02x11 - Hulk Buster

[bunniefuu]

[WHOOSHING]

SHERIFF: Well, there's been a hundred
of them light beams since yesterday,

none of them are from the same spot.

IRON MAN: Who's doing the analysis?

So far, just a Dr. Bruce Banner.

Told him to wait for you, Iron Man,
but you know those brainy types.

All too well.

Can't live with them, can't live...
I see Banner!

That beam's got him trapped
on a ridge!

Trouble in River City.

[GASPS] Whoa!

IRON MAN: Julia! No!

I...

lam...

I am Iron Man!

I am Iron Man!

I am Iron Man!

IRON MAN: Julia!

[ROARING]

Stay below ground level!

That's right, Iron Man.
Risk your life, brave the danger,

run the gauntlet, and then
deliver your spoils to me.

[LEADER LAUGHING]

IRON MAN: Armor, Drill Mode!

- A ring? And it's one of The Mandarin's!
-BANNER: Don't let the sun hit it!

Solar energy seems to empower it.
May I?

They have the ring. Proceed!

You have done well, my mysterious
trinket, in luring me to this place.

And when I reunite you
with your glittering twin,

I shall unseal
The Mandarin's legendary powers.

I'm not clear why,

but this gemstone was creating gaps
in the electromagnetic field.

- Temporal rifts, I suspect.
-Like windows in time? Time travel?

Then everything the beams hit
was just sent through those time rifts.

My Julia could still be alive!

[GROANS]

[GROANING]

[STRAINING]

- Banner! Where's the ring?
-One of the robots took it. It's gone.

IRON MAN: And so is my only chance
of getting Julia back.

Maybe not. Those robots,

they're the handiwork of the most evilly
deranged man to walk this planet.

IRON MAN:
Julia's life is hanging in the balance

and we can't even pinpoint
this nut case!

And I never really told her
how much I...

Believe me, pal, she knows.
Heck, everyone else does.

So what kind of loony toon
are we up against, Doc?

BANNER: He's Samuel Sterns,
my former lab assistant.

Not much of an intellectual, but
he made up for it with sheer tenacity.

Then came the G-b*mb test

and his exposure during the clean-up
to massive doses of gamma rays.

So, what, now he glows in the dark?

[SIGHS] It transformed him
into a shrewd genius. An insane one.

A man fixated on my destruction.
A man who calls himself the Leader.

Absolutely entrancing.

While one ring tears open a rift
in space and time,

the other provides a doorway for me
to simply walk through into the past.

- Oh, yes, a time long ago...
-Stay away! You're in danger!

...when that G-b*mb
so drastically changed two lives.

Mine, and especially yours,
young Bruce Banner.

However, my plans for future conquest
now demand that I strike you down,

then stand in your stead

as the gamma rays bestow
the Hulk's strength upon me, not you!

- COMPUTER: Intruder alert!
-What'?

I've never been very good
at this element of surprise business.

[BANNER GROWLING]

Hey, Banner's looking kind of...

Kind of green around the gills,
and big, sort of like...

[DEEP VOICE]
Leader must be stopped!

[ROARS]

The Hulk?

IRON MAN: Banner!

Who sh**t at Hulk?

Leader!

You've crushed my dreams
for the last time!

These rings will destroy you, Hulk!
Do you hear me? Destroy you!

No one destroy Hulk!

[SCREAMS]

[HULK GROWLING]

Rings not destroy Hulk!

[GRUNTING]

IRON MAN: Hulk, no! Don't crush it!
Please, I need that ring.

Ring is weapon against Hulk.

[WHIMPERS] The ring! No!

Get them back, fat head! Now!

I can't, not without the other ring!

JIM: Let's try this again.

Get them back!

What we have here
is an opportunity to bargain.

Iron Man for both rings.

Let's go.

IRON MAN: A volcano?
Did someone change the channel?

Hulk destroy ring!

IRON MAN: No! Armor, Lava Mode!

HULK: Hulk is safe.
Ring not hurt Hulk now.

IRON MAN: She's gonna toss her
RedHots! Probably regret this,

but you and I are taking
the Sunbeam Express out of here.

[GRUNTING]

Who told you to stop?
You're almost there!

They're random rift sites with no way
to pinpoint the Hulk or Iron Man.

So just keep your layman optimism
to yourself, assistant!

Gentlemen, I have determined
a relevant fact regarding the time rifts.

They only occur during historical
moments of great energy release,

i.e., volcanoes, etc.

LEADER: I can use that!

Hey, keep close tabs on
what Mr. High IQ is doing, hard drive.

In case we have to float this boat
without him. Got it?

I got it, Mr. Rhodes.

In the meantime, if we're real lucky
and end up face to face

with one hopping-mad Hulk,
I'd bestjerry-rig

this heavy demolition Exo-Armor
into customized Hulk-busting armor.

[GROANING]

HULK: You save ring.
Want ring to hurt Hulk!

IRON MAN: Hulk, please.

That ring is my only chance
to save someone. A lady.

- Save someone?
-Julia.

- Lady?
-Yes. A lady.

She's very important to me,
more than I ever realized.

She's innocent in all of this, Hulk.
Just like you are.

To save lady? Not use on Hulk?

You have my word.

No! Get it out of the sun!

You lie! You trick Hulk!

[HULK ROARING]

Hulk trust no one!

IRON MAN: Hulk, you got it all wrong!

JULIA: Iron Man!
IRON MAN: What?

Julia! Alive!

[GROANS]

Hang on!

HULK: Metal man not escape with ring!

[GROANS] Tony!

[IRON MAN GRUNTING]

Not good!

[SCREAMING]

[GRUNTS]

[DISTANT RUMBLING]

Bad juju!

