11x09 - The Wormhole

[bunniefuu]

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪



- Down.
- Oh my God.

Unreal.

Soon as you let your guard down,

something takes advantage of it.

I got to get this stored
in a different cache.

[grunts]

♪

Yeah!

Look at that big freaking coney.

I'm all for storing as many fish

as we can possibly get
because winter's here.

♪

I can now go out and I
can find animal sign.

[bleep]. No activity at all.

It's going to be OK.

I am going to be OK.

Look how chewed away
this half of fish is.

Been taking the risk
for the last couple days

that a wolverine or
a bear won't come.

I'm not taking the risk anymore.

Right now I'm going
to secure this.

There's a little anxiety.

The snow is starting to
stick because I don't know

how bad winter is going to be.

Behind, like, that, I think.

But I know I'm staying for it.

[weapon clicks]

[tense music]

♪

I'm not tapping out.

I'd rather die.

♪

Here goes nothing.

Whoa!

Yes!

Oh, [bleep].

♪

This is the harshest
location possible.

We're 125 miles in
the Arctic Circle.

Ah!

Never had an environment
make me feel like

like a complete amateur before.

Everything is
against us out here.

Mother Nature went
and b*tch slapped me.

Looks like I've got grizzlies
and wolves as my neighbors.

Holy crap.

They're just hunting
the shoreline.

Mother Nature is about
to dim the lights on us.

We're heading into
total darkness.

Hey, bear.

The cold in the dark is
going to sap people's souls.

Really makes you wonder
if it's worth it.

There is no camera crew.

There's no support system.

I'm completely alone.

Yeah!

People go in one way...

Stop bleeding.

And they come out
entirely different.

Ahh!

This is the most
difficult survival

challenge in the world.
- Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

$500,000.

That's completely
life-changing money.

It's beautiful!

Whoever can thrive
the longest...

Anything out here ought
to be afraid of me.

Whoever can push
through it wins.

I hope I made the right
choice coming out here.

♪

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

I'm making a range
hood-style smoke flap

in my shelter out of moose skin.

It'll trap and conduct
the smoke out the chimney,

making it safe to be in
the rest of the house.

♪

[groans]

[in British accent]
Upon my return,

we shall finish this fish juice.

Until then, fare thee well.

Stay safe.

[in American accent]
Who are you talking to?

[in British accent]
Why, you, sir.

You there in the green cloak.

[in American accent] There's
no one here in a green cloak.

[in British accent]
It's not green.

Red, then. Whatever.

Doesn't matter when
it's on a peasant.

[in American accent] Are you
saying peasants don't matter?

[in British accent]
Of course, I'm not.

Peasants matter to
me a great deal.

I need as many of them as
I can get on my estate.

[in American accent]
Sir, you are positively

medieval in your manners.

[in British accent]
The times are medieval.

Must I not be medieval then?

Bring me a hare or a rabbit.

[in American accent] Sir,
there's only hares here.

[in British accent] I
don't want the hairs.

I want the meat.

[in American accent]
Sir, I mean hare as in

the animal hare.

[in British accent] I've
eaten animal hair before,

and it's disgusting.
It stuck in my teeth.

[in American accent]
Sir, H-A-R-E.

[in British accent]
I can spell, peasant.

Get to work or I'll stone you.

My range hood is going for now.

There is smoke in
here, but not that bad.

I guess I'm ready to go
check the snare line.

First, I've got to hang up my
jerky so the mice don't get it.

[tense music]

Last night, I had
a piece of jerky.

It was stuffed up in a
rafter directly over my head.

And during the night, a
mouse climbed up on it

and fell off on my head,
and then screwed around

in a panic on my sleeping bag.

Mice are totally out
of control right now.

So it's pretty
snowy this morning.

It's looking Arctic-y.

And I have some jerky,
so just going to eat

this while I go do stuff.

♪

My teeth are so sore
from jerky, so very sore.

♪

I think not everybody would have

so many problems
chewing on the jerky,

but I've got problematic teeth.

And I could eat four times
as much fish right now,

but I'm rationing it
because I want it to last.

