04x15 - Lasagna Tree

[bunniefuu]

-[Garfield snores]

-[alarm clock]

[theme song]

I'm talking with

the chief lasagna farmer here,


Nunzio Cappelletti.


My worthless, dishonest

cousin Nunzio!

We're going to Italy.

[Jon] This is where

Vito's cousin used to work?

Here is the address.

It must be

where the lasagna tree is.


When you get the tree,

bring it to me here.


Mama Meaney's men

are following you.

They are?

It's... It's the most beautiful

thing I ever saw!

Nunzio!
Mama!

Mama,

why are you living here


with this worthless,

dishonest cousin of mine?

Oh, Nunzio was like that
but he's changed.
He's a good boy now.
Maybe he's reformed.
Human beings do change, Vito.
Human beings do. Not him.

Maybe we should go

into the house

to discuss of this.

I'm going to do another live

broadcast to the entire world

telling them about the Lasagna Tree
and you, Garfield.
You're going to be on it.
[puzzled muttering]
Why does he want me on his show?

Do the words

"World's Foremost Authority


on Lasagna"

mean anything to you?

There is it, Louie.

Fly us back

to Mama Meaney's plant

and let's pick up a truck.
We're gonna steal it

and then Mama's scientists

can figure out a way to clone it


and then Mama Meaney can put

every other Italian restaurant


in the world

out of business and...


-Shut up, Louie.

-I'm shutting up.

This is my robotic cameraman.

He's my entire crew

when I do my broadcasts.

[Garfield] Uh?
He beams my splendid face

to millions of TV sets

and smartphones

and not-so-smartphones.

I just press "Transmit"

on my little remote here...


Transmission to satellite started.


That's right.


Frame a shot

that makes me look gorgeous.

[laugh]

Oh, wait.

I need my little microphone.


Okay, tell me

when we're on the air.


Transmission

has already commenced.


What does that mean?


You're on.


Oh. I'm on.


I'm on?


Oh, hello, food fanciers.


This is your old pal

Eddie Gourmand


coming to you live

from I-Can't-Tell-You-Where

with more about the incredible

- wait for it -

Lasagna Tree!

Hurry it up.

The tree's getting stale.


We're speaking

with the noted lasagna expert,


Garfield Cat.


Garfield, you've had a chance

to actually taste the lasagna


that grows here

on the Lasagna Tree.


Give my viewers

your unbiased opinion.


Is this the best lasagna

you've ever had?


There you have it,

direct from Garfield's mouth


which, incidentally, a lot

of lasagna has passed through.

I mean a lot.

It is the best.

Take it from me.


♪My name is Eddie Gourmand

I’m a star to be precise♪


♪People are very fond

Of my masterful advice♪


♪I'm so wise I advise

Every king and far beyond♪


♪Just do what I say

It's the only way♪


♪Heed my words and do not delay♪


♪Just do what I say

In your work or play♪


♪I'm a genius and a fine gourmet♪


♪Folks say, "Eddie Gourmand"

We have put our trust in you."♪


♪They know that I'll respond

With exactly what to do♪


♪In a fix I do tricks

Like I have a magic wand♪


♪Just do what I say

What my words convey♪


♪If you don't

You'll be led astray♪


♪Just do what I say

Better start today♪


♪I'm a genius and a fine gourmet♪


♪If life's in disarray

If things are bleak and gray♪


♪Rise up above the fray

Listen and then obey♪


♪Just do as I say♪


♪I'm a genius and a fine gourmet♪


I'll be right back

after this commercial.


Blanche, call

the advertising department


and tell them not to let Eddie

sing ever again.


That includes

at home in the shower.


[Blanche]
Yes, Mama.


And tell Gruber and Louie

I want that Lasagna Tree

and I want it now.

[Blanche]
Yes, Mama.


I believe

they're working on it now.

There it is, Odie.

Isn't it the most amazing thing

you've ever seen?

Yummy, yummy, yummy.
Odie,

I think we should combine my two

favorite things in the world:

food and sleep.

Yes.

Let's sleep in the Lasagna Tree.

Shhh!
I know how to be quiet, Gruber.

My mommy taught me

how to be quiet.


She said, "Son,

you need to be quiet"


and I knew what she meant

because...


