01x05 - F**k Normal

[bunniefuu]

I'm like an outcast.

I'm almost 34. Alone.

Maybe I should have been like my friends.

They all married the first guy
that went down on them.

And here I am contemplating
boning the Amazon guy.

Okay, so I hear you saying

that you're not sure
how you feel about societal norms.

It's just like,
I thought I was an average girl

who did regular girl things

like drink too much at brunch
and host all the parties,

bachelorettes, baby showers,
bridal showers.

And is that what regular girls do?

Because I've never hosted any of those.

- Really?
- Yeah. Or gone to brunch.

Huh.

Who's normal anyways?

Maybe it's normal
to f*ck the DoorDash guy.

Do you think that's normal?

No.

But maybe I just get a lot of deliveries.

I follow you on Instagram.

You do?

Oh, wow. I--

I-I never think anybody's actually--

Yeah, sometimes I feel like
I get more from your Insta

than whatever we're doing in here.

Wo-- Wow. So we're out of time.

Oh, Paige.
- Yes?

Hey.
Hey, Amanda.

Hey. So, um, about the E-vite
for my gender reveal party--

Oh, yeah. The dancing baby
with the question mark over its genitals,

that was so original.

Thank you. I thought so, too.

Um, but my friend
who was supposed to host broke her leg.

Oh.

And my apartment's
not big enough to host

so I'm probably gonna have to cancel.

Oh, no.

Yeah.
- That sucks.

It really does.

'Cause I've been looking forward to this
since I, like, peed on a stick.

I mean, honestly,
it's like, half the reason

I wanted a kid in the first place.

Well, I-I could host.

- Really?
- Yes.

Oh, my God.

I mean, are you sure?
Yeah.

'Cause it's kind of a lot, you know,
like with the cannon and all.

Oh, oh. Okay, yeah, yeah.

I just hosted a dinner party,
and it went so--

I mean, your party is gonna be
so much better, I promise.

- God! Paige, you are such a lifesaver!
- Yeah. Whoo.

Thank you.

Yeah. Yes. Alright.

I will see you, um,
next Saturday for the sex party.

Oh.

Uh, it's just some gender reveal humor.

I love it.
That was really good.

Okay. I am loved. Okay. Um--

I'm not having a sex party.

Wow!
Mm-hmm.

You pimped your ride.

Well, you ain't seen nothin' yet, girl.

Okay. Still feels more like
a hustle than a real job.

You've been brainwashed,
that's all, Paige.

Is that it or you just
don't wanna get a regular job

like a normal person?

Yeah, "normal."

Just another form of prison.

No. No. Normal is another form of free.

Like, you know,
if you follow social norms,

maybe you don't wind up behind bars.

Paige Renee,

you ever wonder if maybe
you don't got it all figured out?

No. Never.

You've got some messed up ideas.

Me? Oh, you know what?
Oh, yeah.

I am a homeowner now,
so clearly I'm doing something right.

Yeah, sl*ve to a mortgage
is still a sl*ve.

Oh, right, as opposed to
all the rent you're paying.

Oh! You're not.

Yeah.
Smooches.

Yeah.

So I had this conversation today

that got me thinking about what's normal.

Right? And there's this idea out there

that no one is normal,

but I think that's wrong.

Now, before you "at" me--

I am not talking about
making it mean white, male, cis, het.

No. My definition of normal
is when human beings,

social creatures, by the way,

seek the approval
of their chosen community,

which is to say,

behave in a way that members
of the same community

don't kick them out of the group.
Is that so wrong?

No, I don't think so!

As someone who grew up with a dad

who never "bought in" to society,

it cost me dearly.

So I'm sorry, you know,
but I think I'm just kind of

hashtag TeamNormal and--

Oh.

I'll take all the normal I can get.

Okay? Bye. Bye.

This was a yes.

A bike's has the nostalgia
of an ice cream parlor

and the freedom of a food truck.

It's green.

It's the future, baby.

Are you taking Venmo?

No, no. This is cash only, baby.

Okay, boomer.

So you only want old people
eating your ice cream?

'Cause that is gonna be
a lot of rum raisin.

What's wrong with rum raisin?

Exactly. This was a yes.

- You're gonna need social media.
- Okay.

So since I've always been one to nurture

the young, the gifted, and the Black,

welcome to the team.

Gentlemen, I want-- Oh, rum raisin.

- Told you.
- No. What is this?

Are you eating all of this?

Yeah. Gotta figure out what to order.

It's my ice cream business, baby.

It's about to pop off.

Like, pop off.

Yeah, like your earthworms in '87?

That was different, Paige.

Mom, you're blowing up.

I know. It's my NextDoor app.

I went on to ask for recs
for a caterer for Saturday,

and I stumbled upon a turf w*r
over other people's leaves.

