04x07 - Timeless!

[bunniefuu]

Wake up the masses!

Assume the crash position.

Hold on tight!

Take a deep breath...

For a cartoon cramaganza!

Aaahh!

Iiiiit's...

Kablam!

Where cartoons and comics collide.

Now to take you inside and turn the pages,

Here are your hosts, henry and june.



Greetings. Henry and june here

Welcoming you to a plumbing-free episode of kablam!.

That's right. We're joining you today from the great outdoors

Where team kablam! Is on its annual corporate retreat.

The network suits make us go on these things to "build team spirit."

That's fancy talk for "free vacation."

Ha ha ha ha!

Henry, honey, are you wearing enough insect repellent?

Mom, my brand new -pocket safari shirt!

I didn't ask her to come.

I gotta tell ya, magoo...

The name's mcgee.

I haven't felt this good since my army days.

Give me a shovel and a roll of tp

And I'm ready to bivouac.

Well, I'm not much of a nature fan myself.

Seen a few too many episodes of when animals go berserk.

What are you worried about?

We got big shoe here in our corner.

[Very loud growl]

[Screech!]

Our camper!

Our food!

My brand new vortex sleeping bag with polar fleece lining!

[Growl!]

Nobody make any sudden moves.

Maybe a cartoon'll calm him down.

Oh, boy! They're interviewing the actor

Who plays jumbohead in the new movie!

Interviewer on tv: so, mr. Hagman,

Did you find it difficult to prepare for this role?

He'll never be jumbohead to me.

Yeah. But I bet you still wish you were at the premiere tonight.

Who wouldn't?

Enough of this silly movie premiere!

So, oddville, you continue to ignore me, do you?

It's that vain villain, vicky von vermin.

Well, ignore this!

One push of the button and your cherished bug zapper factory

Goes kaboom! Heh heh heh heh heh!

Heh heh heh h* h* h*!

My fake threat is sure to attract that troublesome jetcat.

And when I destroy her, everybody will know the name...

Vicky von vermin! Heh heh heh heh!

Time to fly like a jet and bite like a cat.

Hey, can I come?

What's her name is pretty puny.

I could take her.

No way, todd, it's too dangerous.

She's tougher than she looks.

Is not!

Now, to zap this innocent-looking glass of milk

With my amazing mothelizer ray.

One sip of this and jetcat will be

Transformed into a moth,

And powerless to resist the lure of the bug zapper.

Oh, yeah. That's it, little jet kitty.

Come closer. Closer.

Ha. Just cause my name is jetcat,

She thinks I'll lap up this milk.

What a lame trap.

No! It's not lame!

It's genius! Just drink it!

Hey! Hey!

Aw, nuts.

Ugh--ugh!

Ah!

[Panting]

Phew!

Huh?

Mmm!

Leave that milk alone, you rotten kid!

It's for jetcat!

Huh? Who's there?

Eh, must be the wind.

I am not the wind! Do I sound like the wind?

Ah! Refreshing.

Todd, what are you doing here?

You're problems are over, buddy.

I'm here to-- [burp!] Help.

Ah!

Oh, no! Todd, todd!

And you call us pests.

Big galoot!

Jetcat: stay away from the bug zappers!

Get back here!

Hey, now, this isn't so bad after all.

Heh heh heh.

[Buzz buzz buzz!]

Todd! Don't! Come back!

Yes! Try to save him!

Oh, no! There's no time!

Ah!

Rats!

Ah. Now there's a bright idea.

I can destroy jetcat, her annoying friend,

Andthat movie premiere.

Then I'll be extra famous!

Todd! Come back here!

Todd! Come on, buddy! Snap out of it!

Get out of my way, road hog!

Use your turn signal!

Where did you learn to drive?

Yes! Power to the pests!

The anticipation is building here tonight as we--

Ah!

Yes!

No!

Now to find that pint-sized prima donna.

But how?

Jetcat, what is this monster?

Are we safe?

Does it have anything to do with vicky von vermin?

