[Dorothy] When I met him,
Mark Twain was already famous.
Recognized and loved by people
all over the world.
I had read Life on the
Mississippi,
A Connecticut Yankee
in King Arthur's Court,
The Prince and the Pauper,
and, for the third time, Tom
Sawyer.
Mark Twain was soon to become
the most important person in my life.
But I didn't realize at the time
how much the friendship
of an ordinary little girl
would mean to him.
[thunder rumbling]
[Mrs. Quick] Oh, that rain is
awful.
We should never have come
to London for our holiday.
This weather is terrible
for your bronchitis, Dorothy.
Mother, I feel fine.
Now, now, you just sit right
here
while I arrange for my theater
ticket.
Yes, Mother.
[Twain] Concierge! My good man!
May I be of service, Mr. Twain?
I hope so.
I am baffled by this thing.
What's it supposed to be?
An ashtray, sir.
Is that right?
Well, that's a mathematical
impossibility.
And a fire hazard to boot.
I see the problem.
I shall have something else
sent up right away, sir.
[Twain] Good.
I make it a lifelong practice
never to smoke when I'm asleep,
and never to refrain when awake.
The secret of my longevity.
Dorothy.
Mother...
do you know who that was?
Oh, have you been out?
Ninety-six seconds.
If this is as good a hotel
as it purports to be,
they'll be up here
inside of three minutes.
[knock on door]
One minute, 42 seconds.
[laughs] Albert,
this is what I call a four-star
hotel.
Here you are, Mr. Twain, sir.
Hope this will suffice.
[Twain] It will.
And I thought you might like
the morning paper, sir.
You're the front-page news.
Oh, yeah? Well, what's the
matter?
Don't you people have any wars
or crimes or scandals over here?
No, sir.
I mean, yes, sir.
Well... here you are.
Thank you, sir.
But if it isn't too much
trouble,
I'd rather shake the hand of
Mark Twain.
Oh. Hm.
-What's your name?
-Monahan, sir. Patrick.
Clemens, Sam. Glad to meet you.
Thank you. Thank you, Mr.
Clemens, sir.
-Yeah.
-Thank you.
[door closes]
Would you like to get some more
work done?
Tell me about the steamship
captain.
That's great material for the
biography.
Look at that headline.
"Mark Twain arrives in England,
Ascot Cup stolen." Ha!
[subdued chatter]
-[Twain] Ah...
-[Maitre'd] How are you this evening?
[applause]
[Twain] Hello, there.
It's 7:30, ma'am.
Oh, my goodness. I hadn't
realized.
Up you go, Dorothy. To bed.
The play begins in half an hour.
Mother, Mr. Twain just got here.
Can't I stay just a little
longer?
[Mrs. Quick] No, no, no. Go on,
now.
Bedtime is 8:00,
and I must get to the theater
on time.
-Good night, Mother.
-Good night, dear.
[Albert] What would you feel
like?
You know, Albert, my wife Livvy
used to sing this song to the
children when they were young.
Such good times we had.
Sometimes we laughed so hard
it'd hurt,
and we couldn't catch our
breath.
Can't remember the last time
I laughed that hard.
Are you excited about tomorrow?
Well, I'm just afraid
that Oxford is going to realize
the enormity of their mistake
and call the whole thing off.
[man] I give you
Dr. Samuel Langhorne Clemens--
Mark Twain.
[cheers and applause]
Most admirable and charming sir,
you shake the sides of the
whole world
with your merriment.
[Twain] Thank you.
[applause]
Well, I expect most of you
read the headline
in the newspaper yesterday.
"Mark Twain Arrives," "Ascot
Cup Stolen."
-[all laugh]
-No doubt many a person
was misled by those sentences
joined together
in that unkind way.
I can tell you here and now
I never saw that cup.
Somebody else snatched it
before I had a chance to.
-[laughter]
-A few years ago,
it pleased me beyond measure
when Missouri University
made me a Doctor of Laws,
because I know absolutely
nothing about laws
except how to evade them
and not get caught.
-[laughter]
-Now today at Oxford,
I'm being made a Doctor of
Letters.
All pure profit...
because what I don't know about
letters
would make me a multimillionaire
if I could turn it into cash.
You look tired.
No one should have to give
so many speeches in one day.
I'm getting old, Albert.
The last time Livvy and I
were in England...
in a room very much like this
one...
we got the cable
that our dearest child Susy...
had died suddenly at home.
She was 24.
It still amazes me.
It's one of the mysteries of
our natures.
What is?
That a man all unprepared...
could receive a thunderstroke
like that and live.
She was such a...
sweet and serious little girl.
How I wish I paid more attention
to Susy and Clara and Jean
when they were young.
But we're always too busy
for our children.
We lavish gifts upon them
and praise them in their
absence.
But the most precious gift,
our time and attention,
which means so much to them,
we give grudgingly...
and then throw it away on others
that don't really matter.
Then one day,
there comes a time when
you want your child's company...
[choking up] more than...
more than... more than anything
in the world...
but it's too late.
You get some sleep now.
Things will seem brighter
when we set sail for home in
the morning.
Albert?
I'm going to give you two more
years.
Two years to finish
your research for my biography.
Why only two? You'll live to be
a hundred.
No.
I came in with Halley's Comet
in 1835.
It's coming again in a couple
of years,
and I expect to go out with it.
It'll be the greatest
disappointment of my life
if I don't.
[foghorn blows]
[Twain coughing]
I believe where I've hit upon
the best way
for you to compile your notes
for my biography.
It came to me during the night.
It is the pen that makes things
so difficult and time-consuming.
I plan to hire a secretary
that can do this new shorthand
writin',
and she can write it down later,
and you can edit it.
-[Albert] Good idea.
-[Twain] Yeah.
[Albert] I'm going to go below
and do some work.
-Are you coming?
-Nah, you go on. I like the air.
All right. But if it turns
cold...
you come out of the wind.
You're getting to be an old
woman, Albert.
Don't you worry.
I'm too much of an egotist to
die
before you finish my biography.
Yeah. [groans]
Hello, madam. How are you?
[indistinct chatter]
Excuse me, young lady.
But I don't seem to remember
your name.
But you've never met me before,
Mr. Twain.
Well, that's true,
now that you point it out.
That's certainly true.
That must be one of the reasons
why I've forgotten your name.
[chuckles] Oh, but I remember
it now.
It's Mary.
No, it isn't. It's Dorothy.
Ha! Well...
a few years ago I wouldn't
have made that mistake.
You know, when I was young
I could remember anything,
whether it happened or not.
[laughs] But old age is
creeping up on me.
But I remember now.
It is Dorothy McGillicuddy.
No, it isn't.
It's Dorothy Quick.
Oh, I'm ashamed of myself.
Dorothy Quick.
Of course.
How old are you, dear?
Eleven. Eleven in a month.
What are you reading?
Tom Sawyer. It's very good.
Oh!
Have you read any of my others?
Almost every one.
[laughing] Oh! Eleven in a
month!
Oh! Extremely intelligent
[chuckles]
Yeah, it seems to me
that we are perfectly matched
for this occasion.
