06x01 - European Rae-cation: Part 1

[bunniefuu]

♪ ♪

Ah! I'm so excited.
We're finally going to London!

I made a list of all the important places
we should see.

Like Big Ben, um,
Buckingham Palace!

And Pop-Pop?

Yeah, yeah, and Pop-Pop.
[clears throat]

Add Pop-Pop to the list.

I found our seats.

Man, I was hoping I'd be
sitting next to a cute girl.

You are sitting
next to a cute girl.

Your mama.

Oh, you funny. Get up.

So where's my seat?

Right here.

Say what?

What? The flight
is expensive, girl.

Okay? And to save money,
I only bought two seats.

I am not a lap child.

Well I tried to convince them

that you were
my emotional support niece,

but they weren't
buying it so... ka.

[yelling]
Uh, all the shows are British!

Booker, you're yelling.

What's a vicar
and why is he gobsmacked?

-Booker.
-Oh, wait. I know why.

A dodgy bloke done
snogged his bird!

Booker!

Mom, you have to keep it down.

People are trying to sleep.

[gasps]
Alice, Alice.

Get ready. Here comes
the flight attendant.

Put your thumb in your mouth
and act like a baby.

Go, go, go on.

Goo-goo ga-ga.

[laughs] Yes! It worked.

Keep that up for 11 hours
and we are golden.

♪ We going to London! ♪

♪ We going
to London! ♪

♪ Ohh ♪

♪ Ha, ha, let me
tell you somethin' ♪

♪ Had my vision
all worked out ♪

♪ But then life
had other plans ♪

♪ Tell 'em, Ma ♪

♪ It's crazy when things
turn upside down ♪

♪ But ya gotta get up
and take that chance ♪

-♪ In the city I'm finding my way ♪
-♪ It's gonna take some time ♪

-♪ Yeah, we're gonna be okay ♪
-♪ You know I got you, right? ♪

♪ It might be wild, but you
know that we make it work ♪

♪ We're just fam
caught up in a crazy world ♪

-♪ Come on! ♪
-♪ It's Raven's Home ♪

-♪ We get loud! ♪
-♪ Yeah, Raven's Home ♪

♪ It's our crowd! ♪

♪ Might be tough,
but together ♪

♪ We make it look good ♪

♪ Down for each other
like family should ♪

-♪ It's Raven's Home ♪
-♪ When it's tough ♪

-♪ Yeah, Raven's Home ♪
-♪ We got love ♪

♪ 'Cause no matter the weather,
you know we gon' shine ♪

♪ There for each other,
you know it's our time ♪

[Raven laughs]

Yep! That's us.

[regal music playing]

Ah! This is so amazing.
[gasps]

Look, there's the London Eye.

[gasps] And there's
Piccadilly Circus.

[gasps deeply]

And there's Idris Elba.

Mom, not every Black man
in London is Idris Elba.

Yeah.

But one of 'em is.

Why can't we just
go to the hotel first?

I'm exhausted.

Oh, you should
have slept on the plane.

I would have,
but my seat was snoring.

[laughs]

Anyway, I planned our trip
down to the minute.

If we stay on schedule,

we'll be able to see everything
the city has to offer.

I'm trying to go
to 221B Baker Street.

Oh, not on the schedule.

But that's where
Sherlock Holmes lives.

He's my favorite character
of all time.

I thought your
favorite character

was the leprechaun
on the back of the cereal box.

I do enjoy
his word searches, but...

he's got nothing
on Sherlock Holmes.

I watched the entire series
on the flight over here.

I'm basically a detective now.

Ugh. What's that smell?

Oh, my first mystery.

Uh, Booker, it's fish and ch--

Fish and chips!

I solved it.

Mama...

it's fish and chips.

Gross. It smells
like a fish's armpit.

[cell phone buzzes]

[laughs] What is it?

Oh, this is my fun buzzer.
It's set to go off

we're running behind schedule.

[laughing] Fun, right?

Ah! Oh, dang it.

We were supposed to be
at Buckingham Palace

two minutes ago to meet Dad.

Why didn't you
just rent a car?

Hmm. Prince Booker
wants to "rent a car."

Alice wants a plane seat.
And what's next?

Both of y'all wanna sleep
in beds tonight?

Who's not sleeping in a bed?

Whichever one fits in a tub.

I know what you're thinking.

"Surely you can last four days

without your best friend here."

But I gotta be honest...

I don't think I can.

I mean, I've been having
one-sided conversations with strangers.

That's weird, right?

You're probably wondering,

"Why don't you
just hang out with Ivy?"

Hey, I'd love to,

but she's been on a cruise
for the past two months

performing with her
funk fusion band.

Yeah, it goes like...