Nope. No connection between vicky von vermin

And the big moth in any way.

What?!

Seems like he just changed into a moth.

I have no idea how it happened.

It was me! The moth boy is my creation!

I'm sure it'll pass.

Whispering: must be something he ate.

Noooo! Only I can change him back!

That's good news for you, von vermin,

Unless you get a thrill out of being squished.

Go ahead and try it, you over-sized party pooper!

Nothing can keep vicky von vermin down!

Nice going.

How often do I get to be a cool, giant moth?

Next time, don't be so quick to spoil my fun.

Fun? You were about to cremate yourself.

Oh, yeah, that. But I coulda been your sidekick, moth boy.

My mindless, useless sidekick, moth boy.

Ha ha ha ha!

Hoowee. Yeah.

How about that for--

[Growl!]

That sounds like a whole panzer division.

C company, fall back.

Great. We're about to be grizzly meat,

And he's having an army flashback.

You, private, get on the blower

And radio for air cover. That's an order.

[Groooooowllll!]

[Teeth chattering]

I don't like your manners, mister.

[Whimpering]

That's that.

Yeah, but we're still stuck here.

Nonsense. Mr. Foot will be back for us.

In your dreams, sister!

I don't like your tone.

Time out! Now listen up.

We may have lost all our stuff,

But I've still got this bad mammer jammer.

What is that thing?

Say hello to the gps personal navigator ,.

It uses satellite technology to tell us--

Grenade! Hit the deck!

Mr. Stockdale!

No need to thank me, marine,

I know you'd do the same for me.

[Sighs] since it looks like we're gonna be here for awhile,

Why don't we all enjoy a little action league now!

Announcer: dateline, the living room repository of knowledge,

Where the priceless records of human thought are pilfered

By the evil genius, smarty pants.

As soon as I steal the rest of the books and cds,

All the world's knowledge will be mine!

Is that genius or what?

With smarty pants on a swiping spree,

The action league safeguards the world's knowledge

By putting it in the last place anyone would think to look...

The flesh's brain.

Gooders! A party hat!

Is it my birthday again?

[Bzzzzzz!]

Aaahhhh!

Well, lab guy, did you k*ll him?

Flesh, can you hear me?

As surely as madison is the capital of wisconsin.

Chess anyone?

Today's episode...

We find our heroes harnessing the flesh's new brain power.

He did it! Amazing!

If I hadn't seen it, I wouldn't have believed it.

What's going on?!

I have successfully programmed the vcr...

Yay! Yay! Yay!

To record nothing but the history channel.

Boo! Boo! Boo!

All right! Cut the chatter, you clowns!

Smarty pants is out there, and we gotta stop him!

Excuse me, chief, but there's no such word in the english language

As "gotta".

Uh--right. Flesh, you stay here.

We can't put your knowledge at risk.

I'm a step ahead of you, chief.

To stay in touch, I fashioned these devices

From a kit I ordered via the internet.

Um--whatever!

Let's move out!

Tut tut, chief.

Never end a sentence with a preposition.

Blast it! Let's--go!

All those who liked flesh better when he was an idiot, say "aye!"

All: aye!

Later, at dad's study, national archives...

Ok, people. I want you quieter

Than a mute mouse at a monastery.

You two stay here. Me and stinky will--

Excuse me, chief.

What is it now, flesh?

Stinky and i.

Blast it! This isn't grammar school!

And I don't have to take...

What have we here?

Chief: ...overnight egghead! Get me?

Or do I have to come back there and spell it out for you?!

Aaahhh!

Later, in smarty pants' hideout...

What are we doing here?

I'll state it simply so your tiny brains can comprehend.

You're about to be destroyed, obliterated,

Pulverized, expunged. Ooh, I've got a good vocabulary.

The joke's on you, smarty pants.

We've hidden the world's knowledge in a place you'll never find it.

Bon jour, mes amis!

Make that adios, amigo.

My word.

Flesh! I told ya to stay at headquarters.

