02x06 - Episode 6

[bunniefuu]

This place was falling apart
the last time I was here.

Oh, one too many last night,
cub, aye?

I read that humans evolved
to forget what pain feels like

so that women don't remember
the agony of childbirth.

I think it's
the same with hangovers.

You reckon?

Ashley Hayes?

It's Ash.

About time you showed up.

I'm Sergeant Pettigrew.

Ah...

Police Constable Callum McCarthy.

My control room was
broken into in the night

and my pasteuriser was jammed open.

300 litres of milk down the drain.

Quite literally.

Do you have any idea who...
Ralph Morrow.

Ralph Morrow? Well, it doesn't
take a genius to connect the dots.

We were gunning for
the same business deal.

I won!

Well, I can assure you that...

I don't mean to be rude,
but I've heard the spiel before.

I just need you to do your job.

That's all.

You get used to the smell.

I'm fine.

This was disconnected and...

Well...

So how much was the produce worth?

The milk? Yeah.
Hundreds.

But it was gonna
be turned into brie.

Oh, you make cheese here?

It's totally organic.

This was my first supermarket deal
and that was worth thousands, but...

Oh, this spill makes
hitting that deadline impossible

I'm gonna have a look outside ...

So, this used to be the Gibson farm?

Bought it about a year ago.
Right.

Just, I haven't seen you about town.

I'm sorry, is there a problem here?

Have we done something to
offend you?

Personally? No.

But I'm no stranger to prejudice
from the police,

so trust needs to be earned.

I'll need the crime
number for an insurance claim.

Sarge?

Does this belong to you?
No.

No? Let's get it bagged up.

Yeah.

I'll get you the crime number.

And, yeah,
trust does have to be earned.

So...

..give us a chance to earn it?

She reminds me of you,
before you've had a coffee.

Ha! She's nothing like me.

Happy birthday, woman.

You don't look a day over 40.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Ten points for being the first.

Ooh! Who's getting married?

Postie dropped your
mail in my letterbox.

Only three things certain in life -
birth, death and bills.

Do you know what day it is today?

Of course I do.

It's Thursday.

It's like watching
Jamie Oliver on steroids.

Got vegan sausages for Niamh,
the lot.

Need youse fed and watered
today if we're gonna pull this off!

Are you sure this is a good idea?

Siobhan, my Ma's
gonna be so distracted

thinking we've all
forgotten her birthday,

that a surprise party in
The Commodore

won't even cross her mind.

It's been a while since
you told me you want a divorce

and we've barely spoken about it.

Al and I kissed.

It should never have happened.

I feel terrible about it.
Al does too.

Sure, I told him I'm fine with it.

But he says you've been
avoiding him. Well, I haven't.

Right, Shay! Niamh!
Your breakfast's ready!

So I guess we're here
because you're trying to avoid Finn?

No.

We're in here for privacy.

I need to know if
you've heard anything from Jake?

Nada.

I mean, he was blackmailing us.

I doubt even Jake has
the guts to come crawling back.

It's been a good two weeks now.

Looks like we're in the clear.

And I promise you
I will pay back every penny

to Siobhan's cancer charity.

Morning. Morning.

I didn't know you
had such a good voice, Callum.

You sounded just like Ed Sheeran...

..with laryngitis.

'Bye.

See ya.

So, did you manage to woo anyone
with that voice of yours last night?

Only got to sing the one song.

Some guy was mic-hogging all night.

Let's run a check on Ralph Morrow.

Criminal damage
up at the Gibson farm.

It's been taken over by Ash Hayes.

Her and Marlene
got off on the wrong foot.

She thinks we're a bunch of idiots

who can't get to the
bottom of some spilt milk!

I'm with Mum on this one, Dad.

This surprise party
has disaster written all over it.

Right, everybody stop worrying.
We've got this under control.

DOOR OPENS

Ooh, looking good, Granny!

Am I?

And what's the occasion?

There's a bit of potato bread
there if you want it, Ma?

No, I've lost my appetite.

I was just dropping back your dish.

Thanks.

Well...

..if there's nothing else,
I'll be off then,

shall I?

All right, Ma.

DOOR CLOSES

Told you!

Doesn't even suspect a thing.

I even got Barry
to intercept the postman.

LAUGHTER

Thanks for coming in, Mr Morrow.
Ralph.

And I was going to anyway.

Ash Hayes has been
fly-tipping toxic waste on my farm.

