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Present, The (2024)

Comedy Movie Collection.
(Buddy/Dark/Black/Parody/Screwball/Slapstick/Sketch/Satire/Spoof/Mock/Comedians/etc.)

Moderators: Maskath3, GabrielAlejo2341, sidolanters, Maskath3, GabrielAlejo2341, sidolanters

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Comedy Movie Collection.

Present, The (2024)

Post by bunniefuu »

[mysterious music plays]

[clock ticking]



[sighs]

[Emma] Mom,

he's taking all the chicken!

[Jen] Can you just wait

until everyone's at the table?

[Max] Hey, still going to

camp out tonight?

[Emma] We're too old

for that stuff.

[Max] I know,

I was just kidding.

[Emma] Besides,

I'm going to a party tonight.

We talked about that.

The answer is no.

I'm literally missing

the party of the year

for a family dinner?

Everyone's going to be there.

-Not everyone.

-Shut up, Max!

Oh gosh, please stop

shouting at your brother.

Taylor's having dinner with us?

Something's going down.

So, your dad and I wanted to

talk to the three of you

all in the same place

about something important.

Mm-hmm. It's--

-This is important. [coughs]

-I just said that.

-I understand.

-Yeah, okay.

Okay, so your dad and I wanted

to talk to the three of you,

because we've decided

that we need to make a change.

No way.

-What are you talking about?

-They're getting divorced.

-No, no, no. It's just--

-It's a trial separation.

I don't want--

You're going on trial?

No, no, no,

we're just going to live apart.

-[Jen] Yeah, we're not.

-I don't wanna go on trial.

-They're not going on trial.

-[Jen] There is no trial.

[overlapping talking]

[Emma] They're getting divorced,

that's what that means.

-For forever, just say it!

-Oh, gosh!

Guys, would you please

just listen to me for a moment.

-[Jen] Taylor--

-[Max] Why are you on trial?

Oh, so you're going to

just get up and leave.

[dialogue rewinds]



[truck beeping in reverse]

[sighs]

[man] I'm waiting!

[indistinct shouting]

[gentle music plays]

[groans] Well, at least

I won't have to

get used to sleeping alone.

I wouldn't go there

if I were you.

[Eric] All right, so...

we're doing it

tonight at dinner.

-[Jen] Where will you stay?

-[Eric] I don't really know.

Dan's got an extra room.

-Oh, his place is disgusting.

-[Eric] Yeah.

I don't suppose

you want to move out.

Don't put it on me.

[Eric] Max!

[upbeat rock music plays]

[Emma] Mom!

He's doing it again!

[Eric] Hey, Max!

You're going to talk to Taylor.

Yeah, and then

you talk to Max and Emma.

-I know, I know.

-[Emma] Mom, he's doing it!

-[Emma] Stop!

-Stop it.

Guys, guys, listen.

This is important.

No excuses,

we need everyone at dinner.

Seriously? Tonight?

-Will we have favorite chicken?

-[Jen] Yeah, sure, sweetie.

No, wait, but Jimmy's having

a party tonight.

It's always

the best party of the year.

Everyone's counting on me

to be there.

You're 16.

What's everyone

counting on you for?

-God, Dad.

-Is Jacob going to be there?

[scoffs] What?

I don't-- I don't know.

Who cares about him?

-He'll definitely be there.

-[doorbell chimes]

Don't you have

a plate to bang on?

Hey, don't hit your brother.

[Emma] Oh, my God. Stop.

-[Max] Hit me again.

-[Eric] That is enough.

[Emma] Thank you.

-[Jen] Oh, no.

-God, Jimmy!

Eric!

-Oh.

-What?

[Eric] Well,

we gave away everything else

my father had in storage.

What are we supposed to do

with a giant,

broken clock that nobody wants?

This is a rare antique, Jen.

-It's kind of creepy.

-Go wait in the car.

Don't you feel like we should be

clearing stuff away right now,

with everything

that we're going through?

Yeah, I'll-- I'll have them

-put it in the basement.

-No.

You know

how Taylor feels about change.

Well, you can tell

Taylor about it

-when you tell him about dinner.

-That was not part of our deal.

-And I'll tell Emma.

-No.

Yeah. Emma!

-Basement's this way.

-Basement.

-You guys got it?

-[man groans]

-[man] Let's get down there.

-[Jen] I'm so sorry.

[man] All right.

Bring it down. Rotate.

Yeah, just

leave it at the bottom

of the stairs, honestly.

[Obama's voice] Hey, Mom.

Oh. Hey, Taylor.

[Obama's voice] They can bring

the clock over here.

[Jen groans]

[mysterious music plays]

What is that?

The clock can help you

now and then,

but only you can change events.

Huh. Hokey.



This is between you

and your dad.

If you want to pull it apart,

or throw it from a cliff,

you can,

but just don't pull that

over on yourself,

it looks pretty heavy.

12-hour repeater.

There's something else

I need to talk to you about.

[Jen sighs]

[Obama's voice] You want me

to be at dinner tonight?

Yeah. How'd you know that?

[Obama's voice]

Now, get the door.

[doorbell chimes]

Huh.

[gentle music plays]

-Hi.

-[courier] Hey.

Another package

-for young Taylor.

-Huh.

Still adding on

to his computer, eh?

-Never ends.

-Don't we have to go?

Oh, yes. You got your bag?

It's on my back.

[Jen exclaims] What was--

Ew, gross!

-[Max] It's on your shoe.

-Disgusting!

[Jen] Oh, God!

["Bad Intentions" by Marius

De La Mer & Indie Elliott]

I got bad intentions for you



Why doesn't Emma

take me anymore?

Oh, honey, she just wants to

drive alone right now.

She never wants to

be with me anymore.

-Is she sick of me?

-She's sick of everyone.

I kind of feel like Taylor got

the best deal of all of us.

-Taylor?

-Yeah.

I mean,

because he has all these issues

that were diagnosed

by professionals,

he gets to sit in the basement

all day playing video games.

Honey, Taylor has

a really hard time.

I mean, can you imagine

not wanting to be touched,

not wanting to go outside?

Today, he was actually

fixing Grandpa's clock.

-That old piece of sh*t?

-Max!

-Yeah. That old piece of sh*t.

-[Max chuckles]



Let's turn that bar to four.

We're here together, guys.

-Let's do this, people!

-This is our moment.

We're going to take it.

No negativity.

Let's be positive!

[Richard] What an incredible

session in there.

-[Jen] Oh, thanks.

-[Richard exhales]

Sorry about that brutal class.

I'm clearly working

through some feelings.

Are you kidding me?

I feel like you took me

to a whole new level in there.

-Really?

-[Richard] Yeah. Yeah.

I'm really excited about

tomorrow's private session.

Oh, actually, you need

to get me a signed release.

