01x06 - Midnight Movie Madness

[bunniefuu]

Ah-hyuck!

♪ H-h-h-hit it ♪

♪ Like father, like son ♪

♪ You're always number one ♪

[both]
Yes!

♪ There's buddies
There's pals ♪

Yeah!

♪ You always seem to work things out ♪

♪ Can't you see you're two of a kind ♪

♪ Lookin' for a real good time ♪

Whoa!

♪ A real good time ♪

Aah!

♪ Report to the Goof Troop ♪

♪ And we'll always stick together ♪

♪ Always stick together ♪

♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ The best of friends forever ♪

♪ Side by side wherever we go ♪

♪ We're always ready to roll ♪

♪ Now gimme a beat ♪

♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ And we always stick together ♪

Gawrsh!

♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ The best of friends forever ♪

♪ Now we're calling everyone ♪

♪ Come along and join the fun ♪

♪ Report to the Goof Troop ♪

♪ Baa ba doo da bop baa ba doo bop ♪

Yeah!

[dog barking]

[man, on TV] On main street,
never leave your window open,

never leave your lights off,

and never order out for pizza,
because...

-[woman screams]
-[chainsaw revving]

He's back!

The Mutilator on Main Street
part seven,

now playing at a theater near you!

-Radical!
-Sick!

Classy. [burps]

Hey, Peej, that's a top 10,
four-star must see.

-Am I right, pal?
-Yuck!

"Never order out for pizza because...

He's back!"

[chainsaw revving]

Ahh!

That kinda stuff makes a man outta ya.

Oh, honestly, hon, why would anyone
want to watch that...

-[shattering]
-p*stol!

Get out of the hamper!

It's worthless, a waste of time.

-It's a child dementer.
-I can't believe it. Look! I found it!

There's nothing wrong with a good scare
now and again, Snookums.

[Peg] Oh, really, Pete?

Gives a young man iron nerves
and bladder control. [burps]

-We need that.
-Aw, I don't know, Max.

[stammers] You see,
I got this model I wanna work on

-and I don't, you know...
-[Pete] Hey!

What's the matter, son?

Feeling a little shaky?
Weak-kneed?

A little yellow, maybe?

[stammering] Well, uh, no.
No, Dad, no...

Of course he's not!
Guts is our middle name, right, Peej?

Yeah, Jelly Guts.

[laughs] Knock yourself out.

Uh, well, thanks, you know,
but we really couldn't--

-His Dad will say no.
-Give me a break. No problem!

-[Goofy] Forget it, Max!
-But why?

Creepy movies don't agree with you, son.

What are you talking about?

Remember that old witch in
Snow White and the Seven Dwarves?

Ah-hyuck! You were so scared
you had hiccups for a week!

Snow White?

No way! I mean...
That was, uh, Pickles!

Max, you can't watch Grandma stuff
a chicken without getting faint.

The past, Dad.
You're talking about the past.

I'm 11 and a half. Nothing scares me.

Except math tests.

That's different, P.J.!

Besides, his dad says
it's a part of manhood.

I'm still working on boyhood.

Manhood, huh? So...

[Max] So, so, I'm old enough to do this.

-Right, Peej?
-[stammers] Well, I, you know, I...

-Gonna give you hiccups.
-Aw, I can handle it, Dad.

-You sure?
-Posilutely, you got it, Dad.

-OK, Max. Go for it.
-Yes!

Ah, I'm not really sure about this, Max.

-But be home for supper!
-I could help with supp...

-[chuckles] Kids.
-[TV warbling]

Ah-hyuck!

Now, let me see, a sandwich?

With ketchup and mustard and olives...

[meows]

Now all I need is...

Huh? Max!

[meows]

Gonna need some Swiss cheese,
pig knuckles and tomatoes

and pickled onions, bread
and let's see, um...

Huh?

Hmm.

Ah-hyuck! I knew I forgot something!

Hmm, gotta get me a roomier car.

Howdy, neighbor!
Your yard's looking peachy!

-Thanks, neighbor. Whoa!
-[barks]

Ha! Wasn't even close!

[yells in pain]

I thought you were gonna cut this!

It's hanging onto my property!

Cutting into my air space.

Later! Gotta go to all-night market
before it closes.

Hmm, what a goof!

Yeah, come on, big screen,
six track, total experience.

-[P.J.] Oh, Max!
-Peej!

[Goofy]
Potatoes, onions, pickled herring...

Oops! [laughs] Can't forget the pepperoni!

Whoopsie Daisy!

-That'll be $87.53.
-Ah-hyuck!

[woman screaming on screen]

Ah, ripping! I gotta tell ya,
you were right, Max!

Man, this is great.
It's, like, not scary at all.

Uh, Max?

[hiccuping]

Come on, shh!
You're missing the best part.

-[chainsaw revving]
-[splattering]

[screams]

[hiccuping]

[imitating chainsaw noises]

[chuckles] Awesome!

[hiccups] Is it over?

-Yeah, it's over.
-Totally?

Yeah, totally.

Hey, I just wanted to get
the last kernel, OK?

