01x04 - w*r Next Door

[bunniefuu]

- Hey, zorak.

Guess what I'm gonna be
at the talent show this year.

- A loser.
- Ehh! Wrong!

I'm gonna be a potato
and sing my amazing potato song.

- Ugh. I can't wait
not to hear it.

- What do you mean?
Aren't you gonna be there?

- Oh. I'll be there.
I'll be there.

[Screaming]

Hoo hoo haw ha!
Hoo hoo haw ha!

Hoo ha ha ha!

- Hot potato coming through!

- Burn! Burn!

- So then I get
a letter that says,

"Please stop sending
deviled eggs to the bishop."

- Maybe you need to change
your recipe, dear.

- My recipe is perfect!
The bishop is a fool.

[Doorbell rings]

I'll get it.
Who is it?

- It is i--cloneborg.

- Mother, do we know
a mr. I cloneborg?

- Well, now, let's see.

[Crash]

[Whirring]

- I have come to destroy you.

[Beeping]

Prepare to meet your doom,
thunderclese.

- Whoa! Whoa!
Hold on there, steely dan.

I am happy to report,
I am not thunderclese.

- He lives down the street
in the big black fortress.

[Beeping]

- Out the door and to the left.
You can't miss it.

- Except for that
you already did.

- Prepare to meet your doom,
thunderclese.

- Well, he seemed nice enough.

- Oh. Does someone have
a new boyfriend?

- Now, honey, all I said was--

- I may not have 17-inch claws,
but when I grip you,

You'll know that
you've been gripped!

- Good morning, mom.
Good morning, daah!

- Ha ha ha! You fell.

- Oh, now look.
That cloneborg left

A puddle of oil
on my kitchen floor.

- Cloneborg?
Did he k*ll anybody?

- No. He had the wrong address,

So we sent him over
to thunderclese's.

- Smackdown! Oh, yeah!

[Door shuts]

[Lasers fire]

[expl*si*n]

Aah!

Ohh.

- Zorak, are you all right?

- Yeah. I think i--

- Oh. Wait a minute.
I'll go get my jar.

- Again with the jar.
What are you doing,
building a monster?

Oh. That's right. You are.

How's that coming for you?

- Very nicely, thank you.

- Finally. Ech.
I was dying out there.

Hey, sweetcheeks,
get me a beer, will you?

- I have some root beer.

- Did I say root beer?

- Hey, zorak.
He sounds just like you.

- Yeah. I was just
noticing that.

- And you have
a beautiful man voice.

- What the hell is going on?

- Let me explain, kid.

The name's carmine.
That's right--carmine.

I've been living
in your throat for years.

When you took that shot
to the neck just now,

It shook me loose.

- Well, this sucks.
Pass that jar over.

I'm gonna swallow that lump
to get my voice back.

- That would be
a big mistake, jack.

I can make you rich,
and I mean stupid rich.

- I'm listening.

That new voice of yours
is a gold mine.

That's right,
a mine full of gold.

Go on. Try it out.
Why don't you sing a few bars?

- Why don't you bite me?

- Let me tell you
a little story.

Who's your favorite singer?

- Notorious fluffy g.

- That's right, he is,
but when I met him,

He was a hairball living
in a fat man's pocket.

- Wow.

- Then I taught him
everything I know,

And today,
he and his multimillions

Live in the biggest mansion
in mansionland.

- And you did all this living
in zorak's throat?

- Butt out, gramps.
I'm talking about mansionland!

- Mansionland. Hmm.

- Go ahead and sing
something, zorak.

- Of course, it won't be
as good as me,

But then, who is?

- I don't know what to sing.

- Just sing what's
in your heart, dear.

- All right. You asked for it.

♪ My heart is full
of hatred and loathing ♪

♪ For your ugly faces
and stupid, stupid clothing ♪

- Oh, zorak, that was beautiful.

- If my ears could talk,
they would say,

"Thank you, zorak.
You have enriched us both."

- I didn't think
it was so great.

- I mean, where were
the costumes?

Where were the flash pots?
Where was the dry ice fog?

- Whoa! Do I smell
the stink of jealousy?

[Fart]

- Zorak, why don't you
sing that song

Tonight at the talent show?

You'd be certain to win
first prize.

- Don't you mean
second prize, mom?

- Of course, dear.

You're going to win.

- The broad's right, kid.

Come on. Let's go
work up a number.

- Yeah, zorak. You go off
with your new friend carmine,

But I'll see you tonight
at the talent show,

And when I say see you,
I mean see you, buddy,

Because potatoes have
quite a number of eyes!

Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah!

[Doorbell rings]

Well, I wonder who
that could be.

- It is i--cloneborg two.

I have come to avenge
the death of--

[Beeping]

Cloneborg.

- Ay con flautas.
Not again.

- ♪ Oh, I'm a jolly spud,
and people call me bud ♪

♪ I live down in the mud

♪ With all the other tubers

[Scattered applause]

Top that, gentlemen.

- All right, kid.

Get out there and wash
the stink out of their heads.

[Microphone feedback]

- ♪ I want to kick your a*s
until your head falls off ♪

♪ Then I'll kick your head
and kick your a*s again ♪

♪ Why? I don't think
it's learned its lesson ♪

♪ Open the door, sucker

♪ It's zorak
here to kick your a*s ♪

[Cheering and applause]

You're an ugly audience,
and I hate you all.

