01x06 - Bite-Sized

[bunniefuu]

[SIREN WAILING]

[♪♪♪]

BATMAN: Greetings, Bat-fans.

This is Batman.

And Robin, the Boy Wonder.

And me too: Bat-Mite.

Welcoming you to The New
Adventures of Batman.

Watch us wage our
never-ending battle

of good versus evil.

ROBIN: Ride with us as we chase
the greatest array of villains

the world has ever seen,

proving that crime
does not pay.

BATMAN: Get set for
thrills and action.

Join me, Batman.

And me: Robin, the Boy Wonder.

And Batgirl.

And me too: Bat-Mite.

ROBIN: In the super
New Adventures of--

BATMAN: Batman.

[♪♪♪]

[SIREN WAILING]

[♪♪♪]

[MACHINE WHIRRING]

The area is clear, sire.

There are no earthlings
within 100 miles of us.

Excellent.

Is everything ready
for my departure?

Everything is ready.

Hovercraft standing by.

If everything goes as planned,

I shall return with
Batman and Robin...

in miniature.

[LAUGHS]

[♪♪♪]

How's it coming, Robin?

We'll know in a minute, Batman.
Keep your fingers crossed.

Okay, try it now.

[ENGINE STARTS]

Hey, all right.

Sounds like it's gonna
make it this time.

[ENGINE SPUTTERS]

Holy smoke!

I give up.

Have you thought about trying
the old hairpin and gum trick?

Very funny.

BATMAN: We'll take
the Batcopter.

We don't want to be
late for the banquet.

After all, it is in our honor.

What's happening, Dynamic Duo?

Oh, no!

Having a little car trouble?

Nothing serious, Bat-Mite.

I'll fix it later.

I'll fix the
Batmobile in a jiffy.

Stand back.

Never mind, Bat-Mite, we'll--

[GROANS]

Uh, Bat-Mite, we're--

We're kind of in a hurry and--

Don't worry, Batman, I'll have
you on the road in a snap.

What happened, Robin?

Well, you're not gonna
believe this, but he--

Don't tell me. Don't tell me.

Now try it, Batman.

BATMAN: Hold your breath.

[ENGINE STARTS]

Piece of cake.

[♪♪♪]

I wonder if the
great Dynamic Duo

have any idea what's
in store for them.

Within the hour,
I'll have them

right in the palm of my hand.

[LAUGHS]

GORDON: Ladies and gentlemen,
we are here tonight

to honor two of Gotham
City's finest citizens.

Two men who really
need no introduction.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Batman and Robin.

[APPLAUSE]

[WHISTLES]

Thank you, ladies
and gentlemen.

We really appreciate
your enthusiastic support

and are deeply grateful for
this celebration here tonight.

Batman, Robin, look out!

[CROWD SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]

BATMAN: Electro!

ELECTRO: Don't try anything
foolish, commissioner.

And tell your men to
keep their distance,

or I'll put all of
Gotham City in a bottle.

[LAUGHING]

Unless you want to end
up smaller than a flea,

my little friend,

I suggest you put all
those foolish notions

out of your pointed
little head right now.

Anyone else care to try?

You're smarter than I
thought, for humans.

Now, if you'll excuse me,
I've really got to run.

Have a nice night.

[LAUGHS]

GORDON: Stay out
of this, Bat-Mite.

We'll have to move carefully.

Bat-Mite, come back here.

Bat-Mite!

There goes Gotham City.

Any luck, Batman?

Afraid not, Robin.
This container

is made of some kind of
indestructible material.

Looks like this will be
our home for a while.

What now, Batman?

Somehow, we've got
to get our hands

on Electro's shrinking-ray g*n.

It's the only way we can ever
return to our normal size again.

But there's only one problem:

How? I hope you're
comfortable,

Dynamic Duo.

If you need anything,

don't hesitate to call.

[LAUGHS]

Oops. Lousy landing.

Better try again.

Busting breakouts!
It's Bat-Mite.

Bat-Mite?

We gotta get his attention.

Hey, Bat-Mite.

Bat-Mite!

Bat-Mite!

Leaping laryngitis,
Batman, he can't hear us.

Hi, how are ya?

Long time no see.

Time for me to say adiós.

[CHUCKLES]

That little runt is
smarter than I thought.

I wonder where he's taking us.

I don't know, Robin, but
we'll find out soon enough.

