03x17 - It's About Time/Farmer Garfield

[bunniefuu]

-[Garfield snoring]
-[alarm rings]

[upbeat theme song playing]

-[Garfield] Hee!
-[remote clicks]

[whimsical music playing]

[Garfield] Oh! Come back here! Why you…
Come on now!

[Nermal] You leave me alone, Garfield!

You just resent me
because I'm so adorable!

You won't be after I get through with you.

[screams, gasps]

Meow!

And don't come back!

Envy.

Pure envy.

-Hey, pal.
-[gasps, groans]

Do you mind? Some of us
have to eat out of these things.

-Oh. Sorry, Harry.
-[chuckles]

Garfield threw me in there
'cause he's so jealous of me.

Not that I blame him.

[Harry] Garfield's not jealous of you.

Look at this.

Somebody threw away a perfectly good
six-week-old tuna sandwich.

[Nermal] How could he not be jealous?
I'm cute. I'm beloved. I have everything.

You don't have your own show.

What?

Garfield has his own show.

We're on it right now, see?
People are watching us.

Oh yeah. Hiya, folks!

Everyone watches it. You can hear it
coming out of almost every house.

The little girl who lives here
watches it every time it's on.

[woman] Laraine!

I told you to watch educational programs!

The Garfield Show
is educational, Mom!

I'm learning how to eat lasagna
and sleep all day.

[mother] Laraine!

All right. All right.

We're speaking with a noted inventor and
mad scientist, Prof. Thaddeus Bonkers.

Prof. Bonkers, is it true
you have invented a time machine?

Oh, that is correct.

How long did it take you?

The rest of my life.
I actually finished it years from now.

But when I was done,

I jumped into my time machine
and came back here to today in it.

Ah!

So, in your time machine,
someone can actually travel into the past?

Indeed. But they have to be very careful.

Anything you do when you are back
in time could affect the future.

Wow! What would you do
if you had a time machine?

I think I'd go back in time
about two minutes

and not eat this sandwich.

Well, I know what I'd do...
and what I'm gonna do.

[laughing]

A slight change of history
and this show will be mine.

So, you need to be very careful
about altering the past.

This is boring.
I'm gonna watch
The Garfield Show.

[Jon]
Garfield! You can't just lay around
the house all day sleeping.

Jon's right.

I'll lay around the backyard
all day sleeping.

-[keyboard clacking]
-[beeping]

[giggling]

You are to guard my time machine
with your life!

It is priceless! It took me
the rest of my life to build it!

You can count on me, Professor.

-[electrical crackling]
-[beeping]

[grunts]

[laughing] Uh-oh.

[groaning]

-[straining]
-[glass shattering]

[gasping]

[panting]

[sighing]
Now, how do you start this thing?

Traveling Through Time for Dummies.

Just what I need.

"To start, press red button."

[motor whirring]

Well, doy.

[screaming]

[screaming continues]

How to stop. How to stop. How to stop.
It's gotta be in here somewhere.

"Selecting a date or event to visit."
Awesome.

[beeping]

I'm setting it for the day Jon
first found Garfield at the pet store.

[giggling]

Whoa!

Wow. I made it! That's the store!

So, how do you get someone to adopt you?

Just look adorable.
Then someone will wanna take you home.

That doesn't sound so hard.

It helps if the human isn't too bright.

[door chimes ring]

Hey.

Oh. He should be a cinch.

But don't look too eager.
It makes them think no one else wants you.

Good idea. I'll play hard to get.

May I help you, sir?

Uh, yes, I've been thinking
I might like to adopt a cat.

Pick me! Oh! Take me home with you.
Please! Please! Please!

I'll be your loyal cat. Meow, meow, meow.

Pick me.

-Wow.
-[screaming]

Uh, maybe I'll take this one.

That's how Jon adopted Garfield.

On the way home,
I'll stop at the market and buy cat food.

Actually, we've noticed
that he rather likes lasagna.

Lasagna?

Meow, meow!

Okay, lasagna.

[door chimes ring]

-You are kind of cute.
-You're not so bad yourself, fella.

I think we're going to be good-- [gasps]

Meow.

[purring]

Meow! Meow! Meow!

Hmm.

[door chimes ring]

[screaming] What about taking me home
and feeding me lasagna

and making me your cat and feeding me?

And you're going to love it at my place.

I'll fix you up a bed
and feed you whatever you like.

