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02x10 - Dethgovernor

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Metalocalypse". Aired: August 6, 2006 – October 27, 2013.*
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Centers on the larger-than-life melodic death metal band Dethklok, and often portrays dark and macabre content, including such subjects as violence, death, and the drawbacks of fame, with hyperbolic black comedy.

02x10 - Dethgovernor

Post by bunniefuu »

Well, class, your votes are in and here's your new second

-grade class President Nathan expl*si*n.

Nathan? Nathan, aren't you going to say anything? Yee

-ha! Whoo! I'm the lunatic of god's creation! Aah! Nathan.

Nathan, aren't you going to say anything? Aah! ♪ Do anything for Dethklok ♪ ♪ Do anything for Dethklok ♪ ♪ Do anything for Dethklok ♪ ♪ Do anything for Dethklok ♪ ♪ Dethklok! Dethklok! Dethklok! Dethklok! ♪ A political crisis looms in Florida.

as Governor Kip Slaughter is on the ropes.

after making disparaging remarks against Nathan expl*si*n.

State holidays are not given out for nothing.

This Nathan expl*si*n is a rock musician not a politician or w*r hero.

Any proposal for any state holiday concerning this man.

will be vetoed by me, I assure you.

I believe Nathan expl*si*n is a disgrace.

to the great state of Florida.

Ladies and gentleman this is This is the strangest sight I've ever seen.

The Governor is being hoisted into the air upside down.

Hey, Nate, they're gonna k*ll that Governor.

on account of what he said about you.

Goods.

His daughter has just spit on him.

Man, I love chips.

The President would appreciate it if you could say.

something on national TV to save the Governor.

from having his head chopped off by your rabid fans.

It looks like two men with machetes are It would only take a second and it would be a great political move.

I'm eating chips! It will only take a second.

God.

All right.

What am I supposed to be saying? Hey, what am I supposed to be saying? Hey.

Hey.

What am I Oh, right, right, right the Governor.

The Governor he said that I shouldn't have a holiday or something.

him, right? that guy.

Oh, my god.

I don't believe it.

I have never seen a sight like this.

As the Governor tearing pieces off him.

And there is the name "dildo" written on the poor Governor's forehead.

A headless corpse.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Governor is dead.

Riots and violence have hampered the special election.

due to the m*rder of Governor Kip Slaughter.

Gangs of rabid fans are insisting.

on Nathan expl*si*n for Governor.

The, uh, Governor.

was m*rder*d because of your remarks.

I didn't tell those guys to k*ll him.

Our fans, you know, they're they are crazy.

And loyal.

Yeah.

Why don't you take our side ever? Yeah, what about our feelings? So you feel bad about the Governor being ripped apart? No, we don't but we feels bad about having to plays in humidity 'cause you know it gets real balmy down there.

Yeah, it's hard to plays when your hands sweat.

All right.

Well, you guys know that Florida.

is in a violent state of anarchy.

Any concerns? No? None? You, uh, still on that, uh, potato

-chip kick, huh? Still just eating them potato chips.

All right.

Well, uh, for the record, I tried.

landslide write

-in victory.

Nathan expl*si*n is the Governor of Florida.

Nathan expl*si*n the next Governor of Florida! Nathan expl*si*n Governor of Florida! Gentlemen, it appears that Nathan expl*si*n.

will be the Governor of Florida.

This is an outrage.

How can we stop this? Consider what the people would do, General Crozier.

I feel we should go to purple alert.

Can you imagine being Governor of that? I'd have to live in Florida.

I wouldn't tell that angry mob.

that you don't want to be Governor.

You know, uh, what they did to the last Governor.

, I'm ed aren't I? Congratulations.

You's gonna be the real cool Governor.

Oh, that, Toki.

Yeah, Toki.

Don't be stupid.

Being Governor's totally lame.

We don't fill out paperwork and.

fill out Governor forms and wear suits and ties like dildos.

No offense.

None taken.

Yeah, Toki.

You sees, you's a stupid.

I'm nots takes all that! You could be a real cool Governor.

what cares about peoples and does things to make.

stuffs better instead of complains about everything.