[GROANS]

I had them! They were there,
right within my grasp!

What? Julia!

A massive meteor will impact that area
in one minute.

Saving her is not part of our deal.

What?

Your deal has been
renegotiated, mister!

[LAUGHS] All right, hard drive!

Way to stick your electronic foot
in that portal door.

[ROARS]

Fine.

Nice to see
you're as smart as you look.

RhOdey!

I knew such a lousy shot
could only come from you.

Jules, grab on,
before I change my mind.

JULIA: Whoa!

JIM: Come on, lady. Come on!

JULIA: Oh, no!

- What happened?
-The time rift has changed.

Miss Carpenter's whereabouts
are unknown.

No one opposes the Leader
without severe repercussions!

Wanna see me redefine
what "severe" means?

Nonetheless, I have spared
her valueless life!

For I've managed to direct the time rift
to open in a specific location

of great personal interest to me.

A woman in distress is such a great
leveraging tool, don't you agree?

Okay, what now?

I'll stabilize that portal
and step through to regain the rings.

Then, by erasing Banner
and preventing the Hulk's very creation,

I'll take his place in history.

The gamma rays will combine
his powers with my superior intellect,

thereby making me a god!

[LAUGHING EVILLY]

IRON MAN: [GROANING] Low power.

Metal man is Hulk's enemy!
Like everyone else!

[IRON MAN GROANS IN PAIN]

Hulk pounds all enemies!

Hulk know this place!

Hulk born here, long time ago.

[JULIA SHRIEKS]

[GROANING]

- IRON MAN: Julia!
-Oh, my aching... Tony?

Tony!

- IRON MAN: I thought I'd lost you.
-Oh, like you care.

You've just been out horsing around
with your monster friends.

[HARMONICA PLAYING]

BANNER: Stay away! You're in danger!

In danger.

IRON MAN: This is when it happened,
isn't it? When the Hulk was created.

As Banner, you were trying to save
that boy when the b*mb went off

and bombarded you with gamma rays.

[HULK WHIMPERS]

Hulk. Bruce. We can reverse history
and end your torment.

BANNER: Hey! Get out of there!
The b*mb's about to detonate!

IRON MAN: No more loneliness.
No more misery.

We'll just take it all away, forever.

No more?

IRON MAN: All we have to do
is get that boy to safety,

-so Bruce Banner doesn't have to.
-No!

Hulk hates puny Banner.
No save Banner!

Save mighty Hulk!

[GROANS]

IRON MAN: Bad choice of words.

JIM: Hang in there, Shellhead.

One Hulk-busting passenger,
coming through!

HOMER: Leader's self-destruct
sequence initiated.

You fool!

You were warned of the consequences
if you proceeded without me!

What, are you telling me
your booby trap's causing all this?

I thought we'd just lose HOMER.

HOMER: Hmm. Thank you.

LEADER: You've forced my hand!

- JIM: I'm going in!
-The portal has closed, Mr. Rhodes.

However, with extensive
micro-relay repair to my main grid,

I may be able to reopen it.

Well, then let's just fix you up.
Where's my hammer and saw?

Oh, dear.

IRON MAN: Jimmy, you always know
just what to get me.

[JULIA GROWLING]

Hulk no fight pretty lady.
Hulk finish metal man!

IRON MAN: Finish? Hey,
I'm just getting ready to rock and roll!

Step back, Julia, he's mine.

New toy not stop Hulk!

IRON MAN: Julia!
Get the ring from my armor hand!

It may be our only ticket home.

Madder Hulk get,
stronger Hulk become!

IRON MAN: Typical.

[HULK ROARING]

[GRUNTING]

It's never been easy
getting a ring from Tony.

[g*n c*ck]

I believe that ring is more my size
than yours.

Gee, and you are?

Why, dear lady. I am your Leader.

- IRON MAN: Julia!
-Leader not hurt girl.

Not unless given a reason.

But as for that young Dr. Banner there,

I do happen to have a reason,
a considerable one!

It is I who shall acquire
the power of the Hulk! I alone!

[JULIA GRUNTS]

[GROANS] My rings!

Our destiny is about to be
uncrossed, Banner.

HULK: Leave puny Banner alone!

LEADER: No!

[CHUCKLES] Hey, I got a real knack
for this science stuff, eh, hard drive?

It is good that I was not
more heavily damaged.

Think of the harm you could do then.

JIM: Did I do that?

Someone else has attempted passage
through the unstable portal.

They did not exit here.

Metal man try to undo Hulk!

IRON MAN: Come on, Stark, pour it on.

HULK: No undo Hulk!

- JIM: Julia!
- Iron Man!

BANNER: We've got to reach
the protective trench!

IRON MAN: Sorry, Bruce. I tried.

[SCREAMING]

[GROANS]

I don't know what to say.
I can't control what the Hulk does.

- IRON MAN: We know, Bruce.
-Nobody blames you.

JIM: Except maybe
your ambitious pal, Leader.

And who knows where that fat head
got shipped off to.

[BANNER SIGHS]

Now you know I'm the Hulk. What now?

I won't tell if you won't.

Thanks, Tony.

JIM: Come on, Doc. Let's step out
for a little R&R at the infirmary.

Julia, I... There's something I want to...

Need to say.

Should I take notes?

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

No need.

What's this? Some sort of an egg.

What the... What do you want?

THE MANDARIN: Your work is done
here. Now leave with your life!

Run. Run!

Ah. At long last.

The moment that has eluded me
for these many months is finally here!

Oh, Iron Man, prepare yourself,

for the day of The Mandarin
is now at hand.

[LAUGHING EVILLY]

lam...

I am Iron Man!

I am Iron Man!

I am Iron Man!

'