01x22 - The Space Phantom

[bunniefuu]

The Avengers.
I remember them.

They thought they were pretty tough.

Now, Thor, for instance.

Without that uru hammer,
he was just another Norse god.

And Iron Man.
Take away his jets and repulsors,

and what have you got?
A guy in a tin suit.

It was his old tin suit, at that!

Jan the Wasp.
Well, girls don't count.

And as for that friend of hers,
Henry Pym,

he took pills to become Giant Man.

Me? I don't need any of those things.

I'm the Hulk, and I am bigger
and stronger than any of them.

We used to meet
in Anthony Stark's mansion.

Stark himself was hardly ever there.

Where is Giant Man?
We can't begin without him.

Fear not. He shall appear.
My word on it.

It would be seemly
if you were attired

in more fitting raiment
than those filthy rags.

I'm the Hulk
and I wear what I want!

- So get lost.
- Churlish oaf.

You dare speak to the God
of Thunder in that manner?

Hold it, Thor.
We are all allies, remember.

Giant Man, from whence
have you come?

The stork brought us,
you handsome silly.

We came here in insect size
which is why you didn't see us.

Wasp and I can change size in a flash

by taking these instant capsules
of mine.

Sorry we're late but you know how
long it takes a woman to get ready.

Well, now we're all here, what next?

Even when there is no task before us,
we must meet regularly

to get to know each other better.

I'd like to get to know that handsome
Thor better. Much better.

Little do the Avengers know a new
danger is hurtling down upon them,

shrieking through the boundless
reaches of space

in the shape of
a strange, egg-like object.

After weeks of faster-than-light travel,

I am almost upon my objective.

In order to land on earth unobserved,

I shall alter my shape
and join this meteor swarm.

Now to land in this dark alley

and to change to my natural form.

That of the Space Phantom.

Done. Phase one completed

in my plan to conquer
the Planet Earth.

But now I must find a way
to reach the Avengers

without being detected.

And what easier way than merely
assuming an earthling's form?

And since two bodies
cannot coexist simultaneously,

you, earthling, are banished to limbo.

Between shadow and substance.
Be gone!

It will be easy
to catch the Avengers off guard,

for I know their secrets.
I have watched them from outer space.

But what the Space Phantom does not
know is that the top of their table

is a TV warning screen.

An intruder.
And not bad-looking, either.

He looks too sure of himself,
as though he's prepared for us.

Nobody can prepare for the Hulk.

- Calm down, big fella.
- Injure him at thy peril.

Easy, Thor. Don't get the Hulk
on a rampage.

Out of the way, all of you.

I'll go and meet him alone.

- The Hulk.
- So you know me, eh?

What's happening to me?

You go to limbo, and the Space
Phantom takes your identity.

How easy it is
to replace helpless humans.

What happened to the intruder, Hulk?

None of your business, fool.

Hulk, no matter how tough you are,
that sort of talk is out.

Quiet, rustpot, or I'll peel
that armour off you like a banana.

Hulk, you go too far.

Easy, Thor, I'll handle it.

You? I'll turn you into scrap iron.

What could have changed the Hulk
into yon hostile merciless attacker?

I'll teach you some manners,
you green-tinted gargoyle.

That's what you think!

Iron Man, Hulk! Avengers should fight
a common enemy, not each other.

- Stay out of this or you'll die.
- Henry Pym.

- Don't let him get away with that.
- Cease your fighting at my command.

Listen, Goldilocks,
what gives you the right to butt in?

My irresistible uru hammer! So be it.

Maybe you can stop Iron Man,
but not me!

Back, back, I say.

How well my plan is working.

Soon I shall succeed in breaking up
the Avengers forever.

How can anything save the Avengers?

Is the real Hulk gone forever?