♪ Seven billion
people in the world
♪ You and I are just two
♪ Seven thousand million people
♪ Two of them are me and you
♪ Who are you looking at
♪ Whenever you look at me?
♪ What do I look like
when you see who you see?
♪ Who am I looking at when
my eyes look your way?
♪ Who is it that
I'm speaking to
♪ When I call out
in order to say?
Hello? I just got
to the hotel room.
Well, get over here, man.
I was gonna go see
my sisters tonight
and come see you tomorrow.
Oh, really? We, um...
sh*t. He... he's coming.
He's coming tomorrow,
not tonight.
- Why?
- It's OK. Yeah.
I should have clarified that.
Vanessa was planning
on making dinner.
I should have clarified.
Uh, the baby is
waiting to meet you.
I'm waiting to meet the baby.
She's so f*cking
awesome. You'll see.
She's gonna blow your mind.
- Uh, OK. What time tomorrow?
- Um, three?
Is three good for tomorrow?
- Four?
- Four?
Five? Four is fine.
- Five?
- Four is perfect.
- Four it is.
- OK, see you at four.
- Tell Rachel and Maggie hello.
- I will.
All right, dude.
Hello.
- Hi.
- Where are you?
- The hotel room.
- Aren't you coming over here?
No, I was gonna go to Scott's
to see his baby today
and see you tomorrow.
OK. Did you tell Maggie this?
I texted Maggie,
like, three times
but she hasn't
gotten back to me.
I think it's some
kind of digital detox.
She's not using her
phone at the moment.
She was just assuming
you were coming here
so she was gonna show up
at the house if she could.
You should have
told me your plan.
I thought I did.
What does that mean,
she's not using her phone?
Hey, does Dennis
still work here?
- What?
- Is Dennis here?
You gotta speak up, man.
The music's too loud.
- Dennis. Does Dennis work here?
- Who has it?
No. I'm looking for Dennis.
- Dennis, hi.
- Eric.
I saw the light was on so I
thought you weren't asleep.
I would have called, but I
don't have your number anymore.
I got a new phone and
I couldn't figure out
how to get all my
old contacts onto it.
- OK.
- Yeah, uh...
I did leave a message on
your Instagram yesterday.
Hmm, I didn't see the message.
It said that the
message was read,
but maybe you just
skimmed over it.
So you're visiting?
Just for the weekend.
Scott had a baby.
- I'm here to see Scott's baby.
- Who... who's Scott?
- Scott. You don't know Scott?
- Who is he?
I thought you knew him.
Anyway, I came to
town to see his baby,
and I thought I'd
check in with you.
What are you up
to tonight? Busy?
I'm just chilling. Watching
this... documentary.
- Still play poker?
- Not... not very often, no.
Over at Josh's house?
Speaking of babies, Josh
just had a baby, so that's...
You guys play any
spontaneous games anymore?
Could we make that materialize
if you told him I'm in
town and we want to play?
I'm halfway through
the documentary.
After the documentary.
I plan on going to sleep
after the documentary, Eric.
You don't think you'll
get a second wind?
No, not tonight, Eric. No.
What about a game
tomorrow night?
I'll ask Josh
if he's interested.
That'd be fun, wouldn't it?
Thank you.
Hey.
- Hey.
- Where's Maggie?
Uh, she's meeting
us at the diner.
Aren't we running late?
I thought we said
breakfast at ten.
- It's ten now.
- We're not late.
- Hey.
- Hey.
That's still how you hug people?
Why don't you hug me like you
haven't seen me for three years?
So how was your flight?
Did you watch any
in-flight entertainment?
They didn't have any
movies on the plane.
Oh, bummer.
You look good. When
did you dye your hair?
A year ago.
Oh. OK. I didn't... I
didn't really know that.
Well, you would have,
if we'd ever Skyped or
FaceTimed or whatever.
I dyed it the day
after Rosie died.
Oh, good old Rosie. So it
was like a symbolic thing?
No, I just did it.
I didn't think it
meant anything.
I think I just needed
something to do that day.
No, I just meant it
could easily be construed
as a symbolic gesture.
- You know, mourning or whatever.
- Hmm.
Well, she was Mom's
dog, not mine.
I wasn't even that
sad when she died.
In fact, I was pretty
f*cking happy about it.
Well, I liked Rosie.
Well, you
never lived with her.
Never saw her staring at you
with her beady little soulless
eyes from her doggie bed
like your only worth in life
was being her food dispenser.
But I guess being her inheritor,
it was my cross to
bear and mine alone.
Is Nathan
coming to breakfast?
I told you, like, the
same week that it happened
that Nathan and I broke up.
I remember the last time
you broke up, a year ago,
but you got back together.
And then we broke
up three months ago
and I told you the same
week that it happened.
- I don't think you did.
- I did.
But we didn't talk
about it in detail
because I didn't feel like it.