So if I'm going to stay
out here for a long time,

I need fresh meat.

♪

Nothing in the snares.

No fresh tracks.

[sigh] Crap.

I'm going to just
walk for a while.

I can't sit inside
the shelter anymore.

I'm almost over here to
where I k*lled the moose.

♪

And it's been a while since
the last time I was out here.

I do see something really cool.

I have found some
of the moose bones.

That is so cool.

Now I can mess around
on some projects.

♪ ♪

There's a lot going
on in my head.

And the big question that
I'm dealing with out here

is, what's next for my family?

We've moved 37 or 38 times
since we've been married.

I know it affects my
kids, and they've picked

up a lot of stress from it.

They have not had the
normal, solid context

of just being in a home
and going to school

and growing up that way.

Totally chewed up
by wolves or a bear.

And that's why I
want to win this,

because I want the money.

I want to build
a house, still be

able to do our
humanitarian aid work,

which I think is very
important for my kids.

If you only have a
certain amount of money,

you've got to spend it
on one or the other.

But I'd like to have this money

so that I can have a home

to put my family in,
so that my children,

when they think of home,

they always have a
place to picture.

♪

Got some.

Now, they look kind of gruesome
and bad, but I got some.

♪ ♪

Ooh, is the sun coming out?

Ooh, the sun is coming out.

I did the hand skin
test this morning,

and I am lacking in
hydration, for sure.

You know, that's when you
pinch your skin on your hand.

And if it goes right
back, you're hydrated.

If it doesn't, that
means you're dehydrated.

And it just kind of hung out
there where I pinched it,

so not good, not good at all.

So I'm going to
heat up my broth,

get some hydration in me.

♪

Oh, man.

Stupid how tired I feel
just from lack of water.

♪

I wonder how my fellow
contestants are doing.

♪ ♪

Lock in a little of the heat,
how we warm up our soup.

How I warm up my soup.

I don't know why I'm
on this we thing.

I guess it's just...

guess I'm just alone.

♪

As hard as I am on myself,
I haven't once gone to bed

hungry, and I'm still here.

So I may not be great
at what I'm doing,

but I'm stubborn
enough to keep trying,

and that's the important
thing, and that's

what I need to remember.

OK.

I need to cut firewood.

♪

[saw scraping]

♪

[groans]

Got a pain right below my rib.

[groans]

♪

It's obvious my body
is degrading because I

can't feed it properly.

Pain-wise, it's not,
like, agonizing,

but it's uncomfortable.

[groans]

My body is so
depleted right now.

I feel the weakest that
I've felt in my entire life.

♪

I can ignore the signs of
my body if I want something,

and I want to win this so bad.

I'm trying to stay
positive, but damn it,

I feel my body weakening
and I'm getting scared.

I still have fight in me.

I'm going to keep on fighting.

I'm not done yet, and
that's all that matters.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

All right.

Woke up and got
hungry a little bit,

so I'm digging in
my stash right now.

And I realized how
kind of insane this is.

I have a fish head on my bed,
and I'm just cutting at it

like it's a normal thing.

♪ ♪

It should be good.

All right, let's cook it.

If you ain't keeping
white fish heads

and burbot heads at the foot
of your bed that y'all can cut

into on a whim when you get
a midnight snack craving,

then you ain't even living yet.

Come on.

"Alone," you are
something else, man.

What have you done to me?

You know, I'm very tempted
to go peek at that gill net.

I mean, I don't know
what time it is,

but I think I'm going
to strap on a camera

and go right now

because there could be
a damn fish in there.

♪

I think these fish
come in there,

and they're in there, like, all
night, twisting and turning.

And then I sometimes
lose some because

I don't check it often enough.

♪

[wolves howling]

♪

I'm hearing wolves
howling over here.

♪

They're not that far this way.

♪

That's kind of spooky.

Hopefully, those
wolves don't come

through here tonight
and get too worried

about all my damn fish.

[wolves howling]

Out here, it's like
one day at a time, man.

