02x06 - God's Blunders

[bunniefuu]

[School bell rings]
boy, orel, I wish this class
wasn't just once a month.

Boy, orel, I wish this class
wasn't just once a month.
I sure do love science.

Wasn't just once a month.
I sure do love science.
I guess it's just the way it

I sure do love science.
I guess it's just the way it
has to be, tommy.

I guess it's just the way it
has to be, tommy.
Reverend putty is a very busy

Has to be, tommy.
Reverend putty is a very busy
man.

Reverend putty is a very busy
man.
All right.

Man.
All right.
Settle down, everyone.

All right.
Settle down, everyone.
Who can remember february's

Settle down, everyone.
Who can remember february's
lesson?

Orel?
We learned that the solar
system is made up of 10% gas,

We learned that the solar
system is made up of 10% gas,
20% sin, and 70% heaven-flavored

System is made up of 10% gas,
20% sin, and 70% heaven-flavored
afterlife.

20% Sin, and 70% heaven-flavored
afterlife.
Very good.

Afterlife.
Very good.
Any questions on that?

Very good.
Any questions on that?
Doughy.

Any questions on that?
Doughy.
Is sin radioactive?

Doughy.
Is sin radioactive?
Yes. That's why it's

Is sin radioactive?
Yes. That's why it's
dangerous to get it near your

Yes. That's why it's
dangerous to get it near your
groin.

Dangerous to get it near your
groin.
Yikes.?

Groin.
Yikes.?
But, reverend putty...

Yikes.?
But, reverend putty...
Yes, tommy?

But, reverend putty...
Yes, tommy?
I thought 4% of the universe

Yes, tommy?
I thought 4% of the universe
is made up of atoms and--

I thought 4% of the universe
is made up of atoms and--
tommy, can't you listen?

Is made up of atoms and--
tommy, can't you listen?
But I read in a book that--

Tommy, can't you listen?
But I read in a book that--
well, I read "dracula" in a

But I read in a book that--
well, I read "dracula" in a
book, but that doesn't mean I

Well, I read "dracula" in a
book, but that doesn't mean I
believe in transylvania.

Book, but that doesn't mean I
believe in transylvania.
Hee hee!

Believe in transylvania.
Hee hee!
Atoms?

Hee hee!
Atoms?
Ok. This baking soda

Atoms?
Ok. This baking soda
represents angels.

Ok. This baking soda
represents angels.
This vinegar represents god's

Represents angels.
This vinegar represents god's
will, and this bottle is...

This vinegar represents god's
will, and this bottle is...
The holy ghost?

Will, and this bottle is...
The holy ghost?
No.

The holy ghost?
No.
The holy spirit.

No.
The holy spirit.
Yes, and when they're mixed

The holy spirit.
Yes, and when they're mixed
together, we see how god created

Yes, and when they're mixed
together, we see how god created
the earth 6,000 years ago.

Together, we see how god created
the earth 6,000 years ago.
Wow. Smells like easter eggs.

The earth 6,000 years ago.
Wow. Smells like easter eggs.
That's a long time.

Wow. Smells like easter eggs.
That's a long time.
In fact, 6,000 years is the

That's a long time.
In fact, 6,000 years is the
longest time there could ever

In fact, 6,000 years is the
longest time there could ever
be.

Longest time there could ever
be.
Hmm.

Be.
Hmm.
But then how does time keep

Hmm.
But then how does time keep
going?

But then how does time keep
going?
Here's how, and I'll see you

Going?
Here's how, and I'll see you
after school.

Here's how, and I'll see you
after school.
Hey, tommy, want to play

After school.
Hey, tommy, want to play
supergod?

Hey, tommy, want to play
supergod?
I don't mind being the deviller

Supergod?
I don't mind being the deviller
this time.

I don't mind being the deviller
this time.
It's only pretend.

This time.
It's only pretend.
"Devil me this, supergod."

It's only pretend.
"Devil me this, supergod."
Orel, do you think I'm

"Devil me this, supergod."
Orel, do you think I'm
stupid?

