01x01 - Doris Flores Gorgeous/Underwater Boy

[bunniefuu]

[BUBBLING]

One, two, three, four

Who's that knocking at my door?

Five, six, seven, eight

Hurry up and don't be late

Nine, ten, eleven, twelve

Got a secret I can't tell

Flap your fins, flip your tail

School's out, ring the bell

La la la la

Ooh

La la la la

Ooh

La la la la

Ooh

La la la la

One, two, three, four

Who's that knocking at my door?

Five, six, seven, eight

Hurry up and don't be late

Nine, ten, eleven, twelve

Got a secret I can't tell

Flap your fins, flip your tail

School's out, ring the bell!

[SQUEAKS]

[SQUEAKING]

Say, Oscar,
how big do you think that pipe is?

Uh, I don't know.
Maybe as wide as a fish head.

Yeah.
Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

-Hey, guys.
-MILO AND OSCAR: Hey, Bea.

So, Bea, um,
are you still coming over tonight

to watch that new show
Nerd Fish, Lazy Fish?

Oh, I'd love to,
but I'm gonna have to take a rain check.

-Tonight I'm going on a date.
-Date?

Yeah, Bo Gregory just asked me out.

-We're going on a hayride.
-I like tractors pretty good.

Oh, isn't he charming?

I'll catch you guys later.

[RINGING]

So do you think anyone's
ever stuck their head in that pipe before?

Uh, probably not, bro.

There's really no good reason
for someone to do that.

Hmm.

-Hey, guys.
-MILO AND OSCAR: Hey, Bea.

Uh, you want to play some
Banjo Rockstar this afternoon?

Oh, that looks like a lot of fun,

but I'm going to have to take
another rain check.

-I'm going on another date this afternoon.
-Another date?

I know. It's crazy, right?

Hugh Edmundson just asked me to go
to the National Kelp Museum with him.

Bonjour.

Oh, isn't he super interesting?

Gotta run. Toodles!

So, uh, Bea, once the fire fish
dislodges Milo's head from the pipe,

do... do you want to go grab lunch?

Rain check!

Today I'm going
on a lunch date with... um...

James Sardine.

Wow, Bea, you've been going on
a lot of dates lately.

[SAD LAUGHTER]

But that's what you're supposed to do
in high school, Oscar.

In fact, I'm doing so much dating,

now I have to fit in dates
for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Ooh ooh! You go, fish!

Thanks, Milo.

Maybe the three of us
can grab food some other time?

Yeah, uh, sounds good.

-[CAR HORN PLAYS TUNE]
-Ooh, here comes James Sardine.

Isn't he such a rebel?

See you, guys.

[SIGHS]

Well, I guess it's just you and me
for lunch today, bro.

Yeah, about lunch today...

So now you're rain-checking me
to go on dates?

Yes. But it's no biggie, bro.

Some of us are just ready a little sooner
to do mature stuff like dating.

Great. I guess I'm the only
single fish at this school.

I'm still on the dating market.

[GROANING]

-[SCREAMS]
-Now let's start our first date off right.

[GROANS]

Sorry, Clamantha, but I can't date you.

I can't date you because I... I...

I already have a girlfriend. A girlfriend.

Then I wouldn't have to worry
about going on dates or being single.

Yeah. Uh, sorry, Clamantha.

I completely forgot
that I have a girlfriend. [LAUGHS]

I'll get that kiss someday, Oscar!

Hey, guys, you want to hang out
and watch some TV tonight?

-Well, actually...
-I'm gonna have to...

Rain checks! [LAUGHS] I mean...

I'm sorry, but I am going
to have to give you guys rain checks

because I have a girlfriend now.

-Awesome.
-[GASPS]

My bro's got a girlfriend?

That's great, Oscar.

Yeah, my girlfriend's really nice
and she likes all the things that I like.

-What's her name?
-What?

-What's your girlfriend's name?
-You want to know her name. It's uh...

uh... door.

-You mean Doris?
-Yeah, Doris.

Doris floor... Ez.

Yeah, that's it! That's her name.
Doris Flores Gorgeous.

The girl in my head...
I mean, of my dreams.

She's probably
always sending you love letters, right?

And baking you delicious love treats.

And you guys probably call
and talk to each other for hours.

Yeah. We do romantic junk.

[GROANS]

[KISSES]

Hey, whose love letters
are all over the floor?

Oh, how did my love letters
from Doris Flores Gorgeous get out here?

-[TIMER TICKING]
-[OVEN DINGS]

Hey, Oscar,
you're gonna spoil your dinner.