I said, "Nathan and I broke
up but please, let's move on."
- You want to talk about it now?
- Not really, no.
- Is that her?
- No.
No.
Hello.
- Hi.
- Hey.
Where were you last night?
I had to go to Scott's
to see his baby.
I thought you were
coming over to the house.
I think there was a
mix-up in communication.
Well, how was it
seeing Scott's baby?
It was nice. It's
a beautiful baby.
Her name is Sofia.
Why are you
even staying in a hotel?
You know, I thought tonight
we would all sleep at
the house together.
What gave you that idea?
I guess it's just sort of
what I wanted to happen.
I get a good rate
because I travel so much.
And I like hotel rooms.
Why do I feel guilty about
how I organized this trip?
Neither of you have ever
come to visit me in Portland.
- I am planning on visiting you.
- When?
I don't know. Maybe I'll
do a whole big trip.
- What about, like, next month?
- What about school?
- I quit school.
- What? When did that happen?
I started to feel
like I was in the wrong place.
So I stopped.
I can't believe you quit
college without telling me.
Why wouldn't you call me?
I didn't
want to bother you.
Whoa, she's still here.
Oh, that sweet and
beautiful lady.
God chooses precious few to
rock legs like that at her age.
Yeah, if those legs stepped
into a liquor store,
you'd ask them for their ID.
If you see your sister
with a body like
that in 40 years,
know that even if her life
appeared to be a
total waste of time,
in her heart, she's
a woman satisfied.
Hey, are those legs on the menu?
Oh, here they are. I see them.
They're under signature
classics. Hot old-woman legs.
Hmm. I was gonna get
the double blueberry
pancakes, my usual, but...
those hot old-woman legs
seem to be calling my name.
So you're going to eat her legs?
Yeah, with
the fresh coleslaw.
You want them to saw her legs
off and then cook them for you?
I'm not sure how they do it.
Just whatever they do for
the signature classics here.
Oh, it says here I can have
my choice of fresh coleslaw,
side garden salad, or rice
pilaf if I get the legs.
I do like the coleslaw here.
How far are you gonna take this?
Are you saying that those legs
don't look absolutely delicious?
That's just how I like my
hot old-woman legs to look.
Yummy, yummy.
You like them
to look like a meatloaf
drenched in wet
poop. That's cool.
So what is on our
schedule today?
Whatever you
want, but at four,
I'm going back to Scott's house,
and then tonight, I'm
meeting up with Dennis.
- Who's Dennis?
- He's an old friend.
What about tomorrow?
My flight
is in the morning.
Well, that only gives us, like,
five hours to be together today.
Yeah, I told you it was
going to be a fast trip.
So what
can I get for you?
I guess I'll just get your
famous triple berry crêpes.
And I'll get the French toast
with whipped cream on top.
Double blueberry
pancakes and hash browns.
Double blueberry
and hash. Great.
We've been downstairs waiting
for you for 20 minutes.
Why, what's going on?
- She's making Bloody Marys.
- It's, like, two o'clock.
OK. Should I stop her?
Well, I don't know. Is
she, like, an alcoholic now?
What? No. Maybe. I don't know.
Hey, I really wish that
you would have told me
about quitting college.
I just wasn't thriving
in that atmosphere.
The professors were
suffocating my originality.
The very strict policy
that I attend class
and pay attention to
the subject at hand.
- Is that a joke?
- Yes.
- It's really not funny.
- OK.
But seriously,
doesn't Rachel
seem a little off to you?
She seems like
her normal self to me.
She did say a few weeks
ago that she's depressed.
OK, well, I've never
seen her depressed.
What are
you talking about?
She was super-depressed
when Mom died.
Wasn't that just,
like, normal grief?
Well, I don't think she's
ever really processed it.
Not, like, completely.
None of us have.
Well, it's...
It's been four and a half years.
Five.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
We don't ever talk about Mom.
OK, so that's why
Rachel is depressed?
Maybe it's more
to do with Nathan.
Yeah, so what happened there?
You mean with Stephanie?
Stephanie, his ex-girlfriend
from high school?
Oh. She didn't tell you.
She probably doesn't
want you to know.
- You basically just told me.
- Yeah. Yeah, I guess so.
♪ It's a big old world
♪ With a lot of people
♪ It's a big old city
♪ With a lot of things
♪ You're a busy woman
♪ You're a busy man
♪ If I get in your way
♪ Go around me, buddy
♪ Go around me, buddy
♪ Go around me
♪ Go around me, buddy
♪ If I'm in the way
Eric...
You're here for
half an hour more?
My legs are getting tired.
Nice. Thank you.
♪ How many things
do you have to do?
♪ How many things
are so brand new?
♪ How many people
do you have to meet?
♪ How many minutes do
you have to breathe?
♪ Time is ticking!
♪ The sun is sinking!
♪ You have a lot on your mind!
Tink, tink!
♪ All you want to do is unwind!