Complaining's cool! Complaining's totally awesome! You know, being Governor has its advantages.

You'd be quite powerful.

Oh, really? And I could just put all my friends in charge of everything.

and just r*pe and pillage the economy.

and line my pockets with money and go mad with power? You actually could do that, you know technically.

I want to be in charge of the National Guard.

Alright, you got it.

I wants to help people! You got it! I need a secretary! You got it! I want to be ambassador to China.

You got it.

I wants no part of this decomcrats governments! Dude, Skwisgaar, do you know that Florida.

has the highest population of old ladies.

and old

-lady homes? You could be in charge of old you know what.

Then I wills be in charge of that thems old ladies! You got it! I swear to govern the Out of this piece

-of state.

Now let me hear your g*ns! Now I reallys gonna makes everything right.

and do something good for people.

But first I gots to get this office in order.

Moves that over there.

Not Not there.

No, moves it there.

No There.

As ambassador to China, welcome to my country.

And this is how we do it.

Hellos, Ethel.

Hellos, Rose.

Can I buy us a cup of Metamucil? And I promise every Floridian that you will all be rich because we're gonna print some more money! Why didn't anybody ever think of this before? TOKl: Not Not there.

No, moves it there.

No There.

Not there There.

No There.

Jumps out the window! Find me a paper clip! You do what I say, or I haves you all k*lled! Now your pants! Toki, your b*ner is showing.

Dude, Chen Lu dude, don't worry.

Don't worry.

Don't worry.

She just O.

D.

'd, okay? She just O.

D.

'd.

She'll be fine.

Just leave her here.

Chen Lu! Help me out! Oh, my god.

Oh, my god.

Oh, my god.

She's dead.

There's no cops! There's nothing to freaks are running around.

They're sh**ting people! Nathan.

Nathan, we, uh we, uh, got ourselves into a little.

situation with a Lady.

It's crazy out there.

Everyone goes nuts.

It's anarchy.

There's no police.

There are no police.

Guys, guys, this, uh This does not look good.

This does not look good for, uh, my, uh, administration.

I, uh where'd I put those chips? ♪ I'm having my cabinet schedule a debate ♪ ♪ The world will be our witness judged in eyes of hate ♪ ♪ I challenge the gods to stand their ground ♪ ♪ Taste my word sword in your filthy mouth ♪ ♪ Lmpeach god ♪ ♪ Now ♪ ♪ If we unite we'll take them down ♪ ♪ We'll use our strength ♪ ♪ We'll use our skill ♪ ♪ We will revolt ♪ ♪ And we will k*ll ♪ ♪ Impeach god ♪ ♪ We'll cause a storm ♪ ♪ We will unite and crush the houses ♪ It's a hurricane! Give me the weather bur Bureau Bur

-eau.

But that's where we are, sir.

Excellent.

Outstanding.

Good.

I command you to destroy the hurricane.

Yeah, use your weather

-controlling machines.

People can't destroy hurricanes, sir.

All right, uh knock it off course.

Do that.

I'm afraid that's impossible, sir.

Damn it! We've tried everything.

Not everything.

Well, not everything, I mean I mean, not literally everything.

Okay, well, I didn't mean literally everything.

Well, you said literally everything.

Have you used the Emergency Broadcasting System? I hates that thing the "be

-e

-e

-e

-e

-e

-e

-e

-ep.

" Oh, yeah.

"Be

-e

-e

-e

-e

-e

-e

-e

-ep.

" No.

No way.

This has been a message from Emergency Broadcast System.

All emergency systems have been looted and destroyed, sir.

They stole the beep? How'd they steal the beep? People are so low.

What the do you guys even do here? We name the hurricane, sir.

You name the hurricane? That's your job? What should we name this one? Name the hurricane.

Um Uh How about, uh, Scrambles? Scrambles the, uh, The Death Dealer.

The lips are chapped.

I don't even care.

I just love eating chips.

Oh, uh, I am confident that I have left Florida.

in a much better place than, uh, where I found it.

Oh you know what? it.

I'm gonna get out of here.

My back's k*lling me.

Whoo

-ee! Best Governor Florida ever had.

Chirp.