-Shut up, Louie.

-I'm shutting up.

Come on, boy.

I know dogs

don't usually climb trees

but you can do it.
Nice work.
We'll nap until it's lunchtime.
We'll eat parts of the tree.

And then

we'll nap in it some more.

I may never want to leave here.
[Garfield and Odie snore]

[Nunzio] Vito, why can't you believe

I've changed?


Because I haven't seen you

do anything

for anyone but yourself. Ever.
Calm down, boys.
I love both of you.
Vito,
I taught you to be a fine chef
and you became one.
I am so proud of you.
And Nunzio...if not for you,

we would not have

the Lasagna Tree


and all the wonderful attention

it will give to my cooking.


Nunzio is responsible

for the Lasagna Tree?

[Louie screams]
Shhh!
[snores]
Where are we going?

Can we swing

by a drive-in for burgers ?

[car horn]

[Gruber] You know, the lasagna that grows

on this tree is really terrific.

[Louie] Yeah.

Hey, Mama. How come

you don't try selling good food

like this in your restaurants?
I'm shuttin' up.
It is good. Too good.

Since Eddie Gourmand

started broadcasting about it,


word has spread throughout

the world of Italian cooking.


I'll have waffles

and more waffles for breakfast.

[Odie grumbles]
What? Where are we?

Everyone wants the secret

of this great lasagna

and if they get it,

my worldwide restaurant empire

is in deep trouble.

Call in my scientists.

Tell them to analyze this tree

and figure out its secret.

Quiet Odie.

If they find us, they'll be

planting us in the ground

instead of this tree.
[Jon] I can't believe it!

Someone just came here

while we were inside,

dug it up and took it.

We must get it back!

Call the police!


Let 'em take it.

We can just make another one.


But won't it take months,

even years

to grow another Lasagna Tree?

We didn't grow this one.

I made it.

[Gasps]
Come on.

You didn't really believe

lasagna grows on trees, did you?


-Oh, no. I knew all along.

-I wasn't fooled.

[Angelica laughs]

I just took the lasagnas

your mama made, Vito,


and stapled them

onto one of the trees here.


Then I called Eddie Gourmand

and let him in on it.


You haven't changed one bit,

Nunzio.

It's all a trick!
Another of your crooked schemes.
No...it's a hoax.

To get attention

for Mama's great lasagna recipe.


We've had thousands of people

call and email!

They all want the recipe.
And it's so wonderful.

When Eddie gives it out

on his show,

everyone will pay attention.

You're just going to give

the recipe away?

Why not?

Then everyone

can make wonderful lasagna.


It's just Mama's way to making

the world a little bit better.

Maybe...
Maybe I had you wrong, Nunzio.
So what I want to know is...
where is the lasagna tree now?

[scientist] The lasagna does not seem

to be organic to the tree doctor.

[scientist] No doctor!

These lasagnas, they didn't

grow on these branches.

They appear to be stapled on.

Can you make out

what they're saying?

Me neither.
But we've got to get out of here
and rescue the Lasagna Tree.

Then you concur

with my conclusion


that the alleged lasagna tree

is a fake.

Yes I do, Doctor.

You should go

tell Mama Meaney that.

No, you should go tell him.
No, you should go tell him.
No, you should go tell him.
No, you should go tell him.
No, you should go tell him.
We're in some sort of factory

where Mama Meaney

makes his lousy Italian food.

Keep pushing, Odie.
No, you should go tell him.
No, you should go tell him.
No, you should go tell him.
No, we can't just leave it here.

Abandon the Lasagna Tree?

Never.


We can't let it

get away from us.

It's getting away from us!
No, you should go tell him.
No, you should go tell him.
What if we both go tell him?
No, you should go tell him.
No, you should go tell him.
[they scream]
[together] It's gone!
There's no sign of it.
Go tell Mama Meaney

the Lasagna Tree

has been stolen.

No, you should go tell him.
Okay, now what do we do?
[Odie] I don't know.
I don't know, either.

Let's see what those scientists

of mine have come up with.


Hey...

Isn't that the Lasagna Tree

coming this way?
[screams]

Sorry! I don't know

how to steer a lasagna tree!

[screams]

There!