And if you can grind
through, then eventually,

you'll make it to the end.

And that's what I did in school.

Boy.

Yeah, this thing's going
to be iced up tomorrow.

♪

School was hell.

The fact that I
finished high school

was amazing because
I wanted to quit.

I mean, I almost
just bailed out.

In fact, I remember
a day where I

was going to drive
to northern Minnesota

with a canoe on top of my car
and just freaking disappear.

Nothing.

What a bummer.

I hope those coneys keep coming.

Man.

And I thought, damn, I can
get away from these people

in the wilderness, man.

I can get away from people
in general out there.

There's no place for me
safer than in the middle

of a deep, dark, nasty forest
in the middle of the night

because nobody is going to be
out there trying to hurt me.

Sounds like a damn good
place to be most of the time.

♪

Clear night out.

Crystal clear.

Oh my God.

Oh my God, dude.

I was going to
look at the stars,

and I have my
glasses in my pocket.

That part that was cracked
right there, and now...

now they're really screwed.

[exhales]

I've got to go fix my
glasses now because I sure

can't hunt without glasses.

[wolves howling]

Damn.

Going pretty bonkers tonight.

♪

Hunting mice.

♪

The nights are getting
so much longer,

but I sleep less and less.

It's just, laying
still for that long,

your kidneys start to hurt.

Your lower back
can start to hurt.

He may not come back out.

He's going to stay back
behind the firewood

where I can't sh**t him.

But I mean, I'm not tapping
out because of pain.

That'll never happen.

♪

Run around, little mousey.

♪

I ate fish, so now
it's time to remake

my glasses out of willow.

I want to try heating
up this paracord

and then dripping
the burning dots

along the edge of the
lenses to try to seal

them in there that way.

It'll be like welding it.

Yeah, that's strong.

And then I've got
to attach the arms.

♪

We've got glasses again.

Ehhhhh.

[laughs]

♪

Most nights, I'm thinking
too many things at once,

and I come up with actually
a lot of good ideas.

Well... yeah, so.

Ahh.

♪

Oh, man.

I've been up for hours.

My left kidney is
freaking screaming at me.

Hurts so bad, no matter
what position I get in.

I don't know what's going
on, but oh my God, it hurts.

It's like there's just a knife
just, like, plunged into it.

I just don't want to cause
long-term damage, you know?

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

It's horrible.

Oh, [bleep].

[dramatic music]

Last night, I was up
all night long with what

I suspect is kidney pain.

It feels like it's work
to hold my body upright.

My core is, like... [groans].

That's weird.

Oh, come on, core.

Get strong.

We can do this.

♪

I'm going to go
take a bird walk.

Hopefully, like, find
a bird and maybe,

like, be able to sh**t a bird.

♪

I've never in my life
had pain like this.

It's like a knife is being
stuck into my kidney.

Oh, where are you,
little game birds?

Fly up, little birdies.

Let me see you.

Yeah, I didn't think so.

Think I'll keep walking.

The pain is so bad,
my brain is spinning.

Ooh, [bleep].

Did I not boil water?

Did I eat something
I shouldn't have?

You know, what is
happening that I

have this agony inside of me?

Oh, come on, body.

I need you to hang on.

I might be causing serious
damage if I don't get help.

Oh my God.

This sucks.

[sighs]

♪

It [bleep] hurts.

[exhales]

♪

This is harder than I
thought it was going to be.

[exhales]

♪

It's the right decision,
even if it hurts.

It's the right decision.

♪

This is Sarah, and I am
officially tapping out today.

♪ ♪

[sighs]

♪ ♪

I was having some
what I thought was

a muscular pain in my back.

But last night, I realized
it wasn't muscular.

It was more kidney-related.

♪

I'm normally a suck it up
and ignore the medical issue

kind of person, but I made
a promise to my husband

that I would tap
out one day before I

break physically or mentally.

And I can't afford
to have organ issues.

That would be breaking, and
I'm going to keep this promise.

♪

It's extremely
hard to leave here.

My spirit says I
can keep fighting.

I just don't think my body can.

