05x14 - Cut for Time

[bunniefuu]

WEBVTT

[upbeat music]

- Get ready for a Game Changer!

I am your host, Sam Reich,

and since last cutting room floor episode,

I've been here.

The whole time.

The background has evolved, however,

we got here the Box of Doom,

Um, Actually board game,

Make Some Noise trophy, play
button for Game Changer Shorts,

couple of stuffed animals.

You ravenous little mice
can't seem to get enough

of the moldy cheese in
the back of the fridge,

so, here we go again.

A very special cut for time episode

of Game Changer season five.

Let's begin at the ending,
with Battle Royale.

Now in the finale, I gifted each player

a video from their "families,"

with actors I hired to
play their families,

but I didn't know which players
were making it to the end,

which means there were four
videos I didn't get to use.

Here's one of them, and
the rest will be scattered

throughout the episode.

[TV technical error sound]

- Hello, Ify.

Grandpa here.

I'm so proud of you
for making it this far.

You are a superstar.

I have always encouraged you to aim high,

and strive for excellence.

You have excelled in academics
and athletic competitions.

In school, you didn't always
win your cross country races,

but you always tried your best.

I recall a high school
track and field race,

where you were trailing the
leader until the final curve

before the finish line.

Something clicked in you,
and you had a burst of energy

and fresh legs.

You took off, you caught
and passed the leader,

and won the race.

Ify, you are a winner.

And when the going gets
tough, you get tougher.

Turn on your superstar light,

and let it shine.

We love you, and can't wait to
have our superstar back home.

- At the end of The Bachelor,
when Grant takes me backstage

to be his final counsel,

we cut the conversation
between the two of us,

because we wanted the ending
to be a shocking twist.

But we really did decide
that in the moment,

and so here that moment is.

You know, some of my
favorite Game Changer moments

are people coloring way outside the lines,

and here in the best possible way,

Grant is crayoning all
over the dining room table.

[TV technical error sound]

- Grant, the time has come

for you to select your match.

- Okay, can I say, it
actually was very helpful

to have counsel, and now they're gone.

[confused and slightly panicky] Uh...

Sam, will you be my counsel?

- It's putting me in an
awkward position, Grant,

I am the host of this show.

- Come on, no one takes that seriously.
[Sam laughing]

- I am also your friend.

- That's right!

- Do you seriously want me to

counsel you?
- Yeah, 'cause I don't know what to do.

- Okay.

All righty.

If I was in your position,

I would have a very
tough decision to make,

those are two hot,

eligible, funny men out there.

- Well, and, they get along.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- You can tell me no, and I get it,

and it's already terribly
generous when I come on the show.

- Sure.

- Is there potential that I take
them both? - Oh my god. [laughing]

Is that something that's on the,

I mean it can be no.

I don't know anything about,
I haven't looked into it,

is that on the table at
all? To take two guys?

- Now, Grant, if you ask them both,

they have to both agree.

- God.

- And what if they don't?
- Can you imagine?

Well honestly, that makes it easy.

It's sort of a prisoner's
dilemma. [lightly chuckling]

- Okay, what is it, like
a little bit more budget,

fine, I'm okay with it
if you're okay with it,

but you have to pitch it to them.

- Hell yeah.

I mean, absolutely, yes.

Yeah.

- Let's see what happens.

This is our Bachelor, we
get to decide the rules.

- Yeah, I'm the bachelor.
[Sam laughing]

Okay.

[Sam clears his throat]

- One of my personal favorite
episodes of the season,

Karaoke Night, came with some cut songs,

which we've already released
in the form of a digital album

you can purchase on
the Dropout store, but,

here they are, finally,

in film form, for your famusement.

Enjoy.

[TV technical error sound]

- This one's gonna be chaos.
[8-bit Game Changer theme]

- Antenna Nation, by Daft Punk.

[Ross laughing]

[strong piano music]

Oh, yeah.

