03x26 - Problems, Problems, Problems/Take a Ferret to Lunch

[bunniefuu]

-[Garfield snoring]
-[alarm rings]

[upbeat theme song playing]

-[Garfield] Hee!
-[remote clicks]

[whimsical music playing]

[sighing]

This is gonna be a perfect day.

I woke up late, had breakfast,
went back to bed,

woke up again, had breakfast…

Yeah, a perfect day.

And no one is gonna ruin it.

[Lucky] Hi, Garfield.

Except, of course, Lucky.

Garf, I was wondering if you could
help me with a little problem.

Oh!

-No.
-I have a whole bunch of fleas.

I can't get rid of 'em.

[gasps] Well, you can keep 'em.

Hey, you have nothing to worry about.

They love my fur, and they won't leave.
Here, listen to 'em.

-Oh, I love this cat!
-Yeah, me too.

[giggling]

Hey, that's funny.

No, it isn't. Believe me.

All right. All right. Uh, let me see…

I got it. You need to find
an even better home for them.

Oh yeah. Right, that's genius.

It's very simple. We find a human
who smells like cats and dogs.

So where, pray tell,
will we find a smelly person?

-In here.
-Oh.

The city pound?

[chuckles] Of course.

[snoring]

[suspenseful music playing]

-[grunts]
-[snoring]

This ain't gonna work.

I tried it, and they'll just come
right back to me.

You and I just smell like cats.
He smells like cats and dogs.

Trust me. Fleas prefer a buffet.
So just keep dancing.

[dance music playing]

[chattering]

[gasps]

[grunting]

[screaming]

Thank you, Garfield the Wise.
I am free of the fleas.

Always glad to do a favor for a friend.

[Bruno] Hey, Garfield the Wise.

Could you let me outta here?

Bruno!

Uh, sure, why not?

See you later, guys.
I've got a perfect day to get back to.

[Lucky] That Garfield, he's one smart cat.

Yeah. I saw how he solved
your flea problem.

Hey, do you think--

[screaming]

Do you think he could help me with
a little, uh, "romantic" problem I have?

Sure. Garfield can fix anything.

[sighing]

As I said before, no one
is gonna ruin this perfect day.

[whining]

Except, of course, Odie.

You want me to throw the stick
so you can fetch it, boy?

[barking]

I was prepared for this.

Okay. Put the stick in that bowl there.

[whining]

Good.

Now fetch.

[barking]

We won't see him again until around…

oh, season four.

[yawning] Now, where was I?

Oh yes. A perfect day calls
for a perfect nap.

So I'm just gonna kind of--

[Bruno] Yo, Garfield!

[groaning]

This day is getting
less and less perfect if you ask me.

I was wondering if you could maybe
help me with a little problem I have.

-No.
-Good. It's my girlfriend Trixie.

She broke up with me on account of
she doesn't think I'm nice enough.

Smart lady, that Trixie.

Can you fix it
so she thinks I'm real heroic?

Are you gonna stick around
and annoy me until I do?

If that's what it takes.

[sighs] This way.

[Bruno chuckles]

Oh!

That's her. That's Trixie over there.

You gotta convince her I'm a good guy.

First, you gotta find someone
to convince me.

-[ominous music playing]
-I'm convinced.

[Bruno cackling]

Okay. What if she sees you help
that little old lady across the street?

Uh, I don't know how to do that.

You don't know how to help
a little old lady across the street?

Here, I'll show you.

Madam, may I lend you a paw?

You're trying to steal my purse!
You bad cat!

That little old lady!
A cat is trying to steal her purse.

Somebody help her! Somebody!

-[heroic music playing]
-I will help her!

Bad cat! Awful cat!

What do you got in that purse?
Bowling ba*ls or anvils?

I will save you, madam!

[dramatic music playing]

[grunting]

Bruno! You're such a hero.

Oh, it was nothing.
I just like to help folks.

[gasping] Good. Help me.

I had you all wrong, Bruno.

[Garfield panting, groans]

You solved my problem, Garfield the Wise.

Let me know if you ever need anything.

An ambulance would be nice.

[Bruno laughing]

Well, maybe I'll be all right.

