02x15 - Penny Henny/Pirate Gold

[bunniefuu]

[snoring] [clock ringing]

[upbeat music]

[cheerful music]

[yawning]

Ah, a new day.

I had a nice, long sleep.

Now, I need to decide what I want to do today.

I think I'll take a nap.

[yawning] Boy, boy, boy... [snoring]

[humming]

Oh, Garfield.

-I should tell you what's... -[snoring]

I don't care.

Nothing,

but nothing is going to get me out of this bed.

Drusilla and Minerva are coming to visit.

[alarm blaring]

[military music]

Bye, bye.

Oh, there's no point in you watching the rest of this episode.

I'm not going to be in it.

-[little girls giggling] -[he screams]

Oh, no.

[little girls giggling]

Hi, Uncle Jon!

I thought he was our cousin!

I don't know, he's some relative.

[little girls giggling]

Hello, Drusilla, hello, Minerva.

No, she's Drusilla.

And she's Minerva.

[together] Where's the kitty cat? We wanna play with the kitty cat!

-We wanna dress him up. -Style his hair!

-We wanna paint his nails. -And braid his tail.

[banjo]

See why I'm not in this episode?

[odie moans] [chattering teeth]

Where's Garfield?

Yeah! We want Garfield!

[together] We want Garfield!

We want Garfield! We want Garfield!

We want Garfield! We want Garfield!

[Jon] Garfield's not here.

He's on vacation or something.

But I'm going to read you a nice story.

[clearing throat] It's the story of Penny Henny.

[giggling happily]

"Once upon a time,

there was a chicken named Penny Henny.

She was a lovely chicken,

but she did have a tendency to worry a lot.

She worried about things that never happened."

You aren't enjoying this story very much, are you?

We came to see Garfield.

We love Garfield.

Put Garfield in the story.

[sigh] OK...

I'll put Garfield in the story.

"So, while Penny Henny

was walking around the farmyard, worrying about this and that...

she didn't notice her friend Garfield the cat

was up in the barn,

enjoying some ears of corn.

[dropping sound]

One of the corncobs hit Penny Henny on the head,

and she came to the scary conclusion...

[squeaking] The sky is falling.

Why did she think that?

Sorry?

Why did she think that?

The sky is the dense gaseous part of the atmosphere or of outer space

visible from the surface of any astronomical object.

[cuckoo clock sound]

It looks nothing like a corncob.

Just listen to the story.

[neighing]

"So, Penny Henny was very worried.

That was when Garfield came down from the barn.

Why so worried, Penny Henny?

Allergic to feathers?

I'm afraid the sky is falling, Garfield.

This chicken has all the brains of a rock.

Or worse, a dog.

Garfield decided to have a little fun with Penny Henny.

If the sky is falling, and I'm not saying it is,

I'm not saying it isn't,

don't you think you should warn the rest of the world?

You're absolutely right, Garfield!

I have to go warn the rest of the world!

The sky is falling!

The sky is falling!

[chuckling] This is too easy...

The sky is falling!

The sky is falling!

[Jon] She ran all over the barnyard

until she came upon her friend, Rusty Rooster.

[snoring]

The sky is falling!

Rusty Rooster! Rusty Rooster!

What is it, Penny Henny?

The sky is falling!

[Garfield laughing]

Looks to me like it's right where it's always been.

[Penny Henny] A piece of it hit me on the head.

[Garfield] We could be having scattered fallings.

A little piece here, a little piece there...

[together] Oh, no!

Before you know it... kaboom!

We have to warn everyone else!

We sure do!

[together] The sky is falling! The sky is falling!

The sky is falling! The sky is falling!

There's a very important lesson to be learned here, folks.

Stupidity is contagious.

[Jon] So, Rusty Rooster and Penny Henny ran around

until they found their friend, Chucky Ducky.

[ Penny and Rusty] The sky is falling! The sky is falling!

The sky is falling?

Yes! A piece of it hit me on the head!

It was the size of a car!

No, I don't believe that.

It's not possible for the sky to fall!

[dropping sound]

[panicked duck screams]

It's true! It's true!

The sky is falling!

We must warn everyone!

[together] The sky is falling! The sky is falling!

What did they say?

[laughing] I haven't a clue.

"And so, Chucky Ducky, Rusty Rooster and Penny Henny..."

Drusilla? Minerva?

[crash]

[together] We're coming!

We got bored and went for snacks.

Like all of today's youth, we have short attention spans.

Mother says that children today insist on immediate gratification.

I don't. I think it takes too long.

[together] Please, continue the story.

[sigh]

Okay, so...

"Penny Henny, Rusty Rooster and Chucky Ducky ran around,

looking for Lucy Goosey and Tommy Turkey and Billy Goaty and Whoopty Doopty

and..." Who comes up with these names?

[all] The sky is falling! The sky is falling!

[Jon] Finally, they ran into Freddie Fox and they told him...