♪ Cut your cable, cut your cable ♪

♪ Get rid of cable ♪

♪ Cut your cable ♪

♪ Free yourself from the cord ♪
♪ Cut your cable ♪

♪ Cut your cable ♪
♪ Free yourself from the cord ♪

♪ Get rid of cable ♪

♪ All these streaming services
are still just cable ♪

♪ Get yourself ♪

♪ They're all just cable ♪

♪ They're all just cable ♪
♪ Streaming is cable ♪

♪ Spread your money all across the table ♪

♪ On the table, on the
table, on the table ♪

♪ When you go to a drive-in movie ♪

♪ They just need the antenna ♪

♪ Antenna ♪
♪ Antenna ♪

♪ They clip the radi- yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Pull it on out ♪

♪ Pull it out, just keep going ♪

♪ Pull it on out, pull it on out ♪

♪ Set your AM radio to
the frequency, baby ♪

♪ Set, set, set, set, nananananananana ♪

- Wow, you two.

Wow.

[8-bit Game Changer theme]
[Aaron laughing]

Pain in the a*s, by Blink-182.

Pain in the a*s, by Blink-182.

[unsettling music]

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Oh ♪
♪ Yeah yeah yeah ♪

♪ Every single day, every single day ♪

♪ Something's in my craw ♪

♪ Is it my mom? Is it my pa? Is it both ♪

♪ Obviously ya ♪

♪ Get out of my face, I try to say no ♪

♪ To say no ♪
♪ Always telling me where I ♪

♪ Should and shouldn't go ♪

♪ I was only in the coffee
shop for 10 minutes ♪

♪ And I got a ticket ♪

♪ This is way too much,
I can't afford it ♪

♪ What am I to do now ♪

♪ Everything from my work
to the price of gas ♪

♪ Is a huge pain in my a*s ♪

♪ It's a pain in my a*s,
it's a pain in my a*s ♪

♪ It's a pain in my a*s,
it's a pain in my a*s ♪

♪ When I am older, when I am bolder, ♪

♪ Will this pass ♪

♪ But for now it's a pain in my a*s ♪

♪ Every day ♪

♪ Feeling their attack ♪

♪ Always telling Mom and Dad ♪

♪ To get off of my back ♪

♪ Take a hike, guys ♪

♪ Let me into my own ♪

♪ I am the king now ♪

♪ Sitting up on my throne ♪

[Sam laughing]

♪ I sat down on a bunch of bees ♪

♪ Just to see how it would feel ♪
[Zach laughing]

♪ To unlock something inside
me to know if I'm real ♪

♪ But all those bully bees,
they've got a lot of sass ♪

♪ 'Cause I've got a bunch of stingers ♪

♪ Right up my a*s ♪

♪ It's a pain in my a*s,
it's a pain in my a*s ♪

♪ There were so many bees just
hanging out in the grass ♪

♪ It's a pain in my a*s,
it's a pain in my a*s ♪

♪ Well I tried to swat them,
but bees just move so fast ♪

♪ And when the bees sting ♪
♪ Bees sting ♪

♪ They die ♪
♪ They die ♪

♪ They leave their
stingers inside your arm ♪

♪ They leave their stingers inside ♪

♪ And when the bees sting ♪

♪ And when the bees die ♪
♪ They die ♪

♪ They die ♪
♪ And so do I ♪

♪ So do I ♪
♪ So do I ♪

♪ It's a pain in my a*s,
it's a pain in my a*s ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ And it will not pass ♪

♪ It's a pain in my a*s ♪

♪ It was a pain in my a*s ♪

♪ When Gandalf said to the
Balrog, "You shall not pass" ♪

♪ The Balrog was a pain in my a*s ♪

[Sam laughing hysterically]

- That's how that song ends?

- Yes!

- That was cut from the Lord of the Rings.

- That was Blink-182's contribution
to the LOTR soundtrack.

- Hi, Uncle Adam, I know
you're working good over there,

I hope you can come home
safely and we love you.

- We miss you, Adam,
we're so proud of you.

I'm sure it's fun, but I know it's really,

you're working really hard.

Don't worry about us, we're
having a great time here,

everything's just fine.

- And I hope you can come and play dolly.

- Definitely come play dollies.

Adam, brother, everyone here waiting,

we're so proud of you, man.

Keep up the good work, keep
doing what you're doing.

Try to have some fun and, yeah,
we're all doing great here,

but we miss ya.

- Love you.

- Just like with last
Like my Coffee episode,

there were a lot of prompts
that hit the cutting room floor,

not because they weren't any good,

but because the episode
was already running long.

