[INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENOVER PA]
Hola, ruya. Where to, mami?
44th, between 9th and 10th.
MAN: Here you go, buddy.
FEMALE NARRATOR: Feel the magic
of the city that never sleeps.
From the lights of Broadway
to the paths of Central Park.
[EXHALES]
Find your playground
in New York--
[DOOR OPENS]
-[DOOR CLOSES]
-CAB DRIVER: All right.
[CAR HONKING]
CAB DRIVER: God damn it.
-f*ck' as*h*le.
-[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
[SIGHS]
[SOFT, MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
[CAB DRIVER EXHALES]
[PHONE BEEPS]
44th and 9th, huh?
Yep.
Midtown.
Good ol' Midtown.
You are my last fare
of the night.
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
-I won?
-[CHUCKLES]
You f*ck' won, sweetheart,
you did. [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
What do I get for winning?
Anything you want.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
Yeah.
I had a rough day of it.
Short trips,
barely nothing extra.
This f*ck' business
with the credit cards.
I mean, when it was cash,
people throw you 10, 20, 50.
f*ck' Monopoly money, right?
But you swipe that plastic,
you got time to think.
Staring at all those
little numbers,
before you know it,
I get f*cked up the as*h*le.
These f*ck' apps, all of 'em.
Get a coffee, burger,
soap, socks,
wine, water, weed,
f*ck' Chinese takeout.
You can get all that sh*t
and never reach for your purse.
Nah, not even for tip.
I mean, salt used to be money.
Motherfuckin' salt,
the same sh*t you
sprinkle on your eggs.
You know, every morning you toss
that cheap-a*s sh*t on your eggs
with no idea that people
used to die for it.
Tea, coffee, same thing.
All that sh*t you gloss over
at the grocery store,
at one point in time,
humans f*ck' k*lled
each other for it.
Bird's eye view
of all that sh*t?
Over the years, you see money
go from salt to gold to paper.
And now, money,
it ain't nothing but an idea,
just little numbers on a screen.
Can't touch it, can't bury it,
can't put a little X
that marks the spot.
Nah, you just tie it
to a f*ck' butterfly
and send it up into
that cloud up there.
But one of these days,
I'm telling you,
that cloud's gonna open up
and it's gonna pour acid rain
down all over our dumb faces.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
Well, I got you covered.
Yeah?
My bag in the back
should settle us.
How?
It's full of salt.
[CHUCKLES]
That's good. That's good.
For that, you can use
a damn credit card, honey.
-[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
-It is what it is at this point.
I mean, cabs, yellow cabs
are like f*ck' Blockbuster.
You know?
Ten years' time, there ain't
gonna be no yellow cab no more.
And all the other guys,
the ones with the apps,
the ones that are,
you know, taking over,
they're gonna be nothing
but a blip on the screen
in a f*ck' blink of an eye,
all said and done.
Yeah, you'll order up a car
on your phone just like before.
But when you hop in,
it ain't gonna be no
human behind the wheel,
I can tell you that.
You'll order up a car,
and that f*ck' car
will drive itself
to wherever the f*ck
you want to go.
It won't speed, it won't stink,
it won't make you sick.
Won't ever get lost.
Might even ask you
how your day was.
[CHUCKLES]
-f*ck' apps.
-f*ck' apps, man.
Want some radio?
Not really.
Yeah.
Okay.
It's nice you're not
on your phone.
You don't have to keep talking
to me or nothing but...
Just nice, you know?
To see a human not plugged in.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
What's your name?
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY] Why?
I just like to know
people's names.
CAB DRIVER: f*ck,
you really are human.
That's sweet.
Clark.
-Clark.
-You thought I'd say Vinny
-or some sh*t.
-[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
-I don't know what I thought.
-Nah, it's fine.
[IN ACCENT] I mean, Clark.
Clark...
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
[NORMAL VOICE]
...has a house in the Hamptons,
he plays tennis, he goes
to the opera and sh*t.
I'm never, ever
going to be that guy.
What name would you
choose if you could?
Vinny.
-Vinny.
-Vinny. Classic.
Of course.
[ENGINE ACCELERATING]
CLARK: So you live here, right?
-GIRLIE: I do.
-Yeah.
Your little outfit
gave you away.
My little outfit?
It says a lot about you.
What does it say?
That you can handle yourself.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
How could you
possibly know that?
It ain't that difficult
to read people.
I mean, you jumped in,
business as usual,
you turned off that damn
little screen back there
'cause you already know
what Broadway shows
are f*ck' playing.
Didn't even think to
reach for your seatbelt.
Why would you?
Had enough rides,
in and out. Am I right?
What else?
You gave me cross streets
instead of some recited
address from your phone.
I can tell you're not
concerned with the meter,
'cause you already know
JFK's a flat rate.
-Impressive.
-Yeah.
I'm not claiming to be
some Sherlock or nothing,
just a guy who pays attention.
You've had a long day,
you're tired.
You wanna go home,
take a shower,
sleep in your own bed,
and you got in line
for a motherfuckin' taxi.
Now that's a New Yorker
that pays attention.
Someone who knows
what the f*ck's going on.
And you're not afraid
to look me in the eye.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
Like I said,
you can handle yourself.
I like to think so.
-[WIND HOWLING]
-[SPITS]
[WINDOW CLOSING]
[CLARK EXHALES]
[PHONE BEEPS]
[PHONE CHIMING]
[SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]
[MELANCHOLY MUSIC PLAYING]
Where are you flying in from?
Uh, Oklahoma.
