04x13 - Against All Tides

[bunniefuu]

-[Garfield snores]

-[alarm clock]

[theme song]
Cap'n Garfield!
Seize the dread pirate Garfield
and throw him in my dungeon!
Guards! Seize them!
Mackookoo?
Stay on what was briefly yours.
I'm glad you agreed to join us

in our quest

for the horn of plenty.

Maybe it's in our best interest
to work together.

The Bermuda Triangle?

Are you sure?


Positive, me bucko.

According to this map,


that's where we'll find

the Horn of Plenty.

Every scallywag knows better

than setting sail

for this cursed triangle!


No one who set sail

for the Bermuda Triangle


ever returned

to tell their tale!

I'm not going!
Same here maybe!
I'm with ye guys. I quit!

Then away with ye,

ye mutinous swabs!

Fairwinds, me cap'n...
Good riddance!

This raft was getting way

too crowded if ye ask me!


Bermuda Triangle,

leagues ahead.

Keep right. Take exit B.
Start paddling!

Just in time

for me morning nap...


Liz... You were about

to tell me something,


right before we escaped

from that giant whale...

Was I?
I can't seem to recall...

Maybe quittin' wasn't

such a great idea.


-Yeah.

-I be thinkin' the same thing.

Lads, look!
Sail h*!
Here! Over here! Help us! Help!
Help us! Hey!

[narrator]
Meanwhile,

our fearless freebooters


had almost reached

their final destination.


The Bermuda Triangle,


an ill-fared stretch of the

North Atlantic Ocean


where countless sailors

mysteriously vanished


over the years,

never to be seen again!


As Cap'n Garfield

and his friends discovered,


it was a spooky place...


No wonder all these ships lost

their way. Look at all this fog!

Yer hearties were right.
This place is cursed.
Look! Over there...
It's the Bermuda Triangle!
[tinkling]

That's the actual

Bermuda Triangle?

Ye've gotta be kiddin' me!
Maybe it's here for a reason.
[dong]
[scream]
[Jon screams]
There it is!
The Horn of Plenty!
And it's mine! All mine!

[Garfield] Come back here ye

treasure-thieving feathered rat!


We must stop him before

he gets to the Horn of Plenty!

[croaky laugh]

Hurry!

Mackookoo's way ahead of us!

Hey, wait fer me!

I've never seen anything

so beautiful...


We'll do the sightseeing later.

This way!

[croak]

The Horn of Plenty

is finally mine!


Wait.

Where's Cap'n Garfield?

Coming!

Ye'd think it'd come with an

instruction manual!


Oh well.

Let's see...

[he clears his throat]
I want an apple.
[choking]
Impressive!

I'm gonna get a lot of moolah

out of this thing!

Watermelon!
Huh?
Bigger watermelon!
[frightened croak]
I'm in trouble now!
Ten more watermelons!
[bell]
[whining]

Side of beef! Two hams!

Steak sandwich!

Cling peaches in heavy sauce!
Gnocchi in Bolognese!
And for dessert... custard pie!
[scream]
Hey, that's rightfully mine.
Fork it over!
No.
[Garfield snarls]

Fourteen course dinner

with all the trimmings!


I have it!

I have the Horn of Plenty! I...

[rumbling]
[screams]
[tinkling]
[screams]
[screams]
[Odie barks]
Odie!
[Mackookoo screams]
Well well.
If it isn't Cap'n Garfield...

[Nermal]

Be careful!

Give me the horn. Now.

-Don't you dare touch her!

-Watermelon!


Take them to the Beauty Queen.

Handsomely!

[laugh]

Any last wish

before I feed ya to the fish?


I'd like the Horn of Plenty

to feed me 'til I'm full.


Can't wait that long.

Once I'm finally rid of ye,


I shall return to England

with the Horn of Plenty!


Verily, I shall become

the most famous kitten

that ever walked the Earth!

In fact, I shall replace

the Queen herself!


Who needs her

when they can have...

"Nermal the Plentiful"?

Liz, while we're still

on this side of the dirt...


-I wanted to tell you that--

-Let's not do last minute

confessions just yet, dear.
[whistling]

Her Majesty’s private fleet?

But how?


The Queen must be here

in the Caribbean...


Oh, she's way closer

than you think...


But you're...

you're really the...

Her... Royal...
Sink me!
If Liz is the Queen of England,
I'm the Queen of...
Never mind.

[narrator]
It was true.

The resemblance between


the woman before him and

the woman on the money


proved it was she.


When my royal lasagna

went missing,

I decided to go undercover

and infiltrate

the Pirating world myself...

[embarrassed whistle]

My Royal Navy fleet

was never far behind.


I kept them informed

of our whereabouts


through daily bottled

messages...


I thought Pirates

were all heartless,

treacherous scoundrels.
I was wrong.

There's also courage,

selflessness

and friendship in your world.

Thanks

for making me a part of it,

if but only for a little while...

And for as long

as its wondrous powers endure,


this magical artifact

shall be used

to feed the hungry.
That would be us.

Your Majesty,

I can explain everything!