I like young ladies dressed in
white.
I hope you will always wear
white
whenever we stroll the deck
together.
-I will.
-[laughs]
[woman] Mr. Twain!
Mr. Twain!
Oh, Mr. Twain, I've been
looking for you everywhere.
Four members of the Weehawken
ladies' reading club are here.
Girls, look who's here!
Ah! Would you autograph my copy
of Huckleberry Finn?
Why, I-I'd be delighted.
We all have questions
we're just dying to ask you.
What is your name, madam?
Arabella.
What a musical name.
Arabella.
I must give this some serious
thought.
The perfect inscription for
Arabella.
[chuckles]
Let me hold on to this a while.
Of course.
Wonderful.
Girls!
Let's go.
[Arabella] Look who I found!
He's going to autograph my book.
Mr. Twain?
Come back.
Where could he have gone?
Mr. Twain!
[Twain] Come on.
Yeah. This way, this way.
[Arabella] Come back, Mr. Twain!
Come back!
[indistinct chattering]
[gasps]
That's him, straight ahead.
Hurry, ladies, hurry.
Mr. Twain! Mr. Twain!
[woman] We lost him.
[laughs]
[giggles]
Oh, I haven't done
this kind of thing in years.
I've never done this kind of
thing.
-[sighs]
-Won't we get in trouble?
Nah. I don't think so.
I'm famous, I'm old, and I'm a
writer.
They expect these
eccentricities.
Now, I believe you were about
to tell me
why Tom Sawyer's your favorite
book.
I like it because Tom and Huck
were such good friends.
I've never had a friend like
that.
-Not one?
-No.
And the adventures they had,
and the trouble they got into.
Fishing, and rafting, and
exploring caves,
and playing pirates,
sneaking into graveyards
in the middle of the night.
[laughs]
Say...
have you read this one?
[Dorothy] Not yet. I was saving
it.
Oh, well, read it. It's my
favorite.
Don't you think the lady
will want it back?
Don't you worry, dear.
I'll make it up to her on the
inscription.
[steam whistle blows]
Oh, no.
Mother will be furious with me.
Oh, you're traveling with your
parents?
Just my mother.
My father died when I was a
child.
I'm sorry.
You know, I lost my own father
when I was just about your age.
Come on, here we go.
[sighs] Yeah.
Say, maybe tomorrow
we could play some
of those horse billiards.
-Shuffleboard?
-Yeah.
-I would love to.
-[chuckles]
Goodbye.
Bye.
Yeah.
[sighs] Yeah.
[knock on door]
[gasps] Mr. Twain!
Dorothy told me that she had
met you,
but what an unexpected...
I mean, what a delightful
surprise.
I beg your pardon,
but I came to ask Dorothy
if she could join me for dinner
at the captain's table tonight.
But it completely escaped my
memory
that children are in bed at
8:00.
I can get dressed again.
Please, Mother?
And I haven't even introduced
myself.
Mother, this is Mr. Clemens.
Mr. Clemens, my mother, Mrs.
Quick.
-Such a pleasure.
-I am sorry.
Can I, Mother? Just this once?
[Mrs. Quick] No, Dorothy.
I'm sorry, Mr. Clemens,
but it's just too late for
Dorothy.
Does this leave you
without a dinner companion?
It's all my fault.
It's been too many years
since my own daughters were in
pigtails.
I'll see you tomorrow, Dorothy.
We'll go for our walk
on the promenade deck.
All right.
Thank you for asking all the
same.
Remember to wear white,
so I'll be sure to recognize
you.
I will.
Good night, Mrs. Quick.
I apologize for the intrusion.
Maybe another time.
[Dorothy] Has the lady asked
for her book back yet?
[Twain] Not yet, but I'm getting
plenty of exercise
outrunning the Weehawken
Ladies' Sprinting Society.
[laughs]
Tell me about yourself.
How do you get on in school?
Oh, I don't go to school.
I have chronic bronchitis,
so Mother keeps me at home
with a private tutor.
You know, I had this bronchitis
thing myself for years.
-You've got bronchitis too?
-Yes.
And if you must be sick,
I suggest you try something
else.
[chuckles]
Here, now have a peppermint.
Now, they're good for the
bronchitis.
Thank you.
You know, shame about you
having a tutor.
You're being deprived of one
of life's greatest pleasures.
Going to school?
Unh-unh.
Playing hooky.
[Dorothy laughs]
[Twain] Well, not bad for your
first time.
[Dorothy] I'm sure it's just
beginner's luck.
Yeah. You always been so lucky?
Yesterday, I met the famous
writer Mark Twain.
That was pretty lucky.
Yeah, I heard of him.
But lately, he's more famous
for being famous
than for writing anything.
I think he's the best writer in
the world.
Why, thank you, dearheart.
You know, I could live for two
weeks on a compliment like that.
You are a very perceptive child.
-[chuckles]
-Thank you.
Now, if you're as lucky as you
claim,
I should make you my manager.
-You're teasing me.
-No, I'm not.
Miss Quick, would you do me the
honor
of becoming my business manager?
At least until the ship reaches
New York.
-Really?
-Absolutely.
What do I have to do?
Well, you're my manager,
whatever comes up... you manage
it.
[knock on door]
Mrs. Quick, may we see your
daughter?
Well, of course.
Please come in.
Miss Dorothy,
we came to ask your permission
for Mark Twain to speak
at the ship's concert
for the benefit of the sailors'
fund.
My permission?
We asked him directly, miss,
but he said we had to ask you.
-That's right.
-He said, "I never do anything
"unless my business manager
says so.
Whatever Dorothy says, goes."
Oh.
Well...
in that case...
I hereby give my permission.
[indistinct chattering]
Good evening.
[band playing lively tune]
[applause]
Mother, look.
Tonight we are privileged,
thanks to the kind permission
of Miss Dorothy Quick...
[applause]
...to present our most famous
man of letters.
Now, I give you the man who
warned us:
"When in doubt, tell the truth."
Mark Twain.
[applause]
Ladies...
gentlemen...
and Miss Dorothy.
I did say, "When in doubt,
tell the truth."
But I invented that maxim
for the benefit of others.
When in doubt myself,
I always try to use
a little more sagacity.
[laughter]
Carlyle said, "A lie cannot
live."
But that just goes to show
he didn't know how to tell them.
[laughter]
[indistinct chattering]
[lively music playing]
Have you finished the book?
Yes. It was wonderful.
I'm afraid Tom Sawyer's
not my favorite anymore.
[Arabella] Mr. Twain?
Mr. Twain?
[laughs nervously]
Hurry, let's dance.
I don't know how to dance.
Well, there's nothing to it.
You just move your feet,
make the conversation good
so nobody will notice the rest.
-All right. I'll try.
-Hmm.
[Mrs. Quick] Dorothy? It's 9:00.
-I have to go.
-Ah, nonsense.
-Old people are hard of hearing.
-But she knows I'm not.
Yeah, well, you didn't want
to hurt my feelings, dear child.
[indistinct chattering]
What if I never see him again?