♪ Am I standing in your place?
♪ Am I running in your race?
♪ Am I walking your walk?
- ♪ Am I ticking off your clock?
♪ Go around me, buddy
♪ If I'm in the way
♪ Oh!
♪ Oh!
♪ Am I the one
ruining your day?
♪ Oh, am I the one
making your clouds gray?
♪ Oh, pardon me if I
walk right into you
♪ Pardon me and
go right through
Tap dance!
We never had tap shoes,
yet we still decided to do this.
Oh.
Hey, I thought we
retired "Go Around Me, Buddy".
- Why would you think that?
- Uh, I don't know.
I guess I assumed our
days as a wannabe trio
of singer-songwriters and
child performance artists
were long behind us.
No way.
When was the last time
we actually brought
out the old songbook?
Christmas.
Eight years ago. Like, a
month before Eric left home.
I wish you could
stay for dinner.
You know, I had a
whole plan laid out.
- Sorry about that.
- Oh, it's OK.
Who's this Dennis guy you're
hanging out with tonight?
- You never met Dennis?
- No.
How are your sisters doing?
Yeah, you know. Rachel
is living on her own now.
She's the one who wanted to keep
the house after our mom died.
Is she still working
for the, uh...?
Radio station. Yeah. Maggie...
Maggie went to college
for almost a year
and then she just suddenly
quit, out of nowhere.
Why?
Like, she just follows her
feelings and that's it.
Well, that's it for me.
Good to see you again, Eric.
- Have a safe trip home.
- Thanks. Good game.
- Goodnight, everyone.
- Bye.
All in?
I don't have a great hand,
but I do have something.
Straight draw?
- No.
- Tens?
- No.
- Oh.
You know, I think you've
been bluffing all night
and you're bluffing now.
I'm not bluffing, I promise you.
But you do what
you want, I'm good.
- So you want me to call you?
- Either way is good for me.
Well, this is probably idiotic,
but, um... yeah, f*ck it, call.
Yeah. I thought so.
Why did you... What?
Why are you calling
my bet on the flop?
You thought your
sevens were ahead
after this giant bet I made?
I don't know,
man. It was...
It was stupid.
- Dude. Nice!
- sh*t.
- OK.
- All right, yeah.
- f*cking A.
- Nice.
Wow. Well, I... Hey.
- I'm... I'm really sorry, man.
- That was...
That did not happen.
That was a good
game. It's just luck.
It doesn't make any sense.
Why did you call
my bet on the flop?
I had the sevens and
then I had the feeling
that you were bluffing.
Because I wanted you to
think I was bluffing.
Well, it worked,
and I got lucky.
That's a bad call.
You're not supposed to
make the all-in call.
Josh does stupid sh*t
like that all the time.
It usually works out for him.
OK.
Tough break, bro.
Sorry about that.
Why was he even in that hand?
With a three and a seven?
Why did he even call
my pre-flop raise?
You placed
third and cashed out.
I never get a
chance to cash out.
You should be happy.
Can we play again
when you're done?
Uh, you know what, man?
We really can't tonight.
I told my wife it
wouldn't be too late.
- Can we play again tomorrow?
- Aren't you leaving tomorrow?
I'll change my flight. I have
elite status with the airline,
so I don't have to worry
about rebooking fees.
Man, you... you're just on tilt.
Yeah, maybe just, you
know, take a moment.
Relax. Rethink it.
Go back to the hotel,
and if you think you
still want to stay,
we can all come
and talk about it.
Do I look like I'm not calm?
You're not even
a little bit upset?
This is just me
knowing that I can win
and wanting to play again.
I don't care about the money.
I just don't have to
pay rebooking fees,
so it's easy for me to stay.
I'd be willing to play
again if everybody else is.
- Is Maggie here?
- Yeah, she is. Um...
- Can I talk to her?
- OK.
I just opened the door
and there's a man outside
coming up the steps.
He says he's here for you.
Who was that?
Just someone my roommate
is sleeping with.
Eric!
This is the best.
Why did you stay?
I just re-thought it
and I just decided
that we didn't have enough time,
so I changed my
flight to tomorrow.
I wanted to surprise you.
I'm surprised.
Hey.
OK...
I
thought you were gone.
Hmm?
I thought
you were gone.
- I'm sorry.
- It's OK. I'm just...
- really happy you're here.
- Yeah.
Well, I'm going to...
call into work and
get the day off.
Still working at that café?
Yes. Gonna quit soon anyways.
Did you tell Rachel
you're still here?
No. I thought we could go to
the house and surprise her.
Perfect.
Oh, and, um...
This is the kitchen. You haven't
seen my place yet. So, um...
Yeah, no. This is, uh...
This is the kitchen.
Living room.
I can show you my
upstairs if you want.
- It's a really nice kitchen.
- It is, isn't it?
It's just the
two of you, right?
