01x38 - E=MC Goof

[bunniefuu]

Ah-hyuck!

♪ H-h-h-hit it ♪

♪ Like father, like son ♪

♪ You're always number one ♪

[both] Yes!

♪ There's buddies
There's pals ♪

Yeah!

♪ You always seem to work things out ♪

♪ Can't you see you're two of a kind ♪

♪ Lookin' for a real good time ♪

Whoa!

♪ A real good time ♪

Aah!

♪ Report to the Goof Troop ♪

♪ And we'll always stick together ♪

♪ Always stick together ♪

♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ The best of friends forever ♪

♪ Side by side wherever we go ♪

♪ We're always ready to roll ♪

♪ Now gimme a beat ♪

♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ And we always stick together ♪

Gawrsh!

♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ The best of friends forever ♪

♪ Now we're calling everyone ♪

♪ Come along and join the fun ♪

♪ Report to the Goof Troop ♪

♪ Baa ba doo da bop baa ba doo bop ♪

Yeah!

Cleans rain gutters,
vacuums carpet, scrubs floors,

washes kitty litter,
and polishes end thingies on shoelaces.

That's my specialty!

Oh, sure hope this resumé gets me a job.

I gotta start paying off
a few of these bills.

Guess what, Dad! I got an "A"!

[wind howling]

[meow]

[screeches]

Oof!

Dad, is that you?

Uh, I'm not sure. Kinda dark in here.

Guess I got buried in my work, Son.
Ah-hyuck!

Whatcha got there, Maxie?

My science report.

I did it on Einstein.

Einstein was one of my favorites,
especially in the Bride of Einstein.

Uh, Dad, that's Frankenstein.

Ooh, guess he changed his name
when he came over to this country.

I'll read it right away,

but first I got to mail off
my job application. Whoa!

I'm applyin' for a part-time janitor job
at Rocketdarn.

Good luck, Pop. Hope you get it.

Whoa. Maybe then you can get
to the bills in the kitchen.

Hmm. Now where'd I put that resumé?

Here it is.

Bet them Rocketdarn folks
will be darn impressed by my credentials.

Just attach my photo to it,
and I'll be all set.

[Crocker] "Associate Professor
of theoretical physics,

University of Prague.

Director of the Institute
of Advanced Studies,

Princeton, New Jersey.

Has published 17 papers

on the quantum theory
of photoelectric emission.

And is currently at work
on unifying electromagnetism

and conventional gravitational theory".

Well, sure. Mr Government Grant.

-[murmuring]
-I'd like to watch.

Boys, I think we found us a real McCoy.

This fella's a regular Einstein.

-[murmuring]
-Now pass this around.

I want you boys to see
what a real genius looks like.

[telephone rings]

[ringing]

Here, Maxie. Keep plungin'.

Hello? Hello, Professor?

This is Red Crocker
from over at Rocketdarn.

Are you indisposed?

Nope. In the kitchen.
Just trying to clear up the black hole.

[chuckles] Yeah, yeah. Well, my boys
have been workin' on that one

for about the last 20 years.

Well, it's all cleared up now.

Boys, Professor Goof just put the kabosh
on the black hole mystery.

-Oh, that's amazing.
-[murmuring]

Professor, I'm gonna cut
right to the chase here

and tell you we'd just
like to get you onboard

here at Rocketdarn a-s-a-p.

You mean I got the job?

Thanks! And a-s-a-p to you, too! Ah-hyuck!

A janitor, you say?

Oh, Goofster, you think you can handle
such an important position?

I hope so, Petey.

Bills have been pourin'
in fast and curious.

Boy, Petey, sure wish
I could spend the day relaxin' like you.

But I owe, I owe,
so it's off to work I go.

Got a delivery. Sign here.

Swell! It's the surplus I ordered
from Dogface of Fortune magazine.

A lifetime supply for 500 simoleans.

Could be anything.
carburetors from old tanks,

engines from old planes,
maybe even a hand grenade or two!

