03x04 - Splat

[bunniefuu]

- Mother, since when did you
like gory movies like that?

I've never seen so much blood.

- You just didn't get it.
- Get what?

- That man was
an unlicensed physician.

He had no right to mutilate
that scout troop like that.

They just wanted to hide
in their cardboard boxes
and drink cough syrup.

Was that any reason
to bleed them dry?

- That's what made it funny.

- And did you have to laugh
so loud during the bleedings?

Even the woman
with the crying baby
asked you to keep quiet.

- I swear, I wanted to rip
that brat out of her arms

And beat her with it.

- What's come over you
lately, mother?

You're acting very peculiar.

- Watch out!
- Huh? What? ¡ay!

- Uhh...uh!

- That never happened.
- Sure, it did.

- Let's go see what we hit.

- It was probably just a skunk.

- It didn't crunch
like a skunk.

Hey, maybe it's still alive
and we'll get to snap its neck.

- But, mother--
- come on. It'll be fun.

- ¡ay, madre de dios!
It's zorak!

- It was zorak.

Heh heh. He's dead, all right.

- I hated zorak all my life,

But now that he's dead,
I hate him even more

Because as an unregistered alien

Without proper
driving credentials,

I'll go to jail for k*lling
this piece of crap.

- Nobody is going to jail.

We just need to mop up a bit.

You cut his hands off.
I'll do the head.

No prints, no dental,
no problem.

- But these are
my dating clothes, baby.

I don't want to get zorak
all over my new chinos.

Come on.

- All right.
I'll handle it. Get in the car.

- So what did you do
with the body?

- What body? My body?

It's in the trunk, chap.

Ha ha ha ha!

Can I sleep in your bed
tonight, dad?

- Uh, ha ha ha.

Yeah. That's funny, darling.

Heh.

- I love you.

- Yes, and I love you, too,
bleeding head of zorak.

- Then kiss me.

- Oh, do I have to?

- Kiss my bleeding beak!

- ♪ I'm in a happy place
- kiss it! Kiss it!

- ♪ I'm in a happy place

Mmm. Oh. Mmm.

You know,
I have to admit, mother,

I wasn't on board with this
whole m*rder thing at first,

But this green chicken
is frigging sweet.

- It's not chicken.

- I know what it is,
but I prefer not to dwell on it.

Mmm. Mmm. Damn!

Who would've thought
such a tough little runt

Would be so tender
and delectable?

Brak is gonna love this.

- Brak can't know about this.
He'll rat us out.

- Yes. If anybody
could find a problem
with eating his best friend,

It would be brak.

He's so a**l.

- ♪ Who got the butt?
I got the butt ♪

♪ Brak got the butt?
That's right, that's right ♪

♪ Let it work, little brother,
let it work ♪

♪ Huh ah, ooh ooh ooh ah

Yeah.

- Good morning, son.
Who the hell are you?

- Yes. How the hell are you?

- Oh, I'm all right.

So tell me...

♪ Who got the butt?

- ♪ Brak got the butt
- ♪ brak got the butt

- ♪ Say it again, y'all

- Mm, I don't think so.
- Ok. That's cool.

Hey, did zorak come by yet?

He's gonna lend me
some of his magazines,

Make a man out of me.

- Well, we haven't seen him,
have we, father?

- Mmm! Mm mm mm.
- Have we, father?

- Uh-uh.

- Now sit down
and eat your breakfast.

[Sniff]

- Wow. This smells familiar.
What is it?

- Mm.

Take a bite. It's good stuff.

- Armph. Mm mm.

Oh, sweet lord, this is awesome!

- Would you like
to suck a bone, honey?

- Would i!
- I saved you a big, juicy one.

- There you go.
That's a good boy.

- Armph. Mmph. All gone.

- There. Now he's an accomplice.

- I am? Oh, boy.

I'm gonna go find zorak
and tell him.

Here. You can wear these
new shoes I bought for you.

- They're from
the land of france, son,

Where they eat horses.

Thanks for the new kicks, mom.
To the outside!

♪ Uh uh, uh uh uh

♪ Who got the shoes?
Brak got the shoes ♪

♪ Watch 'em work,
little brother ♪

♪ Prrump tum pa tum

♪ A-dum pa dum pa dum tum

♪ Ta da da dum,
ta da da dum ♪

♪ Tum da da da dum

Yeah!

- Oh, hey, wondercheese.
Have you seen zorak?

- No. Why are you wearing
bones on your feet?

- Bones? Is that how you refer
to fine french footlery?

If so, then I scoff
at your location.

A-ha! A-ha ha ha!

A-ha!

- I've never worn shoes.
How do they feel?

- Like I'm 62 inches
of bone-stomping machismo,

And, brother, that's a feeling
that smells like success.

- I must have shoes!

To france!

- Have a good time, buddy.

[Accordion playing]

- France rules!

- More zorak, please.

Another eyeball?

How many did this joker have?

I feel like I ate 10 already.

What are you looking at,
dead eye?

Mmm.

[Telephone rings]

- Hello?

Yes. This is mom.

Police?

Questions about what?

Well, I don't know
how that can be.

He's sitting right here.

No. I'm not lying.

Fine. Come see for yourself.

Donkey's a*s.

- What's wrong, mother?

- The police
are on their way over,

And they expect to see zorak.

- But zorak is dead.

Holy crap, mother.
You did a great job.

Even I believe I'm zorak.

