02x03 - Fli on Your Own Supply

[bunniefuu]

And now your CEO,

Judy Ken Sebben.

When I first took over

Sebben & Sebben,

I vowed to lead us

into the 21st century

to lead through innovation

and revolutionary products.

Yeah, but, uh,

those ideas sucked.

- Human waste!

- Yeah, yeah, they did.

But where are we

if we don't try?

Please stop doing that.

Board members,

I give you the FL(I),

our next product

that doesn't suck.

Hello. If you've ever doubted

you can be happy

or that Sebben & Sebben

can make a successful product,

we'd like to change your mind

with FL(I).

- Judy?

- Loosen up, will ya?

What's FL(I), you ask?

Well, the inspiration's

right next to me.

To my left.

Meredith is the most

high-functioning person I know.

Her brain filters out the negative,

leaving her

in a state of total calm.

Not like this dumpster fire.

Guys, I'm using self-deprecation

to seem relatable.

We built these prototypes

to test in-house.

Each FL(I) is powered

by a fragment

- of Mere's mindtaker powers.

- Boy-oop!

Nobody likes me.

The negative thought is taken

by those powers

and turned into something better.

I'm unique and special.

As a young mindtaker,

other people's thoughts

were overwhelming.

I was obsessed with them,

controlled by them

till I learned

to take my own mind.

I guess you could say

this project is important to me.

To us.

And now you can stop

looking at me

and us.

What the [bleep] was that?

- ♪ Hey! ♪

- ♪ Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God ♪

♪ Who's the girl

that saves the world? ♪

♪ Hey! ♪

♪ Oh, my God,

oh, my God, oh, my God ♪

Birdgirl!

They liked it!

They really liked it.

You really know

how to handle the board.

All human relations, really.

It's kind of creepy.

Am I saying "really" a lot?

Not really.

Oh, and it's not me.

It's my secret weapon

my Leadership Stick!

I got it when I went

to New Zealand to visit

that remote Maori village

on QVC.

God, I love hotel TV.

Anytime I succeed,

it's because of the Stick.

Anytime I fail,

it's my own fault.

- Wow.

- Mm-hmm.

Lot to unpack there.

I'd be a wreck without her.

Her name's "Bith,"

which is "Beth" in New Zealand.

Hold her.

Feel the power of Bith.

Would love to,

but we need to divide

and conquer to launch this baby.

Then we meet for lunch.

Salad! Salad.

Did I lose you with salad?

I know that's a trigger word.

No, no, that's all great.

But I actually have a thing.

Mind your own beeswax, Hank.

- A Sebbentown thing.

- I thought we destroyed it.

We did.

But then we rebuilt it,

which you'll

be stumbling across

in next quarter's

earnings report.

You've been spending money

that's not ours again. Yay.

Something major's

going down there,

and I feel kind of responsible

since they have a statue

of me and we blew

some of their limbs off.

They were definitely asking for it.

Think maybe you can launch

the FL(I) on your own

in addition

to your normal work duties

- and also some of mine?

- Um, sure.

I mean, you are the half of

the team who talks to people

and drives things with your

limitless energy and terrifying title,

but if this Sebbentown thing

is really that important

Hank! Beeswax!

Ooh!

You stopped talking. Great.

You can borrow Bith,

guaranteed to make you

an awesome leader

or my money back.

Yeah, thanks, but no.

- I think I'll fly this one solo.

- Right.

You don't need anyone's help,

especially mine.

- I'll just drag you down.

- Totally. Dumpster fire.

You. Obviously.

You sure you don't

want me to stay?

It seems like

you want me to stay.

If that's what it seems like,

it's not what it seems.

So you want me to stay?

Do you want to stay?

- Yes.

- No.

- No.

- Yes.

Birdgirl!

Hey! I need your John Hancock

on these SEC forms,

and I'm transferring a bunch of Judy's

appointments to your MindCal.

And synched.

Unified field, unified force.

Judy hates that, too.

I need your Ollie Wolcott

on a B-day card

for Sarah

from Social Responsibility.

- My what? For whom?

- Sarah. She guards

the expectant mothers

parking space.

You know, gets a lot of money

on towing fees.

This sounds like

a Judy problem.

It's not a problem.

It's a birthday.