Orel, do you think I'm
stupid?
Well, I think that--

Stupid?
Well, I think that--
it's just--

Well, I think that--
it's just--
god is perfect, right?

It's just--
god is perfect, right?
And god made you, so you must be

God is perfect, right?
And god made you, so you must be
perfect just how you are.

And god made you, so you must be
perfect just how you are.
I don't know.

Perfect just how you are.
I don't know.
I try to understand what

I don't know.
I try to understand what
reverend putty teaches, but

I try to understand what
reverend putty teaches, but
sometimes it just doesn't make

Reverend putty teaches, but
sometimes it just doesn't make
sense to me.

Sometimes it just doesn't make
sense to me.
Well, I can tutor you.

Sense to me.
Well, I can tutor you.
Hey, that's a great idea.

Well, I can tutor you.
Hey, that's a great idea.
You soak in everything he says

Hey, that's a great idea.
You soak in everything he says
like a sponge.

You soak in everything he says
like a sponge.
Yeah, and I can make your

Like a sponge.
Yeah, and I can make your
brain a sponge, too.

Yeah, and I can make your
brain a sponge, too.
Now let's play.

Brain a sponge, too.
Now let's play.
Ok.

Now let's play.
Ok.
Da da da...

Ok.
Da da da...
Regular god--mild-mannered

Da da da...
Regular god--mild-mannered
and all-powerful creator of the

Regular god--mild-mannered
and all-powerful creator of the
universe, but at a moment's

And all-powerful creator of the
universe, but at a moment's
notice, he can become...

Universe, but at a moment's
notice, he can become...
Supergod--more powerful than

Notice, he can become...
Supergod--more powerful than
all-powerful.

Supergod--more powerful than
all-powerful.
Can create a rock so heavy that

All-powerful.
Can create a rock so heavy that
even regular god can't lift it.

Can create a rock so heavy that
even regular god can't lift it.
Well, quite frankly, mr. And

Even regular god can't lift it.
Well, quite frankly, mr. And
mrs. Littles, your son tommy

Well, quite frankly, mr. And
mrs. Littles, your son tommy
scored poorly on his iq test.

Mrs. Littles, your son tommy
scored poorly on his iq test.
Oh, dear.

Scored poorly on his iq test.
Oh, dear.
I don't understand.

Oh, dear.
I don't understand.
He's always studying.

I don't understand.
He's always studying.
Studying doesn't help with iq

He's always studying.
Studying doesn't help with iq
tests.

Studying doesn't help with iq
tests.
That's why it's the perfect

Tests.
That's why it's the perfect
measurement for how stupid he

That's why it's the perfect
measurement for how stupid he
is.

Measurement for how stupid he
is.
How stupid is he?

Is.
How stupid is he?
Very. You see, these

How stupid is he?
Very. You see, these
questionnaires were developed by

Very. You see, these
questionnaires were developed by
professors at moralton

Questionnaires were developed by
professors at moralton
university.

Professors at moralton
university.
Take a look.

University.
Take a look.
"Complete the pattern--

Take a look.
"Complete the pattern--
flower, bud, stem, seed..."

"Complete the pattern--
flower, bud, stem, seed..."
God's giggles.

Flower, bud, stem, seed..."
God's giggles.
Pretty straightforward, eh?

God's giggles.
Pretty straightforward, eh?
And he got that wrong?

Pretty straightforward, eh?
And he got that wrong?
Well, his answer was

And he got that wrong?
Well, his answer was
pollination.

Well, his answer was
pollination.
That's moronic.

Pollination.
That's moronic.
Now, now, "moronic" is a

That's moronic.
Now, now, "moronic" is a
harsh word and not socially

Now, now, "moronic" is a
harsh word and not socially
acceptable anymore.

Harsh word and not socially
acceptable anymore.
We prefer to call your son

Acceptable anymore.
We prefer to call your son
Ret*rded.

We prefer to call your son
Ret*rded.
Oh, my tommy.

