02x02 - The Art of Being Uncute/The Night of the Living Bunny Slippers

[bunniefuu]

[snoring] [clock ringing]

[upbeat music]

This is a baby kangaroo.

[Nermal] Not as cute as me.

-And this is a baby panda. -Not as cute as me.

Here we see a baby rhinoceros.

Definitely not as cute as me.

I love watching nature films on TV.

Remind me when you're leaving, Nermal.

Oh, and feel free to use the word "now" in your answer.

[laughing] A few more weeks.

I can't take this anymore, Odie.

Prolonged exposure to Nermal is hazardous to my health.

Oh, look! Twenty-seven baby penguins.

None of them as cute as me.

[jingle]

Don't forget to join us tomorrow

in the nationwide search for America's cutest cat.

In every big city, contestants are lining up for a chance to win

this year's cutest cat trophy.

Cutest cat trophy? Wow!

I haven't won a trophy since...

[tinkling]

...Tuesday. -The winning cat

will receive an all-expenses-paid

six-month vacation in Greenland!

Greenland? Nermal, in Greenland?

Far, far away and...

How far, far away is Greenland? [Odie mutters]

Never mind. It's gotta be far enough away.

Six months without Nermal.

I have got to win that contest!

Yes, you have got to win that contest.

What are you waiting for, Nermal? Let's get entered.

There are flights for Greenland leaving every hour.

[joyful music]

Okay, I'm all entered in the contest tomorrow,

and I'm going to win.

You know why, Garfield?

Of course!

Because you're the cutest cat in the whole town.

Soon to be the cutest cat in Greenland.

I take my responsibility as judge seriously.

I have a chance to set trends,

to influence public taste.

I want to redefine what cute is.

Fashions change, styles change.

Cute must change!

I am so bored with what passes for cute.

Things like...

-That! -Huh?

The opposite of that. That will be the new cute.

The opposite of cute?

How can I be the opposite of cute?

You know what the opposite of cute is, Garfield?

You!

[sniggering]

Let's face it. I'll never win this contest.

[sad music]

I'll never win.

I might as well just stay home and watch TV all day.

At your house.

No!

[crying]

You can't give up now, Nermal.

Think of the glory, think of the pride,

think of six months away in Greenland.

But cute is all I got.

How can I possibly become uncute?

I can teach it to you before the competition tomorrow.

But you've got to work hard, there's no time to waste.

Let's start with manners, shall we?

We have to get rid of them.

Show me how you eat lasagna.

No, no, no, no! Too cute!

First, you're going to have to do away with the silverware.

Watch and learn, Nermal.

This is the uncute way to eat lasagna.

[Garfield chewing]

Garfield, careful!

Some of that is actually getting in your mouth.

That was a good one.

Your turn, Nermal.

Too neat.

It needs something... uncute,

something disgusting, even.

I know! Doggy-tongue. Odie, front and center.

Oh! Stop! Odie, stop!

Stop!

[Nermal screaming]

Please make him stop!

[laughing]

Odie licking your face like that...

Nermal, you are so cute!

This is going to take longer than I thought.

Nermal, do you know how to play with one of these?

[laughing]

Sure!

I hope none of you are trying to eat while you watch this.

[mewing] Wrong, wrong, wrong!

And in that order.

Let me show you what an uncute cat does with the ball.

You use them to occupy small-minded dogs.

Odie!

Fetch!

[barking]

Stop! Stop!

Look out! Help! No!

Well, at least that wasn't cute.

[Jon laughing]

Oh, Nermal and Odie, that's so cute!

Playing hide and seek in the trash cans!

In fact, everything you do is so cute, Nermal.

I'm doomed!

Doomed to a life of eternal cuteness.

I just can't not be cute.

You can and you will.

Your trip to Greenland and my peace and quiet depend on it.

A little of this, some of this...

Oh, and this is disgusting!

Some of this.

Now, mix well.

Garfield, what are you doing?

I'm giving you an uncute makeover.

[blender whirring]

Voilà!

[sniffing]

What was all that for?

This, Nermal, is the final threshold

on your journey into the land of Uncute.

Now you are ready.

Can I at least wear a little flowery deodorant?

No.

Cute, cute, very cute.

Repulsively cute!

I want to see that new kind of cute,

the kind that defies convention,

the kind that says:

"I am so cute I am not afraid to be uncute!"

I don't get it either, but he's the judge.

