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02x12 - The Big Green Mile

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H.". Aired: August 11, 2013 – June 28, 2015.*
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Told from the perspective of an online reality show created by Rick Jones to foster public acceptance of the Hulk as a hero and not a monster.

02x12 - The Big Green Mile

Post by bunniefuu »

Security alert.

Prisoner's arriving through Gate B.

Hey, Hulkees, don't have much time, so let me get you up to speed.

Regular viewers know that The Leader totally framed us for trashing Vista Verde.

Not cool.

And things got worse when we got blamed for wrecking the S.

H.

I.

E.

L.

D.

Tri-carrier.

Way not cool.

To prevent any further damage, we surrendered to Nick Fury, the head of S.

H.

I.

E.

L.

D.

Man, dude is serious.

Now, they're throwing us in jail, and not just any jail.

They're putting us in "the Vault," the maximest security prison of them all, built to hold the worst of the worst Super-villains.

And we've put most of them here, so they're not gonna be happy to see us.

One way or another, we've got to find a way to prove we're innocent.

All right, you gamma-freaks, prisoner processing will be on your right.

Uh, so this is a lot of firepower.

You ain't kiddin', Jones.

Make sure you get my good side.

Let's go, prisoners.

The warden's waiting downstairs, and he hates to be kept waiting.

All right, Hulks.

Move out.

Oh, how charming.

Reinforced concrete, exo-carbon steel bars, and a bottomless abyss? Whoa.

Hey! Gotcha.

- Ow! - Back in line, prisoner.

Ugh! I'm just gonna say this.

I'm not enjoying prison.

I knew it! They're putting us into the max cell block with all the super-villains.

Oh, no.

Absorbing Man.

Wrecker.

Thunderball.

Bulldozer.

Titania.

And Piledriver, too.

What did I tell ya? The worst of the worst! Sir, the new prisoners are here.

He's the warden? That's Warden Abomination to you.

Welcome to the Vault.

Nick Fury would never put you in charge of this place.

He didn't.

The Army insisted I be made warden during your stay.

After all, who knows your strengths and weaknesses better than I? I'm sure you remember my unmanned Stark sentries.

More Hulkbusters? The first thing I did was replace all the puny human guards.

Your weapons will be safely locked away, - but you can keep your cameras.

- Oh, really? Hey, that's cool.

They've been reprogrammed to transmit directly into the Vault security system.

Okay, that's not cool.

Get used to it.

You're in my house now.

Guards, escort our guests to their cells.

Heads up, Wrecking Crew.

Dead Hulks walkin'.

Gonna mess you up! Welcome to the party, Hulks.

Better sleep with one eye open.

I'm a law-abiding patriot.

Makes me sick to be locked up with these scum.

Especially with Emil Blonsky turning the key.

They may be criminals, but no one's all bad.

Everyone deserves a chance to change.

Hulk's dreamin'.

There's not a drop of good in these creeps.

It's humiliating to be on the same side of the bars with them.

I've seen prison movies.

I know what happens to nice guys like me in the joint.

I'm gonna get shanked! I don't even know what that is.

Get comfortable, Hulks.

You check into the Vault, but you can never leave.

Not alive anyway.

Abomination's itching for any excuse to punish us.

So until we can find out what he's up to, I ordered the team to behave like model prisoners.

Skaar hate cage! Easy, Skaar.

That's not the way to get out of here.

But Skaar hate cage.

So whatcha readin', celly? Legal casebooks.

I'm working on a framework for my defense.

Let me give you a hand.

- Hey! - You're wasting your time if you think these law books are gonna get you out of here, sister.

Is that so? I have a law degree, sister.

If you applied yourself, instead of living a life of crime, you wouldn't be stuck in a place like this.

Superhero with a law degree, but you're still locked up with me, Counselor.

At least the road I took to get here was fun.

Whoa, cool down, Red.

Cool down? I'm a decorated w*r hero.

I shouldn't be locked up with these low-lifes! I mean "cool down" as in you're heating up our cell like an oven.

