02x01 - And a Blind Man Shall Lead Them

[bunniefuu]

Doom! Show yourself, you coward.

Where's Susan?

Ow! Watch it, hothead.

You're cooking my corns.

Uh! This is pretty uninspired.

The big, bad Doctor Doom kidnapping me

just to lure us to your wretched island.

I'm sorry to involve you in the timeworn

damsel-in-distress cliché.

I feel the only thing missing

is the onrushing train.

However, sometimes expediency

outweighs originality.

Now, with your permissión

Blast! This thing has neutralized

my force field.

But if I can still

project invisibility

Oof! Why, you mangy metal maggot!

Well, I'll be a blue-eyed

- Hey, Stretcho! I found Susie.

- What? Where, Ben?

In the basement.

- Where's the entrance?

- Funny you should ask.

Well! A neuro-stimulator.

- Sue, darling!

- We've got to get off this island.

Doom set that nuclear b*mb

to go off any second.

Hmm. If I can defuse its detonator

Hey! You heard the lady, Stretcho.

Time's a-wastin'.

Let's hustle our little blue tushies!

But

Doom's ship!

It's going to be a long walk home now.

Yeah, but if we stay at this rumble

we're gonna be the Fire-Roasted Four.

Goodbye, Fantastic Four.

Time to join the choir invisible.

[cackles]

Doctor Richards? Doctor Richards.

Stand back! Sue! Ben! Johnny!

- Huh?

- What's going on?

My arms! They won't stretch!

Flame on!

Nothing's happening.

I can't make myself invisible.

Argh! All right. Who short-sheeted me?

Hey! When did this come down?

- All of you, calm down, please.

- [Ben] Who is this guy?

You're in the infirmary of a navy sub.

We picked you up at sea yesterday.

The infirmary? We're at sea?

Ah! I remember now, darling:

Doctor Doom's island. The b*mb.

[Reed] And the radiation

somehow disabled our powers.

Yeah! And turned one of us

from a chunk to a hunk!

Oh,! Sorry, Susie!

But without our powers,

the Fantastic Four is

Kaputski.

- You have got to get some rest.

- No time, darling.

I've duplicated the neuro-stimulator

Doom used to hold you prisoner.

If I can reverse its action I just might

be able to restore our powers.

Sounds good to me. Although, frankly,

Ben seems a lot happier without them.

- Oh! Excuse me. Didn't notice you.

- Hey.

Oh. Thanks, buddy. You don't know

how good that is to hear you say that.

Here you go, Alicia, baby.

Tutti-frutti for my cutie!

- Oh, I'm having such a good time today.

- Yeah.

But with your powers gone, what will

become of you and your friends?

Reed's working on some stuff.

We're gonna be fine.

- I'm not so sure.

- Hey, beautiful, enough fretting!

Let's have some fun. I'm back to normal,

look! I'm loving every second of it.

Hey, and speaking of love, baby

Mommy, look at that

big ugly orange thing!

Hey! What

Well, that kinda puts the kibosh

on the mood of the moment, don't it?

I know how you feel, pal.

I know just how you feel.

[Doctor Doom] A toast, Boris.

To Reed Richards and the Fantastic Four,

who have of late passed on

to the undiscovered country.

Bereft of their interference, I'm free

to bring much-needed peace and order

to a worid gone mad.

- Master.

- You may speak.

Our sources report the Fantastic Four

survived the liquidation of Island TR5.

Reed Richards, alive?

Your plan to destroy them

has failed, master.

Failed.

Doctor Doom does not fail.

And without their powers,

the Fantastic Four will be helpless

If their old enemies found out.

I understand.

[Alicia] Oh, Matt. You've always

been there for me in the past.

I'm frightened for my friends

and hoped you might have some advice.

- I actually might be able to help

- Hey! Listen, Mr. Lawyer Man.

I let myself be dragged here

'cause it was important to Alicia.

And in case you hadn't noticed, pal,

you're blind.

I don't see how you're gonna exactly be

a big help to the Fantastic Four.

We never asked for no hand-outs before.

And we're not gonna start now!

- Matt, I'm sorry.

- It's all right.

Sometimes we blind people see things

more clearly than those with sight.

All right, now, don't worry.

I've got a friend who can help.

A very close friend.

- [Reed] OK, Ben, this way.

- Gotcha, pal!

Aw, nuts!

I'll never get the hang of this

crummy outfit. Why do I have to wear it?

Because its hydraulic exoskeleton will

give some semblance of your old powers.

The same way Johnny has his flame rig

and Sue her invisibility simulator.

Aw, well, jeez. I feel like a muppet!

Okay, I'm sorry, but until we find

a way to get our real powers back

we don't let our enemies know

how vulnerable we are. Or

Or something like that will happen?

Aw, gee-whiz.

Hey!

I can't hold it!

I've got it covered.

I think I've finally

got this doohickey figured out.

Oh!

Uh, you'd better check on that

warranty.

[Susan] We've got to get out of here!

I can't see! This smoke's too thick.

I'll try to light the way. Follow me.

- This a private party?

- Daredevil!

Alicia's friend Murdock asked me

to keep an eye on you.

[Ben, coughing] I told that shyster

we didn't need his help.

[Johnny] Yeah! The day the FF

can't handle things

Now, if everyone has had their say

Grab hands and follow my lead.

