Car's here!
It's 9:00 already!
We're going to miss our flight!
- Traveler's checks, passports.
- Do you have the tickets, darling?
- Tabitha, did you feed Roddy?
- Oops.
I know we've forgotten something.
I just know we've forgotten something.
Roddy, where are you?
We'll be back in a few days,
so here's enough food for you.
Here's a little more.
- Tabitha?
- Here's a little more.
I hope you're not overfeeding him.
Of course not, Mum.
- Come on, Tabitha!
- Bye, Roddy.
We don't want to miss our holiday.
I'm coming, I'm coming!
When the cat's away...
the mice will play!
The holiday starts now, everyone!
Music, maestro!
Hey, what are you all standing around for?
Got a big day planned!
Let's go, people! Chop-chop!
Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.
Nope. Nope. Nope.
Hmm.
Hmm-hmm, hmm-hmm, hmm-hmm.
Mmm.
Buckle up, everyone.
♪ And I'm dancing with myself ♪
♪ Oh, oh, dancing with myself
Oh, oh, dancing with myself ♪
♪ Well there's nothing to lose ♪
Fore!
Oops. Sorry.
♪ If I looked all over the world ♪
♪ And there's every type of girl ♪
Game point. Service!
We win! We win, team! We win!
♪ So let's sink another drink ♪
♪ 'Cause it'll give me time to think ♪
♪ If I had the chance
I'd ask the world to dance ♪
♪ And I'll be dancing with myself ♪
Perfect.
♪ Oh, oh, dancing with myself ♪
♪ Well, there's nothing to lose
And there's nothing to prove ♪
♪ Well, if I had a chance ♪
Having a good time, darling?
Oh, thank you.
See you tomorrow.
♪ Oh, oh, dancing with myself
Oh, oh, dancing with myself ♪
♪ Oh, oh, dancing with myself ♪
Good night!
Good night! Good night!
Yeah, well. Good night then, Roddy.
What was that?
Who's there?
Wake up. I think there's
someone in the house.
Sarge, wake up!
Approaching enemy lines.
- I'm armed and ready.
- At ease, soldier.
Give up your weapons of mass destruction.
- Shh! Shush!
- Come get me, enemy of freedom!
- Stop it. That's enough! Shush.
- I'm armed and ready.
Tell Mom I... love... her.
What?
Yee-ha!
Oh.
Whoa!
Ah!
They do not, repeat, not,
have food like this in the sewer.
A sewer rat! Who... What...
How did you get here?
I don't know. One minute I'm in the pub.
Next thing you know, whoosh!
It's a burst water main!
Off I go, sh**ting up the pipes.
And, well, here I am.
I have a plunger.
We can sh**t you right back.
- Do you like seafood?
- Can I call you a cab?
Bleahh! See? Food! Get it?
Have you got a TV?
- Well, yes, but...
- Say no more!
No, no, no, no. Leave that.
- Geronimo!
- No, no!
No, don't... touch anything.
Would you look at the size
of that monster?
Careful, mate.
Those aren't chocolate buttons.
Ooh!
It's the match of the century!
The Cup final!
The FIFA World Cup Final!
- England. Germany.
- Yes! Boo!
Live this Sunday. Be there.
This place is great!
I'm staying here forever!
What?
Game point. Service!
We win, we win! You lose! In your face!
Whoa!
- Huh?
- Right, my friend.
You don't belong here.
I'm afraid it's time for you to leave.
Ew!
I would not do that if I was you, pal.
Let me lay this out for you.
This place is mine now.
Sid says, "Jump," you say, "How high?"
Hey! Comprende?
Fetch us some Pop-Tarts
from the kitchen, Jeeves.
- Oh, and be snappy about it.
- Um...
Yes, sir. Right away, sir.
That's more like it.
But before breakfast is served, um...
perhaps sir would care
to take a whirl in the Jacuzzi.
A Jacuzzi?
Hmm.
You know what you are? You're a real gent.
Well, after a hard day of
navigating sewer pipes,
there's nothing better than relaxing
in a Jacuzzi whirlpool bath.
That looks so inviting.
Yes, yes. The water looks perfect!
Now you hop in, and I'll press this lever
to get the bubbles going.
Right. In we go!
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
I know we got off
on the wrong foot before, right?
But, you know, I really think
we're gonna get along, don't you?
Swimmingly.
Be seeing you, my friend.
You plonker!
You think I don't know
a toilet when I see one?
You were going to flush me down the loo.
No, no, no! It's a big Jacuzzi!
Deluxe model!
Then you won't mind
if I get the bubbles going, will ya?
No! Not the lever!
Have mercy! No, I can't swim!
Bon voyage, me old cream cr*cker!
- Hold your nose!
- Stop! You can't do this!
You were going to try and flush me.
Let's see how you like it.
Ow! Ow! Ooh!
Aah! Ow! Ooh!
Oh!
Ah!
Oh, whoa!
Have you seen my dad?
Ah!
Aah!
Oh.
Oh! No! No!
Aah!
Ah!
Oh, no, I can't swim!
I can't swim! I can't...
swim.
I'm... in... the sewer!
No!
Hello?
Help?
I'm gonna open my eyes
and I'm gonna be home.
This is all a bad dream.
Oh, I'm not home! I wanna go home!
Shush! Stop it. Stop it. Roddy!
Stop it, I want to go home!
Pull yourself together!
I can't. I'm frightened.
Stop it, stop it, stop it!
All right, Roddy, old man,
you can get yourself out
of here, and you will.
Never forget,
the blood of the courageous
St. James clan flows through your veins.
A way out! Yes!
Aah!
Hey! That-a took me three years to draw!
I'm terribly sorry. Three years?
I just-a finished it this morning!
Three years?
Good grief!
- What is this place?
- Hold the bus!
Feed the flies! Tuppence a bag!
It's a real city! Ah!
My smalls!
- Is it a bird?
