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Summer Solstice (2023)

Comedy Movie Collection.
(Buddy/Dark/Black/Parody/Screwball/Slapstick/Sketch/Satire/Spoof/Mock/Comedians/etc.)
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Comedy Movie Collection.

Summer Solstice (2023)

Post by bunniefuu »

The surgery.

What can I say about it?

Other than that,

it changed everything...

All it took was my whole life.

[sighing]

All that pain...

All that struggle...

And eight hours

under anesthesia.

I went from a caterpillar

to a butterfly.

And now, I'm me.

[sobbing]

Can't you see?

I'm finally me.

[exhales]

Can't you see me

for who I truly am?

What more do I have to

Okay thanks, that's enough.

Uh, sorry.

No, that was great.

Thanks for that.

Thank you.

As you know, the casting call

is for a transgender male

or transgender female.

Just for our records,

uh, which one are you?

Oh, uh, um.

Trans man.

Trans male.

Trans man.

Great. Thanks.

We'll be in contact.

[sirens wailing]

[music playing]

Hey,

I just got out of the audition,

which was a little.

[laughing]

Yeah. Uh, on

that front, bad news.

Wait...

They already passed?

I was just up

there 30 seconds ago.

Yeah, sorry, Leo.

They said they're going

in a different direction.

Different direction. Well...

[inhales]

At least they're efficient.

Onwards and upwards.

Look, the real reason I'm

calling is because you're

confirmed.

-The callback?

-Yep.

The callback.

It's Monday, 2 p.m.

At the production offices.

They want you

to read the same scene.

So I'll send you the sides.

I already have them memorized.

Wonderful.

You're going to k*ll it.

-Zip.

-Zap.

-Zop.

-Zop Zip.

-Zap.

-Zop.

-Zip.

-Zap.

-Zop.

-Zip.

Got it.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm just tired.

[clothes rustling]

[footsteps approaching]

Remember Leo, you are a worm.

You're not

pretending to be a worm. Okay?

Loosen up.

[clothes rustling]

[footsteps receding]

Uh, so I'm auditioning

for this like,

teen movie about a vampire.

Really! That's awesome.

-Wait--

-You're gonna be like, a

vampire?

Um, I mean,

I'm going to be a human.

-Oh, okay.

-Yeah.

-I'll see it's like a.

-Yeah.

But I might turn into a vampire.

Like, later on in the film

if it all goes well.

That's so cool.

[door closing]

[whimsical music playing]

[doorbell rings]

Hi.

Sorry I'm late.

[moaning]

I feel like I came this close

to booking.

My agent said they pinned me.

That's fantastic.

Be fantastic to book but.

Yeah.

How was your audition?

They passed, but, um.

I do have this callback for...

-The series regular thing?

-Yeah.

Leo! That's great.

-Yeah, I feel really

-Sorry, do you see my shirt?

Oh, um.

Uh, here you go.

Would you want to, um...

go to this reading

my friend's doing this weekend?

Sure.

But not, like,

as a date, right?

Totally.

Because I don't want to ruin

our dynamic.

I think we work

really well together

as scene partners.

I definitely wouldn't want to

mess up our classroom chemistry.

Good.

I'm glad we're on the same page.

What are you doing tonight?

I've got a date.

Cool.

What are you up to?

Uh...

Going to

a friend's party, I think.

Fun.

Yeah.

[Leo sighing]

[phone vibrating]

Hello?

Surprise!

Surprise!

Squirrel.

[laughing]

Squirrel.

Um.

You gorgeous creature.

[chuckles]

AH! You look so different.

A year and

Vitamin T will do that.

Vitamin T?

Testosterone.

Oh, my God. Right.

Of course. Of course.

Come on in.

-Okay.

-Yeah.

[laughing]

You really don't have

to roll out the red carpet.

I'm only staying a night.

It's fine.

Well, thank you.

So...

What are you doing in New York?

Just passing through.

You know,

living my usual nomad life

during the summer.

And when I realized

that I'd be driving

through the city

to go upstate.

I couldn't resist

[chuckles]

And I think

you should come with me.

I couldn't.

I'm not taking no for an answer.

No, really.

No, really.

uh, uh

I really can't

[laughing]

-I really can't.

-I really can't.

-What?

-Eleanor!

I am not...

-I'm taking your wine away.

-Going.

What? It's mine.

[slurping]

[machine whirring]

[door closing]

Oh! Hey.

Uh, you want me

to clear out?

Nah.

We used to change in front of

each other all the time, right?

Right.

Coffee?

Ooh, yes, please.

So I hear nothing

for three weeks,

and then, out of nowhere,

out of the blue

I get a call from a new number,

and he said, oh, sorry.

I dropped my flip phone--

Flip phone!

In a bucket of paint

-at an art gathering.