What makes you think it's Ash?

My neighbour saw her fancy
jeep casing my farm the night

the waste was dumped.

Did you know there was a
break-in on Ash's farm last night?

Her milk tank was opened
and the produce relating to the

business deal you two
were in competition for was lost.

I was with Trevor Lecky all night.

Trevor Lecky?

He owns PD Waste Collections.

He come over to assess the waste
that Ash had dumped on my farm.

We ended up having a few drinks.

Ash is trying to frame me.

She's realised
she can't meet the demand.

She opened her own tank.

And why would she do that?

To collect on the insurance!

She's over-committed and she's
trying to use me as a scapegoat!

Ashley Hayes from Dungannon,
criminal damage.

Convicted just
before moving to Port Devine.

So she moved over here for a clean
start with a dirty record?

Well, there's a familiar tale.

Fly-tipping is
brutal on the environment.

Yeah, and feuds
between farmers can get ugly.

Do you remember
a couple of years ago

53 pigs were let
out on Port Devine High Street?

It was chaos!
LAUGHTER

Nicole!

I'm not here.

What?

Where's my baby-mummy?
We're doing the test today.

I'm sure she must've
been talking about it nonstop.

She's... She, eh...

She's... She's on a call.

Well, I hope it's not dangerous.

She's got more than
herself to think of now.

Well, special
breakfast for the surrogate.

Ah! Marlene's tummy only.

You know the test only takes a
few... I know how long it takes!

What's this?

Urgh...

That's 3.49 please, Concepta.

Even on a day like today?

Sure, we can do you a wee discount.

Aye, call it three quid?

Don't be silly, why should
I get any get special treatment?

There's nothing
special about me...

is there?

Well, sure, why don't you
have it for free? A wee treat.

Just because...

Because ...

Because we like you.

You're sure?

Absolutely! Yeah.

Have you noticed, like...

..an atmosphere with Finn and Al?

I wouldn't get involved, cub.

Whatever it is, they're old friends,
they'll sort it out.

Let's take this one gently.
I'll do the talking, all right?

Locked him up
and thrown away the key, then?

Er, we have spoken to
Ralph and confirmed that he

was nowhere near
your farm last night.

Oh, let me guess,
a mate's covering for him?

Eh, we can't comment on that.

Well, you know the way out.

We also need to
inform you that Ralph has made

a counter-allegation of harassment,

claiming that you have been
fly-tipping waste on his land.

Well, Ralph's a liar.

You wouldn't mind showing
us where you store your waste?

Do you have a search warrant? No.

But show us and we can
put this allegation to bed

and get back to
investigating your case.

These barrels have the same markings
as the waste tipped on Ralph's farm.

But it's not me tipping it!

Can I ask where
you were two nights ago?

Here.

Can anyone verify that?

Do you see anyone else?

Ashley Hayes, I'm
arresting you for harassment.

You do not have to say anything
but it may harm your defence

if you do
not mention when questioned

something you
later rely on in court.

Anything you do say
may be given in evidence.

These could have come from anywhere.

A witness saw you near Ralph's farm
on the night the waste was dumped.

The markings on
these barrels match your waste

and you have no-one to
corroborate your whereabouts.

You know, before I moved here,

I was being harassed and your
lot wouldn't do anything about it.

We know you have a
record for criminal damage.

You don't know anything about me.

And you don't know anything about us

but you seem to
have our cards marked.

Do you just use the
one waste collection company?

The one guy, more like.

Trevor.

He comes every time and...

And what?

He keeps coming onto me.

And he makes these... jokes.

What kind of jokes?

You could say h*m*,
but the way he does it.

I dunno...

You're g*y?

Do you have a problem with that? No.

No, we can't be h*m*.

Marlene's g*y.

Look,

between Trevor's jokes
and his impersonation of 'The King',

he's doing my head in.

The King?

He's some kind of singer, I think.

Is there anything at all
you can give us that proves

you weren't near Ralph's farm
on the night the waste was dumped?

Anything like
a petrol receipt or a bar bill?

I was with someone...

..but she isn't 'out' yet.

Ash,

you can trust us to
keep information confidential.

I'm sorry, but...

..I've principles
when it comes to this stuff.

Is this the same Trevor Lecky?

Yeah.

This is the guy who was hogging the
mic last night at karaoke.

Hello, hello.

Trevor Lecky?

Come on, on in.

The King.

Not a woman in the world
wouldn't fall at his feet.