- Is it a plane?
Is that guy wearing my underpants?
Make him move, honey.
Boy, you've got a face like a frying pan!
- Come on, honey!
- I don't think he speaks English.
Hey, he moved! Did you get it?
Got it.
- Good.
- Oh, sorry, sorry.
It's coming!
What? Where? Who?
The Great Flood!
Those floodgates won't hold
forever, you know!
We're doomed!
You think you can back
away from the truth!
'Ello, hello, hello. What's all this then?
Oh, thank heavens! A policeman!
This wacko has been chasing after me!
- Morning, Harold.
- Morning, Collin. How are you?
I can't complain.
Keep an eye on this one.
He's a bit of a loony.
- What? Me?
- We're doomed, I tell you!
- Are you kidding me?
- Right.
Let's give you a police escort home, then.
Oh, great! Um...
I live in Kensington.
Up there. The surface.
Up Top? Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no.
The humans don't like our sort.
Speak for yourself.
They like me very much up there.
Oh, I don't like your attitude.
I've got my eye on you, sunshine.
Ooh! Ooh, hot, hot, hot!
So... You're trying
to get Up Top, me hearty?
Yes.
There's one person 'round here
might be able to help you.
- Might.
- Really?
Shady customer.
The captain of the Jammy Dodger.
- If you can find it.
- I know where it is!
And remember,
the name of the boat's the Jammy Dodger.
Uh, thanks for bringing me this far.
You're welcome.
See ya!
Beware. Beware.
Hello?
Uh, permission to come aboard?
Ahoy there?
Uh...
Ow! Yah! Oh. Oh!
Sorry. I didn't mean to intrude,
Mr. Captain Skipper Thingy.
Hey! That's Miss Captain
Skipper Thingy to you.
- Oops.
- What are you doing on my boat?
Look, I've had a really bad day
and I just need your help.
See, I've been thrown out of my home,
I've been flushed down my toilet.
Thank you, too much information.
I've got my own problems, mate.
She's around here somewhere!
Stay down. And keep quiet.
Why? Who are we hiding from?
I said quiet! There's rats
after me who'd like to k*ll me.
Well, I'll contain my amazement.
All right, all right. Quiet as a mouse.
Ah!
Over there!
You idiot!
Sorry about that.
Uh, I'll be offthen.
Oh, sorry. Ah!
Sorry. Sorry.
Sorry!
We can't let her get away!
Shh. Shh.
Come on, Jammy, me old mate,
don't do this to me!
- Come on.
- Get her.
- Oh.
- Ah!
Whoa!
- Oh.
- Ah!
Let me go, you pink-eyed freak!
I'm upset now.
Ah!
Whatever's going on here,
I swear, I'm not involved.
I'm an innocent bystander!
Rita, Rita, Rita!
You thought you could give us the slip.
What you looking at?
Keep still! Come on, then!
Right!
Who have we got here?
I believe he said his name
was Millicent Bystander.
- Millicent!
- Actually, no...
Now, then, where's the ruby, Rita?
The boss wants it back.
I don't have your stupid ruby.
Okay, are we going to do it
the easy way...
or the hard way?
Oh, I think we should do it
the easy way, don't you, Spike?
Oh.
All right. Check the tin.
Good girl.
See, Whitey, this is how I do it.
Watch and learn, my son. Watch and...
Was it in there?
Right! Rip it up, lads!
Hey, you get your
filthy paws off my stuff!
It's in here somewhere.
I can feel it in me guts!
That'll be last night's curry, Spike.
I'm the same.
I got a bum like a Japanese flag.
Will you please tell them
I'm not involved in this?
- Nothing here.
- Fine.
All right, all right, listen up.
This gentleman, he's not from around here.
- Thank you.
- Just look how nicely he's dressed.
- Oh, thank you.
- And why?
Because he's an international jewel thief!
- Precisely. What? No, no!
- He stole the ruby from me!
- If you just put me down.
- No, she's lying!
All right, all right!
It's time to bring out...
the Persuader.
Your choice, mate.
You can talk now or you can talk later.
Ain't that right, Persuader?
Yeah, in a much higher voice!
The Persuader's alive, Spike!
You'll be singing like a tea kettle.
Good one, Persuader.
I don't even know her!
I don't know anything about anything!
Careful, miss. You'll injure yourself.
Oh! I know where it is!
- I know where it is!
- Come on, then. Spit it out!
Don't you dare!
Look at her bottom.
I mean, is it me, or is it oddly shaped?
You little snitch.
The booty's in the booty.
Hey!
Oh.
Thanks, mate! The boss is
gonna be so happy with us.
You're toast.
So you're from Up Top, eh?
I used to work in a laboratory Up Top.
Yeah. Big shampoo job.
I was dark grey when we started.
Yeah.
Still, it cleared up me dandruff.
The World Cup has become the
most popular sporting event in the world.
Are you there, boss? We're back.
...plays Germany in the final.
I've got it, boss.
The ruby. I found it.
Well, technically, Spike,
it was Millicent that found it.
Um, actually, the name's Roddy.
And, and, in exchange for my assistance,
I was hoping you might...
Uh, you might help me
out of the pickle I'm in.
Hello, Rita.
Hello, handsome.
And who is this?
Is your new boyfriend a waiter?
- Boyfriend?
- Waiter?
The prize returns to me.
Did you imagine that
I would let you steal it from me?
What? That jewel belongs
to my father, and you know it!
Your father?
A good-for-nothing scavenger,
just like his daughter!
Uh, excuse me.
Actually, I'm the one
that found your ruby.
So... you... um...
Perhaps you'd be generous enough
to repay the favor and help me get home.
Help me!
Dispose of them.
No, no, no, please!
I just want to get home to Kensington!
Kensington? The Royal Borough?
- Up Top?
- Uh, yes. Up Top.
Huzzah! A man of quality!
Finally, somebody gets it.
Come, let me show you
my private collection.
