01x05 - Band's Best Friend

[bunniefuu]

Hurry up, Leprechaun Hunter is starting!
Turn on the TV.

-Which one turns on the TV?
-It's this one.

-[clicks]
-[whirring]

That's the drum lowerer.
Hi, Frankie.

-Bye-bye.
-[whirring]

-I think it's this one.
-[popping]

That activates the confetti.
[chuckles]

-[clicks]
-This one doesn't do anything.

-[thuds]
-[electricity crackles]

-Oh.
-I'm guessing that turns off the lights.

Turn 'em back on!
Turn 'em back on!

This one only turns off the lights.
Find the one that turns them back on.

-OK.
-[brothers scream]

So, funny thing,
I'm making a smoothie

and suddenly the blender
comes on by itself.

So, that's what this was for.

We're gonna miss Leprechaun Hunter.

-Leprechaun Hunter!
-[Irish folk music playing]

[announcer]
Welcome to Leprechaun Hunter.

Are you ready to help me
capture a wee fellow?

[all]
It's leprechaun huntin' time!

[Dad]
Whoo!

-[theme music playing]
-♪ Yeah! ♪

♪ Hey! ♪

♪ I was sitting at home ♪

♪ Watching TV all alone ♪

♪ So tired of routines ♪

♪ The day goes on and on ♪

♪ So I pick up the phone ♪

♪ Call everyone I know ♪

♪ I say there's gonna be a party ♪

♪ Hit the music, here we go, yeah ♪

♪ You gotta live to party
Bust your move ♪

♪ Everybody's in the groove ♪

♪ Tell the DJ to play our song ♪

♪ Are you ready to rock and roll? ♪

♪ Gotta live to party
Bust your move ♪

♪ Everybody's in the groove ♪

♪ Live to ♪

♪ Party! ♪

-Ah.
-OK, Frankie, you hide,

we'll count to 20
and then we'll come find you.

-I know how hide 'n' seek works.
-Ready? Go.

Wow, kids these days.
Everything just moves so fast.

-[doorbell ringing]
-[gasps] That's Shoe!

[door opens, closes]

Shoe!
Oh, it's just you.

Oh, thanks.
It's really good to see you, too.

-Excuse me.
-I'm sorry.

I just thought you were the Shoe.

You don't mean Carl Schuster
from elementary school?

Yeah, he's here for a visit.

I hope he does that thing
where he pretends to be

a clumsy robot
who can't stop bumping into me.

The clumsy robot?
I loved it when he did that.

[mimicking whirring]

-Excuse me. I'm sorry.
-Stop it. Stop it.

-Pardon me.
-Stop it.

I don't do it as good as him.

I will never forget
the last time I saw the Shoe.

Actually, I don't remember
the last time I saw the Shoe.

-He was more Joe's friend.
-Yeah.

Well, I clearly remember
the time in third grade

when the Shoe filled my
Penelope Peach-pit purse with pudding.

-[laughs]
-You think that's funny?

No, ma'am.

Stella, usually when a boy
is mean to a girl, he's crushing on her.

-Are you defending him?
-No, ma'am.

-[doorbell rings]
-[door opens, closes]

Hey-oh! Check out my rock stars!

-What's up, man?
-What's up? Good to see you.

Oh, look at you.
How are you?

Oh, yeah!
I feel the love!

For the next couple of days,
I'm gonna be

the fourth Jonas band member, all right?

Stella Malone.

My, how you have grown.

You put plum pudding in
my Penelope Peach-pit purse!

Did she spit on anyone else besides me?

Cool place.
Mind if I look around?

-Go ahead.
-[mimicking robot] Excuse me. Pardon me.

-I'm a robot. I'm very clumsy.
-The clumsy robot!

Yes! That's so funny.

[chuckles]
Or that time at summer camp

when that rabbit got into our tent
and Kevin went off screaming.

-[laughing]
-The shadow made it look like a bear.

-With big floppy ears?
-That's what made it more scary.

[laughs]
Those were such great times,

but I didn't come here
to talk about 'em.

I want to hear all about
your crazy rock star lives.

Hey, do I hear
Carl "the Shoe" Schuster?

-Rock star dad!
-Last time I saw you, you were wearing

your alien ninja costume.
I didn't think you ever took that off!

-Got it on under the shirt, sir.
-Wear it proudly.

You know, Joe still wears
his dinosaur underwear.

That was one time...
including today.

Well, look, me fire casa es su fire casa.

-I don't know the Spanish word for "fire."
-Fuego, sir.

You're welcome, Carl.