What's in Oklahoma?
I grew up there.
[SIGHS WEARILY]
What about your accent?
-Sorry, what?
-Your accent.
-My accent?
-Yeah.
Don't people from Oklahoma
[IN ACCENT] talk like this?
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY] Oh.
Not all of us, apparently.
Where are you from?
What part of the state?
[SIGHS SOFTLY]
Just a tiny little town.
What's the town?
-You've never heard of it.
-What's the town?
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
Okay, so Oklahoma is shaped
like a pan, right?
So if my arm is the panhandle...
Yeah?
Then I grew up here.
-The armpit.
-Of Oklahoma. [CLICKS TONGUE]
CLARK: What's it called?
-[SIGHS SOFTLY] Gage.
-Gage, Oklahoma.
You got it.
CLARK: I, honest to God, would
never have guessed Oklahoma.
GIRLIE: What would
you have guessed?
Not an armpit,
I can tell you that.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
How long you been in New York?
-Nine years in June.
-No sh*t?
No sh*t.
One more year
and I'll be official.
-What you do for work?
-I'm a programmer.
-Computers?
-Computers.
-No sh*t?
-No sh*t.
Like ones and zeroes
and that sh*t?
Like ones and zeroes
and that sh*t.
CLARK: Huh.
You thought I'd say something
more girly, didn't you?
-Yeah.
-[CHUCKLING SOFTLY] Yeah.
Yeah, I thought, you know,
wedding planner.
-Or fashion or something.
-Fashion, hmm.
Not as many women code,
I'll give you that.
Yeah, you drew
a line in the sand,
lifted your leg
and left your mark.
I don't mind squatting.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
So what's the deal with
the ones and zeroes?
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY] Like?
They're like building
blocks and whatnot.
Like when I look
at my computer,
I'm really looking
at a bunch of ones
and zeroes and sh*t.
Yeah, something like that.
Well, tell me. I mean, I,
honest to God, want to know.
Can't be a know-it-all
if I don't know nothing.
Mmm. [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
[CLEARS THROAT] Okay.
Basically...
-[BOTTLE CAP CLASPS]
-[KEYS RATTLE]
...so a computer
uses electricity
to create on and off states
that can represent
ones and zeroes.
One being on and zero being off.
But they more often represent
the idea of something
being true or false.
CLARK: Ones and zeroes
mean true or false?
GIRLIE: Well, not always.
They can also represent
numbers and other things.
But much of what I do is testing
whether something
is true or false,
and I've always used
one to mean true and--
Zero to mean false.
-You got it.
-Oh.
Everything in a computer,
the colors, images, music,
money,
three-dimensional worlds,
all of it is...
Is represented
by ones and zeroes.
CLARK: True and false.
GIRLIE: Correct.
It's basically
how everything you see operates.
Hmm.
I mean, it makes sense.
We all do that.
Lay down our bricks
of ones and zeroes,
and build ourselves a fort.
And that sh*t,
it starts young, right?
"You are stupid,
-"true or false?"
-[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
"You are ugly, true or false?"
"Your mother loves you,
true or false?"
And when you grow up,
that sh*t don't stop.
I mean, "Climate change,
true or false?"
-"Jesus Christ, true or false?"
-[CHUCKLES]
"You must wear pants today,
true or false?"
And so it goes, on and on.
We all gotta choose
our ones and zeroes
in whatever we decide, yeah?
That becomes the foundation
from which we operate.
Or maybe
I'm just talking bullshit.
Zero.
CLARK: Hmm.
You're a...
You're a surprising person,
-I must say.
-Aw, shucks.
CLARK: Very little
surprises me these days.
-What about you?
-What about me what?
-Where are you from?
-Hell's Kitchen.
Or what used to be
Hell's Kitchen,
not too far from
where we're going.
What was it like
when you were a kid?
CLARK: Well, back in my day,
man, if hell really did
have a kitchen,
that would've been it.
You know, you had
junkies on every stoop,
hookers on every corner.
"Want a date? Want a date?"
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
It was fantastic.
You still live in Manhattan?
I own a place, Jackson Heights.
-It's a small house.
-Still a house.
You better f*ck' believe it.
[CHUCKLES]
So, Clark lives in Queens?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Vinny lives in Queens.
Clark, well,
he's got a loft in Tribeca.
[CHUCKLES]
Right.
-[CARS HONKING]
-[INDICATORS BEEPING]
[JACKHAMMER RATTLING]
Oh, f*ck. That ain't good.
Damn it.
Some kind of fender bender
up there.
[SIRENS BLARING]
Sorry, sweetie,
I hate this sh*t.
GIRLIE: Not your fault.
Huh. f*ck' know these roads
like the back of my hand,
but still can't predict
the weather.
It's the one thing those
f*ck' apps have on me.
That's the one f*ck' thing.
-It's fine, really.
-No, it's not fine.
It's not professional,
I should've been
paying attention,
I could've gotten off
back there.
Well...
[SIGHS SOFTLY]
-I'm on the flat rate.
-Oh...
-So...
-[BOTH CHUCKLE]
Nah, I'm gonna meter your a*s.
Nope. No, man.
I won. I won again.
You're leaving me
in the dust over here.
Two to zero.
-[VEHICLE BEEPING]
-[SIREN BLARING]
[MELANCHOLY MUSIC PLAYING]
[FINGERS TAPPING]
[SIGHING RUEFULLY]
[SOFT THUMPS]
[MUSIC INTENSIFIES]
[SIREN BLARING]
[PHONE CHIMING]
[SIGHS]
[MELANCHOLY MUSIC
CONTINUES PLAYING]
[SIGHING]
[TYPING]
How long were you in Oklahoma?