[♪♪♪]

ELECTRO: Now, my
crusading little friends,

I have a job for you,
a very important job.

Hey,

pick on somebody your
own size, Electro.

Ah, but you're the perfect
size right now, Boy Wonder.

What's going through that
diabolical mind of yours,

Electro?

You and Robin are
going to steal

some military secrets for me.

Doesn't that sound like fun?

[LAUGHS]

No way are we going
to do that, Electro.

No way.

You're wrong, Batman.

Dead wrong.

[IN MONOTONE] What do
you want us to do, sire?

On the second floor
of that building

is a room labeled
"Project Alpha."

I want you to sneak
into that room

with this teeny camera

and photograph
certain documents.

I will be in constant
voice contact

and will instruct you
every step of the way.

It will be our pleasure

to obey your commands, sire.

Excellent.

I thought you would
see it my way.

ROBIN [IN MONOTONE]: Holy
breaking and entering.

How are we going to
get in there, Batman?

We'll hitch ourselves a ride.

Come on.

That's it, Robin.

Project Alpha.

ROBIN: Yeah, but
what about the guard?

We'll just have to be careful

going through the transom.

Come on.

Batman, this is Electro.

Do you read me?

I hear you, sire.

BATMAN [OVER RADIO]: We are
now inside the Alpha office.

What are your instructions?

ELECTRO [OVER RADIO]:
Look for a file

labeled "Weapons
and Installations."

Photograph them with
the camera I gave you

and get out as
fast as you can.

BATMAN: Yes, sire.

Imagine, the goody-goody
Batman and Robin

stealing for me, Electro.

What will the good people
of Gotham City think

of their mighty heroes now?

[LAUGHS]

Something tells me

I'll need help to get
the guys out of this one.

[RUSTLING]

Batman, someone's coming.

I'm finished.

You have performed
your task perfectly,

my little friends.

For now I have the power

to take over the world.

We are proud to
serve you, sire.

Is there any other way

we can help you?

Yes, there is one more
teeny little favor.

Get in.

Soon, the effects of my
brain ray will wear off

and you'll return to your
nasty, old hero selves.

But then, three-inch heroes

aren't much threat
to anyone, are they?

[LAUGHS]

They should rename you

the Dynamic Pickles.

[LAUGHS]

[♪♪♪]

Oh, boy. I hope the
commissioner's home.

[BUZZES]

[DOOR OPENS]

BARBARA: Hello, Bat-Mite.
Hi, Miss Gordon.

Is the commissioner home?

I'm afraid not.

He's been working on
that Electro case.

Is there something I can do?

I wanted the commissioner to get
in touch with Batgirl for me.

I have some important news
about Batman and Robin.

Oh, I'll contact
her, Bat-Mite.

Come on in, you can
wait in the library.

Well, Dynamic Duo,

in a short time, you
are going to witness

the beginning of my plan
to take over the world.

[♪♪♪]

[NORMAL VOICE] Robin, that
mind ray has worn off,

and we've gotta
get out of here.

[NORMAL VOICE] Batman,
what--? Wallowing waterbeds!

Let's hope this bottle

is made of just plain
old Earth glass.

We're in luck. It's glass.

[WATER SPLASHES]

Holy dog-paddle, Batman,

that was a little too close.

I'm afraid the fun isn't
over yet, Boy Wonder.

We've got a long
swim ahead of us,

and I'm afraid we're
going to look like bait

to some of the
fish along the way.

Well, look at it
this way, Batman.

You always wanted to
learn how to surf,

and I can't think of a
better time than now.

Good thinking, Robin.

Let's go.

[♪♪♪]

BAT-MITE: Oh, boy, is
she ever beautiful.

[SIGHS]

Hi, Bat-Mite.

Yipes!

Oh, sorry, Bat-Mite,

I didn't mean to frighten you.

Do you have news of
Batman and Robin?

Oh, hi, Batgirl.

Bat-Mite, what about the news?

Huh? What news?

[SIGHS] About
Batman and Robin.

Oh, boy, I completely forgot.

Yi-yipes!

[GASPS]

I'm listening, Bat-Mite.

Oh, right, right.
The news. The news...

Oh. The news. Got it.

They were going to steal
some secret plans for Electro

from the government buildings
out at Thunder Flats.

When? Half-hour, maybe more.

Then they're long gone by now.

Come on. Somehow we've got
to find Electro's spaceship.