My studio doesn't want to be

sued by some rich lawyer.

[Richard] I would never sue you,

Jen. Never. [laughs]

I would totally sue

anybody you want me to.

Oh, I mean, I'm sure

that won't be necessary, but--

No, no, no, I'm serious, Jen.

Just think of me

as your legal eagle.

Ready to dive in and eviscerate

anybody in a moment's notice.

-Really?

-[car crashes]

What the hell?

-What did you do to my car?

-You didn't see him?

-See what?

-The kid.

He ran into the middle

of the street.

-I barely missed him!

-Taylor?

[Richard] Do you have insurance?

[mysterious music plays]

Taylor?

Taylor?

-[door clicks]

-[footsteps approaching]

Oh.

Taylor, did you just--

Did you leave the house, honey?

Oh, wow,

you fixed Grandpa's clock?

Wait, is that the time?

Okay, I'm late

for an appointment.

I've got to go.

If you want to go out the house,

just don't do it alone, okay?

I love you.

[Obama's voice] I love you, too.

[door clicks]

[Jen sighs]

Have you noticed anything

unusual about Taylor lately?

I saw him this morning.

Dropped a package off to him.

Really?

Yeah, Jennifer.

Is that so surprising to you?

[Jen] No, no, I didn't mean

that. I went to the basement.

He's my son, too,

so sometimes I--

I just felt like

I was wondering, because

-when I went down to the--

-[indistinct] with him.

Hello.

Let's save some of that

for our space,

-shall we?

-Okay.

[shushing] [indistinct]

[chuckles] Yes.

So, um--

so, it's happening tonight.

Mm.

Oh, yes.

As we talked about last week.

So, hashtag splitting up.

How are you going to communicate

this to the three of them?

Their family dynamic...

-is about to change.

-[Jen] Well, we don't know.

That's-- that's why

we're here, seeing you.

[therapist] Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Is that what you would

like to talk about?

-Yeah.

-[therapist] Mm-hmm.

That's-- that's why we're here.

Great. Eric?

Yes?

Would you like

to contribute to this?

Sure, I'm just tired...

-[therapist] Mm-hmm.

-...of it all.

The distrust, the...

disinterest...

-the dislike.

-Mm.

If we're going to be single,

maybe it's best

just to get this over with.

-[therapist] Okay.

-Better for everyone.

I hear you, brother. I hear you.

-So, here's what we'll do. Okay?

-Okay.

We will approach

how you would like

this conversation

with your children...

[whistles]

...unspooling.

Oh, we don't know

how to unspool it.

That's why we're here.

That's why we're talking to you.

Right, uh--

I'm sensing a little bit of

anger from you, Jen,

if I'm going to be

honest with you.

And I think that you should get

your vitamin D tested.

You could schedule

a test from Quest.

-Right at your home.

-So, I'm not angry, actually.

And there's nothing wrong

-with my vitamin D.

-Mm...

Can I just say

you're diminishing my feelings

by putting them all

down to a physical ailment.

I have a teenage daughter

who hates me half the time.

I've got a son who doesn't.

He doesn't want to be touched.

I'm splitting up

-from my husband.

-Mm-hmm.

And you know

what the worst part is?

We're paying you

to water your plants.

Technically, Jen,

not to correct you,

but they are not plants.

[chuckles]

You know, they--

they are flowering plants.

But they're not flowers

or plants.

It's important

we use the right terminology.

[water spraying]

[Jen] His obsession

with flowers really bugs me.

Jennifer, I believe

it's a flowering plant

obsession.

And have you noticed

he starts spritzing

every time he talks about anger?

Yes! My gosh.

-Who-- who recommended him?

-[Jen laughs]

They're in your bag.

-Oh!

-[keys jangling]

Hey, I got a little break.

I don't suppose you want to, um,

I don't know, go back to the...

house, you know?

Take a nap or whatever?

[laughs] Are you serious?

We're still married.

In some countries,

you'd have to.

Eric.

[cell phone dings]

[diner din]

[Richard sighs] Hey.

I thought this was your office.

It is. Sometimes.

Please, sit down.

[sighs] And here you go.

You could have scanned this.

Oh, this is

a lot more fun, right?

-[Jen chuckles]

-Uh, I have to confirm.

There's no nuts

in any of this, right?

-None.

-All right. Let's do this.

This is

the best tamponade in town.

I can't think of anybody else

I'd rather

share it with than you.

You're going to love it.

Jen, this might be

a little out of line, but...

I care for you.

While I might not know too much

about your personal life,

I can see

that you're not happy right now.

Come on, please.

Tell me how I can help.

Are you okay?

No. [laughs]

How can I be okay

when you're unhappy?

Something's happening.

[clears throat]

You feel it, too? [gasps]

It's true.

I've had a connection with you

ever since I met you.

No, something

is happening to your face.

Your face is all puffy and red.

-I'll call 911.

-[wheezes] No.

[wheezing]

EpiPen. EpiPen. My car.

-EpiPen.

-[Richard wheezes] Oh, God.

-[Jen] Richard, are you okay?

-[Richard coughing]

-Where is it?

-[Richard wheezing]

-Okay. Get in the car.

-[whimpers] My window!

-Speak to me!

-Compartment. [gasps]

Oh! Found it. It's okay.

Everything's under control.

[Jen whoops] Okay.

[wheezing] Let's do this.

Oh, God.

[raspy breathing]

[Richard and Jen scream out]

-[Jen] Oh, God.

-[Richard gasping for air]

Why do I feel like we should

be smoking cigarettes?

[both chuckling]

Please.

Come for the man

whose life you just saved.

I-- I can't believe

they gave you peanuts

after everything that you said.

It's not peanuts.

It's tree nuts.

Like almonds.

[mysterious music plays]

What is it?

I'm sorry.

-Everything okay?

-Oh.

Hey, Emma. How are you?

Yeah. I'm so sorry.

I just lost track of time.

Wait. What? He's what?

-When did you last see him?

-[Richard] Till tomorrow.

That went good.

[intense music plays]

-Taylor?

-[Emma] Mom? Mom, Taylor left.

[Max] I didn't know

where you were.

-[Jen] Is he back?

-[Max] No, he left the house.

He never leaves the house.

He's not here.

-Hey, Taylor?

-[indistinct] the basement.

Oh! Oh, my God, Taylor.

What a relief.

Mom, what's your problem?

He doesn't like to be touched.

I know, honey.

Don't ever go out

of the house alone.

Do you understand?

What were you doing?

[Emma] What is your problem?

Taylor, where were you?

Were you

at the restaurant right now?

-What restaurant?

-[Emma] Psycho much?

Chill, Mom. He's fine.

[Max] At least we're having

favorite chicken

for dinner tonight.

[Jen sighs]

[door creaks, clicks]

[Jen sighs]

Oh.

-Thank you for saving the day.

