01x17 - The Candidate

[bunniefuu]

(fanfare and cheering)

- Yo, yo yo, I need to get your attention up here.

All right.

Now, if elected I am going to make school cool.

(cheering)

- [Caitlin] Elections: the right, power or privilege

of choosing someone based on their leadership ability.

(cheering and applause)

- Hey, what's my name?

- [Crowd] Taylor!

- And what am I gonna be?

- [Crowd] President!

- I just want to say that if I'm elected,

I promise to make classes way more fun.

- Yeah!

(crowd cheers and applauds)

- The health of the student body.

Better bodies make better minds.

- I don't believe it.

- What?

- You're actually helping that airhead with her campaign?

- She happens to have a very decent platform.

- Please.

The only platforms that matter to Taylor are her shoes.

- Okay. So maybe she's not the perfect candidate,

but I wanted to get involved and she asked me.

- [Boy] Want a cool school, checkmark Jordan Platt.

Yeah. Vote Jordan!

- Taylor promised to use some of my ideas.

That's what politics is all about.

One voice making a difference.

- Well, look, I hate to state the obvious,

but why can't that one voice be yours?

Why don't you run for president?

- Me? No way.

I'm a behind the scenes type of guy,

people like me don't run for president.

I don't even have a campaign manager.

We need one to be official.

- I'll tell you what:

You run against pom-pom girl,

and I'll be your campaign manager.

- I don't know, I already committed to Taylor.

- Fine, but ask yourself this.

Do you really want our prom

to be decorated by Martha Stewart?

- [Caitlin] High school elections:

the right, power, or privilege of choosing someone

based on how cool they are, how popular they are,

and how they look in a cashmere sweater.

What a joke.

(rock music plays)

♪ There's a devil standing on my tail ♪

♪ But I don't have to beat him ♪

♪ And there's an angel that is tempting me to fail, ♪

♪ But I don't really need him! ♪

♪ And the waves just keep rolling along ♪

♪ We can drift if the current prevails ♪

♪ Here we are, in this slow boat ♪

♪ Wishing for a sail, ♪

♪ Wishing for a sail, sail, sail, sail ♪

♪ I'm wishing! ♪

♪ I'm wishing! ♪

♪ I'm wishing ♪

♪ For a sail ♪

(calm rock music plays)

(horse snorts)

- What is it, boy?

(goose quacks)

They're hurt.

(goose quacks)

- [Caitlin] Dory!

Bandit and I found him.

His wing was bleeding.

I think it was shot.

- Oh, well, it's hunting season.

He's one of the lucky ones.

(horse snorts)

Hey. Yeah.

We're going to fix you all up

so you can fly home for the winter.

(goose calls)

- Yeah.

(rock music plays)

- Taylor?

- Griffin! Good speech this morning.

I think the crowd really, really liked it.

But then again, I was delivering it.

Put one of these on every table.

I want to get the after school crowd.

- Taylor, you remember how you said that

if I ran your campaign, you'd listen to some of my ideas?

Well, maybe now's the time, you know,

to look into the issues that might actually matter.

- Haven't you seen my revised cafeteria menu?

- That's exactly what I'm talking about.

I don't want to write speeches about low-fat Jello.

- Griffin, you're a nice guy and you're a good writer.

But when it comes to knowing what it takes to win

an election, you're out of your league.

So why don't you write your little speeches and I'll--

I'll be me.

Maybe put two flyers per booth.

Ugh, I have to go to the mall.

- Taylor, I quit.

I can't support a candidate

who doesn't have any real issues.

- You're so cute when you're self-righteous.

We'll meet tomorrow about my next speech.

- Okay, there you go.

- So how long do you think he'll have to stay here?

- Well, his wings should be strong enough

to fly in a couple of days.

He's going to have to go soon before it gets too cold.

(goose quacks)

- Hey, it's your choice.

It's either that cage or a hungry coyote.

(goose quacks)

- Hmm. Maybe the splint is too tight.

(military march music plays)

(music changes to funk)

(horse snorts)

- Hey, look, he's into hip-hop.

- Yeah, it is some kind of a dance.

(goose quacks)

(horse snorts)

- [Caitlin] He's going after Bandit.

- [Dory] Well, geese can be pretty aggressive.

- Really?

- Hey Dad, what made you decide to run for sheriff?

Hike!

- I don't know.

I needed the work and I was getting a little too big

for my paper route.

- No, I'm serious.

How'd you know that the ideas you had

might be the ones people would like?

- I didn't,

but I felt strongly enough about them

that I thought other people might too.

Felt I had something to contribute.

So I took the risk.

(cows mooing)

Griff?

- Caitlin thinks I should run for school president.

- What do you think?

- I think I could do a good job.

- But you're afraid of losing?

- Well, the way I figure there's about 450 students.

Alphabetically, Jordan's name comes first.