As for Commodore Nermal,

such treason

and insufferable arrogance

deserves a special punishment.

Unfortunately, nothing

pops to mind right this very minute...


[Nermal] Help!

Somebody let me out of here!

I'm really famous...

[narrator]
And so it was that

the insufferable Commodore


was shipped far, far away...


to a place the locals called

Abu Dhabi...


Gee,

I wonder whose idea that was.


[narrator]
Mackookoo and

his pirate were sentenced


to a long, long time

in a room with bars.

[groaning]

It's great to be locked up

with a brilliant conversationalist.


[narrator]
But because

of their heroism, Captain Garfield


and his canine companion

received a royal pardon


for all acts of piracy.


They were thus present

when Sir Arbuckle and The Queen


were wed...

Do you, Your Majesty,
take this man as your king?
I do.
And do you, Sir Arbuckle,
take this woman as your queen?
I do.

I now pronounce you

a royal wedding.

[cheers]

Doesn't the bride

look beautiful?

All brides look beautiful.

She'd be better looking

with a tail.

True.

[narrator]
And they

lived happily ever after...

[the narrator sobs]

I'm sorry.

I always cry at weddings.

[he blows his nose]

As for Cap'n Garfield and Odie...


they renounced their pirating

ways to become


the royal,

pampered pets and --

Never mind us.

This whole thing needs

a closing song.

Ladies... will you favor us?
We thought you'd never ask.

♪And so it seems

That life is grand♪


♪With Nermal in another land♪


♪And Garfield has promised Liz

To get out of the pirate biz♪


♪The Queen has found

The perfect mate♪


♪And it was truly worth the wait♪


♪So join us now

And we will celebrate♪

[cheering]

♪Yo!

We say yo!♪


♪We say yo!

We say yo!♪


♪Bachelorhood

I once thought would♪


♪Give me a life

That's very good♪


♪But being wed

To you instead♪


♪Will be all that the poets said♪


♪Bachelorhood

He once thought would♪


♪Give him a life

That's very good♪


♪But being wed

To her instead♪


♪Will be all that the poets said

Will be all that the poets said♪


♪Will be all that the poets said♪

I love weddings.

Especially when they're catered

by the Horn of Plenty.

Chicken chow mein.
Pizza with no anchovies.
Meatball sandwich.
Lemme have a couple of tacos.
I like... I can eat...

[Jon]

Garfield!

You've done it this time!

I prepared a wonderful dinner

for tonight


and you ate the entire thing

for lunch!

I had to!

I ate what you made for lunch

for breakfast!


Don't blame me

because you're a meal behind.

[barking]

[Jon] Do you know what I'm going to do

when I get my hands on you?


Yes.

That's why I'm running!


Don't go into the kitchen!

I just washed the floor...

[screaming]
[barking]

So now, what are we

going to do for dinner?

Vito's?

Is there any point

in me objecting?

Let's go to Vito's...
Vito's. What a fine idea.
Almost there, guys.
"Almost" doesn't get you pizza.
[barking]

[Jon] Wow!

Look at all the people


waiting to get into

Mama Meaney's pizzeria.


Think how long the line would be

if the food there was any good.


If that place is crowded,

I'll bet Vito's is packed.

[bell]

Vito...

where are all your customers?


Over at Mama Meaney's.

Where else?


Business has been terrible

for weeks.

Months!
[bark]
That's Vito's girlfriend, Angelica.

She was in an episode

season before last.

But Vito... Why?

Your food is so good

and Mama Meaney's is so... so...


[Garfield]

I'll tell you how bad it is.

I won't eat it.
Well, I won't have seconds...
Mama Meaney...
He steals customers away from me

and every great artist

of Italian food around the world.


It is his commercials.

They are dazzling. Hypnotic.


Gee,

I'd like to see one of those.


-When is one on?

-When is one not on?


There's probably one on TV

right this minute.


For the best Italian food in the world,

go to Mama Meaney's!


Want the best Italian food

anywhere?


Then go see Mama Meany!


♪If you are craving

Some great fettucine♪


♪You need to visit

Your friend Mama Meany♪


♪Oh, oh Mama Meany♪


♪Oh, oh Mama Mama Meany♪


♪While you are there,

Try these great raviolis♪


♪And for dessert,

Have a dozen cannolis♪


♪For great tortellini♪


♪Oh h*, it's Mama Meany♪


-Oh, Mama Meany.

-Rigatoni.


-Oh, Mama Meany.

-Cannelloni.


-Oh, Mama Meany.

-Macaroni.

All major credit cards accepted!

♪Mama Meany, Mama Meany♪


♪Mama Mama Mama

Mama Mama Meany♪


♪For the best linguini♪


♪Oh h*, it's Mama Meany♪

Call me Mama!

Coming up next...

Eddie Gourmand's World of Food!


Join Eddie as he shows you

the most amazing tree in the world,


a tree that grows las--


Gee... We ought to go

eat at Mama Meaney's.

The food looks so good.
[moaning]
You see what happens?

Even you forget

what good Italian cooking is like.

But Vito's pizza is better!

All the little restaurants

are going out of business...


or Mama Meaney

is taking them over.