-Well.

Just do what I'm told.

You know, for months,

I've been just so confident

that we're doing

the right thing and then...

today I'm like... [sniffles]

...what are we doing?

Jen.

Come on, we--

Listen.

We-- we-- we can wait, okay?

We don't have to

tell them tonight.

All right?

[exhales] Thank you.

Happy to see me?

What? Why?

You have a bulge in your pocket.

-Really?

-Just right there.

-[laughs] I felt it.

-Oh. Yes.

Student had

an allergic reaction,

so I had to

give him an injection.

-You?

-Uh-huh.

-You did this? You hate needles.

-Right?

-I had to give him an injection.

-Oh, my gosh.

Was there nobody

at the studio to do this?

You must have freaked.

Oh, we were at a restaurant.

I guess somebody, um--

somebody gave him almonds.

Restaurant?

Who-- who-- who-- who's the guy?

Uh, Richard. Richard.

-Who?

-Um, he's a-- Yeah.

He's a-- a young guy

that just joined my class.

Huh?

But, you know, nothing happened.

I mean, we held hands and--

Well, that's it, so...

-Congratulations.

-[EpiPen clattering]

Wait, wha--

I can't hold hands with somebody

when you're moving out?

I knew it'd be a student.

[somber music playing]

[muffled talking]

[Emma] I'm literally missing

the party of the year

for a family dinner?

-Everyone's going to be there.

-[Max] Not everyone.

[Emma] Shut up, Max.

Guys, everybody

stop fighting, please.

[Max] Taylor's having

dinner with us?

[sighs]

So, your dad and I, um...

We wanted to talk

to the three of you,

all in the same place, um,

about something

really important.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, this is important.

-[Jen] I already said that.

-[Eric] I know you did.

Okay. So, anyway, you're--

Taylor, um-- Tay--

I haven't even--

Hey, we're not done talking

here.

[Jen] Taylor, sweetie!

Taylor!

[dialogue rewinding]



[truck beeping in reverse]

-[sighs]

-[phone buzzes]

[hopeful music plays]

[sighs]

[exhales]



[upbeat rock music

plays on guitar]

Max!

Hey!

Mom, he's doing it again!

-[tapping]

-Hey!

Max, stop.

-[indistinct talking]

-Stop. Mom!

Mom, he's doing it again.

-Make him stop.

-[Eric] Hey, listen up.

This is important.

We need everyone at dinner.

-Seriously?

-[Eric] Mm-hmm.

Tonight?

[Eric] Okay. All right, honey.

I'm going to dispense

with all the formalities

and just bribe you.

What will it take

to get you at dinner, huh?

[Emma]

Why are you doing this to me?

Uh, it's not--

It's just tonight, honey, okay?

Tomorrow night,

you can go out with Jacob.

Till 10:30 at night.

11:30?

I told you, I don't even

want to go out with him.

It doesn't have to be Jacob.

It could be any

of the Old Testament prophets.

I'll-- I'll pay

for non-alcoholic beverages

and G-rated movies and...

abstinence pamphlets.

[Emma sighs]

Thank you.

-Whatever.

-I mean it.

Not just for this,

for everything, I--

[sighs]

We never have to

worry about you.

You've never been able

to worry about me.

There's a difference.

[car door slams]

Um...

I have to

tell you something, Jacob.

I can't go

to Jamie's party anymore.

-My parents need me at dinner.

-Uh--

Emma! [scoffs]

I bought these.

An entire box. Very optimistic.

Let's just do it at my place.

Right now.

You have

a death metal bedspread.

And little planes

hanging above your bed.

Okay,

they're Jedi Starfighters.

Oh, my God.

This is why

you're still a virgin.

Guess I lucked out then.

[somber music plays]

[muffled talking]

Say, good sir.

Why do you start and things

that do sound so fair.

All hail Macbeth.

Hail to the king--

What's this about

you not going to Jamie's party?

[groans] My parents.

They want me at some dinner.

Hey, uh-- Good stuff...

witches.

And on stage,

he's so good at k*lling people.

-[Emma exhales]

-[Jacob] Hey.

Eva, can I talk to you

for a second?

Sure.

Oh, whatever.

After all,

he already bought an entire box.



[sighs]

-Hey.

-[Emma sniffles]

You okay?

[chuckles] Yeah.

You know,

life's but a walking shadow.

You're doing really well,

by the way.

Yeah, the-- the scene.

Thanks.

So are you.

And I'm not just saying that

because my character would.

All hail!

[both chuckle]

You know,

they're, um-- they're showing

Denzel's version

at the university.

Um, I thought it'd be fun

to see, you know,

his interpretation

of the Scottish play.

I thought that maybe we could

do that or something else,

-or just, you know, that--

-Are you...

-asking me to the movie?

-No.

Maybe. Yes, yeah. I-- Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah? Oh-- Great.

Uh, okay, um--

Well, so, yeah,

it's-- it's tonight.

-So, we cou--

-[Emma sighs]

I can't.

Why is everything

happening tonight?

Emma. Emma, your--

Your mother called the office.

There's been

some kind of family emergency.

Oh, my God.

Cool. Cool, cool.

-Cool, cool, cool, cool.

-[door clicks]

[tense music plays]

Mom?

Mom? Dad?

Taylor, is Mom here?

You promised Mom you wouldn't

use her voice anymore.

[British male voice]

Hello, Emma.

I'm speaking to you

as a British pop star,

so you'll pay closer attention.

[Emma] I can't believe this.

I thought

there was an emergency.

[British male voice]

There is an emergency.

At dinner,

Mom and Dad will separate.

I need your help

to keep them together.

That's what this dinner's about?

I mean, I knew

they were having problems,

but Mom said

they were working them out.

How do you know this?

[British male voice]

The clock can turn back time.

Up to 12 hours.

[laughs] What? Come on.

[British male voice]

I found out when I fixed it

the first day it came.

That's today.

It came this morning.

[British male voice] This is

the 23rd version of today.

Which is how I know that

Mom and Dad are splitting up

at the end of it.

And how I know the next words

you're going to say.

This is stupid.

Yeah, of course you knew that.

This is stupid.

Um, how about this?

Blueberry buttercup

fatty pickles.

[dramatic music plays]

[British male voice] I think

I know how to stop Mom,

but I need your help with Dad.

They're making a big mistake.

How do you know it's a mistake?

I mean, better now than later.

Spoiler alert. Love sucks.

It never lasts.

[British male voice]

Jacob's a w*nk*r.

Mom and Dad are different.

[tense music plays]

[Taylor panting]

-[Taylor vomits]

-Oh, God!

You're done barfing, right?

'Cause I just cleaned my car.

Yeah? Oh-- [groans]

[Emma sighs]

We're off to a flying start.

[British male voice]

Pull over. Here.

Sorry we haven't spent

much time together lately.