[together] The sky is falling! The sky is falling!

[cackling]

A piece of it just hit me on the head!

It was the size of the Eiffel Tower!

You're in luck, my friends.

I know just the place you can hide until this disaster is over.

Come on.

[Garfield] What ?

[Jon] Freddie Fox led them through the forest to his lair.

It's completely sky-proof and it even has a hot tub."

[dark music]

[eating sounds]

[giggling]

"But the 'hot tub' was actually a pot on Freddie's stove,

large enough to cook several plump birds.

[ominous music]

[he laughs]

Yeah!

[cackling]

[ominous music]

-[door slamming] -[evil laughter]

[panicked squawking]

[Jon] Garfield knew he had to save them. But how?

-Garfield will do it! -Garfield can do anything!

[heroic music]

[Jon] In a nearby garbage dump, he found an old cracked coconut

and the roll out of an old roll of toilet paper.

[they groan]

You can try all you want, lunch.

You're not getting away.

[hunting horn]

What's that?

That's probably nothing.

But it sounded for a second there like the horns in a fox hunt.

[worried cackling]

[hoof sounds]

Galloping horses!

-No, it couldn't possibly be a fox hunt! -[doorbell]

[knocking]

Yes?

Just hold still for a second...

All right, what's the big idea measuring me?

Oh, it's not for me.

There's a guy over there on a horse,

he wants to make a coat for his wife.

A coat?

No!

You won't get me, fox hunters!

No, no! You won't!

I'm gone! You can't have me!

[chuckling]

"So Garfield untied his friends

and even apologized for letting them think the sky was falling.

But he also told them..."

[Garfield] Don't believe stuff like that.

Use a little common sense before you panic.

We'll never panic like that again.

[duck voice] We've learned our lesson.

Thanks, Garfield!

Well you should go to a little bit of schooling

and learning how to quack clear.

Now, I just need to get rid of this stuff.

[Garfield laughing]

[dropping sound]

[all] Oh, no! The sky is falling!

Oh, no! The sky is falling!

The sky is falling! The sky is falling!

[laughing]

[all] The sky is falling! The sky is falling!

[cheerful music]

"And so, in spite of what they'd learned,

Penny Henny, Rusty Rooster and Chucky Ducky

ran off to warn everyone."

[girls giggling]

Now then, what's the moral of this story?

-[gasp] -[girls giggling]

[together] Kitty cat!

Oh, no!

[snoring]

[Odie mutters]

No! Stop! Stop!

Don't do that!

[overlapping chatter]

-[crash] -[overlapping chatter]

[upbeat music]

[Garfield] Haa! No! Stop!

[girls giggling]

[Odie chuckles]

[together] Puppy dog!

[alarm blaring]

[upbeat music]

The moral of this story is, when Drusilla and Minerva are around,

don't come home before the episode is over.

-[girls giggling] -[Odie howls]

They did my lipstick crooked.

[upbeat music]

[snoring] [clock ringing]

[upbeat music]

[soft music]

Odie, I'm late,

but before I go, I have to adjust the refrigerator.

-Do you know where is the manual? -[Odie mutters]

Oh, there it is.

[action music on TV]

Sounds like Garfield's watching a pirate movie or something.

Aye, Captain.

Her majesty's navy has wind of us

and is heading this way.

Shiver me timbers, mate,

and hoist the Jolly Roger.

They'll rue the day they crossed us, cap'n.

[captain] And anyone who crosses us

will find themselves walking the plank!

Yeah!

All done. Be back in a while.

[cheerful music]

Garfield's human is leaving.

Maybe Garfield will take us in outta this rain.

Yeah, and give us something to eat.

Garfield? Share his food?

[scoffing] You have to be kidding.

[Odie humming and muttering]

[sniffing]

[TV] His Majesty's fleet sighted at starboard, cap'n.

[captain] Batten down the hatches, men!

If it's a fight they want,

Captain Scabbard will give it to them!

[Odie mutters]

Wouldn't it be great to be a pirate, Odie?

I can see me now.

Captain Garfield, scourge of the high seas!

Feared by all who fear the fearful.

I wonder if you can order pizza delivered in the middle of the ocean.

And what did you find, mate?

[Odie mutters]

Now, it may look like the instructions for Jon's refrigerator,

but it's really a treasure map!

[Odie mutters]

Yes!

If we follow it, we'll find riches beyond compare.

[dramatic music]

[Odie mutters]

And this may look like our living room,

but really, we're on the deck of our pirate ship.

You see it, Odie?

[Odie mutters]

[intriguing music]

Look, it's a pirate ship!

With a mast and barnacles,

and rugged men who sing "Yo h* h*!"

[chuckles]

[Odie mutters]

Wait a minute, I can't be a pirate yet.

I don't have a pirate hat.

[paper rustle]

[satisfied sigh]

Much better.

