01x05 - Episode 5

[bunniefuu]

Hey, where's this gate thing?

- Up there.

- Huh?

How the hell

are we supposed to reach it?

Hey, Nanaue!

Let me climb up on you!

No.

Hey.

The back of all your necks

are flashing.

- Is that a bad sign?

- What?

Don't just stand there!

You gotta stop these things!

I can't!

I have no control over

whether they get reset or not.

Friggin' hell!

How are we supposed

to reset the timer, then?

You pray.

Pray that the reset signal is making

its way here from the other side.

No g*dd*mn way!

You've gotta be kidding!

- Calm down.

- Huh?

Based on my estimate

we've only got a few seconds left

until all our heads go kaboom.

What?

I see.

So, if our heads are still intact

after waiting a few seconds

it's proof that

the signal is being sent.

Okay, how much longer we got?

Six, five

- Tell us this sh*t earlier!

- Four, three

Two, one

Guess they didn't just

leave us for dead.

Yeah, assuming you actually know

how to count!

Well, that means

we're good for now, huh?

Hey, anybody feeling hungry?

I'm craving an egg salad sandwich!

Well, la dee friggin' da.

Stay sharp, people.

That timer needs to be reset

every 72 hours, right?

Don't let it go down

to the wire again.

Huh? Like you're one to talk!

The fact they didn't k*ll you

means that you're expected

to finish the mission.

Are we clear?

Huh? I dunno what you mean.

The mission to establish

and protect bridgeheads

that are meant to serve

as the framework

for resource acquisition

and research on this world.

Keep in mind

that's the only reason why

your heads are still attached

to your necks.

Anyway, for the time being,

our top priority is to establish

a good relationship

with the people of this kingdom.

We'll start by helping

to end the w*r.

If you're saying that

we're on a mission for peace

then consider it done.

Fair enough.

There's nothing worse than a movie

that just ends halfway through.

I guess I'll have to play along.

I don't roll over like a dog

for anyone.

But I'm willing to blow off some

steam by kicking the Empire's a*s.

Cool.

Shall we get crackin'?

Batter up!

Huh?

Hey! What the hell, man?

Limp-d*ck.

What?

Dammit!

That won't make more b*ll*ts

magically appear, you know.

No friggin' duh!

I've been frugal with 'em so far,

but nothing lasts forever.

"Frugal," you say?

Ah, look! I made a heart!

Ain't it cute?

I'm actually relieved you won't have

access to your dirty weapons anymore.

Huh? Come say that to my face.

Using a g*n is dirty?

What are you, a friggin' caveman?

If you wanna fight fair and square

then challenge 'em to a duel

with a glove slap or some sh*t!

- Huh?

- Cut it out, Deadshot.

Sorry. This guy's just an as*h*le

through and through.

And there's no fixing him.

However, g*ns are Peacemaker

and Harley's weapon of choice, too.

So this problem affects us all.

Worst-case scenario

we can just arm ourselves

with frying pans or something.

- That'll do the trick.

- Whaddya mean?

Whoever's got the frying pan

is always the strongest

in zombie movies.

I'm not seeing

any zombies around here.

All I'm saying is that if it can

beat zombies, it can beat anything!

Good grief.

This grand council of idiots won't be

solving our problem anytime soon.

We might be doomed.

Come again?

Well, I have an idea.

- For real?

- Yeah.

I was originally sent here as part

of an advanced team, remember?

You were?

It wasn't important enough

for me to commit to memory.

Well, my advance team didn't crash

when we first arrived here.

Which means our helicopter and gear

should still be in one piece.

Then let's get this show on the road.

I can't do jack sh*t

without any a*mo.

Hurry and replenish your supplies.

We'll go ahead without you.

The only problem is

our helicopter landed

on a mountain

that's over on the west side.

So we'll have to go back

to the fort first.

Even if we leave now,

we won't get there until nightfall.

Who the hell cares. I need b*ll*ts.

So I'm going

whether you like it or not.

Hey, can it wait

until after I take a bath?

Hey!

Nobody told me the baths

were so damn far away!

Well, good news. We're almost there.

We'll have to wait until tomorrow

morning to head for the chopper.

This is where we'll stay the night.

I'm going to need

my own cottage, please.

And a massage after my bath, too.

Out of the question.

Huh? You guys came back?

For a bit.

Anyways, I'm freakin' starving!

We're just about to throw

a dinner party.

Come and join us.

Huh?

Dinner party?

What's the occasion?

That loud and obnoxious knight

gave us some booze

as a reward for fighting.

Oh? How generous of him.

What the hell brought that on?

Who knows? But booze is booze.

No sense letting it go to waste.

C'mon, boss babe.

Have a drink with us.

But, like, doesn't it suck

to catch such a raw deal?

They just dragged you all out here

to fight a w*r.

Well, it definitely sucked at first,

but not anymore.

Huh?

In exchange for fighting

on the frontlines

they said we could have

free reign of this place.

They don't care as long as

the Empire doesn't control it.

I figured us villains

would just stay villains

but it don't feel half-bad to have

the Kingdom depend on us.

Huh? What are you talking about?

Villains are always villains.

Did you guys drink yourselves

stupid or what?

All this just because the Kingdom

showed you a little kindness.

Ignorance really is bliss.

Beanstalk!

What are you laughing about?

Nothing. It just figures

you guys would feel that way.

Whaddya mean?

You're all strong as hell.

That's why you can't relate

to how these other guys feel.

That means you're something special.

No duh, we're special.

Who do you think you're talking to?

