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01x62 - Partners in Grime

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Goof Troop". Aired: September 5 – December 5, 1992.*
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Goofy, a single father, moves back to his hometown of Spoonerville with his son, Max, and they end up moving in next door to his high school friend Pete.

01x62 - Partners in Grime

Post by bunniefuu »

Ah-hyuck!

♪ H-h-h-hit it ♪

♪ Like father, like son ♪

♪ You're always number one ♪

Yes!

♪ There's buddies, there's pals ♪

Yeah!

♪ You always seem to work things out ♪

♪ Can't you see you're two of a kind ♪

♪ Lookin' for a real good time ♪

Woah!

♪ A real good time ♪

Aah!

♪ Report to the Goof Troop ♪

♪ And we'll always stick together ♪

♪ Always stick together ♪

♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ The best of friends forever ♪

♪ Side by side wherever we go ♪

♪ We're always ready to roll ♪

-♪ Now gimme a beat ♪
-♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ And we always stick together ♪

Gawrsh!

♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ The best of friends forever ♪

♪ Now we're calling everyone ♪

♪ Come along and join the fun ♪

♪ Report to the Goof Troop ♪

♪ Baa ba doo da bop baa ba doo bop ♪

Yeah!

Welcome to National Used Car Day!

Support the country
and buy a used car from Uncle Pete.

Got this baby from the National Guard.

Used it for covert operations.

Yeah. Built low to escape radar.

Yep, neighbor, nothin' like a used RV
to see this great country. [chuckles]

He'll be lucky to make it
outta the county.

Hey, granny, I'll give you
the senior citizen's special--

Free tune-up after 800,000 miles.

[honking]

Hey, watch where you're goin'!

Whaddaya think you're doin'?

I got strict rules about solicitizin'.

Nobody comes on the lot without the-- oh!

Say, you got them little packs
of powdered doughnuts?

Ooh, they're good.

Uh-uh-uh. This is no time for food.

I came here to make a deal.

Yep, she's a beaut.

Yeah! Most efficient car on the lot, too.

Gets 100--200 miles to the gallon.

Paint's imported from the foothills
of Montezuma.

-Very expensive.
-I'll take her.

Got a diamond-studded rearview mirror,

mined in the darkest regions
of East Svengali.

-You'll take her?
-Money is no object.

The little lady
issued an ultimatum today--

Get rid of all this excess money

or dump the catering business.

You see, if I fill up
another room with this stuff,

Muffy'll have no place to sleep.

P-p-poor little Muffster.

This blasted catering business
has been nothing but headaches.

What am I supposed to do
with all this money, huh?

I can't spend it fast enough.

So this is the albatross
round your neck, eh?

The route's the secret, of course--

A territory where the natives
can't get enough of my cooking.

Why, if I have to open up
another bank account,

I--I think I'll go mad. I tell you, mad!

Secret route, eh?
Partner, put away your money.

Old Petey is gonna help you out.

-Really?
-I've got a spare car.

You've got a spare business.

You don't mean...

Let's negotiate.

Come and get it, boys!

The secret of the flavor
is all in the sauce.

Ah-hyuck.

Hey, Pop! Where's my yeast culture
for science class?

That must have been my secret ingredient.
Ah-hyuck.

[together] Oh, no! Goofy burgers!

-Now, P.J., you go first.
-No. Please, after you.

-No, I insist.
-No, I you think you should.

-No, you're the guest.
-I can't. I'm allergic.

Now, don't fight.
There's plenty to go around.

Here's yours, P.J. -- Medium-rare.

Uh, thanks, Mr. G.

I think I'll take my time
and kinda savor it.

Suit yourself.
I'll go back and get Maxie's.

Hey, Pop! I like mine real well-done.

Take your time. All night if you want.

Psst, hey, Waffles,
I got somethin' for ya.

[meow]

[yowls]

Don't worry, Chainsaw.
I think this one's cooked.

[yelping]

Hey, what a happy little doggy. Ah-hyuck!

Hiya, fellers. Finished already?

I better go throw some more on.

-Oh, that's OK, Pop.
-Yeah, don't sweat it.

-I'm trying to cut down on red meat.
-Bye!

