01x04 - Waste

[bunniefuu]

Morning, sal.
What's the proof on this baby?
Well, uh, two cartons ought

What's the proof on this baby?
Well, uh, two cartons ought
to get you where you want to go.

Well, uh, two cartons ought
to get you where you want to go.
Heh heh!

To get you where you want to go.
Heh heh!
Figured.

Heh heh!
Figured.
Dad, can I buy this tin of

Figured.
Dad, can I buy this tin of
bandages?

Dad, can I buy this tin of
bandages?
What for, orel?

Bandages?
What for, orel?
The container is perfect to

What for, orel?
The container is perfect to
hold my bible figurines,

The container is perfect to
hold my bible figurines,
so I'll never lose them.

Hold my bible figurines,
so I'll never lose them.
All...

So I'll never lose them.
All...
Right.

All...
Right.
This too, sal.

Right.
This too, sal.
Thanks, dad.

This too, sal.
Thanks, dad.
Wow.

Thanks, dad.
Wow.
Peter crucified upside down.

Wow.
Peter crucified upside down.
Dad?

Peter crucified upside down.
Dad?
Come on, orel.

Dad?
Come on, orel.
I'm not the tooth fairy.

Come on, orel.
I'm not the tooth fairy.
Money's very expensive these

I'm not the tooth fairy.
Money's very expensive these
days.

Money's very expensive these
days.
Ok.

Days.
Ok.
Mr. Figurelli, can you

Ok.
Mr. Figurelli, can you
please throw these bandages away

Mr. Figurelli, can you
please throw these bandages away
for me?

Please throw these bandages away
for me?
Hey, pal, aren't you

For me?
Hey, pal, aren't you
listening?

Hey, pal, aren't you
listening?
I work a dead-end job to make

Listening?
I work a dead-end job to make
that money.

I work a dead-end job to make
that money.
You've got to use all those

That money.
You've got to use all those
bandages first, then you can use

You've got to use all those
bandages first, then you can use
the box.

Bandages first, then you can use
the box.
All right.

The box.
All right.
I think you need a part-time

All right.
I think you need a part-time
job, young man.

I think you need a part-time
job, young man.
That way you'll understand that

Job, young man.
That way you'll understand that
it's not only a sin to waste

That way you'll understand that
it's not only a sin to waste
money, but also insane.

It's not only a sin to waste
money, but also insane.
Yes, dad.

Money, but also insane.
Yes, dad.
Hey, what about working here?

Yes, dad.
Hey, what about working here?
I could use an underage delivery

Hey, what about working here?
I could use an underage delivery
boy that I could pay whatever I

I could use an underage delivery
boy that I could pay whatever I
want.

Boy that I could pay whatever I
want.
There you go.

Want.
There you go.
He'll take it.

There you go.
He'll take it.
Great!

He'll take it.
Great!
You can start tomorrow after

Great!
You can start tomorrow after
school.

You can start tomorrow after
school.
Thanks, mr. Figurelli.

School.
Thanks, mr. Figurelli.
Heh, no prob, orel.

Thanks, mr. Figurelli.
Heh, no prob, orel.
Now, let's go to church.

Heh, no prob, orel.
Now, let's go to church.
[Gulping]

Now, let's go to church.
[Gulping]
brethren, today I look around

[Gulping]
brethren, today I look around
the streets of moralton and my

Brethren, today I look around
the streets of moralton and my
heart breaks.

The streets of moralton and my
heart breaks.
But it isn't the heartbreak I

Heart breaks.
But it isn't the heartbreak I
get when a woman rejects me...

But it isn't the heartbreak I
get when a woman rejects me...
No!

Get when a woman rejects me...
No!
Oh, no.

No!
Oh, no.
This is a lesser...

Oh, no.
This is a lesser...
[Burps]

This is a lesser...
[Burps]
yet still potent heartbreak.

[Burps]
yet still potent heartbreak.
It is the heartbreak for my

Yet still potent heartbreak.
It is the heartbreak for my
fellow man.

It is the heartbreak for my
fellow man.
Those lost souls who walk the

Fellow man.
Those lost souls who walk the
streets without money in their

Those lost souls who walk the
streets without money in their
pockets, shoes on their feet, or

Streets without money in their
pockets, shoes on their feet, or
hair on their heads.

