01x03 - Time Machine

[bunniefuu]

- Darling,
what is for dinner tonight?

- Oh, nothing.

- I hope that's a clever name
for something.

- You know what, hon?
I just didn't feel like cooking.

- Well, maybe I don't feel
like going to work tomorrow.

- You don't have a job, dear.

- Thank god your papa got money.

Ah! Fishpockets is holding
their annual salute to crabs.

Let's make a night
of it, darling.

Call the boys.

[High-pitched wail]

[Wailing]

- Bam! Bam!

- Oh, that's my head.

- Ooh! Aah!
- Eat it! Eat it! Eat it!

- Brak, get down here, I said.

- In a minute, mom.

- Ha ha ha!

- Well, what have you boys
been up to all weekend?

- We've been playing
headkicker.

- I've been playing.

You've been getting
a red-a*s beat-down.

Ha ha!

- Well, now get everybody's
fish-tasting mouths
into the vehicle.

We are all going
to fishpockets.

- Fishpockets?

♪ All of the wonders
of the sea ♪

♪ Will be served up hot to me

♪ Baked or broiled
or lightly breaded ♪

♪ Just the thought
makes me lightheaded ♪

♪ Can there be
a smarter thought ♪

♪ Than a bowl of tartar sauce?

♪ Fishpockets, here I come

- Hold on there, buster.
Have you finished your homework?

- Well, i--no.

- No homework, no fishpockets.

- Aah! Can't I do it
when I get back?

- You had your chance,
and you blew it.

Life is not
about the second chances.

It's about a little mouse

And his voyage
to an exciting new land.

That, my friend,
is what life is.

- But, dad, I'm a growing boy.
I need fish.

- Brak, let me tell you
a little story.

Long ago--

- Hey, can I go to the bathroom?

- Of course, dear.

[Footsteps]

- Ahem.

Long ago in the days
when the buttery lobster
walked the earth,

He was ruled
by the delicious crab.

- Oh, don't tell that story.
He'll have nightmares.

- No, I won't.

What happened to
the buttery lobster, dad, huh?

- He was strangled
by his own bib.

- Ohh, god...

- Many people suspected
the delicious crab...

- Ung...uhh...

- But he was nowhere
to be found...

- Whew.

- Unless that's him
right behind you!

- Oh, no!
- Look out!

- Aha! I fooled you again, boy.
Go change your pants.

- Zorak, I thought you were
going to the bathroom.

- I did.

- Oh, dear.

- This is probably
a good time to leave.

- Isn't there any way
I could come along?

- Of course there is, my son.
- Really?

- Simply do your homework...

Yesterday...

And you're all set.

- Wait a minute.
How can I do that?

- You can't!
I fool you again, boy!

Mother, we go.

Ha ha! Oh. Ohh.

[Door closes]

- You go ahead, then.
Eat on the poop deck.

Rub the magic clam.

Get your picture taken
with gary grouper.

See if I care...

Because I do.

- Eh, what's the big deal?
Fishpockets sucks.

Homework sucks.
Everything sucks.

- Hey, you should've done
your homework, too, bub.

One more "f," and you're going
right back to grandma prison.

- Zorak, time to scrub
my feet again.

- Ohhh.
- Scrub me, too, boy.

- Zorak!
- Zorak!

- Zorak!

- Ohh, I ain't going back there.

I can't.

- ♪ Well, you might as well
get ready ♪

♪ For a date
with grandma's feet ♪

♪ And I might as well
forget the crabs ♪

♪ That I was born to eat

♪ 'Cause we didn't
do our homework ♪

♪ For the love of pete

♪ If only we could
go back in time... ♪

- We need
a freaking time machine.

- Yeah. Like the one in
mr. Thundercleese's back yard.

- What?
- Of course, he's on vacation...

- Out of my way!

Ha ha! Taste defeat!

- And I got the key
in my pocket...

- Really?
- But it's my haunted pocket.

- When I bought these pants,
I found a note in there.

It said,
"inspected by number 47."

Number 47?

What about the other 46?

Were they not good enough
to inspect my pants?

- Just give me the damn key!

So here's what we do.
We go back to friday--

- And we make
a kite out of squirrels
and fly it to the moon.

- No.

We track ourselves down.

- Then what?

- We make our other selves
do the homework.

- Hey, zorak,
can I ask you a question?

- Yeah. What?

- Where are we gonna find
enough squirrels to make a kite?

- Are you really that stupid?

- Oh! I dare you
to say that again,

Only this time, say,
"brak, I love you."

- Let's go.

Look. There we are.

Check out the vest.

- Hello. My name is brak.

- Hello. My name is brak.

- I live in a house
down the street.

- I live in a house
down the street.

- I'm wearing clean underwear.

- You are not.

- You got me.

- Ha ha ha!
- Ha ha ha!

- Oh, hoo!

- So who are you guys?

- We're you from the future.

- Yeah? Well, what do you want?

- To tell you that you
have to do your homework
by sunday night.

- Now, why in the hell would i--

- Grandma prison.

[Women cackling]

- Ohh, I ain't going back there.

