02x11 - Hopelessly Impossible

[bunniefuu]

[she growls]

What? Uh?

[barks]

What? Crystal's dog?! Lockjaw,

is that really you, boy?

You escaped

the Negative Barrier!

Then teleport me back to Crystal

nonstop on the canine express!

[male voice] Slap me in a dress

and call me Klinger!

There it is.

Four Freedoms Plaza!

Where in this land of milk, honey

and the universe's best TV shows

can a faultless fugitive

find the Fab Four?

Yow! Be back

after this commercial break!

Whew! Too close for comfort!

Ooh!

Oh, yeah!

Now, that's incredible!

Well, hello, hello!

Olly olly oxen free!

"Dear Johnny. Be back later.

Ben, Reed and I went out. "

"Out"? They went out?!

Just peachy!

Here's the story, yeah!

Of the thing and Johnny, ooh!

Who were beating up some

very ugly ghouls, oh, yeah!

Come on, ya mangy metal maggot!

Aargh!

No!

You repulsive monstrosity!

You're still no match

for my power gloves.

Did someone say "match?"

Looks like the gloves

are off, Wizzy!

We must flee while we still can.

It's not quite time

to leave the party.

Not to worry. I got her, Sis.

Ooh, nice and brutal!

[chuckles] Reed Richards,

Mr. Fantastically Dull.

- Stop! It's a trap!

- And I'm the Trapster.

Flame on!

This oughta

light your fire, boy

Way to go!

[Medusa] Impressive powers,

Susan Richards!

But less than nothing

compared to Madame Medusa's!

[Medusa screams]

You must be destroyed!

This battle will reveal

our location to the Seeker.

This cowl! It's a sealed

moisture bag!

[gasps] You've

discovered my secret.

Human!

Must reach the water!

Uh-oh! That partridge

ain't part of this family!

Phew! Boy.

Baywatch alert! Sue Richards!

[babbles gibberish]

This is pretty uninspired.

The big, bad Doctor Doom

kidnapping me

just to lure us to your

wretched little island.

Yes, so sorry to involve you

in the timeworn

damsel-in-distress cliché.

I fear the only thing missing

is the onrushing train.

However, sometimes expediency

outweighs originality.

Now, with your permissión

Blast! This thing has

neutralized my force field!

But if I can still

project invisibility

- Hey, Stretcho! I found Susie!

- What? Where, Ben?

In the basement!

Well, a neuro-stimulator!

Sue! Darling!

We've got to get off

this island!

Doom's set that nuclear b*mb

to go off any second!

Hm. If I can defuse

its detonator

You heard the lady.

Time's a-wastin'.

Now let's hustle

our little blue tushies!

- Taxi!

- Give me that container.

Or you will meet

your ultimate defeat.

At the hands of Malice,

Mistress of Hate!

Aw! Jeez! Argh!

Yeah. Ya know,

after some ruminatin',

I've decided

you ain't no lady!

Ow!

[growls]

[gasps] No air.

I can't breathe!

Ah, poor little Thingy!

Out of breath?

[gasping] Take a hike, toots.

That's a good little superhero.

As I promised, Reed

Richards will become your prey.

But first, we return to my worid

to set a little trap.

For the rest of my family!

This one's for you, you monster!

What?

[Psycho Man] No!

You!

- Yes! We got him back!

- Yes!

[Reed] The psychic explosión

freed her from Psycho Man's control.

Why pretty giris always

try help ugly rock creature?

'Cause I floss, Moss Mouth!

[Sue] Sorry, Ben.

He's too strong. Oh!

Hah! Ugly rock creature

getting weak!

Hulk never get weak!

Huh? Where rock creature go?

Thanks, Suse.

Smart girl!

[Ben] Peekaboo! Thing find you!

Hm. But what's our track record

for beating up the bullies?

Galactus! [chuckles]

At last my quest is done.

My vengeance is at hand!

Let this, then, be your end.

This time, the triumph

shall be mine.

You mouth madness.

You are but a simple being!

I am an entire worid!

Your words are true.

But in all of space, I stand alone.

I am Galactus!

Here's the wind-up.

And the pitch!

Strike!

[Johnny screams]

If I reduce my molecular

cohesión to a minimum

[Ben] All right!

It's Doctor Blob!

[Johnny] Oh, no, God, no!

What

[Ben] Whoa! Takes a lickin'

and keeps on tickin'!

Flame on!

Huh? Hey!

What the He's shrunk!

No. He was never

any bigger than what you see.

The rest was just an illusión.

Well, maybe now

he'll stick to charades!

It's clobberin' time!

Ah-ha!

We've teleported through

every country but Attilan.

[bird coos]

[muffled voice]

Eurgh. It could be worse.

At least I came out

the way I went in!

Just who the heck are you?

A Poppupian

from the planet Poppup.

They call me Impossible Man,

because what I do

is impossible.

Whoa! Back off, Scooby!

I've got some gomer named

Super Skrull on my tail

Super Skrull?!

That green-scaled mutant Spock

has no sense of humor.