What if he's gone?
Dorothy, Mr. Clemens
is a busy and important man.
That's it. Yes.
Once we're ashore, he'll be
swept up in his own affairs,
and he won't have time
to remember a little girl
he met on a boat.
-[Twain, laughing] Oh, hello!
-[applause]
[man] How about an interview?
Mr. Twain!
It was great having you aboard,
sir.
[Arabella] Oh, Mr. Twain!
Arabella!
Arabella. Well...
here is your book.
All inscribed.
I hope you've had a very
pleasant voyage.
"To the ubiquitous Arabella.
Best wishes, Mark Twain."
Oh, that dear man.
Ladies, he says I'm ubiquitous.
[all giggle]
You'll only cause yourself
heartache
if you expect things
that aren't realistic.
[indistinct chattering]
[Twain] Whoa, hold on there,
boys.
I get paid by the word now.
I can't afford to give them
away for free.
What about the Ascot Cup?
Well, the cup's aboard the ship.
I was hoping you boys could
help me
slip it by the customs house.
[all laugh]
There he is.
Are you my Dorothy?
Yes, Mr. Clemens. I am your
Dorothy.
Well, I didn't recognize you.
Are you sure you're not
some other Dorothy?
Mine always wears white.
-Look.
-Oh!
It is you.
You weren't going to run away
without saying goodbye, were
you?
Never.
Good morning, Mrs. Quick.
Good morning, Mr. Clemens.
[reporter] We have reports on
the wireless
about your friendship with a
little girl.
Oh, yes, gentlemen.
I'd like you to meet
my good friend and manager,
Miss Dorothy Quick.
If you boys can remember how to
behave
around a well-bred young lady,
she might oblige you with a
quote or two.
-How old are you, Miss Quick?
-Where are you from?
Miss Quick, how did you meet
Mr. Twain?
-Uh, Mrs. Quick...
-Mm-hmm?
...I hope you'll let Dorothy
come and visit us soon.
I'll write to you to make
arrangements.
Oh, Mr. Clemens, this is so
kind of you.
Oh, nonsense.
It's completely selfish of me.
When I left England I was 72.
Today, I'm 65.
At this rate,
I'll be a boy again by summer.
[both laugh]
-And, Mrs. Quick...
-Yes?
...why don't you let Dorothy go
to school with other children?
She's much too serious a child.
Mr. Twain, how about a
photograph
of the two of you together?
Well... all right with you,
Dorothy?
We're happy to oblige.
-Excuse me, Miss Hardwig?
-Yes?
I can't seem to find
Huckleberry Finn
in the card catalogue,
under Mark Twain or Samuel
Clemens.
I should say not.
It has been banned
from the children's library.
Banned?
But why?
That is none of your concern.
We have decided that it was
not an appropriate book
for young readers.
But it's a wonderful book!
It's not fair!
Children are incapable
of deciding such issues for
themselves.
It is our duty to protect them.
Protect them from what?
I've already read it,
and there's nothing bad in it.
When you're older,
you may check it out
of the regular library.
-But it's not fair!
-Shh! Be quiet.
This is a library.
[billiard ba*ls clacking]
So...
what do you think
of the manuscript, Rogers?
It's right at the top of your
form.
You hear that, Albert?
Pretty high praise from
the president of Standard Oil.
Of course, he could be
prejudiced,
being my financial advisor
and oldest friend.
What do you think the critics
will say?
Well, frankly,
I think the professional critics
-are getting much too arrogant.
-Yes.
[Twain] Odd phenomenon.
You know, the older and wiser
and more serious I get,
the more the people love me
and the critics attack me.
Well, they only want you
to be funny, nothing more.
[chuckles]
Is there anything else you need
before I go to bed, Father?
No, thank you, Jean.
Jean, you're looking much
better.
Yes, the country does wonders
for my health.
I was thinking of going back
for a few weeks
before it gets too cold.
Unless you... you rather
I stay here with you, Father.
[grunts] Oh!
No, you go back to the country.
Your doctors are always arguing
for it.
Besides, you're happier there.
Fine. I'll take the early train
in the morning, then.
-Good night, Mr. Rogers.
-Good night, my dear.
-Albert.
-[Albert] Good night, Jean.
[Jean] Good night, Father.
Huh? Oh, yes. Good night, Jean.
[billiard ba*ls clack]
Gentlemen, I'm going to call it
a night as well.
But it's barely past 10:00,
Rogers.
What about our game?
Clemens, I'm 69 years old.
Don't be ridiculous.
I've known you myself longer
than that.
Such an embarrassment for a
grown man
to try and appear so young.
Good night, Clemens.
Don't stop your game on my
account.
Mm-hmm.
Another one, Albert?
No, I'm afraid not.
-I've got to get home.
-Oh.
I promised my wife
I'd take her to church tomorrow.
Oh, yes, yes.
Jean will be here tonight.
Yes. Jean.
She fusses over me to the point
of making us both miserable.
She loves you very much.
Yes. I know.
She loves too much and laughs
too little.
[Twain] "Dorothy, dear,
"will you come and make me a
visit?
"Do you think your mother could
spare you for a week?
"I thought this was a home,
"but that was only
self-deception.
"For what is a home
"without a child in it?
"This is a dreary place.
"A hushed and brooding and
lifeless place.
Aren't you sorry for me, you
little rat?"
[laughs]
"Write back and say you'll come.
P.S. If you like, you may
bring some dolls to play with."
Oh! You t*rd little rascal.
I thought you'd never come!
[laughs]
We've been holding tea for half
an hour.
I'm sorry we're late.
[Twain] Good afternoon, Mrs.
Quick.
Mr. Twain, it's such a pleasure
to see you again.
Well, come on in. Come on in
here.
Minnie, come and get the cases.
Thank you.
Well, how was the trip
from Brooklyn, Mrs. Quick?
Oh, frightful.
The roads were so congested.
It took us nearly three hours.
Oh, my. That's terrible.
I was going to ask you to stay
to tea,
but you'd never make it back
before dark if I did.
Oh, that's all right.
I'd be delighted to take tea--
No, no, no. I wouldn't dream
of being so selfish.
Now, take five minutes to
freshen up,
and then back on the road again
before it's too late.
I'm sorry to rush off.
No, I understand completely.
We'll have a proper tea when
you come
to pick up Dorothy on Sunday.
Goodbye, Mother.
You won't be homesick, dear?
She won't have time.
[laughs]
[car engine starts]
Bring your dolls?
No. I have some, of course,
but I never play with them.
-Good. Neither do I.
-[laughs]
I've always wanted to know what
Mark Twain's house looked like.
[Twain] Well, now this is only
a townhouse.
I built me a big country house,
it'll be ready next spring.
Come on now, we'll take a tour
of this one.
This is the very best room of
all.
[chuckles]
-Billiards.
-[laughs]
Can I play with you?
-Can you play billiards?
-Yes, I can.
It's a very good game to play
when you're alone a lot.
Well, let's play, then.
I'm not very good.
Well, in that case,
what should we play for?
Try this for size.