This has been the
most challenging thing

I've ever done,
challenging physically,

mentally, emotionally,
spiritually.

But I feel like
there's a certain

inner strength I found.

You know, I was out
here for 42 days,

and that's an accomplishment.

You can't do that if you
don't have any skills.

♪

I slayed some demons out here.

The voice that has been
following me around

and screaming in my ears about
not ever being good enough,

you know, to have
that down to a whisper

is an amazing, amazing
thing when it's been yelling

in my head for my entire life.

♪ ♪

I truly feel like I'm
walking out a better person,

and not just for me,
but for everybody

around me, especially my
daughter and granddaughter.

I'm excited to go
and lift them up.

It's not just about
lifting myself up anymore.

I'm thinking bigger picture.

♪

I am starting to see that
I am a beautiful person,

and I am worthy.

I wish it was constant,
but I'm learning.

I may not be all the way there
but definitely getting closer.

♪

[tense music]

♪ ♪

[laughs]

♪

There's an old saying, you know?

Take what you need
and use what you take.

And you know, if you're going
to survive off the land,

you've got to respect the land.

And you know, don't
abuse it, and the land

will always provide for you.

Always.

Well, well, well.

Yeah.

A hind beaver foot.

[laughs] Take the whole pile.

That's going to be much.

Food cache, just wish we
had more to cache here.

That'd be an ideal situation.

♪

Yes, sir.

I don't want to eat all the
beaver right now because just

trying to extend my
food supply right now

is the biggest challenge.

This beaver's much
smaller than I want.

It's a little papoose, but
I'm not seeing anything else,

and it's all I've
got at the moment.

♪

I'm just waiting for that ice
to get safe enough to walk on

so I could get more fish.

I've got a feeling.

Probably be a couple days.

All right.

[groans] Here we are.

See what we've got here.

Oh my gosh.

See?

Look at all that luscious fat.

That's just from the paw alone.

♪

There's only three sayings
that I really do believe in.

Pain is only weakness
leaving the body,

when the going gets tough,
the tough get going.

That's all that's left,
these little claws.

A fantastic dinner.

Yes, sir.

[dramatic music]

♪

♪

Looks like the
start of a good day.

The first order of
business, as always,

have a look at the snares.

♪

Nothing here and nothing there.

Have a little peep down here.

♪

Next stop, food cache.

It's time to rock
up to my food cache

and enjoy some
delicious beaver meat.

♪

I've got nothing
else to eat anyway,

so I've got no other choice.

All around my cache setup here.

I'm not going to take
it all at the moment.

I'll just take so
much to guarantee

that I keep moving forward.

[groaning]

Some of these rocks are heavy.

I'm not seeing my beaver meat.

No way.

This has got to be a trick.

There's no way anything
can get in there.

♪

That's got to be a trick.

There's no effing way.

♪

There's no way.

I'm sick to my stomach.

♪

I find that hard to believe.

I don't believe it.

I hardly see it proper.

I'm not kidding you.

I am not kidding you.

It's all gone.

Holy [bleep].

It can't be.

♪

Even the tail is
gone, the little tail.

♪ ♪

Not a sign of anything.

♪

I'm in a critical state.

This is probably the worst state

I've been in since I got here.

Not a freaking thing.

The only safe place I had left.

I'm completely out of food.

And now looks like I
might even have to fast.

It's freaking devastating.

♪

Here goes for a project.

I'm making gorge hooks, fish,

from rib bones.

I'm going to try to bust it up.

Let's see if I can get
edge bits like this.

♪ ♪

Gorge hooks are basically
like a big splinter,

and they go inside the
bait straight ways,

and the fish swallows it.

And then the sharp point
catches in the fish's throat,

and they turn sideways.

♪

I'm excited about this one,
really excited about this one.

I hope it works.

You guys know how many
hooks I have left?

Four steel hooks.

Four.

If these work, there's no
limit to the fishing I can do.

♪

This one's different.

I'm going to make this one
in a crescent moon design.

♪

This is cool.

Here's our half-moon
shape, crescent moon shape

with a hole in the middle.

