02x07 - Episode 7

[bunniefuu]

What's going on here?

The Port Devine Pigeon Club are
twinning with another club from France.

Oh.
I didn't know Barry kept pigeons.

No, he doesn't.
He used to a long time ago.

How's it going, Barry?

Well, it was going all right,
but Hugh is late!

Hugh-who?

McCoy - the president of the club.

He was supposed to have
made his speech by now.

I am absolutely mortified! Hugh
McCoy has let us down a bucketful!

Belle, let's just give him
a few more minutes, OK?

He's 15 minutes late already!

As club treasurer,
you'll have to step in.

HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

Er, excusez-moi?

Vous...

..pigeons Francais.

Sorry, what is that?
He just called them French pigeons.

We here in the
Port Devine Pigeon Club,

we are delighted to be twinned

with
the Pigeon Club of Bellenord.

And I would like to present
your President,

Monsieur Philippe Chapeau-Noir,

with a little token of our
international friendship.

Here we are!

Stop! Stop! Stop!

Hugh? What's wrong?

My pigeons have been stolen!

What happened last night,

you need to understand,

your dad's under a lot of pressure
at the moment.

He needs your patience
and your support.

He's always been there for you
when you've messed up.

How about you do the same for him?

Have we run out of milk?

I'll go and get some.

I just got home from a walk
and found the pigeon loft empty.

My birds are all gone.

Could someone have
accidentally let them loose?

No, they're homing pigeons, cub.

If they'd been released they
would've come back. Right enough.

And how valuable are these birds?

As breeding stock they're
worth a fortune.

My champion racer's
worth £10,000.

£10,000?!

What time did you last see them?

Just before 8am.

And what time did you discover
they were gone?

About ten to nine.

There have been
a lot of thefts recently,

things going missing from gardens.

The backyard burglar
that was in the paper?

Yeah. I mean, this could be related,

but we'll need to examine
the crime scene.

Just one second.
Callum...

..I can't go to
Hugh's pigeon loft.

I'm allergic to birds.

That's not what I heard.

It's cos of my allergy that Barry
had to get rid of his pigeons.

I'll tell Al to meet you there, OK?

Dad, you're not going to give Jake
that police info he asked for?

Don't worry about it.
How can I not?

He wants to pass it on to
a criminal g*ng.

If it's traced back to you, you'll
go to jail for a very long time.

Honestly, sweetheart,
it's going to be OK.

I need to get to work.

Concepta, how's Finn?

I haven't seen him yet.

He stayed with Clint.

Can you keep an eye on him
today, Al?

Sure.

Is this an identity ring?

Yeah, we put it on the pigeon's leg
when it's a baby.

This belonged to Flossie.

She had an infected leg.
I had to cut it off.

The leg?

No, the ring.

It's the only way to remove them.

This is my wife, Susan.

Do you have any idea who
took the pigeons?

We're working on it.

The harbour race is today.

My champion, The Real McCoy,
is about to make the record books

for winning it more
than any other bird in history.

Hugh's seriously ill.

He's got pigeon fancier's lung.

That's my business, Susan! Would you
stop telling the whole world?!

You need to see a doctor.
I'm going to give her a ring.

Find something, Cal?

Yeah, an earring.

That's Susan's.

She feeds the birds sometimes.
She must've dropped it.

Do you think maybe this backyard
burglar took the birds?

It's too early to tell.

The doctor's on her way.

That's quite a collection
of trophies, Mrs McCoy.

Oh, there's no better pigeon breeder
or trainer than Hugh.

You're proud of him?
Naturally.

Were you here
when the birds were taken?

No, I was at my t'ai chi class.

I go every Friday morning at eight.

And what time do you get back at?

About 20 past nine.

Are the birds insured?

Yes, but that'll be of no comfort to
him.

I can't believe you
left your bike outside!

Only now
when I came back from getting milk.

You should call Dad.

After what he did last night?
No way. What happened?

Someone came this close to
getting his features rearranged.

By Finn?!

Whatever you said it must have
been really bad.

I can't afford to
replace that bike.

You may call your dad and report
it.

Report what?
He got his bike stolen.