It just burns me up to think of all the real bad guys, like The Leader, running around loose.

I'm working on an escape-way an-play.

Escape plan? - What do you know about - Zip it.

Zip it.

Abomination's watching us, remember? If I know Blonsky, he's got bigger plans than just being a prison warden.

You got that right, Ross.

Ah, Hulk.

Step into my office.

What'd you drag me up here for? Someone wishes to speak with you.

How you holdin' up, Hulk? Well, my bunk's too small, shower has bugs, and Oh, yeah, did I mention we're in prison for a crime we didn't commit? Personally, I don't believe you're responsible.

But I can't get you out of there without proof.

As you for you, Blonsky, I want your assurance No, make that a guarantee the Hulks won't be harmed.

Director Fury, you have my word.

The Hulks will be treated well as long as they follow the rules.

But you're not going to follow the rules.

I think you're going to cause a riot.

And when your good friend Director Fury arrives, you will destroy him in rage.

Tragic, no? Being around all these villains turns you into one.

Framing me is one thing, but if you think you're gonna get me to go bad, you're dead wrong.

Just because we're locked up like villains doesn't mean we have to become villains.

All right, lunch time.

Maybe this won't be so bad.

Nope.

I wouldn't feed this to Devil Dinosaur.

Food squishy.

Watch it, junior! Why, you bald punk! - No, Red, don't give them a reason.

- Well, I wasn't hungry anyway.

Hulk's right.

We can't warn Fury about Abomination's plan if we end up in solitary.

You gonna eat this, ya big green monster? No? Well, how about this, huh? Ya big monster.

Help yourself, Creel.

How 'bout you, Corporal? Do you like the chow? - Oops.

You know what, why don't you eat it? S.

M.

A.

S.

H.

ers, no! I've been waiting for this.

It's a set up.

Get ready, Hulks.

Let's wreck 'em! Hey, sister, that's no way to get time off for good behavior.

You wanna win a food fight? You gotta throw a knuckle sandwich.

Ah, finally awake.

As you can see, you're in solitary.

But don't worry, you won't be alone for long.

Ow! Ow! Lights out.

Lights around our cell doors are down.

Let's move, Wrecking Crew.

Hey, look.

It's our tools of the trade.

Time to tuck you in, Hulky.

Well, what can I do for you boys? Abomination wanted us to welcome you to the villain club.

So, welcome.

Someone hit me? Try again, I might feel it.

Oh, is there a fly in here? Laugh this off, Greeny! - Uh! - I'm no fan of Big Green, but that's fighting too dirty.

Bad guys not fight fair.

Hulk's hanging tough, but not even he can take this beating for long.

Tell me about this escape plan.

- What is it, Blonsky? - There has been an incident.

Hulk wishes to see you in person.

I'm on my way.

No outrage? No threats? What are you up to, Ross? - Is he gone? - Yeah, baby.

Keep an eye out, Jones.

Jones! Clever boy.

I know what you're thinking, how did we escape? Rewind.

So, I re-programed my camera to play back a loop of us in our cell, and then I went into camo mode.

And when a Hulkbuster came to do a bed-check and noticed one of us was missing Kabow! Kabop! Kablow! Kababababow! Whoa! Hold still, will ya? I am! Ow! Punch it, not me! Yeah, I can't believe that worked, either.

Hulkbusters, escape in progress.

Target the Hulks and only the Hulks.

Lethal force is authorized.

Sounds like comrade grumpy pants is onto us.

Heh.

Yeah, well Now we can do a little fighting back.

I'm reading your alarm, Blonsky.

Status report.

Just as I feared, Director Fury.

The agents of S.

M.

A.

S.

H.

have started a full-scale riot.

We've lost containment! Our ETA is six minutes.

Can you hold out until then? The situation is dire.

We may have to resort to extreme measures.

Blonsky, no Having you locked up in here with us is a dream come true.

You don't get it.

I'm not locked up with you.