[whimpering] No! No!

[sighs] This is weird.

I feel like the entire universe
just shifted a little.

Oh well.

Time for my : pre-dinner
appetizer booster snack.

[Odie snoring]

Gee, Jon's not keeping the kitchen
as well-stocked as he usually does.

It's every pet for himself at dinner,
Odie.

[whining]

There's barely enough food
in the house for me.

[sniffing]

[snarling]

[barking]

An intruder? Where?

[barks]

You mean me?

How could I be an intruder?

[growling]

What do you mean
you never saw me before? I'm Garfield.

I live in this house, remember?

See my picture right over here on--
[gasps]

Nermal? What is Nermal
doing in my picture frame?

[growling]

Squeak! Tell Odie who I am!

Strange cat in the house!

Alarm! Alarm!

Squeak, it's me, Garfield!

You're a cat, and cats eat mice!

All except for my friend Nermal!

Nermal?

Hey!

-[thud]
-[groans]

[barking]

[Jon] What's wrong, Odie?

Hey! How'd that cat get in here?

"That cat"?

Jon, don't you remember me?

The cat who sleeps all day?
Who eats lasagna?

Who's been with you since…

[Odie snarling]

When did Jim start the newspaper strip?

. Since ?

I don't know who you are,
but there's only one cat in this house.

My beloved pet, Nermal.

[gasps] Nermal! Your pet?

[screaming]

What happened?

Why do I no longer exist?

Odie doesn't know me.

Squeak doesn't know me.
Even Jon doesn't know me.

This couldn't be any worse.

[mother] Laraine!
Are you watching
The Nermal Show
again?

The Nermal Show?

It's just starting, Mom!

[theme music playing on TV]

[screaming]

[gasps] No! That's my show!
That's my opening and my theme song!

The people with the funny names
in the credits, they work for me! Me!

[mother] Laraine!

I told you to watch something educational!

The Nermal Show
is educational, Mom!

I'm learning how to be
the most adorable creature on the planet!

[crying]

My show.

He even got my show.

My life. My show.

I'm surprised I still have my stripes.

Hi, Garfield.

Oh, hi, Nermal.

Nermal!

Nermal! What have you done?

Done? About what?

Why do you suddenly have
my life and my show?

Oh, that. No big deal.

I borrowed a time machine,
went back in time,

and got Jon to adopt me instead of you.
[laughing]

See you later, Garfield.

Oh. So that's how he did it.

Hmm.

Time machine!

How am I gonna undo this?
How am I gonna get my life back?

[newswoman]
Prof. Bonkers, is it true
you have invented a time machine?

Yes. Two of them, in fact.

Someone stole the first one.

I left it in a no-parking zone
in the past and it was towed.

The police have no idea where it is,
so I had to build another one.

I have to get that time machine
and undo what Nermal did.

[intriguing music playing]

[motor whirring]

[gasps]

You're going to love it at my place.
I'll fix you up a bed and feed you--

No! Stop!
You're making a terrible mistake.

You don't want that cat! He's obnoxious!

He's annoying! He's… he's… he's Nermal!

What is it, cat? Are you telling me
I shouldn't adopt this one?

Yes! Yes!

Take the little cute one who eats lasagna!
He's the one you really want!

Don't do this! Please! Please!

[sobbing]

Yeah, yeah…

This is a pretty good life Garfield has.
Or rather, had.

[chuckles]
I'm starting to really enjoy it.

[humming]

Nermal! What are you doing here?

I live here.

Not anymore.

I went back in time
and convinced Jon not to adopt you.

What? That's rotten, Garfield.
How dare you do to me what I did to you?

Come with me.

Let's see how things are now
in the Arbuckle household.

[panting]

You're such a wonderful pet, Odie.
I'm so glad I decided never to get a cat.

[both] Never to get a cat?

Shall we watch our favorite TV show?

[slurping]

Hey.

Okay. Here it comes.

[theme music playing on TV]

[both]
The Odie Show?

[dramatic music playing]

Don't worry, folks!

We'll get this straightened out
before the next episode

of
The Garfield Show.

Or
The Nermal Show.

Or whatever this show is.

[dramatic music continues]

[whimsical music playing]

[sheep bleating]

I've been trying to get him to not work
so hard and to go on a vacation.

Gloria doesn't understand
how much work it is to run a farm.

Neither do I. What's so hard?
Your farmhands plow the fields.