Ret*rded.
Oh, my tommy.
Although it's exactly as bad

Oh, my tommy.
Although it's exactly as bad
as it seems, the consolation is

Although it's exactly as bad
as it seems, the consolation is
that we do have a class here at

As it seems, the consolation is
that we do have a class here at
diorama elementary that will

That we do have a class here at
diorama elementary that will
generously condescend to his

Diorama elementary that will
generously condescend to his
lack of mental capabilities.

Generously condescend to his
lack of mental capabilities.
With a qualified teacher?

Lack of mental capabilities.
With a qualified teacher?
Qualifiedoh, no, no, no.

With a qualified teacher?
Qualifiedoh, no, no, no.
We can't waste those...

Qualifiedoh, no, no, no.
We can't waste those...
Hmm, but we can assign him a

We can't waste those...
Hmm, but we can assign him a
brain buddy to keep him from

Hmm, but we can assign him a
brain buddy to keep him from
spazzing out in public.

Brain buddy to keep him from
spazzing out in public.
[Imitating airplane]

Spazzing out in public.
[Imitating airplane]
orel!

[Imitating airplane]
orel!
Yes, principal fakey?

Orel!
Yes, principal fakey?
Report to my office

Yes, principal fakey?
Report to my office
immediately!

Report to my office
immediately!
Hot dog!

Immediately!
Hot dog!
I'll be right back, tommy.

Hot dog!
I'll be right back, tommy.
What kind of sandwich do I

I'll be right back, tommy.
What kind of sandwich do I
have today, mom?

What kind of sandwich do I
have today, mom?
Bologna, and I'm packing some

Have today, mom?
Bologna, and I'm packing some
potato chips, too.

Bologna, and I'm packing some
potato chips, too.
[Humming]

Potato chips, too.
[Humming]
what are you doing?

[Humming]
what are you doing?
Well, we don't want you to

What are you doing?
Well, we don't want you to
choke now, do we?

Well, we don't want you to
choke now, do we?
I'm not going to choke.

Choke now, do we?
I'm not going to choke.
Get ready.

I'm not going to choke.
Get ready.
Orel will be here soon.

Get ready.
Orel will be here soon.
Orel?

Orel will be here soon.
Orel?
Hey, I'm not taking my bike,

Orel?
Hey, I'm not taking my bike,
mom.

Hey, I'm not taking my bike,
mom.
Of course not.

Mom.
Of course not.
You're not allowed to ride that

Of course not.
You're not allowed to ride that
thing ever again.

You're not allowed to ride that
thing ever again.
Morning.

Thing ever again.
Morning.
Ready for school, tommy?

Morning.
Ready for school, tommy?
Take care of him, orel.

Ready for school, tommy?
Take care of him, orel.
What's going on?

Take care of him, orel.
What's going on?
Bye, mrs. Littles.

What's going on?
Bye, mrs. Littles.
Bye, tommy. I love you.

Bye, mrs. Littles.
Bye, tommy. I love you.
[Sobbing]

Bye, tommy. I love you.
[Sobbing]
[school bell rings]

[Sobbing]
[school bell rings]
here we are.

[School bell rings]
here we are.
Orel, what's going on?

Here we are.
Orel, what's going on?
This isn't our class.

Orel, what's going on?
This isn't our class.
No, but it's your class now.

This isn't our class.
No, but it's your class now.
I hear it's nice.

No, but it's your class now.
I hear it's nice.
But--

I hear it's nice.
But--
well, well, well.

But--
well, well, well.
This little smarty pants must be

Well, well, well.
This little smarty pants must be
tommy, mustn't he?

This little smarty pants must be
tommy, mustn't he?
I am your new teacher ms.

Tommy, mustn't he?
I am your new teacher ms.
Stoopdown, and these will be

I am your new teacher ms.
Stoopdown, and these will be
your new only friends from now

Stoopdown, and these will be
your new only friends from now
on.

Your new only friends from now
on.
[School bell rings]

On.
[School bell rings]
so you see, children, god

[School bell rings]
so you see, children, god
created numbers to count things

So you see, children, god
created numbers to count things
for us when our brains get

Created numbers to count things
for us when our brains get
tired.

For us when our brains get
tired.
Number two counts two things.