Well, okay, tell you what.

If you can get this dog to take

me to the Great Refuge

Let's make a deal,

you lucky contestant!

Okay, negotiations complete.

Okay. You got yourself

a hot bodyguard.

[he roars]

So, you got

Spider-Man's phone number?

Oh! Where am I?

There it is! Attilan!

And Crystal

Who's inside. Why?

And will they sell you to me?

Whoa! A girl.

A real looker, too.

- Hello. Are you lost?

- No! Stay away.

Hey, chill. I just wanna talk.

I'm not gonna hurt you.

Hey!

What happened?

Hey

Where'd you go?

No! Go away!

- They must not find you!

- "They" who?

Goodbye!

Hey! What are you,

some kind of pyromaniac?

Fire is not the recommended way

to get rid of me.

- But how do you

- You have hidden powers!

- You're one of us!

- Right. I'm one of you.

That's what I've been

trying to say.

How wonderful!

My name is Crystal. What is yours?

I'm the Human Torch.

But my friends call me Johnny.

- Johnny Storm.

- I would like to be your friend.

No problem there.

Say, what are you doing all alone

here in this run-down place?

[laughs] But I'm not alone.

Lockjaw's with me.

Lockjaw, huh?

Is that like measles?

[laughing] Don't be silly.

Everyone knows Lockjaw.

- Isn't he the sweetest?

- [Lockjaw growls]

Yeah. Like sugar!

[Johnny] What the?

Lockjaw thinks it's time

I returned home.

"Lockjaw thinks!"

Hey! Where'd he go?

[laughing]

He's always doing that!

Come on! I'd like you

to meet my family.

I get the feeling

I'm not in Kansas any more.

- Don't tell me. That's Black Bolt.

- No. That's my cousin Karnak.

This is Johnny Storm.

He too has a hidden power.

Put it there.

Hm. Your center of gravity

is about here!

Please forgive my cousin.

He likes to show off.

Oh. Here are the others!

Gorgon! Medusa.

- You interfering fool!

- Why can't you leave us in peace?

- Johnny! You know my sister Medusa?!

- Sister?! I shoulda figured.

- [Medusa] Johnny!

- [Johnny] Hey!

No matter. He cannot escape!

Flame on!

He's gone.

When Black Bolt learns of this,

his anger will be unimaginable.

Black Bolt, huh?

Well, la-di-da.

Let's see if he can handle

an orange bolt!

Oh! He floored Ben

with one punch!

That's impossible. The Thing

is the strongest human alive.

[Johnny] Maybe he's just met

the new number one.

[Sue] Any ideas, darling?

I can't keep this up indefinitely.

These Inhumans seem more

governed by fear than anger.

- Ben! Stop fighting!

- Yeah, sure thing!

Just as soon as I land

one good haymaker!

Besides, Buttercup here

ain't sayin' diddly!

Crystal!

No! Johnny!

- I want to stay here with you!

- Hey!

No, my sister. We are family.

We must always be

with our own kind.

- Johnny!

- [Johnny] Crystal!

No! They're about to vanish!

Flame on!

- Ow! Torch?!

- [Sue] Reed!

Johnny Storm!

I don't want to leave you!

Crystal, wait for me!

Crystal, I Oh!

Johnny!

Now where'd they go?

Catchin' the tail end

of Lockjaw's vanishing act

must have dumped me

away from the others.

I just hope Crystal and I

are in the same time zone!

[angry shouting]

[female voice] No!

Crystal! Flame on!

[Crystal screams]

Nova heat!

Johnny!

- Oh, Johnny!

- Hey, easy!

I can be too hot to handle.

You saved me.

You came back for me.

Well that's my job.

Black Bolt is grateful!

He will allow you humans

to depart now.

On the condition you vow not

to reveal what you have seen.

Allowing humans

to leave the Great Refuge!

And they call me mad!

By reversing the ionic charge,

I can create a negative barrier.

To keep you prisoners

of the Great Refuge forever!

- Say goodbyes! We're outta here!

- Not without Crystal!

- I won't go without Crystal!

- Johnny, don't leave me!

Ben, hurry! I can't hold

the force field much longer.

- I hate to do this, kid.

- Crystal!

Johnny

Call me Rosebud!

- [Impossible Man] Uh-oh

- [Johnny] Oof! Bad plan.

Beam me up, Scotty!

Don't just stand there.

Get mean about it!

Mean? Me?

Listen, if it ain't fun

it ain't for Impossible Man.

But call me curious.

Cool!

I'm getting a real kick

out of this.

How's about you,

Super Bowl Super Skrull?

I'd better hustle on before

Mr. Green Genes makes a return.

From the Twilight Zone!

[hums Twilight Zone theme]

Hey, what's the matter, Embers?

- Lassie go home without you?

- I guess so.

C'mon, buck up!

How about a quick ride home,

first class?

Got places to go,

people to annoy, huh?

Hey, it's my job.

It's what I do.

[Mr. Impossible] So, you really

carry a torch for that girl.

[Johnny] You've been just dying

to say that, haven't you?