03x07 - All That I Desire You

[bunniefuu]

- It is the eve of mom's
marriage to zorak.

We listen now as dad says...
- Mother, I don't understand

How you can go through
with this wedding.

What is this hold
zorak has over you?

I must find a way to break it.

- I've tried, dad, but zorak
is as ruthless as he is clever.

- But we're already married.
I love you, baby.

And I think you love me?
- Of course, I do, dad.

I wish I could tell you the
truth and make you understand.

Perhaps you should ask
your wife cynthia.

- Wife in name only.

- Call cynthia
anything you please.

She still holds the legal
strings to your heart.

- Not for long.

Tonight my heart will be
on a plane bound for mexico,

Where cynthia is flying
to divorce me,

Which will sever
her legal strings

And send my heart
snapping back to you.

[Doorbell rings]
- that's zorak now.

He told me he will be stopping
by, and that's what he's done.

- Well, I've got to go
get dressed for work.

- Well, hello.
- Do you have the photographs?

- Yes, I have them, my lovely.
They're really quite delectable.

- I want those pictures, zorak.
And I'll do anything to--

- Anything?
- But that!

- Ah! Understand this:
I want you, mom,

And I'll use every trick
in the book to get you.

Could there be fairer
warning than that?

[Laughs evilly]

- Mother, I am heartbroken.
Fate has thrust its sticky face

Into the dreamland
of my inner being

And wrestled hopefulness
from its grasp.

Will I always be
the king of pain?

- Funny, isn't it, how I don't
care about what you just said.

Heh, it's funny. Heh heh.
- Zorak, I wasn't--

- Funny!
[Evil laughter]

- Talking to you.

- Brak, you're back
from art school in boston.

Shouldn't you be sculpting
for midterms?

- There's no such place
as boston, mother. Not for me.

For that is where connie gainway
of the gainway gainways

Stole my heart,
and where her father,

Billionaire father
drake gainway,
stole my connie gainway

By forbidding her
to wed the lowly son

Of a lowly worm farmer--
i.e. My dad.

- Lowly?
[Brak crying]

Yes, I am a farmer of worms
and proud of it.

This country was built
on the backs of worms.

And drake gainway of all people
should know that.

Years ago he came to me and
cried, "give me worms, dad."

So worms is what I gave him.

And gainway went on
to make billions.

Does anybody know how?
Because I don't.

- What a story!
I am of two braks now.

One who grieves the loss
of his connie gainway,

Another fueled by
the inspirational rush

Of red-hot orange juice.

I must capture dad's
song in clay.

To boston!

- Sculpt a good one,
tiny sculptor.

♪ Sculpt some headlights
on a lady ♪

- Hey, how about you blow?

I've got personal business
with the missis here.

- Zorak, if you touch her...
- Oh, there will be touching.

Now get to digging, worm boy!

- Go ahead, dear, tend to
your worms. I'll be fine.

- You better be
better than fine.

Now grease up
and get in the sink.

- Ok, well, I'll be right
out back if you need me.

[Door slams]
- greetings all.

It is i, famous concert pianist
clarence von chunkerling

Today I'm performing
my masterpiece,

"The manly boy of canterville."

[Music playing
and woman vocalizing]

- Then guess
what's gonna happen.

- You're gonna get hit flush in
the face with a painmaster k-47

Hollow-nosed, armor-piercing
shoulder rocket.

- Not in the house.
- Clarence, let's go outside.

- The hell I will.
I'm not stupid.

I'm getting married.
- Really?

- Yes. Following
this evening's recital,

My piano mentor cynthia and I
shall fly to mexico,

Where she, after divorcing
her current husband,

Will surrender
her forbidden treasures

To my flower storm
of teenage passion.

- Clarence, cynthia has to be
twice your age.

Plus, you're a minor.

- Mind this, a*s butt.

- [Screams]
I need to get this looked at!

- Well, it's always nice to see
what clarence has on his mind.

Ha, rubba-ding. Heh heh!
All right, get on that table.

This postman only rings once.
[Door slams]

- I've discovered oil!
- The deuce, you say?

- Come see for yourself.
You see, it's oil.

We're rich!

- Now brak will be able
to marry connie gainway.

- Yes, but we mustn't
let cynthia know

Before the divorce is final.
She'll want half of my fortune.

[Numbers dialing]
- cynthia, how you doing?

Hey, there's something
you ought to know--
- not another word,

You wife-stealing butt a*s,
or you'll eat hot stinking lead!

- Put down the popgun, pop,
and let the big tube speak.

[Mom screams]

- Mother, are you all right?
- I can't see.

I'm blind!

- Way to go, zorak. Your stupid
bazooka ignited the oil gusher

And blew up wife's eyes.
- You started it.

- No, I didn't.
- Yes, you did.

- Mother, who started it?
- Who cares who started it.

I'll never see again.
- Yes, you will, my darling.

For I vow to devote my life
and fortune to becoming

A brilliant surgical doctor,

Who'll restore your eyes to
their pre-expl*si*n condition.

- She's gonna be my wife.
I'm doing the surgery.

- How about this: the first one
to become an eye doctor

Does the surgery?
- Deal.