Also, there is a thread about burglaries.

We should be locking up.

- What's NextDoor?
- It's an app. It's another app.

This app is for neighbors
to tell other neighbors

about neighborly things.

Oh, you mean snitch, huh?

Yes.

So what makes the Pink Panther pink?

Food coloring, baby. Food coloring.

Ah.

Oh, another surprise visit.

No, I want you both to meet Mal.

Don't we already know Mal?

I know I do.

No, but you don't know him
as my boyfriend.

Ah.

So meet my boyfriend Mal.

Hi.

- We're in real-life official!
- IRL!

Well, hold up, hold up. Boyfriend?

Does this mean we're going
to Chuck E. Cheese?

No. You're not nine.

This is because
normally I totally separate

my relationships from my actual life,

and I'm trying to be more integrated.

Welcome to the family.

Whoa. Okay, slow your roll.

We just wanna ensure that, you know,

this, uh, us,
won't impact my work with you.

Yes, which is why

I wanted to open the floor

so that everyone could share
their thoughts or feelings that they have

about my relationship with Mal.

So we're doing therapy now.

When are we not?

Okay, I have a feeling,

I have a feeling I wanna share.

Paige, you have never dated a Black man.

I'm proud of you.

Okay, that's really weird to say
in this moment,

- but thank you.
- Well--

- Thank you.
- Is-is-is that true?

- I'm-I'm flattered.
- Okay.

Uh, does anybody else
have any thoughts or feelings?

I'm feeling kinda hungry,

if you feel like making me a sandwich.

That's not a feeling.
The feeling circle is closed.

Eat your ice cream.

Mal, you want some ice cream, man?

- I do actually.
- That one has food coloring.

You don't say that, man.

- It makes it pink.
- Don't say--

Stop talking right now, man.

Ice cream, ice cream.

Ice cream. Get your ice cream right here.

Oh, I see you smiling.
You want some ice cream?

Alright, come here.

Oh, you look like you want to buy--

I can see it on your face.

You look like you want some,
and you do, too.

Oh.
What can I get for you, young lady?

You-you would like a swirl.

- Thank you.
- God bless you. Thank you.

Anybody else? Who's next?

Alright. What can I get for you, youngin?
You want this one?

Okay, okay. You getting this, Finn?

Yes. What can I get you, ma'am?

Right here.

Thank you.
Ma'am. Yes.

Oh, my God. Thank you so much.

A dollar twenty-five.
It's pretty just like you.

Oh.
Thank you.

We're at Cedar Lake Park
in sunny Minneapolis, Minnesota.

Yeah.

Ice cream.

Okay.

Okay, $1.25.

Well, young lady. Good.

Okay. Yeah. And for you also.

Yeah.

Alright, I got something for you.

Hold that.

Give me some.

We gonna change our strategy here.

Why though? Our engagement's solid.

No, it's not that. It's the ladies, man.

If anybody asks you...

you're my associate, you understand?

- Associate?
- Yeah.

No! Oh, my God!
- Whoa.

Help, someone help, someone call 9-1-1.

- Oh! Oh!
- Can I help you, ma'am?

Oh, God, I-I locked in my dog Dollie.

I locked her inside by accident.

Oh, God. It's hot.
Oh.

Oh, okay, okay.

- She's gonna die in there!
- Okay, okay. Okay, okay.

Calm down. Calm down.
I gotcha. I gotcha, ma'am. I gotcha.

God! Oh, God. It's okay.

It's okay. It's okay.

Okay. It's okay.

Okay, back up, ma'am, back up!

Back up, back up.

Okay, here we go.

- One, two, three.
- Holy--

Oh!

Oh, my God, is she okay?

Come on now. Okay.

- Whoo! There she is.
- Ohh!

My baby!
I got her.

That was dope!
Thank you.

You got it?
That was dope!

- There you go.
- Oh.

Oh! Oh, thank you. Oh, my gosh.

You are a hero.

Um, my name is Edwin and-and you are?

Luisa.
Luisa.

Luisa, has anybody
ever told you you look

just like Jennifer Lopez?

- Me?
- Yeah.

No!

Absolutely. It is uncanny.

Uh, Luisa, would you do me the honor

of joining me for dinner?

Oh! Oh, well, I--

I-I don't go to dinner with strangers.

Well, I understand.
But...

I can do lunch.

I'd like that.

Hi. Sorry. I'm his social media manager.

You think I could get a photo?

Yeah.
That'd be great.

It'll look really cool.

Is that okay?
Sweet.

Cool.

Beautiful dog.

Sorry about your car.

Mm!

Flasher?

That sounds kinda hot.

Thank God for you.

Uh, think Jesus Christ,

because having him as your personal savior

means knowing people who live

to customize.

