03x08 - Secret Samta

[bunniefuu]

- [Sam] Get ready for a Game Changer.

Tonight's guests,

one dollar, do I hear one dollar?

One dollar, one dollar, its Grant O'Brien.

- Hi.

Ten dollars, going once, going twice.

Its Ally Beardsley.

A hundred dollars, sold!

It's Lily Du.

And your host,

me!

I've been here the whole time.

This is Game Changer,

the only game show where
the game changes every show.

I'm your host, Sam Reich.

I'm joined today by these
three lovely contestants.

Now you all understand how the game works?

- No.

That's right. Our players
have no idea what game it is

they're about to play.

The only way to learn is by playing.

The only way to win is by learning.

And the only way to begin is by beginning.

So without further ado, let's begin.

Yesterday we delivered to each of you,

a series of gift boxes

that are now behind you.

Ally open up box number one.

- I will open it.

- [Lily] Beautiful matches their shirt.

- [Sam] This is awesome. Oh my God.

- Ribbon dance.

- There will be a card inside.

And I want you to read what
it says, but not out loud.

Read it to yourself.

- Okay. Read it.

- That makes me so nervous.

- They seem okay with it, whatever it was.

- Now Grant and Lily,

you are going to have the
opportunity to steal this.

If you want to, but know this,

it could be a great prize

or a twisted punishment.

In a moment, I'm gonna ask Ally

what it was inside the box, but be warned.

They could be telling the truth

or they could be lying.

Will they employ reverse psychology?

Will they employ
reverse-reverse psychology?

They know what's in the box
they're about to tell us.

will they tell the truth?

And will either of you decide to steal?

- Oh this is exciting.

- I'm just gonna tell you
it's a weighted blanket.

- Does anyone want to steal?

Three, two, one,

go.

[tense music]

- Steal.

[Sam laughing]

- I believe it's a weighted blanket.

So Grant beat me to it.

Show the card in three, two, one.

- [Sam] Congratulations, Grant!

- Woo!

Okay.

- Okay, I see how this is going to be.

This is exciting.

- Grant.

- Sam.

- Would you go find box number two?

- No one roast me while I'm gone.

[Sam laughs manically]

- So the thing about Grant-

- Grant's a really nice guy, isn't he?

- He's so funny and charming.

- So tall.

- Great at making c*ck.

- He's a good friend.

He's sweet.

- [Ally] Yeah he's a person that you can

talk to about anything.

- Bigfoot a*s body.

[Sam laughing]

- [Sam] Let's see.

Tell us, what does the card say?

- This is a

this is a good prize that
I would like to have.

- You're such a b*tch.

- And we're all old friends now.

- This preamble.

- He's doing some Tisch acting.

- So in the box, on the other side

of this card is a massage g*n.

And that's the kind of thing
that I, because you know

I'm trying to get my body back in order.

I think a little bit of
that myofascial release

- Bad liar.

- Does anyone want the steal?

[tense music]

- Steal.

- It was a massage g*n.

[Ally cheering]

[Sam laughing]

- Okay.

- That's a little truth
in comedy for you folks.

- Where do we go from here?

Lily, would you go and
find box number three?

[Sam laughing]

Quiet as we're studying Lily's reactions.

- I will put on a face you cannot read.

- I knew you had a massage g*n.

That was part of why
I knew you were lying.

- I simply don't want to do this.

Do 10 pushups.

- Going up for the steal.

[tense music]

- Steal.

[Sam laughing]

- That was Grant.

[everyone laughing]

- We got that now.

- I have a large sandwich.

Is it okay if I eat it while Grant-

- Yes absolutely. Yeah.

[Sam gasping]

- [Sam] Oh, no.

- [Lily] Jesus Christ.

- Oh f*ck.

- [Grant] Oh, f*ck it's so big.

Wait, I'm going to come right away.

Oh f*ck.

I'm coming.

- [Grant] Oh, f*ck.

Oh f*ck, I think I'm in love with you.

[Sam laughing]

- Worst thing to hear during sex.

- You doing that while
Ally housed a sandwich

was some Twin Peaks sh*t.

- [Sam] Ally would you go
and fetch box number four?

- Now I'm starting to think like, ooh

I bet there's going to be
some stuff that maybe we

don't want, but now we're gonna
have to start lying about.

- Why wouldn't you just
lie all the time for fun.

- That's your philosophy in life.

- Ally, What does the card say?

- Do push ups until you can't anymore.

- That's definitely not what it said.

- Yeah. That isn't, that isn't the case.