Ach, you didn't leave it
unlocked again, did you?

I can't believe you lifted your hand
to one of our kids.

I didn't hit him.

Yeah, but you wanted to.

Carry on like this and you'll end up
pushing us all away.

Well, maybe a bit of space
is a good thing.

I've got a wee place of my own.

I'm just here to pick up my stuff.

HUGH COUGHS UNCONTROLLABLY

Look at the state of you, Hugh!

It's a blessing those
birds have gone!

Don't talk rubbish, Susan!

Sorry, he's not usually that rude.

Is something burning?

Oh, that's Hugh's lunch!

The wife let slip that he has
pigeon fancier's lung?

I've never heard of it.

The dust from the birds' feathers
causes breathing difficulties,

and in the most severe cases
it can be fatal.

I'll go and check on him.

Whoa!

Wait a second.

These things are deadly.

I've just saved your life.

All right there, Clint?

I heard about the pigeons.

Have they been found yet?

No.

What are you doing here, Siobhan?

Hugh's not very well.
I'm going to assess him now.

Right, well ...

..tell him I was asking about him,
will you?

How is Shay?

Bad-tempered and unforgiving.

Oh? I wonder who he takes after?

His mother's side of the family.

And to make matters worse,
Shay's bike's been stolen.

Yeah,
some opportunist has been taking

a lot of things from gardens
and yards recently.

You know, I've seen a red truck
parked behind my house a few times.

No idea who owns it.

All, right OK.
Thanks for the tip.

And try not to worry about Finn.

I'll keep an eye on him
whenever I can, OK?

Marlene! Oh, hi.

Er, Concepta have you,
have you met my cheesemaker...

..I mean, er, my friend Ash?
She's a cheesemaker.

Nice to meet you.

Good strong grip you have there.

Oh, years of milking.

Ash has a dairy herd.

Er, so, we still on for tonight?

Tonight? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you want to walk with me? Yeah.

See you, Concepta.

I was thinking maybe The Commodore?

Again? No.

Why don't we meet somewhere else?
What about the...?

Erm, the Giddy Kipper?
That is miles away!

I was hoping for somewhere a bit
closer to home.

Is there a problem?

You are, out yeah?

Yeah. Yeah, I am.

It's recent.

Look, I'd better get back to work.

How about I call you later, yeah?
Yeah. OK.

Come on, mate, it's only eight
digits.

Yeah, but it changes every month.

Hi, guys. All right?

Sorry I'm late.

I had to do a bit of making up
with the family.

Is there any chance that the
backyard thief stole Hugh's pigeons?

He's more opportunistic.

This bird theft was planned.

Yeah, we're thinking the birds were
stolen to sell

or taken by a rival.

Hugh and Belle Robinson
are mortal enemies.

They have been for years.
And, do you know what,

she wasn't at breakfast this morning
with the other pigeon fanciers.

Well, it sounds like
we need to speak to Belle.

We heard that you and Hugh McCoy
weren't on the best of terms.

Oh, please, take a seat.

Whatever friendly
rivalry there was between me and him

was forgotten
when I heard he'd pigeon lung.

I wouldn't wish
that on my worst enemy.

How did you know about the illness?

Well...

..the coughing, the wheezing.

I thought everyone knew.

With Hugh's champion bird
out of the big race,

it seems your pigeon is odds-on
favourite to win.

Winning today is the furthest
thing from my mind.

OK.

Can I ask you where you were when
the pigeons went missing, Mrs Robinson?

I was getting
ready for the ceremony.

I left here, oh, about 8:45.

Have you been up to Hugh McCoy's
pigeon loft recently? No!

Only I found an earring there
similar to the pair you're wearing.

Oh, my style,
but it's not one of mine.

Perhaps it belongs to Susan.

We've checked - Susan's ears are
pierced and she can only wear gold.

Really?

I'd no idea.

So, I was thinking we paint
the nursery yellow and white.

And then when we find out
if we're having a boy or a girl,

then we can add in either blue or
pink accent colours.

Or we could go plain white
and then...

Yellow and white. Perfect.

Our Shay's bike's been stolen.

If you hear that one of your dodgy
relatives is selling one,

you'll let Finn know, won't you?