I don't want to brag,

but I would consider myself the
best impersonator in Port Devine.

That's ...

That's quite the claim.

Can we ask where you were
last night?

I went over to assess
the waste on Ralph's farm.

Ralph Morrow? Aye.

We got drinking and
I woke up on his sofa this morning

with my shoes on,

but no socks!

You two friends, aye?

Well,

I feel sorry for him,

the fly-tipping's
driving the poor fella mad

and he's right, you know.

He's right about what?

The waste is coming
from that woman Ash's farm.

There must be a lot of farmers round
here who use those chemicals?

True, but she should be generating
more waste

than we're collecting from her.
What do you mean?

I've been in this game a long while
and her numbers don't stack up.

BALLOON POPS

Would you stop that, please?

Do you have a boyfriend, Taylor?

No.

Nothing serious.

Why?

Just... good to know.

Isn't it, Shay?

MOBILES PHONE BUZZES

Everything OK?

Yeah.

I've got to go.

I'll see you tonight?

Definitely.

'Bye.

Hi, Concepta!

Concepta!

Are Shay and Niamh in there?
I wanted a wee word.

Ah, you've just missed them.

And I'm actually on my way to
a meeting about becoming partner

at the GP practice.

I'm a in a wee bit of a rush.

You must have straightened things
out with Finn, then?

Ah, it's work in progress.

Talking to your son's like
trying to get blood from a stone.

Well, you can hardly
blame him for being distant.

You were kissing his
best man two weeks ago.

Give him time.

Really mum? Al?

Yeah, I know Trevor.

He comes in once a month
for karaoke.

Aha, there she is.

Police Sergeant Pettigrew, I've been
looking for you all morning.

Will we, eh, go grab the test?

They're working, sweetheart.

Let's stick to the plan, eh?

We'll do it
together after work, yeah?

Why don't you make them a coffee?

Because caffeine's really
bad for the baby.

What time did
Trevor leave the karaoke?

Ah, he was steaming drunk.

I stopped serving him around 11.

So Trevor's lied,
he wasn't with Ralph.

Hot chocolate?

Meet you back at the station, cub.

Right you are.

Yes, gents? I'll have this and then
we'll do the pregnancy test.

Look, I've tried calling you several
times, but you never pick up.

Well, I am busy.

Your mum let it slip.

My mum?

Look she didn't realise the kids
were in the house.

Hang on a second!

How does my
mother know about you and Al?

She saw us kiss.

Look, she didn't tell you because
she knows it didn't mean anything.

Right, so everybody is
talking about this behind my back?

My mum, the kids, Al?

I have tried speaking to you,
but you're shutting me out.

I've apologised, Finn,

but I can't
turn back the clock.

I can't go on like this.

So, what now?

I'm gonna hire a divorce lawyer

and when you get the paperwork
through, you'll be free of me.

Don't make a fuss, Clint.
I'm fine.

It can't have been easy
going through that thing.

I...

I'm really proud of you
for wanting to help your friend,

but maybe it's a sign?

Of what?

Well...

you're not pregnant

and now you have an escape route.

Look, maybe you don't
agree with this surrogacy,

but Nicole is my best mate

and I made her a promise.

And I've principles
about this kind of stuff.

Is it true?

You're divorcing mum?

She told you that?

Ach, love...

Me and your mum have
been separated for over a year.

It's a long time coming.

So, it's got nothing to do with
the fact that mum and Al kissed?

Mum and Al are adults.

Whatever they do is their business.

You two are melters!
It was just a kiss!

If you love her, you could at least
put up a bit of a fight.

I did go over to
Ralph's to assess the waste

but I didn't stay
quite as long as I made out.

Did Ralph ask you to cover for him

because he caused
criminal damage on Ash's farm?

He just said, "If anyone asks,
say you were with me last night."

I'd no idea there
had been a break-in.

I was hungover and
wasn't thinking straight.

Where did you go after
The Commodore?

Home. I went straight home ...

Can anyone verify that?

Yes. Roger.

Roger.

My spaniel.

So...

Ash said you kept coming on to her,
even after she told you she was g*y.

Did you lie about Ralph as revenge?

Ash is just playing hard to get.

Deep down I know she likes me.

No, Trevor.

Ash is g*y.

So, what about g*y people?
You got a problem with us?

I'm not h*m*,
if that's what you think!?

I was just trying my luck.

That's not a crime, is it?

Ralph is still
insisting that it was Ash.

