01x10 - Dracula's Revenge

[bunniefuu]

MAN: Look, up on the building!
It's Spider-Woman!

NARRATOR: And this is Jessica Drew,

who as a child
while visiting her father's laboratory,

was bitten by a poisonous spider.

Forced to try an untested spider serum,

Dr. Drew not only saved
his daughter's life,

but unknowingly
gave her incredible spider-like powers.

Dedicated to fighting evil
while weaving her web of justice,

it's Spider-Woman!

[GROWLING]

[HOWLING]

VICTOR:
I think we are making a mistake, Gustav.

Let's get out of this graveyard
before it's too late.

No! No, we've come this far.
There's no turning back.

Look! Look, there it is.
The crypt of Count Dracula.

Gustav, we mustn't go any further.

We are tampering
with something far too evil.

Leave if you like! I'm going on.

Victor, there it is!

We're rich! [CHUCKLES]

People will pay millions of dollars

to see the tomb of Count Dracula.

Let's open it.

[RUMBLING]

It's him!

GUSTAV: Count Dracula!

VICTOR: He's alive!

GUSTAV: Let's get out of here!

At last! I'm free after 500 years.

[CACKLING]

There is no escape.

You two shall be my first victims.

You'll have to deal with me first,
you vagrant vampire.

It will be my pleasure.

Blistering bat rays!

That ghoul isn't fooling around.

Fool! No one can stop me

from getting my revenge

on all of you mere mortals.

It's safe. You can come out now.

Don't mention it. Uh-oh.

I've gotta get back home
before I miss an important date.

Aw, come on, Aunt Jessica.

You promised we'd go to a movie tonight.

But not Alien Spider.

I don't like monster pictures.
They give me nightmares.

Don't worry, Jess.

It won't be that bad.

WOMAN ONSCREEN:
Look out! The alien spider. It's horrible!

[WOMAN SCREAMS]

See, Jessica?
I told you it wouldn't be that bad.

Looks like you were right, Jeff.

That spider's not all that scary.

JESSICA: Uh-oh. Speaking of spiders,
I'm getting a spider-sense.

Vengeful vampires!

That dreaded Dracula's at it again.

He's got to be stopped.

JESSICA:
I'm gonna get some more popcorn, Jeff.

You can tell me what happens
when I get back.

Uh, popcorn? Sure, Jessica.

I knew she'd be a scaredy cat.

Well, it's not exactly my style,
but it'll have to do.

But Dr. Van Helsing,

aren't you afraid of the curse
Count Dracula put on your family

when he was entombed 500 years ago?

Not at all.

Ever since my great ancestor
did away with Dracula,

my family has been living in this castle.

It used to belong
to Count Dracula himself.

[BOTH GASP]

There's nothing to worry about.

[WIND WHOOSHING] Dracula's curse
is as harmless as the wind.

Heaven help us! Look!

It's Dracula!

Yes, and I have come to fulfill a promise

of a 500-year-old curse.

[LAUGHING]

No!

Dracula's turned Van Helsing
into a vampire!

And now it's your turn.

You are all my captives.

[LAUGHS]

[SPIDER-WOMAN GRUNTS]

But not for long, Dracula.

I've come to free them.

How very bold you are, my spidery friend.

But also very foolish!

That's a nice bat blast
you've got there, Dracula.

Let's see how it matches my venom blast.

Oh! The light!

You'll pay for this.

I'll have to continue
this vampire hunt later.

Right now, I've gotta get back
to Jeff and Billy

before they begin to Miss Jessica.

BILLY: Wow! What a movie!

I can't wait to tell Aunt Jessica
about the part

when the alien spider popped out of...

Listen, Billy. I don't think you should
describe it to your Aunt Jessica.

It's much too scary for her.

And speaking of Jessica,
I wonder where she disappeared to.

There she is.

What are you doing here?

Why aren't you watching the movie?

It ended 10 minutes ago.

What were you doing in that phone booth,
Aunt Jessica?

Uh, I just got a hot tip from somewhere
in Eastern Grumania.

It seems they've got a vampire
on the loose.

Vampire?

Have you gone batty, Jessica?
There's no such thing as vampires.

Let's get to the Justice jet-copter.

We'll soon find out, one way or the other.

[WOLF HOWLING]

Hurry! There is little time.

DRACULA: Our friend has been
in this swamp far too long.

[WOLF HOWLING]

[GROWLING]

At long last, the Wolfman has returned!

[ROARING]

[DOOR CLOSES]

BILLY: This place gives me the creeps.

I don't understand you, Jessica.

You dragged us halfway around the world
to this graveyard and for what?

To chase imaginary vampires?

Trust me, Jeff!
My sources are never wrong.

Especially when they're Spider-Woman.

Come on! Let's take a look around.