So he's going to get a lot of the students

too lazy to read the entire ballot vote.

Taylor's going to get a lot of the jocks

and girls who dot their "I"s with hearts vote.

- Where does that leave you?

- I have no idea.

- Griff, the best advice I can give is:

it's better to be guided by your dreams than your fears.

- All right, I'll go for it.

- Good for you.

Hey, where are you going?

- I have to talk to Caitlin!

I'm going to need a campaign manager.

- President.

(goose quacks)

- Yeah, yeah, we hear you.

- Caitlin! Caitlin!

- Shh! Animals trying to rest here.

- Sorry.

(cow moos)

I'm going to do it, Caitlin.

I'm going to throw my hat in the ring for school president.

- That is excellent!

You're going to cream Taylor.

Finally, someone who can squash that--

- That's not why I'm running.

I just, you know,

I believe I can make the time

we spend at school count for something.

- And you can cream Taylor.

- Hi, I'm Griffin, oh, oh no.

- So it's true.

You're actually running against me.

- Hmm, the more the merrier?

- And he's on your campaign?

Be prepared to be humiliated.

It takes a lot more than a fancy speech to win an election.

You have to have charisma and frankly, Griffin,

that's one thing you definitely don't have.

- Oh, and she does.

- Babe!

- And how would you know?

- Sorry.

- Don't let her get to you, Griffin.

You really do have some great ideas.

- Yeah. Just hope they count for something.

- [Dory] Okay, this healed a lot faster than I thought.

We're gonna miss you around here, Gus.

- Gus?

- I couldn't just call him "goose".

Hey, okay, here we go. Here we go.

(exciting music plays)

Okay, off you go, go on.

- Send us a postcard!

(goose quacks)

(horse neighs)

- He's doing it again!

(horse neighs)

- Forget about Bandit, fly!

Come on, Gus.

Okay, here we go, come on.

All right, there you go. Go on.

What?

Your wing is perfectly okay!

You have 500 miles to fly.

(goose quacks)

- I followed your poster trail.

- Putting up your own on top of mine?

- I would never do that.

I just want you to know that I read your flyer

and you got some good ideas.

They kind of make some of mine look, well, not so important.

If I wasn't running, I'd vote for you.

- You're kidding.

- Thing is, I am running.

And being school president looks really good

on a college application.

So I am not going to lose this election.

- How can you be so sure?

- I have a secret weapon.

- Oh, what's that?

- Your cousin as your campaign manager?

Considering this whole thing is a popularity contest,

you blew any chance you had by teaming up with the most

unpopular person you could.

- She's not that bad.

- Well, my advice,

if you even want a chance to beat me,

lose the juvenile delinquent.

You still won't win,

but at least you'll make it interesting.

(off-key rock music plays)

♪ Vote for Griffin, he's the man ♪

♪ Gonna run this school like no one can ♪

♪ He's a natural leader and that is so, ♪

♪ So vote for Griffin ♪

♪ Griffin Lowe! ♪

- He's awful.

- [Boy] Nerd!

(crowd laughs)

(feedback)

♪ Vote for Griffin, he's the guy ♪

♪ Gonna make this school year really fly ♪

♪ He's the absolute best choice to run the show ♪

♪ So vote for Griffin! ♪

♪ Griffin Lowe! ♪

(music stops)

- [Girl] Hope you can run the school

better than you can sing!

(laughter and microphone feedback)

- My presidency will kick off a new era

in the social life of this school.

Things to do, people to see, places to go--

- I promise to work on...

getting a student representative on the school board to,

to give kids a say in the way our school is run.

- Why doesn't he just relax?

- Maybe he's just warming up.

- Better warm up a lot quicker.

- Um, on average boys' sports teams

get 25% more funding than girls' sports teams.

- [Taylor] If I win, the first thing I'm gonna do

is throw a huge pool party at my house

for all my supporters.

(crowd cheers)

- She's bribing people.

- Yeah, and it's working.

- [Girl] Cupcakes for Taylor!

- What? I was hungry.

- Be a catch phrase that will echo in the halls

of this great institution.

(crowd cheers)

- Excuse me.

I would strongly suggest that you three

go back and listen to Griffin Lowe.

Now!

- [Taylor] Institutions which have made our country--

- Like we're clones of the same kid.

We need a choice in what we learn and how we learn it.

- Give us a better fashion sense,

and I know some of us could use that.

- Thanks.

- [Taylor] My presidency will kick off--

- What are you doing?

This may be how they campaign where you're from,

but not around here.

- Look, Taylor plays dirty, we play dirty.

Do you want to win or not?

- Not like this, I don't.

Democracy means people choosing of their own free will.

- Some choice.

Cupcakes, or listening to you choke on your words.

- You know what? You're fired.

- You can't fire me!

- Yeah? Well, I just did.