Yeah, it's
just two of us.
Her car's not here.
You wanna text her and
see where she's at?
Let's just see
if she comes back soon.
Play a disco song.
Shh.
Oh. I lost my place.
Play a Bee Gees song.
Play "More Than a
Woman" by the Bee Gees.
Show some respect for
your musical ancestry.
Show some respect, Maggie.
Disco...
A lot of people
think disco is dead.
But the only thing dead is their
ability to dance to great music.
I wanna ask you some
tough questions.
Some hard-hitting questions now.
What will you do with your
life now you've quit college
and thrown it all away?
How will you ever
pick up the pieces?
- I have a lot of ideas.
- Like what?
A friend of mine said I could
come work with him in Utah.
Southern Utah, in the desert.
He's a river-rafting guide,
so he'd teach me how
to raft down a river
and I can become a guide.
You know, for the tourists
that come into town.
- Have you ever rafted before?
- No.
And who's this friend of yours?
Well, he's more of a
friend of a friend.
Never talked to him in person,
but we've chatted online.
Hmm... I don't like it.
It's as bad an idea
as quitting college.
Even worse.
We came here for nothing.
Complete waste of our time.
What do you want to do now?
- What about the zoo?
- What about the zoo?
- We could go there.
- Why?
- You love the zoo.
- I loved it when I was 12.
I'd be willing to go to
the zoo if you really want to.
Forget it. It
was just a stupid idea.
"Hello,
emu, how are you?
What are things you like to do?
I like to eat big giant bugs.
I like eating slimy slugs.
I like to chase the bees.
I like to pee on trees.
Emu, emu. That is I.
Sadly I cannot fly.
Emu, emu. E-M-U.
I am me and you are you."
Written and first performed
in this very zoo
many, many years ago.
It's a masterpiece, really.
- One for the books, I'd say.
- Well, how can it be denied?
at the top of the tree
and hang out in
that tree all day
and just munch on bamboo.
They don't have a lot of
predators in the wild,
so their lives are pretty quiet
and they don't have a lot
of things to worry about
when they're out there.
These guys live in
Nepal and in India,
Bhutan, Myanmar and China.
Their main food
source is bamboo.
That's one of the reasons
they're endangered
because those forests
are being cut down.
Jude will eat little treats.
Why would you just wander off
without telling us
where you're going,
especially when you're doing
some kind of digital detox
and you don't have
a phone with you?
Why would you do that?
- Maybe she had a panic attack.
- Does Maggie have panic attacks?
I thought you talked to
her on the phone sometimes.
Yeah, but she
never told me that.
Why is she having panic attacks?
Just normal anxiety.
Do you not...
- have panic attacks?
- No.
Well, since you don't
keep up on the books,
both of your sisters
have panic attacks,
your mother had panic attacks,
maybe even your father
had panic attacks,
although nobody would know that
because he never confessed
to any other living soul
about what was going on
inside his mind or body.
So consider yourself lucky
to have skipped the genetic
chopping block on that one.
You running out of time? You
need to go see your friends?
I have about two hours.
Thank you, Eric, for sacrificing
so much of yourself
to us this weekend.
It's very kind of you.
But next time, if
there is a next time,
you know, another three
years from now or whatever,
would you consider sacrificing
maybe even more of yourself
and spend, like, actual
full days with Maggie?
Like, you come here
and you feed us
minutes and hours at your will,
like giving tiny breadcrumbs
to starving mice,
and it breaks her little heart.
She thinks she needs
you for some reason.
When did this start?
You being like this?
- Being like what?
- Mean.
Haven't I always been like this?
No. You've been funny and witty
and cynical about the world,
but you've never been cruel,
this bitter, not like this.
Maybe I've just been jaded
by age and experience.
Because of what
happened with Nathan?
f*cking seriously?
That is the kind of math
that goes through your head?
Bitter-and-mean woman equals
must-be-scorned-by-cheating-
ex-boyfriend woman? f*ck off.
For what it's worth, I'm
sorry that happened to you.
I didn't know Nathan
was that kind of person.
Yeah, I know you liked him,
so sorry you don't get to
hang out with him anymore.
We can track him down
and I'll beat the sh*t
out of him if you want.
Like you could.
You don't think I would win
in a fight against Nathan?
You sure
you're feeling OK?
Yeah.
Can we just stay here for
a couple more minutes?
Of course.
Do you want water,
candy, soda or something?
No.
How about a little of the old
"Looking At You Looking At Me"?
Maybe "Bathtub Blues"?
"I've Got Rainbows On My Mind"?
Would that make you feel better?
♪ Rainbows
♪ I've got rainbows on my mind
♪ Shimmering,
glorious, colorful
♪ Glittering, stunning rainbows
♪ Oh, yeah
♪ The rain has come
♪ The rain has gone
♪ The clouds say goodbye
♪ And the sun says hello
♪ Where is that? What is that?