- Deal.
- Well, ok.

- Fine.
- All right, then.

- How about if you just take me
to the doctor now--

- Stay out of this, mother!
This is between zorak and me.

- We will return to
"all that I desire you"

After these messages.

And now, back to
"all that I desire you."

- Dad is now a wealthy
oil baron. Yee-ha!

It's great to be rich.

- How are things going with
your medical degree, dear?

I'm really not enjoying
being blind.

- You know what's worse
than being blind?

Hearing you whine about it
all the time.

Medical school is
hard work, mother.

I'll do it when they make
a video game out of it.

Something that's fun for me.
- Well, I'm going to the doctor.

- Yeah, how you going
to do that? [Laughs]

- Well, who is this gentleman
entering the room?

Why, it's brak gainway,
the wealthy husband of

Billionairess connie gainway.

- Is that brak, my son, my boy?
Where are you, my sweetheart?

- Right here, mom.
So you're still blind, huh?

- Yes. I live in a world
of shadows.

Eternal night.
- Yeah, yeah.

So, son, how's married life?
How are you hitting them?

- Bad news from gainway manor,
dad. Devastating, really.

Connie gainway's father, drake
gainway, whom I've never met

But have somehow grown
to love dearly,

Has developed a gigantic
brain tumor on his head.

He needs an operation
immediately.

- So do i!
- Clarence, is that you?

I'm blind, you know.
- Holy mother of pearl,

Give it a rest already!

Well, I'm going to buy
the dallas cowboys.

I'll be right back.

- What happened to
your hands, clarence,

Your beautiful world-famous
pianist hands?

- Is quite a story, really.

As you know, cynthia and I
traveled to mexico

So she could divorce your father
and marry me.

At the reception,
zorak burst in and smashed

My frolicking fingers
with a korean riot baton.

To my horror, he then married
cynthia and whisked her away.

Why should I be subjected
to that level of cruelty?

Can anyone tell me?

- Because life is cheap,

Clarence.

Your life at least.
Hah!

- [Gasps] zorak, you're white!
- It's dr. Zorak.

And hell, yeah, I'm white.

How else was I going to get
into a decent medical school?

- So, zorak, how is
my precious cynthia?

- Oh, not good.

She picked up
a little flesh-eating std

On our honeymoon.
You want to say hi?

She's out in the van.
- Really?

- Yeah, but don't get too close.
She's--she's oozing pretty good.

- Is she going to die?
- Oh, yeah.

- But you're a doctor.
Can't you save her?

- Save her? I can't even
stand to smell her.

- Zorak, have you come to--
- restore your sight?

Nah, sorry, babe. You'll need
an eye doctor for that.

I'm a breast man.
- How about my--

- Father-in-law, reclusive
billionaire drake gainway?

- Yes. He has a brain tumor.
- I told you, I'm a breast man.

You want to jack his boobs up,
fine. I'm the guy.

- But, zorak, drake gainway is--
- my father.

My name is grant gainway.

Drake gainway is indeed
my father.

And your father,
and your father.

- What are you talking about?

- Drake gainway sired
two legitimate children,

Connie and myself,
with his first wife, my mother,

A woman he despised.

He also fathered
two unidentical twins

With the only woman
he ever truly loved,

His mistress cynthia.

To avoid scandal, both children
were left on a park bench

With an enormous bouquet
of balloons.

One of them, clarence, was taken
in by a family of circus bears.

The other child, zorak, was
mistaken for a bag of cat guts

And thrown in the river,
never to be seen again.

Until now.

Because I see him
right over there.

- Cynthia is my mother?
But, I married her.

- So did i.
- So did i.

- My god,
father, it's you!

- His name's not father.

It's dad.

- His name is drake gainway.

- It is?
- I don't understand.

I'm blind!

- He's obviously been living
a double life.

- I have?

- Yes, as drake gainway,

Billionaire industrialist.

- Who knew?

- And as dad.
Lowly worm farmer,

Recently become
rich millionaire oil baron.

- So I'm a millionaire
and a billionaire?

That is friggin' awesome!
- It's not, it's terrible!

Drake gainway is dying from
a gigantic brain tumor!

- [Laughs] I was wondering
what the hell that was.

- Are you telling me that you,
me, clarence, brak--

Anybody else?
- How about connie?

- Right. And connie
are all dad's children?

- Exactly.
- Hmm.

I guess I've got it going on.

- Zorak, I don't care
if you are a breast man,

You have to perform
these surgeries now.

You'll be saving dad aka
drake gainway, your father,

And clarence,
your successful pianist brother,

And cynthia wife and mother
to you and clarence

And wife only to dad
and drake gainway.

- What about me?
I'm blind.

- Boston is beantown,
you know.

- Brain tumor!

- Ugh. All right,
what the hell, I'll do it.

Somebody scrub me, and I'll
need a drink, a triple, stat!

Gentlemen, behold!

The operations was a success.

- I think mine are the firmest.

- Who needs the piano
when I got these babies?

- I don't know how
I got involved in this.

I wasn't even sick.
- All right, kiddies,

Let's shake them!