[screaming]

Well, maybe not.

[groaning]

[whimpering]

Well, maybe I can enjoy the rest
of this perfect day, but I doubt it.

[sighing] No one around.
Let's see how long this nap lasts.

-[snoring]
-[chirping]

Three seconds. A new world's record.

Don't tell me.
Let me guess. You have a problem.

[chirping]

And you saw me solve Bruno's problem,

so you figure Garfield the Wise
can solve yours.

[chirping]

Okay. What is it?

[cheerful music playing]

[Garfield sighs]

[chirping]

-[chirping]
-[gasps]

[Garfield] Uh-oh. Looks like Harry's
planning a bluebird lunch.

-You wait here.
-[chirping]

Uh-huh.

Oh. Ah-ha!

There it is. Jon's leftover meat loaf.

Here's something you may never see again.
Food I won't eat.

A little shaping here, a little there.

A lot of people don't know it,

but some of the greatest sculptors
in history

did their first work in meat loaf.

Now we just need
a little blue food coloring…

Hmm. [chuckles]

A masterpiece!

[chirping]

[laughing]

[dramatic music playing]

[chirping]

[Garfield] Looks like you missed, Harry.

Yeah, but I'll catch one any day now.

Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of.

-What did you say?
-Oh, nothing.

Have you ever caught a bluebird?
In your entire life?

Never. But I just know
they taste delicious.

Oh, they're not bad.

You caught a bluebird!

Hey, a cat's gotta eat.

Garfield, pal of mine,
could I have a taste?

Just give me one teensy-weensy taste?

Well…

All my life, I've dreamed of eating
a bluebird. Please, Garfield--

[screaming]

Give me that last line again.

Uh, sure.

Uh, all my life,
I've dreamed of eating a bluebird.

Please, Garfield.

-Oh, okay. I will-- All right.
-[laughing]

[stomach gurgling]

-Yuck!
-Could I interest you in seconds?

No! I don't want another bluebird.
Not now. Not ever.

[Harry] Who would have thought
they'd taste so lousy?

They're almost as bad as that meat loaf
his human makes.

-[chirping]
-[laughing]

You're welcome.

I don't think you'll have to worry
about Harry anymore.

Oh, now I am finally gonna
have my perfect day nap.

-[groans]
-Hey, Garfield.

I ordered cheese three weeks ago,
and it hasn't arrived.

And I sent away for new glasses,
and they haven't shown up yet.

My owner is feeding me dog food that
tastes like something in a rock garden.

It's so hot in my coop,
my eggs are coming out soft-boiled.

Yeah, mine too.

Garfield the Wise!

[all chattering]

[action music playing]

I'm gonna solve my problem
and get out of here!

[action music continues]

[trumpeting]

[panting]

[soft music playing]

I need to solve my problem.

How to get away
from all of their problems.

Huh?

[whimpering]

[giggling]

-[soft music playing]
-[ding]

[action music playing]

[chattering]

Whoa.

Yes! I can solve your problems.

[all] Tell us! How can you solve
our problems, Garfield the Wise?

Well, I won't solve them.

I advise you
to take them to Odie the Wiser!

Huh?

[all gasp]

Solve my cheese problem, Odie the Wiser.

[whimpering]

I need new glasses, Odie the Wiser.

[whimpers]

About my dog food…

The heat in my coop…

[all chattering]

[chattering continues]

[screaming]

Most of these folks
could solve their own problems

if they just tried instead
of asking someone else.

So, finally, I have no problems,
mine or anyone else's.

-[action music playing]
-[both grunt]

Why don't you watch where you're goin'?

Don't I have enough problems
with these fleas that I can't…

Hey. I'm not scratching.

The fleas are gone! The fleas are gone!

Gone?

[Al laughs]

Where'd they go?

-[fleas chattering]
-Uh-oh.

I think I know where they went.

[screaming]

[Garfield screaming]

Poor cat. He needs to find someone
to solve his problems.

[whimsical music playing]

[man on TV]
Hello, and welcome
to a very special Garfield cartoon.

It's special
because it's not about Garfield.

What? Why isn't it about me?

It's about Mrs. Ferret.