Ha ha ha!

Whatever it is,
I'll make a fortune resellin' it!

Hey, I didn't order this junk.

[delivery man] This your signature?

Well, yeah.

Then they're yours.

But this is a mistake!
I don't even know what these things are!

You shoulda thought of that
before you ordered them.

[Crocker] Professor,
I just want to say welcome aboard.

Come right this way.
I'll give you the 10-cent tour.

Gawrsh! Can it wait till payday?
I'm a little low on cash.

As you can see, Professor,
my boys have burned a lot of midnight oil

tryin' to solve this
pesky little fuel problem.

Any ideas how we can clean up this mess?

Hmm...maybe.

Perhaps, uh, possibly.

Oh, my goodness!

The professor's right.

We've been ridin' down
the wrong path, boys.

Time to double back and see
where we lost the scent.

You know, you have the most unique brain
I've ever encountered, Professor Goof.

Yep. They been tellin' me
that my whole life. Ah-hyuck!

[Crocker] And I'm particularly proud
of the work we do here

slapping together all the gizmos
and doodads that make up our rockets.

[coughs]

Looks like you need to clean house.

What was that? Clean house?

Sounds a little drastic.

Some of these boys have been with me
for 20 years.

They're like family.

Then again, I can't stand my family.

Fire 'em all!

Well, that's that. Come on, Professor.

I want to show you my pride and joy.

Good. Been wonderin'
where you keep the detergent.

[Crocker] Well, there she is.

That little lady's
the reason we're all here.

What do you think of her, Professor?

[squeaks]

Hmm. I think she needs to be scrubbed.

Scrub the mission? Are you sure?
Isn't there some other way?

Afraid not.
The longer you wait, the worse it'll get.

Five billion smackers down the drain.

I know how you feel.
Me and Maxie got bad drain problems, too.

[Pete] Well, look, pal,

I'm only supposed to
sell one to a customer,

but because I like you,
and I really mean that,

you can have all 10,000.

Eh, what's it do?

Ha ha! If I knew that,
I'd have to charge you extra.

Yeah, right!

I gotta find some way of
unloadin' these things.

[Crocker] Professor Goof, you know,
you've opened my eyes to the fact

that our space program is in worse trouble

than a long-tailed cat
in a room full of rockin' chairs.

But with your help, I'm hopin'
we can clean up this mess we're in.

That's why I'm here, to clean up the mess.

I like that attitude.
I like that attitude!

Now, how long do you think
it'll take, Professor Goof?

Couple hours, I guess.

That's it? But how?

I start at the bottom and work my way up.

There. You see, boys?
What am I always telling you?

A strong foundation
is the key to good science.

Professor Goof,
I'm considering submitting you

for a Nobel Prize.

Gawrsh! They sure know
how to make a janitor

feel important around here.

Not even one sold.

Things can't get much worse than this.

Hey, Mac, I found part of your order
in the back of my truck.

No!

There's someone special
I'd like you to meet.

Professor Goof, meet Saylor.

Gawrsh! Sure is a cute little feller.

Must be one of them pygmalions.

Friendly, ain't he? Ah-hyuck!

I'll leave you two alone

so you can get started
on Saylor's training program a-s-a-p.

A-s-a-p to you, too, sir!

So you're gonna train me, huh?

Petey always said
a monkey could do my job.

Never knew one could be my boss, too.

[chattering]

Yes, sir! I won't let you down.

I'll get this stain out in no time, sir.

You're right. I need more water.

There's so much I can learn
from you, Mr. Saylor.

I admire your no-monkeyin'-around
can-do attitude

and your years of experience,

not to mention the way
you peel a banana with your feet.

It's best to get on the boss' good side.

[gibbering]

Sorry, your monkeyness.
I'll have that cleaned up right away!

[gibbering]

No, sir!
Haven't forgotten about the stain.

Right away, sir.

Uh-oh.