Hey, remember that time we practiced
signing autographs using cheese spray?

-When was that?
-Right now!

-Whoo! Yeah!
-Dude! Dude, you're cheesing our wall!

Come on, you're rock stars!

Rock 'n' roll!

[bell rings]

Look what I got!
[laughs]

A potato chip!

A potato chip that just happens
to look like Joe.

OK, what?
There's no way that a...

[gasps]
Whoa.

That really does look like Joe.

I mean, it has the part in his hair and...

It even has that cute little dimple
that he has under his nose.

I call it a Joe-tato chip.

It was worth every penny.

Wait. That $50 you borrowed from me
was spent on a Joe-tato chip?

-Awesome, right?
-Awesome wrong. I wouldn't have

lent you the money if I knew
that's what you were gonna spend it on.

Wow, I never realized your friendship
came with so many conditions attached.

Come on, Joe.

[no dialogue]

I'm sorry about the cheese spray.

I thought you guys had, like,
roadies or butlers to clean up for you.

Huh. No.
We spray it, we clean it.

That's why I like to keep
the cheese on the crackers.

So, what are we gonna do tonight?

Hit the clubs, hang with celebs,

-break some hearts?
-Crack the books.

-Oh, yeah.
-School night, remember?

I don't see why you guys
even go to school.

I mean, you're rock stars.

Hey, Joe.
How's that history paper coming along?

[sighs]
Almost done, Mr. Costello.

I just need to finish writing the end...

then I need to finish the middle.

And then I've got to finish the beginning.

Oh!

You know, if this music thing
doesn't work out,

you might have a career in comedy.

Whoa! You know who
you're talking to, slick?

Hello? Joe doesn't need to write
some paper about history.

He makes history.

I do not believe
I've met your friend, Joe.

And you never will.

Not cool, dude.

That's my history teacher.
What are you doing?

I'm sorry.
I'm... I'm just excited.

-I promise to be chill from now on.
-OK.

[girls chattering]

That's right, I'm the fourth Jonas!

I see you checking me out!
I play the piccolo.

[chuckles]

[rock music playing]

Now this is a rock star's room.

Dude, this is cool.
Check this out. Ready?

Let's see this thing.

-[whirring]
-[Carl] Whoa.

-Ooh, can I play this?
-No, no, no.

-Please don't because--
-Yeah! Oh!

-Carl, please don't--
-Rocking! We're rocking!

-Yeah, all right.
-Ah!

Ooh, look out!
Behind the back. Oh!

Put it down, Carl.
Oh, don't lick it!

[Joe] Carl, you don't even know
where that's been.

Hey, there's a smudge on this.

-[screams] No!
-Something wrong?

That smudge is an autograph from legendary
blues guitarist Lefty Bojangles.

Dude, I'm... I'm way sorry.

I mean, I didn't know.
That guy's got really bad handwriting.

That's because he has two left hands!

Hey, Carl, you're gonna love this.

-This is the Stellavator.
-OK.

Stella designed it to hold our clothes.
She's our stylist now.

-Ooh.
-We like to call her our Stella-list.

-Oh.
-Only Kevin likes to call her that.

Check it.
You just punch in what you want

-and it appears.
-[beeping]

For example: Nick, Toronto,
concert jacket, indoor stadium.

-Ah.
-[whirring]

-Awesome.
-[beeping]

Uh, I wouldn't do that if I were you.
Stella doesn't like anybody but us--

Joe, sporty, Hawaii...

No, Alaska.
No, Hawaii! No, Alaska!

[laughs]
Whoo.

-[whirring]
-[clanging]

[computer] Stellavator malfunction.
Fashion emergency...

emergency... emergency... emergency.

Although I could probably
pull that outfit off,

I do not think Stella's
going to be happy.

I can pay to fix it.

Actually, I can't.

[music on headphones muffled]

What are we gonna do?
Carl has gone rock 'n' roll crazy.

He's even more annoying than I remember,
and I didn't think that was possible.

Guys, he's just excited to be here.

He'll mellow out and start acting like
the Carl we know and love.

That we know you love.

Everything will be fine.

-Or not.
-[electricity crackles]

Can't pay to fix that either.
[chuckles nervously]

[rock music playing]

Good.

-Stella?
-Macy.

I know you're using your
"we're in a fight" voice,

but I don't want to fight anymore.
I'm here to apologize.

Oh. Then...

-Macy!
-[both giggling]

I'm sorry I borrowed money
to buy the Joe-tato chip.

I will sell it and then pay you back.

Ohh, you don't have to sell your chip.

If it makes you happy, you can waste money
on whatever ridiculous junk you want.