Here, what do you
think of Marlene's new friend Ash?

Ash?

There's something
going on between them.

Something more than cheese.

Oh, that Ash!

Speaking of romance,

I saw Al and Siobhan earlier,
looking very friendly.

Then you need your eyes tested.

But I heard that...
Then get your ears tested as well.

There's nothing going on there!

Believe me, if there was, I'd know.

What can you tell us about the
rivalry between Hugh and Belle?

Well, it's been bad at times.

She once accused him of feeding his
birds performance enhancing drugs.

Any truth in it?

Not at all!

Belle is a ...

..passionate, headstrong sort of
woman.

She had a wee notion of me
at one time.

Who's that you're talking about?

Belle - short for Jezebel -
Robinson?

The way I remember it is

you chased after her, she made an
eejit of you

and dumped you for a flash Harry
with a Jag.

Belle is a bit high maintenance.

With very low morals.

When she stops to cross the road,
cars pull up and ask how much.

I know you're not one to spread
rumours, Concepta, but

you must've heard
something on the grapevine.

Well, as it happens,

Doreen the lollipop lady
was on duty this morning,

and she saw Hugh McCoy
go into Belle's house just after

eight o'clock and leave before nine,

looking flushed and dishevelled.

Hugh and Belle?
Getting jiggy with it?

I don't believe it!

It'll be over the second she finds
someone with a bigger wallet.

Mark my words, Hugh will be kicked
to the kerb, just like you were.

Thanks, Barry.

You're welcome.

Mr McCoy?

Oh, hello.

I was just wondering,

are the insurance payments on your
birds up-to-date?

Yes, they are.

I just increased them recently.

Can I ask why?
It was for the trip to France.

What's the nature of your
relationship with Belle Robinson?

Were you at her house this morning?

Yes, I was with Belle at her
house this morning.

She probably lost her
earring last week

when she was up at my pigeon loft.

Since the trip to, France
we've become...

..close.

MOBILE PHONE VIBRATES
Excuse me.

Right. OK.

Mr McCoy, where's your wife now?

Ah, she just nipped out to the
shops.

She'll be back any minute.

Do you have the pedigree
certificates for your birds?

Yes, they're in here.

They're gone!

Does your wife have a
key for this box?

Yes, she does.

Oh, hello.

Mrs McCoy.

I've just had a message
from your t'ai chi instructor

saying that you were at the class
this morning,

but you left after ten minutes.

Can you tell me where you went?

KNOCK ON DOOR
Yeah?

Dot Harper said the red truck is
parked up on Back Hill.

Would you come with me?

Er, in case we find the pigeons.

Yeah, of course.

Here, and if this red truck is
the backyard thief,

he might have Shay's bike.
Hopefully.

I need to build some
bridges with him.

This is the truck my ma
was talking about.

No sign of Shay's bike.
No.

But he must be nearby.

GATE CLOSES

Looking for these?

You're under arrest for theft.

You don't have to say anything,
but it may harm your defence

if you don't mention when questioned
something you later rely on in court.

Anything you do say may be
used as evidence.

What were you doing with these pedigree
certificates in your handbag, Susan?

I was making copies...

..for the insurance claim.

Why didn't you tell your husband?

I didn't want to upset him.

Did you take the pigeons?

We will find out, Susan.

Yes! I took them!

I couldn't bear to watch Hugh
choking to death any more!

I found somebody who will look
after them properly. Who?

Where are the pigeons now?

In an old loft...

..not far from our house.

Lunch together!
Like the good old days!

Only now you're the married lady
and I'm the single one.

Lock up your sons!

And what's that supposed to mean?
Ignore him.

I'm just glad you're starting to
look and sound like yourself again.

Well, after the lumpectomy,
I completely lost my mojo.

Finn was no help in getting
that back.

Lucky for me,
Al turned up when he did.

Hmm, he has been paying you
a lot of attention recently.

Yeah.

You know, and the flirting with him
makes me feel attractive again,

but there's nothing going on there.

Besides...

Besides what?

I see the looks.

I hear the whispers.

Branded for life like some
scarlet woman.

Oh, I know what you mean.