The wire leader's
going to go to that,

and then it's got two
really sharp ends there.

We'll deploy these tonight.

Man, I hope these work.

But right now, I'm ready
to go check the snare line.

♪

Well, I'm just out on my
snare line, chewing on jerky.

All right.

I had five snares
set up in here.

My thoughts are always
running along the lines of,

how long will this season go?

And that's why I need to stock
up on as much food as I can.

OK.

I see one empty snare.

When I first heard where
it was going to be,

it's all scary.

Ooh!

Deep Arctic!

And I'm like, this
could be a short season.

Two empty snare.

Well, I'm convinced that it's
going to be the opposite.

I think it's going
to be a long season.

I think it's going to
easily go past 70 days.

Three empty snare.

There's tough people
on this season.

William is tough.

Jake is tough.

And I think Dub is
ridiculously tough.

I bet you that dude
sticks in a long time.

So I'm going to keep pressing
through this and do my best.

Gonna check a snare up in here.

I've got one back in this brush.

Ooh!

Ooh, ooh.

Guys, almost last snare.

I've got a hare, but
it's still alive.

I've got to get a stick
and get over there.

♪ ♪

All right, buddy.

[grunts]

Yeah, OK.

Come on.

Awesome!

I got one!

I got food for today.

And that's a big one too.

That's a big hare.

So grateful.

♪

Getting this hare really
encourages me because it

directly affects my longevity.

♪

If I were only
eating hare, I would

be concerned because
you can starve

to death eating lean meat.

There we go.

I'm going to skin
its head and eat it.

It's called protein starvation.

Your body needs the
oils and the fats

more out here in
this cold weather

especially than it needs all
the protein from that meat.

But the great fact is that
I have this moose lard,

and I think that will
be a good balance

to keep me with
enough fat to process

the proteins from the hare.

And I think that way, I could
have a ton of longevity.

So as I was holding it, you
could hear its heartbeat...

pap, pap, pap, pap, pap,
pap, pap... slow down.

To me, that's a big
moment because life is

so precious, like every life.

♪

I just honor life right now.

Life is special.

Life is very special.

And I'm alive.

I'm alive in the Arctic.

And I've still got it.

I'm still dangerous.

I'm still good to go.

♪

Because of the hare, I'm
filled with a most comfortable

feeling at this moment.

But I've worked in a lot
of different countries,

and I realized how many
people live in fear, you know?

So many of you,

you know that I'm a
humanitarian aid worker,

but I guess I've
never taken the time

to explain exactly what
that is and what that means.

Like, here's my motivation.

When I was a kid, I grew
up in a lot of fear.

There was a lot of things
I was told about, you know,

the government.

I remember going
to bed every night

thinking that SWAT team
would steal all of us

kids away in the
middle of the night.

♪

And then one of my great
fears was realized.

My brother, who I was
super close with...

we did everything together...

he was shot by a g*ng while
he was delivering pizza

one night to pay for college.

♪

He lived.

But I remember standing on the
street corner the next morning,

seeing where he'd been shot,
and there was so much blood

on the street, like
buckets of blood.

And I sensed the end
of life right there.

I sensed that it's meaningless
unless there's something

more than fear to live in.

♪ ♪

So a chance came up to
go on a missions trip

through my church.

We went to Ukraine, and
there were orphanages.

And all the folks
from the church

were doing their
programs, and I was there,

and I would help out.

But I began to see something
take place there in a way

I'd never seen before.

I began to see
people loving others

less fortunate than themselves.

Those orphans were living in
fear, and as people loved them,

the fear went away.

And I knew there was something
there that I had to pursue

with everything I had.

And God found me there.

So I go to places,
w*r zones sometimes,

countries where people
don't have as much.

People judge me all the time.

They think it's...
they think I do shady

stuff in other countries.

No.

I just can't talk about
everything that we do.

Because in some countries,
you wouldn't believe it,

but it's ill*gal to help.

I want to see fear go
away from somebody's eyes

like it went away from
mine when love found me.