♪ How did that get made?
♪ I've got rainbows on my mind
♪ Shimmering,
glorious, colorful
♪ Glittering, stunning rainbows
♪ Oh, yeah
♪ I have rainbows
♪ On my mind
♪ Hmm
- Here's to the big winner.
- Thank you. Thank you.
- Well played.
- Elite status.
You deserve it.
Yeah, I mean, I couldn't
in my conscience leave
without seeing if I could win
against you all in a tournament.
You're a great player, for sure.
Probably better than any of us.
You think he's as
good as Christina?
- Hmm. That's a tough one.
- Who's Christina?
She's our best player. She
beats us most of the time.
I mean, she usually
slaughters us.
She was out of
town this weekend.
I'd like to see if you
could beat Christina.
She's amazingly good.
Next time you're in town,
let's make it happen.
- Yeah, thanks. Good game.
- Yeah. You too.
When is Christina back in town?
Um, she's just
visiting her parents.
I think tomorrow morning.
Bye.
One hundred and ten years
standing here strong and sturdy.
But there's nothing now
that can keep this tree
alive another year.
I used to
walk by the hill
on my way to school every day
and I just loved
looking up at the tree.
Mary isn't the only
one who loves the tree.
There's a growing number
of local residents
who are bonding over
their recollections
of how much the tree has
meant to them over the years,
and the emotion in
some of their voices
hints at what it might feel like
when the tree is finally
ripped out of the ground
and is gone forever,
once and for all.
Oh, yeah. I think this section,
we don't use because
it's too sentimental.
There's nothing wrong
with sentimentality.
Hmm.
I prefer no sentimentality.
But seriously,
just imagine it
without this section.
Everything flows much better.
What if we just trim it?
What if I cut it right
over here, right in half?
Cut
the whole thing, please.
I'd really prefer that.
Why do you keep doing that?
I'm sorry. Sorry.
But... guilty as charged.
Cut it from here.
Whoo.
Hey, Eric, do you
know about the party
I'm having at my
house tomorrow night?
You should definitely come.
Eric might be leaving tomorrow.
Are you actually
leaving this time?
It's hard to predict. I'm, like,
waiting for some phone calls.
Your turn, Eric. You need
to get a strike, like, right now
if you have any chance
to catch up to Amanda.
Well... Oh. Yeah, sorry.
This is one of those calls
I've been waiting for.
I have to take this.
It's important.
- What about your turn?
- Yeah, there's nothing I can do.
Just use my frames for practice.
Yeah?
Yeah?
Please say you're joking.
OK. When did this occur?
So Maggie says
you work at WBSR?
Yeah, and we're forced to do
these stupid fluff
pieces, you know.
Nothing really human.
Nothing that means anything.
"Child gets trapped
in washing machine.
Man masturbates in a McDonald's.
Child brings giant snake
to school, snake escapes.
Kindergarten class
is scarred for life."
"Folks, have we got
a story for you.
Oh, yes! Big story! Earthquake!
A baby fell out of a building
during the earthquake!
A local man caught the baby
before it hit the ground!
Amazing! What a hero! Full story
after the commercial break."
Why does Rachel hate me?
- She doesn't hate you.
- Yeah, well, why does she?
- I said she doesn't hate you.
- Yeah.
She's nice to everybody
else except for me.
Well?
I'll miss you.
Earlier when we
were with everybody
and I did the, uh, radio voice
about the earthquake and
the baby, you didn't laugh.
Nobody else did either.
Was it because of my delivery?
I don't know.
Or was it in comparison
with what Rachel was saying?
Maybe.
You used to think I was the
funniest person in the world.
You're really not going
to stay another night?
Probably not.
I think I was, like, six.
My mom was cooking dinner
and she sliced her
finger open with a knife.
I saw all the blood and I
saw how freaked out she was.
Like, there was a real
look of terror on her face.
Her finger was
dangling the wrong way.
She went to the hospital,
she got it stitched up,
but I totally thought she was
gonna die while she was there.
- Good hand.
- Thank you.
And what
about you, Eric?
First time you realized that
death exists and people die.
That's what
we're talking about?
Yeah.
Um...
I remember... there was this
father and son I once knew.
And, uh, the father was, like,
pretty high up in status,
like, he had most of the
power in their community.
And the father was
planning on the son
taking over for
him, for the father,
like, taking over what you
could call the family business.
But the son's uncle,
the father's brother,
he wanted the power.
He was jealous and
mean, the uncle, and...
so the evil uncle made a trap
cornering the father in this,
like, canyon, in a canyon,
where there was a
stampede of antelope.
- Antelope?
- Yeah.
Like, very strong
antelope or strong deer.
I don't know. But animals
that look like antelope,
and the father was
trapped and he was hurt,
and he tried to climb
up the canyon wall.
But the uncle was there.
Uh, he didn't let
the father climb up.
He, uh... And the father fell.