That smug show-off Claudia Preston
was in here droning on

and on about her new twins.

Harper and... Tulliver.

Anyway, she got this look of pity in
her eye

and changed the subject.

What if Clint
and I never have children?

What will our future look like then

I really hope the surrogacy
works out, Nicole.

Ignore the looks.

Yes.

And you ignore the whispers.

Life's too short not to be happy.
Amen to that!

And if they're going to treat me
like a scarlet woman,

I've got just the dress for them.

SHE CHUCKLES

We went to the loft, Susan.

The birds are gone.

They can't be!

All their identity rings
have been cut off.

What did you do with them?
Nothing!

Did you want revenge?

Revenge for what??

You can stop pretending.

We know about the affair.

What are you talking about?

I'm not having an affair!

We can rule out the backyard
thief.

He was caught on camera on the other
side of the town

stealing garden furniture at the
time the pigeons went missing.

These are Susan's phone records.

There are a lot of messages
between her and Belle Robinson.

They were planning something.

First we find that Belle is
having a fling with Hugh.

Now she's best friends
with his wife?

Come on, Callum.

Did Belle come up with the plan to
take the birds, Susan?

The thing is, we know that Belle
couldn't have taken them.

She was with Hugh,
at her house.

What were they doing there?

Are they the ones who've been having
the affair?

SHE SCOFFS

There must be some mistake.

Belle wouldn't do that to me.

How come nobody knew
she was your friend?

Why was it a secret?

Because of her rivalry with Hugh.

We didn't want him spoiling it.

There's a lot of texts between you.

It seems like she was coaxing you to
get rid of the birds.

She was helping me
find somebody to take them!

Belle wasn't helping you
re-home them.

Do you know what I think?

She was selling them.

Belle was only pretending
to be my friend?

Where are you meant to be meeting
her to hand over the certificates?

PIGEONS COO

Oi!

Are those Hugh McCoy's birds?

No, they're mine!

No leg rings.

There's really only one
way to find out who owns them.

Callum, open the crate.

They are homing pigeons after all.

Your house is that way,
isn't it, Mrs Robinson?

Susan was worried about your health.

Belle convinced her to steal
the pigeons

by pretending to be her friend.

I was taken in by her too.

I feel like such a fool.

I think Susan feels foolish too.

Belle took both of yous for a ride.

What about my pigeons?

If they're taken to France for
breeding...

..they'll clip their wings.

They'll never fly again.

WINGS FLUTTER

My pigeons! They're home!

Oh, Lord...

What's wrong?

Erm...

..I...

I have aller...

Allergies.

MOBILE PHONE VIBRATES

Marlene?

Well?

Have they arrived yet?

Belle Robinson, Philippe
Chapeau-Noir, I am arresting you

for the theft
of Hugh McCoy's pigeons.

You do not have to say anything
but it may harm your defence

if you do not mention when questioned
something you later rely on in court.

Anything you do say may be
given in evidence.

I was helping Susan to save Hugh

by giving Philippe the pigeons.

Not according to Mr Chapeau-Noir.

As soon as you handed over
the pedigree certificates,

he was going to transfer
the cash into your bank account.

The money was going to be
transferred from my account to Susan's.

And nobody can prove otherwise.

You told him Susan was selling
the birds for Hugh to have

experimental
treatment for pigeon lung.

Susan took those pigeons, not me!

You know, Susan really tried to
protect you.

She believed you were her friend.

Hi.

What do you want?

Oh, you found it!

Try not to sound too surprised.

HE LAUGHS DELIGHTEDLY

No way! Thanks.

Shay...

..I'm really sorry about last night,
mate.

Yeah, erm...

Look I'm really sorry too, Dad.

I was drunk and totally out of
order. Come here.

I shouldn't have
lost my temper with you.

That will never happen again,
OK?

I love you to bits.
Yeah.

Shay's bike! Well done, Finn.

Do you two want to have dinner
with me later, Commodore?

We'd love that!
Yeah, we would.

I'll finish up work in about an hour
and I'll see you round there, yeah?

Finn, wait!

Are you sure you're
going to be all right?

I mean, living somewhere by
yourself.