[Sam laughing]

- Here's the thing though,

I feel like Grant will just steal whatever

because the punishments aren't that bad

- Punishments aren't that bad, so far.

- So far.

- Lily, we know that that's
not what's on that card, right?

- Yes, no way.

Ally just couldn't think
of something fast enough.

- They would know that we
know that that's not what's

on that card.

- Yeah.

- So is there something
worse than that on that card?

In an effort to try to get us to steal?

[tense music]

- Steal.

[everyone gasping]

Why not?

- [Sam] Ally.

- I was not gonna steal this time.

- Oh no, it's going to be bad.

[Sam laughing]

- Wow we were jerks for no reason.

- I can't believe that.

- Verbatim.

- Da da da da.

Da da da da.

- Pushups are such a standard punishment.

- Hold on, let me get my sandwich ready.

[Sam laughing]

- [Sam] Very nice.

- I can't do many so.

[Grant laughing]

- [Sam] That's some good form.

- What? No, it's not.

- I'm trying to be encouraging.

- Lily you got to pull your elbows in or

your shoulders are gonna get trapped.

- I can't do them like that.

- Well, then you can't do them.

- Hey, that's all I could do.

- How many was that?

- Zero, you didn't do any pushups.

- That was four or five.

- Grant, go ahead and
collect box number five.

- All right. Now, no roasts.

- [Sam] What a handsome man.

- Yeah, like a timeless handsome man.

- [Ally] Grew up in a small town

battled h*m* and
just came out great.

- Snowman a*s proportions.

- [Ally] b*tch a*s.

- [Lily] Yeah.

- Yes, a new set of tires for your car.

- [Sam] Wow.

- Don't own a car.

Pass.

- So specific

and bad.

- No. Maybe Sam's looking out for you guys

cause you guys have old cars.

- Here's what I'll say without
playing into this one way

or the other, you would
probably be scandalized to know

in what bad shape your tires are.

Especially if it's not
something you think about.

- That is true like you really do

have to change your tires
more often than you think.

- And that does fall into
a category of you trying to

brainstorm stuff that we would like.

But we don't necessarily
know that we wanted.

[tense music]

- [Sam] Nobody's stealing

and that means the prize stays with Grant.

Show us what was on-

- Oh, you f*ck.

- I didn't even think that
it might be something else.

- It is in fact,

something that I will
have a lot of fun using.

This'll be delightful.

- I have wanted one of
those for so f*cking long.

- Lily, would you go ahead
and bring open box number six?

- [Grant] I like the way
Lily has the boxes stacked.

- [Ally] Yeah, me too.

- [Grant] It's very satisfying.

- Yeah.

- [Sam] Lily's considering it.

- Pickle of the month club.

- Now that's a repeat.

- That's pitched right at me.

- No, that's a real prize
that Sam likes to give out.

- That is true.

- One of the things that I
talk about most about my days

in New York is The Pickle Guys.

And Lily, I think maybe knows that.

And I think might be trying to
get me to pick those pickles.

[Sam laughing]

- Would anyone like to steal?

[tense music]

- Lily keeps the prize.

It belongs to Lily.

Lily what was on-

[Grant and Ally yelling]

- Oh my desk chair is so battered.

- Do you see what I'm f*cking sitting on?

- I'm sitting on a damn a*s bench.

- This is a Herman Miller desk chair.

- Wow.

- My back is so bad.

I love that.

- Ally, go ahead and
open up box number seven.

- I know at some point it's
going to be something bad.

- [Lily] How bad could a punishment be?

I like what Lily's been doing.

- That does look cool.

- [Lily] Yeah.

- [Ally] Are you guys ready?

Because I'm telling the truth.

- Uh-huh.

- A pair of AirPods.

[Lily laughing]

- [Grant] Get the heck outta here.

Don't believe that that's
what's on the card.

- Have I lied yet?

- [Grant] Ally, you have not lied yet.

I believe that's the case.

- Either it is something
better that they want to keep

or it's a punishment they
want someone else to take.

- Yeah, that's my thinking too.

[tense music]

- Steal, I'll do it.

What's the punishment?

- It's a cute one.

- I love that.

Happy to steal that.

Grant, I've already said this many times

you are genuinely one

of the most unique people I've ever met

but I mean it sincerely

and you have a genuine
passion and interest

in things and it makes you
fun to talk to about anything.

Ally, I like you

so much.

You are so fun.

You have such a excellent oddball taste.

My compliment is I wish I got
to spend more time with you.

[Ally screaming]

- Same.

- Aww.

- Hmm, Sam.

Can't really think of
anything good about Sam.

[everyone laughing]

- Lily we love you.