Thanks!
Wait, what?

Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

I don't mean ridiculous.
Um... useless.

[gasps]
Useless?!

Yeah, useless.
As in, "without use."

[scoffs]
You should talk!

You throw money away
on useless things all the time.

-No, I don't!
-[clattering]

OK, almost all of this stuff
is very useful!

Not to mention I paid for it all myself

instead of borrowing money
from my so-called friend.

Well, I didn't realize you were
a so-called friend

when I borrowed money from you.

No, no, no, you're the so-called friend.
I so-called you.

[scoffs]
I take my hug back.

Fine!
Keep your hug.

I probably paid for it anyway.

[both gasp]

Oh!

OK.

OK, so I have two lockers.
When did that become a crime?

-[squeaks]
-Don't step on that.

Guys, Carl's so hung up
on this rock star thing.

It's like he's not even my friend anymore.

I never thought I'd be saying this,

but I'm kinda glad
he's going home tomorrow.

Where is he anyway?
It's quiet.

Too quiet.

He said he was making
a phone call to home,

which is a good sign.
Maybe he's homesick.

Hey, guys, great news!

You know how I was supposed
to leave tomorrow?

Well, my stepmom says
I can stay for a whole week!

By the way, I met some guys outside.
Come on in, guys.

Can you believe it?
They gave me like 20 bucks

just to come in and take pictures of you.

[chuckles]
Rock 'n' roll! Whoo!

[growls] Look at him,
he's even annoying when he sleeps.

[snoring]

Carl wants to see what it's really like
to be a rock star, we'll show him.

-We'll show him good.
-And he smells like cheese.

One, two, three, four!

[rock music playing]

[gasps]

-What's going on?
-We're rehearsing.

-At 3:00 in the morning?
-Rock 'n' roll doesn't wear a watch.

Yeah, we're rock stars.
We stay up late on school nights.

-Hit it, yeah!
-[rock music plays]

-I can't get that song out of my head.
-It's catchy, isn't it?

No idea, I just can't
get it out of my head.

Sometimes, Carl, we play a song

I must be more tired than I thought.

Why are we up at 6:00 a.m. again?

We're rock stars.
Sleeping is for not-rock stars.

Plus, there's always some sort of

band stuff to take care of
before we go to school.

We got a lot of fan mail,
so you're gonna help us go through it.

-You're gonna read all these?
-We're gonna answer all these.

"Dear Sophie,

Yes, we really are brothers.

And you are right, I am the cutest.

Love, Kevin."

-You can lick all the envelopes.
-One down, a whole lot to go.

This is going to take hours.

Would you rather sort through
the stuffed animals

that we get from our fans?

-It's gotta be better than this.
-Check it out.

Kevin like woodland creatures,
I like things that swim,

and Joe likes things that make noise.

Oh, well, what about this?

-[squeaks]
-Mine!

-He'll give that to Frankie.
-[Dad] No, I won't!

[rock music plays]

[Carl] I gotta be honest,
all those stuffed animals

were really beginning to freak me out.

-Especially the talking ones.
-There weren't any talking ones.

-The teddy bear said you would say that.
-[Nick] Tell you what,

how about we check out some female fans?

Ooh, that's what I'm talking about.

Now the girls here are used to us,
but the visiting teams go nuts,

like the Jackson High
girls' volleyball team.

Play ball.

-Hey, Badgers.
-[girls screaming]

Say hi, to the newest member of Jonas.

Hello... oh!

No, I'm allergic to pain!
Ow-ow!

I'm fragile!

-Macy?
-Stella.

Actually, I'm using my
let's-make-up voice.

-So?
-So...

I was thinking,
any girl that is the proud owner

of a rhinestone-encrusted pencil case
should not be criticizing anyone.

Yeah, I was there when you bought it.
I thought it was weird at the time,

-but I didn't say anything.
-Right... because you're my best friend.

And in return, I shouldn't care
what you spend your money on...

even when it's my money.

Aww...

Remember that hug I took back?
It's yours.

OK, I got you a peace offering.

-Oh.
-It's French onion dip

and somebody dipped a chip in it

and the chip-dip spot
looks just like Nick.

No way. There's no such thing
as Jonas in a snack dip.

I mean, there have been rumors, but I...
[gasps]

It does look like Nick.

Look at the way the chives reflect
his intense demeanor.

-Friends?
-Always.

Mm... mm.

Oh, hey, guys. Just taking
my daily stroll through the atrium.

Hey, Kevin, look what I have.

Oh, good, I am starving.

Mmm...