Minnie! Minnie!
Bring the tea here in the
billiard room.
[Minnie] Yes, Mr. Clemens.
All right, dear girl.
Show us what you can do.
Oh! Splendid.
Minnie, look how well Dorothy
holds a cue.
Well, hit another one,
dearheart.
Hit another one.
[Dorothy sighs]
Shall we play another?
I'm not sure I can afford it.
[laughs]
Well, to the victor goes a
cigar.
Then I'm sorry I won, Mr.
Clemens.
[laughs]
You can't go around all week
calling me Mr. Clemens.
I'd be obliged to call you Miss
Quick.
I'd feel I was talking to one of
those shorthand stenographers.
I know. It's a silly name.
When I become a writer someday,
I'll choose a wonderful
pen name, like you did.
Well, let's see if dinner's on
the table.
You want to be a writer?
Yes, I do.
But I don't know if I have any
talent.
Well, I'll tell you what.
I'll give you an assignment.
If it turns out well,
we'll carry on from there.
What do I have to do?
Well, I'll tell you half a
story.
Tomorrow morning,
while I'm working,
you write down the other half.
Are you ready?
-Ready.
-All right.
A young man is driving his
horse and buggy
through the woods on the way
to meet his fiancée
when he is held up by a tr*mp
who steals his trousers.
[both laugh]
Now, the young man
throws a lap robe over himself
to cover his loss.
But just then, his fiancée...
[Twain chuckles and grunts]
[Twain] Where was I?
In February of 1870,
you married Miss Olivia Langdon.
[Twain] Yes, I...
first saw her in the form
of an ivory miniature
in her brother Charlie's
stateroom
on the steamer at Quaker City
when she was 22.
The following December,
I met Charlie at the St.
Nicholas Hotel.
Now, I don't know
if these details are right.
I don't care a rap. They'll do
just as well as the facts.
And he introduced me
to this sweet, lovely young
girl...
his sister Olivia.
Whereupon the entire family...
I know I seem to be overloading
this sentence, and I apologize.
...went to a reading
by Mr. Charles Dickens,
and I accompanied 'em.
Now, that was 40 years ago.
And from that day to this,
his sister has never
been out of my mind...
nor my heart.
Well...
read that back to me, Miss
Harvey,
from the St. Nicholas Hotel.
"St. Nicholas Hotel.
"And he introduced me
"to a sweet and lovely
young girl, his sister Olivia.
"Whereupon the entire family
went to a reading
-by Charles Dickens--"
-[Twain] Wait a minute!
What happened to,
"They'll do just as well as the
facts"?
And where did
"overloading the sentence" go?
I'm sorry.
Did you want me to take all
that down?
Well, what do you think I'm
paying for?
[sputters]
I thought you were talking to me.
Talking to you?
Talking to you? Excuse me, Miss
Harvey.
Would you leave the room
for a moment so I could swear?
Hell and damnation!
And damn, damn, damn, damn!
Okay.
Miss Harvey?
You may resume.
I'll go in.
There has to be at least
one room in the house
a man can swear in.
Dangerous to repress an emotion
like that.
From now on, I'd appreciate
if you wrote down every word.
Leave it up to you,
I'd sound like a judge.
Humor, Miss Harvey.
Man's greatest blessing.
That's true, Father.
Jean. [chuckles]
I didn't know you were coming
today.
Did you tell your doctor?
No, I didn't.
Your letter sounded
like you were feeling low,
so I took the afternoon train.
I didn't realize you had a
houseguest.
Houseguest?
Yes. There's a little girl
sitting just outside your door.
Oh. Dorothy.
Good heavens.
She'll have heard
every blasted word I said.
If her mother finds out,
that'll be the end of our
holiday.
And rightly so.
Dorothy!
Dorothy, come in here, will you?
Yes?
You didn't happen to hear
what I was saying
when you were out in the hall,
now, did you?
Hmm?
-No.
-Good.
That was a private conversation
between me and the Almighty.
This is my daughter, Jean.
Jean, this is Miss Dorothy
Quick.
How do you do, Miss Clemens?
Happy to meet you, dear.
Well, Father, I'm a bit tired.
I think I'll spend a quiet day.
I'll see you for dinner at 8:00.
And, Dorothy,
I expect you'll have your dinner
in the kitchen at 6:00.
Oh, no. We all have our dinner
at 6:00 now.
-[Jean] In the dining room?
-Of course.
Well, I guess things have
changed since I've been a child.
I guess I should go now too.
Hmm.
I don't think your daughter
likes me very much.
Oh, nonsense.
She seemed angry.
Not at you. At me.
Why?
Well...
when she was your age,
I was too busy to be much
of a father to her.
Now it's too late.
When you love someone,
it's never too late.
[door closes]
"Quickly he slipped it out,
unseen by his betrothed.
"And while pretending
to untangle the reins,
"he gave the horse a good jab
in the flank,
causing it to run away
with him, carriage and all."
Splendid!
"He raced home, got another pair
of trousers,
and returned fully clothed
to the arms of his beloved."
Dorothy, Dorothy,
there's no doubt about it.
You are an author.
-Do you really think so?
-Certainly.
I'll tell you what I'll do.
I'll make you a charter member
of the Authors' League.
The Authors' League?
-Who else is in it?
-No one.
It'll just be the two of us.
Two authors working together.
It won't be easy.
You'll have to work hard.
But I'll teach you what I know,
and you'll teach me too.
-But I can't teach you anything.
-Of course you can.
All kinds of things.
It's been 60 years
since I was a little girl.
[Dorothy laughs]
Father, Mr. Rogers is here to
see you.
He's in the library.
Rogers, huh? Well...
Try to eat something, Dorothy.
The League will reconvene after
lunch.
Rogers!
[laughs]
Well, what brings you here
in the middle of a business day?
[sighs]
The Knickerbocker Trust Company
is going belly-up.
Well...
my luck seems to have
finally run out altogether.
Does this mean bankruptcy?
Bankruptcy would k*ll me at my
age.
I barely survived at 60.
It's not quite as bad as that.
If you're careful,
you'll have enough money to
finish the house in the country.
Oh, good. Yes, good. I...
I want Dorothy to spend a summer
in the country with me.
She needs a little Huck Finn in
her life.
-I'll take care of the details.
-Yeah, good.
Will you excuse me, please?
I left Dorothy in the dining
room.
Please, you must excuse him.
He's not been himself lately.
Don't worry, my dear.
I've known that scoundrel for
30 years.
And he gets more ornery
with every passing day.
Your father led me to believe
you were feeling better.
Yes, if I stay in the country,
the doctor says I can expect
to live a long and happy life.
You must take care of yourself.
Your father would be lost
without you.
Sometimes I wonder.
Susy was his favorite when she
was alive.
He dotes on Clara,
even though she's almost never
here,
off on a singing career.
And now he prefers
the company of a little girl.
he's only known for a few weeks.
Why can't he turn to me?
Jean...
your father is an old man
who isn't going to change.
If you want to share in his
life,
you're the one who's going
to have to bend.
But how?
You're the daughter of Mark
Twain.