Tired.
Number two counts two things.
Number 8 counts 8 things.

Number two counts two things.
Number 8 counts 8 things.
Does anyone know what number 6

Number 8 counts 8 things.
Does anyone know what number 6
is good at counting?

Does anyone know what number 6
is good at counting?
Very good. 6 Things.

Is good at counting?
Very good. 6 Things.
Oh, look.

Very good. 6 Things.
Oh, look.
The big hand has hit another

Oh, look.
The big hand has hit another
number.

The big hand has hit another
number.
That means I get to have another

Number.
That means I get to have another
break.

That means I get to have another
break.
See you in two numbers.

Break.
See you in two numbers.
Um, I'm not Ret*rded.

See you in two numbers.
Um, I'm not Ret*rded.
Yes, you are.

Um, I'm not Ret*rded.
Yes, you are.
You're religiously Ret*rded

Yes, you are.
You're religiously Ret*rded
like us.

You're religiously Ret*rded
like us.
Yeah. We're curious.

Like us.
Yeah. We're curious.
Don't say that.

Yeah. We're curious.
Don't say that.
It's true. Face it.

Don't say that.
It's true. Face it.
We have open minds.

It's true. Face it.
We have open minds.
Yeah. We don't accept

We have open minds.
Yeah. We don't accept
anything on faith.

Yeah. We don't accept
anything on faith.
The coast is clear.

Anything on faith.
The coast is clear.
Come on. Let's read.

The coast is clear.
Come on. Let's read.
Oh, good. Come on.

Come on. Let's read.
Oh, good. Come on.
Hurry before she gets back.

Oh, good. Come on.
Hurry before she gets back.
Here, tommy.

Hurry before she gets back.
Here, tommy.
Oh, thanks.

Here, tommy.
Oh, thanks.
Ha ha ha! Dunce!

Oh, thanks.
Ha ha ha! Dunce!
Knucklehead!

Ha ha ha! Dunce!
Knucklehead!
Godtard.

Knucklehead!
Godtard.
Ha ha ha!

Godtard.
Ha ha ha!
Sorry I'm late, tommy.

Ha ha ha!
Sorry I'm late, tommy.
Let's go.

Sorry I'm late, tommy.
Let's go.
Hey, orel, what are you doing

Let's go.
Hey, orel, what are you doing
hanging out with this

Hey, orel, what are you doing
hanging out with this
goofytunes?

Hanging out with this
goofytunes?
Yeah.

Goofytunes?
Yeah.
I'm, uh--

Yeah.
I'm, uh--
he's tutoring me.

I'm, uh--
he's tutoring me.
Tutoryou?

He's tutoring me.
Tutoryou?
You're a lost cause.

Tutoryou?
You're a lost cause.
Why, you don't even know how

You're a lost cause.
Why, you don't even know how
many 10 commandments there are.

Why, you don't even know how
many 10 commandments there are.
Ha ha ha!

Many 10 commandments there are.
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha! There are 10 of them.

Ha ha ha!
Ha ha! There are 10 of them.
Tickle, tickle, ow!

Ha ha! There are 10 of them.
Tickle, tickle, ow!
Tickle, tickle, ow!

Tickle, tickle, ow!
Tickle, tickle, ow!
Tickle, tickle, ow!

Tickle, tickle, ow!
Tickle, tickle, ow!
Mom, god is perfect, right?

Tickle, tickle, ow!
Mom, god is perfect, right?
Yes. He's the most handsome,

Mom, god is perfect, right?
Yes. He's the most handsome,
understanding, and satisfying

Yes. He's the most handsome,
understanding, and satisfying
man a woman could ever ask for.

Understanding, and satisfying
man a woman could ever ask for.
Oh, but what about--

Man a woman could ever ask for.
Oh, but what about--
orel, are you trying to make

Oh, but what about--
orel, are you trying to make
me feel inadequate about my

Orel, are you trying to make
me feel inadequate about my
marriage?

Me feel inadequate about my
marriage?
Gosh, no.