[Imitating zorak] hey, toots,
you ever knock boots with
the big, green bug man?

Because I got the boots.

- Good day, ma'am.
- You see, constable?

- There's zorak
right over there.

- Hello, everybody. I hate you.
Heh heh heh.

- Give it up, sir.
You're not zorak.

You're just a spray-painted
dwarf in hot pants.

- Zorak, he lives. Ha ha ha!
- Ok, ma'am.

- I think I better have
a look at your car.

It matches the description
a witness gave us.

- Witness?

- Fat kid, purple,
kind of a sissy.

- Clarence?
- That's the guy.

- Now let's see that car.

- I'm afraid you'll need
a warrant for that, porky.

- That hurt. It really did.

So I'll be back
with that warrant.

Yeah.

[Door closes]

- He bought it, mother.

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!

- You idiot.

When he gets back
with that warrant,
we're screwed.

Do you know how they treat
tiny men like you in prison?

¡ay ay ay!

¡ayyyy
ayyyy!

What are we gonna do?

- We're going to revive zorak.

I know a bloke
that owes me a favor.

Now grab that last fillet
and let's go.

[Bird squawks]

- 'Sup, dogs?

Welcome to spring break
at p.c. Beach.

Y'all ready to party? Huh?

- We're not here to party.

- Well, that's too bad
because marlon loves
a feisty chickie baby

Who knows how to lay it down
daytona style.

Woof woof woof woof!

A-whoooo!

- I'm down with that, dude.

- What are you folks drinking?
Buttery nipple? Hurricane?

How about sex on the beach?

Sex on the beach. Yeah. Yeah!

- Do it. Ooh.
- We don't want
sex on the beach.

- We want you to take
this hunk of meat

And bring it back to life.

Can you do it?

- I've got a hunk of meat
I've been trying to bring
back to life for years.

It's right over there, man.

[Buzzing]

But this one
is a little fresher,

So hell yeah, I can do it.

Mooswa!

- Aah. Goo goo goo goo.

- You can't be serious.

- That's right, I can't...

Because it's spring break!

Put a roll in your freaky soul.

♪ A-bop bop ba dee ah da bop

♪ Boom

- Get it right, or I'll grind
your oysters into pixie dust.

- Dude, your old lady
is kind of a buzzkill.

- Are you happy, mother?
You've k*lled the man's buzz.

- Shut up. We're leaving.

Get to work, infidel.

- Don't worry.
I'll drop him by later
good as new.

- Do not disappoint me.

- Oh, yes, ma'am.
I'll get right to work,

Fricking sl*ve-driving
hag wagon,

But first,
I need a few skinny minutes

In ye olde sensation chamber.

Party time! A-whoooo!

Sweet jamaican vapors,
set me free.

- Zorak! Zorak!

Here, buddy, buddy, buddy,
buddy, buddy!

- I'm warm and safe,
safe and warm.

Don't hit me. No cars!

No cars, no cars, no cars.

- Clarence?
- Oh, hello, brak.

- I'm dressing up
like mommy today.

Ehh, goo goo.

- You ok, clarence?

- No, not really.

I saw something
very disturbing last night,

So I decided to seek comfort
in mommy's sundress and bonnet.

I feel so good now, so safe.

- Oh, that's nice.
Have you seen zorak?

- Zorak? Aaaaah!

- Because I was gonna show him
my new shoes!

- Aaaaaah!

- Clarence, is there something
you want to tell me?

- Yeah.
It all started last night.

You see, we were out grabbing
a club salad.

Have you ever been
to salad city?

- Mom, clarence just told me
that you and dad k*lled--

Zorak! You're alive!

- I'm not exactly sure if that's
really who you think it is.

- Hello, clarence.
How's our little witness today?

- Uh, ha ha ha. Fine.

What are you gonna do to me?

- Oh, nothing, dear.

I just wanted to show you
the basement,

Where we keep
all the special candy.

- Hmm. I sense danger...

But I'm awfully tempted
by the special candy.

Hmm. I sense danger,

But I'm awfully tempted
by the special candy.

- Then let's go visit
the special candy.

It's calling you.

♪ Clarence, clarence

- It is calling me.
Lead the way.

- ♪ La la la
- ♪ la la la la

- ♪ La la--
hey, that's not candy.

Aaah! Aah!

Gosh, that hurts.

[Power tools whirring]

Eeeh! Aaaaaah!

[Sawing]

Don't cut me.
I won't say anything.

- So what do you think
of my new shoes?

- [Imitating zorak]
I think they look like crap,

Just like you, you big jackass.
Ha ha ha!

- Where's that candy
you promised?

Aah! What are you do--

[g*nsh*t]

[Footsteps]

[Door slams]

- Anyone for sausages?

They're fresh.

[Door opens and closes]

- ♪ I'm back

- Wow! I got two moms now,

One for every day of the week.

- Oh, no, honey.

Brenda here is just a look-alike
I hired to take care of you boys

While I was on holiday
at the beach.

How did it go, brenda?

- [c*ck accent] nothing
out of the ordinary, missis.

Pretty boring, really.

- Should I even ask why
clarence's head is on a platter

And my husband is painted green?

- Husband? Huh?

- Kick out the jams,
beaver squeezers,

And say hello to the new
miss p.c. Beach.

- Ha ha ha!

- Damn!

- Damn!
- Damn!

- Damn!
- Damn!

- Damn!

- Huh! Who got the butt?

- Woof woof woof woof!
A-whoooo!