Now, as a bonus bonus,

when we originally
conceived of this episode,

we had imagined we would
pull a Lie Detector

and cut to Debbie O'Brien
intermittently backstage

for reactions,

before she was first introduced.

We didn't end up doing that,

we wanted the surprise to be
a surprise for the audience

as well as for Grant,

but some of the reactions
were just pure gold.

With apologies to Grant, enjoy.

[TV technical error sound]

- I like my lovers like
I like my IKEA furniture.

Jess.
- Everyone likes to sh*t on it

but I think that it's perfectly fine.

- Aww.
- Oh, that's kinda nice, Jess.

Kinda wholesome.

I'll give you that point.
- I think IKEA's affordable.

- Grant.

- I like to sh*t on it.

- There you [laughing] go.

- Well now I'm conflicted,

because I gave Jess that point.
- Sure.

It was a funny play on what Jess did.

- Then you only have one real option here.

- I'll give you the point,
bringing you to eight.

Rekha.

- Cheap, but reliable.

- Ooh.

- Very good, Rekha.

I will give you two points.

Grant.

- To Wong Fu, thanks for everything,

and your p*ssy.

[Jess guffaws]

- Is your name Robin Hood? Because...

- Is your name Robin Hood?

Because you robbed from the
rich, and gave to my p*ssy.

[Sam and Grant laughing]

- I'm not so sure about this one.
- It happened!

- Hey, Jess, I think you got an STI.
[players laughing]

- You filled my p*ssy
with your dirty rich d*ck.

- Is your name because for four.

Is your name Rumpelstiltskin?

Rekha.
- Is your name

Rumpelstiltskin?

Because this is like a
weird little fairy tale.

[Jess and Sam laughing]

- I don't know, Rekha.

Listen, you're doing great.

- I don't remember what this man did.

- Grant.

- Is your name Rumpelstiltskin?

Because I like your rump,
your skin, and your stilts.

[Jess laughing]

- I want you to explain to
me the stilts part of this.

- There's a man.
- Yes.

- And he's got stilts.

- [laughing] You're
painting a picture for me.

- Here's the thing about tall people,

is they just lay there.

- Orgies are like an UberPool.

Grant.

- There's no lifeguard.

Like a pool.

- Like a pool, but that's not...

- So Sam, keep in mind if we
kind of change the prompt.

- Sure.
[Jess and Sam laughing]

That'd help.

- Jess.

- Orgies are like an UberPool.

No one's interested in small talk.

- Yes, that works for me, Jess.

Sure, I'll give you a point
for that, by all means.

Let's do it like an online recipe.

Rekha.

- Let's do it like an online recipe.

If we need to, we'll
do some substitutions.

- Oh!

Nice, I like that, Rekha.

What do you think? One point?

Two points?
- I think you should give me

three points, but...

- We'll say one point for that, Rekha.

Jess.

- Let's do it like an online recipe.

Something's always missing.

- Aw.

- Oh, that's a sad one.

- Yeah.

f*ck me 'cause I'm sad.

- I'll give you a point, Jess, for sure.

Grant.

- There's gonna be an
overreliance on Greek yogurt.

[Jess laughing]

- What in the holy f*ck

are you talking about?
- For the yeast infections.

- They're always sticking Greek
yogurt into recipes nowaday.

Can I tell you, Sam,

I feel like I haven't been
pervy enough with this,

so I'll be pervy about this one.

For you.

- Uh-oh.

- [Jess] This is what you wanted.

- [moaning softly] Oh, f*ck.

- [Jess] Oh my goodness.

- Is your name R.L. Stine?

Jess.

- Is your name R.L. Stine?

Because your imagery will be
ingrained in my mind forever.

- I mean, sure.
[Jess laughing]

He is mine, one point for Jess. Grant.

- Is your name R.L. Stine?

Because you're from Bexley, Ohio,

a suburb of my hometown of Columbus.

- Whoa, too hot.
[players laughing]

- Yeah, come on.

- This isn't trivia, Grant.

Let's do it like for one.

Let's do it like billionaires.

Grant.

- We'll "commit suicide"
in jail afterwards.

- Oh my god.

- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- That is dark as hell, Grant.

- What, did you think
I'd stop 'cause of her?