Yeah, I'll be fine.

Being here with you, while we split
up, it's too stressful.

It's for the best.

Yeah.

That's all I needed to know.

HORN HONKS

HE EXHALES DEEPLY

Oh, Hugh,
you're not supposed to be here.

You shouldn't be in contact
while Susan's out on bail.

I just wanted to make sure
she was OK.

She's just collecting a few things.

Where are you going?

To our Peggy's.

Why did you never say that
you hated the birds?

I didn't hate them,
but they were making you sick

and I was afraid of losing you.

I didn't know that I already had.

I swear, things with Belle never
went that far.

It was just a bit of a kiss,
that's all.

When I got my diagnosis,
I just lost my head.

I was scared...

..and I was selfish.

I didn't think how it was
affecting you.

Your wife put herself in danger
of prosecution

for the sake of your health.

I realise that now.

Susan...

..can you ever forgive me?

I honestly don't know.

Yes, love, what can I get you?

Erm, a pint of the black stuff,
please.

Here...

..I'm meeting someone here for
dinner. First date.

Which table would you recommend?

That's a cosy wee corner over there.

Ah! Are you Marlene's mate, Ash?

Wow! The grapevine round here
is faster than the 5G.

Yeah, I think you'll find you can't keep a
secret in Port Devine for long. I'm Clint.

Here, take a seat and I'll bring it
over when it settles.

And Marlene's a mate,
so it's on the house.

Oh cheers... Clint

You're welcome, Ash.

So, what's going on between you
and Marlene?

If it's any of your business,
we're dating.

Well, it is my business.
Marlene is having my baby.

Oh, I knew there was something up!

I thought maybe she wasn't out, but
I never imagined anything like this!

I'm sorry.

If I'd known Marlene was in a
relationship

I wouldn't have got involved.

What have you done now?!

Will we see you at The Commodore?

Yeah, I'll catch you
later for a pint.

Oh, and Callum, good work today.

What's wrong?

We have to tell Finn you're being blackmailed
by criminals and it's all my fault.

It's not and there's no need to tell
Finn anything, all right?

I figured out a way to sort it.

Promise me that whatever it is,
you won't get caught.

There's no way to trace
it back to me, all right? I swear.

OK?

I'll see you later.

Hi, Finn.

Finn, about last night...

..I'm sorry.

It should've been me
on the receiving end, not Shay.

Just forget about it.

Jake...

..I've got that
information you wanted.

Hello. Susan, you know
I said a wee prayer to St Anthony

that your birds would be found safe.

Thanks, Concepta.

Barry, I was thinking it over and
because of my health, I was wondering...

..would you like to have joint
ownership of my pigeons?

If you could race them
and look after them,

they could stay in my loft,
I can see them out the window?

Oh, thank goodness!

I thought you were going to suggest
keeping them next door to me.

You know, Barry's birds used to
use my washing for target practice.

Hugh, I would be delighted.

Tough day at work?

No.

I was supposed to meet someone here
but I...

I think I've blown it.

What, you had a date? With who?

Ash.

I really like her.

But I've been
acting like a mad woman,

and I haven't told
her about the surrogacy yet, and...

..now she's stood me up.

I'm sure she hasn't.

I've called her twice.

She's not picking up.

Well, whoever she is,
she clearly isn't good enough.

Here, can you smell something.

Ah, it's your pants,
they're on fire.

I'm afraid I'm going to have
to arrest you.

That dress you're wearing is
causing a disturbance.

SHE CHUCKLES

Is that right?

We've always been attracted to each
other, right?

But never...

..unattached at the same time.

Until now.

What are you saying?

The house is empty.

So I'm going to finish this drink
and go home.

And in a few minutes,
you're going to follow me.

Are you serious?

SIGHING: I'm starving.

What's keeping your dad?
Has he answered your text yet?

No, no. He, erm... He said he'd come
straight from the station.

Sure, Niamh's gone to see what's
keeping him.

Dad?

Are you drinking at work?

How long have you been doing this?

Please, Niamh,
you can't tell anybody.

You can't tell anybody, OK?

Are you going to stand in that
doorway all night?

Are you sure about this, Siobhan?