Pockets, shoes on their feet, or
hair on their heads.
[Grunting]

Hair on their heads.
[Grunting]
those unfortunate wretches

[Grunting]
those unfortunate wretches
who cannot afford footwear and

Those unfortunate wretches
who cannot afford footwear and
do not have the means to

Who cannot afford footwear and
do not have the means to
purchase toupees...

Do not have the means to
purchase toupees...
For they are poor.

Purchase toupees...
For they are poor.
Why has god forsaken them,

For they are poor.
Why has god forsaken them,
you ask?

Why has god forsaken them,
you ask?
Why has he ignored them?

You ask?
Why has he ignored them?
He hasn't ignored them, dear

Why has he ignored them?
He hasn't ignored them, dear
brothers and sisters.

He hasn't ignored them, dear
brothers and sisters.
Oh, no.

Brothers and sisters.
Oh, no.
God has taken away their shoes

Oh, no.
God has taken away their shoes
and money and wigs for a

God has taken away their shoes
and money and wigs for a
specific reason.

And money and wigs for a
specific reason.
Not just because he is a jerk,

Specific reason.
Not just because he is a jerk,
but because he must test us.

Not just because he is a jerk,
but because he must test us.
The lord has put it to all his

But because he must test us.
The lord has put it to all his
children that we must help the

The lord has put it to all his
children that we must help the
poor with our charity

Children that we must help the
poor with our charity
or burn in hell.

Poor with our charity
or burn in hell.
So, to you I say,

Or burn in hell.
So, to you I say,
"help the poor--if you know

So, to you I say,
"help the poor--if you know
what's good for you."

"Help the poor--if you know
what's good for you."
Amen.

What's good for you."
Amen.
Amen.

Amen.
Amen.
Made a k*lling today,

Amen.
Made a k*lling today,
huh, orel?

Made a k*lling today,
huh, orel?
Yes, sir.

Huh, orel?
Yes, sir.
I'm rolling in dough with these

Yes, sir.
I'm rolling in dough with these
tips and the 25 cents an hour

I'm rolling in dough with these
tips and the 25 cents an hour
you're giving me.

Tips and the 25 cents an hour
you're giving me.
Not till two fridays

You're giving me.
Not till two fridays
from now.

Not till two fridays
from now.
I know.

From now.
I know.
Can I go, mr. Figurelli?

I know.
Can I go, mr. Figurelli?
Oh, yeah.

Can I go, mr. Figurelli?
Oh, yeah.
Quick, before I owe you another

Oh, yeah.
Quick, before I owe you another
quarter.

Quick, before I owe you another
quarter.
Ok.

Quarter.
Ok.
Bye!

Ok.
Bye!
[Coughing]

Bye!
[Coughing]
help the poor--

[Coughing]
help the poor--
if you know what's good for you.

Help the poor--
if you know what's good for you.
Hot dog!

If you know what's good for you.
Hot dog!
[Coughing continues]

Hot dog!
[Coughing continues]
hello.

[Coughing continues]
hello.
Hey, kid, want some crack?

Hello.
Hey, kid, want some crack?
Gee, I don't know what that

Hey, kid, want some crack?
Gee, I don't know what that
is, but shouldn't I be giving

Gee, I don't know what that
is, but shouldn't I be giving
you something instead?

Is, but shouldn't I be giving
you something instead?
What?

You something instead?
What?
Well, you're poor,

What?
Well, you're poor,
and all good christians

Well, you're poor,
and all good christians
should help the poor.

And all good christians
should help the poor.
Well, here, sir--

Should help the poor.
Well, here, sir--
take this charity.

Well, here, sir--
take this charity.
The lord wants me to help you.

Take this charity.
The lord wants me to help you.
Uh, you want to give

The lord wants me to help you.
Uh, you want to give
this to me?

Uh, you want to give
this to me?
No one's ever given me something

This to me?
No one's ever given me something
for nothing.

No one's ever given me something
for nothing.
You've melted my cold heart.

For nothing.
You've melted my cold heart.
Here, take the crack.

You've melted my cold heart.
Here, take the crack.
Oh, no, thanks.

Here, take the crack.
Oh, no, thanks.
You don't need to give me

Oh, no, thanks.
You don't need to give me
anything.

You don't need to give me
anything.
I'm not going to burn in hell.

Anything.
I'm not going to burn in hell.
Oh, it's the least I can do

I'm not going to burn in hell.
Oh, it's the least I can do
for a fellow christian, and

Oh, it's the least I can do
for a fellow christian, and
believe me, you'll be doing me a

For a fellow christian, and
believe me, you'll be doing me a
favor by taking this.