Okey-dokey! See ya later!

We can finish them at dinner!

Kids-- just can't wait to go out
and work up an appetite.

Ah-hyuck!

You bought that rattrap?

Oh, but it was a steal, sweetums.

The spud even threw in his secret route.

You it was a steal, all right.

He kept the kitchen.

Why that noisy little fleabag, I'll--

Well, it seems like someone
finally outsold you.

Don't be ridiculous.

Nobody outsmarts yours truly.

Sure. This just shows to go you
how valuable this route is.

That guy didn't even have to cook
the food, and he still made a bundle.

If he had a brain the size of his ego,

his head wouldn't fit in Nebraska.

Ooh, baby! We are gonna be rich.

Just think how much I'll make
with cooked grub.

Question is, who's gonna cook it?

And how am I gonna get him
to do it for free?

[Goofy] Come and get it, kids!

Hmm?

Got more Goofy burgers,
if you're hungry, fellers!

Fellers! Wonder where they went.

-Hiya, neighbor.
-Oh, hi, Petey.

Say, Goof, ever think
of putting them burgers to work for ya?

Oh, I tried once,

but the aprons kept slidin' off.

No, no, no.

Now, what I mean is,
you got a natural talent.

Thanks, Petey. Ah-hyuck!

Not many people can play choppysticks

on their skull with a spoon. Ah-hyuck!

Take a good look, Goof. What do you see?

I don't know, Pete. Won't stay still.

Goof, you're lookin'
at the future of food.

Mobile meals. Dinner to your door!

Your chance to cook and see the world!

Gawrsh. You mean the Eiffely Tower?

The Leanin' Power of Pizzas?

The Great Wall of Fine China?

Well, not exactly,

but try Cue Ball Falls, Moonstone Canyon,

and the Hotplate Valley
Tanning Salon and Nail Parlor.

Did I mention I'll pay you
the full minimum wage?

It's the least I could do.

Gawrsh! I could start
a college fund for Maxie.

OK, Petey! It's a deal!

A toast, Goof, to our new business.

Plaah!

[retching and coughing]

Help.

I can see it now, Petey.

We're gonna knock 'em dead.

[belch]

Petey?

I've been robbed!

What'd you say, Petey?

Goof, have you seen my refrigera--

Got it right here, Pete.

Pete? Now where'd he go?

Well, what do you think?

Goof, what in the name of frostfree

are you doing with my kitchen?

Gawrsh! You wanted it to look like home.

Well, I figured there was
no place is homier than Pete's.

How am I gonna break this to the Pegster?

[Peg] Aah! Pete!

I got a feelin' she already knows, Pete.
Ah-hyuck!

[Peg] Ugh! Pete, would you
please listen to me?

You've been conned.

But possum-face,
stop trying to hold me back.

I can order you a new kitchen. I'll order
you the whole catalogue if you want.

We're gonna be rich!

Ha. Peter, read my lips.
You've been swindled!

Now, come on, Peg. Now, trust me here.

It's a secret route.

Any idjit could clean up.

And I'm not just any idjit, you know?

I think I'll get supplies
and surprise Petey.

Uh-oh! I better take his wallet
for safekeepin'.

You want to buy a chicken?

A live one?

Pete's list just says chicken.

I s'pose you wanna buy a cow, too.

Why not? The more, the merrier.

Are you sure you want to buy--

I mean, to do this thing?

Cows are expensive,

and livestock is a risky operation.

Oh, that won't stop Petey. Ah-hyuck!

He's an entreprenavel--

Uh...an extramanure--

Uh, a real businessman. Ah-hyuck!

Here. I'll give you one of his cards.

Hold the bacon! Yes, sir.
I'll get right on it.

[Pete] Ooh, I'm gonna be rich!

Where've you been, you Goof?
We got supplies to buy.

-All finished, partner.
-Why, that's great!

You used my credit cards?

Did it ever impress those guys.

That stuff's expensive, you know.

[muttering]

...of a neighbor!

Gold-lined yacht or silver?

Oh, what the heck? Go for gold.

-[clucks]
-Not now, Goof, I'm busy.

[sniffing] Ooh, boy.

Goof, that meat smells kind of rude.