Um...
Two weeks.
You're visiting family?
I have a half-sister.
[PHONE CHIMES]
-[PHONE RINGING]
-[GASPS SOFTLY]
What's she like? Your sister?
She's, um...
Honestly, she's kind of a b*tch.
[CHUCKLES] How's she a b*tch?
What'd she do?
You know, little things like...
She makes fun of my cankles.
-Your cankles?
-I have thick ankles.
-Nah, I don't believe that.
-[SIREN BLARING]
-It's true.
-You're small.
I'm small, and I
have thick ankles.
That's a thing?
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY] It's a thing.
-Sounds cute.
-Thank you.
It is cute.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
I take it you and the b*tch
don't visit very often.
I hadn't seen her in years.
Huh. Why?
We just stopped talking.
We didn't get in a fight
or anything, we just...
stopped talking.
Why now?
She tracked me down
and asked me to visit,
and I, you know,
I didn't have a reason
to say no.
We had a nice time.
I mean,
she's a total f*ck' b*tch,
but we laughed a lot, and...
[SIGHS SOFTLY]
We just drank a lot
and laughed a lot.
Hmm.
She married?
-She has a girlfriend.
-Nice.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
Her name is Eagle.
f*ck me,
is that Native American
or something?
That's right.
Well, that's some
cool-a*s sh*t right there.
-Hmm.
-[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
Yeah. They seem happy.
They live in a trailer,
and they just got a parakeet.
Saving up to do some traveling
next year. She's...
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
She's come a long way.
Is she older or younger?
She was 11
when I was born, so...
She was kind of like
a mom growing up.
Hmm.
But she was a f*cked-up mom.
Like, f*cked-up.
She used to tie me up
ankle to ankle, wrist to wrist,
and put me in the bathtub,
and lock me in the bathroom.
What?
[HESITATES]
Bathtub full?
Empty.
Why the f*ck would she do that?
It was her way
of helping me practice.
Practice what?
If I ever got kidnapped,
I'd be able to escape.
That was her logic.
Did you like getting tied up?
I liked the challenge
of getting free.
You got loose, didn't you?
You sat there in that cold tub,
that cold, empty tub,
and you wiggled yourself loose
every f*ck' time.
Kidnappers be damned.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
Like I said, you
can handle yourself.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
Did you get a prize
for getting loose?
Not really.
By the time I'd get free,
she'd be at work or whatever.
-And where was Mom?
-Mom was gone.
Where'd she go?
[SIGHS WEARILY]
Mom went out
for a pack of smokes
and never came back.
[CHUCKLES]
That's funny.
You're funny.
[CHUCKLES]
What are you? 25, 26?
Oh, no, no, no.
I don't answer that question.
-Why the hell not?
-Because it's bullshit.
Well, what, are you weird
about your age or something?
The whole world is f*ck'
weird about my age.
If I told you that
I was 24 or 34,
your opinion of me
would drastically change.
That's not true.
For women, it is true.
It is f*ck' true. [SCOFFS]
The moment we hit 30,
our value is cut in half.
I mean, fine.
f*ck it, it's true.
-It's f*ck' true.
-It's f*ck' true.
But listen, you really
do look 20-something,
but by the way you talk,
all smart and sh*t,
you know, if I wasn't looking,
I would guess you were 50, so.
So, why does it matter
how many times I've
been around the sun?
Hell if I know.
I guess it's just my way
of trying to understand.
Understand what?
Well, it is a bit confusing to
meet some chick who looks 22,
but is clearly such
a f*ck' rocket ship.
A rocket ship?
[MIMICKING BLAST-OFF]
That's you.
-Yeah, that is me.
-Yeah. Feel it, own it.
-Oh, I feel it.
-[CHUCKLES]
Gonna take over the whole
wide world, no question.
I'll build a small empire
-and leave the rest.
-Yeah.
You... You plan to share
that empire with someone?
A boyfriend,
a girlfriend or whatnot?
Mmm...
What? You need me
to kick someone's a*s?
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
No, it's okay.
What's their name?
His name doesn't matter.
-He f*ck up that bad?
-[CHUCKLES]
Come on. I told you
my name, tell me his.
I'd rather not say.
Oh, I see. I get it.
-You get what?
-I get it, he's married.
Why do you think he's married?
You could've said his name,
I would've never known.
I mean, there's not only
one Bob or Sam or Jeff
in New York f*ck' City, no.
You're afraid to say his name
because the guy's married,
or you're married,
or someone's f*ck' married
and no one wants to say
that sh*t out loud.
[CHUCKLES]
Gum?
Yes, please.
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
-He's married.
-I know he's married!
I know people.
You don't drive a cab 20 years
and not know people.
Word of advice,
and this is coming
from a man married twice,
a lot of action on the side.
-You ready?
-Mmm.
Don't ever say the word "love,"
all right? Just don't say it.
[SIGHS] Oh, sweetheart...
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
...you f*ck' said it,
didn't you?
You did, you said
the f*ck' L word.
God, honey!
That's f*ck' suicide
in that world.
Didn't you know that?
He does not want to
hear that from you.
He wants to hear it
from his mother,
his wife, his kids,
but he does not want
to hear that sh*t from you.
In the cognitive wheel
that is his life,
-that is not your function.
-[CHUCKLES]
-What is my function?
-Sex.