I'm sure you'll find a way.
Then it just ends too abruptly.
"And returns fully clothed
to the arms of his beloved."
No, it needs some kind of punch
right there at the end.
Look at all this mail.
Birthday gifts and greetings.
Ah, well, the Authors' League
is now in recess.
Can I help?
I'm counting on it, yeah.
This one...
This one just says...
"SLC, bless your old, sweet soul
for having lived."
It's not even signed.
SLC. I like that.
Can I call you SLC?
Why, certainly. I like SLC.
[chuckles]
You know, mail is like plum
pudding.
You may crack your tooth
on a nut shell now and then,
but you never know
when you come across a plum.
Oh.
What's the matter, Dorothy?
Cracked your tooth on a nut
shell?
It's a magazine article
by Wilfred Jenkins in the
Gazette.
Read it.
"Although Twain is essentially
merely a humorist
"only one step removed
from the other newspaper jokers,
"he has found an inch of
popularity
"with the broadest public,
though certainly not the most
refined."
How can he say that?
[sighs]
Mrs. Manchester? Why would she
send this?
There, you see that?
It takes your enemy
and your friend working together
to hurt you to the heart.
The one to slander you,
and the other to get the news
to you.
Do you think friends should keep
bad news from one another?
I think best friends
should tell each other
everything.
Oh.
Why? You got something to tell
me?
I went to the library
near my house in Brooklyn.
They banned Huckleberry Finn
from the children's section.
Ugh! Banned in the borough of
Brooklyn.
Well, it's happened before.
It'll probably happen again.
You always used to say
it boosted the sales of books
if you couldn't borrow them for
free.
Well, that's right.
I did say that, didn't I?
But it's not fair.
Can't we do something?
-Is that her?
-Yes.
Are you Miss Sarah Hardwig?
Yes. Yes, I am.
I have discovered that
Huckleberry Finn
has recently been banished
from your children's room.
-Miss Hardwigs, is this correct?
-Yes, Mr. Twain.
But it wasn't solely my
decision.
I wrote Huck Finn for adults.
Exclusively for adults.
And it violently distresses me
when I discover
that boys and girls
have ever been allowed access
to it.
It does?
The mind that is soiled in youth
can never again be washed clean.
Even now I harbor
an unappeasable bitterness
against the unfaithful guardians
of my young life
who not only permitted but
compelled me
to read an unexpurgated Bible
clear through
before I was 15 years old.
And as you know,
no one can do that and ever
draw a clean,
sweet breath again this side of
the grave.
Don't you agree, Miss Hardwig?
Uh, no. I mean, yes.
[Twain] I could say a word or
two
in defense of Huck's character,
I suppose.
But truthfully, he is no better
than Solomon or David
or the rest of that sacred
brotherhood.
And if there is an unexpurgated
Bible
in the children's department,
then I want to thank you
heartily for removing Huck
from that questionable
companionship.
And good day to you, Miss
Hardwig.
Come along, Dorothy.
How did I do?
[Dorothy] You almost gave her
a conniption fit.
[Twain] Well, that's good.
You know, you're like
a tonic to me, you little rat.
[laughs]
My wife Livvy kept me young
because she was always young at
heart.
But now you've come along
and taken over the job
of keeping me young,
and I must say, dearheart,
you've done a first-rate job of
it.
[laughs]
Have you talked to your mother
abut sending you to school?
[Dorothy] She says she'll see.
That always means no.
Well, keep trying.
You can accomplish
anything you set your mind to.
No matter what happens,
you must never, never lose
heart.
There's another suitcase
right in the hall.
Thank you so much for
everything.
Mr. Clemens, thank you
for your generous hospitality.
You're welcome.
This is for you, Mrs. Quick.
Oh. How very charming.
Well, goodbye, you little rat.
Bye, SLC.
I'm afraid I can only
let you go on one condition.
What's that?
If you'd come and pay me a visit
in December
for at least a week.
Oh, Mother, can I? Please?
Oh, that's awfully generous of
you.
Thank you.
I won't feel nearly so bad
with a whole week to look
forward to.
Even if it is months away.
-[laughs]
-Excuse me, Mrs. Quick.
-Yes?
-I couldn't help overhearing
my father's plan
about a visit in December.
Oh, it's so dear the interest
he takes in Dorothy.
I just wanted to be sure you
knew.
Since my mother died,
my father doesn't celebrate
Christmas.
In fact, even the mention of it
would upset him terribly.
Would you please tell Dorothy?
it would be such a shame
if anything ruined their
friendship.
There you are.
-Bye.
-Goodbye, Mr. Clemens.
Thank you.
[Dorothy] Bye!
[horse carriage approaching]
[dog barks in distance]
-Mother?
-Mm-hmm.
I'm going to be 12 soon.
I've already missed six years
of going to school
with other children.
I don't want to miss any more.
Please, Mother?
I've been thinking about it all
week.
And I must admit,
you may be right this time.
What?
I found a young lady's academy
nearby that might be suitable.
-Mother, thank you!
-[laughs]
Now, let me read Mr. Twain's
letter.
Oh, looks like a letter of
reference.
"This is to certify
that I have been in the service
"of the enclosed Dorothy Quick
for five days
"and have found her honest,
willing, always good,
"sweet, thoughtful and winning.
"I recommend her to any worthy
free person
"who's tired of his freedom
"and wishes to exchange it
for something better.
Signed, S.L. Clemens."
[Dorothy] "Dear SLC, you were
right.
"I pressed the issue of school
with Mother,
"and she relented.
"I begin school Monday morning.
"I don't suppose I'll meet
anyone like Tom or Huck
"in an all-girls school,
"but any friend would be a joy
to me.
"We get two weeks Christmas
vacation,
so I will still be able
to come for my visit."
Look, Dorothy.
It's finished.
-Thank you, Mother.
-I know I shouldn't have,
but I thought these buttons
and this collar
would make you stand out a bit
more
against all those school
uniforms.
Mother?
I've been trying to decide
what to get SLC for Christmas.
Dorothy, Mr. Twain hasn't
celebrated Christmas at all
since his wife died.
But why?
Because she died at
Christmastime.
Any mention of it
is very upsetting to him.
Jean asked me to tell you
not to talk about it
or to bring any gifts.
I can't believe it.
How can anyone not celebrate
Christmas?
Doesn't sound like SLC at all.
Well, famous people are often
eccentric.
If you want to befriend them,
you must honor their
eccentricities.
We'll celebrate our own
Christmas
when you come home, all right?
Yes, Mother.
[coins rattle]
I'd like to see that
little silver pen knife, please.
Of course.
A gift for your father, perhaps?
No. A very special friend.
I see.
I'm afraid it's a bit expensive.
That's all right.
I've got plenty of money.
Of course, madam.
Oh, those attachments are for
smokers.
Cigar trimming, pipe cleaning.
Does the person smoke?
Only when he's awake.
I'll take it.
Can I have it engraved?
Of course.
What would you like on it?
[Dorothy] "Dear SLC,
"even though it has only been a
month
"since I left number 21 Fifth
Avenue,
"I miss you already.