Lily I wish that I got to
hang out with you more.

You're so f*cking bad-a*s

- May I also say something back to Lily?

- Yes, I'll allow it.

- You've got to pull your arms in

because this way you'll
blow out your shoulders.

This there's so much
pressure right on that joint.

- Let's see what's
inside box number eight.

- No roasts.

- Eh, I don't really have anything else

nice to say about that.

- Yeah, I feel like I
exhausted all the nice stuff.

- Yeah. I stalled out

- Oh boy.

- Oh!

- I'm going to say right now

this is something that I would love,

but that is more appropriate

for one of the other cast members.

- What a convenient lie.

- Well, it's funny you say that

because it's an espresso
machine, you know?

So, so it is very funny

that you were the first one to pipe up.

- I have a strong background
in third wave coffee shops

and I would love an espresso machine

because an espresso machine

is upwards of a thousand dollars so far-

- Some of the prizes got
really decadent last year.

- That's true.

But at the time I had IAC money.

[Ally and Grant laughing]

[tense music]

- I want it.

- Is that a steal?

- Steal, steal.

- Ally, congratulations.

[Ally screaming]

[Sam laughing]

- [Lily] Beautiful.

- Oh my god.

Sam, you need to know that I have watched

so many YouTube videos

about that exact model.

- Really?

- The foaming milk wand, like gauges when

you've hit micro-foam and
just like automatically stops.

- Lily. Go ahead and open box number nine.

- An Electric bike.

- Okay.

- Would be a very nice quarantine gift.

Nothing to prohibit you

from riding your bike around town.

- Lily would you want that?

- I do not need this.

I like my bike.

I've shipped my bike over from New York.

Or, I could be lying

- Is that something that you want grant?

- So I have the Metro bike pass.

Once in a while,

there'll be an electric
bike near the dock near me.

It's all the best parts of riding a bike

and none of the bad parts
of having to get in shape.

Would you want it?

- I mean, I just got the espresso machine

so I feel a little greedy.

- No, you're fine.

I already have an espresso machine.

[tense music]

- Steal.

- Ally Beardsley with the steal.

Lilly.

[Ally screaming]

- I almost stole it too.

Honestly, I deserve that.

[everyone laughing]

- So am I just supposed to
have a raw egg at my disposal?

- Do you have a raw egg
at your house, Ally?

- Oh, that was great.

[Sam laughing]

- [Sam] Ally!

[Sam laughing]

- [Lily] How's the nose on that egg?

- Are you going to break the yolk

or are you going to leave the yolk hole?

- [Sam] Oh God., oh god, oh god.

[Ally screaming]

- Yeah!

Yes, yes, yes!

Oh my God.

- I need a cigarette.

[Sam laughing]

- [Sam] Ally, I think
you have box number 10.

- Whoa, crazy.

- Oh, you already saw it?

- It's a Volkswagen Cabrio.

- There's no way.

- Unbelievable.

- I just want to do a round
where it's three way blind.

- You haven't looked?

- Oh, this is wild.

- I'm high on the yolk baby.

[tense music]

- Steal.

- I heard Grant a moment before Lily.

- This is heavy.

[Sam laughing]

- Oh!

- Oh, yes!

Can it just be a nude?

No comment.

- I tweet a naked picture of myself?

- What if it's like a
fake response to a camboy?

- Oh yeah.

You have to @ a porn star
and it'll be like, hey

I signed up for your Onlyfans and I keep

getting bounced out.

Is there a password issue?

- Ty Mitchell is one that I follow.

Ty Mitchell's good.

- Yes!

- I shouldn't have said
his name because he's also

like in with a lot of the cool gays.

Hey Ty Mitchell paid for your
JustForFans, not going through

- Desperate for a tour.

- Oh, no.

- Me or you?

Looking forward to hearing from you ASAP.

I'm gonna screenshot it and
put it on Instagram right now.

[Grant groaning]

- This is a f*cking nightmare.

But can I tell you the worst
part of it is that it's so

presumptuous to assume this
person has anything to do

with their tech support?

- Yeah.

- What kind of likes is it getting?

- He already replied.

- Did he reply?

[Ally gasping]

- Thanks babe,

sorry you're having difficulty.

- Hey Ty Mitchell, if you see this,

we all think you're great.

- He is cute.

I looked up photos.

Good p*nis.

- He's so good at having sex too.

- Grant!

Box number 11!

- Last two punishments have been naughty.

- So what's on this card.

It is a new bike.

- What does the card say specifically?

- It's an electric bicycle.

- Why am I so good at guessing the prizes?

- There's no way.