I know you'll find it diverting.
My shrine to beauty.
Works of high art crafted in tribute
to our beloved Royal Family.
Victoria's bust, wrought in porcelain.
- Classy!
- Quite lifelike, wouldn't you say?
It's as if she were here.
Mmm. Smooth to the touch.
Easy, tiger.
But come! Let us restore the heart
and highlight of my collection...
this ruby. Fallen from
the very brow of ancient kings.
A true crown jewel!
Well, what do you think?
He's a madman! Run away!
Pardon me. My fly's undone.
Well, your ruby
certainly is a biggie.
Indeed.
How did it ever find me,
here in the underbelly of the world?
In this dark, low place.
Yes, speaking of which,
I'd love to see more of your collection.
It's very amusing, but I do...
"Amusing"?
Didn't you say I'd find it amusing?
I said you'd find it diverting,
not amusing!
Ah, well, when I said "amusing"
I really meant it in the sense
of the ancient Greek muse,
the goddess of inspiration.
Muse.
Smashing.
Oh, heaven help me!
Ice him! Ice them both!
Let's see if there's
anything good in the fridge.
Former enemies, one and all.
A catalogue of thieves,
double-crossers, and do-gooders.
Prepare to meet your maker.
Your ice maker.
Makes me laugh
every time, that one.
Shut that door.
Liquid nitrogen!
That will freeze us instantly!
There's a paper clip in my back pocket.
See if you can get it.
In the pocket, in the pocket!
Blimey, it's cold.
That's why I wore me mittens.
Huh? Hit men don't wear mittens!
Take them off! You're embarrassing me.
Well, it's all right for you.
You've got little hands.
- Got it!
- They don't get as cold.
- I ain't got little hands!
- Yeah, you have.
You've got lady's hands.
Well, they might be small,
but they're lethal weapons, these.
You've got your mother's hands.
Right. Put your hands together.
You could have wiped your feet.
- Stop squirming!
- Oh!
Goodbye, vermin.
Now, let me see the latest
addition to my cubist collection.
- What? Impossible!
- Oi! Kermit!
The prize returns to me!
You big, fat, slimy airbag!
After them!
Why are you stopping?
Don't we have a plan?
"We"? Who's "we"?
Wait, wait, wait.
You can't just leave me here!
Faster, you idiots! They're escaping!
Oh! Oh...
No! Not the master cable!
- We have a plan?
- Put that back!
Wait, wait!
That will never hold both of us.
You're right. Toodle-oo.
No, no, wait!
F-f-f-freeze!
Ah!
Oh, no!
No, no, no, no, don't break!
There are things I want to do,
sights I want to see!
- That wasn't on the list.
- Aah! Hey!
Do something!
Huh? Whoa. Ow!
Keep your legs straight
when you hit the water!
- I kept me legs straight, Spike.
- Ow.
Ow.
Oh, good grief, that's high.
Quite high. Rather high.
So very, very high.
Hmm.
Hmm. Yeah.
Cool.
See ya!
Oh... If she can do it...
Here goes.
Ah. Ah! No!
Ah!
Oh!
Ahh!
And gently down.
Oh!
- My ball, too.
- It's my ball, too!
- It's my ball, too!
- Rita? Rita!
Oh, where is she? Rita!
- Ah!
- Target's at twelve o'clock!
Oh, come on!
Careful, Whitey. That's a banana skin.
- Rita!
- Whew. Over there!
Ah! Whoa! Oh.
You look pretty ridiculous now, Millicent.
Ahh!
Keep your legs straight!
Oh...
What are you, some kind of rat boomerang?
- Give me back my ruby!
- I haven't got your ruby!
Okay. Well, now I've got your ruby.
Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh.
Please be careful.
That ruby means a lot to me.
It's priceless!
Hold on.
It's a fake.
No, it's blooming not. It's real!
No, no, no, look, it's just glass.
- It's real!
- Fake.
- Real! Real!
- Fake. Fake.
- Real!
- Fake.
- Real, real.
- Fake, fake.
- Real!
- Look, look, look, look.
You can tell. Watch this.
There, you see?
I mean, you can't break a real ruby.
Right. I probably
shouldn't have done that.
Uh, but look on the bright side.
I've saved your neck.
I mean, once The Toad knows it's
worthless, he'll stop chasing you for it.
Roddy St. James saves the day.
Oh!
Good grief!
You try to do somebody
a favor, and they... Ow!
A favor? That ruby was from
Queen Elizabeth's crown!
It fell down the drain
of Buckingham Palace!
Well, maybe the Queen wears fake jewelry.
Keep still!
Can we just talk about this?
Real or not, that ruby
was gonna change my life!
Han Chin Chinese takeout.
Yes, I'm being attacked by a madwoman.
She's got crayons!
- One chicken chow mein. With wonton?
- No, crayons!
No wonton! You want rice?
Fried or white?
- Um, fried. No, wait!
- You want wonton or what?
Uh, cancel that order.
- Rita?
- Just go away, please.
Um...
- I'm sorry.
- Sorry?
Me and my dad worked
these drains for years.
He broke every bone in his body
trying to get that ruby.
It was going to be
the answer to all our prayers.
And now, it turns out
it was a stupid fake.
Well...
Maybe I can make it up to you.
- Get stuffed.
- No, no, no, I mean it.
See, back at my place, we've got a jewelry
box crammed with rubies and diamonds.
Real ones. So...
All you have to do is get me home
to Kensington...
and I'll make you rich
beyond your wildest dreams.
How do I know this ain't
just a load of old rubbish?
Well, I suppose you'll
just have to trust me.
I must be out of my mind.
All right. You've got yourself a deal.
Go on. You too.
Your own hand.
Where are those idiots?
It's so hard to get
good help these days, my boys.
Yes, that's right.
Oh, come on out, my lovelies.
Cheer your old dad up.
Poor Daddy, surrounded by filthy rats
in this joyless, sunless void!