[Twain] "To Miss Dorothy Quick.
"Only a month since I saw you?
"Why, you little humbug.
"It's been ten times that long.
"Even Minnie,
"who never gets anything right,
"admits it's been more than two
months.
What is the matter
with your veracity mill?"
[Twain, sighing] You know,
Albert...
all my life, I've never
been able to reproduce
another person's face in my
mind.
Not clearly.
I never thought it was anything
more
than just some curious mental
infirmity.
Until my wife Livvy died.
Then I realized it was a
calamity.
Oh, well.
Sometimes I think if I could
just see
a dog I knew in the old days...
I'd put my arms around his neck
and tell him everything.
It would ease my heart.
Hey, you know...
I feel dizzy.
I think I'd better sit back
down again.
Here. Here.
[mutters]
-Let me get you...
-Oh.
Let me get you a glass of water.
[breathing heavily]
Oh. Yeah. Thank you for that.
[coughs]
Oh, yeah.
It's all right, I feel better
now.
Oh.
You know, I...
I think...
I seem to be losing my memory.
I can't remember which ball is
mine
or what game we're playing.
And I...
I got this blasted pain in my
chest.
Here. Sit. Never mind about
that.
We'll just-- We'll play later.
Um... just get some rest now.
I'll tell Minnie to bring us
tea.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Tell Livvy...
I want to see her.
What is it? Old age?
Angina pectoris.
What's that?
It's a tightening of the muscles
around the heart.
We're not exactly sure what
causes it.
[Twain] Oh. Does it k*ll a man?
Sometimes.
Well, it is the good kind of
thing
that carries him off in an
instant,
or the other kind that keeps
him lingering and suffering
for another 20 years?
Father, don't talk like that.
I can't give you a schedule,
Sam,
but I can tell you that your
blood pressure is too high.
-And the smoking will--
-Never!
Yes, well, try to avoid
strain and nervous stimulation.
I'll be back in the morning.
I'll try to keep him in line.
I'll show you out, Doctor.
You ought to try and get some
sleep.
[Twain] No. I can't sleep
nights.
Broad daylight's completely
hopeless.
I was hoping Quintard was going
to tell me
I'd drop dead any minute.
We can't have that.
You promised to go out
with Halley's Comet.
I was just checking to see
if you were listening, Albert.
Ah, yeah.
[knock on door]
Merry Christmas, Jean.
Dorothy.
Hello, Mrs. Quick. How was the
drive?
Absolutely divine, Jean.
Please... let me take your
things.
Thank you so much.
Hello, you little rat!
Get in here and get warm by the
fire.
Are you absolutely sure Dorothy
understands about Christmas?
Oh, yes.
I'm so grateful to you for
telling me.
I explained it all to her,
and she accepted it beautifully.
Come on in, ladies. Have your
tea.
[Mrs. Quick] Oh, how lovely.
Thank you.
Oh, Father, I should have
poured.
No, no. There you are. There
you are.
Mother, where's my suitcase?
Mm, it's already been taken
upstairs.
I'll be right back.
Hi, Minnie. Merry Christmas.
[Mrs. Quick] It's not very far
from Brooklyn Heights, actually.
Merry Christmas.
Aren't you going to open
your Christmas present?
Is this for me?
I've had it for ages
and I couldn't wait any longer.
I know it isn't really Christmas
for a few more days,
but you can open it now if you
want to.
It's all right with me.
Certainly I'll open it now.
[indistinct] ...proper for me
to open it
whenever you'd like me to.
In fact...
if I didn't open it now,
my curiosity would probably
k*ll me.
[all laugh]
It's a pocket knife.
Why, it certainly is.
And a real beauty.
This blade's for snipping
the ends off your cigars.
This blade's for cleaning your
pipe out
and opening letters.
[laughing] Oh, it's an absolute
marvel!
And, oh! Look.
"SLC." Engraved on the handle.
Oh, thank you, dearheart.
I shall treasure it always.
[sighs]
Jean...
where's Dorothy's...
Dorothy's Christmas present?
Oh! That's all right. I
remember.
I'll be right back.
I was so relieved.
Merry Christmas, dearheart.
Thank you.
Oh, thank you.
[chuckles]
I shall treasure it always.
[knock on door]
Come in.
Time to turn out the light
and go to sleep.
[Dorothy] All right.
Dorothy...
Dorothy, I...
I know how much my father means
to you.
But he's been quite ill.
He had a heart attack last
month.
What?
Why didn't anyone tell me?
Oh, we didn't want to worry you,
and we managed to get through it
that time.
But we must all be more careful.
There must be something we can
do to help him get better.
Dorothy...
I've tried my whole life
to make my father happy,
but I've never been as
successful
as you were this afternoon.
Now go to sleep.
[door closes]
Do you need anything?
No.
Well, I'll turn in. Good night.
Jean... [chuckles]
what kind of a dreary old house
is this
for a child to spend
the Christmas season in?
Why don't we put up some...
well, you know, decorations.
Are you certain you want to do
that?
Well, I'm thinking.
We've been robbing ourselves
of some of the joy in life.
Go on, fix the place up, Jean.
You know the kind of thing it
needs.
All right, I'll see
what I can find in the morning.
She must be a very special
child.
[Twain] Jean...
you are all special children.
I'm only now beginning to
understand
how much I cheated you and
myself
by not paying more attention to
all of you
when you were young.
It wasn't easy being the child
of the most famous man in the
world.
But I never realized until now
how difficult it must have been
to be the man himself.
Good night, Papa.
[girl] "A thing of beauty
is a joy forever..."
[Twain] "Dearest heart,
"when you went away,
"you took the sun and the moon
with you,
"and left silence and solitude
behind.
"I'm saving all my cigar bands
for you, notwithstanding.
"We're finally in the big house
in the country.
"It is splendid.
"You must come for at least
a month this summer.
"We will have adventures
that will be the envy
"of Tom and Huck.
Love, your SLC."
-[Dorothy] Hello, SLC.
-[Twain] Hey, Dorothy!
-I've been waiting...
-[Dorothy] Hello.
[Twain, laughing] Oh!
[Twain continues to laugh]
Oh...
Hello! Hello! Welcome!
Welcome! All right, welcome!
Oh, come along, dearheart!
I nearly exploded
trying to keep this secret
for the past two weeks.
Twice I had to tear up letters
I'd written
because I'd given the surprise
away,
and I wanted to see your face
when you found out.
Your house is magnificent.
Aren't you going to give me a
tour?
Later, later.
Come on, first the surprise.
[both laughing]
All right, shut your eyes now.
All right.
Sit right down there.
Here you are.
[chuckles]
All right. Open your eyes.
-[meowing]
-Kittens!
Yeah. Tammany had 'em down in
the cellar.
She's a jealous and secretive
mother.
Yeah.
Took Jean two whole days to
find her.
They're adorable!
Yes, well, generally surprises
fall flat.
But I declare this one
to be a huge success.
-Dog!
-[laughs]
[Jean] Okay. She's--
She's sweeping. She's sweeping
something.