[tense music]

- Steal. Sure. Why not?

- Lily, you have a new bicycle.

[Ally screaming]

- [Sam] Indeed

you do.

And not only do you
have a new bicycle Lily

you have a new electric bicycle.

- Get out of here.

- I have no idea how we are
all so psychically linked.

- I'm in Sam's head.

- Lily, do you want to go
and grab box number 12?

- I know I have lied
on all of them for fun,

but for this one I will
be completely honest

because I genuinely do not need this.

It is $250 in food delivery credit.

Whoever needs this should
get a $250 in food delivery.

- I actually don't need it
either though is the thing

because I'm going to be

cooking here in my house all the time.

- This is the most epic lie ever.

If I have to eat another egg...

[everyone laughing]

[tense music]

- Steal.

[Grant cheering]

- We are down to the last three everybody.

Ally, will you open box

number 13?

- The last couple of
punishments have been bad.

I feel like there's still
one hanging out there.

Oh dear.

[Grant laughing]

- I'm trying to decide how
I want to end this game.

If it's on a high note

with my sweet friends
who I love or a low note

a free subscription to an
Onlyfans of your choice.

[everyone laughing]

Which I assume can go to JustForFans,

if you want.

- That is mostly what I
use my one credit card for.

- I think Ally wants Grant
to have this, whatever it is.

What am I gonna do?

Jack off to a bunch of
pictures and videos?

[Sam laughing]

Cause I'm an intellectual.

- I jack off to books.

- I've made my bed and I will lie in it.

- Wow.

- I can't imagine they would
want to punish you again,

after that tweet.

[Grant laughing]

[tense music]

- Steal.

- Yes!

Yes, yes!

- [Lily] It's gonna be bad.

[Grant cheering]

- That's so sweet.

- I'm going to tell you why
this is perfect is because

I was almost going to buy one

because the rollercoaster
video game that I'd been

playing has overtaxed my PC.

And so now my park is too big and

I don't get the FPS I want.

And so I need a new video game.

- You're playing a
rollercoaster video game

and it's taking up room on your PC?

How are you simultaneously
old and young at the same time

- Grant.

- Let's see what we're doing here.

This is a

year membership

to Huntington Gardens.

I feel like Sam did this

on purpose because this was my prize

on one of the last
episodes of Game Changer.

- I am a big fan, annual member myself.

So

- Which makes me think
maybe it's not that because

he hasn't repeated any prizes.

- So is this a bad thing

or is it geared towards one of us

- Or maybe I told the truth.

- Rule that one out. Okay, so.

- Does anyone want to steal?

[tense music]

- Steal.

[Ally screaming]

[Sam laughing maniacally]

- It's a punishment. It's a punishment.

- [Sam] Lily!

And you know what's bad?

It's not even a punishment for you.

The other player

of your choice posts a
wedding ring pic to Instagram.

- You're the only one
who would be believable.

- I was just gonna say.

- So Ally and Grant, we have
delivered to each of you

little boxes with an X on them inside

you will find your faux wedding ring.

- Why does my tweet have a hundred likes?

[Sam laughing]

- This is a lovely ring.

- Gotta be for Ally.

Cause Grant's already tweeted.

- All right, I'm going
to take this outside.

- I'm just nonstop, refreshing

Ally's Instagram waiting for this pic.

- Wow.

This is so stupid.

All right, f*ck it.

f*ck it.

Here we go.

When you push the button, it's intense.

- [Sam] Oh my God I love
it, with the selfie too.

- 50, 60 likes.

- What?

- [Sam] Here we go.

One more g*ng.

Lily.

- This beauty.

Am I allowed to be honest about this one?

- It is up to us to determine

whether or not you are
in fact, being honest.

- It is for all of us

and you should not steal it.

Don't be greedy.

- Yeah, f*cking right.

- I'm serious.

- Bullshit.

- I am being dead honest.

- Oh because you've been
so honest the whole game.

If it were for me, I would
tell you that I would share it

with you guys anyways,
but it is for everyone.

We will all have a bad
time if it is stolen.

[tense music]

- It remains with Lily. Lily, what was it?

[Grant gasping]

[Ally screaming]

- Wow!

[everyone cheering]

- Wait, wait, wait!

- [Grant] Oh, we are going
to have some edibles.

[everyone screaming]

- I actually should call my dad.

- It's going to be a blast.

- We would have so much fun.

- And I'll bring Ty Mitchell,

the best porn star in America.

- That's it for us here at Game Changer.

I'm Sam Reich reminding you

that the only difference between a prize

and a punishment is how much
you're into that kind of thing.

Good night.