But don't worry, little men.
Daddy will get rid of them all! He will.
They'll all be deady-weady.
Mwah.
Did you find it?
- Huh?
- Ach! Did you find it?
Ah... well, we got most of it, boss.
Forget the ruby!
It's the master cable that I want.
The one that grubby creature Rita took.
Oh.
- Without it, my plan is ruined!
- Ow.
Oh, okay, chief. Yeah.
Forget the ruby. Ruby's gone.
Woo-hoo!
Yeah, see? You see? Moving on.
We are now your cable guys.
Focused. Cable-centric, boss.
You need to be back in time
for the World Cup Final.
Oh, great! Are we watching
the game together, boss?
Just get the cable!
Keep your legs straight!
Should we be stopping
with all those g*ons on our tail?
We aren't gonna get far
without a map, are we?
- Is that a house?
- Yes, and it's very dangerous.
So...
...why don't you wait here?
Waiting here. Excellent idea.
Watch out for the piranha.
Rita!
Here you go, Annie. For you, too, Shamus.
Mimi, get your finger
out of your nose. Fergus.
- Yes, Jojo, no biting.
- That is wild good!
Rita!
Rita's back!
- Oh, Rita!
- Mum! Oh, Mum.
Thank goodness you're safe.
Rita!
- Hello, Dad.
- Give us a hug, girl!
Whoa! Oh!
Oi, Mum, there's a peeping Tom outside!
Tom? Ohh, it's Tom Jones!
Mother, it's not Tom Jones.
That's just my passenger.
- Oh, he's very good-looking.
- He is not coming in.
Soup's on!
It's lovely. Thanks, Mum.
So how long have you been
Rita's boyfriend?
He is not my boyfriend.
So, are you gonna make
an honest woman of my daughter?
Dad!
Well, we were thinking of a spring
wedding, weren't we, cream puff?
Look, I just want
all of you to know he's...
Tom Jones!
So your name is "Roddy," is that right?
Yes, that's right. Roddy St. James.
What a beautiful name.
- Hi, Roddy.
- And who might you be, little chap?
- They call me Shocky.
- And why do they call you that?
Shocky!
Yes! Got it.
Rita, where are you taking
this handsome young man, then, eh?
Well... Actually, that's
why I need your maps, Dad.
Because he's from, uh...
...Up Top.
Kitchen. Now.
Oh, sing us a song, Tom!
I'm not saying it isn't risky.
Yeah, but it's impossible, Rita.
No one's ever got past
the rapids at Hyde Park.
- Once the current gets you...
- Dad, Dad! He's gonna pay us.
For the last time,
we don't need the money!
A new stove might be nice.
- ♪ Talkin' about the little lady ♪
- Go, Tom! Go!
- ♪ Whoa, whoa, she's a lady ♪
- Sing to my heart!
♪ Talkin' about that old lady ♪
You hop down, you.
Get off, come here.
♪ And the lady wears big undies ♪
- Oh, yes!
- Huge undies. Whoo!
Psst! Rita!
It's okay. It's me, Liam.
Quick, in the kitchen.
Look at those moves!
I love you, Tom!
This bloke isn't who he says he is.
His real name is Millicent Bystander.
He's an international jewel thief.
A mastermind, a super-criminal.
Looks like he crossed The Toad
and got away with it.
He's dangerous man, but I'm a thinker.
I've got a plan.
♪ Whoa, whoa ♪
More! More!
- That was brilliant!
- Oh, it was nothing.
- So you're from Up Top?
- Yes.
- I've met one of your lot before.
- Oh, really?
Used to be some old lady's pet.
That's nice.
Terribly lonely for him, though.
He had no one to talk to.
No one to cuddle with!
- No one to shocky.
- Well, that's no life, is it?
Oh, I'd better get these dishes started.
Oh, please, permit me.
Oh, you're such a gentleman!
Great! So I hand Roddy over
to The Toad and claim the reward.
Then we're all sitting pretty
for the rest of our lives.
- Is that the idea?
- The Toad'll pay a fortune for him.
He's a bad one anyway,
so that's all right, isn't it really?
Oh, you cheeky little monkey.
I won't have no son of mine
acting the rat.
We Malones never go back on our word.
- He's gonna steal your boat.
- He won't steal my boat.
- He's stealing your boat.
- He isn't stealing my...
- He stole your boat.
- What?
It's like Robin Hood in reverse.
Oi! I thought we had a deal!
So did I!
This is an emergency!
Get out of the way! Emergency!
Keep clear! I'm coming, Mr. Jones!
I'm coming! Oh, marry me, Mr. Jones!
Roddy!
Oh, that double-crossing
little schemer.
I don't need her.
I mean, anyone can get out and sail.
Look at me!
All right, Sid,
you're in for a big surprise.
Look out!
Sorry!
Sid's Tattoo and Hot Dog Parlor.
It's Roddy. Remember me?
- The butler?
- Roddy!
Listen, you!
If you're still there when I get back...
Back? Back?
And how you gonna do that then, Roddy?
What was that?
- Well, I've gotta go, Rodders.
- If I find one thing out of place...
Ah! Oh.
♪ Here's a little song I wrote ♪
♪ You might want to sing it
Note for note ♪
♪ Don't worry ♪
♪ Be happy ♪
♪ Don't worry, be happy now ♪
Where are they hiding?
Think. Think.
To find a rat,
you got to think like a rat.
Hey, guys. I've had a tip-off.
They're heading west to Kensington.
Bingo!
Scrabble!
Enough games. To the ratmobiles!
Okay, okay. We can fix it.
Yes, we can. Obviously, just...
Ah! Fairly major burn to the hand there.
Smell of burning flesh.
Maybe I should just...
Ow! Oh...
Oh, oh, ow! That really hurt.
Just start, you worthless
old pile of rubbish!
You useless, unreliable...