Believe me, you'll be doing me a
favor by taking this.
Really, sir?

Favor by taking this.
Really, sir?
How?

Really, sir?
How?
You do this stuff once and

How?
You do this stuff once and
you'll be coming back for more--

You do this stuff once and
you'll be coming back for more--
I guarantee it.

You'll be coming back for more--
I guarantee it.
Well, if it really

I guarantee it.
Well, if it really
helps you...

Well, if it really
helps you...
What do I do with it?

Helps you...
What do I do with it?
Um, a kid your age...

What do I do with it?
Um, a kid your age...
I'd smoke it.

Um, a kid your age...
I'd smoke it.
Oh, I'm too young to smoke.

I'd smoke it.
Oh, I'm too young to smoke.
Don't worry.

Oh, I'm too young to smoke.
Don't worry.
There's no legal age limit for

Don't worry.
There's no legal age limit for
this stuff.

There's no legal age limit for
this stuff.
It's not tobacco?

This stuff.
It's not tobacco?
Oh, no, no, no, no.

It's not tobacco?
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Hmm.

Oh, no, no, no, no.
Hmm.
Well, I guess it's ok then.

Hmm.
Well, I guess it's ok then.
I'll throw in this pipe

Well, I guess it's ok then.
I'll throw in this pipe
for free.

I'll throw in this pipe
for free.
Gee, thanks!

For free.
Gee, thanks!
Well, I'd better go home before

Gee, thanks!
Well, I'd better go home before
it gets too late.

Well, I'd better go home before
it gets too late.
Bye!

It gets too late.
Bye!
Hi, mom.

Bye!
Hi, mom.
Hi, dad.

Hi, mom.
Hi, dad.
My, you're getting home

Hi, dad.
My, you're getting home
late, orel.

My, you're getting home
late, orel.
How was your first day,

Late, orel.
How was your first day,
working boy?

How was your first day,
working boy?
Great, dad.

Working boy?
Great, dad.
I made a lot of money.

Great, dad.
I made a lot of money.
Goody, goody, goody,

I made a lot of money.
Goody, goody, goody,
goody, goody!

Goody, goody, goody,
goody, goody!
Let me see, let me see,

Goody, goody!
Let me see, let me see,
let me see!

Let me see, let me see,
let me see!
That's the best part--

Let me see!
That's the best part--
I gave it all to a homeless man.

That's the best part--
I gave it all to a homeless man.
What?

I gave it all to a homeless man.
What?
Just like god wants us to do.

What?
Just like god wants us to do.
Well, that was very

Just like god wants us to do.
Well, that was very
sweet of you.

Well, that was very
sweet of you.
Yeah, but did you have to

Sweet of you.
Yeah, but did you have to
give it all?

Yeah, but did you have to
give it all?
Now you're poor.

Give it all?
Now you're poor.
Actually, he gave me

Now you're poor.
Actually, he gave me
something for the money, so I

Actually, he gave me
something for the money, so I
kind of helped him out by

Something for the money, so I
kind of helped him out by
letting him sell me some stuff.

Kind of helped him out by
letting him sell me some stuff.
Oh.

Letting him sell me some stuff.
Oh.
Well, I guess that's ok--

Oh.
Well, I guess that's ok--
as long as you can use whatever

Well, I guess that's ok--
as long as you can use whatever
he gives you.

As long as you can use whatever
he gives you.
Oh, I'm going to go use it

He gives you.
Oh, I'm going to go use it
right now.

Oh, I'm going to go use it
right now.
Good boy, son.

Right now.
Good boy, son.
Good boy.

Good boy, son.
Good boy.
¶ Doop-doo-doo doo doo

Good boy.
¶ Doop-doo-doo doo doo
[door closes]

¶ Doop-doo-doo doo doo
[door closes]
what do you suppose he's

[Door closes]
what do you suppose he's
going upstairs to use, exactly?

What do you suppose he's
going upstairs to use, exactly?
["I don't know" sound]

Going upstairs to use, exactly?
["I don't know" sound]
imitating car]

["I don't know" sound]
imitating car]
imitating brakes]

Imitating car]
imitating brakes]
imitating g*nf*re]

Imitating brakes]
imitating g*nf*re]
[gasp]

Imitating g*nf*re]
[gasp]
look, sampson--crack!

[Gasp]
look, sampson--crack!
Hooray!