Sex. Touch me,
lick me, suck me,
but do not love me.
Don't you f*ck' love me.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
That is not... [CHUCKLES]
I'm not that...
I'm not that girl. Okay? I...
I just couldn't
not say it anymore.
Oh. [CHUCKLES]
Yeah, and what's he supposed
to do? Love you back?
He's supposed to ride in
on a big white horse
and whisk you away
to some cliff in Greece?
Live out his days braiding
your hair with wild flowers
and forget-me-nots?
No f*ck' way.
He's not gonna be there
when your olive oil
dries up, sweetheart.
You... You're not
that important.
He knows that, I know that.
[SCOFFS]
You... You just gotta catch up.
It's all right.
Gotta change your ones
to zeroes, sweetie.
I get it, it takes time.
Honest to God, my first wife
was everything you'd ever want.
5'8", 115 pounds,
t*ts out to here,
hair full of bleach
and a head full of nothing.
Men love women
that are dumb as sh*t.
They're f*ck' pigs
in the bedroom.
Motherfuckin' pigs
in the bedroom,
and we love that sh*t.
You think smart women can't--
Cannot reduce themselves
to pigs in the bedroom?
That's right. Can't have it
both ways, doesn't exist.
That's not true.
You're a smart girl.
Went to college, read a lot,
talk politics,
-all that sh*t?
-Yes.
You ever been a pig
in the bedroom?
What is your
definition of a pig?
See, dumb chicks can't...
They don't need explaining,
they just do it.
That was my first wife.
Everything a guy could ask for.
Then she started gaining weight
and it made her feel bad
about herself,
and she stops wanting
to, you know.
Oink?
Do her wifely duty or whatnot.
Oh, yes, wifely duty.
And then, no time flat,
honest to God,
I find myself a 19-year-old,
put her up in an apartment,
paid for the whole damn thing.
Are you f*ck' kidding me?
Oh, yeah. Cute little thing.
Polish, long legs,
f*cked the sh*t out of her.
It was the best year of my life.
I would've kept her around
longer, but...
Ah...
The L word.
Not your function.
You are there because
their wives had kids and got fat
or their wives have a career
or cancer or whatever the f*ck.
But men don't want to hear that
sh*t coming out of your mouth.
They barely want to
hear you say a word at all.
Then why get married?
Why don't men just stay single
so they can f*ck whoever,
whenever, wherever?
Whomever.
I'm sorry. Seriously?
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
Men,
we wanna look good
for other men,
if that makes sense.
We want to have a fancy
suit, big house, fast car.
He who dies with the
most toys wins, yeah.
I was talking about the suit,
the car, the house,
but it also includes
the wife and the kids.
Toys.
Now, a lot of guys out there,
maybe they did fall in love,
maybe they did really wanna
get married and have kids,
and whatever the f*ck.
But deep down,
really being honest,
looking like a family man's
more important than being one.
[POLICE TALKING INDISTINCTLY
OVER RADIO]
[SIGHS WEARILY]
There are good men out there.
Yeah, but they are
very few and very far...
More than you'd
ever want to know.
-Women cheat too.
-Different reasons.
Women want to feel sexy.
They want to feel sexy
because they want to
feel wanted,
and they want to feel wanted
'cause they want to feel loved.
And there it is.
The L word again.
[CHUCKLING] This is
such f*ck' bullshit.
I'm certain there are plenty
of women out there
who can cheat just
like a f*ck' man.
Sure. Sure, there
are women out there
that just want to get
f*cked, no question.
But those women,
they don't f*ck
any Joe Blow down the street.
Nah, they reserve their skills
for men that have money.
Men who have power,
thus causing the
whole world of men
to want money
and power all the more.
The suit, the house, the car,
we want those things.
We want those things
because we want
those skilled women
to f*ck us senseless
like a man,
no strings attached.
Therefore, you ladies,
fighting so hard
to be our equal,
is actually, in essence,
still reducing most of you
to nothing but toys.
So, the cycle continues.
I seriously f*ck'
hate you right now.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
This is everything
that's wrong with the world.
Look, at the end of the day,
I do agree with you.
Man or woman,
people are people.
-Thank you.
-And people get lonely.
Don't matter the reason.
Humans just want a soft spot
to rest their heads
for an hour even,
just a f*ck' hour to get
outside of yourself.
But in your case,
in your particular case...
[SCOFFS]
-In my case, what?
-You mean it.
You don't use the L word
unless you mean it, do you?
Look, I know you're
not that girl, all right?
I can tell.
It's not about having
babies for you,
it's not about bullshit.
It's about being distracted
just long enough
that you can forget about
whatever the f*ck happened
in Gage, Oklahoma,
all those years ago.
Then, one day,
for whatever reason,
this guy grabs your attention.
Suddenly, you want things
you never f*ck'
wanted before.
-Am I right?
-[SCOFFS] No.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
Good news is, for you,
you'll know right away
when it happens next time
'cause you'll know what
the f*ck is going on.
You won't be caught
with your panties down
on the next round, sweetie.
Unless you want to be.
Please just don't use
the word "panties,"
say like literally
anything else.
-Pantaloons, underwears!
-Great.
Regardless,
it will happen again.
Yeah, you'll meet someone.
You'll meet someone.
It doesn't matter where.
And the conversation
will start to go
in a certain way,
men know how to do that,
steer the talk to see
if there's interest.
When you met your fella,
he was doing the same thing.
He was poking around to see
if you had any candy to give.