All you have to do is feed the animals.

Do you know what it's like
to feed all those hungry mouths?

Doc Boy, I feed Garfield and Odie.

Well, you got a point there.
And don't call me Doc Boy.

Say, where is Garfield?

[car horn honking]

Come on. Come on.
Drive me back to civilization.

Garfield doesn't like it here on the farm.

Anyway,
I still say feeding animals is easy.

And I still say you don't know
what you're talking about.

-[car horn honking]
-And I still say, "Let's go home!"

He works much harder than you think, Jon.

And I still think he needs
to take a vacation.

One of these days…

I'd better get Garfield home before…

[Vito] Here as you requested, Garfield!

-Yoo-hoo!
-Your emergency order.

Pizza away!

All right. All right.

-We'll go home.
-[Garfield] Wait.

I have some fighter pilots
airlifting pastrami sandwiches.

-[Doc Boy] Come back soon! So long now.
-[Gloria] Bye! See you later!

Now about that vacation…

But who'd take care of the cow?
And the horse? And the chickens and--

You can find someone!

You're right, I can. And I know who.

[Jon]
Visiting my brother yesterday was fun.

No cable TV.

That farm of his is so cool.

Roosters that crow at : a.m.

And the air smells so great.

If you like the smell of cow.

-[doorbell ringing]
-I wonder who this is.

[gasping]

Doc Boy! Gloria!

-Hello, Jon.
-And don't call him Doc Boy.

Doc Boy and Gloria. See?

Even they couldn't stand it
out on that farm.

[Gloria] So I finally persuaded him
to take a vacation.

And I don't even know where
we're going or when we'll be back.

Hey! Why don't we visit
that relative of yours you told me about?

-Which one?
-Her name was Aunt Something…

[both gasping] Aunt Ivy?

-[suspenseful music playing]
-[cackling]

[teeth chattering]

Forget I mentioned her.

Don't worry, folks.
She's not in this episode.

It's safe to watch.

Who's going to take care
of all your animals while you're away?

Someone who said
he thought it would be easy.

Me?

Oh no! I don't have time
to go up to your farmyard.

Who said anything about taking care
of them in my farmyard?

[mooing]

I don't like the nearness of that moo.

Oh no!

[sheep bleating]

-[cow mooing]
-[chickens clucking]

[spluttering] But…

Couldn't have put it any better myself.

Doc Boy? Doc Boy?

[panting]

Doc Boy!

[Odie barking]

[tires screeching]

We left plenty of food and
audio instructions on how to feed them.

We'll see you
when we get back from our vacation.

Whenever that is.

[Gloria laughs]

[tires screeching]

-[Doc Boy] And don't call me Doc Boy!
-[car horn honking]

[hoedown music playing]

[sighing]

In a situation like this,
there's only one thing to do.

You with me, Odie?

[barks]

[groaning]

[Jon straining]

We'll be at a hotel
until the animals are gone.

-[Odie whining]
-Hmm.

[Jon] Oh no!

You're not running out on this.

You're going to stay
and help me take care of the animals

until Doc Boy and Gloria get back.
Whenever that is.

We'll keep the animals in the backyard.

It won't be so bad.
Unless, of course, it starts to rain.

[dramatic music playing]

-You had to say that, didn't you?
-Come on. Let's get them inside.

[groaning]

[animal sounds]

The weird part is, this is the cleanest
this house has been in months.

I don't think they left us enough food.

I'm going to run out and get some more
before the store closes.

Here. My brother left this CD called,
"How to Feed Farm Animals."

Play it, and do as it says while I'm gone.

If you don't feed them, I don't feed you.

Good. I'll be back as soon as I can.

All right. Let's see what this thing says.

[man]
Hello.

Welcome to "How to Feed Farm Animals."

-Lesson one, chickens.
-[yawning]

Spread chicken feed evenly on ground.

All right. I'll try that.

Suppertime.

Get your delicious chicken feed
right here!

[animals cackling angrily]

Come on. What are you waiting for?

Would you eat that?

Probably. There's not a lot I won't eat.

-Try it.
-
Okay.

[gulping, spitting]

Okay. Ooh! We gotta get you something
better than that.

[rooster crowing]

[screaming]

Oh. Why do you have to do that?

Because I just love to go
"c*ck-a-doodle-doo"!

It's in my soul. It's in my heart.