You're locked up with me! Yeah! Hulk smash! Oh, no.

This is what he was afraid of and what Abomination wanted.

Excellent.

Get back! You tin-plated shoats.

A-b*mb slash! - You know, now I get the sword thing.

- You bust out scruffy.

I'll get Jen.

Time to initiate the purge.

Hang on, Skaar, I'll get you out of there.

I think this belongs to you.

- Now Skaar shank.

- Oh, that's what that means.

What about her? She's got reading to do.

Let's go save Greeny's bacon.

Someone ate Hulk's bacon.

Whoa, now, Greeny.

Relax.

Simmer down, hoss.

Easy, cousin.

Chill.

Calm down.

Sorry.

I I lost control.

Abomination's making his play for S.

H.

I.

E.

L.

D.

We gotta warn Fury.

Now what, earthquake? No, but something bad.

Great.

Place is locked down and we're already against Hulkbusters, villains and Abomination, Greeny.

We still playin' nice guy? We have no choice now.

We have to escape.

Come on! This door leads out.

Help me pull.

Hang on! Ah! Come on, baby! Let's finish these losers once and for all.

You sure about this, Carl? Don't go soft on me, toots.

What you need is a little steel in your spine.

So the emergency riot failsafe is to rocket the prison into space? Look out! Seriously, can we get a break? Whoa! Take cover! Carl! Creel, grab on.

Why'd you save me? 'Cause you're not a bad guy, you just do a lot of bad stuff.

Blonsky took the escape jet.

Well, if he's bailing, something really bad is about to happen, right? Gamma core detonation in T-minus five minutes.

- Uh, we go boom? - Big time, shaggy.

Blonsky took the only way off this Roman candle.

That scaly creep betrayed us! And you're surprised, why? What's going on there? Why was the purge initiated? It's Abomination.

He wants to destroy us all, including you.

He's on my six tight.

Ah, today I finish the job The Leader and I began back in Vista Verde.

The total annihilation of Hulk and the agents of S.

M.

A.

S.

H.

We can't evacuate you, Hulk.

Take care of yourself.

We'll shut down the reactor.

We'll help.

- Right, Carl? - No.

- Hey! - Hulk saved your life, after you ganged up on him.

Do something good for once in your life.

Gamma core detonation in T-minus two minutes.

Can we stop the countdown? It's too late.

He set the reactor to overload.

We have to eject the whole thing.

Red, Jen, eject the core! Everyone else, smash! Titania, watch it! Thanks.

Guess I owe you one.

Don't you forget it! Peek-a-boo! Peek-a-boo! Skaar shank! Nice! Hmm.

I wasn't briefed on this panel.

When in doubt, push the big one.

Gamma core overload in T-minus 30 seconds.

Get it out of here, hurry.

We can't.

The release mechanism has been sabotaged.

Blonsky thought of everything.

Not everything.

I'll buy you g*ons some time.

It's working.

He's slowing the overload.

Quick, release the clamps.

Got you! There's more than one way to skin a Hulk.

You're outgunned, Blonsky.

This is far from over.

Put your hands down.

While Blonsky was uploading his security footage of you Hulks at the Vault, we hacked in and saw what really happened at Vista Verde.

You were framed by the Abomination.

Uh, yeah, that's what we've been saying all along.

But now, we've got proof.

Plus with your heroic actions today, you'll be cleared.

Probably get a medal.

- Innocent! - Hoorah! - Oh, yeah! - No more cage! Finally.

The remaining prisoners will be transferred to a new facility.

Hold it, Creel.

You helped save all our lives today.

I won't forget that.

I was trying to save my life! The rest was coincidence.

Next time we meet, we're enemies.

Don't forget that, either.

You did good today.

And I kind of liked it.

Maybe I'll try it again someday.

If you stay out of trouble, I'll try to help with your parole.

Thanks, Counselor.

See ya in court.

The greatest heroes aren't the strongest or the best fighters, but the ones who inspire others to become better people.

Hulk out