-[Odie mutters happily] -I be Cap'n Garfield.

the scurviest bloke whatever buccaneered the bilgewater, I be.

[Odie mutters]

That's how you gotta talk when you're a pirate.

You also have to say "ARRR" a lot.

Try it. ARRRR!

[Odie growls]

No, no, not a RRRR!

ARRR!

First Mate Squeak reporting for duty, Cap'n.

How's this? ARRR!

Now, that's a pirate.

You see the pirate ship now, Odie?

-[Odie barks] -[sound of seagulls]

[epic music]

[Odie mutters]

This is a good lookin' ship you command, Captain.

[Garfield] Hey, if you're going to make it up, make up the best!

All together now, men...

[all growling]

Let's see if there's a way into this place.

Anything to get out of this rain.

What are you complaining about?

You're a Chihuahua. You don't even have hair to get wet.

-[thunder rolling] -[epic music]

Steer the ship, First Mate Squeak!

Batten down the hatches, whatever that means!

Aye aye, your pirateship!

[thunder]

[thunder]

Be brave, men!

Do not wonder whether we'll weather this weather!

[Odie moans sickly]

Where is my faithful crew member, Odie the Nose?

-[thunder rolls] -[dramatic music]

[Odie moans sickly]

What's this?

One of my brave sailors seasick?

[Odie moans sickly]

Buck up, man!

The chef is making salted pork for dinner tonight.

[Odie moans]

And spicy chili...

And Guacamole Dip...

And for dessert, bananas in hot caramel sauce!

What's that sound?

What's that menu?

Let's have a look!

Sail on, First Mate Squeak!

Odie the Nose will soon get his sea legs!

All four of them!

What are they doing?

Uh... Beats me.

Never mind them, let's find food.

[Rottweiler] Okay.

Real quiet now.

[soft music]

-[Odie mutters] -[wind blowing]

It says here we sail due east until we reach...

the freezer compartment?

Oh, wait.

Until we reach the island where the treasure is hidden!

[Squeak laughs]

Land h*!

[ghastly moan]

There we be, mates!

We'll soon be on dry land.

[epic music]

See if you can parallel park this thing in that lagoon, Squeak!

No sweat, Captain!

Watch this.

[screeching]

Hehe!

Nice job, First Mate!

[Squeak] I've had a lot of experience with ships.

My ancestors deserted dozens of sinking ones.

[dropping sound]

Here we are, men!

Let's let them know that pirates have arrived!

ARR!

[Squeak] ARRR!

[Odie] Arrr...

[Odie mutters sadly]

Now to find us some treasure!

We go ten paces due east or north, or whichever way this is.

Then we go fifteen paces some other way.

[Odie worried muttering]

They're marching all over the house.

We can go to the kitchen.

Good, I'm starving...

[satisfied moans]

They keep their refrigerator so well stocked.

With Garfield living here, they'd have to.

Fear not, men!

We're almost to the treasure.

[cheerful music]

This is great!

[eating sounds]

Delicious!

Hey! No wonder Garfield weighs what Garfield weighs.

Haaaaa!

[evil laugh]

A band of rival pirates already found the treasure.

[eating sounds]

[barking]

Unhand that treasure, you scurvy knaves!

Surrender or Captain Garfield will make you walk the plank!

[laughing loudly]

Ye'll not be laughing when I keelhaul the likes of you !

Get on the computer later and find out what keelhauling means,

just in case I have to do it.

If you think you're going to scare us away

from all this food, Garfield...

Captain Garfield to you!

Captain of the dreaded pirate ship, commander of my rugged crew.

You're gonna defeat us with a puppy dog and a mouse?

Not a puppy dog and a mouse.

Pirates!

Rough and merciless pirates!

Do you not see the ship?

The ship that flies the Jolly Roger, sign of adventure and daring?

Hey, I don't see a ship...

Tall of mast,

strong of hull,

its majestic sails billowing...

The ship...

Yes! I see the ship!

[mirage sound]

[epic music]

I see it too!

It's big!

[muttering]

And my crew, look harder!

It's there before you!

Not a mouse and a puppy dog, but pirates!

Bold and strong pirates

who sail the high seas, besting all who stand in their way!

-A whole ship full of them! -[men growling]

-And on my command, they attack! -[scared moaning]

[tumult]

[panicked chatter]

To the attack, my loyal crew of bukaneers!

-[panicked barking] -[tumult]

[panicked barking]

[laughing]

[hubbub]

Great work, captain!

[Odie barks]

Men!

What do you say we go and divide up that treasure?

[dogs barking]

[cheerful music]

[Jon humming]

[door slams]

Well! Anything exciting happened while I was gone, Garfield?

Exciting?

You mean exciting like vanquishing a band of rogue pirates?

That kind of exciting?

I figured I'd find you in front of the TV watching some movie.

Who needs a movie when you've got a good imagination?

[all] ARRRR!

[upbeat music]