[scoffs] Yeah, right.

Well, at least I didn't
freak out in the lobby.

Come on, P.J., admit it! You were scared!

-What, me, scared?
-Yeah, you.

Ha! Just 'cause you were
hiding under the seat!

[Max] No way! I wasn't scared, I mean...

What about the part with the chainsaw?

-Ah, kid's stuff!
-Oh, yeah, and the meat locker scene?

Piece of cake!

Hey, man, what about
the stuff in the bathtub?

[both] k*ller!

[loud crash]

-What was that?
-I don't know.

-Maybe we'd better go home.
-[stammering] Home's good.

[Max] I mean, not that I'm scared
or anything...

-Oh, no, me neither...
-[growling]

[cat meowing]

-But it is kinda late.
-Oh, yeah, it's late.

And I wouldn't want my dad to worry and...

[thunder rumbling]

-[Max] I'll race ya!
-[P.J.] Max! Wait for me!

[thunder cracking]

[Max and P.J. screaming]

[panting] We made it!

How was the movie?

Oh, yeah, you should have seen it, Dad!

The Mutilator, he had this
big old knife and he was...

[screaming]

[hiccuping]

-Was that a hiccup?
-No!

[gasps]

Uh, hey, Peej, you wanna stay overnight?

Hey, cool! I'll call and see if it's OK.

-[chopping]
-[gasps]

Hey, wait, I'll help you dial.

[ringing]

Don't put mustard in the dog's ear, honey.

[laughs] Get the phone!

[Pete] Oh, sure, Sweetums. [chuckles]

Hello? Oh, P.J.

Mmm-hmm. Sure, sure you can stay over.

Spend the week. They can adopt you
as far as I could...

Oh, how was the movie?

Did it scare you?

Hey, no biggie, Pop!

Just another flick!

Just another flick? Are you kidding?

-Why, that's a true story.
-It is?

Down in Amarilla. Saw it on the news.

He came in through
the bedroom window.

-He did?
-Sleep tight, son!

[cackling]

What are you cackling about?

Oh, nothing, dear. Absolutely nothing.

[Max] No way! It never happened!

-[P.J.] Did to!
-[Max] Did not!

-[P.J.] Did to!
-[Max] Did not!

-[P.J.] Did to!
-[Max] Did not!

[P.J.] Hey, are you calling my dad bogus?

According to the Solemn
Rules of Sleepover,

there's only one way to settle this...

[both] Pillow fight!

[chuckles]

These boys won't sleep much tonight!
[laughs]

[screeching]

-[both shouting]
-Wait! Did you hear something?

Come on, quit fooling around, Max.

I'm not fooling around! Listen!

[screeching]

-That's not you?
-It's not me, is it you?

Uh-uh.

Well, if it's not me,
and it's not you, then...

[both scream]

[laughing] I love kids.

Oh, ain't she a beaut?

The perfect bedtime snackeroo.

[meows]

Careful, kitty!

[muttering]

[meows]

-[Max] Go look!
-[P.J.] No way! You look!

[Max] I'm not gonna look! You look!

-[P.J.] It was your idea!
-[Max] Well, at least move over!

[P.J.] Hey, quit shoving!

[Max] Me? You're the one that's shoving!

[alarm ringing]

[meows]

[screeching]

[both screaming]

[growls]

[both] It's the Mutilator!

[laughs]

[Max and P.J. screaming]

-Huh?
-[both] The Mutilator's here!

[grunts]

Gawrsh!

Oh, he's gonna get us
just like he got all those...

-[shivering]
-Campers?

-Yeah!
-See what that movie did to you?

It's real.

The Mutilator's outside,
he's trying to get in!

I think he ate your cat.

Oh, he did, did he?

Well, then I guess I'd better
have a little lookie-see.

Whoa!

[Max] Be careful, Dad.

[crashing]

Watch your back, Mr. G.

[laughing]

Well, that oughta put hair
on their chinny-chin-chins!

[laughs] Whoa!

[grunts]

Whoa!

Goofy!

[snoring softly]

[door opens]

[crackling]

[shrieking]

[screams]

Ow!

[crash]

You OK?

Ah-hyuck! Found kitty.

Creepy movies, nothing but trouble,
wrecked my sandwich.

Gawrsh!

[thunder cracking]

[scatting]

[leaves rustling]

The Mutilator! Ah-hyuck!

[scatting]

Aw, shucks!

-What's that?
-It's, it's the Mutilator!

Hey, boys, let me in! Let me in!

I don't hear him anymore.

-Maybe he's gone.
-You wish.

[thunderclap]

Just what I needed. Whoops!

[branch snapping]

Come to Papa, little light!
[makes kissing sounds]

[meows]

[snickering]

[both gasp]

[yelling]

[Max] Cops! Call the cops!

Whoa!

-[electricity crackling]
-[shrieking]

[gasps] P.J., the phone's dead!

Just like we're gonna be!

Where's my dad! Where's my dad!

[thunder rumbles]

Ruined a perfectly good pair of pajamas.

Whoa!

[both] Oh, no!

[gasps] It's him!