-[bell]

-That's because they're smart.


And if you're smart,

you'll take my offer


and sell me this place before

it winds up being a dry cleaner.


-Mama Meany!

-Every pound of him!

No, Signore Meaney.

Vito is not selling

his
ristorante
to you.

Not now, not ever.
We'll see about that.
Gruber! Louie!
Right here, Mr. Meaney.
Yeah. Right here, Mr. Meaney.

Your special operatives

are right here to do whatever--

Louie, shut up!

-I'm shutting up.

-Oh...


I've told you boys

a thousand times.

Call me Mama.
Yes, Mama.

Show him my offer

for this failing restaurant.

Yes, Mama.

I do not care what you offer me.

Vito is an artist.


Vito paints in marinara.

Vito sculpts in pasta.


I will not sell out

for any amount of money.


-Vito!

-Sell me the place and it's yours.

What do you say?
I will tell you what I say...
I say...

Get out of my
ristorante
!

[groaning]
Come on, Odester.

Looks like this place

has become self-service.


[Vito] This is my
ristorante


and it will never

be your
ristorante
.

Get out, get out and stay out!

If I can't buy him, the next best thing

is to put him out of business.

Gruber, do what you have to.
I'm going to go inspect

one of my thousands

of restaurants worldwide.

Yes sir, Mama.
Louie! The rats!
Oh, boy! The rats!
Hello? Board of Health?

I'd like to report a restaurant

that's full of rats.

It's a major health hazard.

When did I first notice this?

Oh, in about two minutes.

You'll be right over? Good.

Okay, come on, guys!

You have work to do.

Angelica, my love.

You do believe I am right

to turn down all that money...


-Vito...

-You do not believe I am right.

You are a fine man, Vito.

It's just... we have not had one

customer eating here for days...


We have not had one human

customer eating here for days...


I do not give up.

I just have to cook so well


that in spite of

Mama Meaney's advertising,


people will flock here.

What do you say to that?

I say...
[screaming]
Rats!

"Rats?" There has never

been a rat in Vito's Pizzeria.

And there never will be.

I will get you more bread

in one moment,
signore
.

I do not understand why she...
Hey, will you hold it down?

There are animals here

trying to eat.


Vito! There are rats running

all over your restaurant!

Dozens of them!

A cat! I need to find a cat

to get rid of these rodents.


Where am I going

to find a cat?


[Garfield]

Sorry...

I don't do that kind of work.
[siren]
[gasp]

Vito! The inspector

from the Board of Health

just pulled up outside!
The Health Inspector!

If he comes in here

and sees all these rats...

Garfield's great at rodents.

It's been years since I've seen

a single mouse in our home.

You don't know where to look.

Garfield! We'll keep

the Health Inspector outside


while you get rid of the rats.

Come on, Vito.

Hey, you.

Any chance of you guys

all leaving if I ask politely?

Uh... No.

Odie,

I'm going to do what I can here


but I need to send you out

on a special mission.


All right now.

Listen carefully...


But I'm just here

to check on a report

of rats in your restaurant.

Rats in my
ristorante
?


No! You did not see

any rats inside,


did you,
Signore
Arbuckle?


Rats? In there?

Oh, no.


I saw a lot of cheese

but... no rats.

[barking]

Maybe I can scare them

out of here.


Yawn!

Are you quite finished?

Not bad.
[moaning]

If Garfield needs me,

I'm there!

Give me a lift!
Hiyo, Odie!
Away!
[barking]

It's no use. I wasn't cut out

to chase anything that moves


faster than a grilled

cheese sandwich.

[singing in Italian]

I'm sorry.

I'd like to stay and listen


but I have to go inside

and look for rats.

Just one more aria, please.

Lennie!

I thought you were


going to get out of the

restaurant closing business.


Squeak, what do you want?

I'm a rat.


Let's you and me have a little

vermin to vermin talk.

Listen, change is good but...

Enough of this!

I'm going in to look for rats.


And if I see so much as one rat,

I'm closing this place down.

[scream]
[radar sound]

What was that complaint about?

There are no rats in here.

There... aren't?

I mean, there aren't.

Of course.


There has never been a rat

in Vito's
ristorante
.


Good work, Squeak. How'd you get

your friend to go along with it?


Well...

I promised him twenty pizzas.


Yeah. Thanks for sharing half

your lunch with us, Garfield.

[groan]
I'm going to look around a bit

but I can tell there have

never been any rats in here.

Your restaurant is saved, Vito.

Not from bankruptcy.

I still have no customers!

I've been thinking...

You could get Eddie Gourmand

to give you a great review.


His new TV show is seen

all over the world.


It's worth a try. His show

is on right this minute.


On my show tonight, people,

I'm going to tell you about


the most amazing tree

in the world!


Tree?

Who cares about a tree?

[moaning]
Well, of course, you're a dog.

But there's nothing about trees

I find interesting.


This is a tree that grows...

wait for it...

lasagna!
Lasagna?
Oh, I love trees!

And I'll tell you all about

the lasagna tree

right after this commercial.

You're not going to stop

for a commercial now?