Oh, God!

That's f*cking perfect.

So stupid.

Oh, p*nis whistle.

- In case it's a boy.
- Ugh.

Yeah, they were on clearance
at the party store.

Oh. Also, I brought
some pre-game libations.

Yes! Drinks.

Hi, sweetheart.
Finners!

Hi, Aunt Esti.

Whoo!

Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no. No.
You're talking to me now.

So, uh, what do you think
of your mom's new boyfriend, buddy?

He's like, fine.
Mm-hmm.

You mean "fine," the acronym?

f*cked up. Insecure. Neurotic.
And Emotional?

Esti, I can hear you.

What? Kids need to know
the truth about life.

It's not like I told him
about my nipple ring... again.

I think my game's starting. Imma bounce.

And our pre-game
has just started, so, bye!

What the--

Uh, your roof is leaking.

Yeah, yeah, I know, I know, I know.
I'm gonna fix it after the party.

Mal said he would
come over with his tools.

Yeah, he is.

No, that's what I meant.

I'm so happy you're over Bill.

Well, well, what Bill?
Who Bill? I don't know. Done.

Completely done.

You know, his ex-wife

still has that hobby job
at the Uptown Crate and Barrel?

Stop talking. Please, no.

Uh, okay. I saw her there last weekend.

Please stop talking.

You're making me wanna stalk her again.

Yeah, no, I so get that.

Hey, hey. Is that the voice
of my fan club president?

Oh, yeah. What it do?

Sister girl.

Hey, look here, look here, look here.

- This is for you.
- No, no, no, no, no.

I'm not taking your ice cream money.

Okay, you should, 'cause I'm k*lling it
with the frozen confection game.

You made all this at Cedar Lake?

And I saved a life

and... got a date.

Okay. Go on, hero player.
Whose life did you save?

A dog.

Real talk? It's better
than saving a person.

Yeah, because people like dogs.

And Imma be on the news.

The news?
The news.

Wow. So, sir,
I just wanted to double check

that you will not be here tomorrow?

Relax, relax, relax, Paige.

I'm not gonna be here
when the white people get here

to celebrate the private parts
of the baby they having.

I'm not stressed. I was just asking.
Yeah.

Yeah, I see that.

I'm just getting...

Esti.
- She's stressing me out, yeah.

Hi.

Hey, there he is.

Hey. Hey, what's going on?

You.

- Good to see you, man.
- Good to see you.

Are you ready to help decorate
for the private parts party?

Do we have to?

- We do.
- Okay.

You do.

The place really came together.

Yeah. Thank you.

Uh, are you okay?

Yeah. Yeah, I, just, you know,

I think doing normal girl things
kinda makes me anxious sometimes.

Are you a rabbit?

What do you mean?

That's no way to eat cake.

Oh.

Well, rabbits don't eat cake

because they're lactose intolerant.

Hmm.
- Yeah.

Also, I eat cake
like a totally normal person.

A totally normal person
who's afraid of cake.

Paige!

Hey, here she is.

Meet my husband Brett.

Oh. Hi.

I'm the one who got us into this mess.

- Ah.
- Ah.

Thank you so much for hosting, really.

Oh, no, it's not a problem.

This is my boyfriend Mal.

Hi. Congrats.

Ready for the big reveal?

Oh, my God. For sure.

It is so stressful
not knowing if it's a boy or a girl.

It's gotta be one of them, right?

Well, yeah, kind of but not-not really,

you know, because gender
is a social construct.

Like prom or the Easter Bunny.

So how did you two meet?

Hmm.

Welp, here I am, right where
normal ends and freak show begins.

The moment always comes

where the Amanda Millers of the world
look at you like that.

Because foster care and prison visits
will never be normal.

Ever!

But here's the thing.

Amanda Miller might feel normal,

but does she feel free?

I don't think so.

S-- Uh-- You know what? Why not?

Uh, I met Mal... through my dad...

Oh, that's so sweet.

...who just got out of prison...

Oh.
Wow.

...after 17 years.
- Wow.

And let me just answer
before you can ask.

He was a drug dealer.

Oh, wait. Drug dealers?

I just finished Orange Is the New Black.

Have you seen it?

No, we're still on Bridgerton.

Also, there were
14 foster homes because--

Wait, what show is this?

My mother was a prost*tute
and an alcoholic.

Wow.

Yeah.

But you're so upscale.

I mean, I thought you were
from, like, Linden Hills.

No.

I'm from, like, degenerates.

- Hey!
- Didn't see that coming.

Paige has overcome a lot.

I'll say.

And she's even dating Black men now,
so, round of applause.

Um, hon, I think
maybe it's time to load the cannon!

- Oh, yeah, there's a cannon.
- Load it up.