It's the-- Sweeping the porch.
Sweeping the...
the welcome mat.
Welcome mat.
Welcome.
No, mat! Mat.
[Twain laughs]
[hiccups]
♪ Show me the way to go home ♪
[all laugh]
♪ I'm tired and I want to go to
bed ♪
Father, you're a ham.
[Twain] Quiet, quiet!
You're interrupting the
creative process.
[hiccups]
Dog. Man. Dog. Man. I don't
know.
So, what's the drunk supposed
to mean?
[hiccups]
[Albert] Hiccup.
-Hick? Hick.
-[gasps] "Dog. Man. Hick."
"Dogmatic." Ah!
-[all clap]
-Well done, well done.
[Jean sighs]
Oh, well, I think that's enough
for this evening.
Oh, no. Now it's your turn.
Oh, oh, no.
I couldn't possibly.
You have to. It's only fair.
Besides, you couldn't possibly
look any sillier than we did.
Oh, Father, would you please
explain to Dorothy
-that I don't do--
-No, no, no.
You're my daughter.
Dispense with dignity.
-[Albert] Come on, Jean.
-[both chuckle]
[Twain] Yes.
[Jean clears throat]
[humming exotic melody]
[Twain laughs]
And she called me a ham.
[Dorothy] Are these your woods
too?
[Twain] Yup.
-[Dorothy] Are they fairy woods?
-[Twain] Oh, goodness, no.
Obviously you are city-bred.
Anyone can tell at a glance
that these are elephant woods.
Really? Are there elephants in
them?
No, sadly not anymore.
Legend has it that there once
were,
but they caught ambition
and all ran off and joined
circuses.
It's so beautiful here.
You must be very happy.
Yeah, yeah. Happiness is a
strange thing.
Grief can take care of itself.
But to get the full value out
of joy,
you must have somebody to share
it with.
[fly buzzing]
Oh, I hope you didn't have your
heart set on fish for dinner.
[chuckles]
Ah, the heck with it.
[coughs]
The Authors' League is now in
session.
Miss Quick, the membership
is anxious to know
the subject of your next
published work.
Well, I'm considering a book
about the w*r Between the
States.
Oh, no, dearheart.
Write about something you know
from your own experience.
[Dorothy] Maybe I'll write
a book about you someday.
[Twain] Oh, well, I'd like to
be around
to hear what you'd have to say,
yeah.
But you'll have to read it out
loud in a clear, strong voice
so I can hear it
over the blamed harp music!
You know, if I'd been helping
the Almighty
when he created mankind,
I'd have had him begin at the
other end...
so human beings would start at
old age.
I mean, think of looking forward
to 18 instead of 80.
Yeah.
I know just how you feel.
I'm looking forward to 18
myself.
Oh, you are, are you?
Why, you dirty little rat.
[both laugh]
[Twain] "Dearest Dorothy,
"how dare you get sick?
"You must get yourself well at
once.
We can't have any
Christmas at all if you don't."
[coughs]
"I tried to get some elephants
"for your Christmas present,
"but they charge $10,000 a
piece.
"I can get one elephant
"or 1,600 monkeys for the same
money,
"if you prefer.
"William and I went
into the woods the other day
"and found the perfect tree.
"Wait till you see it, you
little rat.
Love, SLC."
It's not going to be much
of a Christmas feast for you
with just me.
[Jean] I have a surprise.
I've invited a dozen children
from the village
to come Christmas caroling
tomorrow afternoon.
I made a tea party for them
with hot cider.
I made cookies, cakes.
That's wonderful.
I wish Dorothy could be here
to enjoy that.
Oh, no, Papa, her mother said
she'll be fine
as soon as the weather warms up
a bit.
I know.
I know.
Here.
I think you ought to open this
now.
-What is it?
-Well, it's from Dorothy,
with specific instructions
that you are to open it
whenever you needed a Christmas
present.
Hm!
-[chuckles]
-Go on. Open it.
All right.
-[jingling]
-Oh, listen.
[laughs]
[jingling]
[laughs]
Oh, gosh.
Now let's see what she has to
say.
"Dear SLC...
"I would rather have the books
you sent me
"than all the elephants
and monkeys in the world,
"but I managed to find these of
the miniature variety for you.
"I'm feeling much better.
Love, your little rat, Dorothy."
[laughs]
You know, when it comes
my time to leave this earth,
I'd be perfectly willing
to get on that train,
except for one thing.
What's that?
[sighs]
I'd just hate something awful
to leave you alone in this big
house.
[Jean] So would I.
I'm sorry I haven't given you
more of a family.
Now, Jean--
I know how badly you wanted
grandchildren,
and how much I disappointed you
in other ways.
-No.
-It's... It's all right.
I've always known I wasn't your
favorite.
I was always poor little Jean.
Not to me.
You have the best,
kindest heart of all of us.
You know what I was thinking,
sitting across from you
at the dinner table tonight?
What?
I was thinking how exactly
like your mother you were,
and how proud she'd be
of the woman you've become.
Thank you, Papa.
I...
I don't want you to catch my
cold.
Sleep well, dear.
You too. Good night.
Good night, Papa.
[knock on door]
[coughs]
[door opens]
[Minnie] Mr. Clemens, sir.
Huh? Huh?
What is it?
It's Miss Jean.
She's had a seizure.
She's...
She's dead.
That's impossible. She's well.
Todd's already called for the
doctor,
but it's beyond hope.
She's already gone.
Jean?
No.
"Dearest Papa,
"I wanted to give the world to
you...
"because you have given so much
to the...
"the world.
"Merry Christmas.
Love, Jean."
[horse hooves clopping]
[carolers] ♪ O'er the hills we
go ♪
♪ Laughing all the way ♪
♪ Bells on bobtails ring ♪
♪ Making spirits bright ♪
♪ What fun it is to ride and
sing ♪
♪ A sleighing song tonight ♪
♪ O, jingle bells, jingle bells ♪
♪ Jingle all the way ♪
♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh ♪
♪ Hey, jingle bells, jingle
bells ♪
♪ Jingle all the way ♪
♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh ♪
-Minnie...
-It's all right, Mr. Clemens.
I'll go out and tell them
what's happened.
No, you'll do no such thing.
Tell cook to put the cider on
the fire
and get out the cakes
that Jean planned to serve.
We're not going to disappoint
those children.
Yes, sir.
[carolers] ♪ Remember Christ
our savior ♪
♪ Was born on Christmas Day ♪
Well, come in.
We got nothing to offer but
vittles...
but cider's hot, cakes are
fresh.
You're welcome to all you can
hold.
Come on in. Come on in.
♪ Comfort and joy ♪
Merry Christmas.
♪ Oh, tidings of comfort and
joy ♪
[inaudible]
[meowing]
[Mrs. Quick] Dorothy?
What is it?
Come here.
What is it, Mother?
It's Mr. Clemens' daughter.
What? Is she all right?
She's dead, Dorothy.
I'm so sorry.
But she can't be.
She was fine.
We were playing charades.
Sometimes these things just
happen.