Untrustworthy, double-crossing,
two-faced, conniving little toe-rag!
Ha! Ha! Oh...
So I'm the double-crosser?
Oh, yes, that's rich!
I overheard everything.
Yes, you and your family
were gonna sell me to The Toad!
What?
You dipstick!
That was my stupid little brother's plan.
And no one listens to him.
Ah, must have missed that part.
- How'd you think I'd sell you out?
- Um...
When I make a deal, I make a deal.
- Your hair's on fire.
- What?
Ow! Ah! Oh...
Rita, look...
I'm sorry, all right? I was wrong.
And I think we should just,
just put it behind us.
Okay, I suppose I can put it behind me.
This is such an overreaction!
Rita, you can't just leave me here on a...
On a duck! Up the creek without a...
You're getting everything you deserve.
Sneaking around, eavesdropping
on other people's conversations.
I was not sneaking around.
Right.
I say, you can't really intend
to just strand me like this.
You're not that heartless.
Okay, maybe you are.
Look, if you're trying to teach me
a lesson, consider it taught!
I'm on a duck, begging!
♪ Ice cold Rita ♪
♪ Never did I meet a ♪
♪ Girl who's half so cruel
I offered her a jewel ♪
♪ But she left me stuck
Stranded on a duck ♪
♪ What a shoddy thing to do to Roddy ♪
♪ Me ♪
♪ That's Roddy St. James of Kensington ♪
♪ Poor, poor Roddy ♪
♪ Flushed down his own potty ♪
♪ Rita, can't you find it in your heart ♪
♪ To help him? ♪
♪ How mean will one rat be? ♪
♪ Ice cold Rita ♪
♪ Won't you be sweeter to me? ♪
Oh! Ah!
Am I forgiven?
No. I was just afraid
you'd sing another verse.
Rita, I wasn't eavesdropping,
I swear to you.
Oh, really?
Ah! Whoa!
What were you doing then, Roddy?
Well, I was actually, uh,
just watching you with your family...
and... thinking how lucky you were.
Lucky? Stuck with you?
- So our deal's still on?
- Sure it is.
Look, I really want to
help out more around here.
Just give me a job.
Anything, um, engineer, navigator.
I could drive for a bit if you like.
Pick on someone your own size!
- You heard the captain.
- Get lost!
There's no room
for passengers on this boat.
Let go, you sticky little...
I'm the captain,
and I say go left.
Would that be port
or starboard, Spike?
There they are!
Go get them, lads!
Whee!
- Rita!
- Hmm.
Wait for it, wait for it... Now!
Come and have a go
if you think you're fast enough!
- Whoo-hoo!
- Ahh!
Hold on, Roddy!
Get that cable, lads!
Whoa!
♪ You've got a great car ♪
♪ Yeah, what's wrong
With it today? ♪
- You may now kiss the bride.
- Huh?
Congratulations, by the way!
- Watch your starboard!
- Rita!
Rita! Can we go a little faster, please?
We don't have to!
Go, go, purple custard!
Ooh!
Oh!
Ah!
Whoa!
End of the line, Millicent.
Whoo! Oh, yeah! Haha!
- Rita, try and go right!
- What?
Just trust me!
I hope you know what you're doing!
Now head for the rope!
Okay.
Whoa!
Oh, no.
Well done, Roddy!
Hurray! We did it! We did it!
We didn't do it.
Whoa! Rita, can you get me
back on the boat?
Oh!
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Are you sure about this, Spike?
These things are supposed to be dangerous.
Danger is my middle name.
I thought it was Leslie.
Just thought I'd drop in.
Rita, do something quick! Anything!
Hang on tight!
Ah!
Whoa!
Uh-oh.
Any last requests?
Yes, yes.
Could you fly off the boat,
screaming like a girl?
What?
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Oh, dear.
- Whoo-hoo!
- Oh, yeah!
Yes!
♪ Sailing takes me away ♪
♪ To where I've always heard it could be ♪
Look... out!
You darn foreigners!
Do you think the boss
will be annoyed with us?
You incompetent cheese-eaters!
You let them escape?
It's obvious I should never have sent
rodents to do an amphibian's job.
Where is he? Why is he always late?
Ooh.
En garde! Droit! Parry! Thrust!
Le Frog?
Bonjour.
You're late, Le Frog.
Fashionably late,
my annoying English cousin.
I know no other way.
Now, listen. Rita and her new accomplice
have stolen something irreplaceable.
It's all right, boss!
We've got another one!
A master cable
of unique design and purpose.
I want it back.
Don't worry.
I'll get it back for you.
Once it is returned,
my plan will be complete.
To wash away, once and for all,
the curse, the scourge of...
rats.
Forgive me, my warty English cousin,
but this bizarre obsession with the rats,
it is not good for you.
You are becoming what
we French call le fruitcake.
Perhaps you forget that it was a rat
who cast me from paradise!
Oh, please. Not the scrapbook again!
My memoirs.
Volume one details the dire
and tragic story of my youth.
Oh, mon Dieu!
Of all the pets
in Buckingham Palace,
the young Prince Charles
fancied me the best.
We would frolic day after sunny day
in royal abandon,
sharing that sweet and ever magical bond
between boy and toad.
You're gonna make me throw up.
We were inseparable until...
it arrived.
That rat!
While the poor boy's head was turned,
I was cruelly plunged
into a whirlpool of despair.
I know, I know.
You were flushed away down the loo, right?
Blech! Oi.
Boo-hoo-hoo. It is so dark,
so cold, so terrible!
You find my pain funny?
I find everyone's pain funny but my own.
I'm French.
Just get the cable!
Henchfrogs!
We have a mission.
Let nothing stand in our way.
We leave immediately.
What about dinner?
We leave... in five hours.
♪ Love, love, love, love ♪
Mmm. This is quite tasty.
Thanks.
I don't think it's too bad,
considering I only had an apple,
six raisins, and a box of rice.
Rice?