That'll keep them out.


Unfortunately,

it will also keep us in.


I'm talking with the chief

lasagna farmer here.


Nunzio Cappelletti.


My worthless,

dishonest cousin Nunzio!


[Vito] Now I have a lead on

where to find the lasagna tree.


[Mama Meany]

I want that lasagna tree.


You're not going

to get in my way.

When you get the tree,

bring it to me here.


[scientist]
My conclusion


is that the alleged

lasagna tree is a fake.

We've got to get out of here

and rescue the lasagna tree.

There! That will keep them out.

Unfortunately,

it will also keep us in.

They went in there, boss.
It's locked.
Not for long it isn't.

Well, at least

there's no way they can get in.


We're trapped.

There's no way out.

We just have to hope, Odie.

Hope that there's another

chapter after this one.

They're in there and...
They're not getting away.

Sooner or later,

he's going to get in here.

He'll get us.

But we can make sure

he never gets the Lasagna Tree.

[mutters] How?
By eating the Lasagna Tree!
Come on.
Eat faster!

Odie, I never thought

I'd say this


but I never want to eat lasagna

again for the rest of my life.

[Odie moans]

And you can hold me to that

until...

What time is dinner?
They ate all the lasagna.

Now, how are the scientists

going to figure out

the secret of the tree?
You tell him.
No, you tell him.
Let's tell him together.

[both scientists]

The Lasagna Tree is a fake.


Someone just stapled lasagnas

on a tree.

That would really disappoint me.

If I had any plans

to ever eat lasagna again.

[moans]

So...

What are you fixin' to do, Mama?

It was great lasagna.
I want the recipe for it
and I know exactly how to get it.

[Jon] OK, what is it you want,

Mr. Meaney?


[Mr. Meaney]

It's very simple.


I want the recipe

for Mama Cappelletti's lasagna.

I have your cat and dog here.

Do not under any circumstances

give him the recipe!


If you want them back,

give me the recipe.


Under those circumstances,

give him the recipe!


Here you are,
Signore
Meaney.

My private recipe

for the finest lasagna

in the world.


But we're going to give

that recipe to the entire world.


That is why she doesn't mind

giving it to him.


All right.

Let the cat and dog go.

Come on, Odie...

I have an idea

but it's mean and devious


and it's a rotten thing

to do to anyone.

[Odie mutters]
Of course I'm going to do it.
With this lasagna recipe,

I'll be able

to drive out of business


every Italian restaurant

in the world I don't own,

starting with yours Vito.
You're a terrible man, Meaney.
An awful man.

I agree and I ought to know.

I used to be like you.


I don't care

what anyone thinks of me

as long as I'm rich.

If I ever need respect,

I can just buy it.


Well, I for one

will never respect you.


The food in your restaurants

is awful.


Transmission to satellite started.


I know the food

in my restaurants is awful.


But I also know

most people are too stupid


to know the difference.


I keep lowering quality


and raising prices

and still those idiots come in

and eat the lousy pasta I serve.
Chad, what's this show?

I turned on the TV

to watch Eddie Gourmand


and this enormous,

obnoxious guy is on.


[Mama Meaney]

Did you know my chicken parmesan


contains neither chicken

nor parmesan?


That's absolutely true.

My word!

This bloke is popping up in chat

windows all over the Internet!


[Mama Meaney]

My fettuccine Alfredo


contains fake fettuccine

and the guy who makes it


is not named Alfredo.


It doesn't make a bit

of difference to my customers.


It's that guy with the annoying

commercials, Mama Meaney.

And I have the strangest feeling

that Garfield

has something to do with this.


[Mama Meaney]
I can serve

the lousiest product to people


but if I spend enough money

on advertising,


they simply eat it up.


You wouldn't believe

how much money I make


selling this garbage.

[people chatting]

[Mama Meaney]

Believe me. Anyone who'd eat


at a Mama Meaney's restaurant

has no taste


and probably no brains.

This is very disturbing.
What?

That Mama Meaney just

confessed to the whole world

that his restaurants are lousy?
No.

That in this whole

Lasagna Tree episode,


this was the only scene

with me in it.


I'm gonna get my agent

on the phone!

I deserve a spin-off!

