01x22 - Shake, Rattle & Goof

[bunniefuu]

Ah-hyuck.

♪ H-h-h-hit it ♪

♪ Like father, like son ♪

-♪ You're always number one ♪
-[both] Yes!

-♪ There's buddies, there's pals ♪
-Yeah!

♪ You always seem to work things out ♪

♪ Can't you see you're two of a kind ♪

♪ Lookin' for a real good time ♪

Whoa!

-♪ A real good time ♪
-Aah!

♪ Report to the Goof Troop ♪

♪ And we'll always stick together ♪

♪ Always stick together ♪

♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ The best of friends forever ♪

♪ Side by side wherever we go ♪

♪ We're always ready to roll ♪

♪ Now gimme a beat ♪

♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ And we always stick together ♪

Gawrsh.

♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ The best of friends forever ♪

♪ Now we're calling everyone ♪

♪ Come along and join the fun ♪

♪ Report to the Goof Troop ♪

♪ Baa ba doo da bop baa ba doo bop ♪

Yeah!

Oh, yeah. Play it, Maxie.

Ooh, ooh, ooh. You know,
the Subliminal Messengers' tune?

Know it, dude? I live it!

♪ Suburban cowboys out
on the concrete range ♪

[imitating guitar noise]

♪ Jingling spurs, it's just
My loose change, cool ♪

[both imitating guitar noises]

[both] Oh! Yeah.

-[laughing]
-All right, man!

P.J., we're good.

Sign us up, man!

This is our calling, Peej.

Jammin' and riffin' rock 'n' roll!

We are the sound of the '90s!

[both] Whoa!

Max, we gotta book

or we'll miss the Ruptured
Eardrums' new video!

[rock music playing]

[yowling]

[yowling]

[P.J.] All right! Pump it up!

[yowling]

You fellas want a snack? [screams]

That music sure is loud!

[both] What?

You gotta turn it down!

It won't go any louder!

Whoa!

Thanks, Mr. G.

Dad, P.J. and I want to start a band.

What? Fruit stand?

But I just made cuppety cakes!

No, no, guitars and amps.

Oh, sorry, Max, but we're
plumb outta stamps.

No, Dad, you're not getting it.
We want to start a band!

Oh, oh! Ah-hyuck! You wanna buy a band?

Hmm, well, it's okay with me.

Oh, yeah!

Okay, guys, now let's stick together.

Ah-hyuck!

Guess they're excited!

Ah-hyuck!

-Rad guitars.
-Oh, k*ller, man!

-Man.
-The sound outta that.

Well, I don't see any bands for sale.

No, Dad, we are going to be the band.

Oh, yeah.

Uh, where's your instruments?

That's why we're here, Pop!

You know, I used to play
ukulele in a band. Ah-hyuck!

It sure was fun.

Great, Dad, great.

Let's see here.

♪♪

Ow! [mumbling]

Look. Ah-hyuck! It's a cat's cradle.
Ah-hyuck!

Oh! [panting]

[clears throat]

Just gotta show them who's boss.

Yow!

[P.J.] Dad, it's perfect!

Okay, now just watch.

I'm Mr. Cool when it comes
to wheeler dealin'. Ah-hyuck!

We'll buy it all! How much for the set?

[vocalizing] Sixty-five dollars.

[chuckles]

Sounds a little low. What's wrong with it?

I don't know. What?

These boys can't start a band
with second-rate equipment.

Hey, chill out, parental-type dude.

It's my junk, and I can
sell it for whatever I want.

Oh yeah? [snaps finger] I'll give ya $70.

-Sixty!
-Seventy-five!

-Fifty-five!
-Eighty!

Fifty dollars and free home delivery.

And that is my final offer! [chuckles]

Deal!

Ah-hyuck! I still got the touch. Ah-hyuck!

[Max] Okay, let's fire up these puppies.

[thudding]

I prefer a full-bodied sound!

♪♪

Hear the crowd roar!

Oh boy, oh boy, a concert, a concert!

Oh, can I be a groupie
and say like I'm with the band?

Like I'm really rockin' rollin'
huh, huh, huh?

Hit it, Peej!

Waffles! Soup's on!

Whoa!