Show him what you got, Nermal.

And keep your eyes on the prize.

I'll keep mine on that ticket to Greenland.

[sniffing]

I smell buffet.

It smells like... [sniffing]

thirty-seven items, including carved prime rib,

medium-rare, sweet potatoes and chocolate raspberry soufflé.

[laughing]

Odie, you keep an eye on What's-his-name.

I'm otherwise... occupied.

[Garfield gobbling]

Oh, my stars and garters!

Is that really Nermal?

What is that dire stench?

Nermal, you look like you just crawled out of garbage.

[cute mewing]

[deep mewing]

That is just the kind of thing I wanted to see.

A bold new look!

A new kind of cute.

Pussycat, pussycat!

You just may be my pick. What do you say?

[belching]

[laughing] I love it!

This is... superb.

And I was wrong.

There are thirty-eight items and the prime rib is medium-well.

Cat, give me that lemon meringue pie!

Oh, I'm sorry.

That was the chocolate cream pie.

That was the lemon meringue pie.

Get him! Stop that cat!

Today, we mark a new era in cuteness.

A new standard of thinking outside the cute box.

Imagine.

I'm not only the cutest cat in the whole wide world,

I'm also the uncutest!

And so, it is with great pride,

[lower] and for a medium-sized fee,

I'm proud to name the contest winner as...

[Man] Stop that cat!

[gobbling]

You!

You have destroyed all concepts of the old cuteness.

No!

That's my crown!

I'm uncute! I'm so uncute! Uncute!

Garfield, I was supposed to win!

Look at me! Isn't it uncute to be a sore loser? Hey!

You are an absolute mess.

You don't look so good yourself, fella.

Oh, well. At least I'll have six months of no Nermal.

Please fasten your seat belt.

We will be landing shortly in Greenland,

where the current temperature is degrees below zero.

Fifty degrees below zero?

I don't even want my ice cream that cold.

I'll be alone.

[shivering]

I just have to remember: , miles away from Nermal.

Six whole months of...

of peace and...

quiet.

Hello, Garfield!

Nermal?

No!

You're not Nermal. Who are you?

I'm Thermal!

I won the cutest cat competition in Canada.

And I am Germal!

I won the cutest cat competition in Mexico!

And I am Wermal!

I won the cutest cat competition in Japan!

You mean...

Yes!

[simultaneously] We all won trips

in our local cutest cat competitions!

And we'll all keep you company here for the entire six months.

[screaming]

Caramba!

He's not so very cute.

Yes, how he won is incomprehensible.

[joyful music]

[upbeat music]

[snoring] [clock ringing]

[upbeat music]

It all happened one cold and rainy stormy night.

I know because I was there. [Odie muttering]

Odie, no one cares if you were there.

The point is that I was there.

Where was I? Oh, right.

The nightmare began with the arrival

of some unannounced night visitor.

Who could that be at this time of the night?

[screaming]

[thunderclap]

It's... Aunt Ivy!

Are you going to invite me in, Jonathan,

or am I expected to stand out here

all night in the rain?

I vote for all night out there in the rain.

What a...

delightful surprise, Aunt Ivy.

Please,

come in.

What brings you here?

Suitcase...

Not a good sign.

A tree fell on the power line outside my house.

They said it might take a week before power returns.

So, here I am.

[screaming]

I see you still have those two mangy creatures.

Full of germs, you know.

Yes, yes, full of germs,

very contagious and sickening germs.

Well, at least it covers some of her face.

Harold?

Harold? [screaming]

What's happening with those cute

fuzzy bunny slippers you bought me?

[growling]

They're alive!

[howling]

Ridiculous!

No one with half a brain

could actually wear such pathetic-looking slippers!

Actually, I own a pair just like them.

You just made my point.

That's Aunt Ivy, one.

Jon, nothing.

Bunny slippers!

People should wear sensible slippers,

like my slippers

that look like giant carrots.

[Garfield laughing] [Odie barking]

[screaming]

[yawning]

Aunt Ivy's right. This movie is silly.

Let's call it a night.

Hey! Just when it was getting interesting.

Aunt Ivy, why don't you take my bedroom?

I was already planning on it.

Just make sure those animals sleep outside.

They're filthy and germ-ridden and...

[screaming]

Odie, you fetched my bunny slippers.

Hey, Aunt Ivy,

don't they look like the ones from the movie?

