01x13 - The Sidewinder Strikes

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

[narrator] Spider-Man.

[inaudible]

[thunder rumbling]

[meows]

[clacking]

[thunder rumbling]

[inaudible]

[roars]

[narrator] Spider-Man.

What a nice, peaceful morning.

No robot K*llers, no mad fiends,

just those wild bulls

stampeding through the streets.

What?

Wild bulls?

In New York?

Whoa! Whoa, bull!

Hee-ya! Yeah! Yeah!

Hey, thanks, Spidey.

These bulls are for the rodeo
in Madison Square Garden.

I guess I must have left
the back of my truck open.

Shucks, partner,
that's why they call me

the fastest web in the west.

[laughs] You're great.

But that was the worst imitation
of John Wayne I ever heard.

They're incredible, Mr. Wilson.

Yeah, they were given to Buffalo Bill

by the King of England himself.

These little beauties
are my pride and joy.

Considering that
your Wild West collection

is valued at more than
a million dollars,

that's saying something.

Little lady,
there's no amount of money

that could make me
part with my spurs.

Still standing around gawking, Parker?

Get those pictures
down to developing now!

We have a deadline to meet.

I'm on my way, Mr. Jameson.

Oops! Sorry.

Now, you treat my babies gently.

I want them to be in tiptop shape
for the rodeo exhibit.

But isn't the armored car

supposed to deliver them
to Madison Square Garden?

The armored car is a decoy.

It's done all the time.

Thousands of dollars of jewelry
carried all over town

by subway, and nobody suspects.

J.J., that's a great idea
for a picture story.

What are you talking about, Parker?

Think of it, a fortune riding the subway,
and nobody knows it.

What a great human interest story.

Nonsense... Uh, yes!

I... I was thinking of that yesterday.

Tell you what, take your camera,

follow him. Get me some pictures.

Right, J.J.

[chuckles] It's hard to get
good help these days.

Well, I got to mosey along now.

I'm late for a meeting.

Oh, don't forget,

we're having lunch at my club at noon.

I don't believe it.

[straining]

[laughing]

[people clamoring]

Henry, what's going on?

Why did we stop?

There's a pile of logs on the track,

and a masked man on a horse.

Cowboys in the subway?

Say, you're right.

[woman] They're coming for us!

Don't worry, ma'am.
No way they can get in here.

Open it!

Nobody's robbing my train.

What you can't see,

you can't stop.

I can't see.

But then, no one can see me.

M... My briefcase!
I... I... It's being stolen.

Help!

Stop them!

Have no fear, the web-slinger's here.

Looking for something, Spider-Man?

When I'm finished
with you urban cowboys,

you'll wish you were back on the range.

Web head, it's the end of the trail.

We got what we came for.
Back to the hideout.

[laughing]

Hi-yo, Helios!

Well, if he's going to use old lines,

up, up and away.

Spider-Man!

[Spider-Man] This town's not big enough
for both of us, Sidewinder.

Hey, that's city property!

So? I'm a tax payer.

This is where we part company,
web head.

Wrong, Sidewinder.

We'll get the spurs back at the rodeo.

Posse, hee-ya!

[sirens wailing]

[panting] No way they'll believe me.

Better get the spurs to Wilson myself.

No one can enter
the Publishers Club dressed like that.

But I have to deliver this
to Mr. Jameson's table in person.

Impossible.

How about if I wear a tie?

Ah! Out! Out, immediately!

[Spider-Man] I don't like
the way you dress either.

All right, if I can't
go through the front door...

Wilson, you'll love
the pheasant under glass here.

[Wilson] Well, just burn
a hunk of cow for me.

I'm a simple down-home boy... [chuckles]

With the biggest western
art collection in the world,

and my own rodeo.

[clears throat]

You... You?

Will there be
anything else, gentlemen?

[Wilson] My spurs!
Where did you get them?

A flying cowboy named Sidewinder
tried to steal them.

Hmm... You probably set
the whole thing up just to get in here!

Why, J.J., you spilled.

Out! Get out!

This is a gentlemen's private club.

Then how did you get in?

Spider-Man, wait. I have to thank you.

Please come to my rodeo tomorrow night

as a guest of honor.

Thanks, I'll be there.

Hmm, guest of honor.

- Maybe my luck is finally changing.
- [dishes clattering]

Uh-oh!

$100 each place setting.

I hope you carry insurance,

Mr. Spider-Man.

Wow! Who could ever ride
that robot bull?

Would you believe a robot cowboy?

[laughing]

Hey, it was nice of Mr. Wilson

to let you take pictures
before the rodeo opens.

Yeah, which means,
I'd better get busy.