[vocalizes, off-key]

Okay, you're gone too. Fine.

[horn honks]

[tires screech]

[cat yelps]

You know, if they took out
the massive hills,

mean drivers and feral cats,

San Francisco would be
a biker's paradise.

I think it's great that you've
taken up a hobby, Lazlo.

Oh, thanks.
You know, some days

I don't even think about
the fact that I forgot

where I parked my car
two months ago.

Do you want me
to go look for it?

Yeah, I'll scour the city.

I've got nothing else to do.

I am wide open, totally free.

Please give me something to do.

Actually, I could use your help.

I met some great cyclists
out there,

and I've been thinking,

The Chill Grill should do
a "Bikers Eat Free" day.

You know, give back
to the community.

You're just trying to impress
your bike buddies, aren't ya?

[scoffs] No, I'm trying
to get bike buddies.

Besides, all they ever eat
is salads and drink water.

So it'll cost the restaurant
practically nothing,

and I will never be alone again.

You mean you'll never
ride alone again?

Yes. That is what I meant.

Oh, look,
I-I already made some flyers.

Oh, I can put those up.

I may have mentioned
I've got nothing else to do.

Yay.

[regal music playing]

[gasps] Hey, Dad.

Hey. Hey!

It's so good to see you.
I missed you guys!

We missed you, too.

Sorry we're late.

[sighs] We had to wait for
Booker to solve the mystery

of what's the most
ridiculous hat in the world.

Spoiler alert,
it's the one he's wearing.

I will have you know,
this is the exact hat

worn by the great
Sherlock Holmes.

And the chap at the kiosk
I bought it from said,

I look quite fetching.

Honey, the only thing
he was fetching

was 50 pounds
out your wallet.

Alice, what do you think
about the palace?

Can you imagine growing up
in a place like this

with servants
tending to your every wish,

being pampered
beyond your wildest dreams?

Alice, hold my bag.

And leave the glamor
of my everyday life behind?

Hi, sir.

I was wondering, is this
the line for the crown jewels?

Hello?

Fuzzy hat,
I'm talking to you.

Raven!

That's the palace guard.

No matter what you do or say,
they cannot respond.

Ha-ha! Challenge accepted.

That's not a challenge.

Then why did I just accept it?

Hey, sir, I see your, uh,
your wig's on crooked.

Is mine on crooked?

You're good.

I'm telling you,
my powers of observation

are stronger than ever
since I bought this hat.

Nothing is getting by me.

Can I say, old chap, I can't seem
to find Duchess Clementine.

I'm afraid she's missing.

And I'm completely
freaking out about it.

Now all I need is a mystery.

[Alice gasps]

The missing duchess!

Sure, sure.

A missing duchess.
A lost dog.

I'm just starting out
as a detective.

I'll take any case.

Really, dude?

Anybody else would need
a stunt double for that, man.

In case you were wondering,

that guy who was
looking for you is gone.

CLEMENTINE [in English accent]:
Oye, jolly good of you to say so.

I've been trying to get away
from that beastly man

all afternoon.

Can I say, you look just like...

BOTH [in unison]: Me!

We're exactly the same.

Well, I mean, except for
the part where you're a duchess

and I flew here in the lap
of an aunt too cheap

to buy me a plane ticket.

I will admit,
the resemblance is uncanny.

Why are you hiding
under a table?

Ugh.
My dreadful nanny Rafferty

has me on
the most tiresome schedule.

First the royal hairdresser,
then the royal manicurist.

Then yet another dress fitting

before I have to attend
a royal party.

Are you bragging or complaining?

It's hard to tell.

Either way, it sounds
better than being dragged

to every tourist site
in the city.

I've been coming to London
my entire life

and I've never been
outside of the palace.

I would love to have your day.

I would love
to have your day.

Wait.

Can you do an American accent?

[in American accent]:
What's up, fam?

Smash that subscribe button.

Oh-h*-h*.

This is going to work.

Hey, have you guys seen Alice?

A missing Alice, you say?

The game is afoot.

What game?

Found her.

Dang it.
I didn't even get a chance

to use my giant
magnifying glass.

Alice, you can't
wander off like that.

We only have five minutes
to see the crown jewels

and then we have to hit
the Tower Bridge.

Oh. Brilliant.

I've always wanted
to see the Tower Bridge.

Oh.
I know what you're doing.

I see. You are acting like
you're excited to see the sights

so you don't get in trouble
for wandering off.

Smart! I like it.

And I like you,
my American family.

That's weird. Don't do that.
You're acting weird.

Don't do that.

Okay. Time to see the jewels.

[squeals]

There you are, Your Ladyship.

I've been searching
everywhere for you.