We don't really

talk much anymore, do we?

I know we're

not supposed to talk about

the not talking, but...

You can talk, right?

You just don't want to?

Look...

I don't blame you.

Most of what people say

is really stupid.

I just wonder if...

Taylor, where are you going?

Taylor, what are you doing?

[breathing heavily] Oh, my God.

[man] g*dd*mn.

What did you do to my car?

You didn't see him?

-See what?

-The kid!

Dude, what the hell

just happened?

The car almost hit you.

You almost got k*lled.

Oh, my God.

If Mom and Dad knew

what you were doing

right now, you'd be so grounded.

[British male voice]

I love being grounded.

But that was the easy part.

Now is where I need your help.

[Emma sighs] Look at him.

No wonder they're in trouble.

Mom's beautiful,

and he's a mess.

It's like

he's not even trying anymore.

And he's smoking again?

He's such a loser.

How is that our dad?

[British male voice]

It's all we have to work with.

Yeah, I know.

[indistinct chatter]

I have an idea,

but we need money.

Taylor, is that real?

[gasps] How did you get it?

[British male voice]

The stock market.

Is that totally ethical?

It's for a good cause, right?

Okay, so you're gonna

say to him,

"It's a promotion,

and we're giving free haircuts

to everyone in the office,

and it's your turn."

I don't like lying.

How short do you want it?

[upbeat music plays]

[British male voice]

We have 60 seconds.

Is this absolutely necessary?

No. Oh, my God.

Oh, no.

Um...

[yelps and screams]

[indistinct chatter]

She noticed

his haircut, at least.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God, they're going

somewhere together.

Like, this is great.

[British male voice]

I've never gotten them this

far.

This is huge.

They went home together.

We actually did it.

[British male voice]

We'll see at dinner.

I know...

I acted like I didn't care

when you first told me.

I guess...

I guess it's just easier

to act like you literally

don't care, right?

Because you don't have

any control of these things

that are happening to you.

The truth is, I can't imagine

Mom and Dad apart.

Oh, crap.

Mom's leaving by herself.

La Marmotte?

What were you doing

in the kitchen?

And who's that weird guy

with Mom?

I'm not breaking

into anyone's car.

I'm not doing it.

[British male voice]

I'm not strong enough.

Please. I'll explain later.

Get back.

That's an EpiPen.

It could save someone's life.

[Jen] Oh, my God.

You're not even breathing.

Where's the EpiPen?

[Richard coughing and choking]

Oh, God. Not my window.

Right there.

Oh, God. I found it.

Okay. [yelps]

Okay.

I'm putting it there!

I'm putting it there!

[Richard] Let's do it.

What?

k*lling Mom's new boyfriend

isn't going to solve anything.

She needs a shock,

but not that kind of a shock.

[Jen] Oh, thank God.

She needs a vision.

Don't forget to stop

at the Mini-Mart

and buy favorite chicken

for dinner tonight.

[Jen] Yeah. Yeah, I know.

I'm on my way.

-[Richard] Till tomorrow!

-Who's that?

[Jen] Uh, just some crazy man

yelling at me from the street.

-Bye.

-[line beeping]

[British male voice]

It's Showtime.

Hey, Siri. Call Dylan.

[line ringing]

"Tomorrow, and tomorrow,

and tomorrow,

Creeps in this petty pace

day to day,

To the last syllable

of recorded time;

Out, out, brief candle!

It is a tale told by an idiot

Filled with sound and fury,

Signifying nothing."

"My spouse has died,

but yours still lives.

A chance to change your fate

and fate to you alone gives.

See the light

and change your way.

Change your way...

and change today."

It was really okay?

Oh, my God.

It was so much better than okay.

You totally blew her mind.

Okay. And-- and what was

that part at the end?

Uh, that wasn't in the play.

I wrote it to fit the occasion.

Wow, you're really good.

[chuckles] Thank you.

Um...

thank you again so much

for doing this.

-I--

-Yeah.

-Um...

-Uh...

-I'll see you tomorrow.

-Tomorrow.

[whispering] Tomorrow.

Tomorrow, and tomorrow,

and tomorr--

-[car horn honks]

-[man] Hey, MacBeth!

Move it!

-[Emma] Hey, Mom.

-Oh, hey, kids.

-How was your day?

-Huh, weird.

Oh, yeah. I guess so.

No, I'm sorry.

I forgot about that.

I just, uh, saw it lying

by the side of the street.

I thought

that could stab somebody.

-Who would leave it there?

-Hmm.

-Maybe a crazy man?

-Hey, everybody.

Oh, oh, hey, hon.

-Can we talk?

-Yeah.

Looks good, right?

Your father and I wanted to

talk to the three of you

all in the same place

about something important.

But we're not gonna

do that tonight.

Instead, we're just gonna have

a nice family dinner, all right?

-[Jen] Right.

-[Eric] Dig in.

I'm gonna have this.

Now, thank you very much.

Are you-- are you kidding me?

-[Eric mumbles]

-Dylan Barlow.

I knew it. I knew his face.

I couldn't remember his name.

He's your friend, right?

No. Yes.

How do you know Dylan?

Well, his mom takes

my Wednesday morning class,

and he just followed me around

a supermarket...

-doing Shakespeare quotes.

-Huh?

That's really weird.

Why would he do that?

Yeah, that's what I'm

gonna find out, actually.

What are you doing?

I'm just gonna text his mom.

No, stop.

It was my idea.

I...

thought that it would change

your plans, and...

it did, right?

[laughs] My plans?

With Dad.

To get divorced.

-What?

-[Jen] Hey-- wait, no.

No, that's--

that's not what's happening.

-Have you been spying on us?

-Emma!

-Yeah, but I--

-[Jen] There is no but.

We do not snoop in this house.

We just don't.

We face each other

from a place of honesty.

Oh, yeah?

Is that what you told

the weird guy you met for drinks

before you went to his car

and pulled down his pants?

-Emma!

-Emma.

What are you--

What is she talking about?

Oh, a new private.

We met at a restaurant.

He had an allergic reaction.

It was nothing, but I had to

give him an injection.

-You hate needles.

-Mm-hmm.

Congratulations.

Mom and I

are separating, everybody.

-[Jen scoffs]

-I knew it would be a student.

Sweetie! No.

No. E-- Emma!

[both parents] Emma!

W-- wait. What's happening?

-Emma!

-[Jen] Just wait, sweetie.

Guys.

f*ck. Piece of sh*t.

Listen, we didn't mean

to spring it on you like that.

You know--

[dramatic music plays]

[music crescendos]

[truck beeping]

[groans]

[groans] Well,

At least I won't have to

get used to sleeping alone.

I wouldn't go there

if I were you.

So...

we're doing it tonight.

Where will you stay?

I-- I don't really know.

