01x05 - Sex Drive

[bunniefuu]

Mmm, yeah.

Welcome.

You must be the one I've been waiting for.

This one's on the house.

That means it's on me.

But I ain't offering that...

Not yet, anyway.

They say that romance has become a lost art.

But art only gets lost when it becomes hard work.

Now a days machines do all the work.

That makes men lazy.

Could it be romance is dead because it's too much work

not to be primitive?

Too bad machines can't do the work of romance.

But can anyone love a machine?

Let me tell you about a very special girl who found out.

Sunset...

The good people of the world flee the city.

As the darkness of night descends

and the spiritually wounded come out to play.

Anybody here interested in the real thing?

Guaranteed 100% natural.

How about some real fun, jockey?

Nah, my wife could smell you a mile away.

She don't mind me messing with Sarlene here.

Tell her you made a donation to save an endangered species.

C'mon, I need the cash more than this thing does.

Hmph.

( man moaning )

I can't believe this sh*t.

What the hell's going on?

( sirens )

Nisa, get your butt in here!

Get us some coffee!

Nisa Lolita here, reporting for duty, Sir.

Hey, you're the dicks on the missing hookers case.

Yeah, so?

I think I can help you solve it.

"Solve it"?

"Solve it."

Yeah, sure, honey, take a look.

Take a look at this.

I'll tell you what you can do.

Hey, damn you!

Get back to work and quit bugging us.

She's way overdue for payment.

I think we need to pay her a little visit.

Later, toots.

Later.

Now let's see what they're really up to.

Hey, jockey, come and get it!

The genuine article.

Absolutely nothing.

( crashing sound )

You're late for this month's installment, hook.

Yeah, but we ain't charging you interest.

-Where's the dough? -It's up your a*s!

One more crack like that and I'll take your tongue to the cleaners!

Business has been terrible since the Sexarcana opened.

I can't compete with those virtual girls!

-Filthy dames pay trick tax, -That's Stern's law!

Where is it?

Where is it?!

( Stern ) Let's go, fork it over!

Cough it up, you little b*tch!

( woman ) Leave me alone!

( man ) Tell him where it is, b*tch.

( woman ) There's nothing in here!

( woman ) You as*h*le!

( woman ) Get off me, you big fat a*s!

You c*cksucker!

Ahh!

Nobody does that to me!

It's Stern's law!

( gasps )

( Nisa ) Hey!

-Huh? -Smile!

What the--

Hey! You get back here, you little runt!

( g*nshots )

C'mon, she went this way.

I hereby offer this tape as evidence holding these two men responsible

for the massive wave of prost*tute disappearances

over the last several weeks.

I gotta get this tape to the Commissioner.

( sobbing )

( man singing )

Aah!

( evil laugh )

Yes!

( speaking Japanese )

Beautiful.

( woman screaming )

( man ) Still driving that cab, Nisa?

Not for long, Vinnie. As soon as I get my badge, I'm trading in that taxi.

Nisa, I just got a communique from upstairs.

You're fired.

What? "Fired"?

Your headquarters' access has been permanently blacked out.

You're forbidden to come near this place again starting now!

What about the video tape?!

I know what's been happening to the hookers!

( robot ) No loitering, Please leave the premises immediately.

I won't be driving a cab for the rest of my life.

I'll show them.

( Nisa ) Hey, that's the place.

Back to the scene of the crime.

( man ) I need a ride, baby!

( recording ) The Sexarcana is temporarily closed.

( Nisa ) There she is.

Okay, found my witness, now I need the evidence.

The system's normal tonight, Darlene?

-Y'all wanna come inside tonight? -Very good, Darlene.

Darlene checks out okay.

Now Kimberly.

( computer beeping )

Yeah, Max?

Goldblum, how long are you gonna be f*cking around?

We got that meeting with Otaku in less than an hour.

Listen, Max, you try coming down to this crummy neighborhood

to keep tabs on our product.

Nobody said you had to do the job yourself.

C'mon, Lassie, let's finish up here.

Now, Pocohantas.

You wanna make c*m-c*m, Johnny?

Very good, around, please.

Whoa! Wait, do I know you?

Do you want to?

Hey! Hey, you're real!

As real as they come, honey.

How did you get past the security grid?

Excuse me.

C'mon, Lassie!

-It's all yours, boys. -C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!

( whistling )

Where is that no good hooker? I want my cash.

-Taxi? -Out of the way, idiot!

Where to?

Thank you.

I don't know what happened to my driver.

What do you think you're doing?

-Where to? -Going to M & G head office.

Level one, block "A",

Suite 47-7.

( Goldblum ) How'd you know all that?

I know all about you.

And I wanna know more.

I knew it was in there somewhere.

You're good.

I'm the best.

( Goldblum ) You're really good.

You're a cyborg.

Who needs you?

Give it to me.

Oh, sh*t!

What the hell's going on down there?

( Nisa ) Hey, where do you think you're going?!

I need to talk to you!

( man ) Hey, what the--

Don't worry, buddy, I'll get her.

Who are you, anyway, hmm?

"Goldblum"?

The Goldblum.

Don't you make those girls?

Hey, answer me!

Smile.

Not you guys.