[both coughing]

Gawrsh! This cleanin'
stuff sure is strong!

Gets rid of the stains.

Say, Professor Goof,
what's all the commotion about?

I heard a big kaboom.

Uh, well...

Ohh, you're a genius.

Say no more.
You're working on the big bang theory.

Well, that's terrific.

Listen, when do you think
you can schedule our launch date?

Oh, how about tomorrow?
Usually have lunch around noon.

Tomorrow?

Tomorrow? Well, that's excellent!

By the way, the scuttlebutt is

that you're a shoo-in
for that Nobel Prize.

Uh-oh. The boss looks upset
about not bein' invited to lunch.

Time to score some more brownie points.

Uh, Mr. Saylor,
would you honor me and Maxie

by comin' to dinner at our house tonight?

[hooting]

Guess that's a yes. Ah-hyuck!

[Goofy]
Maxie, I'd like you to meet my boss.

Mr. Saylor.

Dad, that's a monkey.

[chattering]

Maxie, he's a chimp.

What are you tryin' to do, get me fired?

Sorry, Dad. I didn't mean anything by it.

Aw, I know, Son.
It's just that he's the sensitive type.

[doorbell rings]

[gibbering]

Well, hello there, Goofster.

Heard you were havin' your boss
over for din-din.

Thought I'd drop by
and put in a good word for you.

Gawrsh! Thanks, Pete.
Don't mind if you do.

Mr. Saylor's just finishin' up dessert.
I'll tell him you're here.

Heh heh heh.

Rocket companies use
all kind of weird gadgets.

These things could make
me a bigrillionaire...

Whatever they are.

Saylor, old buddy, old pal, old chum,
call me Pete.

I got somethin' here
just perfect for your spaced-out program.

Pretty, ain't it? Heh heh.

You can have 'em all
for let's say, oh, 10 grand.

OK, that's real cute.

Five grand?

One grand?

Hey! What are you tryin' to do,
make a monkey out of me?

[gibbering]

You shouldn't use the "M" word, Petey.

No chimp's gonna make a chump out of me!

Hey, I got me an idea.

So, Professor Goof,

how's our little training program
comin' along?

Uh, I'm doin' my best, sir,
but it's not easy.

Well, don't let it
get you down in the mouth.

You can only expect so much
out of a dumb animal.

Oh, I know, sir, but I'm really tryin'.

Personally, I find
that using a banana as a reward

gets results.

It also builds self-esteem.

-I'm willin' to try anything.
[door closing]

I feel my steam goin' up already.

[buzz]

Duck and cover!

Gawrsh, I knew janitor
work was challengin',

but I never expected anything like this.

[banana dispenser dings]

[Goofy] Hmm. Time to put
my elbows to the grindstone

and use some nose grease.

I won't let you down this time,
Mr. Saylor.

I'll have this place looking
like there's no tomorrow,

or my name isn't Fred-- Er, Goofy.

Hmm. Almost had it right that time.

[chattering]

All that's left is to check the attic
for some dust bunnies.

All I gotta do is get this stuff
aboard that rocket ship,

then sell 'em as space souvenirs.

Halt! Who goes there?

Uh, the Goofball's assistant--

Uh, I mean, uh,
Professor Goof's personal attaché.

Just go on through.

Ha ha ha!
Once this rocket gets back to Earth,

this junk'll be worth a fortune
as genuine space souvenirs.

[automated female voice]
Clear the area for launch.

10, 9, 8,

7, 6,

5, 4,

3, 2, 1.

Lift-off!

[Pete, laughing] What an idea this was!

Maybe I'll sell 'em for 50 bucks each.

Say they belonged to some alien.

-[gasp]
-Martian pet rocks.

Not bad. Better hurry.

Hmm. Gettin' dark early.

It's only 2 p.m.

Petey! Why are you here?

Well, I, uh... See, I, uh...

I just dropped by to say hello.

Hello.

Hello.

Well, see ya.