Is SLC all right?
Was that him on the phone?
No, that was a neighbor
who saw it in the newspaper.
I have to go to Stormfield
right away.
No, Dorothy. It's impossible
It's the middle of winter.
You'd just be in the way during
all the funeral arrangements.
It's best to leave well enough
alone.
Write him a note if you'd like.
But I have to see him.
I'm sure he'll have
many old friends around him now.
But he needs me.
[Albert] Is there anything you
need?
No, no.
I've finished writing out
the story of Jean's death.
I won't write anymore.
I feel like Huck did
at the end of the book
when he said, "There ain't
nothing more to write about,
and I'm rotten glad of it."
The doctor...
wants me to go to Bermuda for a
while
until I get my strength back.
No, no, I told you...
I'm not up to reading any
condolences yet.
I know. This is a letter from
Dorothy.
Oh.
You want me to put it away
with the others?
No, no. Give it to me.
I'll hold on.
Well...
I'm just down the hall in
the library doing a bit of work
if you need me.
[Dorothy] "My dearest SLC,
"I know how your heart must be
breaking,
"because I can feel mine
breaking for you.
"You must just remember that no
matter how much you miss her,
"Jean is happy with her mother
and Susy now.
"And I feel certain that
she will meet my father there,
"and that he will take good
care of her in your absence,
"just as you have taken
such good care of me in his.
"Please remember, you must
never,
never lose heart."
-[dog barking]
-[boy] Come on, Georgie.
Come on.
Good.
Go get it.
Come on, come on.
Bring me the stick.
Good boy.
[seagull squawking]
Come on, Georgie. There we go.
[dog barking]
[Twain] "Dearest Dorothy,
"sorry not to have written you
sooner.
"I'm afraid I've not been
feeling so well myself.
"I've been losing enough sleep
to supply a worn-out army.
"But if one is going to feel
rotten,
"Bermuda is a fine place to do
it in.
"Sometimes, I just sit and
think,
"and sometimes I just sit.
"You ought to get your mother
to bring you sometime.
"I'm afraid I might not
be home for Easter.
"The doctors seem to think
I won't be well enough.
Love, your SLC."
Mother, you have to take me to
Bermuda.
-What?
-I must go to Bermuda.
Right away. Tonight or tomorrow
morning.
-Please, Mother.
-Dorothy,
you're being unreasonable.
You're sick.
Mother, listen,
this is the most important thing
I have ever asked of anyone.
Even if it is unreasonable, or
unwise,
or just plain foolish,
I must go to Bermuda.
-Dorothy, this is nonsense.
-No, it isn't.
I know I'm just a child,
and I don't have
the right to vote, or speak,
or decide anything in the world
that's important.
But just this once, you must
listen to me.
Is it much further?
No. About another mile. Come on.
-Can't we go any faster?
-[laughs]
We could, but I don't think
old Mort here would do it.
[indistinct chattering]
[carriage driver] Come on.
Come on. Whoa, Mort.
Whoa, whoa.
I'm here!
I came as quickly as I could.
Dorothy.
Oh...
Dorothy.
Hello, Mrs. Quick.
Mr. Clemens, Dorothy had to see
you.
I came as quickly as I could.
Oh, how wonderful, dearheart.
How wonderful. You see?
I told you you could accomplish
anything
once you set your mind to it.
What should we do first?
I want you to show me
everything.
Yeah, well, you and your mama
get settled in the hotel there.
I got a bungalow a mile or so
down the road.
And I'll come back and...
and meet you...
in a day or two.
[Twain grunting]
In a day or two?
Yeah.
Then we'll see what adventures
we can muster.
All right, driver.
[waltz music playing]
[indistinct chatter]
Dorothy, you expected too much.
He's been very ill.
I know.
I thought when he saw me, he...
He didn't even look like the
same SLC.
He didn't call me little rat or
anything.
Maybe I really did stay away
too long.
[Twain] Excuse me, young lady,
but I don't seem to remember
your name.
It's Dorothy.
Oh, yes.
Dorothy McGillicuddy.
No. Dorothy Quick.
You don't mean my Dorothy.
Yes.
You see there?
When I was young,
I could remember anything,
whether it happened or not.
But now that I am older, Mrs.
Quick,
the more I remember only the
latter.
[laughs]
Are you feeling better?
Yes.
You're like a tonic to me, you
little rat.
I couldn't stay away from here,
knowing you were so close by.
Thank you, Mrs. Quick,
for bringing Dorothy and
yourself.
I'm glad we came.
Would you like some dinner?
No, no, no. No, thanks. I've
eaten.
See how grown up you're getting?
Now my suppertime is earlier
than yours.
[man] Ladies and gentlemen.
It is our privilege tonight
to have Mr. Mark Twain
as a guest in our dining room.
[applause]
We are now going to play
something in his honor.
[band plays upbeat dance music]
Look at those young people!
They don't know a lick about
dancing...
[laughs]
Why don't you show them
how they do it in Missouri?
Well, the spirit is willing
but the feet are 73.
Don't worry, just move your feet
and make the conversation good.
[chuckling] All right. Let's do
it, then.
-[music ends]
-[applause]
[Dorothy] Have you been writing?
No. I'm counting on you to keep
the Authors' League alive.
It's your job in life.
You must see that it's well
done.
I promise I'll do the very best
I can.
[laughs]
Oh, look.
There's the Bermudian.
Let's see if she salutes.
[boat horn blows]
That's for me.
Captain Frasier does not forget
me.
[laughs]
No one could ever forget you.
Did I ever tell you
the night that I was born,
lightning crashed in the clear
night sky.
And the heavens were rent
with a mighty fiery comet.
No. Is that another one of your
stories?
Certainly not, you little rat.
It's as true as you are.
Oh, look.
Look up there.
You see that fuzzy ball of light
with a little white tail behind
it?
Yes, I see it.
That is Halley's Comet.
I was born under it.
Is that why you've always been
so lucky?
Yes, you superstitious child.
But my real luck is walking
right beside me.
[Dorothy] We will have
good times, won't we?
[Twain] Of course we will.
Why, first thing tomorrow
morning,
I'm going to teach you a new
card game they named after me.
[horse snorts]
And I hope you play cards half
as well
as you sh**t billiards.
-Twice as well.
-[laughs]
You know...
I feel better than I have
in a long, long time.
Good night, you dear little rat.
Good night, SLC.
See you in the morning.
[Dorothy] I didn't know it then,
but that was to be the last
glimpse
I would ever have of him.
He had another heart attack
that night.
He did manage to get back to
his own home.
It is not often
that the whole world mourns for
one man.
At the time, I thought
that learning to write
was one of the most important
things he had taught me.
But now I realize he was really
teaching me how to live...
and how to move my feet
and keep the conversation good.
Good night, SLC.
See you in the morning.
[closing music playing]
Welcome to our World! Where we serve you cookies to ensure you get the best viewing experience on our site.
Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?
Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register
Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?
Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register
Mark Twain and Me (1991)
Moderators: Maskath3, sidolanters, GabrielAlejo2341
Biographies Movie Collection