Marriage?
Gosh, no.
[Door opens]

Gosh, no.
[Door opens]
stinking dead-end job.

[Door opens]
stinking dead-end job.
Hello, sweetheart.

Stinking dead-end job.
Hello, sweetheart.
There's my gal.

Hello, sweetheart.
There's my gal.
Hey, dad, can I talk to you?

There's my gal.
Hey, dad, can I talk to you?
Sure. In my study.

Hey, dad, can I talk to you?
Sure. In my study.
Ok.

Sure. In my study.
Ok.
You don't seem at all

Ok.
You don't seem at all
nervous, young man.

You don't seem at all
nervous, young man.
But I didn't do anything

Nervous, young man.
But I didn't do anything
wrong.

But I didn't do anything
wrong.
Oh. Right.

Wrong.
Oh. Right.
Well, I guess my belt can have

Oh. Right.
Well, I guess my belt can have
the day off.

Well, I guess my belt can have
the day off.
Darn it.

The day off.
Darn it.
Dad, I'm a little worried

Darn it.
Dad, I'm a little worried
about my new responsibility of

Dad, I'm a little worried
about my new responsibility of
taking care of tommy.

About my new responsibility of
taking care of tommy.
The half-wit, eh?

Taking care of tommy.
The half-wit, eh?
Yeah. I'm confused.

The half-wit, eh?
Yeah. I'm confused.
God made him, but I can't think

Yeah. I'm confused.
God made him, but I can't think
of why he'd do a thing like that

God made him, but I can't think
of why he'd do a thing like that
to tommy.

Of why he'd do a thing like that
to tommy.
Can god make mistakes?

To tommy.
Can god make mistakes?
Glad you asked, orel.

Can god make mistakes?
Glad you asked, orel.
God makes two kinds of mistakes.

Glad you asked, orel.
God makes two kinds of mistakes.
The first kind is called a

God makes two kinds of mistakes.
The first kind is called a
miracle--you know, bleeding

The first kind is called a
miracle--you know, bleeding
statues, burning bushes,

Miracle--you know, bleeding
statues, burning bushes,
earthquakes and hurricanes that

Statues, burning bushes,
earthquakes and hurricanes that
destroy disgusting foreign

Earthquakes and hurricanes that
destroy disgusting foreign
cultures.

Destroy disgusting foreign
cultures.
Those are all good mistakes that

Cultures.
Those are all good mistakes that
back up our faith in positive

Those are all good mistakes that
back up our faith in positive
ways.

Back up our faith in positive
ways.
Then there are his not-so-good

Ways.
Then there are his not-so-good
mistakes--the common cold,

Then there are his not-so-good
mistakes--the common cold,
traffic jams, and the mentally

Mistakes--the common cold,
traffic jams, and the mentally
Ret*rded.

Traffic jams, and the mentally
Ret*rded.
They're called god's blunders.

Ret*rded.
They're called god's blunders.
But how can god be omnipotent

They're called god's blunders.
But how can god be omnipotent
and make blunders?

But how can god be omnipotent
and make blunders?
Well, when I say words like

And make blunders?
Well, when I say words like
"mistakes" and "blunders," you

Well, when I say words like
"mistakes" and "blunders," you
miss my sly little wink.

"Mistakes" and "blunders," you
miss my sly little wink.
That wink means we don't

Miss my sly little wink.
That wink means we don't
understand everything about god.

That wink means we don't
understand everything about god.
All we do know is that when he

Understand everything about god.
All we do know is that when he
"goofs up" like that, it's just

All we do know is that when he
"goofs up" like that, it's just
an illustration of the spookiest

"Goofs up" like that, it's just
an illustration of the spookiest
commandment of all--

An illustration of the spookiest
commandment of all--
"the lord works in mysterious

Commandment of all--
"the lord works in mysterious
ways."

"The lord works in mysterious
ways."
Yikes.

Ways."
Yikes.
So that's what that means.

Yikes.
So that's what that means.
You betcha.

So that's what that means.
You betcha.
Those mistakes test our faith.

You betcha.
Those mistakes test our faith.
Wow. Thanks, dad.