-Okay.

What the f*ck

is an art gathering?

And then I was like, but

you were posting on Instagram?

And he was like, yeah,

I did it from my iPad.

So?

So I kept f*cking him

until he disappeared. Again.

[laughing]

You really know how to pick 'em.

I'm nothing if not consistent.

Are you?

At least I'm consistent

in my inconsistency.

But you and Will are good?

Oh, yeah.

I'm glad we got back together.

He's, um, less awful

than the other

guys I've been with.

A glowing compliment.

You know what I mean.

[laughing]

What's he up to?

He was on part of the road trip.

We actually did

a project together,

combining his drawing,

and my photographs.

It was very romantic.

What's the project?

People...

and signage.

Speed limits, stop signs.

Public spaces, private life.

All these little commandments

everywhere.

Still not fully formed yet,

but yeah.

How's life as a Broadway hoofer?

Oh, you know.

No, I don't.

Give me all the juicy details.

I do have this callback

for a series thing.

Leo!

That's huge!

I hope so.

I mean, it would feel

really good to book something.

And then I could say my

oldest friend is the Leo Mark.

Eleanor, stop.

Don't forget about me

when you're famous, okay?

Right.

I mean it.

I won't.

Good.

[joyful music playing]

[car horns blaring]

[birds chirping]

Wow.

It's lovely.

Friends of

friends in high places.

[birds chirping]

Can you..?

And they're just,

-letting us stay here?

-Yeah.

I met her at an arts residency

and Lila said I could stay here

whenever she's not here.

[birds chirping]

Dibs.

[birds chirping]

[bed creaking]

[iPhone typing]

[music playing]

Sit with me.

[sighing]

You should put

on a bathing suit.

The sun feels

so good on my skin.

I'm good as I am.

Suit yourself.

[birds chirping]

[inhaling]

[exhaling]

[phone ringing]

Hey, this is Will.

You know what to do.

[phone locking sound]

[bed creaking]

[knocks on door]

I think we should go shopping.

I've got the urge to splurge.

Sure.

[birds chirping]

Oh dear.

[snorting]

[snickering]

Do you want to try anything on?

I mean, it's a woman's store.

Ahh, right, right.

Sorry. Sorry.

[shop entry bells clinking]

Oh.

She's cute.

Yeah.

Hm.

Remember when we used to go

to Savers?

We'd get,

what, 10 pounds of clothes

for 10 dollars?

I still have some of that stuff.

Some really good sh*t.

Okay.

What do you think?

It's nice.

-Nice?

-Uh--

I'm not an expert

on women's fashion.

It is cute.

-Flattering?

-Sure. Sure.

Well, I like it.

Will you check the tag

and see how much it is?

Woof.

We're not in Savers anymore,

are we, Toto?

No, we're not.

Should we steal it?

-What?

-We can put it in my bag.

Eleanor.

I'm kidding.

Right.

-I'm gonna wear it out.

-Right.

Eleanor?

Were you actually joking?

Of course. We're not in college

anymore.

I can afford it.

Right.

[birds chirping]

[insects chirping]

[food sizzling]

I mean it.

You have family in me.

Just because you refuse to see

it doesn't mean it's not true.

You don't have to be blood

to be family.

Our bond

is deeper than biology.

Whether you like it or not,

we're irrevocably connected.

-Yikes.

-Ah!

Sorry.

Is that for your callback?

Yup.

Dialogue's a little much, huh?

I guess. I don't know.

I think it's kind of nice.

Totally.

It's just nice

to have a character

that's not just

you know,

talking about transitioning

the whole time.

Right. Well, whenever you want

to practice,

I am ready.

I'm going to draw upon my long

and storied career

as a chorus member

from my sixth grade production

of Oklahoma.

Oh, how could I forget.

An acting

legend stands before me.

Don't be shocked

when I act in

circles around you.

-Wine?

-Mm.

I think I should move.

Again?

Again, again, again.

But I thought you liked Durham.

I do. But...

I also don't like

getting stuck places, you know?

What about Will?

Well.

Will is transportable.

Oh, sorry.

Just.

So,

moving?

[spoon clinking]

It's always a thought.

You know me.

Do the thing.

-What thing?

-You know.

Squirrel.

Squirrel!

Oh.

[dishes clinking]

I never told

you this in college,

but, you'd be holding court

at some party,

and I would be

hanging on the edge,

wondering when you were going

to figure out how much cooler

than me you were.

I would fantasize about

doing something, I don't know,

cool enough to

keep your attention.

Like what?

Something impulsive.

Like?

I don't know.

Steal a car,

go for a joyride,

you know,

throw caution to the wind.

We never quite did that.

No, I didn't.

I do remember seeing you,

though, at parties

at your most painfully

socially awkward looking at me.