Da-- Dan has an extra room.

Dan? His place is disgusting.

I don't suppose

you want to move out?

Don't put it on me.

[rock music plays]

Max!

-[Max vocalizing]

-Max!

Hey! Max!

What do you want?

I'm rocking out.

Well, rock out in your own room.

With your own headphones.

Nobody wants to hear this.

-That's not true.

-And leave your sister alone.

Why are you--

why are you always annoying her?

See this space? Stay away.

So you're gonna

tell Taylor about dinner.

Then you're gonna

talk to Max and Emma.

Yes, yes.

Guys, Mom and I need

everyone at...

-[doorbell rings]

-...dinner.

It looks a lot worse

than when we put it in storage.

What does it matter?

It doesn't work.

It's kind of creepy.

It's got

these scuff marks all over it.

Got a scratch up here.

Looks like

the minute hand's missing.

You guys didn't drop it,

did you?

-Not yet.

-Take it down to the basement.

Taylor and I think

we can fix it.

Taylor? Are you...

[clock ticking]

[chuckles] Wow.

That's incredible.

[Obama's voice] Don't touch it.

It's very fragile.

Oh, right.

Of course.

Uh, amazing.

Uh, there's a package here

for President Obama himself.

Wow.

Well, that is amazing.

[Obama's voice]

Why are you moving out tonight?

Taylor?

Were you listening

in on our conversation?

Because you know,

we've talked to you

about listening before, and--

Well, that is amazing.

[Obama's voice] Promise me

that you'll never leave us.

[sobbing]

Oh, God.

I love you and your sister,

your brother so much.

I never wanted--

Well, that is amazing.

[Obama's voice] Are things

okay between you and Mom?

Yeah.

Yeah, it's fine.

No matter what happens...

I love you and your brother

and sister very much.

Fist bump?

All right.

I'll see you a little later,

all right?

Oh.

I forgot my coat.

Hey, Eric.

[Eric] Charlie.

[Charlie] Do you have

a plastic bag?

-No.

-[Charlie] Yeah, okay.

Never mind.

[phone rings]

Hey, Devan. What's up?

[Devan] I'm sorry, Mr. D.,

but I got some not-so-great

news

about your apartment.

Apparently, Harry Styles called

and wanted your apartment

for his LA pied--terre,

offered a bunch of cash,

and they gave it to him.

-Not cool.

-What-- what are--

-What are you talking about?

-And I get it.

I mean, I'm totally a Styler,

but also not cool.

No, no, no. Devan?

But the good news is

I checked out another place

that we manage

that you will love.

I can show it to you

this afternoon.

-It's great.

-Okay.

-Well, then, let's go--

-[line beeps]

Don't have misgivings.

This is part of the process.

-Here.

-Oh, thanks, Bill.

How's Devan? Is he helping?

Uh, yeah.

-He's a-- he's a real go-getter.

-Yeah.

I don't know what

I would've done without him

in my divorces.

Gotta have a bachelor pad.

Wait till you start putting it

to good use, right?

[clicks tongue]

How's Justin handling it?

Who?

Justin. Your son.

Oh, yeah, yeah, no, he's great.

I think

our relationship's probably...

it's as good as it's

ever gonna be, you know?

-Uh-huh.

-[Bill laughs]

-Uh, I'm gonna go get a latte.

-Yeah.

Grab me one, too.

-Hey, Dad.

-Oh, God.

Oh. [chuckles nervously]

This is for a friend.

Terrible habit.

I should-- he should quit.

-Yeah.

-Why aren't you at school?

They canceled it.

You expect me to believe that?

I believe you were holding

that cigarette for a friend.

Fair enough.

What can I do for you?

Well, I have these gift cards

from your last birthday

that you haven't used.

-These?

-Yeah.

They're brand-new.

Unlike your smoking habit,

which I'm willing

to keep a secret.

If what?

If you let me

give you a makeover.

What? Me? No.

Uh, what are you talking about?

-Dad.

-Honey,

I really do appreciate

the thought

and the general weirdness

of your sudden appearance here,

-but--

-Trust me.

You need one.

Desperately.

Are you sure, honey?

Yes, I'm sure.

You look amazing, Dad.

I don't feel

like myself, honestly.

Please you just have to

be confident.

But when you see Mom, please

tell her this was your idea.

-Okay.

-Okay?

I had nothing to do with it.

You did it for her.

No, no, no, no.

Honey, this isn't

a good idea for me

to be lying to

your mother right now.

No, you'll be fine. It's fine.

Ooh, what happened to you?

-You like it?

-Uh-huh.

Just decided to change my look.

In time for being single?

No, I did it all for you.

Well, I don't believe that.

Emma told me to say that.

She showed up at my work,

and she gave me a makeover.

-Emma?

-Yeah.

But wasn't she at school?

She said it was canceled.

-That's weird.

-Yeah.

Tip of the iceberg.

Weirdest day

I've ever experienced.

Well, maybe

it's just because you know

-what's happening tonight.

-Yeah.

Hey. Hello.

What is the deal

with the Diehls?

[laughs maniacally]

I-- I don't know.

Let's find out.

Let's find out together.

Come on in.

-How are you?

-Good.

How are you? Thank you.

I'm great.

This is-- this is great.

-[Jen] So, um...

-[Dr. Polhemus clears throat]

Sorry, family emergency.

So this is happening tonight.

Mmm. Mm-hmm. I hear that.

But what if--

what if it doesn't?

What do we have to do together

to keep you two from uncoupling?

I thought we were telling

the kids tonight at dinner,

and that's what

we've spoken about.

It feels a little soon.

Let's not rush into things.

I'm-- I'm sorry, did--

did something change?

Because last week, you were...

Last week was so last week,

am I right? [laughs]

I say so many things, you know.

Words just come out of my mouth.

Ju-- just trying things.

But this week,

I'm getting this vibe, right?

That you two

are just great people.

Great people who can either,

hey, stay together

or make the same mistakes

with less great people.

I don't know,

just spitballing here.

Why don't we just stay together,

you guys?

Are you serious?

I'm detecting a little bit

of anger in that voice.

Well, you just turned around

after months of discussion

-and-- and changed your mind.

-True.

I don't even know

what I'm doing.

There's nothing there.

There's nothing there. [sobs]

[whispering]

There's nothing there.

I know what I'm doing.

I'm keeping you two

from burning it all down.

-What are you doing?

-Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Putting out the fire.

Cooling you off.

Cool off. [laughs]

How about a candy,

you guys, huh?

Let's sweeten the deal

for the Diehls.

Oh!

You just have a great last name.

I don't like my last name,

but we can't pick

our Danish stepfathers.

[in Danish accent] Nothing was

ever good enough for him.

[laughs maniacally] I'm okay.

What about when

he spritzed us with the water?

Oh, my God.

What is wrong with this guy?