♪ What's that urge from deep inside? ♪
♪ The need to hurl won't be denied ♪
♪ That isn't rice
That's maggots you're eating ♪
♪ Larva, larva, larva ♪
Whee!
That explains why it all ran
to one side when I put the salt in.
You know...
I think we did pretty well today.
I suppose maybe I misjudged you a bit.
I mean, you're not...
Do I hear an actual compliment coming?
- Never mind.
- No, no, no, say it.
I mean, you're not entirely the useless,
whiny, stuck-up,
pompous, big girl's blouse
I thought you were.
There. Was that so hard?
Well, we better get some rest
if we're gonna get you home tomorrow.
Catch.
Heh...
Tell me about yourself, Roddy.
Well, there's, uh, not much to tell.
You know everything about me,
warts and all.
I don't even know what you do.
I'm, uh...
I'm in a boy band.
- Wha...
- Yeah. Yeah, I'm the posh one.
I'm serious.
Tell me about your life Up Top.
Friends, family.
- Uh...
- You do have a family, don't you?
Oh, of course I do.
Uh, brothers, sisters, cousins.
Yeah, we're quite a clan.
Oh, you wouldn't believe the fun we have.
Hanging out at the movies,
playing golf, going skiing.
It's just, just so great!
No wonder you want to get home.
Yeah.
Well, I guess tomorrow
we'll both get what we want.
- Good night.
- Good night, Roddy.
Good night.
Good night.
- Good night.
- Good night.
- Good night.
- Good night, Roddy.
Don't let the bedbugs bite.
Aah!
Eee!
Aah!
Wakey-wakey!
We're getting close to Kensington.
Tie down anything loose.
It's gonna be a bumpy ride.
Aye, aye, Captain.
Ah, thank you.
- You're welcome.
- Ah!
- Bonjour!
- Bonjour!
- Bonjour!
- Bonjour!
- Bonjour!
- Bonjour!
Who invited you onboard?
Hop it. Hop it!
Ah...
The English little girly,
she's so aggressive.
Le Frog.
I like a woman with a little fire.
You're going to pay for that,
my little chocolate croissant!
But first, a word from our sponsor.
Marcel?
Aha...
Oh, I should have known.
Well done, Le Frog! I salute you, sir.
Now then, Rita, hand it over.
Hand what over?
This dance of deception must end.
Return what you have stolen from me.
Enough dancing!
I don't have it anymore.
It was a fake anyway.
What?
Oh, the ruby.
He's cuckoo, but family.
Oh, this is rich.
The ruby was a pretty thing.
Stop that.
But nothing when compared
to the master cable.
The master what?
The cab...
Turn.
The cable! The one you're
now wearing as a belt.
- Well, if that's all he wants...
- Hang on.
What do you want it for anyway?
Oh, you'll see,
come the World Cup Final this afternoon.
The World Cup Final?
Okay, okay, cousin, take a breath.
Leave it to me.
We'll get your cable, k*ll the rodents,
and then me and my team
can settle down to a decent breakfast.
Okay, men, to action!
We surrender!
No, not that one, you idiots!
The kung fu thing!
Ohh...
I've got a plan.
Go for it.
Fly at twelve o'clock!
- Huh?
- Oh, bother.
Fools! Grab them!
Le Frog! No! Get that cable!
Oh, mon Dieu!
You rats, this is not over yet!
Roddy! The rapids!
Oh, no!
En garde! Hee-hee.
Hey!
Rita? We're going over!
Well, do something!
No!
Whoa.
No, no, no, no!
Gotcha!
Au revoir, ma cherie!
Take your flippers off me!
I have triumphed!
You stupid English,
with your Yorkshire puddings
and your chips and fish,
you thought you could defeat Le Frog?
Un...
...deux...
trois!
Nibble for your life!
My belt, I think.
You rodents!
Goodbye, Jammy, me old mate.
Whoa!
Whee!
We're okay, we're okay,
we're okay, we're okay.
Try opening your eyes!
Hold up, hold up. We're over Kensington!
Yeah, only a terrifying 900-foot drop
between you and a nice comfortable bed.
- Where's your house then?
- Right, now. Let me see...
Uh, Inverness Gardens, Vicarage Gate,
Kensington High Street.
Try and go left.
That's it. Now go right. Yeah.
Oh, this is gonna be tricky.
Oh, yeah, and everything else
has been a piece of cake.
All right, here we go.
Uh, 45, 47, 49...
now!
Ow.
Well, I've had softer landings.
We did it. I'm home.
The crew of the Jammy Dodger survives!
Ha ha!
- Yep.
- Oh... Rita?
Oh, oh, of course.
I'm such an idiot. Oh, the Dodger.
Wasn't your fault, Rod.
Quite an adventure, though, wasn't it?
Oh, Rita, I am so sorry.
But I think I might be able
to cheer you up.
Ta-da! As promised, the Kensington jewels.
A genuine star-cut ruby.
It's just beautiful!
And the best part?
Unbreakable.
I don't know what to say.
You think it will be enough?
I mean, to take care of your family?
And maybe this could be
the Jammy Dodger Mark Il.
Well...
I suppose this is it.
Thank you... for the lift.
You're welcome.
- Roddy?
- Yes.
I don't suppose you'd have time
to give me a quick tour?
Of course.
I'd love to meet your family.
Ah...
Hello?
Hello, hello, hello? Anybody home?
Wouldn't you know it? Just when you
need 'em, all out, every one of them.
Wait. Wait, wait, wait.
- What is that?
- Oh, that.
Um... that's my...
That's my master bedroom.
- It's a cage.
- No! No, no, it's not, actually.
Then why the lock and bars?
Well, it's, that's my, um...
home security system.
So much to see,
so little time to see it in.
- Shall we?
- Roddy.
You're all alone up here, aren't you?
Goal!
- Who's that?
- Um...
That would be... my brother!
Wow, what a game! I can't believe it!