[muffled] Max! P.J.!

[both] He knows your name!

[both] Upstairs, upstairs, upstairs!

OK, I'll meet ya!

He's on the roof!

[both] Downstairs, downstairs, downstairs!

[chewing]

[Goofy] Hey, that's mine!

Blasted cat! Hey, get away from there.

[yells]

[laughing]

Those kids sure are cute
when they're petrified. [laughing]

Yow!

Ah, where have you been?

I wasn't out scaring the kids.

[Peg] Mmm-mmm.
I don't think that's very funny.

Now you go over there
and tell them you're sorry.

-Oh, but, Peg...
-But nothing!

Yes, Snookums.

Wonder what good the little weasels are
if you can't have a little fun.

[shattering]

Aw, shucks!

Now I'm gonna have
to make a whole new sandwich

is what I'll have to do.

[muttering] Hmm,
I don't care what anyone says.

A good shock to the system's
good for you every now and then.

[thunder cracking]

[gasps]

[yells]

Gotta get to your house, Peej,
it's our only chance.

-[stammering] OK. OK.
-All right,

on the count of three,
we run for it.

-You ready?
-Ready.

Three!

[both yelling]

[both] Dead body!

[both yelling]

[grunts] Well, next time I'm going
to have to get myself another key

and put it somewhere.

Whoa!

-[crash]
-Ow!

Ow! Ooh! Ouch!

Hey! Ow!

[Goofy] Oh, my toe!

Quick! The attic!

[P.J.] I can't take this anymore!

[panting] Made it!

[P.J.] Max! Max!

-Who is it?
-It's me.

"Me" who?

-[match sparking]
-There, that's better.

Now, if I could just get in.

[clattering]

[Goofy] Ah-hyuck!

[chainsaw revving]

He's here, in the house!

-What are we gonna do now?
-[hiccups]

No kidding!

[both hiccuping]

-[both hiccuping]
-[chainsaw revving]

Ah-hyuck! Taller than I thought.

[sniffing] Now let's see.

Cream cheese, onions,
pepperoni, sweet potatoes,

bologna, mustard, mayonnaise...

[meows]

[slurps] Oh, boy!

Whoa!

-[yelling]
-[crash]

[gasps] He's got Dad! [hiccuping]

And we're next! [hiccups]

-Let's hide! [hiccups]
-No!

-No? [hiccups]
-No.

No more running, Peej.
I've got to save my dad!

You really going down there?

I got to, Peej.

-Max!
-Yeah?

You lost your hiccups.

So did you.

[scatting]

-Ready?
-No. But, let's do it anyway!

[Max] He's bigger than I thought!

Does this mean sleepover's over?

-[both] Gotcha!
-[Goofy] Wha...

[Goofy, muffled] Hey, what's going on?

-[Max] This is for my dad, creep!
-[Goofy] Oh!

-[P.J.] And this is for Mr. G.!
-[Goofy] Oof!

[cat screeches]

[all yelling]

-And this is for my dad!
-[Goofy] Ow.

-And this is for my dad!
-[Goofy] Oh!

And this is for my dad!

Uh, Max? It is your dad!

And this is for my...

Dad?

Your dad's the Mutilator?

Cool!

Uh, is he dead?

[stammering] Uh, sorry, Dad.

But, we thought he got you.

Max, there is no Mutilator.

-I knew that.
-We didn't know that, Max.

Yeah, you're right.
We didn't know that.

We acted like
a couple of chickens.

Yeah, we acted like a couple
of weak-kneed,

yellow-bellied, rubber-legged,
Lily-livered, back-pedaling...

That'll do it, Peej.

-OK?
-OK.

Now, wait a minute.
You boys were brave.

You saved me from the Mutilator...

Er, kind of.

-Yeah, we did!
-Yeah, P.J.! We are brave!

Cool, we could have saved him.

Yeah, we could've saved him
for sure, no problem.

[gasps] What about the body?

-What body?
-[both] Under the tree branch!

Tree branch!

Oh, sweetie, do you want some coffee?
Aspirin?

What do you want, darling?

Can I have a waffle iron
for Christmas, Momma?

Why's Daddy in the mud?
He won't let me play in the mud.

And why isn't he in bed anyway?
Huh? Tell me that, tell me that.

It's Dad! What happened?

He's been up all night
trying to scare you two.

-You have?
-There's nothing wrong with a good scare.

You wanna grow up like me, don't ya?

Fearless! Brave!

Strong! Iron-willed! Dauntless!

Good looking! Courageous!

And unshakable!

-[Pete] The Mutilator!
-[chainsaw revving]

[yelling]

There! That branch won't
bother anyone anymore!

[laughing]

[sighs] How about next week
we take in a nice puppet show?

Lawn bowling perhaps.

Oh, gnarly, Max.

Gnarly? I can't say "gnarly."

I'm not allowed to say "gnarly."

How come P.J. can say "gnarly?"

How come he can say "gnarly?"

I said to myself... whoops!

I can't say "gnarly."
I'm not allowed to say "gnarly."

♪ Gimme a beat ♪

[theme music playing]

Yeah!