Pretty sure I was
supposed to hand out waivers.

Let's do this.

Guys? Hello?

It's almost time for the--

Jesus.

It's a boy. f*ck, yeah!

Oh.

Yeah. That's not coming out
of the carpet, or my hair.

Unseasonably hot weather was a blessing

for most at Cedar Lake,

but for others, it turned near deadly.

Dollie stuck in a deathtrap

until an unlikely man became her hero.

Ex-felon Edwin Alexander,
barely out of federal prison

and already redeeming himself
by saving a life.

Well, you know, I just did
what anybody would do.

I just saved an animal
who was in distress.

That's simple, really.

Look at you, man.

sh*t, go on, Edwin.

You deserve some ice-ice for damn sure.

You know, man, um, nah.

I'm-I'm not trying to make
a big statement to anybody.

- Mm-mmm. Let 'em weep.
- Yo. Buy it all.

I can't buy it all, man. I promised
my daughter I'd pay for a new roof, bro.

Hey, you need some extra funds,

we could always use
a little extra help around here.

- Know what I mean?
- Yeah, I know what you mean.

Hey. Hey.

Maybe just this one for now.

See.

Salud.

Salud.

You are so beautiful.

Oh, and thank you
for spending time with me.

I'm really honored.

Que romántico.

You are so very charming, Edwin.

What I am is grateful.

My life hasn't always been this good.

But it is now.

And I don't take that for granted.

Really?

You know, that kind of humility
is a beautiful quality.

Thank you.

Okay.

I must know everything about you.

Oh.

Where are you from?

Uh, Luisa...

that's a complicated question.

Very complicated.

But--

I believe in leveling with a lady,
so here we go--

Come on. Let's be honest. It was terrible.

It was really, really, really bad.

It was worse than Sunday dinner.

- Really?
- Do you think my house is cursed?

- It's fine!
- It was not.

It was, it was fine.

I mean, you know,
not the canon, but, you know,

I don't know why you agreed to that,
but you were fine.

Oh, if by "fine" you mean f*cked up.
Insecure. Neurotic. And Emotional.

I think maybe I should get a new job

before Amanda comes back
from maternity leave,

and then I never have to see her again.

Oh, well, that seems
like an appropriate response.

Well, look, you didn't
do anything wrong. Yeah?

You threw them a whole party.

It's okay to be honest about who you are.

You know what's weird? I felt that.

Which is why
I think I just put it all out there, but--

Hmm.

I love who you are,

and I understand what you've been through.

Oh, oh. Okay.

Um, I'm so sorry.

But I don't think
that I can do that right now.

- Of course. I understand.
- Okay.

- Hey.
- It was a lot.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

But if it makes you feel any better,

you look like a sexy avatar.

- I do?
- Yeah.

Okay, Papa Smurf. Mm!

Papa Smurf gonna take out this trash.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

See you later.

I didn't scare you off?

Mm.
You are a gentleman.

And your past, you seem to be
coming to terms with it.

Thank you.

You know, um,

I would really like to see you again.

Yeah, I got a better idea.

How about a little ice cream at my place?

Oh. I-I had my fill
of ice cream for today, uh--

'Cause you're gonna love...
what I'm serving.

I would love to get
some ice cream at your place.

Knock, knock.

Come in. Oh.

Hi.

Um--

Thank you so much for hosting the party.

Really, I loved the whole
non-binary onesie decorating.

And I'm so sorry about your ceiling.

Oh, no, Amanda.

I am the one who should be saying sorry.

You're sorry?

Yes.
- For what?

Well, I know that I must
have made people feel

so uncomfortable with all my--

You know, my dad's a drug dealer
and my mom's a wh*re.

No, Paige, no. It's so inspiring.

I mean, you're such a survivor.

How did I not know anything about you?

Because I didn't want you to know?

Well, and I found your Instagram. LakeHarrietTherapist.

Oh!
Paige, you're, like,

helping people for real.

Not like this corporate bullshit.

Oh, dear.

Did I just hear you curse out loud?

I know. I normally
like to keep that sh*t to myself.

Oh! Stop it.
That baby will hear you.

Uh, no, but, um, seriously.

Brett sent your Insta to his bestie
who's a programmer for TEDx,

and he loved it.

They wanna see
if you'd consider doing one.

You're asking me to do a TED Talk?

Mm-hmm. I mean,
think of how many people you'd reach.

Wow! Um... what would I even talk about?

Anything you want.

Oh. Oh, my God.

Oh, man, my bike.

Let's dig in.

Oh, sh*t, this is good!

It is?

Mm!
Mm!

- f*ck normal.
- Yeah.

f*ck normal.

I wanna be free.

Oh!

Oh!

Woo-hoo!