Really enjoyed our chat, Petey.

Whoa!

Gawrsh! The rocket sure seems a lot taller
lookin' out from the inside.

Pull me inside, you Goof!
We're headin' into outer space.

I don't think so, Petey.
If we was, we'd be weightless.

Whoa! Whoa!

Whaddya say now, Goofbrain?

Look at the bright side.

You've been wanting to lose some weight.
Ah-hyuck!

[gibbering]

[Goofy] Hey, look. It's Mr. Saylor!

Maybe he can do something.

Oh, terrific.

My life is in the hands of a dumb ape.

You're wrong, Petey.
Mr. Saylor's very smart.

I wasn't talkin' about him!

You gotta get us down.
Try pushin' some buttons.

Not that button!

Not that one, either!

Hmm. Peanut butter and jelly. My favorite.

Who in the wild blue yonder
ordered a lift-off?

[chattering]

Well, I'll be.

First the professor saves our program,
then he uses himself as a guinea pig.

Now that's what I call the right stuff.

Uh-oh. Got a situation here, boys.
They're almost outta fuel.

Professor Goof, Red Crocker here.

I got a tiny bit of bad news for you.

I think you better sit down.

Now, here's the long
and short of it, boys.

The rocket's too heavy
with both of you aboard.

She doesn't have enough fuel
to get you home.

Too heavy?

Hey! Let go, Petey!

I don't wanna go outside!

Now don't be such a baby.
The fresh air will do you good.

[Crocker] That won't do you any good.

Even if you unloaded everything
that wasn't nailed down,

you still wouldn't have enough fuel
to run a lawn mower.

You see, the rocket was only designed
for a chimp.

Sandee Seznee here, live from Rocketdarn,

where an unscheduled launch
took place minutes ago.

We're attempting to patch

into live transmissions
coming from the rocket,

where two brave, heroic astronauts--

Help me!

I'm too young to die!
You got to get me down!

Boy, my dad will stoop to anything
to sell his cars.

Wish we had butter for this popcorn.

Oh, where's the remote?

Let's see what else is on.

[Pete] We're headin' straight for the sun!

Now, don't worry about the sun, Petey.
It'll be night soon.

Don't you get it, you air brain?

We're gonna burn up! What're we gonna do?

We'll find out right after this
important message from our sponsor.

[Pete] It's all over.

I'm headin' to that big
used car lot in the sky.

[sobbing]

It's been nice knowin' you, sort of, Goof.

Goof?

Goof? Where are you?

Just tidying up a little, Petey.

I figure if we got to go,
might as well go in a clean ship.

Put on some clean underwear, too.

[steam horn blowing]

That does it!

Before I go, I'm takin' you out!

Oh, thanks, Petey.
But do you think peg will mind?

Let go of my mop!
I still gotta do the corners.

Let me have that! Give that here!

I need that! Let go of that mop!

Gawrsh! The cleaning solution's
eatin' its way into the fuel tank!

-[fuel indicator beeping]
-Look. Professor Goof did it.

He concocted a new fuel
with enough kick to send that big bird

winging back to old terra firma!

-[gibbering]
-Of course he did.

[chatter]

Yahoo!

-Hee hee!
-We did it!

Looks like it's gonna be smooth sailin'
from here on, Petey.

Uh-oh. My space souvenirs!

Petey, where you goin'?

Better put on some sunscreen!

[Crocker] Professor Goof,
are you sure you won't reconsider

and stay on at Rocketdarn?

Ooh, thanks, but since I got
all my bills paid off,

I thought I'd pass on my mop
and give another guy a chance.

Well, we're grateful.

You gave the space program
a real kick in the pants. Right, Saylor?

[chattering]

Thanks, Mr. Saylor.

Winnin' your respect means a lot to me.

[chattering]

Oh, and, uh, thanks for the Nobel Prize.

I think I'll have it bronzed.

♪ Gimme a beat ♪

[theme music playing]

Yeah!