- You and me both, jack.

- Say, who does you hair?

- Oh, I usually go to paul
down at hairadise city.

- Oh, he's a dream.

- What are you guys gonna do
while we're doing homework?

- Probably play headkicker.

- Count me in.

- Hey, can we play, too?

- I should say so.
It's our game, isn't it?

- Hey, let's wash ourselves.

- Oh, yeah. Then we'll
be nice and clean when
we get to the future.

- Yeah, buddy.

- Yeah, buddy.

- Yeah, buddy.

- Yeah, buddy!

- Yeah, buddy!

- ♪ Yeah ha ha ha, buddy

♪ It don't matter
how you say it ♪

♪ Long as you say it,
but don't spray it ♪

♪ Yeah, buddy

- Let's go play.

- Bam! Bam!

- Oh, that's my head. Oh.
- Eat it.

[High-pitched wail]

- Oh, no!

This is the time where they talk
about going to fishpockets.

- Fishpockets? Let's eat.

- We can't.
We didn't do our homework.

- Man, all I got to hear is,

"Welcome to fishpockets, sir.
How many in your party?"

- I'd say, "just me."
- We're not going, brak!

- But I'm hungry.

- Time shed.
- Time shed.

[High-pitched wail]

- Oh, no!

[High-pitched wail]

Oh, no!

[High-pitched wail]

Oh, no!

- Wait a minute.
This ain't working.

Nobody's doing the homework.

- I haven't eaten in 25 days!

- Me, either!
- Somebody feed me!

- We're never gonna get
to fishpockets.

- I wish there was no such thing
as homework.

- We can arrange that.
- How?

- We need to go back...

To the day homework
was invented...

[Dramatic music]

And k*ll it.

- Yeah! k*ll it!
- Stop that crap in its tracks!

- Yeah!
- Yeah!
- Woo hoo!

- Yeah! Yeah!

- Ha ha! Yeah!
- Go, baby!

- Well, you guys aren't going.

- Oh, it's unfair.
- I don't care.

[Bird squawks]

- The microscope.

- The flying lawnmower.

- Penicillin.

- The golden shower head.

- The combustion engine.

- Behold...

The double beer hat.

Check it out.

- Marlon, what good is that?

- What are you talking about?

It's twice as good
as the beer hat.

- But, marlon,
I can't see the use--

- Get off my back!

- Who are you?

- Well, my name is brak,

And this big, green fella here,
his name is--

- I'll handle this.

[Booming voice]
we are the presidents
of the future.

- Ooh, good day to you,
mr. Presidents.

- Why have you come to us?

- One of your inventions
has destroyed the future.

People are suffering
and starving.

- Zorak, what's wrong
with your voice?

- Shut up. They're buying it.

- Do you need a lozenge?

- No. I'm good.

[Booming voice]
the streets are filled
with wickedness and filth.

- The fun is gone.
It's gone. It's out of here.

- It's bad, very bad!

- Asti spumante!

Which one of our inventions
has caused this misery?

- It goes by the name...

Homework.

[Dramatic music]

- I was just about
to invent that.

- See? I told you
that was a dumb idea,

But nobody listens to marlon.

He's just an old fool
with a beer hat.

- I don't see
how homework could--

- Listen to them, merlin.
They're from the damn future.

- Well, what can we do
to prevent all this suffering?

- You must uninvent homework.

[Dramatic music]

The presidents have spoken.

- How about that?
Meeting the presidents.

- We must destroy
all the inventions.

Who knows what damage
we've already done?

- Well, what have you boys
been up to all weekend?

- Well, I'll tell you one thing
we haven't been doing, mom--

Our homework.

[Dramatic music]

- Home...work.

[Dramatic music]

What is this "homework"
you speak of?

Mother, have you ever
heard of such a thing?

- Oh, I certainly haven't.
My goodness.

- Zorak, it worked.
- What worked?

- My stomach works, daddy.

Let's get to fishpockets.

- Fish pocket?
What are you talking about, son?

- I'm talking about fishpockets,
my favorite restaurant.

- Brak, your favorite restaurant

Has always been
lord wellington's beef trapeze.

- Really?
That sounds pretty good.

- I'm glad you see it
that way, son.

Life is too short
to worry about eating
and making kites from animals.

Better to use your time
for the schoolwork--

Only at the school, of course--

And maybe you'll grow up
to be someday

The president of the future,

Or you could be snatched up
by a gigantic terrible bird

And torn limb from the limb
on a lonely mountaintop.

Do you understand
what I'm saying, son?

- Yeah, buddy!
- Yeah, buddy!
- Yeah, buddy!

- ♪ Yeah, buddy

♪ Yeah, buddy

♪ Yeah, bu-bu-bu-bu-
bu-bu-bu-bu-buddy ♪

♪ Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

♪ Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
yeah yeah yeah ♪

♪ Bu-bu-bu-bu-
bu-bu-bu-bu ♪

♪ Buddy buddy buddy

♪ Yeah, buddy

♪ Yeah, buddy

♪ Yeah! Buddy!