-That's so unprofessional.

-Who-- who recommended him?

Bill. Bill from your work.

[laughs]

You're right.

-It wa-- it was.

-100%.

And by the way, you have lost,

like, ten years.

This haircut is so cute.

Oh.

Does that mean

we're touching each other again?

If so, maybe we go back

to the house,

take a nap.

Are you serious?

Well, we're still married.

[hopeful music plays]

Some countries you'd have to.

[laughs] Eric. Eric.

[both moaning and panting]

Turns out all we needed to do

to have a good nap was split up.

No wonder

half the country's divorced.

[groans] Right.

Why did we stop trying?

I don't know.

It's just easier, right?

Just give in to it.

Entropy.

You ever

think there's a way back?

What?

[groans] You ever think there--

-What did you say?

-Nothing.

Nothing.

-[Jen chuckles]

-[Eric grunts]

[groans] Yeah.

Are you all right?

Yeah. Fine.

Ugh.

I got to make a work call.

I got a new private.

Mmm. Lucky guy.

How do you know it's a guy?

Lucky guess.

I'll leave you in private,

so you make your call

to your private.

What?

[Eric] Ooh.

Now, as you can see,

everything is up-to-the-minute,

cutting-edge, state-of-the-art.

Everything that

the modern, hot, single man,

especially with this look,

could ask for.

Yeah, okay, and I want to be

clear about this.

This place

is available immediately.

Oh, yeah, it's all yours.

No worries.

And wait till

the new hookups see this place.

I'm talking muy enthusiastic

consent, hombre.

-Okay.

-Okay?

And most of

the residents are single,

so you don't have to

deal with any annoying kids.

All right, right this way.

[door panel beeps]

-All right. Here we go.

-[door creaks open]

And you are going to

love this place.

-Okay?

-[door beeping]

[synthetic voice] Wrong number--

Oh, the gate's

a little malfunctioning.

Okay, hold on, let's do

a [indistinct]. [laughs]

Here we go.

Welcome

to your new bachelor pa--

Oh, my Lord!

Yeah, it was perfect

this morning!

You know, I-- I-- I'm sorry,

Mr. Diehl.

We'll get this fixed up

and have it good as new.

[continues inaudibly]

What am I doing?

[Jen] Oh, God,

I forgot about that, yeah.

Who would put it there?

-Hmm. Maybe a crazy man?

-What?

Were you two, uh...

What?

Never mind. Um, honey...

can we talk?

Who came up with

the idea of a deadline?

Ma-- ma-- maybe we, you know,

could do it next week

or a couple of weeks

or the first of the month.

But you've talked about

being in limbo.

Don't you want to move on

with your life as a single guy?

Jen, you know

that's not what I want.

And if there's any chance

that we can work this out,

isn't it worth waiting a moment?

Do you really believe that?

I know I haven't been...

fully present for a while.

But you know,

ever since Taylor was born,

I'm like a ghost in this house.

I certainly fell off your radar.

I just...

[groans] I have three kids who--

We have three kids, Jen.

So where have you been?

You're just

so much better at it than me.

Especially with Taylor.

I could never reach him.

At all.

And I could never reach you.

[hopeful music plays]

I just-- I don't know,

just checked out.

Like, I've had one foot

out the door for months.

But today,

something changed, really.

God, I-- I don't want to

live my life without...

my family, without my kids...

without you.

How do I know you won't have

one foot out of the door

again tomorrow?

I'm right here.

Fully committed.

And you'll let Emma

keep dressing you?

-Yes, I will.

-[both laugh]

Oh, Emma,

you can go to your party.

Really? Yay!

Whoa.

That's a lot of

excitement for a party.

Oh, I'm not going.

I'm just...

happy, you know,

to have the option.

Okay.

[sighs]

[clock chiming]

[intriguing music plays]

Dad?

What are you doing?

Uh, you know, my, uh,

grandfather always said,

"The clock can help you

now and then."

But it was always broken.

I can never figure out

the gears or the movements,

but look at that.

Galileo said that a pendulum

will stay in motion

unless a force acts

to make it stop.

Otherwise, it'll just go forward

and backward

and forward and backward.

Your great-grandfather

would be very proud of you two.

Text from your realtor?

"Your new bachelor pad

is clean and ready."

Uh-oh, no, wait.

I didn't want to do this

in front of the kids,

but so much

for being fully committed.

No, no, no,

this is a miscommunication.

This was supposed

to be a trial separation.

You were going to stay at Dan's.

You said Dan's was gross.

I was trying to find a place

that was comfortable

for the kids.

Yeah, and for

your new girlfriend.

[Eric]

There's no new girlfriend.

[Jen]

Just a lonely bachelor pad.

There's no bachelor pad!

You better hope there is,

because you need somewhere

to stay tonight.

And you know what?

It's lucky for you,

you have a packed suitcase

under your bed!

-No.

-And I saw it!

Jen!

Jen!

Should I do the honors?

Does he look tired to you?

All right.

[static crackling]

[dramatic music plays]

[music crescendos]

[alarm beeping]

[rock music plays]

Oh-oh-oh-oh

[indistinct lyrics]

[vocalizing]

[intriguing music plays]

[Emma] We steal his phone,

that's great!

[British Pop Star]

But we can't be

in three places at once.

Oh, God.

Hey, guys,

what are you talking about?

Nothing to do with you.

Why are you guys

always leaving me out of stuff?

[Max groans]

-[Emma chuckling]

-Ow.

-[amplifier beeps]

-[rock music playing]

[Max vocalizing]

[Emma] If I'm not in my room

or eating breakfast,

he comes down here.

I don't want him

involved with this!

-Involved in what?

-Have a nice trip.

You better come--

[grunts and groans]

How did you know

that was going to happen?

[Emma sighs]

Taylor discovered that Grandpa's

clock can turn back time.

Seriously?

-That's so cool!

-Wait, no, no, no, stop!

[Max groans]

Wow, it really works!

You can't tell

anyone about this.

Please, just, I don't know,

go to school

like it's a normal day.

But I want to help you guys

with whatever you're doing.

Think of us working together.

[Obama's voice]

He turned back the clock.

He's stuck with us now.

[Emma sighs] Fine.

Max, we can't afford

any screw-ups.

This is a very

delicate situation.

Mom and Dad

are going to break up at dinner

if we don't do

everything exactly right.

Wait, what?

[Obama's voice]

Pay attention, Max.

The clock is aging.

It can't take much more.

This day may be our last chance.

Let me help.

They're my mom and dad, too.



It's so obvious

Dad packed this and not Mom.

Ten pairs of underwear

and two shirts?

[man] So both

Max and Emma are sick today?

That sounds so real.

That's even better

than the Obama filter.

Hey, guys.

What are you doing down here?

I'm going to drive Max

to school today,

so you're off the hook.