♪

So now you know Timber
a little better.

That's me in a nutshell.

♪

I'm telling you, to lose that
beaver meat is devastating.

But it's not the
trouble that'll get you.

And that's out here too.

It's not trouble.

It's how you deal with trouble.

It's how you handle trouble is
going to make a big difference.

When the going gets tough,
the tough get going,

and that's true, you know?

You've got to... that's just it.

You've got to... just got to go.

So all is good.

Never cry over spilled milk.

The beaver's gone.

I think my best
option right now...

First order of
business, I'm making

an ice ladder to get out to
the heavier ice in the center.

Look at that.

Whoo-hoo!

♪

Get some fish back
on the menu, boy.

This is quite risky.

I don't know how thick
the ice is, but...

I've got to do whatever I can

to get fish quick because I
can't fast for too many days.

I'm in a critical state,
and this is my best chance

to get some oily, greasy food.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

♪

This would be a blessing.

♪

♪

♪

[dramatic music]

♪

[loud clattering]

Oh my God.

Isn't that lucky?

Oh my God.

Oh!

Oh, that is so lucky.

I'm going to go over and
cook him now pretty soon.

I feel blessed.

I really do.

You would never,
ever, ever... you

can't beat the smile off
my face with a hammer

here right now.

This is a fantastic day.

Whoo!

And now I'm going to
have a fantastic meal.

Thank you, Lord.

Oh, it's time of need again.

Thank you.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I'm going to do the
happy dance this time.

Yeah! I'm going to.

Whoo-hoo!

Oh my God.

Officially out of food.

Like, I was out.

I was completely out.

I mean, the beaver, that was...

that was the plan.

And when you go up and
your beaver's gone,

well, there goes the plan.

Now I'm going to drink
the water out of my pot.

[laughs]

This is huge.

It can buy me some time so
I'll be able to hopefully

get some fish.

Oh, beautiful, beautiful grouse.

Now, I've got to show you this.

All right.

So this right here
is the gross crop.

It was in his throat.

People back home in
Labrador, you blow it

up and tie the other end over.

And you know, people hang
them on their Christmas tree.

They hang them up along
their window sills.

See here now?

I'm going to... [blowing]

You blow it up there
and tie it over.

It's much nicer
with needles in it.

[humming]

♪

Is that amazing, or what?

Yeah, look at this.

Good old raw, grouse liver.

Get that down there.

Oh, stomach's
going to love that.

Ahh.

♪

[belches]

Dude, I'm going to puke.

[retching] Ooh.

♪

Stop feeling like this, dude.

♪ ♪

[retching]

Oh, [bleep] my life.

♪

All right.

I just opened up my door for
the first time in a long time.

And then I've got to
tell you guys some stuff

been going on here.

I've been sick, really
sick, for three days.

I barely left bed.

I go check my burbot
lines, I come back here,

and I go back to bed.

That's all I've done.

And I'll probably do
the same thing today.

So going to check the gill
net, that sort of thing.

My stomach is feeling
pretty rotten.

It's all bubbly.

I had really, really bad
diarrhea for three days.

I don't know what I did, if
it was food poisoning or what,

but this is physically
and mentally draining.

Dude, when I was sick,
I have some freaking

reindeer moss hanging on
my wall for a long time.

So I boiled it,
like, four times,

and then I ate that
whole damn pot.

My stomach stopped
hurting a bit.

The carbs might have
helped, or maybe they

soaked up some of the toxins.

I ate some charcoal.

That might have helped
a little bit too.

Who knows?

Just trying to make it through.

♪

Another empty gill net.

[groans]

Damn, man, these days.

♪

It's freaking rough
out here, you guys.

On every "Alone:
they say that, but...

[laughs] they're
not kidding, man.

They are not kidding.

This is hell out here.

♪

This is like a damn survival
b*ttlefield out here.

♪ ♪

You're hungry.

You're tired.

You may not be sleeping at all.

And you're worried
every single night

that you're going to
have a grizzly bear

come knock your door down.

It is hard.

Just cooking up
some sort of fish,

whatever the hell I can find.