I always wondered

what you were thinking.

Well, now you know.

Yeah, but it makes sense.

You're an actor.

You're shy in real life,

but on stage, you're...

Whereas with me.

Well, everywhere you go,

it's theater.

Yeah.

I think we should go out.

-Oh, really?

-Yeah. It's happy hour.

We should hit the town.

Have a few drinks.

Have a few laughs.

I haven't heard that one

since college.

Well, it's still true.

The afternoon is young!

Or,

old.

But the night

is still barely nascent.

Yes, but I am very old now.

Let's go.

Please,

please, please, please, please.

-Sure.

-Yes!

[laughing]

[whimsical music playing]

[indistinct chattering]

[dance music playing]

C'mon. Loosen up.

I am loose.

I'm loose.

We've been

hooking up for a year...

A year?

Yeah, but we're just friends.

[snorting]

Oh, really?

Yes, really.

I mean,

if she wanted more I, uh

but, I respect her boundaries.

She wants to

keep it professional.

Except when you're having sex.

Oh, I just want someone

to love me

like Rita Wilson loves

Tom Hanks.

What?

They famously love each other.

A lot.

I read a listicle about it.

Well, you deserve

an epic love like that.

I'd just be happy

with something

a little more stable.

But, um,

yeah, I'm totally fine

with the no strings thing.

Totally.

[indistinct chattering]

My own arts practice

is really informed

by being on the road.

-Uh.

-Not to get too Kerouac,

but the freedom of the open road

really frees me.

[chuckles]

I love Kerouac.

Me too.

I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

Oh, cool.

So what's the longest

you've ever driven in one go?

[chuckles]

15 hours.

Wow.

[music playing]

[phone locking sound]

[laughing]

No, c'mon.

Come on.

Mhm, mhm, mhm.

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

So?

How do they compare

to your boyfriends?

I'm not going to you know,

size wise,

put you in competition.

Mm-hm.

You both have beautiful,

artistic hands.

Um, sorry.

I think I'm going to head out.

Um.

Sorry. He's my ride.

I've gotta go.

Good to meet you.

Bye.

[upbeat music playing]

[vehicles passing]

You know, you could have stayed

if you wanted to.

I know.

I just hate Kerouac. Mm-hm.

And I'd never cheat on Will.

It's just nice

to flirt a little.

[car stereo bass booming]

[crickets chirping]

[footsteps approaching]

You want dinner?

No, I'm good.

I think I'm just hang out here

for a minute.

Okay.

Night sweetie.

[crickets chirping]

[sniffling]

[crickets chirping]

[birds chirping]

Whenever you're ready.

If I hadn't come,

what would you have done?

Something desperate.

No, seriously,

what would you have done?

Paid my respects

and left quietly.

These assholes are the only ones

who want to turn it

into a whole thing.

You can't expect

to just show up here

and no, nothing.

I mean,

you look like Holly Golightly,

for Christ's sake.

-Ugh. Are you sl*t shaming me?

-Rhea.

[dramatic inhale/exhale]

I couldn't turn up to my

estranged father's funeral

looking like sh*t.

Could I?

I know that was a lot.

What they did wasn't cool.

Oh, threatening to have me

arrested for trespassing

wasn't cool?

You know what I mean.

You haven't saved me, A.J.

-That's not...

- Showing up here

didn't fix anything for me.

I just wanted to make sure

you were okay.

Why do you care so much?

Because.

Because you're my family, Rhea.

Right...

Family.

I don't have any family.

[sighing]

I mean it.

You have family in me.

Just because you refuse to see

it doesn't mean it's not true.

You don't have to be blood

to be family.

Our bond is deeper than biology.

Whether you like it or not,

we're irrevocably connected.

Ever since that day

at the crash pad,

we've been linked.

[inhaling]

[stuttering]

-I messed up a line.

-No, you read them

fine.

I just thought,

maybe you're

being a little gentle.

Like.

Like where's the energy,

-the passion?

-Um.

I...

Why don't you try

the monologue again?

But this time, maybe like...

angry.

Why would I be angry?

Well, Rhea's kind of a b*tch,

right?

-Kind of.

-Right.

She, like, doesn't listen.

So you have to

really get through to her.

Like really shake her.

I guess I just kind of

was thinking about AJ as if he,

you know, was a gentle person,

Like when he's making a point he

wouldn't be like, in her face?

Yeah, but I feel

like at this point,

it'd be a really

big breaking point for him.

I think you want

to wow the director.

So you should just try

something different. Right?

Mm, yeah.

Maybe I can try it angrier.

Yeah, just the monologue.

Just like, come on.

Like, really give it to her.

-Come on.

-Yeah.

I'll give

you the line leading in.

[inhales]

[exhales]

I don't have any family.