- You know what?

You're right.

You are a behind the scenes kind of guy.

You don't have what it takes to win.

- You don't care whether I win or not.

Just whether I beat Taylor.

- And you won't.

- Not with you around.

- I'm not the reason you're gonna lose. You are.

You're totally boring. And you're making a complete--

- At least people like me!

Look at you. They think you're a freak.

(dramatic music plays)

(horse neighs)

(goose quacks)

(horse snorts)

(goose quacks)

- Gus, stop chasing Bandit!

Gus, this is ridiculous.

All of the other Canada geese have already flown south.

You want to be the only one without a tan?

(goose quacks)

Are you afraid you're going to get shot again?

You can't stay here! You have to fly south!

(goose quacks)

- I know!

We'll teach you how to fly!

(goose quacks)

(Dory chuckles)

- If you're interested,

I'm still looking for a speechwriter.

- No thanks. Too busy writing my own.

- [Dory] Okay. You ready?

- You bet.

Are you ready?

- Okay, the question is, are you ready?

- Come on Gus.

You're about to get a refresher lesson in flying.

- Okay, come on, Gus!

Go on!

(inspirational rock music plays)

- Okay, Gus! Come on, you can do it!

Yeah!

- I should put out a new shingle:

Dory Lowe, vet and goose psychologist.

- Excuse me. Don't you mean Bandit, goose psychologist?

(Dory laughs)

(goose quacks)

- [Dory] No!

What are you doing here?

(goose quacks)

(horse neighs)

- So he stays with us for the winter.

What's the big deal?

- It's not natural behavior, that's what's the big deal!

I just don't understand.

He can fly, he just won't take off.

(crowd cheering)

- [Taylor] I also believe--

(Taylor continues speaking, indistinct)

- Shouldn't you be getting ready to make a speech?

- I withdrew my candidacy.

- What?

Look, I thought this was something you wanted to do.

One voice making a difference. Remember?

- It's a nice theory, Caitlin.

You and Taylor were right.

I just don't have what it takes.

- Good choice.

That's an excuse I would have used too.

- What's that supposed to mean?

- I just think that if I were you,

I'd rather fail trying than not try at all.

Because the opposite of success isn't failure.

It's quitting.

- Where'd you read that, a fortune cookie?

- No.

You told me that about a hundred times since I've been here.

You know what you said about how I was only supporting you

because I wanted Taylor to lose?

That was only partially true.

I really do believe that you're the best person for the job.

(Griffin chuckles)

(crowd cheers)

- That was probably Taylor's big finish.

(crowd chanting "Taylor")

(Griffin sighs)

- Guess I better go. I have a speech to make.

- What are you going to say?

- You know what?

I have no idea.

(cheering and applause)

- Top that, Griffin.

Oh and by the way, losers are still invited

to my pool party.

(light applause)

(cheers)

- Hi, I'm Griffin Lowe.

Um, I'm what they call a dark horse.

That's a candidate who doesn't really stand a chance of

winning, but I'm here because I believe--

I'm here because my campaign believes

that there are a lot of kids in this school

that fall through the cracks.

They're not popular, but they're not unpopular either.

They're not the smartest, or the prettiest, or the funniest.

That doesn't mean they should count for any less.

Look, you know who you are,

and I know who you are,

'cause I'm one of you.

If elected,

I promise to speak for you.

To make sure that even though your voices

may not be the loudest, they'll still be heard.

Thanks.

(hesitant applause and cheers)

(camera shutter clicks)

- Well, she only beat you by 174 votes.

On the plus side, you beat Jordan by 75.

- Yeah. At least I get to be vice president.

- Oh, come on. This is Taylor!

You know she's gonna dump everything on you anyway.

- So I'm sort of like the shadow president.

Well, that's cool.

- Yeah.

And you're gonna be great.

- Hey, I had a secret weapon.

You.

- Thanks.

- I just said that so you wouldn't beat me up.

(Caitlin laughs)

- [Griffin] Hey, what's going on?

- Let's see you stand here and solve the mystery for us.

- Another Canada goose?

- She's been hanging around our creek,

and as far as I can see, there's nothing wrong with her.

She just didn't want to migrate.

- When Stan called about the female,

I finally understood what was holding Gus back.

Canada geese mate for life,

so neither of them wanted to fly south without the other.

(geese quack)

- [Dory] Come on.

Okay.

(geese quack)

(inspirational music plays)

- [Caitlin] Gus could fly,

but he couldn't take off south until he found Greta.

In a way, something like that happened to Griffin.

He couldn't take off in his campaign

until he found out what he stood for.

It's kind of cool though,

that I helped him figure it out.

I've never been a teen role model before.

It was kind of awesome.

I'm sure it will never happen again.

- What are you grinning at?

- Nothing.

(inspirational music ends)

(theme song plays)