We must get you back
to the royal quarters.

You have a full day
of pampering ahead of you.

[in American accent]: What are
we standing around here waitin' for?

Uh, I mean...

[in English accent]:
By your leave, sir.

The flyers are up!

Anyone passing a telephone pole
from here to Oakland

will know that bikers eat free
at The Chill Grill.

Oh, that's great, Neil.

Oh, it's already working.

I'm gonna go prep some salads
for my new bike buddies.

[call bell dings]

Me and my bike buddies
are here for the free food,

and we hate salad!

Wow!

This room is...

Pitiful. I know.

Yes. Pitiful.

Definitely not the fanciest room
I've ever been in.

[laughs]

So, uh...
so I can just eat these cakes?

Good Lord, no.

We'll find someone
to feed them to you.

[laughs]
You gonna find someone

to chew them for me, too?

If Your Ladyship desires.

She does not.

Very good, ma'am.

I'll let the royal stylists know

you're ready for your makeover.

And Tasha, too.

Who's Tasha?

My doll.

Uh, that I just got
from the palace gift shop.

Which is why
you've never seen it before.

Probably best not to think
too hard about it.

Whatever you say, Your Ladyship.

[clears throat]

[in American accent]: Ooh,
that was close, right, Tasha?

You better keep quiet.

If they hear
that fake accent of yours,

we'll get busted for sure.

[giggles]

[in English accent]:
[sighs] Isn't it lovely?

Lovely?

I mean... [scoffs]

[in American accent]:
This bridge is bussin'.

For real, yo.

Ten more seconds, people.

It's so great
having you here, Alice.

I really missed you.

I missed you, too,
Grandfather.

Grandfather?

Five seconds!

Does something
seem weird about Alice?

I don't know.
I raised your mother.

I can't tell what's weird
and what isn't.

-[cell phone buzzes]
-That's the fun buzzer, everyone!

Smile, laugh,
and make memories.

Let's go.

That's your daughter.

♪ ♪

[sighs]
This is the life, eh, Tasha?

Apologies for interrupting,
Your Ladyship,

but it's time to choose a gown

for this afternoon's
festivities.

I get to wear one of these?

Get outta here! [laughs]

As you wish, ma'am.

Uh, no, Rafferty,
get back in here.

As you wish, ma'am.

Can I try one on?

You can try all of them on.

Great!

Let's do that.

So, what do you think?

I love it.

Tasha thinks it's too sparkly.

What about this one?

I love it.

Tasha says it's not
sparkly enough.

How about this?

I...

What does Lady Tasha think?

She loves it.

Then so do I.

Now, for the shoes.

So many shoes.

So few feet.

That tour of Big Ben
was scintillating.

Oh, it was scinti-llat-ing.
[laughs]

Wasn't that tour scintillating,
Booker? [chuckles]

You don't know what
that word means, do you?

Not a clue.

Hey, you guys hungry?

My favorite
fish and chips stand

is right around the corner.

[gasps] Fish and chips?
That sounds delightful.

This morning you said
it smelled like a fish's armpit.

That sounds nothing like me.

I would never stoop
to an utterance so pedestrian.

You know, that sounds
nothing like you.

Ma... Mom, we need to
talk about Alice.

-There is something--
-[cell phone buzzes]

Ah! Save it for the bus, Booker.
We gotta move.

We're already 15 seconds behind.

So, fish and chips for one?

Nope.
Fish and chips for none.

Let's go.

Uh, Laz... Lazlo?

I can't talk right now, Neil.
I'm in the weeds!

[sighs deeply] I can't believe how many
people are ordering lobster today.

I had to send Dave to
the pet store to get some more.

Hey, this'll more than make up
for all the free salads

the bikers are eating.

Uh, yeah, about that...

Look.

Wh...

Where did all these
bikers come from?

Your flyer, "Bikers Eat Free."

N... No. No, no.

My flyer said "Bikers Eat free,"
not "Bikers Eat Free."

Yeah, well, nobody
told the bikers that

because they think
they're eating free

just like the bikers.

Another round
of free lobsters!

[all cheering and whooping]

Oh, this is bad.

Oh, not for the bikers.
[clears throat]

I'm just gonna
say it, Tasha.

Ha, we look good.

Your Ladyship.

You're a vision.

[clears throat]

As are you, Miss Tasha.

And not a moment too soon.

It's time for your
next engagement.

I am not getting engaged.

Uh... Wait.

Is he a prince?

Is he cute?

Does he have a pony?

[laughs]

Oh, Duchess Clementine,

you are uncharacteristically
witty today.

I would stop that immediately.

It makes the king uncomfortable.

The king?

Yes.

You're having lunch
with him today.