Those mistakes test our faith.
Wow. Thanks, dad.
You helped a lot.

Wow. Thanks, dad.
You helped a lot.
Heh heh heh.

You helped a lot.
Heh heh heh.
But how is that a

Heh heh heh.
But how is that a
commandment?

But how is that a
commandment?
Shh. Shh shh shh.

Commandment?
Shh. Shh shh shh.
You really don't have to walk

Shh. Shh shh shh.
You really don't have to walk
me every morning, orel.

You really don't have to walk
me every morning, orel.
Look, tommy. I like it.

Me every morning, orel.
Look, tommy. I like it.
It helps me test my faith.

Look, tommy. I like it.
It helps me test my faith.
You should understand the

It helps me test my faith.
You should understand the
bible, stupid.

You should understand the
bible, stupid.
Yeah, like "abraham begat

Bible, stupid.
Yeah, like "abraham begat
isaac."

Yeah, like "abraham begat
isaac."
Ooh!

Isaac."
Ooh!
Or "blessed are the meek."

Ooh!
Or "blessed are the meek."
Oh!

Or "blessed are the meek."
Oh!
Yeah, or "he who is without

Oh!
Yeah, or "he who is without
sin."

Yeah, or "he who is without
sin."
Aah!

Sin."
Aah!
Hey, they're hurting my

Aah!
Hey, they're hurting my
friends.

Hey, they're hurting my
friends.
Tommy, wait!

Friends.
Tommy, wait!
You're a jerk. Ha ha ha!

Tommy, wait!
You're a jerk. Ha ha ha!
Normal kids, normal kids,

You're a jerk. Ha ha ha!
Normal kids, normal kids,
listen to me.

Normal kids, normal kids,
listen to me.
Get lost, orel.

Listen to me.
Get lost, orel.
We're playing missionary.

Get lost, orel.
We're playing missionary.
Wait, everyone, please.

We're playing missionary.
Wait, everyone, please.
Listen up.

Wait, everyone, please.
Listen up.
Just because these kids are

Listen up.
Just because these kids are
different, that doesn't mean we

Just because these kids are
different, that doesn't mean we
should treat them badly.

Different, that doesn't mean we
should treat them badly.
I mean, golly, if god loves them

Should treat them badly.
I mean, golly, if god loves them
for their inadequacies, then we

I mean, golly, if god loves them
for their inadequacies, then we
should, too.

For their inadequacies, then we
should, too.
You see, god loves everyone,

Should, too.
You see, god loves everyone,
even the stupid and Ret*rded

You see, god loves everyone,
even the stupid and Ret*rded
like these poor children,

Even the stupid and Ret*rded
like these poor children,
because, as hard as it may be to

Like these poor children,
because, as hard as it may be to
believe, god wants them this

Because, as hard as it may be to
believe, god wants them this
stupid.

Believe, god wants them this
stupid.
Yes, these children are not as

Stupid.
Yes, these children are not as
lucky as we are, but we

Yes, these children are not as
lucky as we are, but we
shouldn't ridicule them.

Lucky as we are, but we
shouldn't ridicule them.
We should pity them with all of

Shouldn't ridicule them.
We should pity them with all of
our love and patience, for we

We should pity them with all of
our love and patience, for we
all know god is perfect, so they

Our love and patience, for we
all know god is perfect, so they
are perfect, perfectly stupid,

All know god is perfect, so they
are perfect, perfectly stupid,
perfectly.

Are perfect, perfectly stupid,
perfectly.
Sorry, kid.

Perfectly.
Sorry, kid.
Yeah. You're sad.

Sorry, kid.
Yeah. You're sad.
Oh, yeah.

Yeah. You're sad.
Oh, yeah.
Poor guy.

Oh, yeah.
Poor guy.
Oh, boy.

Poor guy.
Oh, boy.
Well, at least his heart is in

Oh, boy.
Well, at least his heart is in
the right place.

Well, at least his heart is in
the right place.
Poor kid.

The right place.
Poor kid.
Hmm, poor kids.

Hello. Good-bye.

Skull!