[Aunt Ivy screaming]

I am not going to bed until you get rid of those abominable things!

[sniggering]

Relax, Aunt Ivy, it was just a movie.

Get rid of them!

[sighing] All right.

But bunny slippers can't hurt you.

But having a fat lady fall on you can.

Set one paw in my room,

and you'll be sorry you ever met me!

It's a little late for that.

Night, guys.

Odie, fetch.

[snoring]

[snoring]

[sneezing]

Who's there? Who is it?

[screaming]

Help!

Bunny slippers! Help!

Aunt Ivy, is everything all right?

The bunny slippers are after me!

They're not there anymore.

There's nothing out there, Aunt Ivy.

I know what I saw.

It must be your two mangy pets playing tricks on me.

Garfield and Odie?

Do you really think they'd do something rotten to you?

I must have been dreaming.

I thought I saw...

[sighing] Night, Aunt Ivy.

Good night, guys.

I need to get some sleep.

Maybe these earplugs will...

[yawning] ...make that possible.

[snoring]

[screaming]

Bunny slippers! Help!

The bunny slippers!

[screaming]

[screaming]

Help!

Bunny slippers!

Have to leave so soon?

Well, hurry back, like around the turn of the century.

Hey, you guys deserve an Oscar for the best special effects.

We had a deal.

Oh, sorry.

Here you go, Squeak.

This was a good deal.

You got anyone else you want scared out of here?

Wow, you guys are getting really good at this.

G-- G-- Garfield... We're not doing anything!

[evil growling]

The slippers...

They're-- they're-- they're alive!

[evil growling]

[screaming]

Aunt Ivy?

Garfield? Odie?

Are you trying to tell me something?

Behind you...

[evil growling]

[screaming]

I'm calling the police.

[keys beeping]

-Hello? -[Garfield] Right...

Like they're going to believe a guy who's saying:

"I want to report a pair of evil bunny slippers."

What? Give me the address.

We'll be right over. Jacobs!

We have a on our hands.

[sirens] Evil bunny slippers?

Let's roll.

Be careful, men.

Remember you've been training for just this situation.

Area is secure. Roger.

Your tax dollars at work.

Hey, I know you.

You're that mad scientist who sucked my cat into the TV set.

The animators are reusing another character design

from last season.

Do you know anything about the sinister bunny slippers?

Of course! I'm a mad scientist.

We know everything!

But we kept it secret so as to not cause any discomfort to the population.

How very thoughtful of you.

The bunny slippers only come alive

on blue moon nights, which happen... [keys beeping]

...once every . years.

So bunny slippers come alive on blue moons?

Not only that, they also tend to...

[evil growling]

...grow at an alarmingly exponential rate!

Not to worry.

Daylight will return them to their harmless original selves.

According to my calculation... [keys beeping]

...the sun will rise in exactly five hours.

Five hours?

The town will be destroyed in five hours.

We've got to do something.

[screaming]

Goodness gracious!

This would indeed do the trick.

The all-night tanning salon?

That's on the other side of town.

We need some kind of bait.

There's the perfect bait standing right in front of you.

Why are you all staring

at my beloved carrot slippers?

[evil growling]

Get me down! Let me loose!

Or I'll have you arrested!

[scary music]

[evil growling]

This is it! The all-night tanning salon.

For my vacation,

I'd like to go somewhere that is cute as I am.

But no place is that cute.

Garfield, what are you doing here?

Nermal, you know how I'm always telling you to leave?

Well, this time it's for your own good.

But I haven't finished my tropical-style fur tan.

[evil growling]

Please, I'm just a cute, innocent...

Listen. [mewing]

I think it's time for a little summer glow.

[Garfield] And from their throats came this howl,

a wailing shriek,

half of horror and half of fear,

utterly inhuman and...

Garfield,

you're making this up.

- Absolutely not. - Ask Nermal.

All true, every word of it.

[Garfield] The following day, the police collected

every pair of bunny slippers in the neighborhood.

Just to be on the safe side.

But of course, the best part was...

After what you and that cat of yours did to me,

I'm never coming back, not in a million years.

That means like about eight weeks.

Hey, but I'll take it.

So, until then, we live happily ever after.

Yeah... great, Garfield.

But isn't that another blue moon, like in your story?

Who cares?

The bunny slippers are gone. Right, Odie?

Odie... Odie?

[screaming]

[upbeat music]