-What did you do to him? -Nothing.

Oh, is that so?

It's all over for you, honey.

Stupid dame!

Stop!

Ow, goddamnit!

Okay, Mr. Goldblum,

M & G head office coming up.

Let's get to the bottom of this.

I bring the new personality constructs.

Brenda's even better than I expected.

She's a star, Otaku! You can't tell her from the real thing.

Virtual Girls II will make America come in droves.

Let's just get those disks copied.

You can expect payment as before.

They're not for sale.

I want to make it a trade.

Otaku, Otaku!

We may render life, but you create them.

Our engineers repeatedly fail to create personality constructs

as realistic as yours!

Our mutual dependency is what makes us strong.

Don't upset the balance now.

I was only to achieve a balance.

If you won't let me have the rendering program,

then make me a partner.

I deserve better than being forced underground.

That's impossible.

You have your secrets, and we have ours.

As far as the public is concerned, you don't exist.

Just Max, Goldblum, and our virtual girls.

( Otaku ) I'll be sending someone over

for the rendering code.

( Otaku ) Someone I think you will find hard to resist.

You've gone mad!

The only copy of the rendering code you'll ever find is up here,

right between the eyeballs.

In that case...

It shouldn't be too hard to find.

Consider it done.

( speaking Japanese )

f*ck' mental case.

Ha, security access.

( computer ) Good evening, Mr. Goldblum.

Goldblum, where the hell are you?!

Damnit, I told that little schmuck--

What?!

How the hell?!

Why don't you come inside, Miss?

Nice gasungies, you got there, lady.

What brings you to M & G?

I've got something for you

and I think you've got something for me.

Wow! Hey!

Whoa, hey.

No, no.

Whoa...!

What the hell is that?!

Help! Security!

Goldblum, where the f*ck are you?!

No...!

( Max ) Goo-goo...

What the hell?!

Do you want some?

I don't know.

Are you sure?

Oh!

That was better than Disneyland.

My tape!

Give me back my tape!

Whoa!

Aah...!

What happened here?

He's a vegetable, Someone drained his brain.

And his partner Goldblum is missing.

"Goldblum", huh? Look familiar, Connelly?

And lookie what else.

Put a trace on that broad's cab.

But how'd she do it?

He won't tell us, but she will.

Geez, why is she coming down here?

Nobody comes down here anymore, nobody sane anyway.

( radio ) Calling all cars,

A.P.P. on taxi driver known as Nisa Lolita.

Those two stupid dicks. I didn't do it!

They're trying to frame me.

C'mon, lady, I need some answers.

And I need that tape back.

Argh...

Okay, policegirl, you gotta do this.

Where are you,

my little seductress?

Where are you hiding?

( gasps )

The vanished hookers.

What kind of evil is this?

Seduction successful, my master.

We shall see.

Yes, yes!

I own them!

Who says you can't read minds?

There it is.

The blood and guts of my girls!

And a first class ticket out of this hole!

The next time you see me,

I will be one of the wealthiest men

in this stinking city!

( Otaku laughing )

What the hell is this?

The hookers!

I just want my--

My tape!

No!

Whoa!

What happened to me?

You're too good to become a virtual girl like the others.

He built you into a mind-sucking sex machine

to go out and steal his dreams for him.

For that he deserves a kiss.

Are you gonna be okay?

I'm in big trouble.

Maybe I'll see you around.

-How can I ever thank you? -Don't, it was my pleasure.

-Hey! -Well, well, well,

looks like we caught us a rat!

Let me go!

Let's see if rats can sing.

I didn't do it, I swear! I have proof!

It's too ingenious a plan for a little runt like yourself.

But you're the only one who knows who did.

I'm going to tell the Commissioner!

You see, me and Connelly here, we can't go on shaking down hookers

the rest of our lives.

These virtual girls, they are the jackpot

and you got a ticket to easy street, honey!

So why don't you just tell us?

Who did it?

( Connelly ) Ugh.

Huh?

I did it.

You pull that trigger, old buddy, and I'll pull yours.

You wanna thank me, virus?

Screw his brains out for me.

Now to get this tape into the right hands.

( radio ) We have the fugitive spotted

And we are in pursuit...

Stern, Connelly, come in, please!

Whoa!

No!

Aah...!

Here's the proof.

( man ) She's done it!

The hooker disappearances.

( man ) She solved the case!

It will only be a matter of hours

Before I can revive the rest of my girls.

( speaking Japanese )

No. No!

It can't be, my girls.

How did they get this way?

That's what they want to know.

What?

( Otaku screaming )

Well, partner, here we are at the top.

The forces of evil don't stand a chance with me and you out there, right, Virus?

What's the matter?

Nobody can love a machine.

Can they?

You look at anybody, anywhere in this town

and tell me where the human ends and the machine begins.

Everybody's so plugged into machines that there's no difference anymore!

Everybody's just like you.

But the metal inside of me,

it feels so cold.

Just wait 'till things heat up around here.

( women laughing )

So which would you rather have?

Hard work, lost hearts, or a well-greased machine?

Pick right, you might win a more... primitive model next time.

So go make up your mind and come back.

'Cause I can do it all.

Variety is the life of spice, I always say.