I know that burbot is on top.

I'm forcing down food.

I won't stop eating because
I'm not going to let

myself get too far gone.

Really cold hands.

I'm worried I'm going
to run out of energy.

I've got a long ways to
go to win this thing.

♪

Soon as I eat this,
I'm going back to bed.

I'm a little upset
right now, to be honest,

because I don't know
if I could pull through

this unscathed.

♪

Here we go.

Please don't make me sick.

♪

Oh, [bleep].

Wish I hadn't seen that.

♪

Oh, I really wish I
hadn't just seen that.

Oh, [bleep] me.

Dude.

[bleep].

Oh, [bleep] me.

Right there

is worm inside my burbot fillet.

♪

And...

you know what's crazy is,

I'm thinking about eating
the rest of the burbot.

I don't like wasting the
best-tasting fish I have

because I found a worm in it
when I can just boil the hell

out of it and
probably not get sick,

"probably" being a
very important word.

[bleep] man.

But if I go through
another bout of sickness,

then I'm probably gone.

My body can't handle that again.

The day I caught
that burbot just

so happened to be the day I
started to feel like holy hell.

That's the day I
started eating it.

OK.

We're just going to
lay off that burbot.

♪

Tell you guys what, man.

♪

The tapping urge

starts really small,
and it builds.

It builds on itself until
it's all you can think about.

♪ ♪

And it will not stop.

I totally get why people tap out

when there's something
wrong with their stomachs

on this show.

It's brutal, man.

You can't do anything.

And it only gets worse
the further along it gets.

Like, the more you
don't get water,

the more you don't get food,
the worse your body's getting.

♪

It would be so easy
to push the button

and just go home and end it

because this hurts.

And I'm not sure how much
more of this I can take.

I don't like this feeling, man.

I never thought it
would be able to creep

into my consciousness
the way that it has.

It had me thinking
about tapping so much.

It's like there's one
little hole that says, ooh,

you can tap.

And then, like, a
finger goes in the hole,

and it tears the hole bigger.

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

Please, tap, tap, tap, tap.

It all starts pouring through,
and then more and more and more

and more, more and more.

And then before you know
it, you're surrounded.

Everything is a reason to tap.

♪ ♪

I don't know how much more
time I got in me, man.

♪ ♪

Man, this would be so
cool if we have a fish

on these old gorge hooks.

[fire crackling]

It is cold outside, but
it's very warm in here.

Going to show you
a couple little

projects that I'm working on.

See, I've got two little boys.

They'll definitely want
Daddy to bring them

home something
hand-carved, so I'm making

these little furry foxes.

This is a little fox face.

And I've got two
little heads finished.

I'm going to cut this one off.

My sons, they've
had a hard life.

Because of this
humanitarian work,

they've had to say goodbye
permanently to many friends

that they've made in
various countries.

They accept a lot
of what's going on.

These little tails in the holes.

But I want to find a
way to live this life

that doesn't hurt them.

My nine-year-old son,
Levi, made me promise.

He's like, Daddy,
promise you won't

tap out because you miss me.

I said OK.

So that was a fun
little project,

and I think they
turned out pretty good.

Man, I'm getting skinny.

Good Lord.

Wow.

♪

I'm getting so skinny
that it's almost scary.

♪

I'm eating, but I'm still
just burning so many

more calories than I'm eating.

How is that possible?

I don't know.

I'm going to go have a
look at the fish lines.

Man, I'm hoping some fish bites.

Oh, it looks like
the mink is out here.

Yep, there he is.

Ooh, the line has moved.

This fish line has
a gorge hook on it,

and it's pulled straight.

♪ ♪

I hope like crazy
there's a fish on there.

That'd be so cool.

♪

There's something on there.

There's something.

There's something.
There's something.

I think it's a fish.

I don't think it's a log.

Oh, yeah.

I got a fish!

I got a fish on a gorge hook!

I got a fish on the gorge hook!

Don't get off! Don't get off!

Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah!

Guys, I got a fish
on a piece of bone,

on a piece of moose bone!