And there you were,
thinking how great this guy is,
and how nice he's listening,
and, aw,
such a warm, perfect smile,
the warmth behind
the eyes. Bullshit!
Bull-f*ck'-sh*t, sweetheart.
It wasn't no accident.
He's done it before
and he'll do it again.
Ain't nothing special about it.
[SIGHS SOFTLY]
And now...
I gotta piss
like a f*ck' racehorse.
-[UNZIPPING]
-GIRLIE: Whoa! No.
-Do not do that in here.
-What am I supposed to do?
-Take it outside, man.
-And get arrested?
Who the f*ck's
gonna arrest you?
Come on, Hell's Kitchen.
Like you've never
peed outside before.
f*ck.
-[DOOR OPENS]
-[CHUCKLES]
[CAR HORN BLARING]
MAN: Where the f*ck
do you think you're going?
-[ENGINE REVVING]
-[CARS HONKING]
[SURREAL MUSIC PLAYING]
[SURREAL MUSIC
CONTINUES PLAYING]
-[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
-[DOOR OPENS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
[SIGHS SOFTLY]
He gave me his card.
What?
He... He gave me his card.
He didn't ask for my number
or anything.
CLARK: Yeah, yeah. There you go.
No, but that's my point.
He gave me his card
and I emailed him,
-not the other way around.
-Yeah, he's good.
I bet that man gives out a sh*t
ton of cards wherever he goes.
I mean, it's...
It's a numbers game.
You know, sometimes
he gets the candy,
sometimes he doesn't,
but you better believe
he's dishing out those cards
like it's f*ck' ice cream.
And when you
contacted him, sweetie...
[EXHALES]
...you gave away
your first piece of candy.
You can't blame the guy
for wanting more.
You think about it.
His card,
it had a business email
on it, right?
How long did it take him
to switch you over to something
a little more private?
Blink of a f*ck' eye,
am I right?
He wasn't looking
for love, sweetheart.
He wasn't looking
to replace his wife.
Who the hell wants to go
to all that trouble?
No.
He's all set up just
the way he wants to be.
He was just looking for
another toy to play with,
and clearly, he found one.
For all your smarts,
and all the time and effort
and everything
you've clearly done
to make yourself
a f*ck' fortress,
somehow you've found yourself
back in that bathtub again.
Your hands and legs
all tied up,
fighting so hard to get free.
One to two. I'm catching up.
-You done yet?
-What?
You've said very little
in a very long time,
-that I don't already know.
-So?
So, go f*ck yourself.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
[SIGHS]
Listen, I run
my mouth sometimes,
that's my problem.
I... I just like
to push buttons.
Stuff like this is...
It's just something people
don't wanna talk about.
Who the f*ck wants
to talk about this sh*t?
No one. Look...
Look, you are
a wonderful person.
A human.
You ask me about
my name and sh*t,
and you got a good heart.
I can see that,
which is why I just gotta
tell you, you know,
you're better off walking away.
I'm not saying that because
I think I'm smarter than you.
I'm saying it 'cause...
I used to be that guy,
doing what your guy's doing.
And I'm looking at your face
like that, all sad and sh*t.
[SIGHS]
That's why I don't go
for the full candy no more.
You know, I take
a blowjob on the side
every now and then but...
Some of you girls, you grow
a conscience in the morning,
and I just can't deal
with that, I'm too old.
Your guy young or old?
-Old.
-How old?
Old.
CLARK: Like what?
Like daddy type sh*t?
He could be my father, yeah.
So I'm guessing you
don't have a daddy, right?
I mean I do, but--
No, but you don't have a daddy,
and you wanted him
to be your daddy. Am I right?
[SIGHING]
You ever call him Daddy?
[CHUCKLES]
-Two to two.
-We're tied.
We are tied.
-Oh, you call him Daddy.
-I do.
-That's hot.
-It's f*cked up.
There's nothing f*cked up
about that.
I don't know psychology
very well,
but I know it don't take
rocket science to figure out
that there's a little
girl inside you.
The one you used to be,
she didn't go anywhere.
And that little girl,
she didn't have a daddy,
but she still needs
a f*ck' daddy, right?
So, you meet this guy
with his bald head
and his liver spots,
and whatever the hell
he's got going on.
Would make most girls your age
want to puke, but not you.
Because he's everything
you missed out there
back in the day.
He's all the things
your friends had
that you didn't f*ck' have.
And the little girl inside,
she just wants her
daddy to hold her.
Tell her nice things and
tell her bedtime stories.
But the grown woman
on the outside?
Well, she wants a different
kind of bedtime story,
if you catch my drift.
Put the two together,
and that guy has a chance
of having something
he never would've
touched otherwise.
Me.
You.
He's a lucky son of a b*tch
to have gotten your candy,
if you don't mind my saying.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
-He got kids?
-He does.
-How many?
-Three.
sh*t. How old?
-Young.
-His wife young?
No, I think they just waited.
-Have you met her?
-No.
-You seen her?
-No.
But you've seen pictures.
Come on. This day and age,
you wanna find a picture,
you can find a f*ck' picture.
Why do you care?
CLARK: Huh?
I... I guess, to be honest,
I drive around in
this beast all day,
you got time to do nothing
but think, you know?
When you think too much,
you ask too many questions.
Nothing special about it.
But hey, it...
It ain't all for nothing.
I mean, who else are you
gonna talk to about this sh*t?
Not like you're ever
gonna see me again.
I...
I found one picture of her.
Mmm-hmm.
They're pretty private.
They both in the picture?
They're at some...
Some corporate thing,
like an award thing.
