03x12 - The Devious Dr Dumpty

[bunniefuu]

[Marching Band Playing]

Everyone Loves A Parade, They Say.

And I Guess
I'm No Exception,

Especially When I Can Combine Business With Pleasure.

Peter Parker Is Supposed To Cover The Holiday Parade,

But As Spider-Man, He Should Be Able To Get Some Shots

That Ought To Make Even Old J. Jonah Jameson Happy.

Hey, How About That?

Got To Swing In For A Closer Shot.

Old Jameson Would Never Believe It

Without Photographic Proof.

Ought To Get Some Great Shots From Here.

Uh-Oh. Here Comes The Queen Of The Parade,

That Movie Star, Rochelle Welles.

I'll Need Some Good Pics Of Her

And That Jewel Collection She's Wearing

To Promote
Her Next Film.

Wearing $1 Million Worth Of Diamonds In Public

Ought To Be Worth A Million In Publicity For Her Studio,

But I Hope It Doesn't Buy Trouble In The Bargain.

That's A Terrific
Temptation

For Every Crook
In The City.

The Balloon Is Up. Any Second Now.

This Should Be A Gas.

[Bang]

[Gas Hissing]

[Screaming]

Oh...

She Makes It Easy
For Us.

Quickly, My Lads, Relieve The Lady

Of Her Burden
Of Boodle.

Right, Chief.
What A Haul!

Holy Smoke! I Can't See A Thing!

I'd Better Get
Down There Fast.

Got To Find Miss Welles's Float.

Ah, There She Is!

What Happened? Are You All Right, Miss Welles?

Miss Welles:
Huh? What?

Oh, Spider-Man.

Oh, Help.
They Took My Jewels.

There They Go-- The Clown And The 2 th*gs.

I See Them. Don't Worry, Miss Welles.

They Won't
Get Away With This.

Just Trust Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man.

Beautiful, Boys. Just Beautiful.

Precision, Timing, And Teamwork--

It Never Fails.
In The Melee,

No One Noticed
Our Departure.

And With Prevailing Winds And Cloud Cover,

Our Getaway Is Assured.

Man: Yeah, I Got To Hand It To You, Doc.

You Covered All Bets--

Automatic Timing Devices

On The Release Valves Of The Balloons,

The Colored Smoke Screen, And--

Except One.

Together:
Spider-Man!

Well, Well. So The Corpulent Clown

In None Other Than Dr. Humperdink Dumpty,

Master Thief And Despair

Of Weight Watchers Incorporated.

Get Him, Boys.

[Pow]

[Pow]

Hey!

Whew. Glad
I Left This Here.

Doc! Doc! Here
He Comes Again!

What'll We Do?

Do? Why Wait?

The Ballast. We'll Simply Get Rid

Of Some Excess Baggage, My Boys,

Like So.

Hey! Dirty Pool!

I--

[Dumpty Laughing]

This Makes
Our Day, Eh, Lads?

A Million-Dollar Haul

And An End To Spider-Man In The Bargain.

Delightful!
Delightful Indeed!

Ha Ha Ha Ha!

Just One Chance.

[Air Hissing]

Whew.

Now I Know What It's Like To Be Saved By Spider-Man.

Thanks, Old Buddy.

Well, Round One Goes To You, Doc,

But Round Two
Is Coming Up,

And It'll Be Humpty Dumpty's Turn

To Have A Great Fall.

Good. I've Done It.

A Good Education Comes In Handy Sometimes.

A Little Of This I.B.P. In One Of My Web-Shooters,

And I'll Have A Surprise Up My Sleeve For Dr. Dumpty

The Next Time We Meet,

And If My Hunch Is Right,

It Will Be Tonight
At The...

Tonight At The Caesar Astoria Hotel,

The Prize Will Be The Mask Of Dondelorro--

Pure Gold And Worth A Fortune.

The Ambassador Of Venezuela Will Host The Affair,

Which Is To Be A Masquerade Ball.

The Mask And Other Priceless Artifacts

Will Be On Display.

Gee, Doc, Hadn't We Ought To Lay Low For A While

After The Parade Caper This Morning?

Dumpty: Indeed,
Why, My Boy?