[exhales]

I mean it.

You have family in me.

Just cause you refuse to see

it doesn't mean it's not true.

Whether you like it or not,

we're irrevocably connected.

Ever since that day

at the crash pad,

we've been linked.

You're not perfect.

Neither am I.

But we're perfect.

In our imperfection,

two warped puzzle pieces

that manage to fit just right.

[exasperated breathing]

You fit me,

and I fit you.

So, yeah, Rhea,

you have family.

May not be those people

in the church, but.

You got family standing

right in front of you.

How was that?

I think it's getting there.

Felt so weird.

We can keep working on it.

f*ck, I really

don't wanna f*ck this up.

You won't.

We'll get there.

And then I say...

We fit.

I guess,

in our own misshapen way.

And now you're supposed to

put your palm against my palm,

and we interlace fingers.

Right.

[music playing]

[birds chirping]

Might not be those people

in that church.

But you have family standing

right in front of you.

So?

Umm...

Umm?

Honestly?

Yes, honestly.

Why are you yelling?

I have literally no idea.

My friend

gave me all these directions

and now I'm totally lost.

-You were fine before.

-f*ck.

Look, just get out of your head

and don't run lines with

her again.

Mm.

I kinda wish it was just you

and me up here.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

That's, sweet.

Is everything okay?

I'm happy to

run lines and stuff,

but the guy that I've

been dating, he wants to be

exclusive.

Oh, yeah.

That's, I mean,

I'm cool with that.

Neither of us wanted anything,

right?

Yeah.

But I guess,

now I want

something with this guy.

So...

I hope that's okay?

Of course.

Thanks for being so chill.

And seriously, run lines

by yourself this weekend.

Bye.

[crickets chirping]

Leo?

Coming.

You okay?

You look like someone died.

No, I'm good.

Farm store?

[vehicles passing]

Oooh, these are gorge

[vehicles passing]

-Potted plant..

-I think it's hibiscus

So...

Put it in your hair.

[chuckles]

Hi.

How are vegetables so expensive?

Inflation?

f*ck.

What?

Just this person

from my acting class is here.

Don't look, Eleanor.

Why can't you say hi?

Because he's on

a really big show right now.

-So?

-And he's really good on it.

Leo?

Leo!

-Oliver!

-Hi.

It's so good to see you.

It's been a minute.

So what are you doing here?

Just set up

here for the weekend.

Oh, Joe's parents

have a house up here,

so we're here,

like, all the time.

Oh, this is my friend Joe.

-Nice to meet you.

-Hi.

You, too.

And I'm Eleanor.

Sorry.

This is my friend Eleanor.

-Well.

-Hi.

Hi, Eleanor, um.

So, how are you?

I'm good. I just.

I should say congratulations

on San Fran house .

I've been watching the show,

and you're so wonderful in it.

Oh, thank you.

You don't have

to say that, though.

Leo was just saying

how good you are in it.

-It's just a great show.

-Wait, wait, wait.

Uh, I'm having, like,

a brain blast moment.

-Um.

-Oh, yeah?

Okay. Uh, no pressure at all.

But you two should totally come

over to my place for,

like, snacks.

I mean, we came here for cheese

and crackers.

It'd be so lovely to share.

I think we have afternoon plans.

They're easily changeable.

Okay, so change them.

Look, we'll stay in the store

a little bit longer,

buy a few things,

and then we'll meet you outside?

-Hell yeah.

-All right. Cool.

Amazing. Okay. See you.

What is your problem?

I guess, I...

He just

was the only other trans guy

in our acting class.

And we weren't that close,

and it kind of felt.

I don't know,

like there was some competition.

Well, you're not in class now,

no need to be competitive.

Yeah.

Are you annoyed with me?

because I seized the moment?

If you don't wanna go,

we can back out.

No, no

actually, thank you.

Let's do the socializing thing.

See?

Serendipity!

Adventure!

[music playing]

[birds chirping]

[engine stopping]

[door closing]

[birds chirping]

Hello.

Wheat and Rye?

Yeah, it's over by the market.

[indistinct chattering]

Whaat.

Oh my god.

Thank you, Joe!

[indistinct chattering]

Don't mind if I do!

-That looks so beautiful.

-So beautiful.

I mean,

I think a lot about,

you know, art's ability to

create meaningful change. Right?

I'm an actor because I believe

movies are powerful engines

for empathy.

But sometimes I wonder what

actually meaningfully changes?

Like, I don't know.

Can you think of a movie

that has changed

the course of history really?

Uh, Cruising ,

you know?

Uh, responsible

for a huge h*m* backlash

against q*eer men.

Oh, no, Joe.

[chuckles]

But I love that movie.

I mean, Al Pacino doing poppers

in those tank tops.

It's ugh...

