01x05 - as*ault, Off-Asgard!

[bunniefuu]

Listen up.
We're holding a ton of you guys,

so answer "present"
when your name is called.

- Doc Ock.
- Present.

- Venom.
- Presssent.

- Abomination.
- Here!

- Mandarin.
- I'm here.

- Red Skull...
- Jawohl!

Arise, my Army.

Now, let's hop.
Hop. Big hop!

- Fury, something's up.
- This is at least a code 16!

- Maybe 17!
- Not again.

There.
The mansion is totally rebuilt.

Aw man!

The supercriminals are all breaking out!

They're destroying the Helicarrier.

You owe me a house, Fury.

Thor. Good to see you.

I found him whining
outside Avengers Tower.

The Man of Spiders.

I wasn't whining, I was angsting.
Totally different.

If we could just find the source

of that weird blue energy.

That's Norn Frost.
Oh, brother, what have you done?

- Wahhh!
- Iron Man. Angst-y one!

Come. Heimdall!

Finally.

Oh no.

- Loki!
- Don't "Loki" me. I'm hideous.

By my own Norn Frost enchantment,

I have made myself
indescribably powerf...

- Oooh! Brain freeze.
- Quick, before he recovers.

I think he recovered.

Huh?

No-o-o!
Stop.

Stop, it tickles!

I've never had that
reaction to my repulsor ray.

Nor I to Mjolnir's lightning.

Loki has become unstoppable.

Loki, what's all this about?

Oh, I just thought, you know,
meddle in the affairs of Earth,

raise an army, and...
take the throne of Asgard.

Sorry, I didn't get the last part.

- Take the throne of Asgard?
- Even I know that's not cool,

and I don't even know
what's going on.

W-W-Whoa, w-whoa!

Whoo! Oh no!

Oh, come on.

T-t-tt-t-ttthh!

Spinning! Out of control!

I cannot let you slide
this time, brother.

Remove your enchantment, and vow to

never again disturb
the peace of Midgard.

Now brother, let me counter with...

Ah. Remember when we were boys?

Not the hammer noogie.
Anything but that!

I yield, I yield.

Huh?

- Vat the...?
- That's our cue, heroes.

And another thing, Loki.
I must tell father Odin.

Go ahead. Go crying to Papa.

No... no, actually, please don't.

And don't tell him I
was watching the mirror.

He took away my scrying
privileges three centuries ago.

Thor, I'm serious!

Puny god.

I hate that guy.

- I don't like it here.
- It ssstinksss!

The Mandarin will return!

I've got a plan B...
It's not over!

It's never over with Abomination.

Well, it looks like the good guys won.

Earth is safe, Asgard is safe,

Tony's Stark's house is
repaired, the Helicarrier

is back in the air, and
the bad guys are locked up.

Ah, this is all my fault.

- Ah, here we go.
- Really?

- Come on.
- Son, I don't mind angst.

I've even indulged in a little
brooding myself now and again.

But how can this possibly
be all your fault?

It'll come to me.

Well, I've got something
to chase the angst away.

- A SHIELD security card.
- I can haz kebabs?

Uh... sure. And...
a Spider-Bike.

Score!
Goodbye, angst!

Whoo-hoo! Yeah!

So like I was saying,
great job, everybody.

- Yeah! - Huzza!
- Thanks for the help!

- Defenders Dissemble!
- Kebabs all around.

What the...?
That can't be good.

Why-y-y-y?

Spider-Man's behind this,
I know it!