The Audacity Of 2 Such Monumental

Criminal Strokes Of Genius In One Day Appeals To Me.

How Will We
Pull It Off, Doc?

The Place Will Be Crawling With Fuzz.

If All Goes
According To Plan,

We Have Little To Fear From The Minions Of The Law,

And Now That Spider-Man Is Out Of The Way,

Success Is Assured.

Spider-Man?
You Mean He's Dead?

You Scragged Him? Aw!

Surely You Are Not Distressed By The Demise

Of That Annoying Arachnid,

Jack-In-The-Box,
My Dear?

Aw, Gee, I Guess Not, But He Was Kind Of Cute

In His Red-And-Blue Dr. Dentons And All.

Never Mind That Now,
Bubbles.

Here's The Plan.

We Will Meet At...

[Go-Go Music Playing]

Spider-Man: Lucky For Me This Is A Costume Ball.

I'm As Inconspicuous As The Next Guest,

Even With
My Spider-Man Outfit.

Hope My Hunch Is Right About This Being The Place

Dr. Dumpty
Will Strike Next.

Oops.
Pardon Me, Miss.

Ooh! Spider-Man!

I Thought
You Were Dead.

Dead?
What Do You Mean, Miss?

I Mean, Doc Said
You Were...

Demised Or Something.

What's Your Connection With Dr. Dumpty?

All Right, What's In That Bag You're Carrying?

A Gas Mask! Ok, Where's The Doc?

[g*nshots]

[Balloons Popping]

Uh-Oh. This Is It.

Look! Ha Ha Ha!

It's Dr. Dumpty!
Ha Ha Ha!

We'll All Be Robbed!
Ha Ha Ha!

Ha Ha Ha!
Where Are The...

Where Are
The Guards?

Sorry, Miss. I'll Have To Borrow This For A While.

Not So Fast, Doc.

You? Curses!

Run For It, Lads!

We're Undone!

You're A Slippery Character, Doc.

What You Boys Need Is Some I.B.P.

Foiled! It's Instant Banana Peel!

Oh!

Ooh!

Can't Stand Up!

[Crash]

Grab Those Two!

It's Been
A Lovely Party,

But I Really Must Go.

Ta-Ta, Everybody.
Ha Ha Ha!

Oh, No! He's Not Going To Slip Through My Fingers Again

With One Of Those Infernal Balloon Devices.

Let Me Borrow That For A Minute.

Got To Stop Him Before He Frees Himself!

Confound It!
Can't See!

Gotcha!

[Boom]

Touche, Doc.

Man: Well, Rochelle,

Dr. Dumpty And His g*ng Have Been Captured,

Your Diamonds Have Been Recovered,

And Your New Film Seems Assured Of Becoming Another Success.

Perhaps You Have A Footnote You'd Like To Add.

Why, Yes. I'd Just Like To Thank Spider-Man

For His Role In The Recovery Of The Gems

And To Tell Him, If He's Listening,

That He Can Play
The Spider

To My Miss Muffet
Any Time.

Why, Peter,
Whatever

Is The Matter
With You?

Uh...

[Ahem]

You'd Never Believe It If I Told You, Sue,

Believe Me.

[Theme Music Playing]

♪ Spider-Man,
Spider-Man ♪

♪ Does Whatever A Spider Can ♪

♪ Spins A Web Any Size ♪

♪ Catches Thieves Just Like Flies ♪

♪ Look Out, Here Comes The Spider-Man ♪

♪ Is He Strong?
Listen, Bud ♪

♪ He's Got Radioactive Blood ♪

♪ Can He Swing From A Thread? ♪

♪ Take A Look Overhead ♪

♪ Hey There, There Goes The Spider-Man ♪

♪ In The Chill Of Night ♪

♪ At The Scene
Of A Crime ♪

♪ Like A Streak
Of Light ♪

♪ He Arrives Just In Time ♪

♪ Spider-Man, Spider-Man ♪

♪ Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man ♪

♪ Wealth And Fame He's Ignored ♪

♪ Action Is His Reward ♪

♪ To Him, Life Is A Great Big Bang-Up ♪

♪ Wherever There's A Hang-Up ♪

♪ You'll Find The Spider-Man ♪