01x02 - Goldfish

[bunniefuu]

- I see here that
the carnival of feet is
coming to town this weekend.

- Brak's so excited.
He's been buzzing
about it all week.

- Hey, everybody.

- Good morning, little pooper.

- Boy, I'm as happy
as a bag of wigs.

You know why?

- You found your real parents?

- What?

- Now, dear,
don't tease the boy.

- I thought it was funny.

You just don't
get it, that's all.

- Honey, go ahead and tell us
why you're as happy as the wig.

- Ok, mom.
[Music starts]

♪ Tomorrow is the day
of the carnival of feet ♪

♪ There'll be
feet there and feet ♪

♪ And don't forget the feet

♪ I'll be there if I'm
not somewhere else ♪

♪ At the one and only
carnival of feet ♪

Yeah!

- Don't forget, dear,
I told thunderclese

You'd take care of
his goldfish

While he's off exploding
the hoards of gar.

- But, mom, what about the
achilles heel of horror?

- Dear, it'll only
take a few minutes.

- But the haunting
of bunion manor!

- Oh, honey.

- What about the feet?

The feet, mommy!

I gotta have the feet!

The feet is something I need!

I gotta have the feet!

- Brak, no more of this.

You need to get
your feet off your head

And your pants to your ears,

And go help someone
who has no feet.

Because a footless animals
cannot walk over here

On their little non-footed areas
and tell us how hungry they are,

Now, can they?

I don't think they can.

[Boom]

Oh, goody. Zorak has arrived.

- Attention: lay down
your weapon.

- Screw you, pork chop.

[g*nf*re]

Yow!

- Brak, you'd better get going.
Thunderclese is expecting you.

- All right, I guess
I'll get goin' if goin'
is what I need to get.

[Birds chirping]

[Doorbell rings]

- State your name.

- Sausage mahoney.

- You are here for the
mr. Tickles briefing.

- That's what you told me,

Chief metalbottom.

Aaaahh!

Oomph!

Hey, can I ride that tube again?

I haven't had that much fun

Since I chased my hamster
all the way to st. Louis.

Have you heard that one?

- Silence!
- I'll save it for later.

- Follow me.

- Hey, what's that over there?

- The sword of slaughter.

- Oh, boy!
What's that over there?

- Cannon of fear.

- How about that?

- Missiles
of unmentionable terror.

- What's that?
Is that a beach ball?

- No, it is

The battle sphere of doom.

- What do you
think that thing is?

- That's a light switch.

- Uh-huh.

- Of total devastation!

- You don't say?

- And now, prepare for
the ripping sensation

Of mr. Tickles.

He is my one joy in life.

- Let me tell you about
the one joy in my life.

I like to take and fill
my pants up with pudding--

- Enough!

Here are his provisions.

You will feed
mr. Tickles twice daily--

Breakfast and
a light afternoon snack.

- 10-4, Good buddy.

- Feed him exactly

And be forewarned:




[Music begins]

- ♪ 3 Hams will k*ll him

♪ 3 Hams will k*ll him

♪ I shouldn't feed him

♪ 3 Hams

- Excellent.

Your mission
begins in the morning.

- I like the spandex
because it makes each...

Each behind muscle look like
a little small television.

- Hey, why are
you all still alive?

Oh, that's right,
it's only tuesday.

Ah, well, let's hit
the foot carnival.

- First I gotta take
care of some business
at thunderclese's house.

Now, what did thunderclese say I
was supposed to feed mr. Tickles
for breakfast?

I forget.

- ♪ 3 Hams will fill him

♪ 3 Hams will thrill him

♪ Why don't you feed him

♪ 3 Hams?

- Thank you, thought bubble.

Hey, zorak, do you think
mr. Tickles would like

A delicious 3-ham omelet?

- Piss off.

- Ok, one 3-ham omelet
coming up.

- Hey, look, a beach ball.

I think I'll just--

[Boom]

Aaah-ow-ow!
My eyes!

- How's this look?

- Awful.
Hunk it in there.

[Chewing, grunting]

- Moses-esus, look at him
work those hams.

Ham on, ham-eater.

[Burp]

He don't look so good.

- That's 'cause he's dead.

- What?

- Nice work, buddy.

- Oh, it was
the delicious breakfast!

[Yelling nonsense]

Mr. Tickles has been done in
by overwhelming deliciosity!

- Time to ditch the evidence.

Uh, where's the toilet?

- Let me tell you about
mr. Tickles.

When he wanted food, he would
swim up to the top of the water

And make that
"mbaw, mbaw, mbaw" noise.

He was a good, good eater.

He ate a little too much,
if you ask me, but he was--

[Toilet flushing]

Zorak, I wasn't finished.

- He was starting to stink.

It was gagging me.

- Look, he's coming back.

- We need to bust him up.

Stick your foot down there.

- What?

- Stick your foot down there

And stomp on him.

