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08x01 - Baffler Meal

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Space Ghost Coast to Coast". Aired: May 30, 2006 – May 31, 2008.*
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Uses a subverted talk show format hosted by Space Ghost as he interviews live-action guest stars, whom Space Ghost believes to be fellow superheroes, appearing on a monitor beside Space Ghost's desk.

08x01 - Baffler Meal

Post by bunniefuu »

Ugga-bugga!

Zorak, take off the mask.

What mask?

You know what mask I'm talking about.

No, I don't.

Yes, you do. You're wearing it right now.

No, I'm not.

Come back here, you godforsaken mantis!

You do have a mask!

Shake power activate.

All right. Um, Mr. Shake is here.

Master shake.

Master is my name, master shake.

Master is my name, and thirst is what I tame.

What is that, and what's it doin' here?

I am dethirstifying the perimeter.

Uh, yeah, zorak, obviously.

Aquateen hunger force, assemble!

Frylock, the hunger hater tater.

Meatwad, ball of compressed meat.

The bun is in your mind.

Aquateen hunger force.

The bun is in your mind.

Meatwad, stand down!

- But it is.

- It's in your mind.

What's with the stupid food puppets?

Zorak, they're a delicious meal from burger trench.

- Burger trench?

- I found a bone in my shake there.

- Mm-mmm.

- No. No, man.

It was human.

Ohhh!

Yeah. My dipping sauce had ticks in it.

The mantis mocks our mission.

We battle hunger with nutritious salt- and oil-based weapons.

Yeah, zorak, that's what they do.

And that's what you do from now on.

Um, sure, man, whatever.

- Not whatever.

- Forever!

- Not whatever.

- Forever!

Just get down from my desk, ok?

Frylock, cast your potato magic!

I sense hungry teens.

Could you get off that amulet, please?

I need to sense hungry teens with it.

I'm butterin' it.

With your foot on it, it's really messin' me up.

With foot sweat.

Please get off of it!

Uh, zorak, get off the man's thing.

Frylock, unsheathe your edible blade.

Stand aside, insect, or I shall

strike you down with my battered wedge

forged in corn oil.

Gimme that.

That's my sword!

Then we have ourselves a tasty little problem, then, don't we?

Don't we!?

Ok. Zorak, we're all a team now.

An aquateen.

- And there's no "I"

- In team.

Uh, but there is an "a" in team.

Right, which means, probably, partially,

whatever you do should be ok.

No, never! Your mantis is violating the contract!

- All right, I'm lost.

- What contract?

What are we talking about?

Enjoying your houseboat, hmm?

W-would you mind just not bringing that up right now?

No! Let's talk about it loudly.

No! Let's talk about it loudly.

So thathow you got that houseboat.

You sold us out for promotional considerations.

And a houseboat.

I didn't sell you out for a house The bun is in your mind.

I also received two cool speakers.

Are they surround sound?

Well It. Isit surround sound?

And, no, it is not.

- Whoa. Hold on a second.

- There's only one?

You will receive the second speaker

upon the elimination of all hunger.

You sold us out.

For a crummy houseboat.

And one serious speaker!

And one serious speaker!

- Look, guys.

- We're still doin' the show.

We're just takin' it in a new direction, that's all.

- Yes!

- A delicious direction!

At least

Now with 3 convenient locations.

- That was good.

- I want to turn invisible.

And I want jets.

Look, let's just get the guest out here, ok?

Yes. Bring forth the guest!

What do you do?

You fight hunger, or is hunger your villain?

Master shake is the almighty frozen drink.

Master shake is the almighty frozen drink.

Yeah. Uh, forget about that guy for a second.

What is going on in here?

We fight hunger, and that is all you need to know, lever man.

- To us you are very small.

- We are huge, lever man.

Lever man, don't mess this up for me.

Mess what up?

Oh, someone doesn't know about the

limited edition collector's cup deal.

Oh, no, no.

Hey, master shake collect all 4

from the entire Space Ghost, zorak,

Brak, and

The nascar driver rusty Wallace.

Where'smycup?

Moltar uh, how can I put this?

You scare children.

I'm the only one that wears a cup.

True, but you wear it in a bad place,

and you never rinse it properly.

How would you know?

Because I drank from it!

And, believe me, it smells, Buster.

The Moltar cup didn't test well. It's yucky.

Children didn't want to put their lips to it.

Yeah. So send Willie out here.

- Do it, lever-man.

- You know I'm the master.

Aah! Master, he took my eye.

Why would you do that, zorak?

Just because he doesn't look like you?

Yeah, that's the reason.

Well, just because someone's

different doesn't give you the right

to remove their face with your mouth your filthy green mouth

that is so odd and jagged.

You know, I sometimes wonder what Between two steamed buns.

Wait a minute.

Aaaahhhh!

Been a while since you had one of those, hasn't it?

Hee hee hee.

Hello.

Up the chain, Willie.

- Greetings, alien.