I'll see you back at the Bugle.

This must be where
the rodeo clowns hang out.

Hello, what's this?

I think I've found
Sidewinder's hideout.

Some of the clowns may be
up to serious funny business.

[woman 2] Care to give it a try, cowboy?

I'm not a cowboy.

For sure, but I need somebody
to test old Betsy for me.

Come on.

Give it a try, kid.

Betsy won't shake you up... much.

Boy, I've got to be out of my tree.

Just what every cowboy needs.

Little glue, so he won't fall off.

OK!

Enough! You can turn it off!

[laughing]

Spoilsport,
Betsy was just getting warmed up.

Oh, no!

Turn it off!

I can't. It's broken!

There's no way to turn it off!

Oh, no! It's going to explode!

It won't stop!

Jump off before it blows up!

I can't. I'm stuck!

Go. Get some help!

She's gone.
Now I'll do my thing, before it explodes.

Hate to ride and run, but...

Where is he?

That was some ride you gave me.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Are you OK?

I think so.

But I'd like to borrow a pair of pants.

[laughing]

Hey, mister!

The museum's closed.

Not to Sidewinder, it ain't.

Huh? Huh? Hey!

This is gonna look much better
in my collection.

[laughing]

[bull bellowing]

[crowd laughing]

[laughs] I just love clowns.
Don't you, Peter?

Oh, sorry, Betty.

I was thinking about Sidewinder.

[Betty] Don't worry, Peter.

This is the last place he'd show up,

especially with Spider-Man
due as guest of honor.

Oh, that reminds me.
I'd better set up my shots.

Hey, watch it!

[Peter] Hey, you I got to see.

Let's just see who's under the mask.

You, part of the Sidewinder g*ng?

[laughing]

That's not funny.

If you think I'm on
Sidewinder's side, it sure is.

Come on, follow me.

This is where Sidewinder
keeps his secrets.

I had a duplicate key made,
and it unlocked

the secret of Sidewinder's identity.

Wow! It sure did.

But how did you get involved?

My father was one of the owners
of this rodeo

until a crooked partner
framed him and took it over.

I vowed to put an end to that man,

the one called Sidewinder.

Uh-huh,

but who is Sidewinder?

He's... [screams]

Don't you know better
than to interrupt a lady?

Your spider strength won't be much help

while you're sleeping.

[both] Oh...

I'm... I'm tired.

Pleasant nightmares, Spider-Man.

Tie those two up
until I decide what to do with them.

- We can hide the girl in here.
- Yeah, but what about him?

These metal clamps on old Diablo

ought to hold even the Spider-Man.

Uh, sorry I'm late.

I had a few loose ends to tie up.

But where's Spider-Man?

Well, he's not here.

We'll just have to go on without him.

Turn on Diablo, the robot bull.

Now you'll see some action.

Well, with Spider-Man missing,

I can really enjoy myself.

Nobody'll find him in here.

[mechanical whirring]

Uh-oh, Diablo's been activated.

We better vamoose fast.

There's somebody in that barrel!

Those idiots!

Wha... What?

Whoa! Whoa!

Do something!

I am!

I'm praying!

Ride him, Spidey!

It's not so hard,
once you get the knack of it!

[Sidewinder] Here's where you get off!

I spoke too soon!

This is showdown time, Spider-Man.

It's round-up time.

You've run out of tricks, web spinner.

[Spider-Man] How about
a little bulldogging,

New York style?

Here's where you get off.

Wild Willie Wilson.

The Sidewinder.

And the one
who pulled the robberies

they blamed on my father.

Spider-Man, you were wonderful.

Aw, shucks, ma'am.

You're absolutely right.

And you stayed on Diablo the full time.

You made $1,000.

Guess that's enough
to pay for the broken dishes.

This is my lucky day.

[Jameson] Just one moment.

The Daily Bugle
put up that prize money,

and you're not getting
one penny of it!

But he rode Diablo.

But he didn't sign an entry form.

Ah, Mr. Jameson.

I read your exclusive
in the Daily Bugle.

Spider-Man capturing
the Sidewinder.

Don't mention that web slinger.

My usual table.

Mr. Jameson's table, please.

Right away.

Follow me, please.

What? What's he doing here?

Well, since you stopped me
from getting the prize money,

I'm paying off my debt
to the Publishers Club by working here.

Yes, Mr. Spider-Man will be
with us for the next two weeks.

Why, Mr. Jameson,
is anything wrong?

Uh... I've lost my appetite.

You're out of debt, Mr. Spidey.

I've been wanting to get
that grouchy old skinflint for years.

Yeah, but you're talking about

the grouchy old skinflint I love.

[theme music playing]