And we can prove that's not true

if Ash would let us
know who she was with.

Right, I'll spread
the word around the local farmers,

make sure they contact us directly
if they spot anyone fly-tipping.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Tell me that one of
youse has seen Concepta?

No. No.

Nicole says that she saw Concepta
getting on a bus to

Belfast at lunchtime.

Well, I'll ring her.
No, no, no, her phone's off.

And then Dot Harper rang to tell me

that Concepta has been bending her
ear all afternoon,

so how's she at Dot's
and in Belfast at the same time?

Barry, when you've driven Ash into
town, did you see her with anyone?

Ash? Ash Hayes? Uh-huh.

Er, only once.

Er, with Mrs Emerson's daughter,
Aoife.

Right.

Oh, um, was Nicole OK after I left?

Well, she was certainly
putting on a brave face.

Right.

I spoke to the sergeant
in Dungannon.

I know about your ex.

And here, look, I understand
why you don't trust the police.

I've always believed
in being proud of who you are.

I pushed the girl
I was seeing to come out...

..but her family turned on her.

Her dad kicked her out.

And her brother,

well, he blamed me.

None of that is your fault.

He started harassing me,
following me.

It went on for months.

I tried the police.

Yeah, but without evidence
there's only so much we can do.

Here.

Thanks.

One day I saw his car parked in town

and I guess I just snapped because
next thing I knew I'd keyed it.

Right down the side.

It turns out there was, like,
eight cameras pointed right at me.

This cheese is really good. Mm.

Ash...

..were you with Aoife Emerson
the night the waste was dumped?

It's just, I'd
like to check with her

and I promise I will
be as discreet as possible.

I'll let Aoife know you're coming.

Thank you.

I'm coming, Jake. Two minutes.

Ash was with Aoife
when the waste was dumped.

Well, that rules Ash
out of the fly-tipping.

That was Dessie Brankin.

He says there's a truck on
his farm dumping waste, right now.

I just checked the licence plate

and it's registered
to PD Waste Collections!

OK, let's go! Let's go!
Right.

SIREN WAILS

TRUCK BEEPS

Hey!

Stop!

Stop!

Trevor Lecky,

I'm arresting you for criminal
damage on Ashley Hayes' farm

and for fraud
by false representation.

You don't have to say anything,
but it may harm your defence

if you don't mention
when questioned

something you
later rely on in court.

Anything you do say
may be used as evidence.

So you've been collecting waste from
one farm and dumping it on another.

I only did enough to pay
off the interest to Donnie Kesson.

He's a loan shark from Belfast.

Nasty.

Nasty piece of work.

I borrowed money to
buy the yard down here.

But why fly-tip on Ralph's land?

He thought you were friends.

Ash was new to town too

and their horns were
locked over the business deal.

I knew Ralph would blame her.

Why should we believe that you're
not behind

the criminal damage on Ash's farm?

Because, honestly,
I've nothing against Ash.

Ralph called me at 6am.

Asked me to cover for him.

I only agreed because I felt guilt.

Felt guilty for using him.

He called you at 6am?

Yeah.

Woke me up before my alarm.

Trevor told us you called him
this morning at 6am and asked him

to cover for you, is that right?

I told you.

I knew she was trying to frame me!

Yeah, but Ash didn't discover
the break-in until after 7am.

Maybe it was later than six,
I can't remember the exact time.

It was 6:03am, according
to Trevor's phone records.

We found this at the crime scene.

Now, we're gonna search your
house and if we find any clothing

matching this material,
forensics will link them.

What about my harassment case?

What about the toxic
waste that she dumped on my farm?

That could have
made my animals sick!?

Yeah, that wasn't Ash.

It was Trevor.

Sometimes people just
aren't who you think they are.

It was me.

I opened the tank.

Well, I'd be lying
if I said Aoife was happy to see me,

but look, no-one will know
until she's ready to tell them,

you have my word.

Ralph's been charged with criminal
damage to your property

and Trevor for fly-tipping, so...

You went to a lot of trouble
to gain my trust.

Well, now you have it.

No need to key any more cars then?

So long as everyone keeps behaving.

Of course.

I'll see you.

Do you, like, LIKE her?

Just because we're both g*y doesn't
mean we fancy each other, Callum.

Concepta?

Concepta?

LIGHT SWITCH CLICKS

Surprised to see me?

SHE LAUGHS

You scared the life out of me.

You took your time finding me.