Sorry, bro.
I was just eating delicious sweets

that Doris Flores Gorgeous made for me.
[CHUCKLES]

[LINE RINGING]

-[RINGING]
-Hey! Why is the phone ringing?

[PANTING] I got it.

Hello? Oh, hey, Doris Flores Gorgeous.

You wanna talk for hours, you say?

Have you seen Oscar today?

He's probably with Doris Flores Gorgeous.

Milo, Oscar and Doris
are getting pretty serious, right?

-Yeah.
-Well, what kind of best friends

don't know, nor have met,

their other best friend's
serious girlfriend?

[GASPS] Bad best friends.

[WHISPERS] Terrible best friends.

Hey, guys, check out the sweater
Doris Flores Gorgeous made for me.

-Tell us about Doris!
-Huh?

Uh, what Milo is trying to say is,

um, since Doris
is such a big part of your life,

we'd like to know more about her.

Uh, okay. [STUTTERS]
What do you want to know?

-What's she look like?
-She-she-she-she...

She's about five-fish-feet tall.

She's got shiny gold hair.

Um, she's got big beautiful red lips
and a red dress to match,

and she's got a...

heart-shaped birthmark
on her arm. That's it.

Oh, yeah, she's also... she's all purple.

Wow, Oscar, I can see her now.

-So when do we meet Doris?
-Never!

Uh, I mean, see, the thing is,
Doris lives far away, in, uh...

Fish Niagara Falls, yeah.

And we can't visit each other
anymore because...

bus prices got really expensive.

Doris Flores must miss you so much.

She does. In fact, every day at noon,
Doris waits at the falls,

hoping that someday
bus prices will go down

so that we can see each other again.

[SOBS] That is so tragic.

[WAILS]

Yeah, well, anyways, I should go.

See you guys later.

Ugh, poor Oscar and Doris.

Torn apart by expensive bus fare.

We cannot let this happen, Bea.

We need to get Oscar
and Doris back together.

But how are we going to do that?

[HUMMING]

-[SHRIEKS]
-[HORN HONKS]

[STUTTERS]
What are you guys doing?

We're here to reunite you
with Doris Flores Gorgeous.

-What?
-Come on, Oscar.

If we leave now, we can make it
to Fish Niagara Falls by noon.

Are you guys crazy?
I mean, where did you even get this truck?

Bo Gregory let us borrow his truck.

I use this truck to haul dirt.
You can use it to haul love.

Thanks, Bo Gregory.

Uh, guys, I appreciate what you're doing,
but I don't think this is a good...

Quick, Bea, grab his tail.

Oh, wait, guys, stop!

[MILO AND BEA CHEERING]

[MILO LAUGHING]

Whoo-hoo!

Oh. This is so romantic.

I am going to write a pop song about this.

And I can have a flute solo.

Uh, guys, I think we need to go back.

I really, really need to go
to the bathroom right now.

-MILO: Here you go, bro.
-Uh, thanks.

[SCREAMS] Milo!

Oh, well, thanks for trying, guys.

I guess we should turn around
and go home.

Oscar, Doris Flores is just
across that unfinished bridge

waiting for you.

Yeah, but the bridge is out,

unless we try to jump it.

[STUTTERS]
Which we're not gonna do.

For Doris Flores Gorgeous.

-Huh?
-For Doris Flores Gorgeous.

-Guys!
-[TIRES SCREECH]

MILO AND BEA:
For Doris Flores Gorgeous!

-For Doris Flores Gorgeous!
-[SCREAMING]

[ALL SCREAMING]

-We're here!
-BEA: Oh, Fish Niagara Falls.

Wow, it's just so beautiful.

Say, guys, do you think anyone's
ever tried to fit their whole head

in one of those barrels before?

Hey, Oscar, before Doris gets here,
I just wanted to tell you

how super happy I am for the two of you.

It's really hard to find someone
you really, really like.

But, Bea, you're always
finding guys you really like.

But it's nothing serious, Oscar.

It's just dating. I guess you can say

that I'm still looking
for that certain fish

that fits me just right.

-[CLOCK CHIMES]
-[BEA GASPS]

Doris is gonna be here any second.

[GASPS] I'm getting all excited-y.

[GROANS] Uh, guys,

Doris isn't coming to meet me.

-Why not, Oscar?
-Doris Flores Gorgeous isn't rea...

DORIS: I'm here, my love.

[ALL GASP]

-Hello, Oscar.
-Uh...

Hi, Doris Flores Gorgeous.

Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my gosh. This is so great!

Uh, come on, Milo.
Let's give these two some privacy.