[Reed] Amazing, Daredevil.

How did you find your way through?

Call it a gift.

It came with the red suit.

- Aw, nuts! Look up there!

- [Johnny] It's Doctor Doom's airship!

That's who has been spit-balling us!

[Susan] Doom's taken over our building!

He's in my lab!

He must have used my biogenetic tracker

to find us.

Yeah? Maybe it was that note you left

saying "We're at the warehouse. "

Oh, man. Take a look at that!

The Fantastic Four will now perish,

by the hand of Doctor Doom!

[Reed] We're not totally helpless.

- We've still got the

- [Susan] Oh, no!

[Reed] Fantasticar.

- [Susan] Doom's got remote control!

- [Johnny] Eat dirt!

[Reed] Head for the garage!

[Daredevil] Heads up, Ben.

Thanks, pal! That would have been

one ugly hero sandwich.

Whoa!

[Doom] Hmm. Impressive but futile.

It's curious:

they haven't counterattacked.

No flaming torch. No annoyingly clever

Reed Richards. Why?

[Reed] Doom's controlling our arsenal.

We're sitting ducks wherever we go.

Doom is using my vortex ray!

This way!

[Johnny] How do you do that?

[Daredevil] Try to make it to the Baxter

Building. I'll draw Doom's fire.

Hey! Doctor Doombell! This way.

Fire in the hole.

Where is Richards? And who is this

meddlesome fool who fights for them?

Unless of course

they can't fight for themselves.

Of course! My b*mb. The radiation.

They've lost their powers.

Finally, Reed Richards

[chuckles] on a silver platter!

[Johnny] They've evacuated

the building.

And the mayor is letting us

have first crack at the Doomster.

If I can retime the destabilizing

ionizer on the neuro-stimulator

it just might be able to decay

and reverse the radiation effects.

- If we can distract him until

- Say no more! Daredevil's the name.

Distraction's my game.

And if I don't make it,

it's been a real slice of heaven, g*ng.

- Hang loose, heroes!

- [Ben] Long john-wearing show-off.

Funny. A lot of people

react that way to lawyers.

- [Susan] We're clear.

- [Doom] Commendable.

Doom's dynamited the stairwell!

- Then let's just take our elevator.

- No way! He'll hear the alarm.

That baby's rigged to blow!

We have no choice. Let's hope

Daredevil keeps him too busy to notice.

Fool! Your reflexes are fast.

Unfortunately not fast enough!

It's not exactly hi-tech, but hey,

who's complaining?

So! The elevator!

Their miserable lives

can now be counted in seconds.

Farewell, my Fantastic-less Four!

Doom's activated the detonator!

The elevator's gonna blow!

[Ben] This elevator's

gonna be pixie dust,

yet Stretcho is playin'

with the buttons!

I looped the circuit back up to Doom.

Now let's get out before he resets it!

Ow! Jeez! Why does everything

always have to be such a close call?

Thirty-fourth floor.

Doom is right over our heads.

- [Daredevil] Doom.

- Fool!

Did you presume to catch me unawares?

- [Daredevil] Was it my breath?

- You primrose popinjay!

You're too late.

The Fantastic Four are dead!

And you are in time for your own demise.

[Daredevil screams in agony]

[Ben] Let go of him,

you clinking can of crud!

Why, it's the formerly Fantastic Four!

I see you've survived my little welcome.

Mere fists against my bionic armor.

How prosaic.

Oh. Freezing. I can't move.

A true genius would have prepared for

this exigency with insulated garments.

But as always, we both know

which of us is the true genius.

I've made an interesting little

improvement in your ventilation system.

I will now suck all the air

out of the room.

And like the martyrs of Masada,

you may watch each other die.

Have a nice day!

[strains] The stimulator! Got to

Argh!

Hey, Stretch, the gadget.

Come on, tell me how it works. Now!

No, Ben, let me!

You'll become the thing again.

Sorry, Alicia!

Goin' somewhere, Doc?

Let go of me, you pathetic monstrosity!

You brainless baboon!

Did you think me defenseless?

[electronic whining]

You are feeling the weight of the worid

on your misformed shoulders.

My bipolar amplifier increases the

force of gravity on you a thousandfold.

No! It's not possible!

You! You're the reason

I'm the Thing again.

The reason Alicia ain't never gonna have

a normal life with me.

Now you're gonna pay!

Ben! Wait!

[Johnny] Big guy, easy!

Back off, kid.

This is between me and metalface!

Ben, please!

Let him go! We're not murderers.

You leave me no choice

but to act for the greater good.

I've just destroyed the fusión limiters

from Reed Richards' dimensional reactor.

In one minute, it will tear the space-

time continuum, reducing this building

- and, regrettably, most of Manhattan

- Follow me!

[Doom] to cosmic dust!

Let it weigh on your souls.

Pity, really. [sighs]

I never did get to see Cats.

Ten seconds

and Manhattan will be kitty litter.

Oh, boy.

Sue, it's up to you.

I've never tried anything

this big before, but here goes.

He didn't get you, but your building

is going to need a lot of spackle.

A whole new building is more like it.

We'd better make our next digs

warp-proof.

Well I guess I'd better go tell

Alicia I'm not her dream man any more.

Oh, Ben. Alicia loves you for

who you are, not what you look like.

Yeah. Huh.

Lucky her.