I can't have lunch
with the king.

But we've been
preparing for this for months.

Practicing etiquette,
protocol, conversation topics.

It's like all of a sudden
you've forgotten

how to be Duchess Clementine.

What's that, Tasha?

You weren't saying
this was a bad idea

when you were
gettin' your nails done.

♪ ♪

[in English accent]:
So what's next on our schedule?

[in English accent]:
"Schedule"?

Don't you mean schedule?

Yes, I was pronouncing it
the English way.

[in English accent]:
You know, vitamin, tomato, yogurt.

I don't know
what you're saying,

but I love the way
you're saying it.

Next up, Westminster Abbey,

Abbey Road and-and Stonehenge!

Tourist traps.

Cramped, sticky bus.

Ugh. Is that gum under my seat?

I love this.

[gurgles]

I don't know
who that is, Grandpa,

but she is not Alice.

Ever since
we left Buckingham Palace,

she's not made
fun of me one time.

That is odd.

Especially in that hat.

Exactly.

Hey!

What are you two
whispering about?

Me and Grandpa think that Alice
isn't the Alice we brought.

We think that Alice
was grown here.

Probably in a lab
and swapped out for our Alice.

I don't think that.

Don't include me
in your crazy.

Booker, you have been watching
too much Sherlock Holmes.

You got mystery brain.

As the Americans say,

"Oh, snap."

So, Duchess Clementine,
how does your father do?

He does, except when he doesn't.

Huh. So don't we all?

Except when you do.

Ha, delightfully witty.

Not a fan.

Yeah, I'm not eating that.

But jellied eel
is your favorite.

The king had it made
at your request.

You sure I didn't request
any mac and cheese?

Please, Your Ladyship.

They're waiting for you
to take the first bite.

Okay. Okay.

What are you doing?
That's your salad fork.

That's your deli fork.

Fruit fork.

Oyster fork.

Shrimp shovel.

Cheese trowel.

Pudding spade.

What is happening here?

Okay, I'm using this one.

[squelches]

[sighs]

Mm.

[mouthful] Good stuff.

Mm.

Clementine, I understand you've
become quite the harpsichordist.

Um-um...

The Duchess is being modest,
Your Majesty.

The Harpsichord Guild
awarded her their top prize.

You won a Harpsi?

Two, actually.

Well, that settles it.

After lunch,

Duchess Clementine
will entertain us

with a concert.

[gulps]

Ugh.

What's that, Tasha?

Yes, I know
I can't play the harpsichord.

Stop pointing out the problem.
I need solutions, girl.

[inaudible]

Well, now the bikers got
the bikers eating lobster?

We need to tell the bikers
that the "Bikers Eat Free" deal

is just for the bikers.

Now, do you understand
why the flyer was confusing?

All we gotta do
is explain what happened.

And I'm sure once we do,

we'll just have
a good laugh about it.

-I'm sure we will.
-Yeah.

So why don't you go ahead
and tell them what happened

and we'll have that good laugh
I was just talking about.

Why's it gotta be me?

I wasn't the one who put up
confusing flyers all over town.

I wasn't the one who printed
the confusing flyers.

[clears throat]

Ah! Hello, Mister...

Snake.

Mr. Snake.
Such a lovely name.

Not scary at all.

Um, we seem to have
a little bit of a problem.

Oh, okay. The problem is...

you're outta butter.

Yeah, that's the problem.

So I will go
and get you some more butter.

So how'd it go?

-Oh, great.
-Really?

No! They're terrifying.

I'm telling you,
she's hiding something.

I just can't wait
to see Westminster Abbey.

So many historical dead people.
What a thrill.

Ugh. She's just having fun.

Yeah. Let it go.

Maybe Mom's right.

Maybe I just have mystery brain.

But how do I get rid of it?

Dang it! Another mystery.

[cell phone ringing]

Alice?

Don't answer that.

Hello.

Hey, Auntie Rae.

Uh, I got a problem.

Uh-uh.

No way.

Really?

Wow!

Okay.

Well, just give me a, uh,

just give me a quick second.

Real quick.

Rae, What's going on?

Remember that thing
Booker said

about Alice swapping places
with an identical stranger?

Uh-huh.

Turns out...
that's exactly what happened.

Are you saying
I'm a master detective?

No, I'm not saying that.
I am definitely not saying that.

But I am saying that we need
to get back to the palace

and rescue our cousin.

[brakes hiss]

If Alice is at the palace,
then who do we have?

Where'd fake Alice go?

I don't know where she went,
but I know who she was.

RAVEN:
Duchess Clementine?

We stole a duchess?

[imitating Sherlock Holmes]:
Correction, dear Mama.

We lost a duchess.

♪ ♪