[rock music playing]

[screaming]

[thuds]

Yay! Righteous dudes, pump up the volume!

[both] Party on!

Whoa!

Ugh!

What in the name of worthless
trade-ins are they doin'?

I think they call it rock 'n' roll, dear.

Well, something's gonna roll around
here, and it ain't rocks!

Oh, now just eat your popcorn
and give them a chance.

You may get to like it.

-[electric guitar playing]
-[screams]

That does it!
This is the day the music dies,

along with the musicians.

-Not so fast, Petey!
-Oh!

This band thing means so much to the boys.

You're not going to break
their little hearts,

are you, you big lug nut?

Aw, not if you don't want me to, pookums.

Oh! That's my good boy.

Yeah. Why should I tell them they stink?

[chuckles]

Let the music world

break their little
tone-deaf hearts for me.

[laughs]

Hey, boys! Good news. I found my ukulele!

Wow. That's really
the bee's knees, Daddy-O.

Uh, yeah, like, groovy, man.

It might make a real nice
lamp, Mr. G, you know,

being an antique and everything?

Well, I was a-thinkin'
that maybe we, uh...

That is you boys and me, well,

would you want some help from an old pro?

Uh, thanks, anyway, Pop.

Oh. Oh, okay.

Maybe another time. I play a mean solo.

[Max] Maybe later?

[sighs] Sure, Maxie. Later.

Play me them blues, Peej!

♪ I'm big boy P.J. ♪

♪ and I'm swamp water Max ♪

Hey, do you mind if
green thumb Goofy joins in?

[both] Green thumb Goofy?

Oh, guess there was some mold

on these old ukulele strings. Ah-hyuck!

Oh, Dad! Oh, man!

[both gagging]

[all] Huh?

You call yourselves rock 'n' rollers?

Well, today, you've gotta
have a hot video.

-All right, Mr. P!
-Sir!

[chuckles] Don't thank me.

Cecil B. Degoofberg here
is gonna film your video.

I am?

But I promised the boys

I'd be their ukulele player.

-Oh, that's okay, Pop!
-A video, we got to video.

-We got to have a video, man.
-You can play later.

Oh, yeah, it needs that unique-- ahem--

"Touch de la Goof."

If I'm going to sell it to Suave Records.

[both] Wow!

No kidding? Suave Records!

Great talent should be recognized.

Gawrsh! Ah-hyuck! Thanks, Pete.

Not you. Them!

You better get busy!

Well, that oughta fix the little spuds.

Give them enough videotape,

and they'll hang themselves with it.

[laughs]

Okay. Let's do it!

Can we do it with the lens cap off?

Yeah! That's a great idea.

Ah-hyuck! I can see you now.

[screams]

Well,

sometimes I'm so smart,

I scare myself! [laughs]

When the record company
gets a gander of this,

they'll step on each other

to shut the little weasels up. [laughs]

[laughing]

Let's see, which band will I pick today.

Stupid enough to let me rob them blind?

Hmm. "The Goof Troop"?
[chuckles] Sounds perfect!

Rockers! [vocalizing]

p*stol.

Whoa!

Rock 'n' rollers!

[vocalizing]

We are the coolest dudes

Whoa! [gurgling]

[vocalizing]

And I bet you wish you were too.

[vocalizing]

I'm going to be rich... er.

[Goofy] Boys! I got Suave Records
on the phone.

-Come on, Peejster!
-Right behind ya!

I knew they were going to call!

I gotta hear this.

Uh-huh.

Now boys, don't be too disappointed,

but there are other careers,
uh, quiet ones.

They're giving you a record contract!

[both cheering]

What? You can't do it!

[both] What?

[stammering]

Without me as your manager! [chuckles]

[Pete] Now remember,

I'm your manager,
so let me do the talking.

I'm Mr. Cool when it
comes to the dotted line.

Hey! Max! P.J.!
And you must be Goofy, huh?

Brilliant video.

Avant-garde, postmodern,
refreshingly unpolished.

[groans] Hey! Hey! Wait a minute!

I'm the band's manager. Let me in!

[sniffing] What's that smell?

I'm burning aromatic incense.

It relieves stress and kills flies.