Mrs. Ferret? Her?

That's right. A lot of viewers
have been asking about her.

They want to know who she is.

She's a ferret who gets way too excited.

They want to know where she came from.

I ask myself that every time
she's on the show.

And they might want to hear
what happened last week.

Oh! Yeah, that might make
a good episode. Okay.

All right then…

It all started one day
when someone brought

a house pet to Liz's veterinary clinic.

We got her about a week ago.

She seems very… [chuckles] …active.

Uh-huh. Ferrets are like that.
Ferrets sleep most of the day.

But when they're awake,
they burn up energy at an amazing rate.

This is an animal
that must be fed constantly

with several meals a day.

Are you sure she isn't talking about me?

I'd like her to have a complete checkup.

Fine. Just come back tomorrow around
this time and pick her up.

-Fine.
-And make sure you come back for her.

You'd be amazed how many people
abandon unwanted pets here.

Oh, I wouldn't think of abandoning
that cute, adorable ferret. Bye.

I got rid of her!

Quick, Rebecca! Let's get out of here
and move to another country!

[car horn honking]

[man]
Within a week or two,
it became apparent the ferret's owner

was not coming back for her.

So Liz let someone else adopt Mrs. Ferret.

My children will absolutely adore her.

[cheerful music playing]

[man]
Nine hours later…

You take this monster back!

[man]
The next day,
someone else adopted Mrs. Ferret.

Hey. What a great pet she'll make.

-[knocking at door]
-Huh?

You take this creature back right now!

[grunts]

This is the worst pet I ever had!
Take her back!

You didn't think she was cute?

No. Mister, can you imagine
what it's like to have a pet

that is either sleeping
or demanding to be fed?

No, I can't imagine
what that would be like.

Well, I'm gonna go get a pet
that will be a lot more fun…

like a slug.

I don't know what to do about her, Jon.

I can't leave her here
in the clinic overnight.

She has to be fed every two hours.

Well, take her home with you.

I can't. You know about my new landlord
and pets in the building.

Could you keep her at your house?

Sure, no problem.

[Garfield]
I was watching
my favorite TV show…

I, your ambassador of edibles,
Eddie Gourmand, will be sharing recipes.

I have ways to…

I can't watch a food show without food.

… ways to fix…

[Garfield]
But then I remembered something.

When Mrs. Ferret was asleep.
She wasn't eating.

-Which meant I could get food.
-[snoring]

Shh.

I had to pick out the quietest food
so as not to wake Mrs. Ferret.

I finally decided that marshmallows
were quiet.

[slurping]

-[gasps]
-[munching]

You ate my marshmallow.

-[munching]
-[grunts]

You ate all the fruit.

[oven dings]

[gasps]

[whining]

You ate the turkey Jon roasted
for dinner tonight,

tomorrow night, and the night after!

I'm a ferret!
I have to eat to keep up my energy.

Hey, I eat a lot of food, but at least
I leave something for somebody else.

[whining]

Well, at least I occasionally
leave something for somebody else.

[Garfield sighs]

[cheerful music playing]

Here you go, Garfield.
A nice, hot bowl of your favorite soup.

Oh boy! Cream of lasagna!

[munching]

Sorry.

[Garfield groans]

[sad music playing]

Tune in for tomorrow's show,

when we're going
to put tons of whipped cream

all over everything.

"Whipped cream?"

I love whipped cream
more than anything else in the world.

Odie, the time has come
to find a new home for Mrs. Ferret.

[man]
So Garfield decided
he had to do something.

[intriguing music playing]

[man]
He printed out ads that asked people
if they wanted to adopt a ferret.

Then he posted the ads all over
the neighborhood.

Someone's gotta be dumb enough
to take her off our hands.

[barks]

[man]
Well, it turned out someone
was apparently dumb enough.

So she's a neighbor, and she called
and says she wants Mrs. Ferret.

That's great, Jon,
if you think she'll provide a good home.

Oh, she's a very nice lady
with a son who's very well behaved.

I'll take Mrs. Ferret
over there right now.

[man]
And that's just what he did.

This is wonderful.

Oh! My son will be so happy
with his new little playmate.