The bus to Belfast? Dot Harper?

You had me ringing
round all of Port Devine.

Serves you right.

You were all trying to trick me

so I thought I'd
play a wee trick of my own.

Get the party started.

You do know that your wee Niamh
is on her way to Belfast,

on her own, looking for you?

And all this while, you
knew that everybody was trying to

organise a surprise
party in your honour.

By lying to me.

Because they love you.

You silly aul goat.

See the older I get in life, the
more I understand what's important

and it's certainly
not always being in control.

It's learning how to let go.

I was just...

I was just watching the boats.

Watching the boats?

I'm not an idiot, you know.

And I might not show it, but...

..I'm upset too.

I was just so excited.

I know.

But look,

we have a month to reset,
get our heads together...

..and then we can try again.
Yeah?

There you are, love,

I've been looking
everywhere for you.

Ach, love.

I'm OK.

We're just talking.

She's gone to Belfast.

What?!

Surprise!

She heard you twos eejits
talking in the kitchen this morning.

Do you think I was born yesterday?

What are you like?

Well, listen, Ma,

surprise or no surprise...

..this is for your birthday

and also for all the support you've
shown Siobhan during her treatment.

Yeah, that's something
neither of us will forget.

Thank you, Concepta,
and happy birthday!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Ralph and Ash are outside,
I think they're arguing.

What?!

Are you OK?

Yeah, Ralph was just telling me
that he was led to believe

by a friend that it was me dumping
the waste on his farm.

That's true. He was.

But part of me wanted to believe it.

Jealousy about the deal,
maybe even a little prejudice.

I'm sorry.

I'll take my punishment,

but I want to make
sure you get on the shelves

of that supermarket on time.

I can pull a few favours.

If you'd like the help, that is?

No strings attached.

Sounds like a fair deal to me.

If he follows through, I'll
put in a good word for him at court.

What're you doing in town?

I'll just...

I'll get the drinks in.

So, em, what are you doing in town?

Thought I'd see
what I've been missing.

Cheers.
You're welcome.

Marlene gave me the bad news.

I'm really sorry the pregnancy
didn't work out.

Ah, thanks mate.

I tell you,
your ma's a piece of work.

She got a free
frappuccino off me earlier on

because I felt so guilty about
pretending to forget her birthday.

You all right?

Yeah.

I don't know how you stand it.

Him getting on
with Siobhan like that.

Siobhan is free to do what
she likes and so is Al.

Call me old-fashioned,
but what about the mate's code?

Clint, any chance of you working
the bar and not drinking it?

See ya.

Well, congrats!

You're back with Jake?

What?

I saw you on the back
of his big motorbike earlier.

Were you following me?

Thought you didn't have a boyfriend?

Don't stalk me, you creepy perv!

Shay?

Hey!

Jake?

He's caught up with some loan
shark from Belfast,

Donnie something or other.

Donnie Kesson?

What's that got to do with you?

Jake's in over his head with Donnie

and he's trying to use us
as leverage.

He says Donnie wants information
from the police database

or he's gonna hand over the evidence
from the ATM theft to the police.

Have you any idea how much trouble
I'd get in if I did that?

He's desperate.
I saw it in his eyes.

What are we gonna do?

Finn?

Siobhan's in
there worried about you.

Really?

Didn't look too worried to me.

You know what, mate?
I'm going to be honest with you.

I think you're overreacting
to this whole thing.

Is that right now?

You're getting divorced over
a stupid kiss.

I've apologised, all right?
Siobhan's apologised.

Why don't you just talk to her?

What just go in there, tell her
everything's going to be OK,

play happy families?
Does that sound good to you?

Talk to her, all right?

Talk to me.
Scream! Shout!

Hit me if you want to,
but do something

because I am sick of you pretending
that everything's fine!

SHAY!

Shay! Shay stop!

Come on, the cake's about to
be cut here.

You are pathetic! You really
are, just, just letting him

steal mum from right
under your nose!

OK, that is enough, son!

I can smell the booze
off your breath.

You go home and you sober up!

It is the PE teacher all over again.

Shay?

Oh, no, except this time,
it's your best mate!

Everybody just take a breath.

Maybe you like it?

Maybe you're just happy letting mum
sleep with whoever she wants?

SHAY!

Go on! Do it!
Do it!

Finn..

Al, I think
you've done enough, mate.

Hey.

Talk to me, Finn.

What is wrong with me?

What's wrong with me?