Oh, were your

birthdays problems?

Let's get into it.

Oh, good.

You're on video.

I scheduled your bathroom

break for an hour ago,

and your CEO office hours

start in 15 minutes.

You can sign right between

the hugging dinosaurs.

Nothing sexual.

1-5, One-fiver.

I left 2 minutes wiggle room.

Gillian, I missed

the bathroom break,

and tell the employees

I'm running late,

and, Paul, we're pushing

the B.D. to next Tuesday.

Ooh! Tuesday's when Judy

now you

runs urine tests.

She's very hands-on.

How's Wednesday?

Push a birthday?

You are a monster!

Thursday it is.

She was more beautiful

than thy first love

but now lies under boards.

That's it the last bit

of Baltimo on Earth.

Except for what's still

in the mines, right?

God damn it!

Forgot about that.

You better get up there

and blow up what's left

before some Erin Brockotits

sniffs it out.

Brockotits

She in marketing?

Take the white Festiva

in spot for 422.

Festiva?

Wait.

I-Is this a Birdteam mission?

I have no idea

what you're talking about.

Nor, alas, do I care.

I'm on the Birdteam.

New personal record.

Oh, my God, I can't

believe I gained 2 pounds this week.

I hope that no one notices.

Why did I get my mom's body?!

Millions of years of evolution

shaped my body

for optimal fecundity.

I am perfect.

Oh, God, is that a gray?

Are people creeped out by me?

No, Paul,

you're a necessary discomfort

for the sake of growth.

That's right.

Breathe.

Oh, my God.

I'll never have a vaginal orgasm.

Even Lady Diana needed

clitoral stimulation.

But at least she was a squirter.

Hello, Brian.

Welcome to the 1993 Ford

Festiva with a GL sport package.

You'll notice a b*mb

in the rear compartment.

Rear compartment

Back seat.

Press the red button to activate it.

Before you press the button,

I've allowed you 2 minutes

since that's the time it took me

to exit the car,

pop the back seat,

and locate the adjuster bar.

As long as you follow

my timing,

the b*mb's set

to perfectly explode.

What if I have to go

number one and a half?

So that's how the Birdteam

does it in a canister.

Nobody but you

does it in a canister.

Huh.

It's working!

Yeah, yeah, it is,

but I'm keeping my eye

on a few hotspots.

I hate humanity.

Wait till you hit your 20s.

Board meeting

in less than a minute.

But

I don't talk in front of people.

- That's Judy's jam.

- You do now.

My jam is to make fun of them

in my head while she's talking.

And you're presenting

this quarter's projections.

You better

get-a-typin' there.

You gonna eat that?

Sorry I'm a tad late.

Uh, just pulling up

the old presentation,

which, of course,

I finished already.

Can we, uh, get to the actuals

and year-to-date projections?

Actuals, huh?

Says here some thoughts

aren't getting

fixed.

Your system's at or near capacity.

We dealing with that?

Uh Yes, we are

addressing those concerns

with

our new concierge service

is what it's called, and, uh

w-where we I

will personally filter

the users' thoughts

for them s-so easily.

Boy-oop!

Mindtake override.

Hey!

Are you bypassing the system

so all the red-liners

go directly through your mind?

Yeah.

Is that a bad idea?

- Nope!

- Ha! An upcharge.

This is bullshit!

That's him as the consumer.

Oh, gross! I'm sweating?!

Oof!

Birdgirl thank God!

Oh.

Where have you been?

If it's an emergency,

there are faster ways

of communicating.

Maybe try texting next time.

Oh, good.

She didn't do the Sudoku.

Brockotits, Brockotits

I know that name.

Now, Brian, I'm imagining right about now

you're feeling a little peckish.

But whatever you do,

don't stop for the pastrami.

Welcome,

my road-weary friend!

Allow us to make

your visit magical.

That sh*t is pretty magical.

One pastrami,

two sweet teas to go.

Excellent choice.

Well, are you sure

we can't tempt you to

dine in?

And, Brian, if you do stop,

don't dine in.

Sure.

Something near the stage.

$15 reward for information

leading to the location of Meredith.

Contact Paul not R

in the lobby.

Concierge service.

Nice one, Mere.

Nun-unh!

Only Judy crosses

that threshold.