Oh, Oscar, I never thought
this day would come.

Me neither?

Oscar, I dreamt about you every night

and waited for you every noon.

Uh, to be perfectly honest
with you, Doris,

I'm pretty sure
I made you up in my head.

Then tell me, Oscar, is this real?

[FIREWORKS EXPLODING]

Wow, I guess you are real, Doris.

Which makes the next thing
I'm about to say all the harder.

Uh, Doris, even though you are
the fish girl of my dreams,

I don't think we're right for each other.

See, I sort of freaked out
when everyone at my school started dating.

So I sort of thought
that I just made you up.

What I'm trying to say
is that I guess I'm still waiting

-for that certain fish...
-[YAWNS]

...that fits me just right.

Goodbye, Doris Flores Gorgeous.

Told you I'd get that kiss someday, Oscar.

[GURGLING]

-Is everything all right, Oscar?
-Uh, yeah.

Everything's great. Let's go home.

Wait a sec, where's Milo?

MILO: Hot dog!

-[SPLASHES]
-MILO: Ow!

-Hey, Oscar.
-Oh, hey, Bea.

So, Oscar, I was wondering
if you wanted to grab some food

at the Hokey Poke after school?

But don't you have
another date this afternoon?

Well, I did, but I decided
to give him a rain check

because I wanted to hang out
with my friends.

You guys know I'm in,
because I can't do anything else.

BOTH: Oh, Milo! [LAUGH]

-Hee-hee!
-[BONE CRACKS]

-[GROWLS]
-[SCREAMING]

-[CLATTERING]
-[CAT MEOWS]

Behold! May I present to you

for the first time ever
at Freshwater High,

Milo and his hat of many colors!

What do you think, guys?

I mean, that was a pretty awesome
entrance, don't you think?

What was that? We were just talking about
how funny the word "algae" sounds.

[FANFARE]

Oh, my gosh, it's the football team!

Football team?

Fish people of Freshwater High School,

may I proudly present
Freshwater High's own Fighting Fish Hooks!

[SCREAMING]

Hut, hut, hut, hut!

Oh!

Yeah, yeah, Jocktopus MVP!

Yeah, Jocktopus will now sign autographs.

[ALL CLAMORING]

[GRUNTS]

All right, who's first?

BOTH: Me, me, me, me!

BOTH: Yay!

Oh, oh, oh!

[SQUEALS]

[GROANS]

-Oscar!
-I'm here for you, bro.

Oscar, I've just had a major
life-changing realization.

Please don't tell me this has anything
to do with joining the football team.

Whew, boy.

-Hey!
-[BOTH SHRIEK]

Bea, what's wrong with your face?

It's football season, silly.

This is my super fan ensemble.

It's totally cute,
and purple and white are so my colors.

BOTH: Oh.

-Football!
-[BOTH SHRIEK]

I bet you guys wish
you were as excited as I am.

Actually, it seems that Milo decided
to try out for football,

but doesn't know how to play.

I'm just in it for the glory.

Ooh, a project.

Okay, start by telling me
everything you do know about football.

You take the ball
and run around in circles for a while

while everyone cheers.

Then you slam dunk it
through that giant "H".

Then once you've scored
a home run, you dance.

[BEATBOXING] Dance, dance!

Dance, dance!

Dance, dance!

Hold it right there, partner. [LAUGHS]

[SIGHS] This is gonna be
a lot more work than I thought.

No, I'm a quick learner.

-[BUZZER BUZZING]
-[CROWD GROANING]

And that, Milo,
is how you play football. Got it?

Yeah. Um, when do we dance?

[PLAYERS GRUNTING]

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

Well, at least
I'm not the smallest guy here.

Spoke too soon.

[WHISTLES]

All right, Milo,
show us what you've got!

Whoo-hoo!

Check out my mad skills, Christopher.

[DEEP FEMALE VOICE]
My name is Stephanie.

Ooh, I'm playing football.

Fore!

[LAUGHING]

That's not how you play football!

Don't you mind him, Milo.

You just keep trying!

Eleven, forty thousand,
nine and a quarter.

Superstar say hike!

Hey, that's not football.
Jocktopus angry.

[HUMMING]

Yes, yes, those moves. That agility.

That's not football, Coach!

No. No, it's not.

-Not in any way, shape or form.
-[JOCKTOPUS SCREAMS]

And, oh,

I couldn't be more thrilled.

Milo, I'm so proud.

You have to admit that
I am an unbelievably amazing athlete.

You, sir, have a star on your hands.

I know!

A star water boy.