He shoots! He scores!
Back of the net! Group hug.
- Oh, hello.
- Rita, this is, uh... Rupert.
- What?
- Rupert, this is Rita.
She's been so looking forward
to meeting my brother.
Uh...
Obviously, there's not
a huge family resemblance.
I rather got the brains and...
Well, actually, I got the looks too,
but we're very close, aren't we, Rupert?
Well, how time flies
when you're having fun!
Still, on with the tour, shall we?
- Hello, Sid.
- Hello, Rita.
- How's your dad?
- Better, yeah. Thanks for asking.
Rupert?
What was that all about?
Come here, you poor little thing.
Look at his little face.
You ever seen anything so pathetic?
Brothers?
All Mr. Lonely has got
is a couple of dolls
and a little wheel
to run around in his cage.
Oh, this is too sweet!
What a loo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-ser!
Oh... It's okay, Roddy.
Okay?
Look at this place, Rita.
Look at my home. It's a palace!
I can do whatever I want
whenever I want to.
I mean, I'd say that's a little more
than okay, wouldn't you?
I mean, what do I need a family for?
What do I need friends for?
I'm sorry, but if you have
everything you need, then...
I really have to get going.
I have a serious infestation to deal with.
I'll say goodbye, then...
Roddy St. James...
of Kensington.
♪ Lonely ♪
♪ I'm Mr. Lonely ♪
♪ I have nobody ♪
♪ For my own ♪
Only ten minutes left till halftime.
What an amazing match this has been...
Come on, England! Oh, this is fantastic!
A rare attack here
by Germany, but it comes to very little.
Come here, bro!
Rupert's missing his Rodsy-Wodsy.
Here, have a cheese puff.
Have another.
Here you go.
No! Duh. You're supposed to eat them.
Move... over.
- What?
- Move over!
I'll take some of that.
Word of advice, mate.
Take it easy with the drink, seriously,
or you'll never make it till halftime.
What did you say?
Oh, the bathroom.
I'm waiting till halftime.
I don't want to miss any of the game.
Halftime. He's waiting till halftime!
Those floodgates
won't hold forever, you know!
No! Not the master cable!
What do you want it for anyway?
Oh, you'll see, come the World Cup Final
this afternoon.
Half... time.
Half... time.
Of course. That's The Toad's plan!
That's why he needs the cable!
When everyone goes to the toilet,
the whole city will be flushed away!
- Come with me.
- Wha... No!
But what about the game?
And what a game it is!
Oh, a nasty fall there for Ray Bowers,
the big center.
Can you see all right, Fergus?
Yes, thanks, Mum.
Where's your helmets?
Which one's the quarterback?
Pick up the ball! Pick up the ball!
Oh, these Brits don't know
the first thing about football.
Enjoy your last moments,
you egregious vermin.
I've got Rita, boss!
I've got Rita!
Get off me, you lab reject!
Ha! You missed.
Ow.
Ah, Rita.
It's so good of you to return the cable.
Bonjour.
Hey!
At last! It's mine!
Just take it.
Let there be light!
Please don't flush me, Roddy!
I can't survive down there!
I've gone soft!
Sid, I want you to flush me.
I'm going back.
- Back?
- Rita's in terrible danger.
Everyone's in terrible danger!
Now, you like it here, don't you?
Oh, yes, Roddy. I like it here very much.
And if I leave you,
will you be good to Tabitha,
the little girl that looks after me?
I'll be as good as gold to her, Roddy.
And I will be the best pet ever!
Then the place is all yours.
- Sweet!
- Right.
Let's get the bubbles going.
I've got a big job to do down there.
Right away, sir!
So long, Sid.
So long, Rodnick Saint Something
of Someplace or other.
Geronimo!
And, Io, a chosen one
shall come down from above,
and he shall be our savoir
from the Great Flood!
I'm terribly sorry.
Just two minutes left
till halftime! Incredible!
- It's a fantasy start for England.
- Rita!
England leads Germany
by three goals to one.
- What an amazing game...
- Rita!
...this is turning out to be!
The grand opening.
And the referee again
has to bring play to a halt.
Rita!
Fans for the fans!
Get your England fans here.
Pied Piper lures thousands to their death!
Read all about it.
Balloons!
Rita!
- Rita!
- Roddy!
I'm so sorry. I've been such a fool.
You were right about me, about everything.
I should've admitted that.
I was afraid you wouldn't like me anymore.
Do you think we can talk
about this after you've rescued me?
Of course. There's no time.
When that whistle blows
and everyone Up Top goes to the toilet,
it's gonna flush away the whole city.
I know. And my family are all down there.
We've got to warn everyone.
Stop them!
Oh, dear.
Whoa! Whitey!
I saw an opportunity and I seized it.
So you thought you could
make a fool of The Toad, eh?
You don't need us for that.
Oh, you think you're so clever, don't you?
Well, I'll be the one laughing
when every last revolting rat
is flushed away!
For I shall repopulate the city...
with these!
- Eww!
- Nasty.
- Is this the Glorious Amphibian Dawn, Dad?
- Anything for you, my little man.
- Can I have a pony?
- No.
- A puppy?
- We'll talk about it.
- Can we talk about it now?
- No.
- Can I have a puppy?
- Me too.
No, you can't all have puppies!
Please! Daddy's working!
We need to get downstairs
and pull out that cable.
How? It's impossible.
England is winning. Anything's possible.
Help!
Turn it off, Whitey!
- No!
- Huh?
- Come on!
- They're getting away!
Oh. Hi, boss.
Whitey! They're biting my bottom! Help!
I'm coming, Spike!
You fools! Grab them!
Top floor, lingerie, housewares,
and certain doom!
Do I have to do everything myself?
There goes the whistle for halftime!
We're gonna take a break,
but we'll be back in a few minutes.
You're too late to do anything!
You and your kind are finished!