He fell back down
into the canyon.
And, um...
He, uh... That's how he died.
And the son, he went down
there wondering what happened,
and he found his father dead.
The son was so sad, he
was trying to understand
what happened to his father.
And understand why his
father wasn't moving.
Um, and his father
was indeed dead.
And that was the
first time I realized
that sometimes, lions die.
Oh, my God,
Eric, you're crazy.
Ooh!
Wait. I... I don't get it.
What's going on? What?
The son that found the
father dead, that was Simba
from The Lion King.
Like, the Disney movie?
- Yeah.
- All right. OK, I get it.
Like, you got us, man. You
got us pretty good there.
That's really the first time
you realized people die?
Yeah, that tore me
apart, that scene.
Basically traumatized me.
I guess you could say
it scarred me for life.
Scar is the name
of the evil uncle.
Eric was scarred for life.
- I got you. All right.
- Yeah.
- Why were you crying?
- I was trying to sell it to you.
I was trying to sell
the story to you.
Well, you sold
it. I almost cried too.
- Hilarious.
- Wow.
Eric, I don't think
you'd do half bad
in another game I play in.
It's a bigger game.
Cash game, good players.
Three times a week, and
there's a game tomorrow night.
I probably play twice a month,
if I feel like I can afford it.
What's the buy-in?
I don't think it'd be wise
to start with anything
less than a hundred.
But you're better off
with, like, two or three.
I should be going home, finally.
But that's tempting, for sure.
All right. If you
change your mind,
Megan's got my number.
- Bye, Megan.
- All right, Megan.
Thanks for coming.
Hi. Just checking
out of 426. Thanks.
Hello?
Knock-knock.
Is Moopie-Moopie home?
Hello? Moopie-Moopie?
Are you home?
Yes.
Do you
know who this is?
Yes.
- Who is it?
- It's Wug-Wug.
Yes.
It is me, Wug-Wug. Good
morning to you, Moopie-Moopie.
Good morning, Wug-Wug.
I have not
seen you in long time.
Whoosh.
Oh.
Do you
want to get a coffee?
Maggie?
Where did Moopie-Moopie go?
Moopie-Moopie crawled back
inside her warm
little hiding place.
She is very tired.
If there's any chance of
her coming back out to play,
she needs a 16-ounce coffee
and perhaps a delicious
pastry of some sort.
Where did Charles go?
- Charles went home.
- Oh, did he?
Hm-hmm.
Charles went home because
he doesn't want to play.
But Charles said he
was going home before,
and he didn't do it.
Well, I think this time,
Charles has left us far behind.
Sorry about that but, you
know, Charles is an adult.
Charles can do what he wants.
Are you totally
sure he went home?
Yes.
Knock-knock. Anybody home?
Wug-Wug? Are you
there? Moopie-Moopie?
It's me, Charles. Hello.
- Oh. Hello, Charles.
- Hello, Wug-Wug.
Moopie-Moopie said
you went home.
No, I'm still here.
Hello, Moopie-Moopie.
Darling, why, I...
What's wrong with Moopie-Moopie?
She said she crawled back inside
her warm little hiding place.
Oh, my.
Hey, Moopie-Moopie.
Can Charles stay over?
He brought his bag with him.
Charles can do
whatever he wants.
Oh, good!
Ta. Thanks.
Rather good. Ha!
Lovely. Very fine.
Rather. Well.
Jolly good.
Can you do that another time?
This is the day when I do it.
But you don't have to
vacuum in here, do you?
I always vacuum in here.
Why? How does it
even get dirty?
I just like to do it anyway.
Well, how about this
time, you skip it?
I'd rather not.
How about you leave
the vacuum there,
and I'll do it when I can?
How do I know you'll
actually do it?
You know what?
Why don't you go ahead
and f*cking do it
if that's what you
really want to do?
I do.
How's this? Is this
how you like it?
Is this clean enough for you?
Oh, is this good? Is this good?
You don't have to be
this way toward me.
I just like a clean house.
- No, you're f*cking eating me!
- I'm eating you?
Yeah, you're doing it to eat me!
It's my house.
I can vacuum my house how
I want to vacuum my house.
Yeah, I know
it's your house.
You're making that
very, very clear.
I was the one
who was left alone
to figure out how to get
a f*cking mortgage on it.
- Yes, I f*cking know!
- Pay the taxes.
- You hate me for it!
- No!
It's the other way around.
- What do you mean?
- The other way around.
The other way around.
- You hate me for it.
- Not true!
Yes, true!
- No!
- You don't like me for it. Yes!
You don't...
You do not like me for it.
You do not like me as a person.
Hey.
What's going on, man? Welcome.
- How much d'you want in?
- I'll start with 200.
Two hundred?
What do you have?
- I have a hand.
- Yeah?
- Any good?
- I think it's good.
Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.
Hmm.
Yeah, I have a hand, but I
don't have the nuts or anything.