CLARK: Mmm-hmm.
And what are they doing,
in the picture?
They're just smiling.
They're sitting next to each
other and they're just...
-smiling at the camera.
-And?
And they just look normal.
They just look normal.
-He win the award?
-He did.
Hmmm. What is he,
some kind of big shot?
-Somebody I'd recognize?
-Oh, yeah.
CLARK: Uh-huh.
And how old is she? The wife?
Late 40's, I'd say.
She's pretty?
She looks really sweet.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
So she's not pretty.
[CHUCKLES]
She's lovely.
She has this huge smile.
Like a really...
Like a really happy smile.
I looked at that picture
for a really long time,
and I had this really strange
feeling that maybe...
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
That she and I could
have been friends.
Maybe.
Hmm.
Another time,
another place, maybe.
-You ever meet the kids?
-God, no.
Seen pictures?
He shows me pictures.
f*ck, like, on his phone?
Yeah. Videos, too.
f*ck. I mean,
that's some trust.
I mean, that's some
f*cking trust right there.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
Well.
What?
You did it.
What'd I do?
I don't know.
But you did something.
I mean, he let you in.
That's as far as anyone
in your position could ever go.
What am I supposed
to do with that?
Look, it don't change anything,
but it is a compliment.
Kids cute?
They're adorable.
Boys, girls?
-Twin boys and a girl.
-Hmm.
He showed me this video
of his daughter dancing.
She's just three years old,
and she's wearing
this, like, red cape,
like a princess cape
or something,
and she's just twirling
and twirling and twirling.
Dancing for her daddy.
That's sweet.
You ever dance for your daddy?
I mean, your real daddy
when you were a kid.
No.
I did have a cape though.
I had a long purple cape,
and it made me
think I could fly.
Cape wasn't lying.
You can fly just fine.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
So, what about the twins?
What do they do?
GIRLIE: They seem
like good kids.
And you get the feeling
you could have been friends,
with the kids, another
time, another place.
Yeah, well,
he can pretend to be your daddy,
but he's gotta be
their real daddy, so,
you get why you
ain't going to Greece.
-[CARS HONKING]
-[CARS STARTING]
Here we go.
[GEAR SHIFTING]
[OFFICERS SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
[MELANCHOLY MUSIC PLAYING]
sh*t, that ain't
no fender bender.
[MELANCHOLY MUSIC
CONTINUES PLAYING]
[PHONE CHIMING INTERMITTENTLY]
[TYPING]
[MELANCHOLY MUSIC
CONTINUES PLAYING]
Eleven years.
Big difference.
Your sister being
that much older.
Yeah.
She was only 17
when we both left home.
I was six.
CLARK: You run away?
GIRLIE: I went to live with her.
I mean, I can't imagine
any Oklahoma judge
saying that was all right.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY] No, no.
No one said it was all right,
but that's what happened.
CLARK: You lived in
the armpit with your sister?
We moved, actually, to Woodward.
Like 20 minutes away,
into her boyfriend's house.
CLARK: Boyfriend?
She had boyfriends back then.
CLARK: Huh.
Why did you go to
live with your sister?
Did your daddy do something?
Something he
shouldn't have done?
No, it was never like that.
What was it like?
Well, he...
He actually never touched me.
I mean, not one hug? Not one?
Didn't have to be a hug.
You know, a pat on the back
would've been nice,
a f*ck' high five.
But I remember the day we left,
my sister jumped in her car,
and my dad was sitting
on the front porch.
And before I left,
I turned and I looked at him,
and he looked at me, and...
And he got up,
and he walked over to me
and he reached out and...
And he shook my hand.
I had never shaken
anyone's hand before.
I was six.
I was just little, you know?
But I knew what it meant.
What did he look like?
Your pop?
[INHALES] Oh, he was a cowboy.
CLARK: [CHUCKLES]
Never met a cowboy before.
Gotta put that on my list.
You know, before I die.
Number 22,
meet a motherfuckin' cowboy.
What else is on your list?
You know, I've already
done most of it.
Like what?
Like...
I learned to scuba dive
last year.
Took a trip to Nassau,
sat on the edge of a boat.
And, you know, they make
you fall backward, right?
So, you fall back in the water,
and you start to let
the wind out of your sails,
and you go down, down, down.
I mean, I didn't go too far,
I don't have the
training for that,
crazy stuff like
shipwrecks or whatnot.
Saw a blue whale even, yeah.
Big-a*s whale
passed right by us.
I mean, it was just swimming
along like it was nothing.
f*ck' poetry, that sh*t.
-Wow.
-Yeah. Big f*ck' wow.
But I don't know
if I'll do it again.
Why not?
It takes a lot of guts
to breathe underwater.
That's the biggest challenge,
just telling your...
Allowing your body
to do this thing it wasn't
meant to do, you know?
I wasn't afraid to see a shark,
I wasn't afraid to be alone.
Mostly just...
[SIGHS]
...afraid of breathing.
I mean,
that's pretty scary sh*t
when you're afraid to breathe.
I always liked sharks.
Did you see one?
No.
But I always tell everyone
I did. You know?
Great white shark,
13 feet long,
two, three tons, just swimming
around me, looking for lunch.
Until I look him
straight in the eye,
give him the middle finger,
and that shark
swims the f*ck away
'cause he knows what's going on.
[CHUCKLES] Oh, wow.
That's your story? [LAUGHS]
Yeah, I f*ck'
love that story.
What's on your list
that you haven't done?
I do want to go to
Japan one day.
Heard a lot about it.
