01x08 - Loyalty

[bunniefuu]

¶ La la la la la ¶

No, shapey!

Mine!

Orel, play nice with your

Little brother.

Mom, he was pointing the

B.b. g*n right at his eye.

Well, you're the older one.

Deal with it.

Aagh!

And, for goodness sakes,

Give him his toy back.

The whole neighborhood is going

To think I'm a bad mother.

Sorry, mom.

Ooh, dark!

Shapey, be careful.

Don't pull the trigger.

Da-da!

Orel,

You know the rule.

Don't upset your brother until

Daddy's had his highball.

Sorry, dad.

But shapey--

Is only 7.

You should know better.

But--

No "buts," young man.

You need to behave more like an

Adult around here.

But I'm only 12.

That's no excuse.

Why, you're own personal hero

Jesus was very mature at your

Age.

He was?

Of course.

At 12, he was already busy

Proving the jews wrong.

Wow.

[Pow]

Yeow!

Orel!

Oh!

Ow!

Hold still or it will get

Infected.

And then you'll look even

Sillier.

But it stings.

That means the chemicals are

Working.

[Knock on door]

Excuse me, family.

Daddy needs to powder his

Bladder.

Sorry.

Orel had an accident with the

B.b. g*n.

Ha ha ha ha.

Well, you should be more

Careful, son.

I was, dad.

But I was distracted.

By what?

Jesus.

Jesus, eh?

Yeah.

I couldn't stop thinking about

How mature he already was at 12.

That's right.

He was.

How can I be like that, dad?

Well, you have a whole town

Full of role models.

Why don't you observe the

Behavior of adults right here in

Moralton.

Golly, good idea.

And I think I know the perfect

Place to start.

Gee...

Why are we sneaking around this

Tavern, orel?

Because, doughy, I need to

Observe maturity.

And I figure there's no more

Mature place than--

Football!

Hockey!

Football!

Hockey!

Aagh!

Football!

Hockey!

Football!

Hockey!

Football!

Hockey!

Oh, now's our chance.

Hockey!

Football!

¶ Sad, sad, sad ¶

Wow, look.

They're all here.

Ms. Sensordoll, the librarian,

Coach stopframe, principal

Fakey, officer papermouth.

All of them under one roof.

Gosh.

Principal fakey is kissing

Nurse blinkless.

I don't understand.

Isn't he married to mrs. Fakey?

Don't question your elders,

Doughy.

Principal fakey is in his

Fifties.

He must know what's best.

We just don't understand yet.

Hey, look over there.

Mr. And mrs. Jointson--

They're married.

Oh, let's watch them.

How was your day?

It was a day.

What does that mean?

Why don't you talk to me like a

Person?

I am.

Amazing!

It's like they have their own

Language.

That language is called

Maturity.

¶ I'm sadly sad

Saddity sad ¶

Yeah!

Whoo-hoo!

¶ Right now is the saddest

I've ever been

Until now ¶

Don't get me wrong.

Being alone is great.

It's just I don't know what to

Do with all my money.

Oh, I can think of a few

Things, honey.

That's what I'm saying!

I'll give you money!

Standing!

Sitting!

Standing!

Sitting!

Standing!

Sitting.

Whoa!

This place is like an amusement

Park full of life lessons.

Did you get enough notes yet,

Orel?

I want to go.

It smells like pee and poo in

Here.

¶ Sad saddity sad

I'm sad... ¶

Bye, orel.

Bye, doughy.

Waah!

You pig!

How dare you?!

I gave my whole life to you!

[Sobbing]

Mommy, wait!

Let her go, billy.

They always come back!

Why did you scream that at

Her just now, mr. Figurelli?

It's the only way to really

Get rid of them, orel.

Hmm.

See you at track tomorrow,

Billy.

I gave my whole life to you.

Dad!

It's better napkins than most

Napkins.

But if you're going to go with

The 20-weight napkin, you might

As well splurge for the 22

Napkin, which has got linen for

A stronger bond.

[Sighs]

Here's why.

¶ La la la la la la

La ¶

That kid gets more action

That I do.

Ha ha.

I am still weaning him, clay.

Bloberta, he's 7.

He should not be using your milk

To wash down his meatloaf--

Which I pay for by working that

Stinking dead-end job!

Ha ha.

I am so sick of your

Complaining.

Why don't you just quit your job

And quit being such a crybaby?

Oh, thanks for the sympathy!

You have never been on my side!

Why would I be on the side of

A self-destructive alcoholic?

I can't believe I gave you

The privilege of satisfying me

Every night.

Son of a--

[Yelling through gritted teeth]

[Growling]

I'm a man.

Aha!

Yep.

Maturity juice.

[Shudders]

[Shudders]

¶ Room-boom-boom-boom-boom

Ah!

Room-boom-boom-boom-boom

Ah!

A-room-boom-boom-boom-boom

Hey!

A-room-boom-boom-boom-boom

Oh! ¶

[Laughter]

Hey, you kids!

Get off the lawn!

[Laughter]

[Laughing]

¶ A-boom-boom-boom-boom-boom

Ah!

Boom-boom-boom-boom-boom

Ah! ¶

Surprise!

Great.

Another year.

I don't want to know your name.

Just for tonight, I need to be

Held.

I need to be with someone.

It doesn't matter who.

I want to go and skip.

[Groans]

Yeah?!

Try being 12!

[Giggling]

Shut up, woman!

[Screaming]

Have a good day at school,

Dear.

Ah, have a good day yourself.

Hmm.

Now, where have I seen that

Behavior before?

Have a good day at work, dear.

Ah, have a good day yourself.

Clay?

Hmm?

Ahem.

I think you need to have a

Little talk with your son.

Hmm.

¶ A-room-boom-boom-boom-boom

Ah!

A-room-boom-boom-boom-boom

Ah!

A-room-boom-boom-boom-boom

Hey!

A-room-boom-boom-boom-boom-- ¶

Orel!

You're acting like a child!

[Hiccoughs]

I don't know what's gotten

Into you lately, young man.

My talks just don't seem to be

Helping.

But, dad, I thought I was

Doing what you wanted.

Why on earth would I ever

Want you to take my precious

Alcoholic beverages?

Because you wanted me to be

More adult.

Orel, drinking on a daily

Basis is not the only way to be

An adult.

Well...

I tried not talking about my

Feelings, too.

Oh, son.

Behaving like a grown-up is many

Things.

First and foremost, it means

Doing things that you hate

Doing.

Like what, pop?

Well, like dealing with

People who make you unhappy,

Being stressed about things you

Have no control over,

And working soul-numbing jobs.

Oh.

Then, gradually, as we endure

These hardships and accept them

As normal, that's when we've

Finally earned the right to get

Drunk and be emotionally distant

From our families.

Just like my father.

I love you, dad.

I'm hungry, too.

Let's go eat.

¶ Sad, sad

Sadder than sad

I'm sadder with each

Passing moment

I'm much sadder now

Than a second ago

Sadly, even sadder now still ¶


¶ I looked back at life

When first I sang of my sorrow

T'was a happier time

Than I'm living through now

Which is bliss compared

With what's to follow

Sad ¶

Hello, good-bye.