[laughing]

-I don't know that one,

-Mm-hm.

but I'm sure it's better

than what you've

been auditioning for.

Am I right?

I guess.

You haven't saved me,

AJ. C'mon Leo.

That's not what I...

Showing up here

didn't change anything for me.

I just wanted to make sure

you're okay.

You know the lines?

Yeah, uh.

I auditioned.

Wow, that is.

Yeah. It's just so crazy.

We went in for the same part.

Oh, they already passed on me.

Yeah.

-So sorry.

-It's fine.

I'm actually really glad

that you're up for it.

When Leo first read it,

he was so quiet.

But I'm trying to work with him

and, you know,

try to get him to be

a little angry you know?

I kind of thought of AJ as a

sort of gentle guy?

Huh.

Joe, remind me

of the name of this cheese?

Oh, Camembert.

Do you eat this?

-Yeah.

-Yeah, you can.

Why we didn't we talk

about this kind of stuff

when we were in class together?

I don't know.

I mean,

we should've just

been doing this

the whole the time.

Yeah, right.

Leo said you guys are a little

competitive with each other.

Eleanor.

No, it's true. We were.

I mean, we were competing

for, like, the scraps of roles

they were throwing our way, but

it all feels really stupid now.

It does.

Well, we're talking now.

-Cheers?

-Cheers.

Oh my God. This

pool is everything.

It was. It was. It was, uh,

actually a little traumatizing.

Maybe I'm not ready

to keep this conversation going.

Uh, Eleanor,

we've totally been ignoring you.

What about you?

What do you do?

Uh, I'm a photographer.

I teach during the year,

and I travel every summer.

Okay, that's enviable.

It's nice to be

free in that way.

So what college do you teach at?

Uh, Eleanor, teaches at this

like, really amazing

high school.

Oh, that's so cool.

I mean,

it must be really interesting

-to work with people that age.

-Yup.

Eleanor has been living in

Durham for like, two years now.

Has this really cool boyfriend.

Who's also an artist,

and they went

on this road trip together.

-Yup.

-Ok, how was that?

Really romantic.

He painted and I photographed.

But I thought he was drawing?

Oh, drawing.

Yeah, he usually

is a painter, but

because we were on the road,

he was drawing

because of

the supplies and stuff.

I was just texting

him yesterday, and he said

he was really happy to be

back home with his materials.

-Yeah, drawing.

-Yes.

Uh, would anyone like some wine?

Oliver,

do you want to come with me?

-I can help.

-No, no. You're good. We got it.

[birds chirping]

Um.

You're being weird.

How?

I just feel

like you're not being yourself.

And what is me being myself,

Eleanor?

Just seems like

you're performing,

Maybe I'm just...

having a good time

and feeling loose with them.

Then why aren't you

like that with me?

I....

I have to pee.

I am.

[crickets chirping]

[music playing]

[phone ringing]

-Hey, this is Will...

-m*therf*cker.

You were right,

I was being weird.

Good thing you know

my love language.

[chuckling]

Let's just have fun.

Mmm.

[water rippling]

[laughing]

C'mon, Leo.

Are you serious right now?

What?

Ok, what's with the t-shirts?

What do you mean?

I feel like you're going to

drown with all those clothes on.

Eleanor.

What?

I'm wearing a shirt

'cause I'm binding.

Oh, my God.

I'm so sorry, um.

It's fine.

Why didn't you tell me?

[water splashing]

More wine?

-Mhmm.

-Sure.

[exhales]

[laughing]

Stop.

Stop. No...

Seriously,

I have to stop laughing

cause my stomach is hurting.

Okay, okay. No more

dirty knock-knock jokes for us.

Is there more wine?

Uh, t...

Are you sure you want more?

Yes.

I guess I'm driving.

That would be great.

-Anyone else want?

-Um.

what is that?

I think okay.

Bigger glass.

Thank you.

[laughing]

[indistinct conversation]

[birds chirping]

Uh, I told the entire auditorium

I was bisexual,

during my campaign

-for student body president.

-What?

And, of course, I lost, um.

-Oh my god, why.

-Yeah, thank you.

I don't know why I the

revelation would help my chances

of being student body president

in 2008, in Chatham, New York.

But it's...

Wow!

I thought you were g*y.

No, uh, bisexual, q*eer, both.

Eleanor: Oliver, what are you?

Oh, uh, I'm q*eer.

Everyone's q*eer.

Except for Leo.

Ummm, I'm not straight, no.

You're not?

I'm q*eer.

Didn't know that.

Well, I'm just

grateful to be able to live

a genuine q*eer life.

That part.

Sometimes I wish I was q*eer.

Oh, really.

But do you think maybe

I'm queering heterosexuality?

Maybe?

[chuckles]

Well, maybe I am q*eer.