Look, sampson--crack!
Hooray!
Hmm.

Hooray!
Hmm.
Poor people smoke it.

Hmm.
Poor people smoke it.
It must be good.

Poor people smoke it.
It must be good.
I'll say.

It must be good.
I'll say.
Hey, orel, you better try some.

I'll say.
Hey, orel, you better try some.
It's a sin to waste your money.

Hey, orel, you better try some.
It's a sin to waste your money.
Great idea!

It's a sin to waste your money.
Great idea!
I'll smoke the crack.

Great idea!
I'll smoke the crack.
Halle...

I'll smoke the crack.
Halle...
Lujah.

Halle...
Lujah.
I hope you love it as much as

Lujah.
I hope you love it as much as
I love you.

I hope you love it as much as
I love you.
Shut up, jesus.

I love you.
Shut up, jesus.
Whee!

Shut up, jesus.
Whee!
Love ya!

[Panting]
ah, that's the last delivery
for the day.

Ah, that's the last delivery
for the day.
What?

For the day.
What?
I barely made half of what

What?
I barely made half of what
I usually make.

I barely made half of what
I usually make.
Slow day, son.

I usually make.
Slow day, son.
I want to return these.

Slow day, son.
I want to return these.
Give me my money back!

I want to return these.
Give me my money back!
No can do, orel.

Give me my money back!
No can do, orel.
[Whimpers]

No can do, orel.
[Whimpers]
I'm trying to help the poor,

[Whimpers]
I'm trying to help the poor,
you jerk.

I'm trying to help the poor,
you jerk.
Orel, what's come over you?

You jerk.
Orel, what's come over you?
[Whimpers]

Orel, what's come over you?
[Whimpers]
I didn't make nearly enough

[Whimpers]
I didn't make nearly enough
scratch today!

I didn't make nearly enough
scratch today!
No return policy.

Scratch today!
No return policy.
You know that, orel.

No return policy.
You know that, orel.
You work here.

You know that, orel.
You work here.
No, I don't.

You work here.
No, I don't.
I quit!

No, I don't.
I quit!
Ah, kids these days.

I quit!
Ah, kids these days.
[Whistling]

Hey!
¶ Blood, blood, money, money
booze, booze, booze ¶

¶ Blood, blood, money, money
booze, booze, booze ¶
normally you'd be too young

Booze, booze, booze ¶
normally you'd be too young
to give on your own, orel, but I

Normally you'd be too young
to give on your own, orel, but I
know your dad's trying to teach

To give on your own, orel, but I
know your dad's trying to teach
you the importance of money.

Know your dad's trying to teach
you the importance of money.
Yeah, and believe me,

You the importance of money.
Yeah, and believe me,
I'm learning.

Yeah, and believe me,
I'm learning.
Now take my blood and give me

I'm learning.
Now take my blood and give me
that cash, fast.

Now take my blood and give me
that cash, fast.
Well, I think he'll be very

That cash, fast.
Well, I think he'll be very
pleased with your new attitude.

Well, I think he'll be very
pleased with your new attitude.
Hold still, son, I can't find

Pleased with your new attitude.
Hold still, son, I can't find
the vein.

Hold still, son, I can't find
the vein.
Hurry, I'm dying here!

The vein.
Hurry, I'm dying here!
Give me that!

Hurry, I'm dying here!
Give me that!
Hmm, uh...

Give me that!
Hmm, uh...
Let me get you a bandage.

Hmm, uh...
Let me get you a bandage.
Got my own.

Let me get you a bandage.
Got my own.
h* h*!

Got my own.
h* h*!
Well, you're certainly prepared.

h* h*!
Well, you're certainly prepared.
Yakitty yak!

Well, you're certainly prepared.
Yakitty yak!
Where's the sawbuck?

Yakitty yak!
Where's the sawbuck?
[Shuddering]

Where's the sawbuck?
[Shuddering]
ahh!

[Shuddering]
ahh!
Blessed be the lord.

Ahh!
Blessed be the lord.
Hurry, sir.

Blessed be the lord.
Hurry, sir.
I'm jonesing!

Hurry, sir.
I'm jonesing!
Here.

I'm jonesing!
Here.
Hey, I like you, kid.

Here.
Hey, I like you, kid.
You remind me of a short me.

Hey, I like you, kid.
You remind me of a short me.
Ahem.

You remind me of a short me.
Ahem.
Put your hands up.