- I am master shake.

Where'd you get them clothes?

This is a cup which contains my chocolate inner being.

- Hey! Hey! I'm doin'

- The interview here.

Willie, this is a cup which contains my chocolate inner being.

- Hey, there you go.

- Who do you fight?

- Go on, ghost.

- Tell him what you fight.

Um, I fight hunger, Willie.

Louder. Be proud of what we make you do.

Crime down these days?

It's a crime not to pick up a master shake

Now in artificial flavors

somewhat similar to strawberry.

We have a commercial that depicts this crime.

Maybe you've seen it, but I'll describe it for you.

I'm the pieces of meat that weren't

good enough to make the hamburger.

Well, how do people even hold you?

Well, you know the bun?

See, that's in your mind, so they gotta use bare hands.

God.

Yeah, they're gonna rip out my eyes and thread an easy-grip

handle through the holes.

Please, God, k*ll me.

Then they go to a burger trench and order one of my shakes

because they cannot fight the hunger inside.

It imprisons them.

You can tell that they are burglars

because they wear masks over their eyes,

and they have striped suits.

Then we show them being arrested.

The ad is long, and it is in surround sound.

What planet are you from?

The planet of flavor.

Willie! Hey, Willie!

Hey, how you doin', Tex?

I'm the host of the show, not the cup.

Over here! Look at me.

Initiate hunger imagery.

Look, when we first talked, we said that you would be

running through occasionally with your food friends.

That is correct, because we are action heroes,

and running is action.

Mamas, let your babies grow up to drink master shakes.

Willie, get on the road again for a kid's baffler meal.

Willie, get on the road again for a kid's baffler meal.

Hey! This is outside the scope of what we talked about.

I am always on your mind.

The bun is in your mind.

The bun is in your mind.

- Oh, sweet delight.

- Meatwad is smokin' again.

Yes, keep changing that ad line, meatwad.

How about this one?

Reward yourself by eating a wad of

decayed meat with an oasis of greasy

honey mustard filling lodged

Will you just shut up for 3 seconds?!

Yes. Silence is golden.

Like my delicious golden fries.

They come with a kid's baffler meal.

Baffle yourself with flavor.

Ok, we heard you!

They haven't heard what the box is.

- What? What is it?

- What is the box?

Please tell us what it is, because you're gonna do it anyway.

Tell us all about the box, please!

It's a maze and coloring book.

Well, thank God!

I guess we know who doesn't want a houseboat.

Well come on, I didn't mean that.

You sure yelled it loud enough.

Please don't take awayproud Larry.

Then pronounce your love for me.

You know, this wasn't part of the deal.

- Bow down, and I will dominate you.

- That's the deal.

Now, hold on, master shake!

Is it clear who's in charge in here?

Hail master shake, warrior of the night.

You need to chill out and shut your lid,

cup, or else it'll be time

to shake it up.

And the drinks are on me,

'cause I'm tired of milkin' this shake,

and there's no free refills this time.

Excuse me, ma'am, but the machine

seems to be out of ice, and I just

purchased this.

Let me, uh, let me rework this.

You have stopped the flavor!

Yes, I did, because I don't even have a boating license.

Because I don't even have a boating license.

I suppose I could get one, but still Look, just chill out.

- Don't sh**t.

- Don't sh**t, please.

Really, I'm just a theater major.

Time to have some refried fries, fry man.

Time to have some refried fries, fry man.

This is a freakin' suit!

The bun is in your mind.

Meatwad? Meat dead?

Meatwad? Meat dead?

Make dead meat, more like it.

- No, wait.

- Don't sh**t!

- It's me, Moltar.

- Ha ha ha ha ha!

No, see, he was beggin' to die, so I mangled him, ate him,

and put on his skin as a joke. Ha ha!

Ha ha! Huh?

And you're wondering why you didn't get

the cup with your little face on it?

Aaaaahhh! I'm dead.

I guess that's the end of your little

Wait. Before I ascend into

heaven free of all sin, I have a few

other thoughts I'd like to share.

Since I will no longer be working in television, which will

sadden advertisers and prevent me

from appearing with g*ns n' roses

at Philly's first union center in January,

because I'll be dead

I think I said that earlier.

So, to summarize,

classic rock will be forever changed.

Oh, no.

And I'm making a movie with axl rose.

It starts off in the desert Quickly, to the houseboat.

Where we are both hungry, and scorpions roam the earth.

Everybody buckled in?

To the club!

$4.00? For what?

Hey, baby, said the way you quake

gonna drink us down some master shake

you got a thirst you wanna quench

drive on down to burger trench

eat yourself a big meatwad

with honey mustard dipping sauce

you want an affordable place to dine

feed your kids for $3.99

what have I done to the future of classic rock?

Hey, baby, oh, baby, pretty baby

no one's under pressure now

Space Ghost: Nooooo!

- Hello?

- God, are you there?

Is this heaven, or am I in television?