[laughs] Maybe your record
will be up there someday, guys.

-Dude!
-Cool!

Gawrsh!

[Carter] You kidding?

You guys are hot! Quite hot!

Whew! I feel it!

Fire!

-Hi, I'm the man--
-Fire!

Sound the alarm!

Stop, drop and roll!

[groaning]

[both grunting]

[sighs]

[sobbing] My million dollar rug

woven by little old ladies
in downtown Istanbul...

It's ruined!

[growling]

[laughs] Ah, there's no reason
to get upset.

I'll just add it to the amount
you already owe me.

-[both] Owe you?
-Oh, yeah.

There are already
video distribution costs,

reserving concert halls,
touring costs, you know.

[panting]

Excuse me, my good man.

Let's get the tour started, huh?

Your first concert date is comin' up.

But, Colonel Carter, I'm--

I want this mess cleaned up
by the time I get back,

or you're fired!

[snoring]

Oh, ladies and gentlemen,

the Goof Troop has left the building.

No ladies, I'm taken. [snore]
I'm, I'm already taken.

Max! We're here. Come on!

Oh! Hotels are great,

the pool, the room service, the groupies.

[both] The pits!

-Uh, Max?
-Yeah?


This rock 'n' roll stuff's
really great, huh?

Yeah, great.

Yeah, it'd be really great
if I had my own bed, though.

Yeah. Or sheets.
Some sheets would be good.

Otherwise, it's great.

Great.

[yawns] 'Nighty-night, Petey boy.

Aw, shut up!

[Goofy snoring]

Hmm, a wise guy, eh?

Ah, the stupid Goof.

I'd flush him down the shower drain,

but it'd scare the c*ck!

[rooster crows]

Mornin'! Wake up, everybody.

Sleep is for sissies. Come on, get up.

Just five more minutes,
my little muffin tin!

Oh, but it's so early.

Burning the candle at both ends,
now that's rock 'n' roll.

Colonel, why are we staying at a hotel

when we're only four blocks from home?

[stammers] I can't make any
money if you live at home!

-Huh?
-[chuckles] You know, I mean,

you can't be ready for the rigors
of the road

unless you train for them!

Hey, success hurts!

Oh, yeah, sure.

I'll need some cash for the room.

Okay, okay, hold your horses.

Wait a second! These are my pants.

Okay if I borrow a couple of bucks, Goof?

-[snores]
-Thanks.

That oughta cover it.
If not, you can owe me.

[Goofy snores]

He says no problemo.

Half a dozen eggs, over medium,
couple o' T-bone steaks,

A mountain o' cottage fries,
coffee, orange juice,

freshly squeezed, of course,
stack of flapjacks.

Hey, ah, and give them
an English muffin to share.

Gotta get in shape for the tour. Trust me.

[gobbling]

Colonel Carter, we wrote a great song.

Oh yeah, it's about a vampire bat.

[laughs] But listen, boys.

My bands only play my material, my way.

It makes the bookkeeping easier

when it comes to distributing
the royalties, you know?

All right. As long as we're
performing, I guess.

Oh, you're gonna be performing
your ears off.

[laughs]

[chuckling sarcastically]

[burps] Sorry, this must be yours.

It's 35 bucks for the grub.

Next comes creating
the rock 'n' roll image

That'll make millions.

Yeah, But we haven't even
finished breakfast.

Too late now. Fame
and fortune are waiting.

Well, what do you think?
Am I a genius or what?

Now you are ready for your first gig!

[tires squeal]

Okay, boys!

Next stop, Spoonerville Amphitheater.
Big time!

[all coughing]

Ya know, this isn't fun anymore.

Yeah! We gotta dress like dweebs.

Up in front of people we don't even know!

and we don't even get to do our own songs!

You left out one thing.

[both] What?

We owe big bucks!

We have to do this concert to break even.

Don't worry, fellers.

Me and Betsy here are
behind ya all the way!

That's swell, Pop.

Rock 'n' roll forever!

[all] Rock 'n' roll forever.

We have to get out of this.

[P.J.] Gosh, Max, I feel
like a cat in a dog pound.

[Max] Relax, P.J... What can they
do if they don't like us?