Oh, yeah? Well, come
and get us then, you warty windbag.
Oh, no!
The gate. Back this way! Come on!
Rita!
If I'm going, you're both coming with me!
Just go, Roddy!
That's it.
Roddy!
Stop moving!
Come and get me,
you big, slimy airbag!
Roddy, look out!
- Yes!
- Ah!
Le Frog!
Oh.
Let's finish this.
Yeah, let me go!
Goodbye, rat!
Rita!
Hmm?
- Feeling a little tongue-tied?
- Impossible!
- Toodle-oo.
- No!
- Wave! Wave!
- England!
No, giant wave!
Please work. Please work. Please work!
High five!
Oh, yeah.
Look! It's Roddy and Rita!
Good on you, girl!
Hooray for Millicent Bystander!
Millicent!
Millicent! Millicent! Millicent!
You're a hero, Roddy.
Big deal.
You wretched vermin!
I'll make you pay for this!
Ah, give it a rest, cousin.
And get your kids a puppy.
Rita...
I was wondering, if you do build
a Jammy Dodger Mark Il, you, um...
you wouldn't happen to need
a first mate, would you?
♪ Left a good job in the city ♪
♪ Workin' for the man
Every night and day ♪
♪ Rollin' ♪
♪ Rollin' on the river ♪
♪ Rollin' on the river ♪
Okay.
Hello, Tom! Give us a squeeze!
All right, chaps.
♪ Big wheel keep on turnin' ♪
♪ Proud Mary keep on burnin' ♪
♪ Rollin', rollin' ♪
♪ Rollin' on the river ♪
♪ All right ♪
Oh, I love a happy ending.
Oh, you've gone soft! I like
unhappy endings, with lots of violence.
Are you... are you happy now, Spike?
Woo-hoo!
- Shall we?
- Go for it.
♪ Big wheel keep on turnin' ♪
♪ Turnin' ♪
♪ Proud Mary keep on burnin' ♪
♪ Burnin' ♪
♪ Rollin', rollin' ♪
♪ Rollin' on the river ♪
♪ Rollin', rollin' ♪
♪ Rollin' on the river ♪
- Where are we going?
- I have no idea.
But we're gonna get there really fast!
I'm coming, Mr. Jones!
I'm coming!
Ah, this is the life, eh?
Roddy, I'm home!
And I've brought you a new friend!
♪ What's new, pussycat?
Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
♪ What's new, pussycat?
Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
♪ Pussycat, pussycat, I've got flowers ♪
♪ And lots of hours to spend with you ♪
♪ So go and powder your cute
Little pussycat nose ♪
♪ Pussycat, pussycat, I love you ♪
♪ Yes, I do ♪
♪ You and your pussycat nose ♪
♪ What's new, pussycat?
Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
♪ What's new, pussycat?
Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
♪ Pussycat, pussycat
You're so thrilling ♪
♪ And I'm so willing to care for you ♪
♪ So go and make up your
Big little pussycat eyes ♪
♪ Pussycat, pussycat, I love you ♪
♪ Yes, I do ♪
♪ You and your pussycat eyes ♪
♪ What's new, pussycat?
Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
♪ What's new, pussycat?
Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
♪ Pussycat, pussycat, you're delicious ♪
♪ And if my wishes can all come true ♪
♪ I'll soon be kissing your
Sweet little pussycat lips ♪
♪ Pussycat, pussycat, I love you ♪
♪ Yes, I do ♪
- ♪ You and your pussycat lips ♪
- ♪ Whoa, whoa ♪
- ♪ You and your pussycat eyes ♪
- ♪ Whoa, whoa ♪
♪ You and your pussycat ♪
♪ Nose ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Uhm hmm hm hm ♪
♪ It's a wonderful night
You've gotta take it from me ♪
♪ It's a wonderful night ♪
♪ Come on and break it on down ♪
♪ It's a wonderful night
You've gotta shake it for me ♪
♪ It's a wonderful night ♪
♪ Come on and break it on down ♪
♪ It's a wonderful night
Everybody can see ♪
♪ It's a wonderful night ♪
♪ Come on and break it on down ♪
♪ It's a wonderful night
Go ahead and release ♪
♪ It's a wonderful night ♪
♪ Come on and break it on down ♪
♪ You know the music
Search engine need a tune-up ♪
♪ Soon as they out the gate
They all a wanna hear da corner, uh-huh ♪
♪ Feel the connectedness energy
Disprojected the weighted ♪
♪ The whole collective consciousness ♪
♪ Arise like helium up
Groovin' out of the question ♪
♪ Won't disrespect him, but ♪
♪ Our styles Posh
Like Dave Beckham c'mon ♪
♪ It's a wonderful night
You've gotta take it from me ♪
♪ It's a wonderful night ♪
♪ Come on and break it on down ♪
♪ It's a wonderful night
You've gotta shake it for me ♪
♪ It's a wonderful night ♪
♪ Come on and break it on down ♪
♪ That the spot will get hot ♪
♪ That it's ready to pop ♪
♪ Don't even look at the clock ♪
♪ All of your problems forgotten ♪
♪ It's time to rock till you drop ♪
♪ Feel the force and just flock ♪
♪ To the epicenter
Of the party's bass tremors, c'mon ♪
♪ It's a wonderful night
You've gotta take it from me ♪
♪ It's a wonderful night ♪
♪ Come on and break it on down ♪
♪ It's a wonderful night
You've gotta shake it for me ♪
♪ It's a wonderful night ♪
♪ Come on and break it on down ♪
♪ It's a wonderful night ♪
♪ Come on and break it on down ♪
Woo-hoo!
Whee!
[gentle music playing
Woo-hoo!
♪ Land of hope and glory ♪
♪ Mother of the free ♪
♪ How shall we extol thee ♪
♪ Who are born of thee? ♪
♪ How shall we extol thee ♪
♪ Who are born ♪
♪ Of thee? ♪
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Flushed Away (2006)
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