Gawrsh, Pete,
they've been pretty nice so far.

Aah!

Ba-ba-ba-ba... M-moo moo cluck.

Pete, this is Charlene.

All her friends call her Chuck.

[moo]

That's Henny. She's real nice, too.

[clucking]

Goof, when I said buy chicken,

I didn't mean buy a chicken!

Gee, Pete. I didn't want
to get more than one.

Thought that might be pushin' it.

Just make sure you return them
and get the money back!

Sure, Petey!
As long as you got that receipt.

Receipt?

Hey, Pete, OK if we stop
at the scenic view?

They wanna get some pictures.

-[moo]
-[cluck]

[Pete sobbing]

♪ Old macdonald had a farm ♪

♪ E-i-e-i-o ♪

♪ And on this farm he had a cow ♪

♪ E-i-e-i-o ♪

♪ With a--♪

-♪ [moo moo]
- Here and a-- ♪

-♪ [bawk bawk]
- There--♪

Will you stop it with
that c*ck song?

♪ The farmer in the dell ♪

♪ The farmer in the dell ♪

Hit the brakes, Goof! This is the stop!

-[moo-yuck]
-[bawk-yuck]

Heh heh heh.

Probably works the graveyard shift. Yeah.

Sandwiches!

Get your sandwiches right here!

[echo] Right here, right here...

Lousy spider. Fight like a man, ya...

Whoa!

Whoa-oh-oh-oh!

Hey, Petey! Must be their day off!

Gawrsh, Petey, maybe
the long way around's safer.

-[moo]
-[bawk]

Aw, pipe down. I'm doing the drivin'.

See? Nothin' to worry about.

I guess it's one of them swingin' bridges.

-Aah!
-Aah!

[Goofy] Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Help!

Goof!

What are ya doin', Petey, butterfly?

I can't understand it.

This is s'posed to be the busiest stop.

[coughing] water...

Water...

A customer! About time. Goof, you ready?

Three cooks, no waitin'.

OK, Mac, what'll it be?

[gasping] Water... water...

Tut-tut-tut. Let me read you
the specials first.

We got your peanut butter and your jelly,

your peanut butter and marshmelly,

nuclear chili, hot pretzels
with super-spicy mustard,

Here you go, mister. On the house.

On the house?

You Goof! We could have
charged him double!

One, two, carry the six,
subtract the square root,

and divide by the multiplier equals--

Where did you get that?

He tipped me. Ah-hyuck!

Can't wait to put it
in Maxie's college fund.

Goof, are you sure we're
getting close to Spoonerville?

That's what the map says.

But it's upside-down!

Oh, well, uh, I guess we're a little
further from Spoonerville

than I thought. Ah-hyuck!

[Pete] Now, don't worry
about a thing, honey.

Everything's under control.

We're just stayin' over

to get a jump on the breakfast trade.
Yeah.

[Peg] so, uh, how much
money have you made so far?

[stammering] Oh, I can't talk about
that now right now, Peg.

See, we're in the middle
of a high-level stragety meeting.

OK, ladies, read 'em and weep.

-[moo]
-[bawk bawk bawk]

Where were you born, a barn?

[snoring]

[snoring]

-[moo]
-[bawk]

[whistles]

[snore]

-[moo]
-[bawk]

[whistles]

[snore]

-[moo]
-[bawk]

[whistles]

Hmm. It's time to shave
those legs, honey bear.

[sniffing]

What kind of perfume you got on?

[snorting]

Ooh. Petey's favorite.

Huh?

How's about a kiss for
ol' Pork-belly Pie, honey?

[gulps] Would a handshake do?

Aah!

Pork-belly Pie?

-Huh?
-Moo?

[muttering]

Some stupid Goof--
Can't sleep with all this--[muttering]

Cows-- gosh darn, no good, rotten...

[snoring]

[rumbling]

Oh, mama, give me five more minutes.

It's still dark out.

[yawns]

Wonder if it stops at Spoonerville.

Wonder if it stops at all!

-[horn blaring]
-aah!

-Help! Stop!
-[horn blaring]

Slow down!

Aah!

Loco locomotive.

From now on, it's air travel all the way.