Maybe you are.

You would be the one to know.

Well, remember when

we hooked up, squirrel?

-Eleanor.

-Well, do you?

Making out for less than

a minute before you passed

out drunk?

So, what? It doesn't count?

Leo: I guess it counts.

I guess you're q*eer.

Eleanor: See, I'm q*eer.

I'm q*eer too,

like why the f*ck not?

I just want to be like,

in the club.

I want to get naked.

Oliver: Is she going to be okay?

Yeah, she's going to be fine.

-Just a little

-Okay.

too much day drinking.

-We've all been there.

-Yeah.

Well, we should head out.

-Thanks again.

-Bye.

Did you have fun?

I did, actually.

Oliver's...

Oliver is kind of

a blowhard.

I thought he was nice.

I thought him

and Joe were smart.

Yeah, they talk about

ideas.

[laughing]

I have an idea.

What is it?

I forgot.

Okay.

[sighing]

[crickets chirping]

[groaning]

[toilet flushing]

Eleanor?

You may enter.

[sighing]

Are you all right?

Never better.

Anything I can do to help?

Sit.

Do you still like me?

Of course I do.

Cause I was a terrible brute

tonight, wasn't I?

I still like you.

Uh. Okay.

That's good.

[exhales]

[vomiting]

Ugh.

I think I left my phone

at their house.

Oof.

I'll pick it up in the morning.

Ugh.

[sheet rustling]

[crickets chirping]

[snoring]

[birds chirping]

[birds chirping]

[vehicle approaching]

-Morning.

-Morning.

I have her phone.

Thank God.

Uh, do you want some coffee?

Oh,

-sure.

-Okay.

I'm not much of a hiking guy.

No, you should definitely.

I mean, the path is pretty clear

on the property.

You just have to, like, look out

for the trail markers,

and you should be good.

Are you sure?

Yeah, I mean,

we're leaving today,

but I know Joe would be happy if

you swung by for just

a little hike.

Maybe we will

I have to think of something

to do with her.

[laughing]

Oh, I'm sorry about yesterday.

She's,

a lot.

It's all good. Really.

I mean,

she's maybe

a little territorial?

Territorial?

Over you?

Protective, too.

Huh.

I think in kind of a sweet way.

If a little...

A little.

-A little.

-Yeah.

I just, yeah.

I still am sorry

for all the unhinged stuff

she said.

You know,

I don't really mind her chaos.

Oh, really?

Well, then maybe

you and I should switch places

for the weekend

because, oh, she's exhausting.

Maybe that's why

she's your friend.

What?

Maybe, you like

a little bit of dysfunction.

Okay, um.

Former classmate.

And now my psychoanalyst, um...

For the record, I like simple.

I like boring.

That's,

that's good.

Is it?

Yeah. Because,

I'm boring.

You absolutely are not.

I don't wanna...

I'm usually

a lot smoother than this.

But, um,

can I, can I kiss you?

Me?

Yeah. You.

Are you and Joe...?

Oh, no. We're just friends.

I've been wanting to do that

since that terrible,

terrible class.

Really?

Yeah.

And I'm glad to know

that you like boring,

because I'd very much like

to do something boring

with you sometime.

Can I call you this week?

I would really like that.

Cool. Me too.

So you should stick around.

Enjoy the pool, hang out.

I'm going to head back up.

We got to head out soon.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-All right.

Have fun.

[giggles]

[water rippling]

Thanks for the coffee.

Thanks for the kiss.

[music playing]

You were gone for a while.

I was getting

your phone, remember?

Ah, thank you. My hero.

I got you an iced coffee

from that place down the road.

It's a little melted, though.

I just had a coffee.

But it's my peace offering.

I'm sorry about last night.

Apology accepted.

But maybe, don't you think

those guys are just,

like, a tiny bit pretentious?

[chuckles]

Eleanor, seriously.

You know,

you sound like Holden Caulfield.

Fine. Fine.

I am sorry

for getting so drunk last night.

I honestly don't remember much,

but I'm sorry

for whatever happened.

Okay. Thanks.

Cheers.

[slurping]

Leo: You have family in me.

You have family in me.

Family in me.

[door knocking]

Ready?

Yup.

What time is it?

Time for our big hike.

Ok...

Are you okay?

You seem weird.

Just tired.

Do you want to run lines

when we get back?

Oh, no. I mean,

no, thank you.

Just, uh,

appreciate it though.

[crickets chirping]

[music playing]

[birds chirping]

I thought of a movie

that changed history.

Oh yeah?

The Thin Blue Line.

Errol Morris

literally solved a crime

that exonerated an innocent man.

Huh. Okay.

What happened, um, afterwards?

He made a lot of money

doing computer

and beer commercials.

The death row guy?

Errol Morris.