We're wasting our time, Jessica.

There's nothing around here
but tombstones.

That's what we're looking for!

BILLY: Oh, my gosh!
It's Count Dracula's tomb!

And someone's broken into it!

Or broken out of it.

Cut out the horror stories, Jessica.
That's nonsense!

You're probably right, Jeff.
I'll just take a look inside and find out.

No way, Jessica!

It's far too dangerous for a woman
to go crawling around in a crypt.

Billy and I will do it.

BILLY: Look! It's Dracula's coffin.

Oh, no! It's empty.

[GROWLING]

I think it's time we got out of here.

I wonder what's taking them so long?

I never should have let them go in alone.

[WOLFMAN GROWLING]

Trembling tarantulas!
Sounds like Billy and Jeff are in trouble.

It's time to weave a spider change.

SPIDER-WOMAN:
Billy, Jeff! Thank goodness you're okay.

[BOTH GROWLING]

Suffering spider changes!
What's happened to you?

Jeff! Billy! It's me, Spider-Woman.

[GROWLING]

Looks like they're not fooling around.

That should hold you two
until I can get you back to normal.

DRACULA: But they are normal!

It is you who are going to be changed!

[LAUGHS]

[GROWLING]

DRACULA: I told you
you would pay for interfering with me.

Now you shall make an excellent addition
to my army of vampires.

Being part spider is challenging enough.

I have no intention
of being part vampire, also.

[GROWLS]

Sorry, fellas.
I'm not ready for a coffin yet.

I guess you forgot about the light
of my venom blast, Dracula.

JESSICA: Sprouting spider hair!

My venom blast is clogged.

That double energy blast
was too much for her.

She will no longer be a problem to us.
Come!

Now to visit another old friend.

[LAUGHS]

Any moment now and the final member
of our threesome will be uncovered.

[ROARING]

It's the Frankenstein monster!

We have come to free you!

With the three of us working together,

the world will soon be at our mercy.

[DRACULA CACKLES]

Huh. I must have been out
for over an hour.

I've got to stop those menacing monsters
and save Billy and Jeff.

Now to use my spider-sense
to find Billy and Jeff.

Menacing mutations!

What's happening?

Oh, no!

Those strange rays have turned me
into part vampire and part werewolf!

[SNARLS]

Trembling tarantulas!
There's an evil force growing in me.

[SNARLS]

I've got to resist it.

Must figure a way...

[SNARLS]

...to get back to normal.

[SNARLS]

Tom, what...?

It's-- It's Dracula!

[WOLFMAN GROWLNG]

[GROWLS]

[HORSE WHINNIES]

[MONSTER GROWLING]

I've got to stop this evil force in me.

Before it takes over completely.

[SNARLS]

[SPIDER-WOMAN SNARLING]

I've got little time.

[SNARLS]

This research laboratory is the only place
I have a chance of changing myself

back to my normal spidery self.

[SNARLS]

I've got to work fast.

[SNARLS]

This evil force within me
is nearly irresistible.

[SNARLING CONTINUES]

There. If this doesn't work, nothing will!

[SNARLING]

It worked! The evil within me is gone.

Now to figure out a way to stop
those three monsters.

The books I'm looking for
have got to be here somewhere.

These are the books I'm looking for.

Now to find out about Dracula,

the Wolfman and Frankenstein.

Very interesting.

Well, that's it!

Now I know how to stop
that gruesome threesome!

[MONSTER GROWLING]

[SIREN WAILING]

If my hunch is right,

this electromagnetic grounding antenna
will drain the lightning energy

that brought that Frankenstein monster
to life.

[GROANING]

It's working!

[ROARING]

[GROANING]

That's one down and two to go.

[WEREWOLF GROWLING]

According to the legend,

the Wolfman gets his power
from the full moon.

In which case, all I have to do
is create a spider eclipse.

[GROWLING]

Huh? What? What happened?

With the Frankenstein monster
and Wolfman out of the way,

that leaves only Dracula.

There's no way to escape.

You've transformed your last victim,
Dracula!

You may stop a few of my vampires
with your glowing energy,

but one of us will get you!

[CACKLING]

You're wrong, Dracula! I'll get you all.

DRACULA: No!

Hey! Where am I?

Now that those three monsters
have been taken care of,

there's only one more transformation
to do.

I've got to transform back into Jessica
before Billy and Jeff get back.

Aunt Jessica, Jeff! Where are you?

-Billy!
-[GASPS]

-Where have you been?
-I don't know.

But I'm worried about Aunt Jessica.

Don't worry, Billy. We'll find her.

-Hi!
-[GASPS]

Well! Did you get anything
on our vampire story?

No! I can't remember a thing
that happened to me.

It doesn't matter.

I guess you were right, Jeff.

There's no such thing as vampires.
Come on, let's go home.