-To school?

-But we just--

And Taylor, honey,

did you know that,

um, we're having dinner tonight?

[Emma] We already told him.

We're all really

looking forward to it.

It'll be so nice having dinner

together for a change.

-Yeah, it's been a while.

-Oh.

-Oh, sh**t! Watch out!

-What?



A-- are you sure

you can afford this?

We made $8,000

day trading this morning.

-Is that like drug dealing?

-No.

We knew which stocks

were going up in the first hour,

so I put all

my babysitting money into them.

Forget Mom and Dad.

Let's go to Vegas.

We can get one of those

high-roller suites

and have a sibling camp out.

[adventurous music playing]

[music intensifies]

[indistinct chatter]

Hi, Mom.

Teacher sent me from school

to get information for a report.

Max, what are you--

[Jen chuckles]

Max, this is Richard,

my student.

What's up, bro?

Cool duds.

Yeah, you can leave now.

-Wait, don't be rude.

-Right.

-Please leave now.

-I'm so sorry.

No, it's cool. It's cool.

I mean,

little bro's on a mission.

-Catch you later?

-Okay.

Tell me about

your first date with Dad.

-How did you get here?

-I gotta get back to school.

-Go. First date.

-Um, okay, so, uh,

your dad had tickets

to a symphony,

and it was classical music,

which I'm not into,

but I thought he was cute,

so I said yes.

Uh, we went there,

and there was this concert hall,

and next to it was

a food truck selling beignets.

-A what?

-Oh, a beignet.

It's like a donut,

but they don't have

a hole in it.

Oh, anyway, so,

you know, your dad was like,

"Oh, they smell so good,

we have to try one."

We were running late,

but I was like,

"Ah, okay, and--"

Oh, God, I'll never forget.

That first bite...

it was so delicious.

And then it started snowing.

[sighs]

It was so crazy, because,

like, it never snows in town.

And it was just so new.

[sobbing]

And so exciting.

And it was just like...

the city, your dad, life.

It was just--

It was packed into

this one magical moment.

Are you okay?

Um, yeah, yeah, sweetie.

I-- I just hope that someday

you can experience that

with someone,

because it really was special.

Is it still in a circle?

-What, sweetie?

-Even without the hole.

A beignet?

No, honey, it's--

it's shaped like a square.

-Wait, what's this project for?

-I-- I have to go.

Wait, Max, how are you

getting back to school?

[dynamic music plays]

[Max] Symphony, snow,

and a beignet truck.

[Emma] A what truck?

Like a donut,

but square in holes.

I have friends

in a school orchestra,

but where do we get

a beignet truck?

I have an idea about snow.



Does he even

care about the fish?

-Oh, I was just taking him--

-Max.

Oh, Nemo?

Oh, no!

I had nothing to do with this,

you did this for her.

No, no, no, no, honey,

this isn't a good idea for me

to be lying to your mother

right now.

[Emma] It's fine. You're fine.



Harry Styles called.

He wanted your apartment

for his L.A. pied--terre,

The good news is,

I checked out another place

that we manage

that you will love.

You can see it right now.

[intense music plays]

-[glass shattering]

-[kids chuckling]



[both grunt]



We gotta go. [indistinct]

[Max]

Really? Not now. This is fun.



This is so much fun,

I don't want this day to end.

Don't say that.

Okay.



[whistle blows]



-Hey!

-[metal crashing]

What the hell?

What did you do to my car?

Bumblebee stole my phone!

[Devan]

The whole place is trashed.

-In position, make the call.

-Good job, Max.

We'll finish everything at home.

You know what to do now.

Devan, call for you on my line.

It's Barack Obama.

What?

[quiet chatter]

-Hello?

-[Obama's voice] Is this Devan?

-Yeah, uh, Mr. President.

-Devan,

I've been trying

to reach you all day.

-Yeah.

-I need a [indistinct], man.

Well, what about Michelle?

[Devan] Okay, well,

are the girls coming?

Yeah, believe me.

Maxman to base.

Mission accomplished.

[Richard] Let's do this!

[Richard grunting]

[Richard laughs viciously]

According to Find-A-Phone,

you stole--

Your Jen's kid.

-It's Emma and Taylor's fault.

-Let's go, Bumblebee.

Oh. Oh, my God.

[classical music playing]

This is amazing.



[indistinct chattering]

[both] Did you?

-I did-- I--

-I did not.

I swear.

Wow.

It was pretty fantastic.

That date.

That whole night.

-Yeah, it was.

-It was.

[both chuckle]

This is unusual.

-Smells good.

-Sure does.

Should we get a beignet?

I think we should.

-We're gonna have two beignets.

-Come on right up.



Dylan.

-All right, here you guys...

-Where's Max?



Hmm. They're just as good

as they were back then.

Back then,

I was too terrified to even eat.

I was afraid you were gonna slap

me when I asked you to kiss me.

I would have kissed you

at any time during that date.

I probably

would have kissed you hello.

-Now you tell me.

-[Jen giggling]

[Jen laughing]

So you didn't do this?

I didn't do this.

It was Max.

Our Max?

He grilled me about

our first date this morning.

-Wait. Wait, it's snowing?

-Snow.

This is fantastic.

[emotional music plays]

I want to stay

with you and the kids.

There's no other home for me.

I want you to stay, too.

All right, Stuart Little.

Judgment day.

-So what happened?

-Find-A-Phone.

-I told you to turn it off.

-[Max] I forgot.

You know this little dude?

Yeah, he's my brother,

unfortunately.

Neither of my parents

are home right now,

so thank you

for bringing him back,

but I'll just take it from here.

What's going on here?

[Emma and Max] Nothing.

-Nothing.

-Doesn't look like nothing.

So maybe your mom

wants to hear about this.

-Let's go.

-[Emma and Max] No, no, no, no.

Let's go, Captain Klepto.

-Tell your mom.

-Oh, uh, Richard.

Wha-- what are you doing here?

Your kid stole my phone.

Max, is that true?

I'm sorry, you-- who are you?

Who's this guy?

-My student.

-I'm a friend.

A friend?

How do you know my wife?

-Okay, let's not do this.

-Let's not.

I just wanted to let Jen know

what a kid was up to.

Eric?

Hey, I thought that was you.

-Hey, hey, how you doing?

-Hey, all right.

Seems to be someone here

has my phone.

-[both] I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

-Who's this guy?

Devan Andrew.

I'm Eric's realtor.

Realtor? Really?

And that bachelor pad?

It is ready.

-Wow, are you kidding?

-[Richard] Hey, you know what?

It's all good.

I'm just going to get going.

You want to go with him?

Beignets, anyone?

Nobody wants a beignet.

Could they turn this off?

-[indistinct]

-We've gotta make this right.

Don't turn it back. Come on.

[Eric] No bachelor pad.