Right.

Which way?

[birds chirping]

This way.

I don't see any trail markers.

Trust me.

Can we just stick to the trail?

[exhales]

This is the trail, silly.

[breathing heavily]

Can we take a little break?

Yeah.

[breathing heavily]

We're having fun, right?

I never go on hikes.

That's your whole problem.

-What?

-You have such a rigid view

of yourself.

You say you never go on hikes,

but here you are,

going on a hike.

You just don't try anything new

unless someone pushes

you to do it.

[breathing heavily]

You okay?

[birds chirping]

You know,

maybe what you think of

as me being a coward...

I never said you were a coward!

Is actually

me just having

a little structure in my life

because my whole life is a risk.

And I don't need to, you know,

act out like some theater kid

just to prove a point.

[leaves rustling]

Oh, so everywhere

I go is theater, right?

Yep. Just without the stage.

I'm a photographer.

Oh, right.

And where is the camera?

Why are

you being such an as*h*le?

If you don't want to keep

hiking, then go back to the

house.

Why am I being an as*h*le?

Go back to the house.

Where the hell are we?

I think we're lost.

Yeah, no sh*t.

No, we're, like, lost,

metaphorically lost.

And actually lost.

Mm.

What are you doing?

I'm going to navigate us

out of here.

Not just metaphorically.

I don't have service, do you?

Don't worry about it.

Can you check

if you have service?

Eleanor!

What?

[music playing]

I only have 3% battery.

I think we're close.

Oh yeah, Eleanor? Where are we?

See, we're on the trail.

Yeah, but do we even know

if we're going

in the right direction.

It's a loop.

Okay. My phone just died.

Are you texting right now?

No.

If you are texting Will

with our source of light.

I'm not texting Will. I haven't

texted Will all weekend

because I'm trying to be present

with you.

You haven't texted Will

all weekend.

Let's just try

to get out of here, huh?

So you haven't

texted him at all.

-No!

-No?

No.

Is that, like,

normal for you guys?

And weren't you just saying

that you were texting him

yesterday?

Okay, busybody, we,

we broke up. Okay?

The f*ck, Eleanor.

So you've just been lying to me

all weekend?

Well, you hide sh*t from me.

You didn't want

to take your shirt off

and get in the water. Why?

Because you didn't want me to

know that you hadn't had top

surgery.

-Am I right?

-That is completely different,

-Eleanor.

-Oh, is it?

You're so f*cking clueless!

I'm not clueless.

You just don't clue me in.

This isn't about me.

This is about you,

lying to me, all weekend.

What do you want me to say?

I want you to tell me

why you're not telling me sh*t.

Okay.

[crickets chirping]

We were on the road trip

for two days,

and I picked some stupid fight

about directions,

and he just f*cking left. Okay?

He hitchhiked back home.

I mean, why should I admit to

you that I'm 29 f*cking

years old,

and I can't seem

to keep a relationship

for longer than three months.

And you have your, your head

so far up your own a*s

with your shitty little callback

for your shitty little TV show.

And all you care about is

impressing pretentious assholes

that you don't even like.

Wow, Eleanor.

Just because you don't like

something

doesn't mean it's shitty.

What?

It's not like we're in college

anymore.

I don't need to

follow you around

and just mirror back

all your thoughts and opinions.

Okay. That's not--

I know I'm probably not supposed

to say this

because it's problematic

or whatever,

cause I'm not allowed to have

any feelings about

your transition.

But I miss how things were.

When you...

Who you were before.

You really,

aren't allowed

to have feelings about that.

Like...

At all.

So f*cked, Eleanor!

I miss you.

I just feel so distant

from you now.

It's not because I'm trans.

It's really not.

I don't know,

I don't know. What.

I shouldn't be here.

I shouldn't be

in the f*cking tick-infested,

Blair Witch Woods,

fighting with you.

Thank God. The house.

-Are you sure?

-Yes, I'm sure.

Just tell me you didn't lose

the car keys.

I didn't

Leo.

Leo!

I love you.

No, you don't, Eleanor.

Kind of ironic, I guess.

Seeing as it was me

keeping secrets all those years,

being in love with you.

And you,

pretending you didn't know.

Although, I mean...

You knew. You must've known.

I didn't...know.

I mean, I didn't know know...

You liked having me around

as your little lapdog and...

I'm done.

I am done.

That's so unfair.

Is it?

Can you?

[beeping]

[beeping]

[crickets buzzing]

[door slamming]

I mean it.

You have family in me.

f*ck.

[glass breaking]

You okay?

Yeah. Just,

clumsy.

[sniffling]

Let me help.

[glass clinking]

It's our last night.

It is.

You shouldn't be drinking alone.

I heard you.

Hmm?

Like I heard you.

I was f*cked up.