Ha-ha!

Now if you can see,
that bone, the wire

is going down his throat,
and that bone is sticking

out the side of his throat.

There was no way in the world
he was getting off of that.

That's the coolest thing ever.

I just caught this fish
on a piece of moose bone.

Rah!

♪

It's been a great day.

I'm happy living out
here wild and free

like a wild beast.

When the wind howls like this

and the cold north
wind blows in,

it stirs my blood!

I'm thinner than I need to
be, but I'm not too thin.

I'm hungrier than I want to
be, but I'm not too hungry.

I'm just having a good time.

♪

And that's what my wife
told me right before I left.

She said, just have fun.

Get drunk on the wilderness
like you like to do.

And I did that today.

Ahh!

This is my north country!

Ha-ha!

Wa-pshh!

Now this is "Alone."

Now it's the real deal.

Now we get cracking.

Ahh!

[dramatic music]

♪

I don't know what the hell's
going on with my gill net

right here.

There's got to be a
fish in there, right?

Yeah, there's a fish in there.

♪

Yes!

♪

Probably the last day
for this gill net.

Then we'll be ice fishing.

I don't know how big these
things are supposed to get,

but that's freaking huge, man.

Oh my God.

Look at the size of that thing.

Count our blessings, man.

We got a big fish today.

That's... at this rate, it's
probably, like, a week of food.

♪ ♪

It's nice, cleaning
fish with the snow.

Man, you finally don't
have dirt all over them.

To make it through
this, you've got

to be, like, stubborn as hell.

I had a rough childhood.

I got picked on a lot.

But to be frank, I don't
think I would change a thing.

If you don't have those
hardships and those turmoils,

you could end up weak.

I don't think I turned out weak.

And wouldn't trade any
one of those punches

and any one of those insults
or remarks for anything.

♪

Yeah, I'm excited.

You know that feeling you
get when you're, like...

after you've been sick for a
few days and you're recovered

and you just finally
feel normal again?

I feel pretty good.

Just throw it in the cooler.

Jeez.

[bleep].

♪ ♪

A mouse has been eating
and defecating...

defecating.

That's the nicest word
I've used all day.

Usually I just say [bleep]
[bleep] all over my fish.

I'm not sure what to do with it.

[bleep], man.

Come on, bro.

♪

They got this pike about ruined,

because they've been, like,

inside of it, eating like
crazy and just crapping

all over inside of it.

Look at that.

That's all mouse crap in there.

[bleep] man, what a nightmare.

This fish here, that pike is...

I can't... I'm not
going to eat that pike,

man, because it's
probably what got me sick.

That's why I've been sick for
a week is because of this,

because of this mouse crap.

I've been eating...
I've been eating it.

I'm sure of it.

It's like in it,
and it's been...

and it's been in there,
seeping into the meat

for days and days.

I just can't.

That's such a bummer.

That was my last pike.

My entire food stash is trashed.

Man, it's like,
look at how they've

chewed all right
there, all right there,

and then all that dark stuff.

That's all mouse crap.

All that, it's all mouse crap.

Everything.

I mean, how can I eat that?

I mean, I can...

I can cut this tail;
that I can save.

I've literally been eating
mouse crap that I thought

was dirt, and here I am.

The future of my life is
in the hands of a shrew.

That's a day's worth of food,
maybe a little more, spared.

Everything, man.

Every piece of freaking
food you got out here,

you've got to...

it's hard.

It's hard to keep safe.

Unsavable, all that.

♪

I've got a week of
food right there.

Plus, I've got a
freaking two weeks

probably on that damn inconnu.

Like, every bit of food I
have, I need, man, to make

it to the end of this thing.

Don't know how much
I can handle here.

♪

If I wasn't so stubborn,
I'd tap right now.

♪

Oh, Jesus, it did move.

♪

Whoa! Oh!

Yeah!

Something making a weird
noise with my food cache.

♪

I'm going to go look.

♪

♪ I think it's about
time for me to go ♪

♪ ♪

[bleep]. [bleep].

♪