[man]
Unfortunately, the son was…

[Garfield]
Nathan, the youngest, nastiest
mad scientist in the fourth grade.

[man]
Nathan was working
on a super grow ray.

This will finally enable me
to rule the world.

Nathan, I have a surprise for you.

Just what I need in order
to conquer the planet!

[Nathan cackling]

I mean… Oh, what a great animal
to play with.

[evil laugh]

[evil laughter]

[man]
Soon, Nathan was ready
to unleash his new invention.

Here it goes.

[zapping]

[cackling]

[intriguing music playing]

[gasps, screaming]

[dramatic music playing]

[intriguing music playing]

[zapping]

[man]
In no time at all,

Mrs. Ferret had grown
to the height of an apartment house.

[evil laughter]

[man]
A large apartment house.

[dramatic music playing]

[screaming]

[screaming]

[gasps, screaming]

[tires screeching]

[gasps]

[footsteps thudding]

[man]
And of course,
as she grew, so did her need to eat.

Yeah, I'm pretty proud of myself.
Mrs. Ferret is no longer a big problem.

[whimpering]

[screaming]

[man]
It turned out Mrs. Ferret
was still a big problem.

The biggest.

[man]
As her appetite grew,
she switched from trees to cars…

and from cars to houses.

[man]
Panic was growing across the city.

[people screaming]

[man]
The cat realized it was up to him
to come up with a brilliant plan.

Not sure why you thought that, Garfield.

Because this is
The Garfield Show.

I have to save the day, and I did.

[Garfield]
I came up with a brilliant plan.

Tune in for tomorrow's show
when we're going to put tons

of whipped cream all over everything.

[Garfield]
I remembered something she said.

I love whipped cream
more than anything else in the world.

Ah!

[Garfield]
I had a three-step plan.

Step one, go to the TV station
and borrow all the whipped cream

Eddie Gourmand was gonna use tomorrow.

[intriguing music playing]

[action music playing]

[tires squealing]

-[footsteps thudding]
-[screaming]

[tense music playing]

[Garfield]
Step two, cover the house
where Nathan lives with whipped cream.

[Garfield panting]

[Garfield]
Step three, tell Mrs. Ferret
about the lovely sundae we made for her.

Hey. [whistling]

Whipped cream! I love whipped cream
more than anything else in the world.

Unless they make me ruler of the world,
I'll unleash an army of giant ferrets!

-[footsteps thudding]
-[gasping]

Hey! What's goin' on?

[Nathan screams]

She's eating our house!

[Garfield]
Nathan realized that
she was gonna eat the entire house,

and he was in that house.

So the only thing that could stop him
from becoming ferret food

was to reverse the ray.

-[zapping]
-[screaming]

[crashing]

[gasping]

[dramatic music playing]

[mother] Oh, what has that boy done now?

[gasps] I warned him.

Ugh! The next time he destroyed our house,

he wasn't gonna get his allowance
for three whole weeks.

[Nathan grunting]

[Mrs. Ferret] Thanks, guys. You saved me.

And I thought you didn't like me.

You thought right. Well, it's not that.

It's that whenever I'm awake, I'm eating.

Well, I can't help that.

I wish someone would adopt me.
Someone who eats the way I do.

[whimpering]

I was thinking the same thing, Odie.

Mrs. Ferret, I think I have
the perfect master for you…

[Gourmand]
I was going
to put whipped cream on things today,

but someone borrowed my whipped cream
to spread on a house.

Can you believe that?

But I do want to introduce you
to my new little friend, Mrs. Ferret.

Mrs. Ferret sleeps most of the day
then eats everything all at once.

Just like me.

I think Mrs. Ferret finally has a home.

That was a great idea, guys.

Today, I wanna discuss
the best way to eat watermelon.

[chuckling]

Keep it away from your pet ferret.

[man]
But it was a great idea,
and Garfield was pretty happy after that.

Getting rid of Mrs. Ferret
meant he got his living space back

and could eat what he wanted
when he wanted.

And there's something
even better than that.

The next episode? It'll be all about me.

[man]
Gee, I was hoping it would be
all about me.

Not a chance.

[upbeat theme song playing]