Hey, Carl.
Where you been all day, buddy?

Wrapped in a volleyball net.

Those girls tore my clothes.

-Actually, Carl, those are my clothes.
-Yeah.

I thought you were
these awesome rock stars,

but you guys are like...
what's the word?

Normal.

Carl, that's what we've been
trying to tell you.

It's still the same Joe, Nick and Kevin,
it's just you're not the same Carl.

I want my old friend back.

You're right.
I'm sorry.

I was just excited to hang with you guys.

I guess the fact that you're famous now

-made me a little--
-Annoying.

-Yeah, and--
-Obnoxious.

-Sure, but--
-Troublesome, vexatious,

-irksome!
-I think he gets it, Kevin.

I'm sorry I messed with your stuff and...

read Kevin's emails
and got you in trouble with your teacher.

-You read my emails?
-Just the ones you've already opened.

I told you "Kevin's password"
was a bad password.

[scoffs]

Here you go.

You have something on your head.

"Guys, I decided to go home early."

-Carl went home?
-"Sorry this didn't work out.

I know I can be really
annoying sometimes."

You can be really annoying, Joe.

-I'm still reading the note.
-Oh. Sorry.

"The only cool thing about me
is that I know you guys."

Joe, don't say that.
You have really cool hair.

Still reading.

"Most of the kids at school
don't even believe that we're friends.

I just wanted my life
to be exciting for once.

See you, wouldn't want to be you.

Actually, I would want to be you.
Carl."

I don't think anybody
wants to be me right now.

I feel pretty horrible.

You know, I do have an idea
how we can make this right.

Really? Can you tell us your idea

without using the words
"chowder," "monkey,"

"pogo," "harpsichord" or "time machine?"

-No.
-I have an idea,

and it doesn't involve any of those words.

Fine, I guess we'll go with Joe's idea.

[rock music playing]

[giggles]
What's up?

Dudes, thanks for throwing me this party.
It's awesome!

-For sure.
-Anything for you.

And you invited
all the kids from my school

who usually ignore me.

It's awesome. And this girl right here,
she just gave me her number!

I mean, she's gonna give me
her number after I talk to her.

-Well, you do that and we'll see you.
-Good luck.

-Cool.
-So, dude, you think you can

stop geeking out on the whole
"Joe the rock star,"

and start letting me be your friend again?

As long as you treat me like,
Carl the friend,

and not like,
Carl the annoying, pushy guy.

-That's my Shoe.
-[laughs]

-See you later.
-Later, dude.

OK, this is Carl's hat,
and I'm gonna put pudding in it.

Revenge is sweet!

-Literally.
-No, you can't. Don't do that.

Why not?
He did it to me.

Carl didn't put pudding in your
Penelope Peach-pit purse, OK?

-Well, if he didn't, then who did?
-I did.

You did?

[sighs] I didn't think it was gonna
get all over everything in the purse.

OK, then what did
you think it was gonna do?

-Oh, it went so wrong.
-Wait... wait a sec.

You said when a guy
does mean things to a girl

it's because he has a crush on her.

Do you have a crush on me, Joe?

Me? [scoffs]
A crush on you?

Me, crush you?
[scoffs]

I have to go to stage.

-Hello, bedroom!
-[cheering]

This song goes out to the guest of honor,

our good friend,
Carl "the Shoe" Schuster!

-[all] Shoe!
-Yeah.

Or as we like to call him,
the fourth Jonas.

[rock music playing]

♪ It all makes sense ♪

♪ Everybody listens
to the words she says ♪

♪ Heading towards a consequence ♪

♪ For every bit of ignorance
Incompetence ♪

♪ It's time for us to work it out ♪

♪ We gotta work, work it out ♪

♪ Before the day is done ♪

Let's pump up the volume!

♪ We gotta be a bit stronger ♪

♪ 'Cause we'll need it
When tomorrow comes ♪

-♪ We gotta work ♪
-♪ Work ♪

♪ Work it out ♪

-♪ We gotta work ♪
-♪ Work ♪

OK, guys, so I glued the remote
to the TV, so we can never lose it again.

So we have to walk to the TV
any time we want to use the remote?

Isn't that just like
not having the remote?

Not so fast.

Watch that.

[announcer] Welcome back
to Leprechaun Hunter.

These wee fellows sure can hide.

[Irish folk music playing]

Wee fellow... hiding.

Guys, we forgot we were playing
hide 'n' seek with Frankie.

Frankie!

-Here's your mail, Frankie.
-Thanks, Dad.

Sure.

I've got to admit, that kid
is the best hide 'n' seek player ever.