Pish posh. What good is having all the world's knowledge

If there's no one to whom I can show it off?

This nattering nabob is your so-called repository of knowledge?

Quick, name the capitol of ohio.

Columbus, of course.

Correct. I obviously underestimated you.

Perhaps a game of chess will prove my superior intellect.

You strike me as a sporting man.

May I propose a wager?

If I win, you set us all free.

And if I win, all the knowledge is mine!

You're on, mr. Uh--

Doctor, dr. The flesh.

One hour later...

Your king appears to be in grave danger,

Monsieur pantelon.

You play very well, dr. Flesh,

But it's not over until the heavy-set woman warbles.

It's your move.

Gollers! Where am i?

Blimey! The blow to the head knocked all the knowledge out of his brain!

All: oh, no!

Oh, yes.

Lookers! I'm king of the castle!

Oop!

Announcer: is this checkmate for the league?

Or can a witless wonder match wits

With a wicked wunderkind?

Find out in the action-brained conclusion of...

Hey, kablamoids,

Keep your heiner in the recliner.

Still to come, life with loopy!

And when we return,

More action league now!

Right here on...

Announcer: the best build, the best brain.

Is it too good to be true?

You bet your gray matter.

Time is running out, dr. Flesh.

Move, or your colleagues perish.

h* h*! Look at the horsey!

I wanna ride the horsey!

Checkmate! It's inconceivable!

I, smarty pants, have been defeated

By an imbecile, simpleton, ignoramus, dullard!

[Sobbing loudly]

Hurray! We're saved!way to go, fleshy!

Later...

I can't go to prison. I'm too smart for prison.

Erudite, learned, scholarly.

Good to have the old flesh back, huh?

I'll say.

I like you horsey.

Ooohhh!

Aaahhh!

On second thought...

Announcer: the end.

Funny stuff, I guess.

Right now, I'm too hungry to laugh.

We're all gonna starve to death.

Unless the grizzlies get us first.

He's never coming back, is he, that ape man?

[Weakly] food! Food!

If you could all stop your whining for two seconds,

Maybe you'd like to try a piece of this.

Ahooga!

Where'd you get that?

Well, my green-haired friend,

As a decorated member of the log fire girls,

I know a thing or two about wilderness survival.

You see, the woods are full of edible berries.

Of course, you have to be careful to eat only the blue ones

With the red spots.

Oooh! I don't feel so good.

Or is it the red ones with the blue spots?

Wait a second. Don't tell me.

[Throwing up]

[Everyone throwing up]

Now I remember why I got kicked out of the log fire girls.

[Giggling nervously]

Henry's thoughts: dear diary, it's minute of our wilderness nightmare,

And I don't know how much longer we can hold out.

As I look across the faces of my brave, yet doomed companions...

A plane!

Ahooga!

Give me a boost up that tree!

I'll signal it with my medallion.

Stop that. You'll hurt him!

Give me room. Here's how you do it.

Let me handle this. I'm a former log fire girl.

Stand back.

I've got a water-resistant pull cord flare.

Oomph!

Jerk. This is all your fault.

Nice going.

What I do?

[Phone ringing]

I'm in a meeting.

Darned things. Always going off at the worst possible time.

Mr. Stockdale, we coulda been rescued!

Rescued? Are we lost or something?

♪♪♪

Hi. Larry here.

You know, people often wonder what loopy's gonna be when she grows up...

An astrophysicist, a brain surgeon.

Well, after seeing her at our yard sale last weekend,

I'd say she's gonna sell used cars.

'Cause when it comes to wheeling and dealing,

Loopy's the cut price queen.

Check it out, folks. Everything's gotta go.

Our prices are insane!

Larry: by lunch time, she'd sold just about everything.

Boy, all that haggling made me hungry.

Where's lunch?

Here you go, honey. Now where's that father of yours?

Last time I saw him, he was out front,

Taking a nap in the recliner.

The recliner?! I just sold that--

To a couple of weird guys in overcoats.