Water boy? [LAUGHS]

Finally some Jockto-justice.

Water boy? Now, wait just a minute.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

But, Coach, water boy
doesn't even have to do anything.

I mean, we're already underwater.

Milo, listen to me!

I saw something special in you
out on that field

and had a vision,
a vision that being water boy

is your destiny.

[SOBBING]

Wow, all that talent

and a winning smile.

Quite a powerful package, my friend.

See you at the game, water boy.

No, Coach, I don't think you will.

Because I quit.

Dude, shouldn't you be at the game?

No, bro,
they made me water boy and I quit.

In that environment, I was never gonna get
the attention I require.

What are you talking about, man?
It's not about attention.

You made the team.

Even though you're just the water boy,
you're still part of something huge.

Yeah, the lame part.

Nay! The equally important part
to all other parts.

Here, I made a pie chart to illustrate.

Imagine if one piece was taken away.

But then it's not a pie.

Exactly.

And neither is a team
without a water boy. Wa-cha!

Oh, my gosh, I'm a part of something.

Oscar, hand me that pie.

No, Milo, it's not a real pie.
It... It's a symbolic chart.

Hand me that pie.

-It's not a real...
-For me as a brother, Oscar,

hand me that pie!

I know now what I must do.

Whoa, whoa... oh... okay.

Water boy reporting for...

duty?

-[MUSIC PLAYING ON HEADPHONES]
-[SLURPING]

You made water boy, Milo?
That's so cool.

You hardly have to do anything.

What with us being underwater and all.

Yeah, thanks, Headphone Joe.

Unless it's an away game,
like the one at the gecko tank today.

Ooh, hoo, it's burning hot
in the gecko tank.

Wouldn't last long there
without a water boy. [LAUGHS]

The gecko tank? [SHRIEKS]

Ah, here comes our old arch-rivals..

The Freshwater Fish Hooks. [SLURPS]

They should be called
The Freshwater Fish Jerks!

[LAUGHING]

[CROWD CHEERING]

Cheer for our alma mater

We raise our tail fins high

Salute the best school underwater

Yes, we are Freshwater High

[CHEERING]

Where's the water boy?

So water boy is important.

My team needs me.

Too bad you fish cannot breathe.

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

Because the game
has already begun. [LAUGHS]

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

-[WATER WHOOSHES]
-Whoo!

[GARGLES, COUGHS]

Do not despair, Coach Salmons.

We geckos have plenty of water.

-Water!
-[SLURPS]

It is yours if you merely forfeit the game

and go home to your fish mommies.

[CACKLING]

[WHEEZES] So thirsty.

MILO: Don't do it, Coach!

No, it cannot be.

Oh, yeah, the water boy is back on duty.

[ALL GROANING]

[CHEERING]

All right, geckos.

Let's play some football!

[BOOING]

[CHEERING]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

Jockto... pus.

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

Hit me, please.

Hit me.

Hit me or I hit you.

Jocktopus wet forever!

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

ALL: Milo, Milo, Milo!

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

[GRUNTS]

[ROARS]

[GARGLES]

Hey, Bea, should I grow out my bangs
or just leave them?

Oh, I am always so jealous
of your hair, Shellsea.

If I were you... Come on, boys!
Tear their gecko heads off!

Defense! Defense!

If I were you, I wouldn't touch a thing.

Girl.

[CHEERING]

I will invent a time machine
and make you sorry,

Freshwater High School!

[ALL CHEER]

Water boy,
Jocktopus has one thing to say to you:

Jocktopus.

Wow, uh, thanks, Jocktopus. Whoa!

ALL: Milo, Milo, Milo!
Milo, Milo, Milo!

Milo, you're the MVP.
Can I have your autograph?

Finberley, I am honored.

But seriously,
I'm just one piece of the pie.

I am so proud

that I can make this team
a whole pie again.

But I owe all my super fame
to Coach Salmons.

Let's hear it for the best coach ever!

[LAUGHING]

Oh, Milo.

My goodness, my hair!

[ALL LAUGHING]

Wait... [CHUCKLES]
Wasn't that the last of the water?

[ALL GASPING]

[WHEEZES] Milo!

[VIDEO GAME BEEPING]

Yeah, I don't do football.

MOUSE:
Girls don't play football, she-dork!

-We're too delicate.
-Yeah, we do.

-Kick it to me!
-There's no room in here.

Come on, kick it! Kick it, I dare ya.

Kick it, kick it, kick it,
kick it, kick it, kick it.

[GRUNTS]

[SWALLOWS]

Yay, one point for you.

[WHISTLE BLOWS]