[engine starts]

-[moo]
-[bawk]

Yeah, yeah, good mornin',

You refugees from a fryin' pan.

-Huh?
-[bawk-bawk]

Hey, you barnyard b*mbos! Get back here!

-[coughing]
-[tires screeching]

[snoring]

Goof! Your pet pals stole the truck!

They didn't steal it, Pete.

Chuck borrowed it to look up
her uncle out here.

I don't believe it.

Me, either.

Didn't know she could drive stick.

Ah-hyuck.

Well, they're not wreckin' my truck!

My insurance is gonna go through the roof.

-[tires screech]
-[bottles clatter]

-Good morning.
-Yeah, yeah, fine.

I'd like a half-pound of butter,
a quart of milk, and some cream,

and while you're at it,
throw in the truck!

Hey, wait! Who do you think
you are, chunky?

Howdy. I'm Goofy. That was Pete.

-Here's his i.d.
-Huh?

Wait for me, Petey!

Why didn't you say so?

The customer's always right.

[horn honking]

[moo]

Hey, you bovine bamboozler!

Pull over, and we'll settle this like men!

-[bawk]
-I mean, cows!

-[muh-uh]
-[tires screech]

Ah! Chicken, eh?

No, Petey, Henny's the chicken.

Hey, pal! Take that salad bar
somewhere else!

Whoa!

Gawrsh! Too bad all the salad dressing's
in the other truck.

[growling]

Ha! We'll head him off with this shortcut.

Gawrsh, it's short, all right.

Where'd they go?

Hey, Pete, either we're in front,

or we're but goin' the wrong way.

Move!

Let's see if butterin' up
those critters will slow 'em down.

Bombs away!

-[bawk]
-[moo]

[loud crash]

Ah-hyuck!

Now, that's what I call excitin'.

Excitin'?

You want excitin'?

I'll show you exciting!

Now, take it easy, Pete.

[bawk ba-ba-bawk]

Not now, you featherhead!
Can't you see I'm busy?

Pete, lookie.

Huh?

Oh, mama.

It's the mother lode.

Sorry, Goof, you and your pals
are fired, see?

I'm workin' this crowd myself.

[moo]

[whispering]

-[moo]
-Severance pay?

Oh, I'll sever ya!

Forget it!

-[laughing]
-[engine revving]

Say! I been lookin' for a cow
to represent me and my ranch.

By golly, I think you're it, little lady.

Mmmoi?

I'll give you 20,000 for her.

Oh, that's awful kind of you,

but I don't think I could carry
all them pennies.

[chuckles] I'm talkin' about greenbacks,
partner. 50 grand.

-Fifty?
-OK, 100,000.

Now, that's my final offer.

Take Henny, too, and you got a deal.

-They're pals, ya know.
-Absolutely.

I'm kinda partial to chickens myself.

Gawrsh! Max could go to
medical school on that.

Wait'll I tell Petey. Ah-hyuck!

[Pete] OK, come on.

Come on, baby. Just a little bit farther.

You can do it. Don't fail me now.

[horns honking La Cucaracha]

Where did all those
roach coaches come from?

I gotta get there first, or I'm finished!

Go, baby, go! Go, baby, go!

Just a little bit further!

[horns honk la Cucaracha]

We're almost there. Please, please!

[engine sputtering]

[sobbing]

[clattering]

[Pete] All right, all right. You win.

That old guy was good.

He conned me fair and square.

Yeah, but, see, I'm a professional.

But nobody fools with a fool
like me and gets away with much.

I know how to cut my losses.

Yeah! All you had to pay for
was the new kitchen for mommy,

All that food in the truck,

a cow, a chicken, a milk truck,

a tow from way, way faraway.

[chuckles] Yeah,
that's enough for now, p*stol.

That's mommy's little girl.

Daddy and I were just going
to discuss cutting his losses!

[doorbell rings] I'll get it!

Ah-hyuck! Hi, everybody!

I knew you'd be too tired to fix dinner,

So I whipped up some Goofy burgers!

[all scream]

Huh. Must not be hungry.

Leaves more for me. Ah-hyuck!

Boney appetitey! Ah-hyuck!

♪ Gimme a beat ♪

[theme music playing]

Yeah!