Are you sure this is what you want?

Haven't you heard?

Frying pans are the ultimate weapon!

We'll hold down the fort here.

Yes, see to it, my minions!

Villains never bow down to anyone.

Ain't that right?

And we're villains,

just like you guys.

Well, off we go!

What is that?

- Shut up. Don't say anything.

- Whoa, whoa. Calm down.

- There's the mountain.

- Screw you!

No, screw you! Stop talking.

Is that a bird?

Let's head for the summit.

sh*t, is this for real?

There's a friggin' dragon

using the helicopter for a nest.

So that flying thing was a dragon?

I thought it was a bird.

Of all the places you could've landed

why would you choose a dragon's nest?

I didn't! I had no idea

there would be dragons here!

And there wasn't enough time

to check!

Christ. You've gotta be kidding me.

Well, we've got a team

of weaklings with crappy gear.

Not exactly ideal for dragon slaying.

Hold up, isn't slaying the dragon

supposed to happen

at the cl*max of the story?

Like a final boss or whatever.

Hey, somebody grab me

a huge-a*s crossbow.

I saw them use one to k*ll a dragon

in Game of Thrones.

At any rate, the chopper's fully

loaded with weapons and a*mo.

We can't just give up

and go back now.

Quit telling us what to do.

Look, nobody's chickening out.

- Wittle baby!

- Fine, then.

Looks like I have to step up

to the plate.

What are you gonna do?

Just stand back and watch.

Transform!

Wuzzat? A cat?

Gotta be a dog.

Birdie.

Guess we don't have good chemistry.

Some big-shot actor you are.

Can't even win over a dragon.

You b*stard!

Are you implying I'm some kind of

wannabe who's just hamming it up?

- Damn straight! Glad you get it!

- Your broccoli hair can get bent!

- You got dumb crinkly hair yourself!

- Listen up! I'm well known

for my natural acting performances!

- Oh, shaddup!

- You wouldn't know

Hey, guys? Now's probably

not the best time to argue.

- Shut the hell up already!

- Why don't you

Fantastic!

Now this is an Isekai!

No time for your bullshit! Move it!

It's breathing fire at us!

What do we do now?

Wait, I'll figure out a plan.

Huh?

Nanaue?

That's different.

Never seen a dragon

go for fish over meat.

Everyone's so health conscious

these days.

I can't imagine sharks

are part of a good diet, though.

Stop clowning around!

We gotta save him!

Oh, jeez.

Use this chance to get the weapons!

Let's move!

You still have a*mo?

Just one shot.

That shark's tenacious as hell.

What the?

Nana!

Is Nana okay?

Hot!

Oh, thank goodness!

How is he still okay

after getting hit by all that fire?

Looks like he found a way

to avoid becoming a shark steak.

Uh, hey? I think we're in trouble.

Did those flames dry out the mud?

Hey!

Eat this!

What'd I tell you?

Frying pans for the win!

- Huh?

- Huh?

Hey! Quit dragging your feet!

Give us those damn weapons!

I'm gonna go take a look!

Huh?

And touchdown!

She's friggin' nuts.

Check it out.

Seems nothing got damaged.

Grab whatever we can use.

This could come in handy.

Hey! sh*t's getting crazy down there.

Huh?

That's what I'm talking about!

Get off my a*s already!

What the hell's taking them so long?

- Yoo-hoo!

- Huh?

Here, special delivery!

Hey, lizard face!

Now!

Now this is how you k*ll a dragon.

You do very good job.

Me appreciate it.

What a haul! This is great!

Hey, Peacemaker.

How did you get the dragon to stop?

Oh, I used this.

Is that?

It's her egg, I'd assume.

I see. No wonder that dragon

was so desperate.

You took her baby as a hostage?

I'll make an omelet next time.

Gimme that frying pan.

I've never tasted dragon egg before.

In your freakin' dreams!

I can't believe you!

That's just cruel!

- What are you so mad about?

- Sorry, little eggie.

You're okay now.

Omigosh! So adorbs!

Well, it obviously thinks Harley

is its mom now.

Aw, who's a good boy?

Are newborn dragons

really like baby chicks?

I mean,

they're basically birds. Right?

You think I'm your mommy?

- Aww, too cute.

- Don't you dare.

- I'm gonna take you home.

- It's gonna get huge like its mom.

But it's just

a cute little guy for now.

Right?

- Who's a good boy?

- Whatever.

Don't come crying to me later.

We gotta give it a name.

How about Arthur?

You like that? Then Arthur it is!

My cute, wittle Arthur!

What do baby dragons even eat?

Gotta be fish, right?

Director, this is Rick Flag speaking.

Do you copy?

You're still alive, Flag?

Yeah, somehow.

And what about them?

Proceeding with the mission.

I'm currently accompanying Harley

and her group.

As it stands, we've established

an amicable relationship

with the kingdom.

All right. That's good news.

Then let's continue with the plan.

What is the status

of the advance team?

They've all joined the enemy ranks.

I see.

Then get rid of them.

Copy that.

Well? Can you get it running?

Nope.

This thing's not going anywhere.

That dragon made

a real g*dd*mn mess of it.

Guess we're going back on foot.

Let's pack up what we need and leave.

We can just come back

for the rest again later.

We won't have to worry about

running out of a*mo for a while.

Don't let it make you trigger happy

or you'll be sorry later.

I'll feed you when we get back, okay?

Hey, did you guys burn some toast?

It smells kinda funny.

That's not good!

What the hell?

No way. What happened?

Where's Beanstalk and the others?