Oh, yeah.

- Aw, man.

[Gurgling]

- Hurry up.
We're missing the feet.

- I'm not goin'.

Not after this tragedy.

- If he makes
some pants out of chips,

Then he's got a party outfit,
I'm telling you this.

- Oh, hello, honey.
How was your day?

- Don't talk to me, mom.
I'm a m*rder*r.

- Oh, dear.

- I'm goin' to bed,

But I don't see how
I'll ever get to sleep.

[Snoring]

Man, I love sleeping.

I wish I could wake up so I
could go back to sleep again.

- Brak, wake up.

- Oh, mr. Tickles,

I'm sorry I hammed you to death.

- I forgive you, brak.

[Burp]

Mmm. Delicious.

- Mr. Tickles, how do you think
thunderclese is gonna take this?

- Oh, my god,
he'll tear your arms off.

- But I love my arms!

That's where my hands live!

- Don't worry. All is not lost.

There is another.

- Another what?
Another 3 hams?

- Don't tempt me.
Ha ha ha! Oh, just kidding.

No, I have a twin brother.

If you capture him
and place him in my tank,

Thunderclese will never
know the difference.

- Do you know how many
fish there are in the world?

What are the chances of me
catching your brother?

- Pretty good.
He lives in one fish lake.

- One fish lake?

Is that over by the airport?

- No.

If you hit the airport,
you've missed it.

- Got it.

Thanks for the tip, bub.

- Hey, wanna see
something really cool?

- I'm k--i'm kind of
in a hurry, man.

- Look, it's a shadow puppet.

Can you guess what it is?
It's a doggie.

I think he likes you.

Hey, where you going?

Bad doggie.
You scared him off.

- Boy, I tell you,
water sure is lucky.

There's two hydrogens
for every oxygen.

Hey, look, a house!

Well, hello, there.

Is your name
mr. Tickle's brother?

- I ain't nobody's brother.

I'm a loner.

- What about that mailbox?

- That ain't my mailbox.

Fella lived here
before me left it.

Some say he grew a beard
and still lives here,

But that's a damn lie.

- Well, that's just great.

Thanks for nothing,
don tickles, notary public!

So long, bearded stranger.

- Uh, hey,
hold on there, sonny.

You wanna see something
really cool?

♪ Hum dad-a hoomp duh-duh-duh

♪ Hum diddy hum diddy-da

♪ Hum diddle-de-dah,
hump-da-dee... ♪

- I'm gonna go talk to my dad.

He'll know what to do.

- How the hell do I know?

- Now, dear.

- All right, then, fine.

Brak, remember that
even though a man may have

More hairs on his head than
there are stars in the sky,

That does not mean that
he can plan a successful party

That movie stars will attend
and enjoy responsibly.

Don't you agree, mother?

- I wasn't listening.

- Sounds like somebody's
going to the movies.

I think it's me. Ha!

- What are we gonna see?

- "Hot dog in the mornin'."

This is the one where the little
hot dog finds his way home.

- Far out.

- Oh, look,
there's mr. Thunderclese.

How's it going?

- Where is mr. Tickles?!

- I don't know.

Oh, I don't know, either.

I--i'd say he's at the movies.

- Check the sewer.

- Why?

- Well, that's where things go
when you flush 'em.

Ha ha ha ha!
And we stomped him.

Ha ha ha ha!
And we busted him all up!

- Aaaahhh!

[Yelling nonsense]

- Mr. Tickles,
you've come back.

- I've come back, all right,

To stop you from destroying
these brilliant hamologists.

- I do not understand.

- Have you ever tried
one of their ham omelets?

They're to die for.

Die!

- Then I will spare them,

If that is your wish.

- Brak, what happened
to the plan?

You blew it, man.

- I know I blew it.

That's what I do!

But this time
I learned a lesson.

[Music starts]

♪ Food can be your friend

♪ Or food can be your foe

- ♪ But if you eat
too much of it ♪

- ♪ To heaven you will go

Hey, mr. Tickles,
what's heaven like?

- It's all loose women, hot
dance clubs, and latin music.

- Damn, that sounds great.

- It is great,
but you're not invited.

You're going to hell.

- Oh, I see.

- You can't be surprised.

- Nah, I guess not.

- And now, thunderclese,

You nurtured me
with loving care.

I was your
entire world, wasn't i?

- Yes, it is true.

- This is lame-a*s.

Well, it is.

Aaaahhh! Oww!

- As I was saying,
thunderclese, know this.

I will not abandon you,
my friend.

All you have to do is call
my name, and I'll be there.

I'll be there.

And I'll be there.

- Mr. Tickles.

Mr. Tickles!
- What?

- I need to hold--

- Not now.

[Latin music]

Work it, baby.

Bring it around town.

Yeah, me and you, baby.

You've got
a set of gills on you.

Has anybody ever told you that?

Watch it, now.