Ahem.
Put your hands up.
Orel, you know he

Put your hands up.
Orel, you know he
didn't mean you.

Orel, you know he
didn't mean you.
Now, come over here, son.

Didn't mean you.
Now, come over here, son.
Oh, this is jive!

Now, come over here, son.
Oh, this is jive!
Orel!

Oh, this is jive!
Orel!
I think we have a date--

Orel!
I think we have a date--
in my study.

I think we have a date--
in my study.
[Gulp]

In my study.
[Gulp]
I don't understand, son.

[Gulp]
I don't understand, son.
Why get mixed up with a fellow

I don't understand, son.
Why get mixed up with a fellow
like that?

Why get mixed up with a fellow
like that?
Gee, dad, I was only trying

Like that?
Gee, dad, I was only trying
to be a good christian

Gee, dad, I was only trying
to be a good christian
and help the poor.

To be a good christian
and help the poor.
The poor?

And help the poor.
The poor?
Orel, that man was richer

The poor?
Orel, that man was richer
than me.

Orel, that man was richer
than me.
He was?

Than me.
He was?
Mm-hmm.

He was?
Mm-hmm.
Selling crack is a lucrative

Mm-hmm.
Selling crack is a lucrative
business right now.

Selling crack is a lucrative
business right now.
People love it.

Business right now.
People love it.
That "poor man" is making a

People love it.
That "poor man" is making a
k*lling.

That "poor man" is making a
k*lling.
He's lucky.

k*lling.
He's lucky.
But he looks so down and out.

He's lucky.
But he looks so down and out.
Ha!

But he looks so down and out.
Ha!
More like up and in.

Ha!
More like up and in.
Wow.

More like up and in.
Wow.
Anyway, all this doesn't

Wow.
Anyway, all this doesn't
explain why you got wrapped up

Anyway, all this doesn't
explain why you got wrapped up
in all this awful business.

Explain why you got wrapped up
in all this awful business.
Well, I gave him money so he

In all this awful business.
Well, I gave him money so he
gave me the crack.

Well, I gave him money so he
gave me the crack.
And I had to use it, dad,

Gave me the crack.
And I had to use it, dad,
remember?

And I had to use it, dad,
remember?
Because of what you said to me--

Remember?
Because of what you said to me--
it's a sin to waste good money.

Because of what you said to me--
it's a sin to waste good money.
That is right, son.

It's a sin to waste good money.
That is right, son.
I'm proud of you for that.

That is right, son.
I'm proud of you for that.
But I don't know if you realize

I'm proud of you for that.
But I don't know if you realize
the true danger of crack.

But I don't know if you realize
the true danger of crack.
Crack is a gateway to slang.

The true danger of crack.
Crack is a gateway to slang.
Slang?

Crack is a gateway to slang.
Slang?
Yes.

Slang?
Yes.
Remember, son: people know who

Yes.
Remember, son: people know who
you are by the words you use,

Remember, son: people know who
you are by the words you use,
not the things you do.

You are by the words you use,
not the things you do.
I'm sorry, dad.

Not the things you do.
I'm sorry, dad.
From now on, when I do drugs,

I'm sorry, dad.
From now on, when I do drugs,
I'm going to speak properly.

From now on, when I do drugs,
I'm going to speak properly.
Attaboy!

I'm going to speak properly.
Attaboy!
Just remember the lost

Attaboy!
Just remember the lost


Just remember the lost
thou shalt not bastardize


Thou shalt not bastardize
the american language.

Thou shalt not bastardize
the american language.
Oh.

The american language.
Oh.
Well, I think you've learned

Oh.
Well, I think you've learned
your lesson.

Well, I think you've learned
your lesson.
Now give me that crack,

Your lesson.
Now give me that crack,
and half the profit I make from

Now give me that crack,
and half the profit I make from
it will go in the donation tray

And half the profit I make from
it will go in the donation tray
this sunday at church.

It will go in the donation tray
this sunday at church.
How much did you pay for it?

This sunday at church.
How much did you pay for it?
50 Bucks,

How much did you pay for it?
50 Bucks,
but it's really good.

50 Bucks,
but it's really good.
You can probably get double

But it's really good.
You can probably get double
that.

You can probably get double
that.
Ha ha!

That.
Ha ha!
That's my boy.

Ha ha!
That's my boy.
Let's eat!

That's my boy.
Let's eat!
[Shutter clicking]

Let's eat!
[Shutter clicking]
hello, good-bye!