Is that what you thought?
[Jess and Sam laughing]

You don't know me at all, Sam.

- In Escape the Greenroom,

folks have asked us incessantly

how I managed to disappear
through the front door

and then arrive back
in the locked bathroom.

Now we did a whole BTS
on Escape the Greenroom,

and we didn't include this.

Because we forgot.

Truthfully, sometimes the
most complicated answers

are staring you right in the face,

and just like a magic trick,

the answer is disappointing

once you know it.

But I'm an open book,

and so, disappointment risked,

here is the solution you've
all been waiting for.

[TV technical error sound]

- Kick it, Brennan!

Tims! Tims, b*tch!
[Siobhan laughing]

- [Brennan] What's up, baby?

- Oh my god!

- [Brennan] Holy sh*t!
All right, climb in, g*ng.

Here we go.

- [Lou] Are there cameras in here, too?

- [Siobhan] Yes, there
are cameras in here.

Of course there are
f*cking cameras in here.

- [Lou] Oh, I f*cking hate it, dude.

- [Siobhan] Thank god I wore
pants, is all I can say.

Okay, there's a magnet
here, and a thing to stand.

Some kind of pull?
- [Brennan] Okay.

"Samuel Dalton, time traveler."

- [Narrator] Magician or madman?

Born in Cambridge, England,

Samuel Dalton apprenticed
under various card cheats,

and has since established himself

as one of London's finest magicians.

But his latest act has us concerned.

Dalton claims he will use electromagnetism

to travel to the future.

Is this another hustle?

Or is it madness?

[lightly unsettling music]

- Hey, Anna!

It's your uncle and aunt from
Michigan and all your cousins.

We just wanna say we're
so excited for you,

you're gonna do great,

and we cannot wait to see you win it all!

Woo!
- Woohoo! Go, Anna!

- Go, Anna!

Woo!

- Along with last
season's musical episode,

we released a "Sam cam"
which showed off my reactions

to the official cast recording.

Embarrassing though that was,

you all seemed to get a kick out of it,

and so, here we go again.

Here I am, basking in the cathartic bliss

that was "To-Do List" by The Supremes,

as well as dancing to the
dancing portion of The Bachelor,

as well as dancing to the
dancing portion of The Bachelor,

which I think we can all agree
is just in here for the gifs.

I said gifs right that
time. Don't come at me.

- 3520 it is.

[8-bit Game Changer theme]

To-Do List, by The Supremes.

- Hm.

[pop-soul music]

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Well my mama told me, do what you can ♪

♪ But before you start you
know you got to make a plan ♪

♪ Gotta make a plan ♪
♪ Make a plan ♪

♪ Make a plan, make a plan ♪

♪ Feel it in your soul ♪

♪ If you want to achieve your dreams ♪

♪ Then you gotta set a goal ♪

♪ I often make a list to
understand the obstacles ♪

♪ That I've got set forth for today ♪

♪ Set forth for today ♪

♪ I gotta get an oil change
and do some groceries ♪

♪ Pick up some dry cleaning
and maybe watch the game ♪

♪ So make a to-do list ♪

♪ Make a to-do list ♪

♪ Put it up on your
refrigerator and do it ♪

♪ Just make a to-do list ♪

♪ Make a to-do list ♪

♪ And check them all off ♪

♪ There is nothing to it ♪

♪ Start the day with a cold
shower and a bit of meditation ♪

♪ Meditation ♪
♪ Step out of your door ♪

♪ Ready to take on the whole nation ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Grab a cup of coffee, walk into work ♪

♪ Tell off the person who
treats you like a jerk ♪

[Sam laughing]

♪ Write down the social
interactions you will have ♪

♪ To make sure that you get them right ♪

♪ If you don't write down
those stings and jabs ♪

♪ That you have in your head ♪

♪ What you could have said
will keep you up at night ♪

♪ So make a to-do list ♪

♪ Make a to-do list ♪
♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ Make a to-do list, and cross it off ♪

♪ Just make a to-do list ♪

♪ Nothing feels so better ♪

♪ Than erasing all the
things you did today ♪

♪ Check it off, check it off ♪

♪ Check it off, check
it off, check it off ♪

♪ Check it off, check it
off, all your things ♪

♪ Check it off, check
it off, check it off♪

♪ Check it off, check
it off, check it off♪

♪ Buy silly string ♪
♪ Check it off, check it off ♪

♪ Check it off, check it off ♪

♪ For a child's birthday party ♪

♪ You gotta make a to-do list ♪
♪ Make a to-do list ♪

♪ Just make a to-do list ♪

♪ Make a to-do list ♪

♪ Doing it doesn't feel half
so good as crossing it off ♪

♪ Doing it doesn't feel half
so good as crossing it off ♪

♪ Doing it doesn't feel half
so good as crossing it off ♪

- Wow, wow!