Oh, dear. You must have sold your father along with it.

Don't worry, mom. I'll just go buy it back.

Hey, fellas, wait up!

Rottlin' roswell! A ufo!

Wait! Come back with my daaaaaaad!

Oh, zotne, we really scored this time.

A genuine earthian recliner.

Boprap, check this out.

Importer's item.

Whoa! What's goin' on, fellas?

Is it halloween already? Ha ha ha ha!

You know, you kids really oughta clean this place up a little.

No point in putting off till tomorrow what you can do today.

Zotne, this earth creature speaks words of great wisdom.

He must be a philosopher amongst his people.

What a deal, what a bargain.

All this for bucks.

Slow down, you discount dummies.

That's not a bargain, that's my dad.

And I didn't mean to sell him, so here's your money back.

Sorry, earthling. No can do.

We are boprap and zotne,

Intergalactic bargain hunters.

Where we come from, a deal's a deal.

But--but he's my dad!

Ok, ok. I tell you what.

We leave for a yard sale on neptune at o'clock this afternoon.

If you can find a worthy trade item by then,

We can talk the turkey.

But I tell you this, earthling, it had better be good.

Dad: whoa, nellie! Gotta remember that little trick

Next time I get stuck in a traffic jam.

Hey, speaking of jams,

Did I get stuck in a doozie last labor day weekend.

See, fellas, old dicky greenberg and I

Were setting off on one of our bass fishing expeditions...

Jumpin' jupiter! What do you get for the alien who's got everything?

A washing machine. Perfect!

It's gotta be tough keeping your underwear clean

On those long space voyages.

I'll take that one.

A fine choice, madam.

Will you begin paying by debit or major credit card?

Uh--how about a junior membership to the yo-yo club?

Huh. Guess he's not a big yo-yo fan.

So I say to d*ck

How's about we pull into that gas station up ahead

And ask directions. So in we go...

Ok, ok. Let me think.

What else would you need on a long space voyage?

Wait! I got it. Entertainment!

Hi. Madonna? How would you like to perform

For a pair of polka-dotted aliens bound for the furthest reaches of the galaxy?

Hello? Madonna?

Ok, zigfried, I understand.

Sure. Give my best to roy and the cats.

Ok. Bye.

Oh, no! I'm almost out of time!

Dad's done for if I can't think of something to trade in the next minutes!

But what? What?!

Ok, dad. Guess I know what I gotta do.

Beam me up, spotty. I'm ready to make a deal.

Dad: so I said to ron. I said, ron, you gotta believe me, pal!

That bass was this big! Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ok, guys. Here I am.

Let's just get this over with.

Thank heavens you're here!

Please, please, take him away!

We cannot stand it any more!

He's no philosopher. He's a gas bag!

Never have boprap and zotne made

Such a merchandising misjudgment!

You must take him back!

Ok, we might be able to make a deal.

So now dad's back home,

None the worse for his close encounter.

I tell ya, honey, those two martian monkeys

Hadda be this big!

Of course, dear.

And loopy, being the shrewd business woman she is,

Even got the aliens to throw in a little extra on the deal.

Boy, I can't wait until I get my driver's license!

I can't go on!

I'm starving!

What's the point?

Just leave me here.

Now shush! I know there's a way out of here,

And I intend to fi--

[Funeral march playing]

It's been one heck of a ride,

But every man's time must come.

Hold the phone.

Remember what this whole trip was about in the first place?

Team spirit. We're gonna cross that river,

And we're gonna do it as a team!

Jane's right.

Yeah!

Who wants a jimmy hug?

We made it!

Yeah, and we did it as a team.

[Honking sound]

[Brakes screeching]

You! This is all your fault!

Leave her alone!

Who rattled your cage?

That's no way to talk to a lady, corporal.

What are you gonna do about it?

Ooph!

Well, kablamers, so much for team spirit.

We'll see ya when we see ya.

Announcer: join us again next time.

Same kablam!time,

Same kablam!network!