[Mama Meaney]

So now that I have this recipe,


I'll have my staff figure out

how to make it cheaper.

My goodness!

My robotic cameraman

seems to be on


and broadcasting this

all over the world.

[gasp]
[laugh]
All over the world?
[laugh]
Shut up, Mama!
I'm shuttin' up.
Too late.
Good riddance to him!

Now, you all get ready.

I'm going to make you


the best dinner

you ever had in your lives!


Your lasagna tree.

Very clever.


And a very good thing to do

for Mama.

Si, I told you I'd changed.
[laugh]

Well, that's just about

the end of our story.


But I've got a few minutes

before dinner will be ready

so let me tell you

what I think the long-term

effects of all this will be.

Here, Smiley.
Show them what I have in mind.

Projecting flash-forward.


[Garfield]

No one who saw that broadcast


is ever going to set foot

in a Mama Meaney's again.


So you can figure

that most of them will go


out of business.

Ha ha!

Please, eat here. Haven't you

seen our commercials?


Might as well throw all the food

away and close the place.


You made that decision

at a good time.

Here comes the garbage truck.
Hi, Mama!

[Gruber] These are the only jobs

we could get after you fired us.


[Louie] Yeah! We haven't

changed professions that much.


We started out

hauling your food around

and now we're hauling garbage
which is what we always...
Shut up, Louie.
I'm shutting up.

No, I'm not.

We're hauling garbage

because your food is garbage.

All except for the ravioli

which is trash


and minestrone

which is junk and...


[Garfield]
And where will everyone go

for pizza and pasta then?


Why, to Vito's of course!


or to other good little

restaurants all over the world.


But at Vito's,

I see them being very busy.


Not too busy

to make lasagna for me


according to

Mama Cappelletti's recipe,


but pretty busy.


Vito!

We need more garlic bread!


[Garfield]
They may even

have to take on more help.


Nunzio!

More breadsticks to table !


Just as soon as I take this

pizza to table eight, cousin!

Now, you may be wondering.

Couldn't Mama Meaney

have saved his empire


by using

Mama Cappelletti's recipe


to make

the best lasagna in the world?

[muttering]
See? He's wondering that, too.
The answer is no.

Nope. First of all,

you know Mama Meaney.

He wouldn't do it right.

He'd use cheap ingredients

and cheaper labor.


But even if he used

the same ingredients,

it wouldn't turn out the same.

Look at how

Mama Cappelletti cooks.


She stands there all day

over the stove,


cooking for people

she cares about.


She tastes the sauce

and to make it perfect,


she adds a little of this

and a pinch of that,


because it has to be right

for her family,

for her guests.

[mutters]

What is it?

It sounds corny I know,
but she adds love.

And that, Odie,

is the secret of great cooking.


And most other things

in the world, for that matter.


Dinner will be ready

in half an hour, everyone.

A half hour?
That's tough love.
I can't wait a half hour to eat.

It's too bad lasagna

doesn't really grow on trees.


It would come in handy

at time like this

when you craved a snack.

But I'll let you in

on a little secret

if you promise not to tell.
[mutters] I promise!
[Odie barks]
Shhh!

Burritos grow on bushes.

Here, have one.

[music]

♪We are all now gathered here

As friend and family♪


♪All thanks to a little fib

Called the Lasagna Tree♪


♪On this topic we all agree♪


♪The Lasagna Tree

Brought us to Italy♪


♪Vito and I

Now wonder why♪


♪We let differences intensify♪


♪I'm happy that

Thanks to this cat♪


♪Mama Meany's plans

Have fallen flat♪


♪I missed seeing Mama♪


♪And I think that she missed me♪

[Odie barks in rhythm]

♪I missed seeing Mama

And I think that she missed me♪


♪They were reunited

Due to the Lasagna Tree♪


♪We're as happy as we can be♪


♪Cause the Lasagna Tree

Brought us to Italy♪


♪We're together as you can see♪


♪Let us thank the Lasagna Tree♪

[Odie barks in rhythm]
[unclear chatting]

[Eddie]

I'm starved, by the way.

[applause]
Everyone is having such a good time.
I hope it doesn't spoil things

when they find out I ate everything

to the next three courses.

And dessert.