But can I say something?

Maybe less f*cked up?

Sure.

I miss us.

You miss us?

You're the best friend

I've ever had.

Like my best, best friend.

And I feel like,

you haven't

been acting that way?

Or something?

Or, like,

you were my best friend.

And now you're just

someone else?

I don't know.

I'm still me, Eleanor.

Definitely

still me.

That's good.

Maybe it's just...

I wish I weren't still me.

Maybe if you just

accepted you a little more,

it would help.

I mean,

I always liked you as you are.

Just, it's like

when you're not happy being you,

that you become a little bit

too much of you or something.

Yeah.

I liked following you around

in college.

You led me

out of the hole I was in.

And you still do.

Thank you.

[laughing]

Eleanor.

I think you're confused.

[exhales]

I am confused.

By you.

[sighing]

Okay.

You are something.

[footsteps receding]

[door closing]

[crickets chirping]

[exhales]

[bed creaking]

[sighing]

Can I?

[exhales]

Are you?

No. Yeah. I'm okay.

Could you maybe, um,

a little

to the left?

Sure.

Yeah.

My hand is cramping.

Oh, what, um, should we?

Maybe if, um...

Yeah.

[sighing]

[moaning]

[sighing]

Did you just fake it?

No.

Yes.

Okay.

[sighing]

I guess I should

probably go.

Yeah.

[heaving breathing]

Eleanor.

[laughing]

Oh my god, Leo.

I'm so sorry.

That was so horrifying.

Have you ever had worse sex?

No. Even the first time

wasn't this bad.

[laughing]

At least it was brief.

Ugh.

And now we know.

We really know.

And it will never happen again.

Unless we're stuck in a cave,

or on a deserted island.

Or on a long cruise ship trip.

Or if they make

another Avengers movie

that's 3 hours long

and we're stuck in the last row.

And we run out of popcorn.

[inhales]

[exhales]

So, I didn't

ruin everything?

No.

I just...

I did the thing where

I sabotage a good thing.

And I've just been driving

around for the past couple

of weeks,

aiming my camera aimlessly at

sh*t and not pressing

the shutter.

And you have a whole life

that I know nothing about.

And I know it's not your fault.

I am a little clueless.

But I'm learning, right?

We're all learning.

[sighing]

You want to

know something weird?

Another secret?

Kind of.

You know how much of a loser

I feel like I am?

You're not a loser.

No, don't try

to make me feel better.

But here's the thing.

I'm a f*cking good teacher.

[sobbing]

Like bizarrely good at it.

And my whole life plan

was like, no,

I'm an artist.

And I was somehow embarrassed

that I became

a high school teacher.

But I admit it,

I f*cking love my job.

[exhales]

[sniffing]

That's awesome.

The pay's sh*t.

Yeah.

It's exhausting.

The principal's a scumbag.

-That sucks.

-Did I mention the pay is sh*t?

You did.

I'm so sorry

for blowing everything up.

I'm sorry too.

[exhales]

Why do you care so much?

[chuckles]

Because...

Because you're my family, Rhea.

Right.

Family.

I don't have any family.

I mean it.

You have family in me.

[exhales]

Just cause

you refuse to see it,

doesn't mean it's not true.

You don't have to be blood

to be family.

Our bond is deeper than biology.

[inhales]

Whether you like it or not,

we're irrevocably connected.

Ever since that day

at the crash pad,

we've been linked.

You're not perfect.

[exhales]

Neither am I.

But,

we're perfect

in our imperfection.

Two warped puzzle pieces

that manage to fit just right

You fit me.

And I fit you.

So...

Yeah, Rhea.

You have family.

May not be those people

in that church, but...

you have family

standing right in front of you.

I was wrong.

That's how you should do it.

Gentle.

You're really good, Leo.

Thank you.

[music playing]

[laughing]

[birds chirping]

[birds twittering]

[engine starting]

[insects chittering]

[birds chirping]

[water rippling]

I wouldn't want it

any other way

There's not much I could say

A lot of things have changed

It isn't quite the same

I thought about you

every night and day

Not talking's pretty strange

We're on a different page

It's healthier this way

But when I look at you

I see an old friend

I see an old friend

passing through

And when I think of you

I wanna be friends

I wanna be friends with you

With you

[door creaking]

Leo Mark?

Years pass and

I pick up the phone

To see where this could go

How could we ever know

So let's just take it slow

Tears fall

It seems that we've outgrown

What kept us on our own

It's really come to show

There's no we can go

But when I look at you

I see an old friend

I see an old friend

passing through

And when I think of you

I wanna be friends

I wanna be friends with you

But when I look at you

I see an old friend

I see an old friend

passing through

And when I think of you

I wanna be friends

I wanna be friends

I wanna be friends

I wanna be friends