Bradley, if you could take us away.

[smooth, funky music]

Oh, hell yeah.

[smooth, funky music continues]

[smooth, funky music continues some more]

[smooth, funky music continues even more]

- In the BTS of Sam Says 2,

I mentioned that the way the
ending played out in reality

was pretty different than
how it played out onscreen.

Ultimately to create a 30
some-odd minute episode,

we wanted each player's
choice to be clear.

Zac takes off down the street,

Jacob gets in his car, goes home,

Ally flies to New York City.

Now all of that did happen.

And more.

The truth is less so stiff competition,

and more the wholesome
power of friendship.

Take a look.

[TV technical error sound]

- The scores at the end of our game.

Zac with one, Ally with 15, Jake with 18.

There is one more prompt left,
and it's worth 30 points,

making the rest of this
game completely irrelevant.

Players, Sam says go.

[feet stomping]

- Okay. [Ally laughing]

- Go.

- I don't know where to go.

I'm just going.

- You better skedaddle, Ally.

Your competition's
already got a headstart.

[machine chirps]
[traffic whooshes]

- Where are you gonna go?

Where are you going?

Get in!

"Go."

So esoteric.

- Where you headed?

- Hey, you're on speaker.

I want your advice.

You know, I'm doing that
CollegeHumor thing today.

- [Jacob's dad] Right.

- The game ended up being Simon Says.

You know Simon Says, you get that, right?

- [Jacob's dad] Yeah.

- So the last prompt that
we just got was "Go."

It was just "Go." G-O.

I have a cameraman in my car,
- [Jacob's dad] Okay.

and it's one of those
things where it's like

"Well what is the interpretation?"

And I was thinking like,
maybe I just go home.

Just call it a day.

- [Jacob's dad] Hm.

- [Ally] You wanna take me to Burbank?

- [Zac] Sure, I'll take you.
[Ally] All right, let's do it. [Laughing]

- [Jacob's dad] There's gotta
be something, maybe a code.

G is, what, the eighth
letter of the alphabet.

- Oh my god, that's too
much, Dad, that's too much.

That's way too much.

Hold on, I'm getting a
FaceTime call, gotta go.

- [Jacob's dad] Dammit, I wasn't done.

- [Jacob] Love you. Bye.
- [Jacob's dad] Love you. Bye.

- [Jacob] What a ham.

Hey, guys.

- [Zac] Hey, what are you up to?

- [Jacob] I think I'm just gonna go home.

- [Zac] I think I'm gonna take Beardsley

to Burbank Airport.

- You're gonna drop 'em off?

- [Zac] Mm-hm.

- Should I cruise?

- [Jacob] It's Jacob.

- [Ally] Well, I've got one shirt.

- [Jacob] Did you shotty?

- No, no, please. Please.

All you, baby.

- 15 minutes to Burbank Airport.
[Jacob laughing]

Y'all got enough room?

- Yeah, yeah. Do you
have any gum or mints?

- Yeah.

- Thanks.
- Little tiny mints.

- Oh, wow, actually, I'd dig that.

Hey, do you mind if I
bark karaoke back here?

- [Zac] Yeah, can you bark Smash Mouth?

[To the tune of "All Star"]
♪ Bark bark, bark bark bark bark ♪

- Don't hit him. Don't hit him.

We're all on the clock right now, right?

So anything we do

is technically an expense
on the production.

- Oh, wait. Sam's calling.

- Oh, okay.

- Do you wanna...?

- Yeah.

- Hey, Sam.

- Hey, Ally. Um...

What are you, what are you up to?

- I am going to New York City.

[Sam wheezes]

- Jake, what are you doing there?