Shut up.

I need something in her office.

- What?

- I need the Leadership Stick,

and I need it now, Gillian.

Where is she?

Ooh, ooh!

I may have some idea.

- She's getting her legs reshaven.

- That's a sexist first guess.

Oh. She's eating wings

even though she told us

- she was vegan this week.

- We really doing this?

- She's with Psychic Susan.

- Nope.

- She's shorting stock.

- No.

- She's cracking a cold case.

- Not.

- She's putting in time on the speed bag.

- What?

- She's getting both her lazy eyes fixed.

- You're a pervert.

- She's getting her captain's license.

- Mnh-mnh.

- She's getting her third mole removed.

- Half a mole.

She's taking modeling classes

at John Robert Powers

so she can be

on "America's Top Model."

Everyone, Meredith

acting CEO in name only

will be able to answer

all your questions.

This isn't over, Pinky.

I warned them.

And now it's come to pass.

4:30?

g*dd*mn.

I should be home by now.

Ms. Concierge?

- Yes?

- One of the VIPs took her FL(I)

home and is now

having night terrors.

Wild guess.

Denise from finance?

She wasn't supposed

to bring her FL(I) home.

Switch the feed. Try "cuddling

with cat on futon."

I did. Now I'm running

"Folksy antique store."

Nothing's working.

Connecting you.

What'll get me first

the melanoma

or that son of a b*tch David?

I'm sure he gave me cancer!

He's secretly trying to k*ll me!

Whoa!

Denise 651, chill.

Maybe David will get the melanoma.

Ever think of that?

I need Stick!

Not to be that guy,

but I'm a little concerned

about your reliance

on single-use plastics.

I'm gonna be that guy.

Imagine a fork in a dolphin.

I always recycle.

It's part of my weltanschauung.

But it isn't recycled.

It's put on a cargo ship

that endlessly

sails around the world

because no one wants

our garbage anymore!

But it's not garbage.

It's recycling, Paul.

Well, tell that to an exaltation

of turtles, Single Use!

Just need another 6 inches.

And we have launch.

I'm not attacking you.

That's just my walnutschlong.

I didn't say

you were attacking me.

I said I felt attacked.

Clearly, you've never been

to family therapy.

It's you and me, Bith.

You're late for conflict mediation

with Mandy and Lyle in 4-A,

apple.

Every day there's a storm,

worse than the one before.

Snow in July.

Huh.

- This isn't snow. It's

- It's a variant of Baltimo.

Highly addictive.

You can't eat it.

I think we've established that.

But who'd want to

once you find out

how fun it is to snort it?

Really harsh comedown,

which is why

to never stop doing it.

Whoo!

We've got to trace

the source of this.

The EMF's spiking.

- Baltimo readings through the roof.

- The sewers.

- Oh, we don't have sewers.

- Just sh*t ponds.

Those are access shafts

to the old Baltimo mine.

We could follow those, and they might

lead to something

approaching a solution.

Why'd you wink?

I'm flirting.

We did equal work

rewriting the user manual,

but Mandy's taking 100% of

the credit like she always does.

- I hate you so very deeply.

- Screw you! Screw you! Screw you!

I think

we're getting somewhere!

How do you work

this G.D. thing?

I haven't peed in 24 hours,

and I've been holding in

a fart since this morning,

which is really impressive

because I had oatmeal.

Oops!

Sorry.

I thought I was calling Paul R.

Well, unfortunately,

we are cash-only.

And, Brian, if you do dine in,

make sure you have cash.

I don't usually do this,

but I'm, well

I'm part of the Birdteam.

Naturally, you've heard of us,

but you'll deny it, of course.

I'm on a VIP secret mission.

The Champagne Room of missions,

if you will.

So what say you forgive

my small debt

in exchange for a selfie

and a shout-out on my Insta?

I wish you hadn't said that.

Now I have no choice.

You will have to dance it off

like the rest of them!

Boy-oop!

Boy-oop!

Come on, Judy, pick up.

Mere! How's tricks?

Super.

Just out of curiosity

no big deal

when were you planning

to come back?

What?

Reception's so bad up here.

Quick follow-up.

How do you use Bith?

One sec.

Nothing fits!

Denise, hold. Judy

- You're needed at reception.