Yeah.
You paired up? You have a king?
Maybe.
Yeah. You're probably
ahead of me at the moment.
Do you want me to call you?
If you have a
king, no. But, uh...
I can't tell if he's lying.
I don't know who this guy is.
I'm not lying, I swear. Do
you wanna know what I have?
- Yes.
- I want another club.
- And that's the truth.
- Hmm.
I still think
you're ahead of me,
but, you know, I
want a flush, so...
That's it.
- Really?
- Hm-hmm.
All right, well. Let's just...
We're doing this, so...
All right, well, you're even
more ahead than I thought.
- There you go. Nice one.
- Classic.
- All right, ready?
- Yep.
- f*ck off!
- Hey!
- f*ck.
- Hey.
Yo, Bobby, man, you
had the best hand.
You made the right call.
- I would have called that too.
- Don't say that!
If it had been the right
call, I would have won!
Forget about it, man.
It happens to everybody.
Ooh!
OK.
What?
Hm-hmm.
I think I should... fold?
- What is it?
- Just 50.
Uh-huh.
All right. Just get
it all in there.
Wow.
Wow.
I figured it's the last hand
of the night, so... why not?
No, no, no, no, no.
No. You must have something.
Did you really make a straight?
Did you flop a set?
Hang on. You are ahead of me.
Then why would
you make that bet?
I mean, I could
just walk away now
and be very happy
about what I've won.
That's probably the
smart thing to do.
You did say at the
beginning of the night
that it wasn't about the money.
- You just wanted to play.
- I want to win.
Hmm... I just wanna win.
I wanna win.
That's what I want.
That's what I want.
I think you're just
better than me.
You're just better than I am.
Mmm! Yeah!
Oh! Oh. Sorry.
Oh, man.
I didn't mean to
make that sound.
I've never made
that sound before.
You have every right to
celebrate. You cleaned house.
Yeah, that was close.
Wow, I almost folded.
- Sorry about that.
- No, it was stupid of me.
- I found that call.
- Nice call. Nice call.
- That was so good.
- Hmm.
That was so good.
- Nice call.
- Wow.
What have you been doing, man,
standing out here for two hours?
- About that, yeah.
- OK.
- OK what?
- OK, cool.
- How much you win?
- I don't know.
I...
You look like you're
pretty happy with the night.
I'm just waiting for
the car I called.
Should be here any minute.
Yeah, you're in the
wrong f*cking place, man.
Why are you here?
What do you mean, like, in town?
Like, here.
In front of me.
Taking my money.
That's the game.
That's how it goes.
You're in the
wrong place, man.
What does that mean, exactly?
I have a g*n.
OK.
So look, what do
you think it means?
My car should be
here any minute.
Then you better hurry up.
How about I give you back
the money you came with?
I'm not the one
who sat down at the table
at the beginning of the night
and said that money
doesn't matter.
I only meant that winning
is my ultimate priority.
Money definitely matters,
of course it does.
It's like the...
You know... What...
You can't even... It
doesn't even... It...
Huh?
Take... You know, it's
not... Like, every...
You don't... You can't even...
It's like running the world.
And... anyway, I won this
money fair and square,
and it's not fair that you just
want to take it away from me.
- I'm getting very impatient.
- I'm happy to give you half.
Please
take half, sir,
and let's call it
a day, shall we?
Come on, man.
What are
you looking for?
I don't know.
- Can I get you a drink?
- Um...
Vodka?
Yeah, what do you
drink with vodka?
- You could have a vodka soda.
- Great. Fine.
Your sisters are
in the backyard.
Oh. OK.
Do you, like,
not remember me?
- What?
- Amanda.
Yeah. No, of course.
- From bowling.
- I know.
You're, like, a
very good bowler.
Yeah, you're very good.
I don't know what you ended up
with on that last game, but...
One seventy-two.
Yeah. That's serious.
It's very serious.
- Are you OK?
- What do you mean?
Do you wanna go outside?
Yeah, I'll be out
there in a minute.
OK.
There he is. We thought maybe
you'd just never show up.
I just, uh...
I've
just been doing
a bit of the old
painting the town,
seeing my friends,
getting business done.
Uh, Eric, we were talking about
binge-watching The Sopranos.
Have you ever
watched The Sopranos?
All due respect,
you got no f*cking idea what
it's like being Number One.
Every decision you make
affects every facet of
every other f*cking thing.
I'm Tony Soprano. Of course
I've seen my autobiography.
I wrote the thing.
I wrote it by living
my f*cking life!
What is wrong with you?
I got, uh...
I got
robbed at gunpoint tonight.
A man had a g*n. He
took all my money.
That's funny to you?
Who said
it was funny? There was a g*n.
And I lost all my money.
How could that be funny?
Do you think it's funny?
Well, I'm... I'm gonna go
inside. I'll see you soon.