[Devan] It's a beautiful pad.

[Eric] Your timing

wasn't exactly great on that.

-You need a lawyer.

-[indistinct]

-No, hold on.

-[overlapping conversation]

[Max whistling]

Quiet!

Mom and Dad, all we've been

trying to do today

is figure out

how to keep you guys together.

And you keep on screwing it up.

Okay, Max, we can talk about

this inside at dinner, but--

No, we do not want

to go to dinner

because that's where

you always announce it.

Look, don't take my word for it.

Taylor's relived the day

38 times.

-Max, that's enough.

-And every time you screw it up,

Taylor has to rewind

Grandpa's old clock.

Taylor?

No, Taylor,

I told you I got this!

-[distorted music plays]

-[whoosh]

[dramatic music plays]

[alarm beeping]

["Doin' It Right" by STS $ RJD2]

Hands up!

Max had some sort of

seizure this morning.

-[Emma sobbing]

-[Max groaning]

I'm looking at it now, Doctor.

Is there nothing we can do?

[Dylan] The best thing to do

is keep him calm.

No surprises

or trauma of any kind.

[Max groaning]

What a hospital are you at?

I think we're gonna need

a second opinion.

This is a real emergency.

Are you kidding?

Nobody believes you.

God, I miss the days we used to

put thermometers on light bulbs.

See what that might entail

I got some slight detail

from your homegirl

You know I knew your

girlfriend back in the day...

Why would thieves only steal

a dining room table?

Why not jewelry?

Okay, so your dad and I wanted

to talk to the three of you

all in the same place

about something important.

Yes, this is important.

No excuses.

We need everyone at dinner.

Your dad and I wanted

to talk to the three of you.

That's one million dollars.

And it's yours to keep.

All you have

to do is stay married.

Where did that money come from?

FBI! Nobody move!

Yo get your hands in the air,

you came to party tonight

We gon' get down, hell yeah

You'll have

the time of your life

So your dad and I wanted

to talk to the three of you.

Well, I thought

they weren't pretty good.

It was weird, though.

It was like they already knew.

[indistinct] Wait. Hey!

Woohoo!

Get back here!

Alright, alright

I get the stage crackin'

sh*t, I get major backing

Listen, we need everybody

at dinner tonight.

Amazing news!

I just won a playwriting

contest that includes

a four-year scholarship

to college.

Oh, honey! That's amazing!

-Congratulations.

-Um, there's just one condition.

The parents

of the winning student

have to stay married

for all four years.

That's a very unusual condition

for a scholarship.

I mean,

it's a religious foundation.

I think they just want

to promote marriage, you know?

But it's not a big deal.

You guys are married.

American Foundation

for Theatre and Marriage?

I've never heard of this before.

Oh, sweetie, that seems bogus.

I'm sorry, we'll have to do

-more research.

-No, forget it!

-Wow.

-Weird.

They think

the foundation is bogus.

We just invented

a new foundation, right?

We need to try cancer again.

I know I can nail it this time.

No, look at the clock.

We can't start over anymore.

If we don't do anything,

they're splitting up at dinner.

Yeah, I know.

What do you think, Taylor?

Why don't you say something

for once?

-I'm turning it back.

-Whoa, Max. No, you're not.

-Stop.

-Don't clock block me.

Oh, my God,

not until we try everything.

We have tried everything.

You're gonna waste a day.

-It's over. I'm doing it.

-No, you're not.

[glass shattering]

Oh, God.

[Emma] I guess that

settles that.

-We're stuck with today.

-It's not my fault.

[Emma] Of course it is.

This is why

I don't want you around,

why I always avoid you.

You screw up everything.

Only because you never think

I can do anything.

You can't.

You're a walking catastrophe,

both of you.

Don't pick on him.

She didn't mean it, little bro..

["Break My Fall"

by Altidore & Chance]

Wildfire rollin' in

I'll never get

this chance again

This rumble from

[indistinct]

Rising from the empty ground



Undercover [indistinct]

I'm moving high above it all



You'll never tie me down

I wake up

as I hit the ground

Don't break my fall

I'll lose it all

Your touch enough

To bring me out

[muffled rock music plays]

-[rock music stops]

-I'm not turning it down.

Uh, no, I...

actually want to collaborate.

If you're still talking to me.

I'm sorry.

[indistinct lyrics]

All right.

-Cool.

-Yeah.

All right,

I'll write what we can say,

but the music part,

I'll let you take that over.

Good. Yeah.

Uh, we could say, you know,

that they can't have each other

even though, you know,

they deserve each other.

Oh, Max, this is so good.

It's like when pop songs

have a really good beat,

but then

you listen to the lyrics.

We need the decorations, right?

And we have to get the stage.

-[indistinct]

-Yeah.

Break me out

Don't break my fall

I'll lose it all

Your touch enough

To bring me out

Oh, oh, oh

Just bring me out

Yeah, yeah, yeah

Oh, oh, oh-oh, oh-oh

Oh

[music fades]

Hello.

-Hi, Mom.

-Hey. Take a seat.

Okay.

-Hey.

-[Eric] Hi.

Dad, take a seat.

All right.

This is the story of a couple,

Jen and Derek,

who have everything

except for each other.

By the end of today,

they won't be a couple anymore.

Just can't figure out

how to live together.

[electric guitar riff plays]

[Max singing]

Father and mother

Can't be together

Ready?

Friends, therapists,

students all say

You just can't change today

Today,

just can't change today

No way

-[singing fading]

-[emotional music building]

[muffled]

...not stay together

No matter the day,

no matter the weather



When one moment

might have changed everything.

When one moment might have

made sense of the ring.

[emotional music continues]



Well, that was, uh...

That was...

It was...

What was that? [chuckles]

[footsteps approaching]

M-- Mom?

[sentimental music plays]

Dad?



[music swelling]



[music intensifies]

[music stops]

[alarm beeping]

Sorry.

I thought I was off.

We ought to do these

sibling camp outs more often.

Yeah, once in a while.

We don't want it

to lose its specialness.

Hey, we should probably

return these, right?

[uplifting music plays]



I'll see you at dinner.

Did he suspect anything?

Right, like, uh,

did this clock reset

the same day 86 times

before it exploded?

I don't know. Did he?

Hey, good morning.

What are you guys

doing down here?

Um, we were just, uh,

-helping Taylor clean up.

-Mm-hmm.

Such a bummer about the clock.

It just broke.

Come on, guys, let's go.

Come on, Barack,

I saved you a shotgun.



[Jen] Taylor, come on!

We're late for school.

[Eric] So, about tonight...

[Jen] [indistinct]

[Emma] [indistinct]

[Jen] No, [indistinct].



[rock music plays]

Oh, oh, oh

It's time to go

Oh, oh, oh

It's time to go

[music stops]

[suspenseful music plays]