- Excuse me? Miss?

Can you mix patterns?

I wouldn't.

Sorry. Who's this?

Everyone, shut up.

I can't think.

Get down here!

They're tonguing each other!

They're tonguing each other!

This is a sight to witness!

Hey, paws off, guys.

Last I checked, Birdgirl

was on Sebbentown time.

Mere? Mere!

I can't do this.

- Ow!

- Find somebody else

to touch your back fat!

And now a treat that's sure

to delight and arouse.

Ladies,

make noise with your hands

and those mouths for Brian,

the Handsy Boss!

I hope the stripper

isn't grossed out by me.

Did I powder today?

They're all so weak,

so spiteful, so pitiful.

A little smelly.

I can't handle this.

Did I powder today?

Aah!

I can't turn off this much!

100% pure Baltimo.

Pure poison.

- It's so beautiful.

- Please don't snort that.

He's gone.

The blob

it's highly unstable.

That's no blob.

It's an egg,

and it's about to crack.

We don't have much time.

But we do have this.

- Okay, that's cool.

- It's a late birthday present.

You really are

hard to shop for.

The whole system's melting down!

It's what we always feared.

I can't believe I'm about to say

this, but we need Birdgirl.

I'm part of the problem.

I use recyclable straw!

Ugh!

Where are the bird-suits again?

People think I smell

like I wear a corset!

Stop!

It's him. He's back.

Wait for me in the Festiva.

Ronnie, you know what to do.

Hello, old friend.

Never ask

what happened in there.

Let's just say your debt is paid.

I am born again.

Something that wants to

destroy our very way of life

is about to come out of that mine.

We must fight to survive.

Who's with me?

8-Balt to the first 10 volunteers.

What the actual [bleep]?

Um, Birdgirl,

for your to-do list,

how about you teach one of us

how to fly this thing?

What is that?

Whatever that is can wait.

Judy, Mere needs you.

Oh, my God, Mere.

Should've used the Leadership Stick.

I do feel awful about what the

company has done to your town.

Again.

But I must go now

and leave you in the capable

hands of the Birdteam

who will protect you

until I return.

Get behind us, people!

Yes, people. Do that.

I shall return!

Cut. Birdgirl's left

Sebbentown air space.

We're clear. Cut.

No wonder she left.

Your act two break was horrible.

You went to all this trouble

to create a fake

Birdgirl adventure?

Hilarious.

Oh, I'm sorry.

You're amused?

We blew the town pension on

Maldon and coc-a-ine ba*ls.

She'd come up here

for a bag of bagels.

Guess we could've used

prop drugs.

You had one job.

To create a world where Birdgirl

was forever our savior

and us her loyal followers

as God and nature intended,

but you blew it.

Yeah, I'm not sure Birdgirl

will see the charm in this.

Maybe we don't mention it to her

if and when we see her again.

Hey, Meredith, Sarah's

birthday's in 10 minutes,

and I just wanted to

let you know we have

everything we need except

your [bleep] John Hancock!

Okay, I'm out the door.

Make it stop.

Make it stop.

I got you, Mere.

I got you.

Password "Salad" approved.

FL(I) system shutting down.

- What's going on?

- Oh, Mere, honey, I'm so sorry.

I had no idea you needed me,

like, really needed me,

and I wasn't here for you.

I did ask, in a non-asking way.

Guess I expected you to notice,

but you didn't because

you're a dumpster fire

and so am I, I guess.

I hate your job, Jude.

And you're the only one

who can do it.

It's just a stick.

Your real Leadership Stick

is in here.

Oh, God.

You just snapped her in

It's okay, it's okay.

Wait, what happened with

the Sebbentown thing?

That wasn't important.

Well, it kinda was.

A lot of people died, I think.

Way to make me feel bad.

I'll make it up to

them, and you. Always do.

There's one thing

I have to do first.

And that's why women

shouldn't be CEOs.

Hey!

♪ Who is the girl

that saves the world? ♪

Hey! Birdgirl!

♪ Wings of fire, unique like pearls ♪

Hey! Birdgirl!

♪ Who's the one they can't defeat? ♪

Hey! Birdgirl!

♪ Ultra fierce, and it's all you need ♪

Hey! Birdgirl!

Hey!

Birdgirl!