-[rooster crowing]
-[groaning]

Yeah, but it's also in my ears.

I can't help myself.
I have to go "c*ck-a-doodle-doo"!

Well then, I'll help you.

Step right in here.

[crashing]

Okay, let's see what's next.

[man]
Feeding goats.

Many people think goats eat tin cans.

This is not true.
They merely like to lick the glue

that is often used
to put a label on a tin can.

Ah! That's so good to know, Mr. Voice.

Here.

-I know you don't really eat tin cans but…
-[sniffing]

What was in that when it was full?

[sniffing]

Spaghetti, I think.

Oh great. You get the spaghetti.
I get the empty can.

Well now, wait a minute…

Hey, you dropped something
on the ground behind you.

I don't see anything.

[bleating]

[crashing]

[groaning] Okay. We've gotta get you
some better food too.

-[whistling sound]
-Ouch!

[man]
Feeding horses.

Horses eat hay.

Odie! Bring the hay in here.

[Odie barking]

Yuck.

Hey, it's your hay.

I'm not eating that.

You know what hay tastes like?

It's dry. It's tasteless. It's… it's…

Like Jon's meatloaf?

Well, probably not that bad.

Wait here.

-[chuckles]
-Hmm?

Here. There's no food on Earth that can't
be made edible with enough ketchup.

Bon appétit.

Whoa! [munching]

[gasps] My mistake. This isn't ketchup.
It's ultra-powerful hot sauce.

[sizzling sound]

[neighing]

[hoedown music]

[neighing]

[coughing]

Sorry about that,
but I'll make it up to you.

I'm gonna give you guys some real food.

Let's see, yesterday's macaroni,
leftover Chinese food…

[animals chewing, chattering]

Oh my!

This is delicious.

So much better than tin cans.

That's for sure.

This is so much better
than what Doc Boy feeds us on the farm.

We're never gonna leave this house.

Oh no! We can't keep them here, Odie.
It's time to take drastic steps.

[whimpering]

More drastic than that.

[whimpering]

More drastic than that.

[whimpering]

Even more drastic than that.

[gasping]

[dramatic music playing]

If small children are watching,
they should look away from the screen.

This could be really scary.

[doorbell ringing]

[ominous music playing]

[growling]

I know.
I said Aunt Ivy wasn't in this episode.

I lied.

Jon? Jon?

I got your email inviting me to stay
with you until Christmas after next.

This isn't good.

This place looks like a barnyard.

Even worse, it smells like a barnyard.

[Ivy] Look at the feathers
on that chicken.

Look at the giblets on that turkey.

Get that cow out of here.

I'm lactose intolerant.

[Ivy] Get that sheep out of here.

-[rooster crowing]
-I don't like wool.

Tell that rooster if he doesn't shut up,

he won't like
what I'll c*ck-a-doodle-do to him.

[Gloria]
But it's supposed to be our vacation.

And it will be. But I'm worried about how
my brother will take care of the animals.

I just wanna check
and make sure they're okay.

[animal sounds]

My animals! They're all running away!

[Doc Boy] Come back!
I'll take you all back to the farm.

[giggling]

Problem solved.

Oh, you're wondering
about the bigger problem.

-The Aunt Ivy problem. Don't worry.
-[Ivy] I'm not staying another minute.

It smells like a barnyard,
and all the fur and feathers are…

[sneezing]

…kicking up my allergies.

I'm gonna stay in the most expensive
hotel in town and charge it to Jon.

Another problem solved.
Now I have just one more thing to do.

Remember the CD?

Mm-hmm.

I have to go online
and find the guy who makes them.

-I have an idea.
-[whining]

[Jon] I don't know
how you did it, Garfield.

Doc Boy called and said
all the animals are safe on their farm,

and he'll find a sitter for them
before his vacation.

Good!

Okay. Here. Listen to this.

The CD player? Something on here
you want me to listen to?

[chuckles]

[man]
Hello.

Welcome to "How to Feed Garfield Cat."

Lesson one. Breakfast.

Garfield enjoys a modest breakfast,

including waffles with syrup,
fresh berries,

hot coffee with sugar, cream,
more sugar, buttermilk pancakes,

sausage patty and links,

eggs fried, scrambled,
and poached on top of other eggs,

lasagna, cold and hot cereal,

buttered toast, bacon,
more bacon, lots more bacon…

You gotta admit…

[upbeat theme music playing]