- I just wanted, I'm
here for the hang, man.

It's hard to-
[Sam laughing]

- [Sam] What a friend.

- Me, Jacob...

- Oh, Zac!
- [Zac] Hey, what's up. I'm driving.

You're driving!

[laughter through phone speaker]

How did this turn into
a wholesome road trip?

It was supposed to be a stiff competition.

- No, we're all best
friends, so. [laughing]

We just wanted to hang. [laughing]

- Ally, that is an incredible commitment.

- Hey, Sam, quick Q, though,
just a sorta logistics thing.

Since we are technically
still on the clock,

any purchases that happen within this

are technically on production, right?
[Sam laughing]

- If we slip through a Carl's
Jr. or something like that,

In-N-Out, oh, In-N-Out, oh my god.

Yeah, so if we all went to In-N-Out...

- If you all go to In-N-Out,

I will personally compensate
you for your In-N-Out.

- I mean it's just worth thinking about.

I don't know if we will.

- Yeah, just worth thinking about.

Hey, switch the [laughing] direction.

[all laugh]

- Oh, beautiful sunset.
- Oh my god,

look at the sunset!

[Sam laughing purely]

- Why is this so sweet?

That is beautiful, that
is a beautiful sunset.

- [Ally] All right, well, bye, Sam.

- Best of luck, my friend.

- Thanks for the Double-Double.

- Wow.

- Damn, great thinking.

- You gotta think a little bit.

- We all gotta grab a bite

before I catch my 10:30 PM
flight to New York City.

- Add a stop, baby.

[cars rolling]
[faint laughter]

- Am I making a huge mistake? [laughing]

- Big line. Real busy In-N-Out.

- [Zac] A burger and a fry.

- There you go.

- Thank you.

- [Jacob] Do we have to go?

- Yeah.

- What is it? Yeah, we gotta go.

- I fly out in like 15.

- 15?

- No, I'm doing okay.

But we do gotta go, we gotta go.

- Closing.

Final checklist? You got everything?
[Ally laughing]

You got the deodorant,

you got the CLIF Bar.
- [Zac] You got your one shirt.

- You got your one shirt.

- [Zac] You got a travel pillow.
You got my charger that I definitely

know I'm not gonna see again.

I'm never gonna see
that charger. It's gone.

- I'm gonna get it back to you.

- That's on Sam, for sure.
[Ally laughing]

- Look at all these people.

They're all on Game Changer.

- All these people got
the same prompt, "Go."

- Yeah. [laughing].

- You guys, thank you.

- Hey, man, congrats on the win,

and I hope you have a great trip.
[Ally laughing]

- Thanks, guys.

- Have fun.

- Yeah, thank you.

[ambient chatter]

- Hi, Rekha.

Your dad loves you so very much,

and I am so proud of you
for making it this far.

So keep strong, keep the faith,

and most of all; Keep. Going.

Everyone is cheering for you,

and we know that you can win.

So win!

Remember, it's like
how to eat an elephant.

One bite at a time.

Just keep one foot ahead of the other,

until you win.

And I know it's in you.

The will to win, the will to persevere.

I know it's hard right
now, but you can do it.

Just push on a little bit
more, and you can win.

Remember that time in school,
when the bullies came.

You were so brave, and
you stood up to them.

In the end, it was the
bullies who backed away.

I was so proud of you.

So, we all want you to come home.

Win this thing. You. Can. Do it.

And remember, your dad
loves you so very much,

and is so proud of you.

- That does it for us
here at Game Changer,

a new season of Make Some Noise
[slow, soft closing music]

is just around the corner.

But I'm a full season
ahead of you in the future,

and I'm already hard at work

on the next season of Game Changer.

Every season, I ask myself

"How are we going to
top this next season?"

And answering that
question is a terrifying,

and intimidating pleasure.

Your reactions, your wonderful tweets,

Your reactions, your wonderful tweets,

and messages, and fan art and home games

are that pleasure doubled.

Thank you for the
opportunity to play for you.

Without you, the Dropout fandom,

and the way that you
evangelicalize this show,

there would be no Game Changer,

and I would be a mid-tier executive

at a cable television network.

So thank you from the bottom of my heart,

and see you on the internet.

[warm music]