- And the winner is zorak!

- I'm not kidding.
You make me sick.

- Save some for later, kid.
Money!

- You got to be kidding me!

My potato song has won
this contest every year.

This is an outrage.

- Look, zorak. He's gonna cry.

- Yeah. Why doesn't he
go cry to his mommy?

- That's exactly what
I intend to do

Right after I tell you
that we're officially...

[Gasps]

Broken up!

- Well, baby,
the sweetbread's in the oven,

And the sun's coming up
on the cabbage farm.

- What does that mean?

- Uh, never mind. Let's go.

I got you booked solid
for the next 3 weeks!

- What a night!

[Train whistle blows]

- Money!

- I'm rich!

- Hey. I got another routine
to try on you guys, ok?

- Brak, this has been
going on for weeks.

[expl*si*n]

I can't take it anymore.

- Now, father. Go ahead, brak.
Sing us your little song.

- ♪ I'm hot for you, baby,
I'm a big old beet ♪

♪ I'm red but not embarrassed,
and I am good with meat ♪

♪ Of course, I make
an excellent borscht ♪

♪ And I'm hot for you, baby

- Well, you're no zorak.

- Aw, man. I give up.

- Honey, maybe people just don't
want their vegetables to sing.

- Or maybe what you're doing
is just no good.

- You keep at it, brakley.

I know you'll come up
with something wonderful.

- You know it, baby!

- I thought we agreed
to stop encouraging him.

[Doorbell rings]

Mother, did you put the sign up
like I told you?

- Oh, dear. I forgot.

[Beeping]

- I am cloneborg 167.

[Beeping]

I have come to--

- That's nice.
Down the street on the left.

- ♪ Like I said,
I hate you jerks ♪

♪ What a bunch of stupid jerks

♪ I'll smack you up
and stomp you down ♪

♪ Stomp you back to uglytown

♪ Or maybe I'll kick
your fat a*s ♪

[Cheering and applause]

That's all you get, morons.
Now go to hell.

[Cheering and applause continue]

- Hey, no, no, no!

- I just don't get it.

- What's up your sh**t?

- I tell them how much
I hate them,

And they love me for it.

- Eh, so what if you're
making the poor slobs happy?

- I hate it, that's what.

I liked it a lot better when
I was making them miserable.

- Yeah, but the money's
good, right?

- What money?
You haven't paid me yet.

- That's because we're broke,
honey baby,

And I ain't cooking the books,
if that's what you think.

- What happened?
We must have made a fortune.

- Yeah, but that was
before taxes.

Then the market tanked,
and the ex-wife came
climbing up my pole again.

But don't worry, big daddy.
We'll make more money.

- No, we won't, because I quit.

Now give me my voice back.

- Ha! Sorry, junior,

But I've had a taste
of the good life,

And there ain't no way
I'm going back to clowntown.

So long, sucker.
Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

- Uh, where's my lunch?

- Oh, look who's here--

Mr. Wins the talent show,
deserts his best friend
to be a famous singer

Only to find that he's
unhappy making people happy...

[Inhales]

And not getting paid,
so he quits the music business

And comes back begging
for my forgiveness,

Which I will happily give.

I love you, zorak!

- Stay away from me.

- Ok. That's settled.

Now we need to get
your voice back.

Where's carmine?

- Damned if I know.

- According to this, he has
used zorak's money to purchase

The most splendid mansion
in mansionland.

- He said we were broke.

- No. It says here
that was a lie.

- Come on, buddy.
We're heading for mansionland.

It's time to put
a lump in your throat.

[Doorbell rings]

- Thunderclese does not
live here!

- I know where he lives.
I'd rather not go down there.

I don't want to die.

- Ah. Let me get you
a deviled egg.

[Classical music playing]

[Knock on door]

- Yeah. What can I
do you for, chief?

- Greetings.
I have recently been told

That I have
a beautiful man voice.

I am currently
looking for someone

Who can make me
a successful singer
on the stage.

- Well, you've come
to the right place.

That voice of yours
is money in the bank.

That's right,
a bank full of money.

- I certainly hope I won't
have to shave off

My handsome mustache
and derby hat.

- Are you kidding?
Don't touch it. Come on in.

- Get him, zorak!
- Don't touch the lid!

- Ohh! That's it!
Watch out! Get him!

Ohh! Grab him!

- Aah!

[Gulp]

- Welcome home, jackass.

- Zorak, you got
your voice back.

We did it!

Boy, I'm sure happy
that we're friends again.

- Get lost!

- Ohh! Great to have
you back, buddy!

My nose is bleeding.

- ♪ You're nothing but a fool
stepping up on me ♪

♪ Because I'm the one and only
notorious fluffy g ♪

♪ And when I see your girlie
walking down the street ♪

- ♪ How you get so fluffy?

- ♪ What she says to me

- ♪ How you get so fluffy?

- ♪ Oh, yeah

- ♪ How you get so fluffy?

- ♪ Ha ha! Ha ha!

- ♪ How you get so fluffy?

- ♪ Look how fluff I be

- ♪ How you get so fluffy?

- ♪ Straight up fluffy, see