I don't know, man,
but there's enough of them to do it a lot!

I just decided I don't
want to be a rock star.

Me, too, but what about the concert?

[crowd hooting]

Come on!

What can't be found can't perform!

Max, wait.

Hey, this is no exit.

No, it's the inside of a locked trunk.

Oh, pretty lame, Max. Even for you.

Hey, what do you expect
from a terrified adolescent?

[Carter] [chuckles] I guess my advertising

for the best rock band in
history really worked, huh?

The place is packed!

The boys will put on
a nice little show for them.

Hey, they'd better!

Whoa! I'd hate to disappoint
that many people!

Ten thousand seats in this dump,

and we got 20 bucks for every one of them!

Yeah! [chuckles] That should
just about make us even.

[groans]

[crowd] [chanting] Goof Troop! Goof Troop!

Crowd's getting impatient.
Better start the show.

Hmm. Wonder where the boys are.

Makes no difference to me.

They don't perform, I just
foreclose on your houses.

[both] What?

Just good business.

Either way, I make out like a bandit.

I'll twist your business off
and I'll stuff it--

Oh, hold on. Not now, Pete.
We gotta find the boys.

Don't want them to miss their big chance.

I'll say we don't!

[crowd] [chanting] Goof Troop! Goof Troop!

You keep the crowd happy

while I find the brats!

Wait! What are ya doing? Stop pushing!

[P.J.] Max! You know,
we gotta do this concert.

Our dads need us!

I know, I know, but how do
we get out of these things?

I don't think we're supposed
to get in them in the first place.

If you're not going to say
something helpful, P.J.,

keep it buttoned!

[applause]

[man] Whoa, I know that dude.

Hiya, folks.

Well, uh, you hear the one

about the Frenchman
who wouldn't eat snails?

He preferred fast food. [laughing]

That one really tickles me.

[clears throat]

Well, you'll love this one. Ah-hyuck!

What's the difference between an elephant

and my best friend Pete?

About 10 pounds. Ah-hyuck!

Don't you get it?

Hey! What's the-- Whoa!

Hey! Watch it!

[shouting]

Comedy's not their thing.

Ya find the boys?

-[P.J.] Help! Anybody!
-[Max] We're in here!

-Let me out of here. Come on.
-Let us out!

Now, that's what I call a costume.

[Max] We're locked in!

[Goofy] Hey! Take it easy!

[Pete] Keep them entertained
while I get the boys out!

Ah-hyuck! I'm back!

Ah-hyuck! You care to see some dancing?

Ah-hyuck!

[vocalizes]

Not bad, huh?

Whoa! Ah-hyuck! You missed me!

Ohh! Stop! No fair! Whoa!

-[thuds]
-[grunts]

[groaning]

Now?

Not yet. Go on back out there!

Shucks!

[gulping noisily]

[gagging]

Whoa! [straining]

Whoa!

[screams]

[crowd laughs]

[shouts]

Ladies and gents, the Goof Troop.

[cheering, applause]

[gulps]

[crowd boos]

Go for it, Maxie.

Forget to plug him in. Ah-hyuck!

Hit it, Maxie!

[hysterical cheers]

You boys were phenomenal!
A hit! I'll-- [chuckles]

I mean-- [chuckles] We'll make millions!

Not with the Goof Troop you won't.

Yeah, we're retiring.

But you can't! I discovered you!

You owe me for all I've done for you!

All we owe you is a trip
to intensive care!

No, Dad! Wait!

Yeah, Mr. P, we're already hitting him

where it hurts the most-- His wallet!

Well, you're right,

but I wish he was wearing
his wallet on his face!

[sighs] Well, they all can't
be as dumb as they look.

[chuckles] Boy, I'm glad that's over.

Yeah. The closest I ever want
to be to a concert again

is in the audience.

Oh, I don't know.

I kinda liked it up there
on stage in the spotlight.

Hey! What do ya think of me going solo?

In some of them tight sequined pants,

with electric rhinestonees

and a strobe string tie.

Wait! What're you doing?

Aren't we gonna talk to the Colonel?

Maxie! Pete!

Careful of the ukulele!

♪ Gimme a beat ♪

[theme music playing]

Yeah!