Heard about how
they got these...
These vending machines
with used bloomers in 'em.
-Bloomers?
-Panties!
Oh, come on, man!
We've been over this.
Well, I tried to call 'em
something else,
you didn't know what the f*ck
I was talkin' about.
They got used panties!
-GIRLIE: Oh, God, no.
-Panties.
-Panties in vending machines.
-No.
-Oh, my God.
-That's what I heard.
I gotta see that sh*t.
They can't really be used.
I don't give a f*ck either way,
it'll be mind over matter
on that one.
What about you? Huh?
What's on your list?
[INHALES]
I don't know.
Come on, talk to me.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
Well, I have always wanted
to learn how to swing dance.
Yeah?
-Yeah.
-[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
Like get tossed around
and stuff.
It looks like a lot of fun.
I think I'd be good at it.
I bet you would.
And I wanna be one of those
freaky bird-watchers
in Central Park,
who just knows everything
about all the birds.
Someone who can
recognize their calls.
I just wanna be a bird lady.
CLARK: What else?
I have been...
I've been thinking
about having a little...
Like a little herb garden
in my window.
You know, just basil and stuff.
Try to remember to use it
when I'm cooking,
which isn't very often.
[LAUGHS]
But I like the idea
of it being there.
CLARK: What else?
I wanna
habla espanol perfectamente.
And I want to go to Oaxaca
during Noche de Rabanos,
and I want to eat
all the things.
Like the ants, and,
you know, the crickets.
And, yes,
I do wanna stand at the edge
of a f*ck' cliff in Greece,
and dive off that m*therf*cker.
What else?
What do you mean what else?
I just told you so much.
What, it's time
for me to ante up?
Yeah, damn straight.
How many chips
you got on the table?
Two. We're tied, remember?
-Two to two.
-And you raise me one.
And it better be a good one.
I'll give you a good one,
and you'll match me?
I'm not gonna let you win,
that's for damn sure.
All right, all right.
I can hang.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
And it's gotta be
something personal, okay?
Not one of, like,
your little anecdotes.
Well, f*ck, I don't know.
Um... Hmm.
Like...
How'd you meet your wife?
Which one?
The first one.
She threw up in my cab.
-Classy.
-Yeah, she was clubbing.
-[GIGGLES]
-You know, she was, like,
with her girlfriends,
ladies' night or some sh*t.
And they were all in these
tight dresses and high heels,
and they smelled
like booze and sweat,
-and flowers.
-[CHUCKLES]
And I was in heaven.
All these pretty ladies
jammed in my cab,
sitting on each other's laps,
talking so loud,
laughing, screaming
out the window.
And I gotta tell you,
I gotta be honest.
My c*ck was so f*ck' hard,
it was just pounding
in my panties
-because...
-Oh, my God.
God, the odds were, I was
gonna get lucky that night.
If I didn't get lucky, at least
I'd get enough good material
to rub one out at the end
of the night.
You know what I mean?
-Mmm.
-[CHUCKLES]
And then outta nowhere,
Blondie doubles over
in the back,
empties her stomach.
Which wasn't holding that much,
I'm thankful to report.
And what happened?
There's not much you
can do, you know?
Drop 'em off and get
back to the garage,
hose down the cab.
And there it was, right there.
Her purse.
GIRLIE: Hmm.
So, next day
she calls the company,
and me being
the gentleman that I am,
I offer to bring it
out there myself.
And I didn't have to jerk off
after paying her a visit,
I can tell you that.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
Yeah.
[SMACKS LIPS]
Why did you marry her?
[SMACKS LIPS]
She was a doll.
Dumb as sh*t.
But still, she was...
She was a sweetheart.
I used to play pranks
on her, you know?
Hide behind the couch,
then jump out.
Or... Or, you know, putting
sugar in the salt shaker,
just dumb sh*t like that.
And she always laughed
about it, you know?
She'd choose to laugh about it.
Like, when something happens,
and you got a choice,
that choice to get pissed off
or to laugh it off,
she'd laugh.
She'd choose to
laugh every time.
Did she ever get you?
What? A prank?
-Mmm-hmm.
-[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
She did one time.
She poured cold
water all over me
when I was in the shower.
Like a bucket of ice water,
Niagara Falls.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
And I had that same
choice, you know?
Either to get pissed
or to laugh it off.
And what did you choose?
-I laughed my f*ck' a*s off.
-[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
Chased her around the house
in my birthday suit,
she's screaming like
a little girl and everything,
like we were playing
tag and sh*t.
Finally caught her
in the kitchen.
That was a good day.
I bet she's a lot smarter
than you give her credit for.
Do you miss her?
I do sometimes. Yeah.
She was like
a summer day, you know?
Not too complicated,
just, you know,
beer and a bag of chips,
and we were set.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
Three to two.
You gonna match me or what?
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
I mean, that last one's
a tough act to follow.
-Yeah, you surprised me there.
-I surprised myself,
-I don't talk about my sh*t.
-You think I talk about my sh*t?
Well, there you go.
That's what's on the table.
Let's talk about the sh*t,
let's talk about all the sh*t.
-Okay. All right.
-All right.
-All right.
-All right.
I'll think of something juicy.
Easy.
Make it about your daddy.
Which one?
You pick.
f*ck.
Come on.
There's gotta be at least one
more thing you haven't told me.
Something you're just
dying to say out loud.
Take your time.
Not like I'm going nowhere.