Well, she doesn't
like me very much, does she?
Actually, Eric, she has
a little crush on you
for some sick, demented reason.
Well, I'd tell you to f*ck off,
but I, Charles, do
not use profanity.
Well, Moopie-Moopie
has never even uttered
the word intercourse,
but I'll be happy to
say to you right now,
"f*ck you hard, Charles.
f*ck you right to the moon."
Peek-a-boo!
That's right.
Buster Keaton lover
and classic-movie enthusiast
Randy Roundabout here,
pumped up and absolutely
prepared to deliver
a full decade's worth
of steaming vomit
into your open mouths.
See, I've been
eating tons of cheese
and a whole bunch of spinach
and other rotten greens,
so crank open that
throat passage
and get ready for a powerful
cargo dump of sickly hot puke.
Also, I must take this moment
to opine that the
1926 film The General
is a tour de force of
physical masterwork
by the one and only silent
film movie star Buster Keaton,
whose altar I worship at.
This has been Randy Roundabout
himself, signing off.
The
Hoagie Sandwich Lady is back
after a long hiatus in Florida,
where I've been almost too busy
chilling on the
beach in the day,
eating delicious hoagie
sandwiches in the afternoon,
and partying my a*s off at
night to plot my revenge.
Yet, what have we here?
A bucket full of
my own human hair,
my fingernail and
toenail clippings,
and oh, the blood
of a diseased cow,
and I've blended
it all together.
So now's the time to go ahead
and dunk your head
into the bucket
until you're dead drunk
from the poisonous
chemical reaction
to all the piss and sh*t
and blood and sh*t and
puke and skin and blood.
No matter
how many shits I have to sh*t,
how many f*ck I have to f*ck,
victory shall bear
only one name,
and that glorious name
shall be Randy Roundabout.
Buster Keaton lover
and overall classic-movie
enthusiast Randy Roundabout.
Hello,
this Wug-Wug.
Would it be possible to
please stop fighting?
You're hurting my little ears.
He will never give up
because he cannot accept defeat.
If you think about
it hard enough,
it's the very reason
why you exist, Wug-Wug.
And why I do. Moopie-Moopie.
I was born because
Charles thought
he was the smartest man
on the face of the earth.
You and I, Wug-Wug, we
brought ourselves forth
to show him that there were
other flavors in the universe,
that it wasn't all Charleses
and Randy Roundabouts.
That there were other creatures
even more awesome
and more hilarious
than that which existed in
his limited imagination.
Speaking of limited,
Moopie-Moopie's story
is simply very one-sided
and... and not very true.
'Tis Moopie-Moopie who decided
that she was more awesome and
hilarious than anybody else,
and it was she who decided
to make you, Wug-Wug, know
that she was that
much more awesome
and hilarious than me, Charles.
Hey,
this is Tina from the Valley.
We're at a party right now,
so maybe we should just party.
Please?
Oh, wow, this is, like, a
furry blanket, isn't it?
- It's so furry.
- Yeah, I like it.
- That's why I bought it.
- Yeah. What is it, sheep?
I think it's fake.
It's incredible.
I think I'm gonna
go back downstairs.
What am I doing here?
Are you asking yourself that
question, or are you asking me?
If you have an answer,
I'd love to hear.
♪ I'm looking at you, looking at me
♪ You're simply very
much who I like to see
♪ I'm looking at
you looking at me
♪ You're exactly looking like
Hmm?
Should I go make sure she
gets into the bed all right?
Yeah.
Good night.
Hey. You asleep?
Hmm.
I just wanted to say goodbye,
in case you're not awake
when I leave in the morning.
Thank you.
Yeah, OK. Well...
- Mom loved you.
- What?
Well, I just wanted to say it
was good to see you, and...
I'm definitely leaving
in the morning, so...
Mom loved you.
- I know that.
- She loved you a lot.
I know that. Yeah.
She even thought you were funny.
- Thanks. That's...
- I'm being serious.
I'm taking off pretty
early in the morning, so...
Do you think about me sometimes?
Yeah, of course I
think about you sometimes.
Do you really?
Do you think I don't love you?
- Yeah.
- Yeah what?
Huh?
Yeah, you think I don't love you
or yeah, you think I love you?
I don't know. I think you
loved me a long time ago.
Come on. You know I do.
- You never say it.
- I do. I do.
Now what?
I love you so much.
Even if I'm not here.
I could never stop loving you.
That's just not
even a possibility.
Where's Eric?
- I think he's still asleep.
- Hmm.
Isn't he going to be
late for his flight?
When is it?
- It's in an hour, I think.
- Oh.
His alarm must
have not gone off.
Welcome to our World! Where we serve you cookies to ensure you get the best viewing experience on our site.
Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?
Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register
Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?
Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register
Adults, The (2023)
Moderators: Maskath3, GabrielAlejo2341, sidolanters, Maskath3, sidolanters, GabrielAlejo2341