ROBIN: Here it comes.

Start paddling,
Batman. Start paddling.

All right!

BATGIRL: This is desert sand.

You're sure this is the place
Electro parked his hovercraft?

This is it, Batgirl. I
never forget a place.

Then that spaceship could
be hidden out in the desert.

Come on.

We've got to get back
to the Batcave, Robin,

and try to find an antidote
to Electro's shrinking ray.

I hope Batcomputer is
feeling his oats tonight.

We'll need all the
help we can get.

BATCOMPUTER:
Well, Dynamic Duo,

looks like you could
use some help.

BATMAN: Electro used his
shrinking ray on us, Batcomputer.

Can you come up with an antidote
that'll bring us back to normal?

Ah...

That Electro is a very
clever fellow, all right.

Too bad he can't put
his smarts to good use.

Oh, well, I'll
see what I can do.

Another big fat
zero, Bat-Mite.

But that spaceship has gotta
be around here someplace.

Maybe the Batcomputer
can help us out.

BATCOMPUTER: Are
you ready, gentlemen?

ROBIN: Sock it to
us, Batcomputer.

Well, now, that's
much better,

I must say.

Batgirl, where are you?

We tracked Electro's
spaceship to the desert,

but aren't having
much luck locating it.

Then we've got to move fast.

Electro's planning to
take over the world,

and he has the power to do it.

We've got to stop him
before it's too late.

Batcomputer, can you help
us locate that spaceship?

BATCOMPUTER: It will
take some time, Batman,

but I can do it.

All right, get to work.

Stay where you are, Batgirl,

we'll pick you up
in the Batcopter.

Let's go, Robin.

[♪♪♪]

Is everything
ready, commander?

Yes, sire.

Very good.

Put up the first target.

The main Nike m*ssile Base

in White Sands, New Mexico.

Prepare the ray.

[BEEPING]

COMMANDER: Distance to
target is 1200 miles,

south by southwest.

Lock.

Activate.

[HUMMING]

Before the night
is over, commander,

the world will be ours.

[LAUGHS]

BATCOMPUTER: You are
dead on it now, Batman.

Straight ahead,
less than a mile.

Give my regards to Electro.

Will do, Batcomputer.

Over and out.

What's our plan
of attack, Batman?

We only have one chance,

and that's to catch
Electro by surprise.

[ALARM BEEPING]

Someone approaches.

Put on the scanner.

It's Batman and Robin.

Put the ray on them.

Batman, I see the spaceship.

There's a shrinking
ray on the roof,

and it's moving
around towards us.

Time to bail out.

BATMAN: Let's go.

[♪♪♪]

Oh, boy, this is
getting rough.

Hey, let me out of here.

Where are they?
Did you hit them?

No, sire.

Then find them with
the heat sensors.

We cannot let them get away.

BATMAN: We won't be
safe here for long.

I've got to destroy that ray.

How? You'll never
get close enough.

The Batarangs.

It's our only chance.

I'll run for that tree and
divert their attention.

Say when you're ready.

Let me do it, Batgirl.

This is no job for a
pretty girl like you.

You're sweet, Bat-Mite,

but I can take care of
myself very well, thank you.

On the count of three, Batgirl.

One...

Hey, then let me go with ya.

Two... All right,

but stay low.

You're telling a guy 2
foot tall to stay low?

What else is there?

Three.

[♪♪♪]

[BEEPING]

Come on, Robin.

We've got to stop Electro

before he takes off.

Quickly, quickly.
Get underway.

We've got to escape or my
whole plan is finished.

[MOANING]

BATMAN: Are you
all right, Electro?

You're going to pay
for this, Batman.

Mark my words.

Those are big words for someone
on their way to jail, Electro.

BAT-MITE: Hang in there,
shorty. I finally found somebody

shorter than me.

[LAUGHS]

A job well done.

[♪♪♪]

BATCOMPUTER: Bat Message.

Well, Robin, Electro
is in the slammer,

and the m*ssile base has been
returned to its normal size.

BATCOMPUTER: Thanks
to my antidote.

BAT-MITE: Hey, Batcomputer,

how 'bout returning
me to my normal size?

Six-foot-three and 200
hard-muscled pounds.

[BATCOMPUTER BEEPING]

[CHUCKLES]

Well, would you
believe 3-foot-3

and 55 lumpy-muscled pounds?

[LAUGHS]

[♪♪♪]