[SURREAL MUSIC PLAYING]
[SURREAL MUSIC
CONTINUES PLAYING]
[SIGHS]
[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING]
[SIGHS SOFTLY]
[SIGHS SOFTLY]
[ENTHRALLING MUSIC PLAYING]
Got a few more minutes if you
still wanna play for the win.
What's left?
What have you
not told me about?
Last night,
my sister and I, we...
We got drunk.
We got really drunk,
and we were sitting
outside her trailer.
And she has these little...
Um...
These little
chili pepper lights, like...
Christmas lights or
something, you know?
Just draped around,
and we sat in these
old beach chairs,
and just drank and drank.
What about Eagle?
Eagle was around,
she was grilling up
some burgers.
CLARK: You talk
about the bathtub?
We did.
We did. I brought it up,
and she just laughed.
She laughed so hard she cried.
She didn't apologize
or anything, it was amazing.
CLARK: What else
did you talk about?
We talked about just everything,
like the perms our
mom used to give us,
sitting on a stool
in the... In the kitchen
with this, like, old pink towel
draped over our shoulders,
and you know, that smell,
that horrible perm smell
that just sticks
around for days.
And we start talking
about that day,
the day she took me away.
And I told my side of
the story, and then...
And then she told her side.
CLARK: What did she tell you?
She said that our dad
was on the porch that day.
And...
That we passed him
as we walked to the car.
And then she said that
she got in the car,
and then I got in the car,
and we just drove away.
She said, "He didn't
shake your hand that day."
But when I think back on it,
it doesn't make any sense.
Because I remember
it so clearly.
Even I remember
the feel of his hand.
I remember thinking
it felt like sandpaper.
So, which of you is right?
You or your sister?
GIRLIE: I don't know.
But...
[SIGHS WEARILY]
If that memory isn't real,
the moment my father
finally touched me,
then I don't know what is, man.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
Ones and zeroes.
Yeah, ones and zeroes.
I got a story kinda like that.
About my pop.
That moment where
everything comes into focus.
And then...
goes out again.
But that's a story
for another cab ride.
We're tied again.
-Three to three.
-Three to three.
Nice.
[SIGHS WEARILY]
We did a rain dance last night.
The three of us, just drunk.
But Eagle, Eagle showed us how.
Mmm-hmm.
Did it rain?
Well, that's the thing.
Two weeks ago,
when I flew to Oklahoma...
I was pregnant.
What'd your daddy
have to say about that?
I never told him.
I never...
I never told anyone.
Did you get rid of the baby?
It got rid of me.
The first day in Oklahoma,
I started bleeding,
and my sister didn't know.
I... I just told her I was
having a bad period,
like a really
bad period, like...
She let me sleep a lot,
and gave me a heating pad
and some ice cream, and...
[SNIFFLES]
But then, after seven days,
when I kept bleeding,
I had to hide the tampons...
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
...and pretend it was just a...
a normal period, that it ended.
I had to get up and go out
and meet her friends, and...
Just feeling like...
Like trash.
I wasn't gonna keep it.
I had made up my mind,
I wasn't gonna keep it,
and I wasn't gonna tell anyone.
But then...
[SNIFFLES]
But then when it happened...
When it just...
It just happened on its own,
I was...
[SOBBING]
I was so...
relieved.
[SOBBING]
I had never been more
relieved in my whole life.
And then last night...
[SIGHS WEARILY, SNIFFLES]
...when we were dancing,
in my mind,
I really did, I just begged
the sky to rain down on me.
To just clean me.
[SNIFFLES]
To wash it all away.
The whole f*cking thing.
I asked the sky
to just... [SNIFFLES]
...take it from me.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
And then this morning,
I woke up...
[SIGHS]
...and I wasn't
bleeding anymore.
It had stopped after two weeks.
Rain dance worked.
[SIGHS SOFTLY]
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
[SNIFFLES]
Four to three.
sh*t. I fold. [CHUCKLES]
I win?
Can't beat that,
that's for sure.
f*ck.
God damn.
[SIGHS SOFTLY]
[SIGHS SOFTLY]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
[BRAKES SCREECH]
[ENGINE STOPS]
[CHUCKLES]
I don't have any cash.
-I'm sorry.
-No one ever does.
I'm sorry. I'm gonna
leave you a big tip though.
Yeah, my advice
don't come for free.
You gonna need a receipt?
No, I'm good.
[MACHINE TRILLING]
[CLARK SIGHS]
[DOOR OPENS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
So...
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
So...
You gonna be all right?
[SIGHS] I don't know.
Your brain,
it's a little confused
right now.
It's in panic 'cause...
you ain't used to
breathing underwater,
and it's telling you you're
in way over your head.
"This is it, no way out.
Done, end of story."
You just keep breathing.
No matter how far down you go,
you keep breathing.
You're gonna be all right.
Someone like you...
You are not a shipwreck.
You're gonna swim back up.
Swim back up to all that
light and life and colors,
you are.
You might even see a blue whale.
I hope so.
[SIGHS]
[SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]
Thank you.
You're most welcome.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
[SIGHS]
You have a good night.
You, too.
-[LUGGAGE CLUNKS]
-[SIGHS SOFTLY]
[KEYS JANGLING]
Mikey.
What?
I just always felt
more like a Mikey,
not like a Vinny, not a Clark.
If it were up to me,
I'd choose Mikey.
[LAUGHS]
[SOFT PIANO MUSIC CONTINUES]
Good night, Mikey.
[KEYS JANGLING]
[DOOR OPENS]
[MELANCHOLY MUSIC PLAYING]
[SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]
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Daddio (2023)
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